The Real Housewives of Sydney - S03E06 (w/ Christian Gillett)

Just the one margarita? Not on this girls trip. Join Sam and Christian to recap all the frozen cocks and helicopter swoops of the week. Martine is SPIRALING and Krissy can’t stop the deck jokes. Tensions rise as Sally prompts the divas to recount the healing session. That and some White Lotus and RuPaul’s Drag Race.

Follow The Cringe is Real on Instagram, TikTok & Bluesky. 

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
This podcast was produced on the land of the
Wurundjeri people of the KulinNation.
Welcome to Australia.
Aussie, Aussie,

SPEAKER_02 (00:12):
Aussie.
This is kind of tragic.
Someone who is such aconnoisseur of reality
television.
The content is hideous.
So sorry about this.
Oh my God.

SPEAKER_01 (00:19):
Hello.
Hi there.
Hi, Christian.
How are you going?
Yeah, good.
Thanks, doll.
How are you?
Look, I'm good.
I would like there to be a ban.
on april fool's day yeah greatlike girl i know you were you
cringing yesterday yeah and ithink a lot of them it's like
they're just they're not evenclever anymore none of it was

(00:41):
clever like it's like you'restating the obvious so it's not
even like i've never fooled atall no and when you are it's
disappointing because it'll bethings like oh like did you see
Courtney I know I'm the host ofright which was like quite funny
and I was like oh is it really Iactually yeah for one one

(01:02):
millionth of a second I was likeshe's doing this and I was like
no though I will say shout outto Ryan Gonzalez he did a
fabulous one saying that him andJeff Van Der Zandt side show and
I was like oh my god wow theyfooled some people they really
fooled me that was I I fooledRyan in thinking that I was

(01:23):
fooled.
Yeah.
And then they were like, ohhoney, it's not real.
And I was like, girl, I don't.
But also low key, I'd love tosee a productionist on a show at
the Forum.
That'd be great.
But then I was like, I'm kind ofjoking, but also like, we'll be
into it.
Yeah, loved that.
Loved everyone jumping on boardwith that.
But like, I'm more talking aboutlike brands.
Yes.
And like media outlets hoppingon board and being like, he, he,

(01:47):
he, silly little joke.
It's like, oh.
Yeah, and when brands go like,you know, state something
incredibly obvious that wouldnever happen and they think
they're being clever, it's like,you're not.
You're really not.
Totally.
They're not even trying.
Yeah.
You know, there's some twink inthe PR department who's like, oh
my God, this is so funny.
And then it's like, not so.
And you can tell they spend alot of time.

(02:08):
on it for something that is oneday.
Plus, we all know it's coming.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Next year, I'm actually justgoing to stay at home and throw
my phone in the bin.
Yeah, it's done.
Day of silence.
We also need...
I'm very curious to get yourthoughts on gay couples doing

(02:28):
the AI Studio Ghibli trend.
Because I don't...
know if I care enough about thisbut some people some guys are
getting angry so people aregetting angry obviously because
it is explain it to me wellbasically AI is taking away work
from artists as we know fromStudio Ghibli who are really

(02:49):
struggling yeah who are reallystruggling but I think like girl
I think because you knowMiyazaki was like this is like
the tool of the devil basicallyAI right and it's taking away
from the fact that you know theypride themselves on being you
know pen to paper The anger issurprising, especially coming
from some gays that I'm like,where is this anger on like real

(03:11):
issues?
Well, that's the thing.
And I, and I look, I get, I getthe people that have issues.
Also, how is it explained to mehow it's different when it's
picked?
Cause people have been doingthis with like Pixar.
And I did it with Pixar and thenlike doubted myself afterwards
because I saw all thesecomments.
I'm sorry.
These are not like, they're notstarving artists that you're
like pinching their IP.
It's like an inspired by lookthat's computer generated.

(03:31):
I don't know.
I'm personally struggling tounderstand.
understand why it's a big deal ialso think there's no point
resisting ai it's here yeah It'squeer.
Get over it.
Yeah, and it is an interestingthing because I think it goes
through all forms of media andstuff that happened in film,
like with Adrian Brodyapparently having his accent

(03:52):
altered in The Brutalist.
What?
Yes.
Did he have his dick altered inThe Brutalist?
No, just the accent.
Or the tiny bit of it we saw?
No, just the accent apparently.
And then, you know, last yearthe people were up in arms
because Late Night with theDevil, which is an amazing
Aussie horror film, go see it.
Oh, incredible.
Incredible.
Used some AI images and I'mlike, look, this is low budget

(04:14):
yeah you know independent film iget why people are angry but
also at the same time oh is itlame absolutely if i see another
gay couple as a studio i'm gonnago guys gross but is it like
unethical Probably not.
Put your energy into realissues.

(04:35):
Exactly.
Channel that feeling.
My message to you, angry gay, ischannel that feeling.
If you're an artist, go and doart.
Go and write a song.
Go and do a thing.
Go to a protest.
Have a voice.
But whinging about somethingthat exists on this earth.

(04:58):
And has...
Like, good applications too.
Yeah, totally.
Is just kind of not it for me.
No, it's like, yeah, pick yourbattles.
Yeah, a little bit.
That are actually worthwhile.
I am kind of enjoying watchingpeople get upset, though.
It's huge.
We all know that's my favouritething to do.
Twitter, I'll never call it X.
Twitter, like, essays.

(05:20):
Threads and threads of peoplegoing, why this is, you know,
not ethical.
Yeah, I just...
For me, it's like...
Pixar's fine, but Ghibli's not.
I don't know.
Yeah, totally.
Whatevs.
Stealing art.
Make art instead.
Speaking of uninspired art, whatthe fuck's happening with Drag
Race?
Yes.
This...

(05:42):
interpretive dance routinechallenge?
Which I did love.
Did you?
I did love it, actually.
Speak

SPEAKER_00 (05:49):
on that.

SPEAKER_01 (05:50):
Mainly because Lexi annihilated it.
She did.
And I get what they were doingbecause obviously it was
referencing the vaginamonologues.
Yes.
Which I actually don't...
That was very low budget.
Yes, it was.
But I don't think it has...
I actually don't think it hasany interpretive dance in the
vagina monologues.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Yeah, I think they added that asa last...
They added that in for that.
They were like, let's make it ateam challenge.

(06:11):
Yeah.
but I thought the people thatcame to the table and were
unabashedly stupid succeeded andthat was the challenge for me
and that's why I enjoyed it youcould tell the you know the
people that struggle in thechallenge struggled because they
couldn't just surrender to theludicrous nature of it yeah but
it was you know true Lexi washilarious I thought it was

(06:35):
absolutely brilliant she wasgreat I just yeah these kids on
this show now the kids the kidsthey're just like so sincere and
like Susie Toot who is so goodat being cerebral exactly
Exactly.
And the thing is, it's reallyinteresting.
You've got the queens like Lexiand Anya who have claimed that

(06:56):
subversive nature of drag andare really proud of it versus
the young ones who really kindof battle with it.
And I think it's because I thinka lot of them don't ever want to
be seen as offensive orsomething, but there's a
difference between beingmalicious and actually
subversive, I think.
You have just answered myearlier question.
I think it's like people'snuances or like their barometers

(07:22):
of like what is and isn't kindof like not okay is like whack
these days.
And so people are just quietbecause they don't want to get
it wrong.
And it's like, it's not aboutgetting it wrong.
It's about listening to otherpeople and asking questions so
that you learn shit.
It's not about like, no one'sexpecting you to know every

(07:43):
reference to know everything.
Like the kids need to chill.
yeah absolutely yeah they'recarrying the weight of the world
they are carrying the weight ofthe world but also like look up
your herstory you know knowabout yeah in the same breath
know about stuff you know likeyou know like don't come into I
think you know and I alwaysremember one of the moments of
Drag Race that really kind ofshook me was when Jinx Monsoon

(08:05):
did Little Edie and none of theyou know the pageants knew who
Little Edie was and I'm likethis is like gay culture 101
here and they didn't know and Ifeel that's something like You
need to know your herstory.
You really do.
It's important.
And I feel like, yeah, a lot ofthe new queens are sort of just
coming up with drag races.
Their, you know, book.

(08:26):
100%.
And they, you're right.
And they're like secondhandreferences.
Like they would know about thelady through Jinx.
Exactly.
Through the lens of Jinx, butthen possibly not any further.
No, exactly.
So watch Grey Gardens, queens.
Go and watch it.
It's great.
Fucking hell.
It's also...
the penultimate week of The WildLotus.

(08:48):
It sure is.
Oofed.
What are your productions fornext week?
Look, so I think it's going togo really well for Guy Talk,
obviously.
They're going to get married.
Lisa and him are going to becomepop stars.
And she's really showing hertrue colours.
She's really lovely and reallysupports him.
So everything's going great.

(09:09):
I mean, at least they finallydid something.
I feel like we spent sixepisodes of them being like,
want to go on a date nah that istrue fucking finally and then
the date was like vicious yeahshe was like you know basically
like oh I thought you hadambition oh sorry whoops yeah I
thought you had a gun I knowwhere's your gun I thought you
were gonna bring your gun outand we were gonna fuck shit up

(09:30):
exactly on this date don't youknow that people fight that's
what we do it's human I was likefabulous and look shout out to
Lisa she's apparently thehighest paid actor on that show
and she's done the least no noI'll believe it so well done
well done Lisa that's why she'snot in it because they were like
everything Graham is fucking$300, girls.
Literally, she has been paidmore than anyone else, which I

(09:52):
think is hilarious.
Go off.
That seems correct.
Kudos.
Kudos, mama.
Exactly.
And what about, I don't know,the girlies look can I just
shout out to all of them becauseit is the one time that I
actually just want the Emmys tonominate them as one I think
they are all extraordinary Ithink I mean I've been obsessed

(10:13):
with Carrie Coon for a long timeI think she's just exquisite and
also like the look how she'slooking and just getting out
there and being fearless in thisperformance like she's
incredible she's just anabsolutely stunning woman and an
incredible actress really andthe writing on those three you
can tell has been heavilyinspired by the housewives

(10:35):
exactly like there's no ifs andsor buts about that like you know
that our girl mike white issipping rose and watching every
franchise this is likehousewives exactly this is like
you know this is where he comesalive yeah like these incredible
women that he's got in this showthat he just writes so well for

(10:56):
everyone like it's like everyhe's like worshipping every one
of these actress like they justget the best material to work
with and I think look theinteresting thing about that
whole thing is it's like eventhough like you know every week
you kind of have differentopinions about the main girls,
you know, like one week you'rereally siding with this one and
then you're not siding with thatone.

(11:17):
And it's really interesting thatthe, you know, the Trump voter
is actually kind of the mostlike in this episode was kind of
the most like emotionallymature.
Not a Trump voter.
Exactly.
You know, and it was, I just,yeah, I, I don't know.
Yeah.
I don't think they're going togo into like deep dark territory
like other characters are, but Ithink it's, you know, they're

(11:37):
absolutely falling apart.
The thing is, they weren'treally ever friends to begin
with.
This was all kind ofperformative for them.
And it's like, let's go on ourgirls trip.
But they hate each other behindclosed doors, which I just love.
And are we going to get a doubleincest moment?
Is Twink brother going to fuckthe sister as well?

(11:58):
Well, did you not think thatmoment was weird in the
monastery?
Yeah.
She was like, love you.
And he was like...
I know.
This is weird.
When he was like, I want to staytoo, her face like dropped.
And then, you know, two sceneslater, she's like wide awake in
bed and can't sleep.
Yeah.
So either it's going to be likea little thing like, oh, she's

(12:18):
deciding she doesn't want tostay in the monastery and he
does, or it's actually becausethere's history there, which I
think obviously it's beenalluded to the entire season.
And that's the thing I loveabout Mike.
He just, he goes to the deep,dark, you know, pit of human
interaction but puts it on uslike it's like oh you were
thinking that also look if mymum was a pilled out parker

(12:41):
posey i'd probably be fucking mysiblings too so i mean look
let's be real the influence ofparker posey would just kind of
you know it'd be absolute maniaso yeah and look like what a
queen like so good she is just istill say underused in this show
I do.
In my opinion.
But the scenes have been likeslayages.

(13:02):
Yeah.
And I think there's also like, Ithink, you know, I read an
interesting thing.
They all have to audition forMike.
So it's not, they don't getoffered roles, which is really
interesting.
And so she would have obviouslyhad this material and you can
definitely, even though shewould have had to audition, it
was still written as a ParkerPosey character.
Yeah.
This was a Parker Poseycharacter.

(13:23):
If you've seen all her stuff inthe Christopher Guest
mockumentaries and all thatstuff, she is serving Parker
Posey and it is extraordinary.
And I remember early on in thepiece, people were like, oh, is
this all she's doing?
And I'm like, shut up.
Yeah.
Shut up.
No, I think that's coming from aplace of, I want more.
Yeah.
I think because we were sospoiled with Jennifer Coolidge.
Like we got so much.

(13:43):
Yes.
Jen.
Yeah.
That it was like, I thinkeveryone was expecting to be
like spoiled again.
But I, liked it we weren't wewere a little bit blue balls
yeah I as a black pink girly Ifeel like I've been blue balls
by Lisa but now that I knowshe's getting fucking the bank I
know exactly so you know and Iwill say that my mum complaint

(14:04):
that I'm about not the show butthe fan reaction yeah is the
amount of people that are likeoh this is so slow that was a
filler episode you can go backand listen to every episode of
my podcast for that exactly No,but I did admit that I have
come...
I slowed down with it and thennow I'm enjoying it.

(14:27):
Yeah.
That happened like halfwaythrough.
But yeah, first three episodes,I was like, ooh.
But even if you think back toseason one and two, because
people don't remember thingsanymore.
You don't remember the start.
You just remember the end andthe thrilling ending.
Mike...
I'm referring to him on a firstname basis.
Because he's in the room.
He writes slow burns.

(14:48):
That's the thing.
This is a hark back to the watercooler TV show.
Exactly.
Where you talk about it the nextday.
What's going to happen?
Now, I guess it's a Zoom thing.
You'll be in your Zoom meetingthe next day and talking about
it.
That is kind of exciting.
Just a little bit of incest chatfor the workplace.
Why not?
At my workplace, we were talkingabout the next day and we were
talking about gay incest.

(15:09):
Isn't that hilarious?
Of course you were.
Right.
Thanks, Mike.
Well, let's get into the girls.
Oh, yes.
But before we do, I need toshamelessly plug my live show.
Oh, yes, of course.
And my socials.
So, follow The Cringest Reel,Blue Sky, TikTok, Instagram.
And come to my fucking liveshow.
It's going to be so fun.

(15:30):
It's on Good Friday.
It's on Good Friday.
I know.
It's on Good Friday during theComedy Festival.
Why have I done this to myself?
I don't know.
But look.
It'll be fun.
It will be.
It'll be gang girly.
We're going to talk AustralianSurvivor because that will have
just finished.
And we're going to talk maths.
And we're going to talk dragrace.
And you've got Ash Flanders.

(15:50):
Yeah.
Yep.
Who, you know, really hastrouble talking.
I'm really worried it's justgoing to be like an empty
silence.
It will be.
Yeah, it will be.
Hates a microphone.
Really.
So, yeah, get your tics.
See you there.
I'll put you on the door, doll.
Thanks, doll.
We'll see you there.
Yeah.
Alright, this episode, it wascalled Ice Ice Maybe.

(16:10):
Wonderful.
Wonderful title.
Thank you, Pinch.
Doing great work.
And previously on The RealHousewives of Sydney, the girls
headed to Aotearoa, New Zealand.
Sons, Nicole and Caroline.
Are we...
How deep dive have you gone withthe tea on Caroline?

(16:33):
Not hugely on Caroline.
Um...
But I've got to say, I mustadmit with Nicole, I'm like,
doll, get that paycheck and notshow up.
Oh, you're into it.
No, like...
I'm like, bye.
I'm like, don't get the paycheckbecause you're not there.
Agreed.
But it's like, she's doing it.
She's getting the money andshe's never on it.
I don't know how it works here,but I'm pretty sure with Bravo,

(16:55):
if you're not in that episode,you get absolutely nothing.
They even take them out of theopening title sequence
sometimes.
Yeah.
They're still in the openingtitle sequence.
They keep Nicole.
If you're a classic like me, youdon't need a comeback.
Exactly.
Well, yeah, you haven't comeback to the show.
No, not at all.
I don't think she's been on itfor like two episodes, has she?

(17:16):
Yeah.
Yeah, it's two episodes.
She had her moment at the dinnerand then stormed off.
So that's another thing I wantto ban.
Storming off.
Yeah, storming off.
Unless you're doing it in themost cunty way.
But literally just walking outof the room.
Yeah.
Oh, come on.
We've just had too much of it.

(17:37):
It's like...
And nothing's ever been a bitKyle in Amsterdam.
No, but also like when there'sone every now and then, it's
good.
But when it's every episode...
And the hysterics andeverything, it's like, yes, we
get it.
Yeah.
So we start with a helicopterride, which Montana is no
stranger to because, you know,she loves to heli-ski.
Oh, yeah.

(17:57):
And monocle diving.
Centropy.

UNKNOWN (18:00):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (18:00):
I know she'd actually, yeah, because she'd
been in Saint-Tropez, did youknow?
She's not mentioned it.
No, she hasn't, no.
The only way to see Monaco is byhelicopter.
Exactly.
Everyone knows that.
Yeah.
Cut back to Chrissy at thehouse.
So, I love this.
It's like, we're all goingheliskiing, but there's only
like four seats or something?

(18:21):
Or Chrissy and Sally just didn'twant to do it?
No.
It looks scary.
Yeah.
I would have shat myself.
Yeah.
And, you know, that helicopterwas, as we know, it was going
around in circles.
It was doing, yeah.
When it started doing littletricks, my mind went to a place
of Society of Snow.
And I was like, imagine if theycrashed.

(18:42):
Because Dr.
Kate says at one point, she'slike, I can see the headlines.
Sydney Morning Herald,housewives dead.
Helicopter crash.
And I was like, yeah.
And then I was picturing, like,we think they're dead, but
they're actually dead.
out there on the mountain.
Who would eat who first?
Oh, I mean, Martine.
I think they would.
Yeah, she's the new girl.

(19:02):
They'd be like, oh, we don'treally know you.
Sorry, babe.
She'd be like, look, guys, allthis talk about who's getting
eaten first is really fuckingboring.
It's just so boring.
I just can't.
I'm over it.
I just can't.
She just slides down themountain.
But I like Chrissy and Sally.
They're like, oh, we're havingso much fun drinking tea.

(19:23):
At the hotel.
What?
Yeah, no.
Go and do something else.
Like, yeah, you know, go to abar.
Go have another skinny bitch.
That's all you drink anyway.
Go and have another one.
I reckon it was actually askinny bitch in the mug.
It would have been.
Yeah.
Chrissy doesn't drink anythingelse no I don't think she does
does she she loves a deck jokeshe loves oh dick dick she goes

(19:44):
oh love Sally's dick I'll get itbecause we're in New Zealand
we're in New Zealand yeah nogood on her fucking love Chrissy
so much she's so great whatwould this show be without
Chrissy and her dick jokes yeahI think you know it's like she's
just so unashamed about beingcrass which I love it's really

(20:05):
like I'm you know and it's likeIt's something that I feel like
is like, you know, is reallyintegral to Australian
housewives is that level ofvulgarity.
It's so important.
And it's something thatseparates us.
I've never called you a cunt.
I don't know what you're talkingabout.
So good.
You know, I might not be agynecologist, but I'm not a cunt

(20:29):
when I say one.
Insignificant asshole hair.
Like so good.
That is, you know, and it's thething that like, you know, when
you talk to the fans of the US,they really do really get
connect with the Australianshows in a very different way
titillated by how vulgar we arethere was a micro pearl clutch
from Chrissy this episode lateron I think when they're talking

(20:50):
about the ice cock and she'slike I could never do that
because of Melania and Johnnythat's right and I was like
sorry you literally yeah talkingabout sucking dick all day yeah
literally but now it's drinkingskinny bitches and sucking dick
that's why we love you bitchthat's your mode of operation
that should just be her taglinenext season and drinking skinny

(21:12):
bitches and sucking dicks.
Heaven.
Where are we?
Back on the chopper.
They do all kinds of swoops andtricks.
And then this is when I wouldhave done a little poo.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When Martine decides to...
You know, be like, oh, I'm goingto vomit.
And then Victoria gets out thevomit bags.

(21:33):
Yes.
Which are not the kind of bags Iwant to see on my girls' trip.
No, that's correct.
But, you know, I also just lovethe fact that, you know,
Martine's just like, is justholding it in because she's
like, I'm not vomiting in thatbag.
Not in that.
Not in that bag.
It's not even melanziaga,darling.
Exactly.
Yeah.
It's actually this moment whereI'm like, Caroline would have

(21:53):
been great in the chopper.
She would have been, yeah.
She would have told them all toshut up.
Yeah, she would have been, shutup! Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Those big titties.
Actually, I do love Caroline.
Well, if they crashed, you know.
Yeah, oh, exactly.
Yeah, support.
Support.
Grab on to Caroline, everyone.
I've got to say, Caroline thisseason, like, she's starting,

(22:17):
but also...
kind of happy for a bit of mixup like it's nice to not have
her on the trip just so we havedifferent groups yeah happening
i don't know yeah and look ithink it's also just as much as
you know we love drama it's likeThe thing between them and Kate

(22:37):
is getting kind of exhausting.
I'm just kind of like...
Oh, my God.
Beyond.
Beyond exhausting.
It's just like...
Now it's about like, oh, shedidn't want to hug you.
Oh, my God.
And now she's into like darkmagic or something, you know?
It's...
Because...
This is the other thing.
So much is happening off camera.
Too much.
Yeah.
The intercom.
Spill it, spill it, spill it.

(22:58):
No, I don't know.
Oh.
I'm just saying the...
No, they're talking about it onthe show.
They're like, oh, the intercom.
When, you know...
There was fisticuffs.
And I'm like, excuse me?
You didn't catch that on camera,you fucking idiot.
Yeah.
They just finished the healingsession with Shine, Shine,
Shine.
You didn't think to like...
chase after them with cameras tothe bar.

(23:20):
Exactly.
How dumb.
And, like, not even followingChrissy when she went off in
there, like, all we heard wasthe boys, which I thought was
quite funny.
That was good, yeah.
Maybe there's a thing where it'slike, if they leave, it's
like...
I wonder, yeah.
There's a safe word.
Yeah.
I'm out.
Oh, fuck.
All right.
So, Sally is a chill girlie.

(23:42):
Yeah, she's really chill.
Yeah.
She's kind of like, look...
On my girl's trip, because youremember she's allegedly
organized this trip.
With no help from production.
No.
She's like, on my girl's trip,like, you can just do what you
want to do, do what you don'twant to do.
Just, you know, I'm chill.
Yeah.
She's just going with the flows.
Yeah.
She's like, the vibes are good.

(24:03):
Like, for now.
For now.
Yeah.
uh yeah it's snooze back at thehotel but yeah back to the
mountain yeah the girls have asnow fight yeah and montano
tells us that the biv packs ahard snowball yeah which checks
out i was like yeah yeah itlooked painful and they still

(24:24):
managed to have a glass ofbubbles which this whole bit was
i'm sorry this was chic like interms of like global housewives
like girls trips yeah some ofthese shots i was like this is
impressive yeah and it makes mewant i've never been into New
Zealand haven't you which isinsane it literally looks like
that yeah extraordinary likeit's stunning yeah it's wild
yeah but like I gotta sayQueenstown it's all about the

(24:47):
adventure shit like the actualtown

SPEAKER_00 (24:52):
yeah not much

SPEAKER_01 (24:53):
it's really touristy yeah and kind of like it feels
like a a ski resort like villageit doesn't feel like an actual
city yeah if that makes senseyeah yeah totally as you can see
by this week like all of thestaff at all the hotels they're
all like working holiday visabrits yeah like the gay at the
ice bar who we will get to andalso at the restaurant might I
add oh my god like they havethey've gotten the brief and

(25:15):
they're like I'm doing thistonight everyone else Martin is
on front of house tonight he'sthe maitre d' yeah he's like
he's quitting if he's not doingit like they but you will not
meet a Kiwi in Queenstownthere's none there it's all
tourism one of them wasn't Idon't think no none of them are
and I'm saying like when we wentlast year literally we did not

(25:37):
meet a Kiwi person in Queenstownit's all like backpacks working
it's all like internationalbusinesses it feels very like a
tourist destination it doesn'tkind of like I don't know when
you get like certain parts ofQueensland that are really
touristy it's like that likeeveryone is there to visit and
then you drive like a few hoursaway to some place small town
and like you're like oh oh wowthis is a now i'm in new zealand

(26:01):
it's like yeah yeah real but youknow yeah shoes but like they're
showing it off well you knowyeah you know i'm like i'd go to
that bar which they're they werealone at but you know like i'd
go there exactly so for thedinner tonight the girls have a
private room at the ibern ibernauburn Where we had our first

(26:25):
gay waiter of the night.
Yes.
Gay waiter number one.
Montano tells us that Tim, herhusband, was asleep during their
whole trip recently.
I love this bitch.
Like, so, she's basicallytelling us, she's like, best
holiday I ever went with myhusband.
He was asleep the whole time.
Like, did she drug him?

(26:46):
Like...
great for you it sounds greatyeah like that sounds fabulous
you went and did your shoppingand had your you know she's like
i went for a run he was asleepyeah i don't think yeah yeah i
fucked the hotel manager she waslike what it was no nothing yeah
no no exactly yeah did a line ofcoke oh well i was used to sleep
yeah exactly like it's so good iwas kind of like okay But

(27:07):
Montana is actually quite fun.
Like, when everyone around heris down to, like, lol, she kind
of opens up.
Yes.
I actually think she's quitefun.
Yeah.
It's when people are kind of, Idon't know, getting stuck on
stuff, she gets a bit bored.
Yeah.
She kind of just goes in, like,disassociates, doesn't she?
100%.
Yeah.
She's like, can't we just eatour lobster?
I know.
And drink our wine?

(27:27):
I was like, yes, bitch.
Like, I'm her.
Let's just do that.
Why are we talking shit?
A lot of disassociating in thisepisode as well.
Oh, yeah.
um dr kate tells us um thatshe's been a bit cheeky and
she's uh the trips are a workright off because you know
binges pay for them to go overthere so she's just tacked on a

(27:48):
little date afterwards i waslike love that and you know what
dr kate i know you're whatyou'll probably be watching this
or listening to this well donedoll well proud of you you
deserve this you absolutelydeserve this you work very it's
a work trip and then just likeinvite some like dick over yeah
absolutely love your work youknow she's had a rough last year

(28:09):
so she deserves this dick andthe girls are like oh yeah they
kind of pry for like two secondsand then we'll be like oh yeah
cool they're like interested butnot like there was no real care
after that I would have beenlike show me a pic of this guy
I'd be like inches like come onall of it Fucking hell.

(28:30):
No, they quickly pivot to petsin prams.
Oh, yes.
How do you feel about Ernie, thepug?
Look, he's very cute.
I'm into Ernie.
Yeah, no, I love Ernie.
You know, we're both dog lovers.
So anytime there's a dog, I'll,you know, drop.
A dog with a tongue permanentlystuck out is like heaven.
Is literally heaven.

(28:51):
So cute.
Shout out to Pilaf Moore, theultimate tongue out of the
mouth.
But like any dog with a tongueout of its mouth.
Yeah.
Because of its teeth or lackthereof.
Pilaf was robbed at the dogOscars.
Robbed at the dog Oscars.

UNKNOWN (29:06):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (29:06):
Yeah, so they move on from that.
Oh, another Montana moment.
She's like, I'm just not abitchy person.

SPEAKER_00 (29:12):
Oh,

SPEAKER_01 (29:15):
doll.
Doll.
Never change.
Never change.
Then, of course, we go rightback to the healing session.
Because Sally's like, how wasit?
Sally's really shit-stirring onbehalf of the producers, I
believe.
I was like, well done.
I think the producers were like,look, Sally, we're going to give
you a deal.
You can claim the trip thatwe've organized.

(29:38):
All you have to do is ask thesequestions at these moments.
She's like, sure.
And the first one was, how wasthe healing session, girls?
Fantastic.
Like she didn't know.
And Dr.
Kate says, it was a train wreck,Sal.
It was...
That...

(29:59):
That whole episode.
Look, if anything from thehealing session that I got is
that hopefully it's a littletaste of things to come and
hopefully Jackie's going to beback and we're getting it.
But hopefully...
It was great marketing forJackie.
Yeah.
She timed it really well withher Zoom watch party.
I know.
Yes, very good.
I didn't.
Oh, no, I didn't either.
No.
Oh, God, we're bad.

(30:19):
No.
So, if you only listen to myHousewives recaps...
and you don't listen to myAustralian Survivor Recaps, go
back last week and listen to myAustralian Survivor Recap with
Dan Morrison because he talks atlength about his experience at
the Jackie Watch Party.

(30:41):
So there's a whole bit at thestart where he talks about his
experience online at Jackie'sWatch Party.
And it is wild.
Did they cut loose?
She's a genius.
Like she just, yeah, she'slike...
You're on her mailing list forlife now.
Oh, yeah.
For all of her shine, shine,shine.
Oh, absolutely.
And she's coming to town soon.
Is she?

(31:01):
Yeah.
Are you going to get a reading?
I'd love to.
I would fucking love a readingfrom her.
I actually know someone that gota reading from her.
Yeah.
And said it was like...
Oh, really?
Yeah.
And it was like, cheers.
But...
Like, yeah, she gives you, like,whether you believe in it or
not, whatever, she knows whatshe's doing.
She knows how to serve it.

(31:22):
Sally goes, so what was Jackie'srole exactly in the healing
session?
And I was like, great question,Sally.
Really great question.

UNKNOWN (31:32):
Like...

SPEAKER_01 (31:34):
I don't fucking know.
Yeah.
She was there to, like, save thefranchise?
I think, yes.
No, because it's like, you know,was she there as a therapist?
Was she there as her psychicself?
What was she doing?
She chucked in a little, forfree...
Your grandma Maria's here.
Oh, talking to Maria right now.
Oh, yep.

(31:54):
I love that she just shamelesslychucked that in.
You're getting a country house.
Remember that?
That was fantastic.
You've got to move to thecountry.
It was great.
Something about the country.
Yep.
A house.
So good.
Oh, God, don't you miss her?
I really, really, truly do.
Come back to binge, Jackie.

(32:14):
We need you.
We miss you.
Yeah.
She's on the books, so it's allgood.
Martine says that no healinghappened and that it was a shit
show.
Which it was.
Correct.
There was no healing.
No lies detected.
No.
No.
There was actually, like, what'sthe opposite of healing?
Death, sickness and destruction.

(32:37):
There was non-healing.
Non-healing.
That was performed.
I actually think it was demonic.
Yes, it was demonic.
It was not a god.
Well, somebody's doing blackmagic now, so...
Yes.
We never got that elaborated on.
No.
Surely we'll circle back toblack magic.

(32:59):
Yeah, we have to circle back toblack magic.
Chrissy is sus that Terry andJackie had a heavy briefing
before the show.
I loved it.
She's like...
I think that you've actuallytold Jackie everything before.
And Terry goes, no, no.
I fucking love Terry.
She's like, no.
It's just a very light briefing,actually.

(33:21):
Just a little light briefing.
She'd actually be reallyinsulted that you're bringing
that up and that you'requestioning her ability.
Are you questioning Jackie'sgift, Chrissy?
Because that would actually bereally offensive.
So good.
So good.
But also, was she there as asidekick before?
We don't.
So we don't know.
If she was there as a psychicand she was brief, okay, maybe.

(33:42):
Yeah.
But look, you know, I thinkTerry probably was like, you
know, doll, I got these friends.
And well, I guess she did briefher in the week before.
Yeah.
We saw the briefing.
We saw the briefing.
But like, it wasn't, I mean, itwas pretty brief.
Yeah, it was a very briefbriefing.
Like, you know, she wasn't, youknow, but I didn't think the
whole thing was at all supposedto be psychic.
There wasn't necessarily aconnection to, you know, the

(34:04):
psychic world.
Chrissy was like, look, it washell.
It was demonic.
And then she tells us about thesituation at the intercom, which
was the real healing session, Ithink.
The girls off camera at theintercom.
And she's like, that's where wesprung, Terry, because we rocked
up and Terry was already thereand blah, blah, blah, blah,

(34:25):
blah.
And they get back into that.
And this is where I wish we hadmore creative producers where
they could have done like adramatic reenactment perhaps.
Yeah, something.
Get some texts up on the screen.
Do something.
And I feel like we miss, youknow, in the other, in the US
versions.
Yeah.
Where we do get that off camerafootage, you know.

(34:47):
Do you watch Potomac?
No.
They do.
you would love it yeah startfrom the start it's so good they
do things like because they'rehaving a lot of fun on that
franchise they do things as wildas dramatic reenactments and
like like super imposing imagesof other people and like
distorting them like they dothey do really really camp like

(35:10):
graphics on screen in potomacbecause it's like it's one of
the franchises where they'rejust like really leaning into
the campery of it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I wish we would, yeah, dothat.
Yeah, I feel like we always getthese references to off-camera
moments.
Yeah.
It's like there's no, you know,at least in the, you know, like
Salt Lake City, it'll then go tolike actual footage.
Yeah.

(35:31):
Well, yeah, Salt Lake City,they've got GoPros in their
handbags.
Exactly.
And Britney.
Yeah.
So they're recording everyone.
And then, or if it was BeverlyHills, for example, they would
have Radar Online, like aheadline and swoop over or
something.
We need like a little bit moreof that.
We need a little bit more of it.
Yeah.
Because we're just not, yeah, weneed those moments.
DMs or something.

(35:51):
Yeah, totally.
Then when Jackie's gift isthrown into question,
miraculously Terry's earringfalls off and they're like, oh,
it's a clear sign.
It's a clear sign.
It's a sign from Jackie.
So good.
Shine, shine, shine.
Jackie, come back.
Come back.
And then Martine pulls upChrissy for her eye roll whilst

(36:15):
allegedly defending her.
This is where Martine is likestarting to spiral.
And I'm like, girl, I don'tknow.
So I'm a big eye roller.
I'm a huge eye roller in reallife.
And I do it over things that arenot actually eye roll worthy.
Great.
I just noticed that I do it.
You dramatic bitch.
Yeah, just always over the topbut like it's not actually and i

(36:36):
wonder if chrissy's the same itdidn't feel like she was i think
she was eye rolling just overthe situation agreed not
martine's you know interaction ithink martine is gorgeous
stunning stunning hilariousfucking sensitive very sensitive
and from one sensitive girl toanother martine i get it totally

(36:57):
but also yes chrissy's justshe's a vivacious character yep
She's a gregarious character.
And it's really interesting.
She's Chrissy fucking Marsh.
She's Chewie.
She's their big hair unit.
Exactly.
And...
Going back to the Noosa trip,like, I don't feel like anything
Chrissy does is reallymalicious.
There's no...

(37:18):
She's a larrikin and she's, youknow, she's unashamedly vulgar
and is proud of it.
And, you know, and I thinkthat's, like, her kind of the
way that she operates is justthat.
And it's, like, you know, I loveMartine.
She's, you know, there's, youknow, bringing, you know, a lot
of great new stuff.

(37:38):
But it's, like, dull.
Like...
Did you watch the last season?
Did you watch the last season?
I feel like...
Yeah.
Just know what you're cominginto and go, look, all right,
this might not be somebody I'dbe friends with, but at least I
know that what they give isn'tpersonal.
If they do, you know, it's justwho they are.
I think she watched it andunderestimated, like, how easy

(38:01):
it was going to be to slot in.
Totally.
Or something.
Because...
I think she wants to be...
She wants it to be like thisfun, effortless girls' trip.
But it's like, honey...
It's not.
You're literally just, like, agroup of randoms.
Like, I know she has, like,actual links to Montano and,
like, we see that with theirfriendship and she's

(38:22):
comfortable.
I think she's the sort of personthat only opens up and is
comfortable around people thatshe, like, chooses.
Which is, like, a little bitpretentious, no?
Yeah, absolutely.
Or something.
And it's like, you know, youjoin the show, obviously it will
give you, you know...
more followers and all that kindof stuff which you know which
let's be real we love which welove but like you you are going

(38:45):
into a show and you're goinginto you know something that you
know all these women are piecedtogether from various different
aspects of Sydney life andyou've only got to look at well
from each side of Double Bayexactly but like when a new girl
my favourite new girl ofHousewives Bronwyn who joined in
Salt Lake City that's how you doit that's how you do it she ate
Bronwyn and Bose I think yes Ithink Bronwyn and Bose this year

(39:09):
like eight yeah like they camein fresh and they were like do
you know what like I'm gonna actlike I have been here the whole
time that's what you gotta doyou gotta part of the furniture
asking questions being like heywhy the fuck did you just do
that or whatever even if youdon't know this person
whatsoever and they don'tactually like when they first
get on like you know they've gotto try and pretend to be friends

(39:31):
but it's like martin is not uhjoining that club unfortunately
but there's still time because igotta say first all the episodes
until this one yeah i have beena huge yes martin stan living
for the megan doll aestheticliving for the kids menu living
for the parasols the parasolsbring back she got her husband

(39:54):
on camera none of these otherbitches yeah that is true where
the fuck are the other husbandsyeah nowhere to be seen so for
all of that i say well done yeahthis is like unfortunately the
kind of drama that i don't likeon the show yeah because it's
like it's tantrum i feel likethis episode for her as we will

(40:15):
obviously get to yeah was justan episode where she obviously
wasn't feeling comfortable andit just hasn't really kind of
worked out how to exist in thismatrix of housewives but not
feeling comfortable becausepeople are like talking about
things that you don't think areinteresting is judgmental and
snobby that is that is like I'msorry that is like absolutely

(40:37):
how that is yeah there isn'tlike you cannot change my mind
no that is true but if you'reuncomfortable because people are
saying things that are offensivethat's all thing then I'm then
I'm Listening.
And that's the thing.
But I don't, I didn't see that.
Yeah, and when she confrontedChrissy about it, you know, and
that it was seen as too woke.

(40:59):
The woke wank train.
The woke wank train.
Choo-choo all aboard.
Exactly, yeah.
And, you know, for me, I waslike, no, good.
Martine is standing up forherself.
She's setting what herboundaries are, which are really
important.
That doesn't make you work, bythe way.
True.
That's just being what Iconsider a normal human being

(41:19):
that just values themselves.
And I think she was really goodat that.
And, but yeah, this episode, itwas the beginning of the spiral,
wasn't it?
Big time.
Oh, there's more to come.
They do a cheers and Chrissy'slike, yeah, cheers to hugging.
I love, she just always has toput her foot in it.
And Martini's not impressed bythat.
So good.

(41:39):
But we end there, the dinner.
The next day, Montano andChrissy are in the hot tub.
Yeah.
Agenda points.
Yes.
Wow.
Victoria Motano says she doesn'teven go for a walk around the
block with her husband withoutagenda points.
I know.
Excuse me?
Yeah, but, like, how does sheexist?

(41:59):
But is this, like, is thisbecause she goes on tangents?
Like, she needs to be, like,reined in?
I'm confused.
I think so.
Like, you can tell, like, yousee the cogs turning in her head
at all times.
Oh, yeah, she's got a lot goingon.
She's got a lot going on.
And she, I think, has a veryhyperactive mind.
New, like, endangered speciesthat she could, like, turn into,
like, fashion.

(42:20):
Yeah, exactly.
Oh God, I forgot about that.
Oh my God.
I bring that up every week andmy guest always goes, oh my God,
I forgot about the furs.
I'm like, I didn't.
Literally the drama of lastseason.
Yeah.
One of.
One of, yeah.
But like, one of not that much.
No.
Yeah.
Last season was a struggle.

(42:40):
I'm sorry.
Yeah, it was.
This one is already better.
Oh God, yeah.
This one's already killing it.
Yeah.
And I actually think Martine is,Is a big part of that Oh hugely
Yeah I think she's She's liftingheavy She really is And it's
like Yeah she's bringing anenergy And she's You know As
much as like In this episode Ithink she was like You know

(43:02):
going down a spiral and you knownot really you know making it
more about her like she ispretty cool where she's just
like no I didn't feel that wayabout what so and so said I
think you're being a bitunreasonable like she calls it
out which I think is really goodbecause I don't think you know
and I don't think people likeChrissy and stuff have actually
been called out so directly bysomeone that is not close in the

(43:24):
group I do like watching Chrissysquirm so I'm looking forward to
more of that back to the hot tubthough the They are proud of
Chrissy zipping it last night.
They're like, good work, girl.
Yeah, I know.
Because she's like, yeah, Itried really hard to...
keep my mouth shut last night.

(43:45):
I was like, bitch, you likecheers to hugging.
I know.
You were like, yeah.
Well, that's a lot less for her.
At least she didn't cheers tolike sucking dick and skinny
bitches, which is what shewanted to do.
But yeah.
Then I love this.
Sally and Martine come out andthey're like, oh, hey girls in
the hot tub here.
Can we fetch you a skinny bitch?

(44:07):
I know.
And then, you know, I love that,you know, she's like, Sally kind
of got a bit offended that theywere in the hot tub.
Sally?
Like, what was that?
I It's so weird.
She's like, huh, girls, you'reon my trip that I've paid for
and you're in my hot tub.
I'm like, sorry?
But when you say, I'm reallychill, like just, you know.
Do what you want.
Yeah, do what you want.

(44:27):
So they're not allowed to usethe hot tub.
It's not like it's on a bedroom.
But they're already in there.
Yeah.
So confused.
And I'm sure there's room forone more.
There looked like there wasplenty of room.
Nah, Sally would never.
No.
She's not a hot tub girl.
No.
But the principle of the matteris they were in the hot tub.
Sally's like, speaking of hot,Martine, how are you feeling
about last night?

(44:47):
That was tremendous.
I loved that segue.
Sally, I was like, give her thecheck right now.
Literally like being whackedover the head with a hammer.
It was as subtle as that.
It was so good.
She was Tracy Grimshaw.
She was like, so Martine, lastnight, how do you feel about
that?
She was giving Karen a fairrealness.
What was happening last night atthe dinner?

(45:08):
that you didn't speak on, butI'd like you to speak on it now
while I make this skinny bitchright now in the kitchen.
Thank you, my team.
So good.
And I love that they were like,oh, just talk me through the
dimensions of that.
What are the pourings of askinny bitch?
I'm like, really?
Bitch! Isn't it just vodka andsoda?
Vodka and soda, a bit of lime.
Yeah, it's not that hard, doll.

(45:28):
Lime juice, not lime cordial.
No, never.
Oh, no, that'd be extracalories.
That's a fat bitch.
Yeah, that's...
Because you know when you're outand you order one and they put
the cordial in and you're likeno excuse me no absolutely no
it's not okay no why would youoh where are you going like pubs

(45:48):
that like don't have oh yeahyeah you know in this economy
exactly that is true but you cango down to Woolies and get a
nice bottle of the lime juiceyou know you'll be fine She,
yeah, look, I think Martine'sdoing a great job of having a
problem with something.
She's A plus for having anissue.
She's like, look, I'm justhaving problems with Chrissy for

(46:10):
seemingly no reason.
And then I was like...
We haven't really talked or donemuch, but you know, I've got a
real issue.
If you can't explain the issuein like...
one second go elevator pitch youfucking lost me like I love a
good whinge and a good bitchyeah of course that's why we
watch this show exactly but ifyou can't give me the cliff

(46:31):
notes of why Chrissy's anannoying bitch in like one
sentence exactly you haveliterally lost me yeah agreed
and unfortunately whereas youknow the last time she
confronted Chrissy I feel likeshe actually did have reason
she's yeah you know she was likeI felt like I was hazed even if
that wasn't the case she atleast came with a reason yeah
and then that language wasapparently too extreme yeah i

(46:55):
know as we learned from noelbecause hazing is alive and well
in the sororities of double bayi know exactly no the sororities
of new york oh oh he's okaythat's why yeah yeah yeah
because she's here we go withthe fact checker i was like
what's going on of course noel'sin fucking new york because
she's a rich bitch exactly she'sin new york Full fee paying, no

(47:18):
scholarship there.
Oh, Chessie Keeble.
Chessie! We need a vibe check onChessie.
Yeah, how's Chessie going?
What's she doing?
She still in LA?
Flying into the DMs, doll.
How are you doing, doll?
Is she in LA still?
Yeah.
She needs a reality show.
Yeah, I love Chessie Keeble.
Fucking love her.
She's so great.
Oh, yeah.
So, if you can explain it to me,I'd love that.

(47:39):
But I actually, at this momentin the show, I don't know what
Chrissy's done to upset Martine.
No, neither.
Besides an alleged eye roll,which I'm like...
And as I said, I feel like ifChrissy's an eye roller, you can
just do it over nothing.
If it's in your personality todo it, she's just doing it.

(47:59):
She's like, do I need to bemute?
She thinks that everyone isannoyed and finds her annoying.
Is that what's happening?
Maybe, but also she doesn'treally talk much.
That's what I'm saying.
She's not actually...
It's like she's being shut down,but I'm like, but you're not
trying...
No.
In the first place?

(48:20):
And she's just kind of like, Ithink she thinks they should be
making more of an effort withher.
Yeah.
Which, you're the new girl.
You've got to come on.
I think the hazing thing islike, yeah, damn right you're
being hazed.
You're new.
Prove that you should be here.
And you're on Real Housewives ofSydney.

(48:41):
Exactly.
I say life is an audition andyou better fucking show up.
Yeah.
Or Mike White's not casting youin the next season.
And we know how it went forSusie, so...
Oh, my God.
Not Susie.
Not Susie.
Fuck.
Oh my God.
Okay, so cut to an ice bar.

(49:01):
This was- This was actuallytremendous.
This was great.
It was really great.
I love when they get, you know,a bar that wants them in there,
you know, wants them to come inand there's like a 10 minute
sequence of absolutely nothingthat adds anything to the show
except- Just perfect.
This English gay was heaven.

(49:22):
Heaven.
This English gay waiter, he'slike, all right, girls, do you
like gin?

UNKNOWN (49:27):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (49:28):
And they're like, okay.
And don't put your drink down.
Don't put your drink down.
It'll slide right off, girls.
He was like so intense.
And they're like, all right.
And then they're trying to getin to the chat.
And two seconds in, Terry's likedistracted by a big cock.

(49:50):
A big ice cock.
She's like, excuse me, what'sthat over there?
Is that a...
An ice penis?
Yeah, it is.
He's like, yeah, you can doshots through it.
Get on your knees.
He gets him on the knees.
And then, of course, they getsome great like promo shot, like
trailer bait.

(50:10):
Kate completely misses her shot.
Doesn't get a single drop of itin her mouth.
Which we would never.
No, exactly.
Terry very good at it oh verygood at it and she was quite
proud of that I think the gaywas like best performance of the
day and then she was like hangon do you clean this he's like
yeah sure yeah we wash it I lovethat everyone how would you wash

(50:30):
an ice oh my god how would youdo that well everyone that's
ever worked in a hospital willknow this moment where someone
goes do you clean that and youranswer is just like yeah yeah
and then you Look, completelylying.
Well, look, it's got a lot ofbooze going down at multiple
times a night.
That'll kill the germs.
That's killing the germs.
Yeah, exactly.
But I loved it.
I was like, how are you washingan ice sculpture?

(50:52):
Just giving the tip a wipe.
Someone comes in with like alittle microfiber cloth.
It goes in and out.
Sounds the big ice cog.
Sounds the big ice cog.
So good.
And then look, they needed thisice cock to really like break
the tension of the show.
And also break the ice.

(51:13):
Yeah.
Oh, actually stop right there.
Ice, ice, maybe shit titleshould have been break the ice.
Ice cock.
I don't know.
Terry's really good at this saysKate.
Anyway, back to the Margie bar.
Now we're at the Margie bar.

(51:33):
Oh, This was great.
I love...
You know that Queenstown is likethe place to be because they
have bars that have neon signs.
Exactly.
That say things like...
One margarita.
One margarita.
Two margaritas.
Question mark.
Yeah, fantastic.
We love a pink neon sign.
Pink neon sign.
Yeah.
God, they've really just gotlike...
Yeah.
Some really trendy shithappening.

(51:53):
Yeah.
In Queenstown.
In this really popping off bar.
Oh, it was.
Only they were in.
Popping off.
Yeah.
It actually was very reminiscentto their last girls trip in
Japan where they spent the wholething in like the lobby bar with
no one around.
And I was like, come on.
Why are you in the lobby bar?
Go out.
Yeah, exactly.
Anyway.
Chrissy and Sally are therefirst.

(52:14):
And Chrissy lies and says, oh,this is actually my first drink
of the day.
That was great.
And I don't know, but she had atleast two skinny...
We saw her drink all of theskinny bitches in the hot tub.
So I love that.
She's like, oh, just for therecord.
My first drink of the day.
I've actually never had amargarita in my whole life.
What do they taste like?

(52:34):
So good.
Which wouldn't surprise mebecause she only seems to drink
skinny bitches.
Yeah.
So...
Yeah, mixing it up.
Yeah.
The Biv and Kate rock up.
The good doctor.
And they tell the girls allabout the ice cock shots, of
course, because it's the onlyexciting thing that's happened
on the trip.
Like, actually, pretty much.
I mean, yeah, the helicopter wasfun, but it was all about the
ice cock.

(52:55):
Yeah.
Chrissy's like, oh, it wasn't areal cock.
Boring.
That was great.
Loved her.
Then the Bobsy twins arrive.
And already Martine can't handlethe dick jokes.
Like Martine was shut down fromthe moment she was set foot in
that bar.
It's like a covert pearl clutch.

(53:17):
Because like a pearl clutch isvisible and we all see it.
We all know that you'reoffended.
But she's doing it in areally...
Which is a covert pearl clutchis even worse.
Yeah.
And look, I've been insituations where I've been
guilty of like disassociating ifI'm not interested.
Like I get it.
Yeah.
But like...
that because someone was beinglike I don't know really like

(53:39):
bigoted or something.
Yeah.
At least.
Or just not interesting.
But.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
You know.
Totally.
You know, but at least I'll, youknow, kind of like smile and nod
politely.
What?
Because they were talking aboutlike investment banking or
something.
Yeah, exactly.
See, that's fine.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Talking about like cock shots.
Yeah.
Great.
Yeah.
It's a girl's trip.
It's a girl's trip.
We're in a margarita bar.

(53:59):
I think, is it Terry?
We're in a margarita bar on agirl's trip.
We can't talk about penis.
What else are we going to talkabout?
Yeah, exactly.
Of course, we're talking aboutthe ice cock luge.
Exactly.
so but she was shut down fromthe moment she entered like she
was true she was not wanting tobe I think it was the neon sign
it wouldn't have look sheprobably she didn't bring a
parasol and that might haveaffected you know you never know

(54:20):
what's up UV these days the UVrays were interfering with her
mechanics and she wasmalfunctioning I think that's
what happened yeah it was a yeahthey you know got it down from a
you know closed down solariumshop and made it into a UV sign
exactly she could tell Victoriatells us that she doesn't plan

(54:44):
on getting old.
I love this.
She's like, aging?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Not for me.
No.
It's like, okay.
So what are you going to do?
I don't know.
Yeah.
A lot of Botox.
Yeah.
Then they, yeah, they talk, thisis funny, the willingness to
talk about all of the things.
It's like Botox and getting yourtits done and Victoria's like, I

(55:05):
love having my small boobs.
And then, did we see like fullnip?
We saw full nip.
Amazing.
We saw full nip and shehighlighted that she.
She was like, yeah.
Full nip.
Great.
I love that little sheer.
It was gorgeous.
It was actually really gorgeous.
It was hot.
Because it was red and it hadthis like, it really like, it
felt really classy and beautifuland even with the nips.

(55:25):
And she's like, I'm nevergetting fake tits because I love
having my small boobs.
Well, she's got a very busyschedule of doing stuff that,
you know, that would interferewith, you know.
She says, having small boobssuits my lifestyle.
It does, yeah.
She's doing things that would,you know, if she had big boobs.
You can't heli-ski in Monacowith fake tits.
You know, yeah.
Big bolt-ons.
Boom.
Yeah.

(55:46):
It's why Caroline wasn't invitedon the trip.
Wouldn't have been safe.
I don't think that was safe.
Martin is like, this group islike a competition to see who
can say the most.
And to that I say, yes, Martin,it's called The Real Housewives.
Welcome to the chat.

(56:06):
She didn't say one thing.
It's a literal competition tosee who can say the most.
So stay in stuff.
But also they're creatingconversation out of nothing.
That's the whole thing aboutthis show.
You are literally creatingconversations out of nothing.
And look, maybe she's not usedto that.
Maybe she's not, you know.
But the thing is that's why theycome in with these stupid tales

(56:29):
and these things, you know.
They'll start diverting theconversation to dicks or plastic
surgery or whatever because theyhave to create conversation.
But she didn't try once.
There wasn't a single, she wason the side, shut down.
She was like, I'm not doing thisat all.
Then she likens the group to rumand raisin ice cream.
because no one likes my ownraisin is that true though I

(56:50):
thought like you know I don'tknow she was trying to say like
she was trying to say thesegirls aren't her vibe which I
get but it's like wellunfortunately you're like
shooting but also you'reshooting with them right now so
I don't know either pretend orlike make it interesting and
tell them that they all like arebeing shit I don't know well
that's the thing that was yourmoment to go oh for fuck's sake

(57:13):
can we talk about something elseyeah if she did that I would
have been like mother Likeliterally, that's all she had to
do.
And if it caused an argument,that's what we want.
But instead, she just had like aweird shutdown touch from the
left.
And look, I don't want to be toomean because I fully get this.
And like we both empathize.
We've both been in situationswhere a group of people made us

(57:35):
feel uncomfortable.
We've just like shut down orleft.
Honey, we're gay men.
Exactly.
We get it.
But it's just like, I don'tknow.
From what we saw, I didn't thinkanything warranted it.
No.
And it was just very...
Like, I don't know, wassomething...
Did something else happen?
I don't know, because it just...
It was very just...
Something else at the intercom,probably.

(57:55):
Yeah.
The end of every episode, theygo to the intercom bar and talk
real.
And something else...
Like, because it was just verypeculiar.
It was just...
There was no effort on her partto interact with the other
women.
It was her on the sidelines.
And then all of a sudden, she'sjust like, nah...
She goes, this sucks.
This is boring for me.

(58:15):
Yep.
Which was like a hot mic.
That was kind of cab.
This sucks.
This is boring for me.
She goes, I'm leaving because Ididn't get a word in.
And then Montana has to kind ofbe like this very, she was like
loving this role of likemediator slash shit surer.

(58:36):
Because, you know, wherever shegoes, I go.
Oh, that's right.
Which I thought was tremendous.
Like, yeah, but she is, she'sloving going between the two.
And it was a fabulous moment,wasn't it?
Like, they didn't even talkabout it.
No.
She basically spoke for her,which I think is great.

(58:56):
Exactly.
I love Chrissy's like, oh myGod, is it because we're talking
about a Zen pic?
I know.
It's like, oh, well, I don'tthink she's on the same page.
She's like, maybe she's got someissues with the way...
Oh, she couldn't possibly be onthe same page.
And then they just, like,started talking about it.
I was like, whoa, okay, ladies.
Like, but also the thing is,none of them knew.
Yeah.
Like, there was no indicationthat, like, because she wasn't

(59:19):
vocalising about anything.
She's just on the side.
And I get it, like, you know,but, like, there's nothing that,
you know...
The other women aren't mindreaders.
No.
Then Chrissy's like, maybe it'sbecause she thinks we're boring.
And then Dr.
Kate goes, my favorite line ofthe episode, yeah, well, we are
pretty boring.
I love Dr.

(59:40):
Kate.
Dr.
Kate had some great confessionalmoments.
And I love that moment whereshe's like, you know, talking
to, oh, we'll get to it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Later on, she's so good.
Anyway, yeah, Victoria's like,look, guys, she's gone.
It's because she's like kind ofan academic.
this i loved this so much likeyou guys wouldn't understand i

(01:00:02):
don't know none of you have everacademiaized before but um she
just said that you guys talkabout the shittest things so
good And that you're a dumberboy.
And was this when Dr.
Kate was like talking about,well, what else are we going to
talk about?
You know, Chrissy Marsh has gotan IQ of 80.
Yes! We've got bloody fuckingChewbacca over here talking

(01:00:26):
about dicks.
So good.
She's, yeah.
Dr.
Kate, I'm such a stan, Dr.
Kate, if you're listening.
I love you.
So good.
Love you so much.
I also love, yeah, that'sChrissy.
We're in a margarita bar on agirl's trip.
What are we supposed to talkabout?
Well, amen, Chrissy.
Amen.

UNKNOWN (01:00:43):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:43):
Anyway, then Montano leaves with Martine, who is
sulking.
And yeah, I don't know.
I thought this was actuallyinsane.
It's like...
The whole thing was really weirdas well.
Like, it's kind of like...
She just walked off but thendecided to kind of act up when
she got eaten with theproducers.
Yeah.

(01:01:03):
But then was like really like,no, it's on camera.
No, take your mic off.
But then they do...
Yeah, with Sally, she does someweird like, take your mic off,
Sally.
Yeah, I was like, what's...
But then later on with Victoriaat the hotel, she's happy to be
on camera again.
And it's like...
She goes...
Maybe I just don't do groups.

(01:01:24):
Which I think was Martine tryingto be like...
It's me, not them.
Which I think was nice...
And Montana goes, no, maybeyou're in the wrong group.
I was like, okay.
Which is also her starting someshit, which I love.
Yeah.
Like, good on her.
She's like, she's, you know,we're such close friends, but
I'm still going to start someshit.
And the episode ends withabsolute legend, the Biv, going,

(01:01:47):
can I have her drink?
You can't waste a margarita.
So good.
What a perfect end.
She knew exactly what she wasdoing.
She knew that that was going toend the episode.
Fabulous work.
Stunning.
So good.
Great.
I feel like we're back I felt,yeah, it was a really good
episode.
Yeah.
And yeah, I felt like also just,you know, we got to focus on

(01:02:08):
something else because Carolineobviously wasn't there and there
was no Dr.
Kate and her screaming at eachother.
So we got, you know, differentlittle treats.
It was Martine spiraling.

SPEAKER_00 (01:02:18):
It was

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:19):
great.
Because that would have taken,if Caroline was there, that
would have taken over.
True.
It would have been more Dr.
Kate v.
Caroline.
And Martine just would have beenon the sides nodding.
Yeah, me too.
And then it looks like Next weekwe're still in New Zealand?
Yeah, because they always do twoto three.
Do they?
Yeah, okay.
You've got to milk that.
Yeah.
Well, they're flowing them allthere.
Sponsorship.
Yeah, exactly.
What are your hopes andpredictions for the rest of the

(01:02:40):
season, Dol?
Look, I kind of just wantCaroline and Kate just to have
it out and just get over it.
I just want that done.
I just want that absolutelydone.
I think it's not the end forMartine and I think shit's going
to go down with the group.

UNKNOWN (01:02:59):
What?

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:59):
more so than it is now.
Do you think she'll bail?
Maybe or...
Well, they're going to have toconfront her next week.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we're going to see aconfrontation.
I hope she stays.
I hope she does too.
I'm really shocked this hashappened because yes, I know
that they're off to a shakystart, but I don't know.
To me, she fits in just fine andshe's a great addition to the

(01:03:22):
show.
So I don't want to see her goanywhere, but she's really
hating it.
Fair enough.
And who's the other one thatwe...
Who's the other one?
What's the other housewife thatwe never...
Nicole.
Oh, that one.
Yes.
Maybe she'll come back at somepoint.
Hopefully they're cutting thesalary and it's per episode.

(01:03:44):
She's got to sell those vitaminpatches though.
I know.
The Bond patch.
Well, that's probably what she'sdoing.
She's been very busy with thevitamin patches.
Have you seen the clip with JoeBailey?
Yes.
Oh my God.
Heaven.
Oh, Joe Bailey.
Bond patch.
So good.
Well, Dal, thanks for joining methis week.

(01:04:04):
An absolute pleasure.
Thank you.
Always a fun time.
Always a fun time.
I'll see you soon.
Enjoy White Lighters next week.
Yes.
So excited.
Bye.

UNKNOWN (01:04:13):
Bye.