April 3, 2024 • 27 mins
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Have you ever found yourself trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, particularly in the workplace? Tami Chapek, an executive leadership coach and the founder of We Inspire We, joins me to unravel the complexities of staying true to oneself amid the pressures of conformity, especially as a woman in the cutthroat marketing and advertising industry. As we navigate the tricky terrain of blending personal identity with professional demands, Tami's revelations highlight the transformative power of authenticity, and how it fosters stronger connections within diverse teams.
Ever wondered about the social repercussions of defying traditional life milestones? Our heartfelt conversation shifts to the deeply personal, as Tami opens up about her experiences as a 45-year-old single woman without children. She sheds light on the societal expectations, implicit judgments, and the nuanced sense of belonging that come with singlehood and childlessness. Through her candid storytelling, listeners who share these experiences will find comfort and solidarity, and perhaps a new lens through which to view their own journeys.
Bringing our chat to a close, we emphasize the ever-growing importance of digital networking as Tami extends an invitation to continue this dialogue through social media platforms, solidifying her commitment to community building and professional camaraderie. It's more than just a discussion; it's an open door to a tribe where every listener can find support, inspiration, and perhaps their own voice in the chorus of leadership and self-discovery. Join us, as we share, learn, and grow together.
You can order your copy of Creating Belonging on Amazon.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Justin (00:08):
Hello and welcome to another episode of the Creating
Belonging podcast.
Today, I have with me TamiChapek.
Tami, would you mindintroducing yourself to everyone
?
Tami (00:20):
Hi, so happy to be here.
Thanks for having me, justin.
As you mentioned, my name'sTami, I am an executive
leadership coach and I startedmy business we inspire we about
six and a half years ago, whichis crazy to say out loud, and I
started it because I really sawmy passion and purpose kind of
coming together and supportingother people to grow.
Justin (00:39):
Typically, we like to discuss just any identities that
you want to disclose ahead ofour conversations.
That may add context to ourconversation.
What might you want to sharetoday?
Tami (00:49):
Coming into this, there's a lot of options to dig into on
a lot of identities that I'vehad to really grapple with over
the past.
One thing that I think justorganically comes out of the
work that I do is being a femaleleader in a white, male
dominated space, and I'll sharea little bit of my backstory and
(01:10):
what led me into the businessthat I have today.
But the high, high level of itis.
I grew up in marketing andadvertising and I had all male
bosses.
So as I went from junioremployee, junior box nothing
stepping into the business worldand even into, you know, my, my
highest role before I steppedout of corporate was in, was a
(01:30):
vice president, and I virtuallythe entire time had male bosses.
I had a couple of female bosses,but across the board they, I
would say, replicated a lot ofmasculine and male behaviors.
I found myself doing that as ayoung person, not consciously,
really kind of masking my valuesand who I was and how I was
showing up without realizing it,and it did not work, did not
(01:53):
help me.
So I had to really figure out alot of that stuff of how do I
do myself, what does that reallylook like and how do I become a
great leader that's authenticto me and really stepping into
who I am and what I can deliverto the world, and that then led
to me saying I want to help it,help other people find this way
faster and not have to have asmany hiccups or riddles along
(02:14):
the way that I had to go through.
Justin (02:16):
Okay, good, so female in a male-dominated industry.
Any other identities that youmight want to throw in?
Tami (02:23):
Yeah, I mean, I think, yeah, I can break it down a lot,
you know, on the personal sideof the house.
So one thing that still isglaring to me and something I
grapple with, especially aroundthe Christmas, new Year season,
and I don't know why that timeof year is the hardest.
But you know, I'm 45 years oldand I'm single and I've never
been married, no kids, and Ifeel I get a lot of judgment and
(02:43):
a lot of questions about thatand a lot of what's wrong with
you, what you know.
Why haven't you found a partner?
Because society says we shouldbe partnered off, we shouldn't
have families, we should be, youknow, married, whatever the
thing is, and I don't fit intothat world at all.
It's a lot of different reasonsI can also layer into there, you
know I you know that singlenesscascades into my relationship
(03:05):
with my family.
Again, I'm married off, allhave children, and so then I'm
this, this weird outlier, I turnit into being the fun aunt,
right, which is great, but youknow, I am often the odd person
out in many situations.
I think I can just layer intothat even more, into family,
right, I have a very religiousfamily and I would say I'm a
(03:27):
spiritual person, and so there'ssome some lack of belonging and
connectivity there.
And I could go on and on and onright, but those are the some
that jump right out at me at thebeginning.
Justin (03:37):
Okay, awesome.
So that gives us a lot to workwith today and we'll see.
We'll see if we can not gothree hours.
So let's go back to the, thefirst piece that you were
talking about.
You know your business and weinspire we, you know.
I want to dig in a little bitthere and kind of talk about you
know belonging, the role ofbelonging in your background,
(03:58):
and then how that, how thatinforms the work that you do
today.
Tami (04:01):
Yeah, as I mentioned, you know, when I was growing up in
in that business world, withoutrealizing it, I just I merely
did the behaviors of the peoplearound me.
And so my favorite example andhe is still a very close
personal friend to this day, buta boss I had was a first
generation Italian who grew upin New Jersey.
So we had this very strong,dominant, bold personality and
(04:28):
for him it worked right and hewas very authoritative and was
very senior in his career.
And you know, maybe it didn'tflow or people loved him, people
hated him.
There was no no in between,right, but I found myself
starting to emulate some of hisbehaviors as a young white
female, right and without, youknow, without all those years of
experience and without thoseethnic roots.
(04:50):
And I got my hands slapped Likewhat are you doing?
You're too aggressive, tooassertive, and you know women
talk about this a lot.
It's called the double bind,but there's this, the two factor
that comes in.
You're too much of these thingswhere other people might not be
judged for it.
But you know, that was one ofthe first times I realized and
it probably was 27, maybe that Irealized that, gosh, I can't
(05:14):
act like that and that's notworking.
Well, what does work?
And it led me down this wholepath of self discovery who am I,
what do I have to offer, whatare those things that are often
taken true to me and what are myvalues?
What do I really appreciate andwhat is meaningful to me in
life?
And start to put those piecesof the puzzle together.
Certainly there was trial anderror, if you're out what stuck,
(05:39):
what didn't, what worked, whatdidn't and then what still
needed to be massaged.
But that was probably the firsttime I realized that I was not
behaving like me as a person,but a behavior that I thought I
should have, and that disconnectreally kept me out of being
successful and kind of havingthat like sense of belonging in
a leadership role.
Justin (05:58):
Yeah.
So I'd love to dig in a littlebit on the authenticity side.
You know we in in the blockcreating only model, we have
authenticity, acceptance blowingcreated at the middle of those.
So yeah, your journey wasreally kind of finding yourself
outside, of emulating what youthought was just good leadership
behavior.
I want to talk about that alittle bit more so, like Just
(06:20):
tell me a little bit more aboutthat process.
I know you've done a lot ofreflection on that journey.
Tami (06:25):
Yeah, you know it's many, many years in the making and
it's hard to summarize, but thisis really the basis of what I
do every day now in my businessis helping people uncover what
it is that they have, thatspecial, unique to them.
What are your natural strengthsand tendencies and gifts and
talents and, truly, what areyour values?
Right, what are those thingsthat motivated you, like you,
(06:47):
kind of your North Star, thatallow you to wake up and show up
every day and Really shining alighter, raising awareness to
those things.
And once you have that, thenyou have the decision of saying,
okay, what do I do with this?
And I, you know, I joke with myclients a lot awareness is half
the battle.
I get like, once you know whatyou've got, then you can be able
(07:07):
to do with them.
But if you don't know, you'restarting, you know At zero,
you've got nothing to reallypull out for yourself.
And so that was a huge part ofmy process was figure Okay, what
am I going to do that?
What do I like doing?
What are those things that giveme joy and and satisfaction and
fulfillment?
What are the things that I'mgood at?
And also, analyzing even if I'mgood at it, do I like doing it,
(07:28):
because there's a disconnectthere sometimes too, right, and
you know values I think is sucha broad word that we don't
always understand but it youknow really getting into.
What are those things thatmatter most to me?
And I'm very relationshiporiented, like highly connected
person, and I don't mean that byway of like Networking
connections, right.
I mean it by way of likeconnect, connected to the heart,
(07:48):
to the inner person, right.
I really believe that you knowrelationships and people are
really what makes the world goaround it.
As I was walking into thosehigher and higher roles, I was
just focused on the work.
This is the stuff that has togo out the door and kind of
putting Relationships and theconnections to people to the
wayside, almost dismissing thehumanity of it, because it was
(08:09):
about like getting the work done.
So I know I'm talking incircles a little bit here, but
the end of the story, right, islike the realization of those
things and where I was missingand then starting, if you got,
how to integrate it back in andEmbrace that for who I am and
use that as a way, even if it'sdifferent than my leaders around
me, as a way to help bring thebest out of people Still have
(08:31):
great results from a workperspective.
Justin (08:33):
But finding the balance between those things and then if
you were to contrast like thenthinking about your sense of
belonging Early and on, when youwere emulating others and
weren't really, you know, inyour authentic self, versus when
you really had leaned into andsettled into your authenticity,
(08:54):
like, contrast your sense ofbelonging between those two
periods?
Tami (08:59):
Yeah, it's a great question and I would say, like
my friend got instinctive to sayto you, right, like in those
early days when I was emulatingothers behaviors, I belonged in
that club.
I belonged with those I leadersthat I was emulating, like they
accepted me as one of their own.
It was just replicating whatthey did.
And there's, you know, allhuman psychology people that we
(09:21):
liked, you know, we want to workwith and do similar things,
right.
So that became a very closeknit and tight group and so this
day I'm still friends with allthree of those bosses that I had
at that time, right.
So I had this really strongsense of belonging with them.
But it was in opposition toeverybody else, in opposition to
all the people that I workedwith and I was in a cross
(09:42):
functional matrix kind of rolewhere I was working with people
in my function and you know,creative functions and finance
and accounting functions, likeall across the board, and if you
think about differentpersonalities, different
motivators and intrinsic values,we're very different.
So I was excluded from fittingin and belonging into those
groups.
So there was this huge tensionthat happened there.
(10:04):
So, over time, realizing thattension and disconnect and those
things weren't coming togetherand having to kind of step more
into my authentic self and ownit allowed me to belong and have
a sense of acceptance acrossall of those groups.
Maybe not a hundred percent inevery capacity, but with that
acceptance of self andacceptance of others right, it
(10:25):
really started to click and cometogether.
Justin (10:27):
Yeah, okay.
So something hit me and Ihaven't thought of this from
this angle yet in all of thework of creating the logging and
I know you're familiar with themodel but like would you say
that in that time then, when youwere emulating these other
leaders but still then kind ofexcluded from everybody else
because you were in this likeexclusive club, that sounds to
(10:48):
me actually like minimizing,because you're like hovering up
and putting on this other facade, and so there was like this
fake belonging that happened,but really you were sitting and
minimizing.
That's what I was like, that'swhat I had the picture that what
would you say?
Tami (11:05):
Yeah, it's interesting, right, because I think there's
probably a lot of truth to that.
It probably was withoutrealizing, right.
But I also say I also think youknow, and one of the things you
call it in your book and thefluidity of the model, right,
like there are parts of me thatbehavior I emulated, there were
parts of me that embraced that,that are that directive of sort
(11:26):
of get the work done right forresults.
Like there are parts of me thatthat's very natural too.
So, even though I was emulatingtheir behavior, there still
wasn't a disconnect fromcomponents of me, it wasn't a
sneak from the purity or thefull sense of my values and who
I am.
Does that, does that make sense?
Justin (11:48):
Yeah, well, it's kind of like wait, I just thought of
like the worst analogy.
So I was just watching thiscooking video the other day and
they were like it was that, ohmy gosh, Ethan Chamblowski,
something like that on YouTubeand he does all these like
science videos of like I swearthis is gonna have a point.
I've seen videos of like thescience behind food and so he
(12:09):
was doing this one with garlicand like what's better?
Fresh garlic or like choppedgarlic in a jar or granulated
garlic or you know, dried, dicedgarlic, and what you're
thinking we think of is how,like the moral of the story is
fresh whole garlic is always thebest, no matter what.
(12:30):
But actually, like dried mincedgarlic or powdered garlic isn't
bad.
Like jar garlic, throw it out.
But like then dried garlic is abad, but the issue with it is
because it's been processed.
It's like only one dimension offlavor.
Yeah, those two, all thedimensions you're getting, girl.
(12:52):
Yes, so I have to say that likeyou were like the dried mint,
burk and Tami right, like youwere something that was still
natural to you, but it was likeemphasized one dimension of you
and not a step you.
Tami (13:07):
Yes, I think that's a wonderful analogy and that's
true.
Right, it was a component of me.
Right, it wasn't talent, askill right that I had, but it
wasn't the best version of it orthe fullest version of it.
Right, it was a dirt.
Justin (13:24):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I think it's a beautiful metaphor
and like, if you really want tolike, maybe I'll link to the
episode.
It's like a 20 minute episodeon garlic week, but no, that
makes sense.
So, like you weren'tnecessarily you were, you were
partially minimizing.
You were minimizing some ofyour stuff, but there was some
that like it wasn't.
You weren't acting out ofcomplete unnatural, you just
(13:46):
found this piece inside of youthat actually fit and worked,
but you didn't get to use therest of it.
Tami (13:51):
Yeah, that's like Like you meant, yeah, and Bear with me
on this and certainly challengethe way I'm setting this up,
right, but it's almost like withthat group of leaders.
That component became the senseof belonging with them and that
was the only thing that wasfocused on or emphasized.
So everything else wasminimized everywhere else, right
?
So it's a blend of these things.
The minimization, right, iswhat kept me from truly
(14:13):
belonging in the rest of yeah,the rest of the audience around.
Justin (14:18):
Yeah, I love that.
Yeah, so that's, I like thatand that's just like an example
of, I think the moral of thestory is whole fresh garlic is
the bath.
Wow, this is ridiculous.
We are full authentic self, youknow.
Granted, we've got to balancethat with good, you know,
radical acceptance of others,but I love that.
(14:40):
Okay, I want to switch gearsbecause there is a subject that
you mentioned that I don't thinkwe've talked about, like we
haven't talked a lot aboutRelationships.
I think one episode this seasonwe've dipped into very surface
relationship.
But you had mentioned, you know, single woman, 45.
(15:01):
You said your age, so it's true,it's me on it, on it and and so
there that impacts yourbelonging in different groups,
in different places.
I would love to explore thatand just understand a little bit
more.
Tami (15:15):
Yeah, can't it be in every Dynamic I can't think of one
word doesn't come into play andI'm gonna think a little harder
on it, but it's a.
It's Separates me from, I'mdifferent from most in most
situations.
Right when I look at my familyParrot, siblings everyone's
(15:36):
married, everyone has children,right, so there's there's a
disconnect for me.
When I look at my group offriends and this has changed
over the years right when I wasin my 20s I wasn't an anomaly.
Now that I'm in my 40s, I amkind of an anomaly.
Very few friends like and putin the same bucket as me.
But you know, everyone'smarried or has children or both,
(15:57):
right, so there's a separationthere and that plays into you
know how you manage your dailylives, how you, where you show
up, what your interests are,your, your priorities, your
flexibility, you everythingchanges when you have other
things in the mix.
She was up at work.
You know, back when I was incorporate America in particular,
(16:17):
I would carry a lot of guiltthat I've had to work later to
compensate for my married or andor Parented friends or
colleagues, right, because theyneeded to go home and take care
of the rest of their life.
I didn't have anything waitingfor me.
Therefore, I should pick up theslack, and I know not alone and
that I've talked to a lot ofSingle people who feel the same
(16:37):
way and carrying this aroundwith them.
So I just think that there'sthere's so many legs to it.
You know, I meet people for thefirst time and that's one of
the first questions they askregarding those of who they are
right like.
Well, tell me about your familywhen my mom's right?
You know, I don't think that'swhat they're really asking.
So it is.
It is a big disconnect and Idon't know that it's always
limiting, right, but it's very.
(16:57):
I am very different than mostpeople, especially in the age
category.
Justin (17:02):
Yeah, it's interesting to think about.
It's something that so IForever, up until seven years
ago, identified as like thesingle professional.
And it's weird now to thinklike, oh wow, I've been in a
relationship now for seven years.
So like I'm not about that sameperson, but I totally remember,
like being in my 30s and thisisn't a Gender remark
(17:23):
necessarily, other than statedfact of the specific incidents
Like I worked with a lot ofsenior leaders male senior
leaders who had wives who didn'twork, yeah, and like I found
myself stressed out because,like I don't have time to pick
up my dry cleaning.
Like I would be working 12 plushour days and they had their
(17:43):
lunches ready from theirstay-at-home partner.
They had their laundry takencare of from their stay-at-home
partner.
I'm like, when I get to dolaundry, like and nobody's doing
this me, and not that we needsomeone to be at home doing
those things, but that wassomething that I remember from
from those days.
Tami (18:01):
Yeah, support system right , you have they.
There's a go-to person, yourlife.
And certainly don't get mewrong I'm not saying that being
in a relationship means thatyour world is a perfect break,
because I know there's othergood luck, these they come into
it too right.
But you know there's a wholesupport system and a whole other
set of priorities and a wholeset of roles that get tied to
people on and in thoseCategories, whereas being a
(18:23):
single person, those aren'tthere and so then you know,
society kind of says there'ssomething wrong with you if
you're not in one of thoseplaces.
It's hard to not feel that wayfrom time to time when you have
other people around you and Ican't tell you how many times
I've been asked the question sowhy are you still single?
It really almost as if like,what am I doing wrong?
You know, I don't know.
(18:43):
You tell me it's like I'm stillsingle.
Justin (18:46):
Yeah, it's set.
There's so much judgment inthere of light.
I, yeah, but that's a weirdquestion.
I've never asked that.
I don't think I've ever askedthat because, because I
identified as like a Perpetualsingle person for so long, I
hope that I would never skip it.
Tami (19:02):
Yeah, Well, and I think people Best intentions right.
I don't think people need youand that's degrading, but it
does come across as like I don'tknow.
You tell me this can be reallyoff-putting.
Justin (19:12):
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
And you know the other piece,the other dimension of that, I
think relationships and kind ofI would broaden it to say like
none Sis-Hadera relationshipswhere, like you know, when you
don't have kids, like I don'tnever had kids, I will never
have kids, like there's alsothat dimension and different
expectation, right Like there'sthat guilt of like you should
(19:33):
work later because you don'thave kids.
So, even if you're in arelationship, so it's like the
relationship and it's a parentalstatus that othered a bit.
Tami (19:43):
Totally.
And even, you know, I remembermy long-stagiancy job.
You know I had just gotten adog for the first time and that
was like all of a sudden I havea reason to leave.
When the office there I wassomething waiting for me, you
know, and it kind of releasedsome of that guilt that I had
inadvertently been carryingaround of like, well, they have
(20:03):
to go into their kids, so theyhave to go home and take their
kids to soccer or whatever thething is right like.
So all of a sudden, now I havethis other responsibility.
I don't know, it was just likethis interesting shift for me.
So, having that, you know,being in this silo, this world
where you don't have thosethings, you can carry a lot of
other things, other pressures onyou that the people don't
realize.
Justin (20:23):
Yeah, I, because this is the first time we're discussing
this topic like broadly on thepodcast.
I'm curious how you know ifthere's people who are listening
who are like oh my gosh, Itotally get this, Tammi.
Like I'm in that seat too.
Like how have you positivelymanaged that in the past, have I
(20:45):
?
Tami (20:46):
like there's an assumption that I have well, there's a
couple things and I think youknow, depending on your
attention of the question, right, how they manage it for myself,
a million sanity, right andpsychological safety, how
they're doing with other peopleto help educate and maybe bring
them along in a different way,right?
So do you intend well, theother or the other of those?
Justin (21:06):
thoughts are great.
Tami (21:07):
Yeah.
So for me, you know, I thinkthe big thing is around false.
You know, self acceptance,right and sorry.
He's seen my, my dog, so I'dhave to accept and believe that
I am an amazing person, right,like there's nothing wrong with
me.
I just haven't found somebodythat I want to send time with in
that capacity.
And then and I Openly I willtell you many years I didn't
even try.
(21:27):
I was still worked up withfocus on work, focus on other
priorities.
It just wasn't a big thing forme, it was deep prioritized and
that led to where I am today.
So part of it is trueacceptance of this is my
situation.
This is where I am and I amjust fine and I am whole,
without that other side of thehouse.
(21:48):
When it comes to the outsideperceptions, that's where it
gets hard.
That's why I always feel likeholidays are a hard time because
there's a lot of less familyget together.
Let's have coupled off things.
I spent years with my brotherand a bunch of his married
friends this year being thesingle person, odd man out, and
so I had to like height myselfup going into it, like there,
(22:11):
I'm fine, it's fine, we're alljust people, and really kind of
separate some of those thingsout.
So I think the big thing islike your mental state and
acceptance of where you are andknowing, like, if you desire to
be in a relationship, great,taking actions toward that, but
acceptance of the place that youare today, person, most is
number one.
And then, you know, it comes topeople on kind of putting that
(22:32):
pressure on you and asking thosekinds of questions like why are
you still single?
You know, I find that two thingsI need to do, two things to be
successful.
And that one is truly believethey have best intentions, right
, like they believe that that'sthe best way for them to be
happy there, for their shiningthat light on me in the same way
, right, maybe it's the case,maybe it's not the case, but I
(22:53):
need to believe that to havethat same kind of open
relationship and connection withthem and not feel judged by
them, I need to have bestassumptions, kind of walking
into it.
And then I do believe thatthere's a time to you know kind
of educate and share perspectiveon why those kinds of questions
maybe aren't most productive.
And so I've had people ask melike, well, why are you still
single?
And you know posing back.
(23:15):
You know thought for brokenquestions like well, you know.
Again you tell me what do you,what do you see?
And that's a really quick wayto get people uncomfortable.
Justin (23:23):
Now, why aren't you single?
Tami (23:25):
Yeah, right, or or what's the harm in being single?
You know, I'm just kind ofputting back questions of people
to get them to think like gosh.
Maybe that didn't come acrosswith my intentions or the way
that I meant to.
Yeah, you know, I had someonerecently asked me about you know
, my dating or I see anybody,and you know I asked back like
you know, basically like what is?
(23:45):
Why is it you believe thatpeople need to be in a coupled
off relationship?
I just kind of put it back tothem and so you know, it's not.
I don't mean it in a degradingway, but I mean it in a way to
educate, like gosh, there areother ways to live your life
than the way that you do.
Justin (23:59):
Yeah, yeah.
So and I love the first pointof just the self acceptance,
like how do you feel about it?
Are you okay with it?
Like, accept it, like here'swhere I am, and then you can be
much more comfortable in beingauthentic with it and then
engaging those conversations oflike well, why aren't you single
?
I kind of love that, like Ihave fun.
(24:20):
Whatever, leave me alone.
Tami (24:22):
Right.
My favorite is when my sisterwould ask questions like that
when she was younger and shewould talk about her children
and point out the wrinkles onher foreheads like that.
Justin (24:30):
Yes, yes, and you know the family thing, you know
what's interesting.
You just made me think ofsomething explicitly and I think
I've thought about but like asmy younger, like single,
perpetual single self, likefamily stuff, like I moved away
from my family they're all stillin Iowa and like the
expectation is for holidays, forall of that, like you just come
(24:51):
home, like what, what else doyou have to do?
Like you're a single, yourmobile we all have appendages
that we need to care for.
And Now, being in arelationship and it's been more
in the past recent few yearsthat there's just now, like
Justin's past, some things, solike there's actually other
things and now like it, with theodd thing is it in a
(25:15):
Counterintuitively gives me alittle more agency over my life
compared to family.
Yes, Because even excuse, Idon't know, it's just weird.
Tami (25:25):
No, I.
There have been years where Ihave not been so inclined to
come home For specific holidaysfor various reasons going on a
trip or doing something formyself and I've gotten a lot of
backlash from my family on that,like why are you here?
You need to be here.
This type of family and yourlack of understanding of there
are other things you knowoutside of their perception of
(25:48):
what needs to happen in my world.
Justin (25:50):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's so much there.
Families play challenging.
Well, Tami, thank you so muchfor joining me on the podcast.
I love the conversation.
We got a little bit ofProfessional stuff, we got a
little bit of personal stuff andI love all of it.
Comes back to that authenticityof you know on the you know,
understanding that our our full,fresh garlic cells and then
(26:14):
being comfortable with kind ofwho we are in our situation and
being able to navigate ourspaces in that way.
So I love it.
Tami, thank you so much.
I'll make sure that I providesome links so people can find
you, connect with you.
But is there anything that youwould like to share before we
close out About how people canfind you or anything you want
people to know about you?
Tami (26:33):
Yeah, I mean, I think the the Recap I'd love to share just
around authenticity, right, isit so important to know who you
are, who are today, but also whoyou want to be?
Right, there's always thataspirational side of the house
where we want to know how wewant to grow and continue to
evolve as a person.
And you know, I, especially asI think about that the corporate
me and as I was growing andtrying to figure out how to be
(26:54):
an authentic leader, you knowthat took time and that took
practice and kind of figuringout like how do I show up, how
do I lean into these things thatare most important to me, etc.
So so I just kind of want tocaveat that right like it's, it
is self-acceptance and it isunderstanding of who you are,
but there's still room forgrowth and kind of just keep him
keeping and down as well.
Okay, so how to find me?
(27:17):
And please reach out.
Reach out to me on LinkedIn orInstagram or Facebook or
whatever.
I would be happy to connect mycompanies, we inspire, we and my
name is Tami Chapek and thoseare easy, easy Googles, because
there's not a lot of them outthere.
Justin (27:28):
Awesome.
Thank you so much, Tami andeveryone else.
Join us again for anotherepisode of creating one you
podcast.
See you soon.
Hello and welcome to another episode of the Creating
Belonging podcast.
Today, I have with me TamiChapek.
Tami, would you mindintroducing yourself to everyone
?
Tami (00:20):
Hi, so happy to be here.
Thanks for having me, justin.
As you mentioned, my name'sTami, I am an executive
leadership coach and I startedmy business we inspire we about
six and a half years ago, whichis crazy to say out loud, and I
started it because I really sawmy passion and purpose kind of
coming together and supportingother people to grow.
Justin (00:39):
Typically, we like to discuss just any identities that
you want to disclose ahead ofour conversations.
That may add context to ourconversation.
What might you want to sharetoday?
Tami (00:49):
Coming into this, there's a lot of options to dig into on
a lot of identities that I'vehad to really grapple with over
the past.
One thing that I think justorganically comes out of the
work that I do is being a femaleleader in a white, male
dominated space, and I'll sharea little bit of my backstory and
(01:10):
what led me into the businessthat I have today.
But the high, high level of itis.
I grew up in marketing andadvertising and I had all male
bosses.
So as I went from junioremployee, junior box nothing
stepping into the business worldand even into, you know, my, my
highest role before I steppedout of corporate was in, was a
(01:30):
vice president, and I virtuallythe entire time had male bosses.
I had a couple of female bosses,but across the board they, I
would say, replicated a lot ofmasculine and male behaviors.
I found myself doing that as ayoung person, not consciously,
really kind of masking my valuesand who I was and how I was
showing up without realizing it,and it did not work, did not
(01:53):
help me.
So I had to really figure out alot of that stuff of how do I
do myself, what does that reallylook like and how do I become a
great leader that's authenticto me and really stepping into
who I am and what I can deliverto the world, and that then led
to me saying I want to help it,help other people find this way
faster and not have to have asmany hiccups or riddles along
(02:14):
the way that I had to go through.
Justin (02:16):
Okay, good, so female in a male-dominated industry.
Any other identities that youmight want to throw in?
Tami (02:23):
Yeah, I mean, I think, yeah, I can break it down a lot,
you know, on the personal sideof the house.
So one thing that still isglaring to me and something I
grapple with, especially aroundthe Christmas, new Year season,
and I don't know why that timeof year is the hardest.
But you know, I'm 45 years oldand I'm single and I've never
been married, no kids, and Ifeel I get a lot of judgment and
(02:43):
a lot of questions about thatand a lot of what's wrong with
you, what you know.
Why haven't you found a partner?
Because society says we shouldbe partnered off, we shouldn't
have families, we should be, youknow, married, whatever the
thing is, and I don't fit intothat world at all.
It's a lot of different reasonsI can also layer into there, you
know I you know that singlenesscascades into my relationship
(03:05):
with my family.
Again, I'm married off, allhave children, and so then I'm
this, this weird outlier, I turnit into being the fun aunt,
right, which is great, but youknow, I am often the odd person
out in many situations.
I think I can just layer intothat even more, into family,
right, I have a very religiousfamily and I would say I'm a
(03:27):
spiritual person, and so there'ssome some lack of belonging and
connectivity there.
And I could go on and on and onright, but those are the some
that jump right out at me at thebeginning.
Justin (03:37):
Okay, awesome.
So that gives us a lot to workwith today and we'll see.
We'll see if we can not gothree hours.
So let's go back to the, thefirst piece that you were
talking about.
You know your business and weinspire we, you know.
I want to dig in a little bitthere and kind of talk about you
know belonging, the role ofbelonging in your background,
(03:58):
and then how that, how thatinforms the work that you do
today.
Tami (04:01):
Yeah, as I mentioned, you know, when I was growing up in
in that business world, withoutrealizing it, I just I merely
did the behaviors of the peoplearound me.
And so my favorite example andhe is still a very close
personal friend to this day, buta boss I had was a first
generation Italian who grew upin New Jersey.
So we had this very strong,dominant, bold personality and
(04:28):
for him it worked right and hewas very authoritative and was
very senior in his career.
And you know, maybe it didn'tflow or people loved him, people
hated him.
There was no no in between,right, but I found myself
starting to emulate some of hisbehaviors as a young white
female, right and without, youknow, without all those years of
experience and without thoseethnic roots.
(04:50):
And I got my hands slapped Likewhat are you doing?
You're too aggressive, tooassertive, and you know women
talk about this a lot.
It's called the double bind,but there's this, the two factor
that comes in.
You're too much of these thingswhere other people might not be
judged for it.
But you know, that was one ofthe first times I realized and
it probably was 27, maybe that Irealized that, gosh, I can't
(05:14):
act like that and that's notworking.
Well, what does work?
And it led me down this wholepath of self discovery who am I,
what do I have to offer, whatare those things that are often
taken true to me and what are myvalues?
What do I really appreciate andwhat is meaningful to me in
life?
And start to put those piecesof the puzzle together.
Certainly there was trial anderror, if you're out what stuck,
(05:39):
what didn't, what worked, whatdidn't and then what still
needed to be massaged.
But that was probably the firsttime I realized that I was not
behaving like me as a person,but a behavior that I thought I
should have, and that disconnectreally kept me out of being
successful and kind of havingthat like sense of belonging in
a leadership role.
Justin (05:58):
Yeah.
So I'd love to dig in a littlebit on the authenticity side.
You know we in in the blockcreating only model, we have
authenticity, acceptance blowingcreated at the middle of those.
So yeah, your journey wasreally kind of finding yourself
outside, of emulating what youthought was just good leadership
behavior.
I want to talk about that alittle bit more so, like Just
(06:20):
tell me a little bit more aboutthat process.
I know you've done a lot ofreflection on that journey.
Tami (06:25):
Yeah, you know it's many, many years in the making and
it's hard to summarize, but thisis really the basis of what I
do every day now in my businessis helping people uncover what
it is that they have, thatspecial, unique to them.
What are your natural strengthsand tendencies and gifts and
talents and, truly, what areyour values?
Right, what are those thingsthat motivated you, like you,
(06:47):
kind of your North Star, thatallow you to wake up and show up
every day and Really shining alighter, raising awareness to
those things.
And once you have that, thenyou have the decision of saying,
okay, what do I do with this?
And I, you know, I joke with myclients a lot awareness is half
the battle.
I get like, once you know whatyou've got, then you can be able
(07:07):
to do with them.
But if you don't know, you'restarting, you know At zero,
you've got nothing to reallypull out for yourself.
And so that was a huge part ofmy process was figure Okay, what
am I going to do that?
What do I like doing?
What are those things that giveme joy and and satisfaction and
fulfillment?
What are the things that I'mgood at?
And also, analyzing even if I'mgood at it, do I like doing it,
(07:28):
because there's a disconnectthere sometimes too, right, and
you know values I think is sucha broad word that we don't
always understand but it youknow really getting into.
What are those things thatmatter most to me?
And I'm very relationshiporiented, like highly connected
person, and I don't mean that byway of like Networking
connections, right.
I mean it by way of likeconnect, connected to the heart,
(07:48):
to the inner person, right.
I really believe that you knowrelationships and people are
really what makes the world goaround it.
As I was walking into thosehigher and higher roles, I was
just focused on the work.
This is the stuff that has togo out the door and kind of
putting Relationships and theconnections to people to the
wayside, almost dismissing thehumanity of it, because it was
(08:09):
about like getting the work done.
So I know I'm talking incircles a little bit here, but
the end of the story, right, islike the realization of those
things and where I was missingand then starting, if you got,
how to integrate it back in andEmbrace that for who I am and
use that as a way, even if it'sdifferent than my leaders around
me, as a way to help bring thebest out of people Still have
(08:31):
great results from a workperspective.
Justin (08:33):
But finding the balance between those things and then if
you were to contrast like thenthinking about your sense of
belonging Early and on, when youwere emulating others and
weren't really, you know, inyour authentic self, versus when
you really had leaned into andsettled into your authenticity,
(08:54):
like, contrast your sense ofbelonging between those two
periods?
Tami (08:59):
Yeah, it's a great question and I would say, like
my friend got instinctive to sayto you, right, like in those
early days when I was emulatingothers behaviors, I belonged in
that club.
I belonged with those I leadersthat I was emulating, like they
accepted me as one of their own.
It was just replicating whatthey did.
And there's, you know, allhuman psychology people that we
(09:21):
liked, you know, we want to workwith and do similar things,
right.
So that became a very closeknit and tight group and so this
day I'm still friends with allthree of those bosses that I had
at that time, right.
So I had this really strongsense of belonging with them.
But it was in opposition toeverybody else, in opposition to
all the people that I workedwith and I was in a cross
(09:42):
functional matrix kind of rolewhere I was working with people
in my function and you know,creative functions and finance
and accounting functions, likeall across the board, and if you
think about differentpersonalities, different
motivators and intrinsic values,we're very different.
So I was excluded from fittingin and belonging into those
groups.
So there was this huge tensionthat happened there.
(10:04):
So, over time, realizing thattension and disconnect and those
things weren't coming togetherand having to kind of step more
into my authentic self and ownit allowed me to belong and have
a sense of acceptance acrossall of those groups.
Maybe not a hundred percent inevery capacity, but with that
acceptance of self andacceptance of others right, it
(10:25):
really started to click and cometogether.
Justin (10:27):
Yeah, okay.
So something hit me and Ihaven't thought of this from
this angle yet in all of thework of creating the logging and
I know you're familiar with themodel but like would you say
that in that time then, when youwere emulating these other
leaders but still then kind ofexcluded from everybody else
because you were in this likeexclusive club, that sounds to
(10:48):
me actually like minimizing,because you're like hovering up
and putting on this other facade, and so there was like this
fake belonging that happened,but really you were sitting and
minimizing.
That's what I was like, that'swhat I had the picture that what
would you say?
Tami (11:05):
Yeah, it's interesting, right, because I think there's
probably a lot of truth to that.
It probably was withoutrealizing, right.
But I also say I also think youknow, and one of the things you
call it in your book and thefluidity of the model, right,
like there are parts of me thatbehavior I emulated, there were
parts of me that embraced that,that are that directive of sort
(11:26):
of get the work done right forresults.
Like there are parts of me thatthat's very natural too.
So, even though I was emulatingtheir behavior, there still
wasn't a disconnect fromcomponents of me, it wasn't a
sneak from the purity or thefull sense of my values and who
I am.
Does that, does that make sense?
Justin (11:48):
Yeah, well, it's kind of like wait, I just thought of
like the worst analogy.
So I was just watching thiscooking video the other day and
they were like it was that, ohmy gosh, Ethan Chamblowski,
something like that on YouTubeand he does all these like
science videos of like I swearthis is gonna have a point.
I've seen videos of like thescience behind food and so he
(12:09):
was doing this one with garlicand like what's better?
Fresh garlic or like choppedgarlic in a jar or granulated
garlic or you know, dried, dicedgarlic, and what you're
thinking we think of is how,like the moral of the story is
fresh whole garlic is always thebest, no matter what.
(12:30):
But actually, like dried mincedgarlic or powdered garlic isn't
bad.
Like jar garlic, throw it out.
But like then dried garlic is abad, but the issue with it is
because it's been processed.
It's like only one dimension offlavor.
Yeah, those two, all thedimensions you're getting, girl.
(12:52):
Yes, so I have to say that likeyou were like the dried mint,
burk and Tami right, like youwere something that was still
natural to you, but it was likeemphasized one dimension of you
and not a step you.
Tami (13:07):
Yes, I think that's a wonderful analogy and that's
true.
Right, it was a component of me.
Right, it wasn't talent, askill right that I had, but it
wasn't the best version of it orthe fullest version of it.
Right, it was a dirt.
Justin (13:24):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I think it's a beautiful metaphor
and like, if you really want tolike, maybe I'll link to the
episode.
It's like a 20 minute episodeon garlic week, but no, that
makes sense.
So, like you weren'tnecessarily you were, you were
partially minimizing.
You were minimizing some ofyour stuff, but there was some
that like it wasn't.
You weren't acting out ofcomplete unnatural, you just
(13:46):
found this piece inside of youthat actually fit and worked,
but you didn't get to use therest of it.
Tami (13:51):
Yeah, that's like Like you meant, yeah, and Bear with me
on this and certainly challengethe way I'm setting this up,
right, but it's almost like withthat group of leaders.
That component became the senseof belonging with them and that
was the only thing that wasfocused on or emphasized.
So everything else wasminimized everywhere else, right
?
So it's a blend of these things.
The minimization, right, iswhat kept me from truly
(14:13):
belonging in the rest of yeah,the rest of the audience around.
Justin (14:18):
Yeah, I love that.
Yeah, so that's, I like thatand that's just like an example
of, I think the moral of thestory is whole fresh garlic is
the bath.
Wow, this is ridiculous.
We are full authentic self, youknow.
Granted, we've got to balancethat with good, you know,
radical acceptance of others,but I love that.
(14:40):
Okay, I want to switch gearsbecause there is a subject that
you mentioned that I don't thinkwe've talked about, like we
haven't talked a lot aboutRelationships.
I think one episode this seasonwe've dipped into very surface
relationship.
But you had mentioned, you know, single woman, 45.
(15:01):
You said your age, so it's true,it's me on it, on it and and so
there that impacts yourbelonging in different groups,
in different places.
I would love to explore thatand just understand a little bit
more.
Tami (15:15):
Yeah, can't it be in every Dynamic I can't think of one
word doesn't come into play andI'm gonna think a little harder
on it, but it's a.
It's Separates me from, I'mdifferent from most in most
situations.
Right when I look at my familyParrot, siblings everyone's
(15:36):
married, everyone has children,right, so there's there's a
disconnect for me.
When I look at my group offriends and this has changed
over the years right when I wasin my 20s I wasn't an anomaly.
Now that I'm in my 40s, I amkind of an anomaly.
Very few friends like and putin the same bucket as me.
But you know, everyone'smarried or has children or both,
(15:57):
right, so there's a separationthere and that plays into you
know how you manage your dailylives, how you, where you show
up, what your interests are,your, your priorities, your
flexibility, you everythingchanges when you have other
things in the mix.
She was up at work.
You know, back when I was incorporate America in particular,
(16:17):
I would carry a lot of guiltthat I've had to work later to
compensate for my married or andor Parented friends or
colleagues, right, because theyneeded to go home and take care
of the rest of their life.
I didn't have anything waitingfor me.
Therefore, I should pick up theslack, and I know not alone and
that I've talked to a lot ofSingle people who feel the same
(16:37):
way and carrying this aroundwith them.
So I just think that there'sthere's so many legs to it.
You know, I meet people for thefirst time and that's one of
the first questions they askregarding those of who they are
right like.
Well, tell me about your familywhen my mom's right?
You know, I don't think that'swhat they're really asking.
So it is.
It is a big disconnect and Idon't know that it's always
limiting, right, but it's very.
(16:57):
I am very different than mostpeople, especially in the age
category.
Justin (17:02):
Yeah, it's interesting to think about.
It's something that so IForever, up until seven years
ago, identified as like thesingle professional.
And it's weird now to thinklike, oh wow, I've been in a
relationship now for seven years.
So like I'm not about that sameperson, but I totally remember,
like being in my 30s and thisisn't a Gender remark
(17:23):
necessarily, other than statedfact of the specific incidents
Like I worked with a lot ofsenior leaders male senior
leaders who had wives who didn'twork, yeah, and like I found
myself stressed out because,like I don't have time to pick
up my dry cleaning.
Like I would be working 12 plushour days and they had their
(17:43):
lunches ready from theirstay-at-home partner.
They had their laundry takencare of from their stay-at-home
partner.
I'm like, when I get to dolaundry, like and nobody's doing
this me, and not that we needsomeone to be at home doing
those things, but that wassomething that I remember from
from those days.
Tami (18:01):
Yeah, support system right , you have they.
There's a go-to person, yourlife.
And certainly don't get mewrong I'm not saying that being
in a relationship means thatyour world is a perfect break,
because I know there's othergood luck, these they come into
it too right.
But you know there's a wholesupport system and a whole other
set of priorities and a wholeset of roles that get tied to
people on and in thoseCategories, whereas being a
(18:23):
single person, those aren'tthere and so then you know,
society kind of says there'ssomething wrong with you if
you're not in one of thoseplaces.
It's hard to not feel that wayfrom time to time when you have
other people around you and Ican't tell you how many times
I've been asked the question sowhy are you still single?
It really almost as if like,what am I doing wrong?
You know, I don't know.
(18:43):
You tell me it's like I'm stillsingle.
Justin (18:46):
Yeah, it's set.
There's so much judgment inthere of light.
I, yeah, but that's a weirdquestion.
I've never asked that.
I don't think I've ever askedthat because, because I
identified as like a Perpetualsingle person for so long, I
hope that I would never skip it.
Tami (19:02):
Yeah, Well, and I think people Best intentions right.
I don't think people need youand that's degrading, but it
does come across as like I don'tknow.
You tell me this can be reallyoff-putting.
Justin (19:12):
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
And you know the other piece,the other dimension of that, I
think relationships and kind ofI would broaden it to say like
none Sis-Hadera relationshipswhere, like you know, when you
don't have kids, like I don'tnever had kids, I will never
have kids, like there's alsothat dimension and different
expectation, right Like there'sthat guilt of like you should
(19:33):
work later because you don'thave kids.
So, even if you're in arelationship, so it's like the
relationship and it's a parentalstatus that othered a bit.
Tami (19:43):
Totally.
And even, you know, I remembermy long-stagiancy job.
You know I had just gotten adog for the first time and that
was like all of a sudden I havea reason to leave.
When the office there I wassomething waiting for me, you
know, and it kind of releasedsome of that guilt that I had
inadvertently been carryingaround of like, well, they have
(20:03):
to go into their kids, so theyhave to go home and take their
kids to soccer or whatever thething is right like.
So all of a sudden, now I havethis other responsibility.
I don't know, it was just likethis interesting shift for me.
So, having that, you know,being in this silo, this world
where you don't have thosethings, you can carry a lot of
other things, other pressures onyou that the people don't
realize.
Justin (20:23):
Yeah, I, because this is the first time we're discussing
this topic like broadly on thepodcast.
I'm curious how you know ifthere's people who are listening
who are like oh my gosh, Itotally get this, Tammi.
Like I'm in that seat too.
Like how have you positivelymanaged that in the past, have I
(20:45):
?
Tami (20:46):
like there's an assumption that I have well, there's a
couple things and I think youknow, depending on your
attention of the question, right, how they manage it for myself,
a million sanity, right andpsychological safety, how
they're doing with other peopleto help educate and maybe bring
them along in a different way,right?
So do you intend well, theother or the other of those?
Justin (21:06):
thoughts are great.
Tami (21:07):
Yeah.
So for me, you know, I thinkthe big thing is around false.
You know, self acceptance,right and sorry.
He's seen my, my dog, so I'dhave to accept and believe that
I am an amazing person, right,like there's nothing wrong with
me.
I just haven't found somebodythat I want to send time with in
that capacity.
And then and I Openly I willtell you many years I didn't
even try.
(21:27):
I was still worked up withfocus on work, focus on other
priorities.
It just wasn't a big thing forme, it was deep prioritized and
that led to where I am today.
So part of it is trueacceptance of this is my
situation.
This is where I am and I amjust fine and I am whole,
without that other side of thehouse.
(21:48):
When it comes to the outsideperceptions, that's where it
gets hard.
That's why I always feel likeholidays are a hard time because
there's a lot of less familyget together.
Let's have coupled off things.
I spent years with my brotherand a bunch of his married
friends this year being thesingle person, odd man out, and
so I had to like height myselfup going into it, like there,
(22:11):
I'm fine, it's fine, we're alljust people, and really kind of
separate some of those thingsout.
So I think the big thing islike your mental state and
acceptance of where you are andknowing, like, if you desire to
be in a relationship, great,taking actions toward that, but
acceptance of the place that youare today, person, most is
number one.
And then, you know, it comes topeople on kind of putting that
(22:32):
pressure on you and asking thosekinds of questions like why are
you still single?
You know, I find that two thingsI need to do, two things to be
successful.
And that one is truly believethey have best intentions, right
, like they believe that that'sthe best way for them to be
happy there, for their shiningthat light on me in the same way
, right, maybe it's the case,maybe it's not the case, but I
(22:53):
need to believe that to havethat same kind of open
relationship and connection withthem and not feel judged by
them, I need to have bestassumptions, kind of walking
into it.
And then I do believe thatthere's a time to you know kind
of educate and share perspectiveon why those kinds of questions
maybe aren't most productive.
And so I've had people ask melike, well, why are you still
single?
And you know posing back.
(23:15):
You know thought for brokenquestions like well, you know.
Again you tell me what do you,what do you see?
And that's a really quick wayto get people uncomfortable.
Justin (23:23):
Now, why aren't you single?
Tami (23:25):
Yeah, right, or or what's the harm in being single?
You know, I'm just kind ofputting back questions of people
to get them to think like gosh.
Maybe that didn't come acrosswith my intentions or the way
that I meant to.
Yeah, you know, I had someonerecently asked me about you know
, my dating or I see anybody,and you know I asked back like
you know, basically like what is?
(23:45):
Why is it you believe thatpeople need to be in a coupled
off relationship?
I just kind of put it back tothem and so you know, it's not.
I don't mean it in a degradingway, but I mean it in a way to
educate, like gosh, there areother ways to live your life
than the way that you do.
Justin (23:59):
Yeah, yeah.
So and I love the first pointof just the self acceptance,
like how do you feel about it?
Are you okay with it?
Like, accept it, like here'swhere I am, and then you can be
much more comfortable in beingauthentic with it and then
engaging those conversations oflike well, why aren't you single
?
I kind of love that, like Ihave fun.
(24:20):
Whatever, leave me alone.
Tami (24:22):
Right.
My favorite is when my sisterwould ask questions like that
when she was younger and shewould talk about her children
and point out the wrinkles onher foreheads like that.
Justin (24:30):
Yes, yes, and you know the family thing, you know
what's interesting.
You just made me think ofsomething explicitly and I think
I've thought about but like asmy younger, like single,
perpetual single self, likefamily stuff, like I moved away
from my family they're all stillin Iowa and like the
expectation is for holidays, forall of that, like you just come
(24:51):
home, like what, what else doyou have to do?
Like you're a single, yourmobile we all have appendages
that we need to care for.
And Now, being in arelationship and it's been more
in the past recent few yearsthat there's just now, like
Justin's past, some things, solike there's actually other
things and now like it, with theodd thing is it in a
(25:15):
Counterintuitively gives me alittle more agency over my life
compared to family.
Yes, Because even excuse, Idon't know, it's just weird.
Tami (25:25):
No, I.
There have been years where Ihave not been so inclined to
come home For specific holidaysfor various reasons going on a
trip or doing something formyself and I've gotten a lot of
backlash from my family on that,like why are you here?
You need to be here.
This type of family and yourlack of understanding of there
are other things you knowoutside of their perception of
(25:48):
what needs to happen in my world.
Justin (25:50):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's so much there.
Families play challenging.
Well, Tami, thank you so muchfor joining me on the podcast.
I love the conversation.
We got a little bit ofProfessional stuff, we got a
little bit of personal stuff andI love all of it.
Comes back to that authenticityof you know on the you know,
understanding that our our full,fresh garlic cells and then
(26:14):
being comfortable with kind ofwho we are in our situation and
being able to navigate ourspaces in that way.
So I love it.
Tami, thank you so much.
I'll make sure that I providesome links so people can find
you, connect with you.
But is there anything that youwould like to share before we
close out About how people canfind you or anything you want
people to know about you?
Tami (26:33):
Yeah, I mean, I think the the Recap I'd love to share just
around authenticity, right, isit so important to know who you
are, who are today, but also whoyou want to be?
Right, there's always thataspirational side of the house
where we want to know how wewant to grow and continue to
evolve as a person.
And you know, I, especially asI think about that the corporate
me and as I was growing andtrying to figure out how to be
(26:54):
an authentic leader, you knowthat took time and that took
practice and kind of figuringout like how do I show up, how
do I lean into these things thatare most important to me, etc.
So so I just kind of want tocaveat that right like it's, it
is self-acceptance and it isunderstanding of who you are,
but there's still room forgrowth and kind of just keep him
keeping and down as well.
Okay, so how to find me?
(27:17):
And please reach out.
Reach out to me on LinkedIn orInstagram or Facebook or
whatever.
I would be happy to connect mycompanies, we inspire, we and my
name is Tami Chapek and thoseare easy, easy Googles, because
there's not a lot of them outthere.
Justin (27:28):
Awesome.
Thank you so much, Tami andeveryone else.
Join us again for anotherepisode of creating one you
podcast.
See you soon.
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