May 7, 2025 • 21 mins
That familiar tightness in your chest, the flood of worst-case scenarios, the overwhelm that hits precisely when you're contemplating a bold move—we've all been there. But what if the fear that's keeping you stuck isn't actually a warning to stop, but a signpost pointing toward what matters most?
In this powerful exploration of fear and action, I unpack why we often misinterpret fear as a red light when it's actually more like a blinking yellow—a signal that something important lies ahead. Your nervous system is simply doing its job by alerting you to unfamiliar territory. This fear doesn't mean you're not ready; paradoxically, it often means exactly the opposite.
I break down three insidious lies your brain tells you when you're scared: that you need confidence before action (when confidence actually comes from action), that making changes means losing everything you've worked for (when alignment often leads to greater productivity), and that other people are simply braver than you (when they're merely more practiced at moving through fear). These myths keep high achievers stuck in patterns that drain their energy without moving them forward.
The heart of this episode offers three practical tools you can implement immediately: the 90-Day Rule to filter what truly deserves your attention, Tiny Brave Moves to build momentum without overwhelming yourself, and Reverse Visualization to light a fire under you when fear feels paralyzing. These aren't theoretical concepts—they're battle-tested strategies for building the courage muscle over time.
Your balance requires your boldness. It's not about being reckless or hustling harder—it's about trusting yourself enough to take action despite the butterflies. What brave move are you avoiding? Share it with me on Instagram or email me at jenn@jenncody.com—I'd love to celebrate your courage and hear how you feel on the other side of that action!
Thanks for listening!
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📩 Join my email list: https://www.jenncody.com/weekly-balance
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Hi there, welcome back to the Create your Day
podcast.
My name is Jen Cody and I amyour host.
Welcome to this week's episode.
I'm so happy you're here and Iam your host.
Welcome to this week's episode.
I'm so happy you're here.
I hope you have a few minutesto focus, invest in yourself and
just spend some time buildingbalance, because balance is what
we're all here for.
It is not something that wejust talk about, but it's
(00:39):
something that we actually build.
And what we're talking aboutthis week is actually something
that is keeping way too manypeople stuck, and that is the
fear that takes hold when we areabout to take action.
And I'm pretty sure you'refamiliar with the feeling, right
the one where your chest gets alittle bit tight.
Your brain starts throwing outevery worst case scenario you
(01:00):
can think of.
Your to-do list becomesoverwhelmingly like.
At that moment it's you canthink of.
Your to-do list becomesoverwhelmingly like.
At that moment it's you can'teven imagine adding another
thing to your to-do list.
And this all happens right atthe exact moment that you're
usually thinking about what issome brave move that I need to
do, what is something bold thatI have been meaning to do and
(01:25):
haven't actually taken action on.
So, yep, that's what we'regoing to talk about today, and
what I really want to go overwith you today is why that fear
is not the enemy, even thoughsometimes it really feels like
it is.
Instead, it's this mindset trapthat keeps us kind of paralyzed
, and I want to work on a fewtools that I'll share with you
(01:49):
that are going to help you movethrough this fear, because what
happens to a lot of us is thatwe wait for the fear to
disappear, and that sometimeswill never happen.
Granted, there may be timesthat it does, but for many
people, that fear is never goingto go away.
So what we need to do is figureout how do we move through it,
(02:11):
how do we move past it, andthat's what I want to dive into
with you today.
So let's start with chattingabout.
Fear is not a stop sign, so thisis not a sign that you're not
ready, and that's what happens.
We see fear, or we feel thefear instead of seeing it right,
(02:32):
and this is where theperfectionist in us gets a
little pissed off, because wesee that fear as a stop sign and
we think, oh, wait a minute,this is a sign that I should not
keep moving forward, and that'sactually not true.
Usually, the fear is morelikely a sign that you are ready
to move forward.
We're conditioned to think thatfear is this red light, but
(02:56):
sometimes, if we can reframethat and think of it as like a
blinking yellow light, somethingthat is just a heads up, that
right ahead of us is somethingthat matters, the fear means our
nervous system is doing its job.
Your nervous system is sayingwait a minute, something feels
different here, something feelslike we haven't gone in this
(03:17):
direction before, and oftentimesit's saying what if something
goes wrong?
What if I do the wrong thing?
What if I make a wrong move?
So, of course, fear shows up,and when you're about to step
out of the familiar and into theunknown, it's normal for that
fear to show up.
The key, like I said, isremembering that it is not a
(03:39):
stop sign, because our brain ohmy goodness, your brain loves
familiarity, she loves control.
She would very much prefer ifwe could just keep doing what
we've always done but somehowget new results.
And we all know that that's notpossible, because balance,
confidence, freedom, all ofthose things are living outside
(04:01):
of our comfort zone.
So the next time fear shows up,instead of interpreting it as
don't do it or hold still, don'tmove, what if you ask yourself,
what if this fear is pointingto something important?
Think about that.
What are the things that thatfear may be, blinking that
(04:21):
yellow light, trying to show youwhat's coming up ahead that
actually matters, that we needto pay attention to?
So I want to call out a fewlies that your brain loves to
tell you when you're scared.
The first one is I just need tofeel more confident first.
This is a lie.
Confidence does not come beforethe action.
(04:44):
Confidence is the result.
It's not a prerequisite.
It comes from action, notbefore.
Think about the first time youdid something.
You were nervous aboutsomething that everybody's done,
or maybe not everybody, butthink about maybe the first time
you drove a car.
It could be really scary, itcould be terrifying, but now
(05:04):
it's muscle memory right.
You get behind the wheel, youdrive.
You don't even think about it.
Why is that the case?
Because you kept showing up.
I can remember my son back in2017, when he was getting his
license.
Back in 2017, when he wasgetting his license, he was very
, very nervous and he was agreat driver, but he came home
(05:30):
one day and he told me that whenhe passed his road test, his
plan was to not drive at all forthe first six months.
Now, here in New York, thatfirst six months is considered a
probationary period.
It just means that I don't knowwhat it means actually, but I
guess if you get pulled over orget a ticket during that time,
maybe there's heavierconsequences.
You're in this probationaryperiod.
So his decision was to avoidany risk during that probation
(05:54):
period and I was like no, no, no.
You need to actually move pastthis fear and push yourself to
do the thing that you're scaredof so that you realize on the
other side of it, yourconfidence is going to start
building.
So the day that he passed hisroad test, he called me and he
was like I passed, I'm good.
I said great, you're pickingyour sister up from school today
(06:16):
, and I gave him the keys andsent him off into the world.
We need to do that when thingsare scary.
We need to do that when we'reafraid that making the wrong
move is going to have terriblerepercussions.
We can't just hold still inthose moments, because that's
when we lose out on what'spotentially there waiting for us
(06:39):
.
That's when we lose out onwhat's potentially there waiting
for us.
So the next lie that our brainsare telling us is this if I
slow down or make a change, Iwill lose everything that I've
worked for to this point.
Now let's unpack that for aminute, because that right,
there is guilt, and that isguilt that comes from hustle.
Right, it comes from thathustle culture, that culture
(07:00):
that told us that peace equalslaziness, that somehow looking
for alignment means that we'renot grateful for what we have
already.
Those are not true statements.
And those people out there thatare listening right now you high
achieving people.
You tend to believe that ifyou're not overwhelmed, you're
(07:20):
not working hard enough, and sowhen you think about slowing
down or making a change, youfeel like you're going to lose
that momentum, you're going tolose everything that you've
worked for and you'll havenothing to show for it.
But here's where I want you toreframe.
You do not need to suffer toearn your success.
Think about what it feels likewhen you are working towards
(07:42):
something that you love, whenyou're working towards something
that feels really in alignmentfor you.
Think about the last time thatyou can remember feeling that
really fluid state, that stateof flow where everything feels
easy, it doesn't feel likethere's a lot of resistance,
it's not an uphill battle.
Whatever it is that you'reworking for, it feels like it's
(08:06):
the next right thing to do.
Do you feel overwhelmed inthose moments?
No, you feel in flow.
You feel that you're in theright place at the right time,
and those are the times where weget the most done.
Those are the times where wewalk away from a you know
(08:27):
brainstorming session that feelslike five minutes and realize
we've just spent hours on doinglike dumping out everything
that's been in our brains.
So I want you to think abouthow that goes against the very
idea that slowing down andmaking a change means that
you'll lose what you've workedfor.
How that flow state goesagainst the idea that peace
(08:52):
equals laziness or seekingalignment means that you're
ungrateful.
You do not need to beoverwhelmed to be working hard.
Sometimes the greatest momentsof hard work feel super easy,
and that's what we want to beworking for.
You do not need to suffer toearn fulfillment, to earn your
(09:12):
success.
And what's the third lie?
The third one is that otherpeople are just braver than I am
, and this one can be a littlebit sneaky, because we are all
scrolling on Instagram.
We are all seeing other peoplepivoting, saying no to things,
setting boundaries, and it lookseffortless, it looks easy, it
looks like they are just livingtheir best life, but I promise
(09:34):
you it is not.
They are practiced, notfearless.
Write that down, because thatis the goal that you are looking
for.
You don't need to be fearless.
You need to be practiced, justpracticed.
So instead of asking yourselfwhy am I so scared?
What if you asked yourself whatwould I do if I knew this fear
(09:56):
was a normal part of the process?
Then what Would you stop?
Would you just say other peoplemust be braver?
Would you just say, if I pivot,I'm going to lose everything?
Of course not.
You would figure out how tomove through this fear because
it's a normal part of theprocess and that's really a
great place to be normal part ofthe process and that's really a
(10:19):
great place to be Understandingthat.
Oh, this fear is just signalingthat there's something
important going on.
It's signaling that somethingmatters to me and I need to pay
attention right now.
That's where you want to be.
So how do we make this allhappen?
Right at the beginning of thisepisode, I told you I was going
to take you through three toolsthat are going to help you take
action through fear, and this isthe part that I want you to
(10:42):
really use.
Right, this is the part that isthe action.
What are the things you cantake away from this episode?
Well, here are three tools thatare going to help you to take
brave action, to take boldaction, because we know where
does our balance lie, where dowe find balance?
Where do we build balance?
Balance is built out of boldand brave action.
(11:06):
Even when your voice is shaking,even when your stomach is
flipping around, doing backflipsand those butterflies are going
crazy, even when you feel likethat, nauseous and anxiety,
those are the moments that youwant to move through the fear.
So the first tool I'm going toshare with you is the 90 day
rule.
So I want you to ask yourself,whatever it is that's causing
(11:30):
the fear, whatever it is that isgiving you pause, that you're
frozen.
Will it matter 90 days from now?
The reason for asking thatquestion is it really helps you
to zoom out.
It helps you see that most ofthe things that we're obsessing
over, they're not going tomatter in three months.
And if they do matter, that isyour signal to move through the
(11:54):
fear.
So the 90 day rule is important, because it's not in place to
give you the tools you need tomove through the fear.
We're going to get to that in asecond.
This is like the filter that youwant to put these moves through
.
If you're faced with a movethat is giving you fear, that's
(12:14):
giving you paralyzing moments ofdoubt, this is the filter to
put it through, because it'sgoing to help you recognize can
I just move on from this or do Iactually need to move through
the fear?
So, if it matters 90 days fromnow, yes, hell yes, you need to
move through that fear.
If it won't matter 90 days fromnow, can you just let it go?
(12:38):
Can you not focus on it?
Can you leave it behind?
And leaving things behind isprobably a whole other episode
that we need to get into,because that is a quality that I
want you to be building as well, like when we talk about
resilience.
That is where resilience lieswhen we're able to leave things
behind that don't matter andrecognize that.
(13:01):
Here's the filter that you canuse to actually figure that out.
The 90 day rule.
Okay.
The second tool are tiny bravemoves or tiny bold moves, and
the reason I say tiny is becauseI want you to stop waiting for
the big dramatic life overhaul,because when we are scared, when
(13:28):
we're sitting in fear, whenwe're sitting in a place that
feels paralyzing, what we feelis that there's this big
dramatic life overhaul that weneed to do, or this big dramatic
work overhaul, career overhaul,relationship overhaul.
What is the big dramaticoverhaul that you're avoiding
(13:49):
Doesn't matter.
That's not what we're workingon.
We want to start with one micromove, one little tiny, brave
and bold move.
So what could that potentiallylook like?
This is saying no to someonewithout over explaining.
You know we talk a lot aboutsetting boundaries and saying no
when we want to, and a lot ofpeople, when they start that
(14:12):
process, they do it.
They say no, but they say noand then follow it up with a
paragraph explaining why they'resaying no, excusing themselves
from saying no, excusingthemselves for disrupting the
other person that they're sayingno to or causing some
discomfort for that person.
So a tiny bold move would becan you say no to something
(14:34):
today without over explaining?
Bold move would be can you sayno to something today, without
over explaining.
You don't have to do that.
You are allowed to say no.
Another tiny, bold move would beto schedule the call with
someone.
Schedule the conversation withsomeone that you've been putting
off.
What is something that you knowis important, but there's a
little bit of fear, keeping youparalyzed and you're not moving
(14:55):
forward.
What is that conversation about?
Schedule it.
You don't have to have it today, you just have to schedule it.
And I promise you're going tofeel relief when you schedule it
.
You really will, because it'salmost like that comparison of
going to the gym where they say,like the hardest part is
putting on your sneakers.
(15:15):
This is the same thing.
Scheduling that call is goingto open up a part of your brain
that has been locked down, andwhen that part of your brain
lights up, you're going to havea boost of confidence.
I promise you this, even beforethe conversation happens.
Scheduling it is going to giveyou a boost of confidence.
(15:37):
And then, what's another tinymove that you can make?
How about taking one hour outof your life to work towards
something you've been puttingoff, so you don't have to set
aside a day?
You don't have to set aside aday.
You don't have to go on aretreat for a weekend.
Just set aside an hour.
What's something you have beenputting off?
This could be anything, guys.
Right, this doesn't have to bea huge life overhaul.
(15:58):
Maybe it's something thatyou've been trying to accomplish
at work, maybe it's somethingyou've been trying to get your
new business off the ground, andmaybe it's something as simple
as cleaning your kitchencabinets.
But taking one hour to worktowards that maybe the kitchen
cabinets isn't such a great idea, Because if you're afraid, if
(16:20):
that's bringing up fear, then weneed to talk a little bit more
about what's going on in yourkitchen cabinets.
But taking one hour to work onsomething you've been kind of
paralyzed around and you've beenputting off is going to give
you that boost of confidence.
Here's the thing Bravery is notloud, bravery is consistent.
(16:41):
So let's go back to how do wefind tap into that bravery?
It really is through tiny, boldand brave moves.
It just builds that muscle andbuilds that muscle.
And then the third tool I wantto share with you is something
called reverse visualization.
So you all know I love a visionboard.
(17:02):
I do them on my retreats everysingle year.
One of my favorite things aboutvision boards is when people
come to the retreats and theyactually bring their past vision
boards or send me pictures ofthe past vision boards year
after year, just seeing how theyhave brought things into their
life Amazing.
I'm a huge vision board fan and, what's even more powerful,
(17:26):
visualizing what happens ifnothing changes.
So this is a really powerfulexercise.
We spend plenty of time talkingabout okay, we want to bring
these things into our lives, wewant to create change, we want
to really experience things in adifferent way, so we sit down,
we make the vision board, wemake the plan, we put it on the
(17:48):
calendar, we create the actionsteps all around that Great.
Have you ever stopped, though,and, instead of doing that,
allowed yourself to sit andvisualize what happens if you do
nothing?
What happens if you don't setthe boundary?
What happens if you keepputting yourself last?
What happens if you are in thesame exact place that you are
(18:12):
today, this time next year?
How does that feel?
Because sometimes that lightsthe fire faster than anything
else.
So, if you feel like your fearis really gripping you and it's
uncomfortable enough that youare not able to move forward,
this is a great exercise tolight that fire.
Because let me tell you, ifyou're uncomfortable where you
(18:36):
are today, how much does it suckto imagine being there 365 days
from now because you chose todo nothing?
And let's get that straightSitting still is a choice.
So don't wake up a year fromnow in the same place and say I
just didn't know what to do, Ijust didn't know what direction
(18:57):
to go in.
Going in no direction is achoice, and when you choose that
, there are consequences, andthose consequences is that you
will be in the same exact placeor worse.
Maybe you'll be in a worseplace by doing nothing.
So, for those of you who aredoing all the things and still
(19:18):
finding it really difficult tomove through that fear, use this
reverse visualization Superpowerful.
So what is the thing that you'vebeen avoiding?
What is the decision that youkeep spinning on?
What is the move that you wantto make?
But you just don't have thefreaking guts to say it out loud
.
I want to give you thatpermission.
(19:39):
You are allowed to be scared.
You are allowed to move anyway.
That fear is not the stop sign.
Your balance requires yourboldness.
Your balance requires yourbravery.
It's not about being reckless,it's not about hustling.
It's just about being braveenough to say I'm allowed to
(20:00):
want more and I trust myselfenough to go get it.
I trust myself enough to go getit.
Do you trust yourself enough togo get it?
If you don't, there's work to doto make that your reality.
I promise you can get there,and if you're ready to actually
do that work, let's talk.
We can do that work in astructured, supportive way.
(20:30):
It does not have to beoverwhelming.
So I want you to check out theshow notes for this episode so
you can really write down thosethree tools.
You can practice them and, likeI said, become practiced in
being brave.
All of this is something youbuild.
Balance, bravery, boldness,those are things that you build,
not things you find.
So thank you again for hangingout with me today.
(20:52):
I want you to go do one bravething today, just one.
Can you do it?
I know you can Share it with me.
Send me a DM on Instagram.
Send me an email, jen, atjencodycom.
I want to hear from you.
I want to know what is thebrave thing that you are
committing to doing and what Iwould love to know even more.
How do you feel on the otherside of it.
(21:14):
That's where the magic happens.
So until next time, go outthere, create your day in the
best way possible.
Thank you so much for spendingtime with me.
Please do me a favor hit pause,go, leave a rating and a review
for the podcast.
It's how we reach more peopleand it's so, so important.
Take a screenshot.
If you do that, send it to me.
(21:34):
I will send you a free gift.
Thank you so much, guys.
Until next week, take care ofyourselves, take care of each
other, and I will see you nexttime on the next episode of the
Create your Day podcast.
Have a good one.
Hi there, welcome back to the Create your Day
podcast.
My name is Jen Cody and I amyour host.
Welcome to this week's episode.
I'm so happy you're here and Iam your host.
Welcome to this week's episode.
I'm so happy you're here.
I hope you have a few minutesto focus, invest in yourself and
just spend some time buildingbalance, because balance is what
we're all here for.
It is not something that wejust talk about, but it's
(00:39):
something that we actually build.
And what we're talking aboutthis week is actually something
that is keeping way too manypeople stuck, and that is the
fear that takes hold when we areabout to take action.
And I'm pretty sure you'refamiliar with the feeling, right
the one where your chest gets alittle bit tight.
Your brain starts throwing outevery worst case scenario you
(01:00):
can think of.
Your to-do list becomesoverwhelmingly like.
At that moment it's you canthink of.
Your to-do list becomesoverwhelmingly like.
At that moment it's you can'teven imagine adding another
thing to your to-do list.
And this all happens right atthe exact moment that you're
usually thinking about what issome brave move that I need to
do, what is something bold thatI have been meaning to do and
(01:25):
haven't actually taken action on.
So, yep, that's what we'regoing to talk about today, and
what I really want to go overwith you today is why that fear
is not the enemy, even thoughsometimes it really feels like
it is.
Instead, it's this mindset trapthat keeps us kind of paralyzed
, and I want to work on a fewtools that I'll share with you
(01:49):
that are going to help you movethrough this fear, because what
happens to a lot of us is thatwe wait for the fear to
disappear, and that sometimeswill never happen.
Granted, there may be timesthat it does, but for many
people, that fear is never goingto go away.
So what we need to do is figureout how do we move through it,
(02:11):
how do we move past it, andthat's what I want to dive into
with you today.
So let's start with chattingabout.
Fear is not a stop sign, so thisis not a sign that you're not
ready, and that's what happens.
We see fear, or we feel thefear instead of seeing it right,
(02:32):
and this is where theperfectionist in us gets a
little pissed off, because wesee that fear as a stop sign and
we think, oh, wait a minute,this is a sign that I should not
keep moving forward, and that'sactually not true.
Usually, the fear is morelikely a sign that you are ready
to move forward.
We're conditioned to think thatfear is this red light, but
(02:56):
sometimes, if we can reframethat and think of it as like a
blinking yellow light, somethingthat is just a heads up, that
right ahead of us is somethingthat matters, the fear means our
nervous system is doing its job.
Your nervous system is sayingwait a minute, something feels
different here, something feelslike we haven't gone in this
(03:17):
direction before, and oftentimesit's saying what if something
goes wrong?
What if I do the wrong thing?
What if I make a wrong move?
So, of course, fear shows up,and when you're about to step
out of the familiar and into theunknown, it's normal for that
fear to show up.
The key, like I said, isremembering that it is not a
(03:39):
stop sign, because our brain ohmy goodness, your brain loves
familiarity, she loves control.
She would very much prefer ifwe could just keep doing what
we've always done but somehowget new results.
And we all know that that's notpossible, because balance,
confidence, freedom, all ofthose things are living outside
(04:01):
of our comfort zone.
So the next time fear shows up,instead of interpreting it as
don't do it or hold still, don'tmove, what if you ask yourself,
what if this fear is pointingto something important?
Think about that.
What are the things that thatfear may be, blinking that
(04:21):
yellow light, trying to show youwhat's coming up ahead that
actually matters, that we needto pay attention to?
So I want to call out a fewlies that your brain loves to
tell you when you're scared.
The first one is I just need tofeel more confident first.
This is a lie.
Confidence does not come beforethe action.
(04:44):
Confidence is the result.
It's not a prerequisite.
It comes from action, notbefore.
Think about the first time youdid something.
You were nervous aboutsomething that everybody's done,
or maybe not everybody, butthink about maybe the first time
you drove a car.
It could be really scary, itcould be terrifying, but now
(05:04):
it's muscle memory right.
You get behind the wheel, youdrive.
You don't even think about it.
Why is that the case?
Because you kept showing up.
I can remember my son back in2017, when he was getting his
license.
Back in 2017, when he wasgetting his license, he was very
, very nervous and he was agreat driver, but he came home
(05:30):
one day and he told me that whenhe passed his road test, his
plan was to not drive at all forthe first six months.
Now, here in New York, thatfirst six months is considered a
probationary period.
It just means that I don't knowwhat it means actually, but I
guess if you get pulled over orget a ticket during that time,
maybe there's heavierconsequences.
You're in this probationaryperiod.
So his decision was to avoidany risk during that probation
(05:54):
period and I was like no, no, no.
You need to actually move pastthis fear and push yourself to
do the thing that you're scaredof so that you realize on the
other side of it, yourconfidence is going to start
building.
So the day that he passed hisroad test, he called me and he
was like I passed, I'm good.
I said great, you're pickingyour sister up from school today
(06:16):
, and I gave him the keys andsent him off into the world.
We need to do that when thingsare scary.
We need to do that when we'reafraid that making the wrong
move is going to have terriblerepercussions.
We can't just hold still inthose moments, because that's
when we lose out on what'spotentially there waiting for us
(06:39):
.
That's when we lose out onwhat's potentially there waiting
for us.
So the next lie that our brainsare telling us is this if I
slow down or make a change, Iwill lose everything that I've
worked for to this point.
Now let's unpack that for aminute, because that right,
there is guilt, and that isguilt that comes from hustle.
Right, it comes from thathustle culture, that culture
(07:00):
that told us that peace equalslaziness, that somehow looking
for alignment means that we'renot grateful for what we have
already.
Those are not true statements.
And those people out there thatare listening right now you high
achieving people.
You tend to believe that ifyou're not overwhelmed, you're
(07:20):
not working hard enough, and sowhen you think about slowing
down or making a change, youfeel like you're going to lose
that momentum, you're going tolose everything that you've
worked for and you'll havenothing to show for it.
But here's where I want you toreframe.
You do not need to suffer toearn your success.
Think about what it feels likewhen you are working towards
(07:42):
something that you love, whenyou're working towards something
that feels really in alignmentfor you.
Think about the last time thatyou can remember feeling that
really fluid state, that stateof flow where everything feels
easy, it doesn't feel likethere's a lot of resistance,
it's not an uphill battle.
Whatever it is that you'reworking for, it feels like it's
(08:06):
the next right thing to do.
Do you feel overwhelmed inthose moments?
No, you feel in flow.
You feel that you're in theright place at the right time,
and those are the times where weget the most done.
Those are the times where wewalk away from a you know
(08:27):
brainstorming session that feelslike five minutes and realize
we've just spent hours on doinglike dumping out everything
that's been in our brains.
So I want you to think abouthow that goes against the very
idea that slowing down andmaking a change means that
you'll lose what you've workedfor.
How that flow state goesagainst the idea that peace
(08:52):
equals laziness or seekingalignment means that you're
ungrateful.
You do not need to beoverwhelmed to be working hard.
Sometimes the greatest momentsof hard work feel super easy,
and that's what we want to beworking for.
You do not need to suffer toearn fulfillment, to earn your
(09:12):
success.
And what's the third lie?
The third one is that otherpeople are just braver than I am
, and this one can be a littlebit sneaky, because we are all
scrolling on Instagram.
We are all seeing other peoplepivoting, saying no to things,
setting boundaries, and it lookseffortless, it looks easy, it
looks like they are just livingtheir best life, but I promise
(09:34):
you it is not.
They are practiced, notfearless.
Write that down, because thatis the goal that you are looking
for.
You don't need to be fearless.
You need to be practiced, justpracticed.
So instead of asking yourselfwhy am I so scared?
What if you asked yourself whatwould I do if I knew this fear
(09:56):
was a normal part of the process?
Then what Would you stop?
Would you just say other peoplemust be braver?
Would you just say, if I pivot,I'm going to lose everything?
Of course not.
You would figure out how tomove through this fear because
it's a normal part of theprocess and that's really a
great place to be normal part ofthe process and that's really a
(10:19):
great place to be Understandingthat.
Oh, this fear is just signalingthat there's something
important going on.
It's signaling that somethingmatters to me and I need to pay
attention right now.
That's where you want to be.
So how do we make this allhappen?
Right at the beginning of thisepisode, I told you I was going
to take you through three toolsthat are going to help you take
action through fear, and this isthe part that I want you to
(10:42):
really use.
Right, this is the part that isthe action.
What are the things you cantake away from this episode?
Well, here are three tools thatare going to help you to take
brave action, to take boldaction, because we know where
does our balance lie, where dowe find balance?
Where do we build balance?
Balance is built out of boldand brave action.
(11:06):
Even when your voice is shaking,even when your stomach is
flipping around, doing backflipsand those butterflies are going
crazy, even when you feel likethat, nauseous and anxiety,
those are the moments that youwant to move through the fear.
So the first tool I'm going toshare with you is the 90 day
rule.
So I want you to ask yourself,whatever it is that's causing
(11:30):
the fear, whatever it is that isgiving you pause, that you're
frozen.
Will it matter 90 days from now?
The reason for asking thatquestion is it really helps you
to zoom out.
It helps you see that most ofthe things that we're obsessing
over, they're not going tomatter in three months.
And if they do matter, that isyour signal to move through the
(11:54):
fear.
So the 90 day rule is important, because it's not in place to
give you the tools you need tomove through the fear.
We're going to get to that in asecond.
This is like the filter that youwant to put these moves through
.
If you're faced with a movethat is giving you fear, that's
(12:14):
giving you paralyzing moments ofdoubt, this is the filter to
put it through, because it'sgoing to help you recognize can
I just move on from this or do Iactually need to move through
the fear?
So, if it matters 90 days fromnow, yes, hell yes, you need to
move through that fear.
If it won't matter 90 days fromnow, can you just let it go?
(12:38):
Can you not focus on it?
Can you leave it behind?
And leaving things behind isprobably a whole other episode
that we need to get into,because that is a quality that I
want you to be building as well, like when we talk about
resilience.
That is where resilience lieswhen we're able to leave things
behind that don't matter andrecognize that.
(13:01):
Here's the filter that you canuse to actually figure that out.
The 90 day rule.
Okay.
The second tool are tiny bravemoves or tiny bold moves, and
the reason I say tiny is becauseI want you to stop waiting for
the big dramatic life overhaul,because when we are scared, when
(13:28):
we're sitting in fear, whenwe're sitting in a place that
feels paralyzing, what we feelis that there's this big
dramatic life overhaul that weneed to do, or this big dramatic
work overhaul, career overhaul,relationship overhaul.
What is the big dramaticoverhaul that you're avoiding
(13:49):
Doesn't matter.
That's not what we're workingon.
We want to start with one micromove, one little tiny, brave
and bold move.
So what could that potentiallylook like?
This is saying no to someonewithout over explaining.
You know we talk a lot aboutsetting boundaries and saying no
when we want to, and a lot ofpeople, when they start that
(14:12):
process, they do it.
They say no, but they say noand then follow it up with a
paragraph explaining why they'resaying no, excusing themselves
from saying no, excusingthemselves for disrupting the
other person that they're sayingno to or causing some
discomfort for that person.
So a tiny bold move would becan you say no to something
(14:34):
today without over explaining?
Bold move would be can you sayno to something today, without
over explaining.
You don't have to do that.
You are allowed to say no.
Another tiny, bold move would beto schedule the call with
someone.
Schedule the conversation withsomeone that you've been putting
off.
What is something that you knowis important, but there's a
little bit of fear, keeping youparalyzed and you're not moving
(14:55):
forward.
What is that conversation about?
Schedule it.
You don't have to have it today, you just have to schedule it.
And I promise you're going tofeel relief when you schedule it
.
You really will, because it'salmost like that comparison of
going to the gym where they say,like the hardest part is
putting on your sneakers.
(15:15):
This is the same thing.
Scheduling that call is goingto open up a part of your brain
that has been locked down, andwhen that part of your brain
lights up, you're going to havea boost of confidence.
I promise you this, even beforethe conversation happens.
Scheduling it is going to giveyou a boost of confidence.
(15:37):
And then, what's another tinymove that you can make?
How about taking one hour outof your life to work towards
something you've been puttingoff, so you don't have to set
aside a day?
You don't have to set aside aday.
You don't have to go on aretreat for a weekend.
Just set aside an hour.
What's something you have beenputting off?
This could be anything, guys.
Right, this doesn't have to bea huge life overhaul.
(15:58):
Maybe it's something thatyou've been trying to accomplish
at work, maybe it's somethingyou've been trying to get your
new business off the ground, andmaybe it's something as simple
as cleaning your kitchencabinets.
But taking one hour to worktowards that maybe the kitchen
cabinets isn't such a great idea, Because if you're afraid, if
(16:20):
that's bringing up fear, then weneed to talk a little bit more
about what's going on in yourkitchen cabinets.
But taking one hour to work onsomething you've been kind of
paralyzed around and you've beenputting off is going to give
you that boost of confidence.
Here's the thing Bravery is notloud, bravery is consistent.
(16:41):
So let's go back to how do wefind tap into that bravery?
It really is through tiny, boldand brave moves.
It just builds that muscle andbuilds that muscle.
And then the third tool I wantto share with you is something
called reverse visualization.
So you all know I love a visionboard.
(17:02):
I do them on my retreats everysingle year.
One of my favorite things aboutvision boards is when people
come to the retreats and theyactually bring their past vision
boards or send me pictures ofthe past vision boards year
after year, just seeing how theyhave brought things into their
life Amazing.
I'm a huge vision board fan and, what's even more powerful,
(17:26):
visualizing what happens ifnothing changes.
So this is a really powerfulexercise.
We spend plenty of time talkingabout okay, we want to bring
these things into our lives, wewant to create change, we want
to really experience things in adifferent way, so we sit down,
we make the vision board, wemake the plan, we put it on the
(17:48):
calendar, we create the actionsteps all around that Great.
Have you ever stopped, though,and, instead of doing that,
allowed yourself to sit andvisualize what happens if you do
nothing?
What happens if you don't setthe boundary?
What happens if you keepputting yourself last?
What happens if you are in thesame exact place that you are
(18:12):
today, this time next year?
How does that feel?
Because sometimes that lightsthe fire faster than anything
else.
So, if you feel like your fearis really gripping you and it's
uncomfortable enough that youare not able to move forward,
this is a great exercise tolight that fire.
Because let me tell you, ifyou're uncomfortable where you
(18:36):
are today, how much does it suckto imagine being there 365 days
from now because you chose todo nothing?
And let's get that straightSitting still is a choice.
So don't wake up a year fromnow in the same place and say I
just didn't know what to do, Ijust didn't know what direction
(18:57):
to go in.
Going in no direction is achoice, and when you choose that
, there are consequences, andthose consequences is that you
will be in the same exact placeor worse.
Maybe you'll be in a worseplace by doing nothing.
So, for those of you who aredoing all the things and still
(19:18):
finding it really difficult tomove through that fear, use this
reverse visualization Superpowerful.
So what is the thing that you'vebeen avoiding?
What is the decision that youkeep spinning on?
What is the move that you wantto make?
But you just don't have thefreaking guts to say it out loud
.
I want to give you thatpermission.
(19:39):
You are allowed to be scared.
You are allowed to move anyway.
That fear is not the stop sign.
Your balance requires yourboldness.
Your balance requires yourbravery.
It's not about being reckless,it's not about hustling.
It's just about being braveenough to say I'm allowed to
(20:00):
want more and I trust myselfenough to go get it.
I trust myself enough to go getit.
Do you trust yourself enough togo get it?
If you don't, there's work to doto make that your reality.
I promise you can get there,and if you're ready to actually
do that work, let's talk.
We can do that work in astructured, supportive way.
(20:30):
It does not have to beoverwhelming.
So I want you to check out theshow notes for this episode so
you can really write down thosethree tools.
You can practice them and, likeI said, become practiced in
being brave.
All of this is something youbuild.
Balance, bravery, boldness,those are things that you build,
not things you find.
So thank you again for hangingout with me today.
(20:52):
I want you to go do one bravething today, just one.
Can you do it?
I know you can Share it with me.
Send me a DM on Instagram.
Send me an email, jen, atjencodycom.
I want to hear from you.
I want to know what is thebrave thing that you are
committing to doing and what Iwould love to know even more.
How do you feel on the otherside of it.
(21:14):
That's where the magic happens.
So until next time, go outthere, create your day in the
best way possible.
Thank you so much for spendingtime with me.
Please do me a favor hit pause,go, leave a rating and a review
for the podcast.
It's how we reach more peopleand it's so, so important.
Take a screenshot.
If you do that, send it to me.
(21:34):
I will send you a free gift.
Thank you so much, guys.
Until next week, take care ofyourselves, take care of each
other, and I will see you nexttime on the next episode of the
Create your Day podcast.
Have a good one.
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