May 24, 2023 • 14 mins
Join me this week as I share the difference between life feeling boring vs. stabilized, and what it feels like firsthand to be in the middle of a big (unknown) personal transformation.
In this episode, I share:
- The difference between feeling bored with life vs. stability (hint: it often takes time for our brains + bodies to catch up)
- How we go through these growth cycles when we’re really living
- Why I’m sharing so transparently about this (I resist the idea that being in in-between spaces - which is often pathologized as low energy, anxiety, even feeling morose - is taboo)
Show Notes
If you want to feel intuitive in your creative practice, AND tap into your one-in-eight-billion perspective and contribution, head to www.jenmoulton.com/newsletter and get my Intuitive Creation Audio. You’ll receive an audio that teaches you a unique process to reliably tap in BEFORE you make any creative work so you can overcome procrastination, overwhelm, and where-do-i-start-itis.
Get the transcript and full show notes HERE
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
ATR USB microphone (00:25):
Welcome to today's episode, When Life Feels
Boring.
Today I'm talking about thedifference between when life
feels boring versus when it'sactually just stabilizing.
And if that is unfamiliar toyou, as it is for me, it can
feel kind of boring and rote.
(00:46):
But what I think is actuallyhappening is just stabilization.
And that may be a new experiencefor us.
And I'm sharing all of thisbecause I am sharing it from
firsthand experience.
I am in the middle of a reallybig unknown transformation,
personal transformation, I'm notexactly sure where things are
(01:09):
leading me, but I've beenthrough this enough times that I
know when I'm in one, and thisis, I think one of the first
times that I'm in this bigtransformation, but I'm not
setting my sights on somethingspecific, like I usually do, and
just running towards it in mylittle achievement mode.
I have done a lot of personalwork around this, and I am just
(01:34):
doing what I talk about doing,which is following the lily pads
one at a time and seeing wherethis ultimately wants to lead
me.
When I talk about the differencebetween life feeling boring
versus things stabilizing, Ithink that what is actually
happening is it's just takingtime for our brains and bodies
to catch up to the new statusquo.
(01:57):
So I talk about that in today'sepisode.
I also share about how I thinkthat we go through these growth
cycles that often feeldestabilizing, and then you
experience the stabilization I'mtalking about, when we're really
living.
I think if we don't know, andI've talked to a lot of people
who it feels like something isreally wrong when we are going
(02:20):
through these personaltransformations and we may be
suffering or struggling andnothing feels familiar yet, and
it's like, what the heck am Idoing?
What caused this?
Why is this happening?
Or things just no longer feelthe way they used to for you.
There may be a sense ofdiscontent, or malaise, or just
(02:44):
like what was working for youfor so long is no longer working
and you're not exactly sure whyyet.
I think that these growth cyclesare incredibly normal and
actually a sign that we'rereally living.
It's a true example of themetamorphosis from a caterpillar
to a butterfly.
You are literally changing yourDNA in the process.
(03:08):
And yeah, that's gonna feelweird and like a real squeeze
usually, in my experience.
And then I also talk about whyI'm sharing so transparently
about this.
I think it's seen as tabooculturally to share when we are
in a transformation which mightlook like struggling, or
suffering, or when we just don'thave all of our shit together.
(03:32):
I really resist the idea thatbeing in these in between
spaces, which I think is oftenpathologized as low energy, or
anxiety, or even feeling morose,that this is taboo.
I resist that idea completely.
I think that this is anextremely normal part of, if
we're living on a curve, youknow, we have the peaks and then
(03:53):
we experience the valleys wherewe're integrating information,
we're learning more aboutourselves.
We may be going through thismetamorphosis that I keep
talking about.
So I know I've been sharing alot about this lately, and I
talk about why I am doing that.
I wish more people would shareabout this because I think that
the reason why we thinksomething is wrong is that we
(04:15):
think we're the only ones thatgo through it, and that couldn't
be further from the truth.
So that's an overview of today'sepisode, and I am so glad that
you're here, and let's get intoit.
I am thinking about how I feelkind of bored with my routine
and my mind or my brain is, islike seeking interest.
(04:39):
Like should I go do this?
Should I buy this?
Should I go have a glass ofwine?
Like so many things to change upwhat's going on or to like add
interest, I guess.
You know, seeking dopamine,right?
Like seeking a dopamine hit.
I was thinking about how a fewyears ago when I did a lot of
(05:02):
work on money and how moneybecame boring, and I was very
much not used to that.
I was used to money being like arollercoaster I was on and highs
and lows, and it felt veryunpredictable, and I didn't
really totally understand it,and I didn't feel like I had
very much control.
And now money is pretty boring.
(05:24):
I mean, like once in a whileI'll go through something new
with it, and I get to learn morethings, but for the most part,
it's just boring now.
Like I pay bills, invest acertain amount, save a certain
amount, buy things when we needthem, et cetera.
(05:44):
But it went from being like thisto being more just kind of like
a more gentle rollercoaster, Iguess.
And in the beginning that feltreally strange to me because I
grew up very much not with moneyfeeling boring.
And I'm thinking now about how Iguess it applies to my work
really.
(06:05):
It's just feeling a little, notwork even like, just like life
right now is feeling a littleboring in the sense that it's
really stabilized.
It's probably actually the rightword.
Not boring, but stabilized.
And if you're not used to thingsfeeling stable, it feels weird.
It feels like even though youwant stability, obviously our
(06:28):
brains and our bodies, I guessare wired for like this certain
roller coaster experience, andso when things stabilize, it
takes some time for our bodiesto catch up.
I think that's what I'm tryingto say.
It takes some time for ourbodies to acclimate to the new
routine, the new status quo.
(06:50):
And for me, I'm watching myinner experience like something,
it feels like something's wrong.
It feels like I should inputsomething in, to have a little
bit of excitement, to like shakethings up a little bit, because
I'm seeking the roller coasterride that I'm used to.
Which is like peaks and valleys,like a big shift.
(07:13):
And I don't even like rollercoasters, so it's always funny
to me that I use this analogy,but it just is always the most
appropriate one to me.
So I'm thinking of like, oh, Iwa like I wanna input something
so I can get on thisrollercoaster ride that I'm used
to.
And here's the thing, when youhave a really high peak, you're
going to have a similar valley.
(07:35):
We can't just have like highpeaks, and then like barely
enter a valley, and then highpeak again.
It doesn't work like that.
We have similar waves ofexperience and I don't know if
it's a symptom of getting alittle bit older, learning, you
know growing as a human,personal development, et cetera,
but I feel like in differentareas of my life, I'm finding a
(07:57):
more stable wave, a more stablerollercoaster ride, and it's
taking time for my brain andbody to catch up to it.
I think that it's definitelyevidence of growth, and I'm not
talking about boredom in likeI'm bored.
I don't know what to do.
I am not interested in anything,not like that.
(08:17):
I'm talking about boredom in thesense that things feel routine,
almost predictable.
Like you kind of just have aflow that you're going in.
I think this is applicable tooto artistic mediums.
The beginning, there's so manythings you don't understand.
I'm thinking of when I firstlearned pottery, it was like,
chaos.
And if it was successful, Ididn't know how to repeat it
(08:39):
yet.
It was like a fluke.
And then with lots and lots ofpractice, it became very
predictable where I knew whatwas gonna happen or if something
went wrong, I understood whatcaused it and I could remedy it.
And that level of mastery isreally compelling to me in
creative work.
But there's something about inlife that that mastery and
(09:01):
stability, I think I'm just notused to it, and I'm sharing all
of this because I feel that I'min a growth phase, or maybe like
a cocoon phase.
Like there's some stuff that'sbrewing for me and, and shifting
and changing under the surfacethat I don't totally understand
(09:22):
yet where it's leading me.
Usually I have a sense of it,but this is really, I think, a
culmination of a lot of thepersonal work I've done in that
I have no freaking idea wherethis is leading me, what is
brewing.
I just can feel thisreorganization happening
underneath the surface, and I'mseeing evidence of it in my life
(09:43):
and my reality, and I alwayswish that people would share
more about this.
Because it feels incrediblydestabilizing when you're in it,
when things don't feel familiaranymore.
I often use the analogy, you'veswum too far away from the
island that you're used to, andyou're like halfway between the
(10:06):
island that you used to live onand the one that you're swimming
towards, that you don't totallyknow what it contains, and
you're too far away to go back,but you're not really close yet,
so you don't really see whereyou're going or have any sense
of familiarity really.
And I think if you're reallyliving, this is what happens.
We all go through growth cycleslike this, like that cocoon
(10:29):
phase where you turn into goo.
And you, you go in acaterpillar, you turn into goo,
and then you come out acompletely different species as
a butterfly, and you'll gothrough that phase so many times
if you're really living.
And we don't talk about it verymuch culturally.
It's kind of taboo because itoften can look like you're
(10:51):
feeling low, or confused, oranxious, or even morose, and
that's a normal part of the restphase that's happening as you're
reorganizing and things arerecalibrating.
And it doesn't need to be like ataboo experience because we all
go through it if we're reallyliving.
(11:12):
And so I guess I don't have likea real fine point to put on
this, and usually I try to whenI share this kind of stuff, but
I just wanted to say that it'snormal to feel bored and even
when you're in a really deep,unknown phase, and especially if
you don't know where you'regoing yet, it's normal to feel
(11:34):
boredom and to feel kind ofdestabilized.
And it can feel really scary ifyou don't understand what is
happening.
But I want you to know, at leastin my lived experience, I've
gone through this many times.
Each time I'm like, oh my God,here I am again.
Like it feels like the firsttime every time, but it's normal
(11:58):
to go through phases where youfeel out of sorts, and like you
don't recognize yourself yetanymore, but you also don't know
what's next.
To feel boredom and wanting someinterest, or to get those little
dopamine hits to feel a littlebit stirred up or destabilized,
(12:20):
especially when your system isstabilizing.
And your body is catching up toit.
I've experienced this withmoney.
Like I said, I've experienced itin my creative practice, now I
feel like I'm experiencing itin, I guess, a greater life
sense.
It's definitely in work, andit's also just in life.
(12:41):
And I think part of it is that Ihave been ultra, ultra focused
on work for the past decade plusof my life, super focused on
achievement, and something isshifting around that for me,
which I'm really interested infor sure.
I wanna see where this goes, butit's an unknown territory for me
(13:02):
because achievement has been myjam for forever.
And I think maybe this is how ithappens, like different areas of
our life get upgraded at a time,and then put into a whole, that
is our lived experience.
That's what I have for youtoday.
(13:23):
I'm so glad that you're here and that we get
to walk our paths together.
See you next time.
Same time, same place.
Bye for now.
Welcome to today's episode, When Life Feels
Boring.
Today I'm talking about thedifference between when life
feels boring versus when it'sactually just stabilizing.
And if that is unfamiliar toyou, as it is for me, it can
feel kind of boring and rote.
(00:46):
But what I think is actuallyhappening is just stabilization.
And that may be a new experiencefor us.
And I'm sharing all of thisbecause I am sharing it from
firsthand experience.
I am in the middle of a reallybig unknown transformation,
personal transformation, I'm notexactly sure where things are
(01:09):
leading me, but I've beenthrough this enough times that I
know when I'm in one, and thisis, I think one of the first
times that I'm in this bigtransformation, but I'm not
setting my sights on somethingspecific, like I usually do, and
just running towards it in mylittle achievement mode.
I have done a lot of personalwork around this, and I am just
(01:34):
doing what I talk about doing,which is following the lily pads
one at a time and seeing wherethis ultimately wants to lead
me.
When I talk about the differencebetween life feeling boring
versus things stabilizing, Ithink that what is actually
happening is it's just takingtime for our brains and bodies
to catch up to the new statusquo.
(01:57):
So I talk about that in today'sepisode.
I also share about how I thinkthat we go through these growth
cycles that often feeldestabilizing, and then you
experience the stabilization I'mtalking about, when we're really
living.
I think if we don't know, andI've talked to a lot of people
who it feels like something isreally wrong when we are going
(02:20):
through these personaltransformations and we may be
suffering or struggling andnothing feels familiar yet, and
it's like, what the heck am Idoing?
What caused this?
Why is this happening?
Or things just no longer feelthe way they used to for you.
There may be a sense ofdiscontent, or malaise, or just
(02:44):
like what was working for youfor so long is no longer working
and you're not exactly sure whyyet.
I think that these growth cyclesare incredibly normal and
actually a sign that we'rereally living.
It's a true example of themetamorphosis from a caterpillar
to a butterfly.
You are literally changing yourDNA in the process.
(03:08):
And yeah, that's gonna feelweird and like a real squeeze
usually, in my experience.
And then I also talk about whyI'm sharing so transparently
about this.
I think it's seen as tabooculturally to share when we are
in a transformation which mightlook like struggling, or
suffering, or when we just don'thave all of our shit together.
(03:32):
I really resist the idea thatbeing in these in between
spaces, which I think is oftenpathologized as low energy, or
anxiety, or even feeling morose,that this is taboo.
I resist that idea completely.
I think that this is anextremely normal part of, if
we're living on a curve, youknow, we have the peaks and then
(03:53):
we experience the valleys wherewe're integrating information,
we're learning more aboutourselves.
We may be going through thismetamorphosis that I keep
talking about.
So I know I've been sharing alot about this lately, and I
talk about why I am doing that.
I wish more people would shareabout this because I think that
the reason why we thinksomething is wrong is that we
(04:15):
think we're the only ones thatgo through it, and that couldn't
be further from the truth.
So that's an overview of today'sepisode, and I am so glad that
you're here, and let's get intoit.
I am thinking about how I feelkind of bored with my routine
and my mind or my brain is, islike seeking interest.
(04:39):
Like should I go do this?
Should I buy this?
Should I go have a glass ofwine?
Like so many things to change upwhat's going on or to like add
interest, I guess.
You know, seeking dopamine,right?
Like seeking a dopamine hit.
I was thinking about how a fewyears ago when I did a lot of
(05:02):
work on money and how moneybecame boring, and I was very
much not used to that.
I was used to money being like arollercoaster I was on and highs
and lows, and it felt veryunpredictable, and I didn't
really totally understand it,and I didn't feel like I had
very much control.
And now money is pretty boring.
(05:24):
I mean, like once in a whileI'll go through something new
with it, and I get to learn morethings, but for the most part,
it's just boring now.
Like I pay bills, invest acertain amount, save a certain
amount, buy things when we needthem, et cetera.
(05:44):
But it went from being like thisto being more just kind of like
a more gentle rollercoaster, Iguess.
And in the beginning that feltreally strange to me because I
grew up very much not with moneyfeeling boring.
And I'm thinking now about how Iguess it applies to my work
really.
(06:05):
It's just feeling a little, notwork even like, just like life
right now is feeling a littleboring in the sense that it's
really stabilized.
It's probably actually the rightword.
Not boring, but stabilized.
And if you're not used to thingsfeeling stable, it feels weird.
It feels like even though youwant stability, obviously our
(06:28):
brains and our bodies, I guessare wired for like this certain
roller coaster experience, andso when things stabilize, it
takes some time for our bodiesto catch up.
I think that's what I'm tryingto say.
It takes some time for ourbodies to acclimate to the new
routine, the new status quo.
(06:50):
And for me, I'm watching myinner experience like something,
it feels like something's wrong.
It feels like I should inputsomething in, to have a little
bit of excitement, to like shakethings up a little bit, because
I'm seeking the roller coasterride that I'm used to.
Which is like peaks and valleys,like a big shift.
(07:13):
And I don't even like rollercoasters, so it's always funny
to me that I use this analogy,but it just is always the most
appropriate one to me.
So I'm thinking of like, oh, Iwa like I wanna input something
so I can get on thisrollercoaster ride that I'm used
to.
And here's the thing, when youhave a really high peak, you're
going to have a similar valley.
(07:35):
We can't just have like highpeaks, and then like barely
enter a valley, and then highpeak again.
It doesn't work like that.
We have similar waves ofexperience and I don't know if
it's a symptom of getting alittle bit older, learning, you
know growing as a human,personal development, et cetera,
but I feel like in differentareas of my life, I'm finding a
(07:57):
more stable wave, a more stablerollercoaster ride, and it's
taking time for my brain andbody to catch up to it.
I think that it's definitelyevidence of growth, and I'm not
talking about boredom in likeI'm bored.
I don't know what to do.
I am not interested in anything,not like that.
(08:17):
I'm talking about boredom in thesense that things feel routine,
almost predictable.
Like you kind of just have aflow that you're going in.
I think this is applicable tooto artistic mediums.
The beginning, there's so manythings you don't understand.
I'm thinking of when I firstlearned pottery, it was like,
chaos.
And if it was successful, Ididn't know how to repeat it
(08:39):
yet.
It was like a fluke.
And then with lots and lots ofpractice, it became very
predictable where I knew whatwas gonna happen or if something
went wrong, I understood whatcaused it and I could remedy it.
And that level of mastery isreally compelling to me in
creative work.
But there's something about inlife that that mastery and
(09:01):
stability, I think I'm just notused to it, and I'm sharing all
of this because I feel that I'min a growth phase, or maybe like
a cocoon phase.
Like there's some stuff that'sbrewing for me and, and shifting
and changing under the surfacethat I don't totally understand
(09:22):
yet where it's leading me.
Usually I have a sense of it,but this is really, I think, a
culmination of a lot of thepersonal work I've done in that
I have no freaking idea wherethis is leading me, what is
brewing.
I just can feel thisreorganization happening
underneath the surface, and I'mseeing evidence of it in my life
(09:43):
and my reality, and I alwayswish that people would share
more about this.
Because it feels incrediblydestabilizing when you're in it,
when things don't feel familiaranymore.
I often use the analogy, you'veswum too far away from the
island that you're used to, andyou're like halfway between the
(10:06):
island that you used to live onand the one that you're swimming
towards, that you don't totallyknow what it contains, and
you're too far away to go back,but you're not really close yet,
so you don't really see whereyou're going or have any sense
of familiarity really.
And I think if you're reallyliving, this is what happens.
We all go through growth cycleslike this, like that cocoon
(10:29):
phase where you turn into goo.
And you, you go in acaterpillar, you turn into goo,
and then you come out acompletely different species as
a butterfly, and you'll gothrough that phase so many times
if you're really living.
And we don't talk about it verymuch culturally.
It's kind of taboo because itoften can look like you're
(10:51):
feeling low, or confused, oranxious, or even morose, and
that's a normal part of the restphase that's happening as you're
reorganizing and things arerecalibrating.
And it doesn't need to be like ataboo experience because we all
go through it if we're reallyliving.
(11:12):
And so I guess I don't have likea real fine point to put on
this, and usually I try to whenI share this kind of stuff, but
I just wanted to say that it'snormal to feel bored and even
when you're in a really deep,unknown phase, and especially if
you don't know where you'regoing yet, it's normal to feel
(11:34):
boredom and to feel kind ofdestabilized.
And it can feel really scary ifyou don't understand what is
happening.
But I want you to know, at leastin my lived experience, I've
gone through this many times.
Each time I'm like, oh my God,here I am again.
Like it feels like the firsttime every time, but it's normal
(11:58):
to go through phases where youfeel out of sorts, and like you
don't recognize yourself yetanymore, but you also don't know
what's next.
To feel boredom and wanting someinterest, or to get those little
dopamine hits to feel a littlebit stirred up or destabilized,
(12:20):
especially when your system isstabilizing.
And your body is catching up toit.
I've experienced this withmoney.
Like I said, I've experienced itin my creative practice, now I
feel like I'm experiencing itin, I guess, a greater life
sense.
It's definitely in work, andit's also just in life.
(12:41):
And I think part of it is that Ihave been ultra, ultra focused
on work for the past decade plusof my life, super focused on
achievement, and something isshifting around that for me,
which I'm really interested infor sure.
I wanna see where this goes, butit's an unknown territory for me
(13:02):
because achievement has been myjam for forever.
And I think maybe this is how ithappens, like different areas of
our life get upgraded at a time,and then put into a whole, that
is our lived experience.
That's what I have for youtoday.
(13:23):
I'm so glad that you're here and that we get
to walk our paths together.
See you next time.
Same time, same place.
Bye for now.
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