August 23, 2023 • 14 mins
Join me this week as I share why we have hustle culture wrong. The most important takeaway is - whatever you do to get what you want, you have to keep doing to keep it. Knowing this, you can uncover what you’re really desiring, and use that to fuel what you create.
Here’s what’s possible when you know the difference between creating from desire vs hustle:
- Why ‘doing whatever it takes’ to create what you want usually leads to being disappointed
- How to uncover what it is you’re *really wanting* (which is the reason you want the thing you want)
- How to utilize your desire to create with self-compassion, befriending yourself, and using goals to pursue self-growth (rather than hustling, proving yourself, and seeking external validation)
Episode Notes
Want to begin a journaling habit? The Daily Writing Prompts are supportive and thoughtful prompts to discover what you believe is possible for you, what you want, and what's in the way right now. Learn more HERE
If you want to feel intuitive in your creative practice, AND tap into your one-in-eight-billion perspective and contribution, head to www.jenmoulton.com/newsletter and get my Intuitive Creation Audio. You’ll receive an audio that teaches you a unique process to reliably tap in BEFORE you make any creative work so you can overcome procrastination, overwhelm, and where-do-i-start-itis.
Get the transcript and full show notes HERE
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
ATR USB microphone (00:24):
Welcome to today's episode, What You Do to
Get It, You Have to Do to KeepIt.
I think that there's a reallycommon idea or plan that we all
seem to believe, and I think, Imean, I think I know where it
comes from.
I think we're, it's an idea thatsold to us.
But the idea being that we canhustle our way to where we want
(00:48):
to be and then once we gotthere, we think that we'll be
able to enjoy it.
We'll be able to relax, maybewe'll be able to work class or
take time off or enjoy it more.
Something like that.
And that's what I want to talkabout today.
This is not how it works.
I have realized this, and nowI'm on a mission to share it
(01:10):
with other people, because Ithink it's so, so important to
know this.
Here's how it actually works.
And I want to say that so far,this has proven to be very true
for me, but as always, Idefinitely want you to check
this against what feels rightfor you.
(01:31):
What I have come to believe isthat whatever you do to create
something, whatever you do tocreate it, you'll have to keep
doing in order to keep it.
So that means whatever you do tocreate the thing, whether it's a
project, a career, arelationship, I think this is
applicable to like pretty mucheverything whatever you do in
(01:54):
order to create it, have it,attain it, maintain it you're
going to have to keep doing inorder to keep it.
And I want this to like reallysink in.
I think that so often we arewilling to sacrifice our
wellbeing, our time, our energy,we're willing to hustle, we're
willing to'do whatever it takes'quote unquote, and what we don't
(02:19):
realize is that the trade off isthat we will have to keep doing
that in order to maintain it.
So that means that whateverlifestyle you desire, once you
quote, get there, you must beginliving and creating it now,
while you're on your path.
While you're on your way tocreating it or having it.
(02:40):
I really believe that this is atransformational truth to learn,
and to really understand.
To really let it settle intoyour bones.
When we do whatever it takes toreach our goal, then we are on
the hook to keep doing whateverit takes to keep it.
And very often, I don't thinkthat we're actually interested
(03:03):
in, or willing, or wanting tokeep doing whatever it takes to
maintain it.
I think that this is the liethat we're sold in hustle
culture (03:12):
do whatever it takes to get there and then you can have
the lifestyle you want.
You can have the experience oflife that you want.
But that doesn't actuallyhappen.
And I want you to check this foryourself.
I want you to think about a timethat you compromised in order to
get something.
(03:34):
And now consider, once you gotit, were you finally able to
relax and enjoy it?
That might sound a littledifferent to you, that's when I
hear a lot, that's when I thinka lot, like, oh, I'll be able to
relax and enjoy it.
It might be a little differentfor you.
But once you got the thing, wereyou able to have the experience
you wanted to have?
Were you feeling the way youwanted to feel?
Were you experiencing life theway that you wanted to
(03:55):
experience life?
I'm going to guess at the answeris no.
And I bet that it felt reallysad at the time to realize that.
Like what a majordisappointment.
I know that I've been there.
And I want you to know thatthere's another way.
The other way is to feel how youwant to feel while you create
(04:20):
this thing that you desire inyour life.
It's a completely different wayof doing and being.
And it's possible to get thereby doing it this way.
And I want to explain what Imean what I mean when I say the
other way is to feel how youwant to feel while you create
this thing that you want.
(04:41):
I want to explain that a littlebit because I think that's said
a lot and repeated a lot, and Iused to be like, how do you
actually do that?
I don't know what you're talkingabout.
Like, it just seemed like thisvery esoteric thing.
Here's what I mean (04:55):
The way to do this is to think about the
thing that you want to have, orcreate, or be, or do, whatever
that is for you and examine thisthing for yourself and get
curious about how you think youwill feel when you have that
thing.
And not just when you have it,but probably more like when it's
(05:19):
just a normal part of your life.
When it's not new and excitingin this crazy thrill but it's
just like this part of thefabric or the quilt of your
life.
I think that a common feelingthat we're all actually seeking
is peace.
But it could be anything foryou, it could be any emotion
that you're desiring.
(05:41):
And I do want to say here thatwhen you find this desired
emotion for yourself, to exploreit and to just keep digging and
being like, okay, if I have thefeeling of accomplished, then
what would that get me?
Just keep digging around andseeing if you land on like a
root that feels reallymeaningful to you.
(06:05):
For me, I shared peace becausethat's a really meaningful one
for me.
It matters a lot to me.
And it's one that I often findis beneath things that I'm
wanting.
And so again, I'm going to usethe example of peace here.
If I know that what I'm actuallydesiring is peace when I'm
wanting this thing, and when Isaid that the other way is to
(06:31):
feel how you want to feel whileyou create this thing that you
desire in your life.
What I mean, is that, I or you,are going to find peace while
we're doing the work of creatingor attaining or ascertaining the
thing that we want.
(06:52):
I'm going to do it from a placeof peace.
You're going to do it from aplace of peace, or whatever
feeling is meaningful for youhere.
And we would do it from a placeof peace, rather than hustle or
whatever it takes.
However that looks for you, likethe sacrifice, the pushing
yourself, the losing yourself,the compromising your wellbeing
(07:13):
in order to do the thing.
If you get in touch with why youwant the thing that you want,
the underlying desire which isan emotion if you get in touch
with that, then you can createthe thing that you're wanting
from that place.
Where that's already intact.
And then once you have it, thething that you want and you
(07:36):
created it from a place ofpeace, you will be able to
maintain it from that place.
It's so much easier.
I'm going to say that you couldprobably make this switch.
Although, I think it would bemuch more difficult to do it
this way.
And there's a lot of growingpains involved if you create
something from hustle and thenyou want to maintain it from
(07:58):
peace.
That would probably be a prettydifficult transition.
And maybe that's part of yourpath so I'm not going to say
that's the wrong way to do it,but I just think that there'll
be a lot of growing painsinvolved in doing it that way.
If, instead, you do it fromagain, we're using the example
(08:19):
of peace here, but whatever theactual desired emotion is, if
instead you create it from aplace of peace and then you
maintain it from a place ofpeace you create the thing you
want and then you maintain thething you want from peace then
you are aligned to it the entiretime.
(08:40):
And what I hope you can see hereis that there's I don't know,
like soldiers that are lining upbehind this.
Right?
So you get to maintain it from aplace of alignment and peace.
But also when you do it from analigned place to begin with,
when you create it from analigned place to begin with,
(09:01):
then you were able to create itand then also maintain it with
self-compassion and befriendingyourself and doing it from a
place of care and in pursuit ofyour own growth.
Rather than hustling, provingyourself, seeking external
accomplishment, looking forexternal validation, et cetera.
(09:23):
And most of all, when you createit from a place of what you're
really desiring, again, we'reusing the example of peace here,
that means that you will be ableto enjoy yourself while you were
in the process of creating itfor yourself, and not just once
you'get there'.
So you'll be able to enjoyyourself while you're in
(09:45):
process.
And this is important becausesometimes it can take a few
years for something to come tofruition in your life.
You can enjoy yourself whileyou're in process.
And not just put off yourenjoyment until you get there in
some future place that youactually have very little
control over.
(10:07):
I think that we all know whatit's like and how painful it is
to put our self worth, to putour enjoyment of life, to put
our self-compassion, andbefriending ourselves into a
future place that we're chasing.
That is one way to do life forsure.
And it's a way that I think alot of us are taught to do life.
It's certainly available to us.
(10:30):
But I want to offer here that wecan do it with more soft
kindness and befriendingourselves when we get in touch
with our desire first.
Which again is the feeling thatwe're desiring from the thing
that we're wanting, the feelingthat we want to have, the
feeling that we want toexperience.
(10:52):
And once we know what thatfeeling is, we can create it
from that place.
We can create the thing that wewant from that place.
And then, what we did to get it,will feel very aligned, and then
it will feel very aligned tocontinue to maintain it from
that place.
And like I said, I just thinkour experience is so much better
(11:15):
when we are clear on why we wantto create it, and then we use
that to fuel creating the thing,getting the thing, having the
thing.
And then being able toexperience it from there.
It's like kind of like a, maybea good metaphor here would be if
you're building your path andthe path is a road.
(11:38):
What do you paving the pathwith?
Are you paving it with clarity,and connection to your why, and
clear on your desire andcreating that experience that
you want while you're pavingyour path?
And then of course, along withthat goes self-compassion and
befriending yourself and doingthings for the pursuit of
(12:01):
self-growth that's one way topave the path.
Another way is again, the waythat we're all taught and so I
have a lot of compassion forthis, I don't have judgment
around it, more that I just wantyou to know so that you can make
an informed decision.
Hustle, self-sacrifice, doingwhatever it takes, pushing,
(12:21):
rushing, urgency, and all of theemotions that go along with
that, that's another way to paveour path.
We have a choice.
We get to choose how we want toexperience the path that we are
building.
And I'm offering here that youcan pave your path with hustle,
and then transition into theemotional experience that you
(12:45):
want to have the relaxation,enjoyment, et cetera.
That is possible, I think, inmost cases.
But I think it's a really roughtransition.
And instead you can do thatlegwork now, while you're going
and kind of ahead of time getclear on the why, get clear on
(13:09):
what you actually want toexperience, and then use that to
fuel yourself while you'recreating an attaining the thing
that you're wanting.
I am so glad that you are hereand that we get to walk our
paths together.
See you next time.
Same time, same place.
Bye for now.
Welcome to today's episode, What You Do to
Get It, You Have to Do to KeepIt.
I think that there's a reallycommon idea or plan that we all
seem to believe, and I think, Imean, I think I know where it
comes from.
I think we're, it's an idea thatsold to us.
But the idea being that we canhustle our way to where we want
(00:48):
to be and then once we gotthere, we think that we'll be
able to enjoy it.
We'll be able to relax, maybewe'll be able to work class or
take time off or enjoy it more.
Something like that.
And that's what I want to talkabout today.
This is not how it works.
I have realized this, and nowI'm on a mission to share it
(01:10):
with other people, because Ithink it's so, so important to
know this.
Here's how it actually works.
And I want to say that so far,this has proven to be very true
for me, but as always, Idefinitely want you to check
this against what feels rightfor you.
(01:31):
What I have come to believe isthat whatever you do to create
something, whatever you do tocreate it, you'll have to keep
doing in order to keep it.
So that means whatever you do tocreate the thing, whether it's a
project, a career, arelationship, I think this is
applicable to like pretty mucheverything whatever you do in
(01:54):
order to create it, have it,attain it, maintain it you're
going to have to keep doing inorder to keep it.
And I want this to like reallysink in.
I think that so often we arewilling to sacrifice our
wellbeing, our time, our energy,we're willing to hustle, we're
willing to'do whatever it takes'quote unquote, and what we don't
(02:19):
realize is that the trade off isthat we will have to keep doing
that in order to maintain it.
So that means that whateverlifestyle you desire, once you
quote, get there, you must beginliving and creating it now,
while you're on your path.
While you're on your way tocreating it or having it.
(02:40):
I really believe that this is atransformational truth to learn,
and to really understand.
To really let it settle intoyour bones.
When we do whatever it takes toreach our goal, then we are on
the hook to keep doing whateverit takes to keep it.
And very often, I don't thinkthat we're actually interested
(03:03):
in, or willing, or wanting tokeep doing whatever it takes to
maintain it.
I think that this is the liethat we're sold in hustle
culture (03:12):
do whatever it takes to get there and then you can have
the lifestyle you want.
You can have the experience oflife that you want.
But that doesn't actuallyhappen.
And I want you to check this foryourself.
I want you to think about a timethat you compromised in order to
get something.
(03:34):
And now consider, once you gotit, were you finally able to
relax and enjoy it?
That might sound a littledifferent to you, that's when I
hear a lot, that's when I thinka lot, like, oh, I'll be able to
relax and enjoy it.
It might be a little differentfor you.
But once you got the thing, wereyou able to have the experience
you wanted to have?
Were you feeling the way youwanted to feel?
Were you experiencing life theway that you wanted to
(03:55):
experience life?
I'm going to guess at the answeris no.
And I bet that it felt reallysad at the time to realize that.
Like what a majordisappointment.
I know that I've been there.
And I want you to know thatthere's another way.
The other way is to feel how youwant to feel while you create
(04:20):
this thing that you desire inyour life.
It's a completely different wayof doing and being.
And it's possible to get thereby doing it this way.
And I want to explain what Imean what I mean when I say the
other way is to feel how youwant to feel while you create
this thing that you want.
(04:41):
I want to explain that a littlebit because I think that's said
a lot and repeated a lot, and Iused to be like, how do you
actually do that?
I don't know what you're talkingabout.
Like, it just seemed like thisvery esoteric thing.
Here's what I mean (04:55):
The way to do this is to think about the
thing that you want to have, orcreate, or be, or do, whatever
that is for you and examine thisthing for yourself and get
curious about how you think youwill feel when you have that
thing.
And not just when you have it,but probably more like when it's
(05:19):
just a normal part of your life.
When it's not new and excitingin this crazy thrill but it's
just like this part of thefabric or the quilt of your
life.
I think that a common feelingthat we're all actually seeking
is peace.
But it could be anything foryou, it could be any emotion
that you're desiring.
(05:41):
And I do want to say here thatwhen you find this desired
emotion for yourself, to exploreit and to just keep digging and
being like, okay, if I have thefeeling of accomplished, then
what would that get me?
Just keep digging around andseeing if you land on like a
root that feels reallymeaningful to you.
(06:05):
For me, I shared peace becausethat's a really meaningful one
for me.
It matters a lot to me.
And it's one that I often findis beneath things that I'm
wanting.
And so again, I'm going to usethe example of peace here.
If I know that what I'm actuallydesiring is peace when I'm
wanting this thing, and when Isaid that the other way is to
(06:31):
feel how you want to feel whileyou create this thing that you
desire in your life.
What I mean, is that, I or you,are going to find peace while
we're doing the work of creatingor attaining or ascertaining the
thing that we want.
(06:52):
I'm going to do it from a placeof peace.
You're going to do it from aplace of peace, or whatever
feeling is meaningful for youhere.
And we would do it from a placeof peace, rather than hustle or
whatever it takes.
However that looks for you, likethe sacrifice, the pushing
yourself, the losing yourself,the compromising your wellbeing
(07:13):
in order to do the thing.
If you get in touch with why youwant the thing that you want,
the underlying desire which isan emotion if you get in touch
with that, then you can createthe thing that you're wanting
from that place.
Where that's already intact.
And then once you have it, thething that you want and you
(07:36):
created it from a place ofpeace, you will be able to
maintain it from that place.
It's so much easier.
I'm going to say that you couldprobably make this switch.
Although, I think it would bemuch more difficult to do it
this way.
And there's a lot of growingpains involved if you create
something from hustle and thenyou want to maintain it from
(07:58):
peace.
That would probably be a prettydifficult transition.
And maybe that's part of yourpath so I'm not going to say
that's the wrong way to do it,but I just think that there'll
be a lot of growing painsinvolved in doing it that way.
If, instead, you do it fromagain, we're using the example
(08:19):
of peace here, but whatever theactual desired emotion is, if
instead you create it from aplace of peace and then you
maintain it from a place ofpeace you create the thing you
want and then you maintain thething you want from peace then
you are aligned to it the entiretime.
(08:40):
And what I hope you can see hereis that there's I don't know,
like soldiers that are lining upbehind this.
Right?
So you get to maintain it from aplace of alignment and peace.
But also when you do it from analigned place to begin with,
when you create it from analigned place to begin with,
(09:01):
then you were able to create itand then also maintain it with
self-compassion and befriendingyourself and doing it from a
place of care and in pursuit ofyour own growth.
Rather than hustling, provingyourself, seeking external
accomplishment, looking forexternal validation, et cetera.
(09:23):
And most of all, when you createit from a place of what you're
really desiring, again, we'reusing the example of peace here,
that means that you will be ableto enjoy yourself while you were
in the process of creating itfor yourself, and not just once
you'get there'.
So you'll be able to enjoyyourself while you're in
(09:45):
process.
And this is important becausesometimes it can take a few
years for something to come tofruition in your life.
You can enjoy yourself whileyou're in process.
And not just put off yourenjoyment until you get there in
some future place that youactually have very little
control over.
(10:07):
I think that we all know whatit's like and how painful it is
to put our self worth, to putour enjoyment of life, to put
our self-compassion, andbefriending ourselves into a
future place that we're chasing.
That is one way to do life forsure.
And it's a way that I think alot of us are taught to do life.
It's certainly available to us.
(10:30):
But I want to offer here that wecan do it with more soft
kindness and befriendingourselves when we get in touch
with our desire first.
Which again is the feeling thatwe're desiring from the thing
that we're wanting, the feelingthat we want to have, the
feeling that we want toexperience.
(10:52):
And once we know what thatfeeling is, we can create it
from that place.
We can create the thing that wewant from that place.
And then, what we did to get it,will feel very aligned, and then
it will feel very aligned tocontinue to maintain it from
that place.
And like I said, I just thinkour experience is so much better
(11:15):
when we are clear on why we wantto create it, and then we use
that to fuel creating the thing,getting the thing, having the
thing.
And then being able toexperience it from there.
It's like kind of like a, maybea good metaphor here would be if
you're building your path andthe path is a road.
(11:38):
What do you paving the pathwith?
Are you paving it with clarity,and connection to your why, and
clear on your desire andcreating that experience that
you want while you're pavingyour path?
And then of course, along withthat goes self-compassion and
befriending yourself and doingthings for the pursuit of
(12:01):
self-growth that's one way topave the path.
Another way is again, the waythat we're all taught and so I
have a lot of compassion forthis, I don't have judgment
around it, more that I just wantyou to know so that you can make
an informed decision.
Hustle, self-sacrifice, doingwhatever it takes, pushing,
(12:21):
rushing, urgency, and all of theemotions that go along with
that, that's another way to paveour path.
We have a choice.
We get to choose how we want toexperience the path that we are
building.
And I'm offering here that youcan pave your path with hustle,
and then transition into theemotional experience that you
(12:45):
want to have the relaxation,enjoyment, et cetera.
That is possible, I think, inmost cases.
But I think it's a really roughtransition.
And instead you can do thatlegwork now, while you're going
and kind of ahead of time getclear on the why, get clear on
(13:09):
what you actually want toexperience, and then use that to
fuel yourself while you'recreating an attaining the thing
that you're wanting.
I am so glad that you are hereand that we get to walk our
paths together.
See you next time.
Same time, same place.
Bye for now.
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