How to Co-Parent with a Narcissist (Without Losing Your Mind)

Is your ex impossible to co-parent with? Are they constantly triggering you, refusing to cooperate, and leaving you feeling emotionally drained? You are NOT alone—and this episode is your survival guide.

In this eye-opening episode of The Crazy Ex-Wives Club, host Erica is joined by returning guest and high-conflict divorce coach Victoria McCooey to talk about one of the hardest truths in co-parenting: some exes simply will not change.

Whether you're dealing with a narcissist, a control freak, or just someone who refuses to meet you halfway, this episode helps you shift from frustration to strategy—and reclaim your peace in the process.

Victoria shares her lived experience and expert tools for navigating the emotional rollercoaster of parenting with someone who thrives on chaos. You'll learn how to stop taking the bait, set clear boundaries, and become the steady, secure parent your children can count on.

This conversation is both a lifeline and a pep talk for anyone co-parenting in the deep end. Because while you can’t control your ex… you can control how much of your energy they get.

🔑 Key Themes & Takeaways:

• They Will Not Change – Why accepting this truth is the first step to taking your power back.

• Don’t Take the Bait – The art of responding without reacting when your ex pushes all your buttons.

• You’re Wired to Fix—But You Don’t Have To – How overachieving “good girls” get trapped in proving their worth post-divorce.

• Your Kids Don’t Need You to Be Perfect – What they really need is your presence, not your perfection.

• Create Boundaries That Protect Your Peace – Tactical tips on when to respond, what to say, and when to say nothing at all.

We talk about:

• 00:00 Introduction 

• 01:36 Understanding High Conflict Personalities

• 02:26 Navigating Co-Parenting Challenges

• 04:01 The Conflict Triangle and Parental Roles

• 06:27 Managing Expectations and Emotional Triggers

• 09:57 The Importance of Self-Worth and Approval

• 17:55 Handling Triggers and Taking Back Control

• 22:20 The Fixer Mentality

• 23:02 Prioritizing Self-Care

• 27:52 Handling Ex-Partner Conflicts

• 29:20 Setting Boundaries and Consistency

• 32:13 Emotional Readiness and Control

• 35:12 Reflections and Personal Growth

• 40:24 Concluding Thoughts and Encouragement

The Club: A Divorce Community to Help you Get Clear, Get Grounded and Move Forward. 

Psst… Have you heard? There is a new online space for you to get the support and guidance you need on your divorce journey. The Club is your space to heal, grow and get clear on what you want - whether you are unhappily married or taking those first steps through divorce. The Club offers on-demand programs, monthly live connection calls and a quarterly curated healing kit. Everything The Club offers helps you get clear and get confident on what you want in your next chapter. 

Put your name on the VIP list to be the first invited to join. Space is limited, so grab your invite early. https://www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com/theclubwaitlist

Learn More About This Week’s Guest: Victoria McCooey

Victoria McCooey is a High Conflict Divorce Coach, a Divorce Mediator, and the creator of the Reclaim Your Power System™. I help my clients overcome the pain, fear and overwhelm caused by an abusive spouse by helping them escape their victim mentality and opening their minds to the amazing possibilities available.

Connect with Victoria

• Website: https://www.victoriamccooey.com 

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/victoria_mccooey 

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/VictoriaMcCooeyCoaching/ 

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@victoriamccooey 

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