Should You Keep the House After Divorce?

Think keeping the house after divorce is the “win”? It might be your biggest regret.

In this heartfelt and practical episode, Erica sits down with Certified Divorce Lending Professional and mortgage expert Tami Wollensak to talk about one of the most emotional—and financially risky—parts of divorce: the house.

Together, they peel back the layers of what it really costs (emotionally and financially) to keep the home after separation. From navigating outdated settlement agreements to understanding the silent expenses of solo homeownership, Tami shares the critical questions every divorcing woman needs to ask before making a decision that could drain her energy and her bank account.

If you’ve ever cried into a mortgage calculator, wondered whether to sell or stay, or felt paralyzed by guilt, stigma, or confusion—this conversation is your permission slip to breathe, reflect, and decide with confidence.

Because keeping the house shouldn't cost you your peace.

🔑 Key Themes & Takeaways:

• More Than a Mortgage: Why your decision about the house is emotional and business

• Buyouts, Assumptions, and Red Flags: What you need to know about equity, timing, and hidden costs

• House Poor ≠ Empowered: How to avoid the “won the house, lost everything else” trap

• The Power of a Pause: Why renting might be your best next move—and how to feel good about it

• The Mom Guilt Spiral: How to break free from people-pleasing and start making values-aligned choices

• New Nest, New Chapter: Helping your kids (and yourself) feel safe, excited, and emotionally supported in a new home

  
  

Use code CEW50 for 50% off Tami’s ebook: https://tami.samcart.com/products/divorcing-with-a-home 

We talk about:

• 00:00 Introduction 

• 01:12 Understanding Divorce Mortgage Specialization

• 05:24 Emotional and Financial Aspects of Keeping the House

• 08:32 Personal Experiences and Reflections

• 14:17 Children's Perspective and Moving Forward

• 18:48 The Big Move: Emotions and Adjustments

• 18:59 Emotional Pre-Work: Preparing for Change

• 20:03 The Importance of Alignment in Decision Making

• 21:34 Navigating the Emotional Rollercoaster

• 24:28 Financial Realities and Tough Decisions

• 30:57 Understanding Mortgage Assumptions

• 35:03 Final Thoughts and Resources

  
  

The Club: A Divorce Community to Help you Get Clear, Get Grounded and Move Forward. 

Psst… Have you heard? There is a new online space for you to get the support and guidance you need on your divorce journey. The Club is your space to heal, grow and get clear on what you want - whether you are unhappily married or taking those first steps through divorce. The Club offers on-demand programs, monthly live connection calls and a quarterly curated healing kit. Everything The Club offers helps you get clear and get confident on what you want in your next chapter. 

Grab your spot NOW: https://www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com/theclub

Learn More About This Week’s Guest: Tami Wollensak

When divorce and real estate collide, Tami Wollensak brings clarity. As a nationally licensed mortgage loan originator and Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP®), Tami helps divorcing individuals make smart, stable home and mortgage decisions. With 30+ years of industry experience, she bridges the gap between family law and lending—ensuring settlement agreements align with real-world mortgage guidelines.

She partners with attorneys, mediators, and financial pros to protect her clients’ futures—whether keeping the home or starting fresh. A trusted voice in the field, Tami speaks across media, podcasts, and events, empowering homeowners with options, not overwhelm. Serving all 50 states.

Connect with Tami

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tami_wollensak/ 

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/empowereduncoupling 

• YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/@empowereduncoupling 

• Website: www.takeorleavethehouse.com