November 24, 2023 • 49 mins
The Cris David Show #guytalk Men’s Discussion Panel is back with a brand new episode! Put us on while you’re on your way to the mall for Black Friday shopping or recovering from last night’s rum punch. With Joey Baston and Khai Thomas.
This episode is also available on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xaPas1ory6c
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
On this episode of The Cris David Show.
(00:02):
He's like, I'm Joey, Joey Black, have a drink.
And his friends were trying to get me to drink moonshine.
Have that conversation, you understand?
because now you're in a situation, right?
This is what you like, but what are her likes?
I didn't know that a kitty could be ugly.
I know how to talk to people.
I know how to interact with people, connect with people.
Yall thought that Timberwolves game was wild?
(00:23):
Wait ‘til I tell you what went on at Walmart this morning.
Disrespectful.
Like, full stop, disrespectful.
Heads think I'm just gonna remain the same person
I was in high school and be stuck with them
in their 15 year old mentality.
Only toxic people weaponize things that people can't change.
You're so used to Instagram models.
You don't actually know how to talk.
What am I supposed to rap about?
(00:43):
Like I have to go get a colonoscopy
or something like that? For somebody,
for me to tell them, hey, I'm having a bad day.
Not a lot of people have that.
Tell her to sell some of those handbags she's got.
She's got over a thousand handbags.
This is what's going on in AI porn.
Look, look, look, look, look at her head.
We look good as hell in 4K.
The
(01:04):
The
The
(01:26):
The
Welcome back to The Cris David Show, I’m your host, Cris David
Here to join us for a brand new Cris David Show #guytalk Men’s Discussion Panel we have
My guys Joey tha heckler Baston aka Joey Black
And Khai Black Khyna the chunky Jaden Smith Thomas
Clap it up and give my guys a warm Cris David Show welcome. We back!
We back!
(01:50):
Now I know it’s Black Friday and we all have turkey hangovers and all.
And I saw some wild shit this morning
while I was out in these Black Friday streets.
I’ll get to that later, but listen, let's just jump right in.
If you're within the sound of my voice,
you know that the Black Friday sales kicked off weeks ago.
As a matter of fact, the holiday shopping season
seems like it gets earlier and earlier.
(02:10):
I kid you not, I saw Christmas ads back in August.
According to a holiday shopping trend report from Adobe,
the discounts being offered this year
will reach record highs.
Even though there are plenty of great sales today,
the best prices will still come around cyber week.
Today is the best day to get a TV at a new discount.
(02:31):
Tomorrow is expected to bring the deepest discounts
on laptops.
Toys and apparel will be at their best prices on Sunday
and Cyber Monday will be the ideal time
to purchase electronics and appliances.
Now the good people over at Consumer Reports
have some Black Friday shopping tips
to help us all find the best offers.
(02:52):
Tip number one, start early.
Now, you should have started shopping back in October,
but I won't go too far in on that ass.
Sales have been going on for weeks now
and retailers are offering deals on items
in virtually every category of human consumption.
Many retailers have holiday refund and return policies
that include partial refunds for items that go on sale
(03:15):
for less later in the season.
For example, Target offers price match adjustments
for anything bought in the store or online
between October 22nd and Christmas Eve.
If you see that the price has dropped,
contact customer service and they'll refund you
the difference, make sure you have your receipts.
Look at Target trying to redeem themselves.
(03:35):
I see you playa.
Number two, shop online.
While many deals are available in store,
you may have more luck and more options
by shopping on your phone or computer.
In recent years, retailers have offered
more of the same promotions online as they do in stores.
A lot of stores were closed yesterday,
so this may be the thing to do
(03:56):
if you're really trying to pick up something
for the holidays.
Tip number three, use websites and apps.
In order to judge how good the deals really are
in crunch time, you need to track prices.
The good thing is you don't have to go retailer by retailer
to compare prices.
The Consumer Reports website lists the current prices
at various outlets for all the products in their ratings.
(04:18):
You can also try Google Shopping,
Price Grabber and Shopzilla.
When you're in a store, smartphone apps such as Buy Via,
Shopkick, ShopSavvy and Shopular
let you scan barcodes or QR codes to compare prices
and get discounts and coupons.
Listen baby, let me get what's on the coupon.
(04:38):
Also, look into browser extensions like CamelCamelCamel,
Keepa and Honey, which will show you price histories,
price alerts and available coupons when you shop online.
Tip number four, use loyalty programs.
Store loyalty programs often grant members early access
to coupon sales and promotions,
(04:59):
then let them earn rewards on what they buy.
Tip number five, get social.
The Facebook and Instagram feeds of your favorite retailers
are a great way to find out about exclusive deals
and promotions.
Retailers will often reward customers
who like or follow them with special alerts
to discounts and incentives.
(05:20):
Text and social media posts are also an easy way
to share Black Friday shopping intel
with friends and family.
Tip six, create a budget and stick to it.
Black Friday sales are designed to get you shopping
and buying things that you weren't intending to buy.
Since it's easy to get caught up in overspend,
plan ahead of time of how much you want to spend
(05:42):
and do your best to resist impulse buying,
especially if you're not sure how good a deal is.
I know that if you use your credit card to shop,
a lot of them will double the manufacturer's warranty.
You just gotta watch out for those interest-free promotions.
I mean, they're not so bad if you're disciplined enough
to pay off the balance before the promotional period is over,
but if you aren't, you're gonna be stuck paying
(06:03):
the full interest on the full amount of the purchase.
Tip number seven, check all store policies in advance.
It's always good to know a store's price match
and return policies.
Mostly all major retailers
have some form of price match policy.
However, some stores may suspend their price match guarantees
on certain items this weekend,
(06:25):
so do your researches and read the fine print.
Check the store's return and exchange policies
to make sure that they won't charge you a restocking fee.
Now, these last three tips apply strictly to TVs.
Today, Black Friday is the day you will see
the biggest discounts on televisions.
I saw TVs this morning with discounts as high as 35, 40%.
(06:49):
So if you're looking to upgrade your TV, do it.
I mean, we look good as hell in 4K.
Some stores are selling low-priced TVs made specifically
for Black Friday called derivatives,
as they're derived from mainstream models
and have scaled-back features,
such as fewer HDMI inputs or a simpler remote control.
Consumer Reports says they perform just as good,
(07:10):
even though they run 100 to $150 cheaper.
We won't say names, but we all know what those models are.
Maybe you don't want one for your living room,
but perhaps you have a son or daughter
who's going off to school next summer,
or you have a guest room or an office,
or if you cook a lot like me,
you might want a small, simple flat screen
to put in your kitchen.
(07:30):
Check out a derivative or knockoff,
as we say where I’m from, model.
Speaking of cheap, beware the cheapest set.
Doorbusters draw people in with visions of savings,
but the TVs are not always worth the price.
Keep in mind that you're going to be watching
football games, Christmas movies,
The Cris David Show, the Super Bowl,
(07:53):
and a whole lot of programming on your new TV
for years and years.
If you're not happy with the features or the picture quality,
you're going to regret not spending that extra $50 to $100
to get what you really wanted.
Also, retailers have more wiggle room
on a step-up or flagship model,
so don't hesitate to ask for a better price
(08:14):
regardless of the time of the year.
I dig Consumer Reports,
because they really just want us to do well
out here in these mean retail streets.
We have some shipping deadlines here as well.
Keep in mind, earlier is better,
because you never know how long a retailer takes the ship,
especially this time of year,
especially with small businesses and independent sellers,
(08:36):
like on eBay and Etsy.
Always check their FAQ or shipping and return sections
to get accurate shipping information.
But now, if you're one of those last-minute spirits,
don't worry, we got you.
In order to send gifts via USPS,
you'll need to ship by Saturday, December 16th
for a Ground Advantage.
(08:58):
Monday, December 18th for Priority,
or Wednesday, December 20th for Priority Mail Express.
All of that information is up at usps.com.
With UPS, you must ship by Tuesday, December 19th
for 3 Day Select,
Wednesday, December 20th for 2nd Day air,
(09:19):
or Thursday, December 21st with Saturday delivery options.
For Next Day Air,
Thursday, December 21st is your shipping day,
or Friday, December 22nd with Saturday delivery options.
For Ground and Ground Saver,
UPS has a website where you can enter the addresses
you'll be shipping to and from
(09:39):
for detailed shipping estimates.
That site is ups.com/CTC.
C for calculate, T for time, and C for cost.
If you're shipping with FedEx,
your Ground Economy deadline is early this year,
Wednesday, December 13th.
(10:00):
For FedEx Express Saver, Tuesday, December 19th.
FedEx 2 Day and 2 Day AM, Wednesday, December 20th,
and for FedEx Same Day, that day is Friday, December 22nd.
For FedEx Ground and FedEx Home Delivery deadlines,
visit fedex.com.
Get those gifts shipped out now.
(10:21):
Matter of fact, as soon as you're done watching us,
place your orders so that they get there on time
because 30 days comes at you fast.
A month really doesn't feel like a month anymore.
But Khai, I mean, what do you think?
Good tips, right?
I mean, they're great tips.
One thing is always have a strategy, right?
What am I buying?
How do I buy it?
What do I want?
(10:41):
And I'm saying quality over quantity, right?
I think a lot of times we get into this name brand thing,
right?
We look at things as electronics, but real talk.
They're all the same parts, all the same chips.
It's really a matter of if it's something
for a long-term purchase or if it's something for tomorrow.
So I think the biggest thing with any of this is
(11:02):
What is my game plan?
how do I go about it?
And can I save as much as possible?
There you go.
Joey Black, what about you?
I think preparation is the most important thing.
If you're prepared, like you said,
like make sure things go out the 17th or before.
Like I'm a last minute person.
So me waiting the week of Christmas
(11:24):
to go get all the presents is not smart
because you go to the UGG store,
they don't have anything you need.
You go to wherever you just got to.
Now you're at the mercy of everybody else
and all of the traffic.
So being prepared and doing those types of things,
like that's always gonna help you out
and you won't have to worry.
Like my sister-in-law, she gets her done.
(11:45):
She's already done.
Like our presents are under the tree already.
I don't have to worry about my presents with her.
So she doesn’t have to worry about it.
That's how you do it.
I don't know, Joey, she need to rub off on you a little bit
because that's how you do it.
Like I'm done.
I've been done since like September.
So.
Yeah, no, she's done since like May.
That's too early.
That is, man, that is kind of early.
Wow.
That's like super early.
(12:06):
Yeah, she gets it done.
We're informative here at The Cris David Show.
I am an Afro futuristic,
Magical Negro version of Joan Hamburg.
And if you don't know who she is, ask your grandparents.
But those tips were courtesy of Consumer Reports.
Good morning.
Khai, go ahead and introduce yourself to everybody.
Khai Thomas
(12:26):
The one and only, your favorite person's favorite person.
I'll say that much.
Man of many trades, master of all.
Really just out here living the best of life.
That's all I can really say.
Taking it one day and one turn up at a time.
Listen.
All right, so let me tell you guys.
Me and the Khai hung out.
(12:47):
This was at Industry City in Brooklyn in Sunset Park.
Look, I know we look related, we're not related, I promise.
But yo, but listen, listen.
Khai's friends, right?
Khai brought his friends with him.
And his friends were trying to get me to drink moonshine.
So listen, listen.
He had his homie R.K.
(13:07):
R.K. is like this short, like Mobb Deep looking dude.
And then he had these two Spanish guys with him.
And they were like, trying to give me bottles and shit.
And I'm like, yo, man, I don't know what it is
with you people trying to give me liquor when I'm out.
Anyway, Khai, you be in these streets hard body.
I can't hang out like I used to, but it was good seeing you.
And then we, I saw you Upstate too.
(13:28):
I mean, you pulled up for like two minutes
and then you bounced.
I'm only trying to be there for the photo, right?
Just proof I was here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now I'm here for a good time, not a long time.
I feel you.
By the way, Khai, how's your mom doing?
How's your mom?
She's doing really well, really, really well.
You know, we’re focused on her next phase of life.
I think with parents, it's always assumed that they have it,
(13:50):
but how do you help them navigate
towards what retirement looks like?
You've been working for 40 plus years.
What's the next stage?
So parents are stubborn, but that's what we're looking towards.
Like, hey mom, it's time to just relax.
Let's go to the spa, get you on your bridge club,
all the good stuff.
But you know, I still got it in me.
(14:10):
I'm like, I know you do, but we'll talk.
Let's just sit down.
Let's relax for once.
Well, listen, we here at The Cris David Show
Send our love to Aunt Bootsy, Khai's mom,
and the entire Thomas family.
And Joey, go ahead and introduce yourself to the good people.
I'm Joey, Joey Black, Joey Crew, Joey Chronicles.
(14:31):
Just your everyday average guy, you know?
Get a turn up, have fun, you know?
Crack a joke, you know what I mean?
Make you smile.
And then maybe a little bit of heckler,
because everybody likes a little bit of mean comedy,
because it's true most of the time.
Just a little bit.
All right.
Now listen, we got to get to how Joey got the name Joey tha
Heckler.
(14:52):
OK, so back in April, I went to this comedy show out in Philly
called Joke Sistas.
If you follow me on IG, and I don't know why you wouldn’t
since you're watching, and listening.
I have some post up from that show, which was created
by Cris David show alumni, One Funny Sistah, Ms. Joanna
Briley.
Shout out to Joanna, by the way, too.
Happy belated Joanna.
(15:14):
So this guy over here, all right, he comes in,
and he's with his mom.
He's with his girl, Britney.
He's with his sister, Victoria, and her dude.
Good looking group of people.
So Joey and Victoria, they bounce.
And they come back like 20 minutes later
with these brown bags.
So Joanna's still up there doing crowd work,
(15:35):
and she doesn't miss a beat.
And they walk back in, and she's like, what's that?
And so Joey goes, 1800.
And she's like
I love tequila! It's keto friendly
My family crest is a tequila bottle.
So then they get cups, and they're mixing it
with some strawberry shit, and everybody is drinking thanks
to Joey and Victoria.
(15:56):
So let's clap it up for that.
So wait, but then, so the comics go up,
and they're doing their bits and everything,
and Joey's doing Q&A with each and every one of them.
And then he's getting more and more tipsy,
and doing more and more Q&A.
And I'm a few rows back, and I'm like, yo, who is this cat?
And Khai, he wasn't rude at anything.
(16:18):
He wasn't nasty with it.
But I'm just like, son, chill.
So at the end, Joanna shouts me out and everything.
And after the show, I'm in the back.
I'm socializing and doing what I do.
So this dude right over here, not Khai,
but this dude right over here, he comes up to me,
and he's like, yo, I want to be on your show.
(16:38):
And I'm like, well, are you comedian or something?
Because he reminds me of Jimmy Martinez,
if you guys know who Jimmy Mar is.
But anyway, I'm like, what do you do?
And he's like, I'm Joey, Joey Black, have a drink.
So I'm looking at his sister.
I'm like, are you responsible for him?
And she's cracking up, and he's like, come on, man,
let me make you a drink.
(16:58):
So I'm like, dude, I can't be driving
with alcohol in a red cup.
I might as well just turn my headlights off
and not wear my seat belt for all that.
Just go straight James Bond with it, you know?
So you know me.
Alright, you know I'm resourceful.
I use everything.
I'm the Hood's MacGyver.
(17:20):
So I spot these togo cups, you know, the kind for coffee,
and then with the lid over on the counter.
So I grab the cup, and I go, OK, put it in this,
just a little bit.
He's like, oh, man, come on, you got to have some with me now.
And he's pouring that shit like crazy.
And I'm like, I gotta drive, nigga.
And so I take a sip, and I'm like, damn, this is nice.
(17:40):
And so he fills up my 12-ounce to-go cup with 1800
strawberry Tres Agaves, you know, with Khai.
We turned it into WaWa with alcohol.
And this was when I knew that he was that dude, OK?
So Joey, I have to thank you, because you actually
gave me the idea for The Cris David Show, Men's Discussion
(18:04):
Panel.
#guytalk me the Men's Discussion Panel.
Because I said, how else are we going to have him on?
So yeah, one drink started all of this.
So and Joey was actually supposed
to be with us on our very first Men's Panel,
but he was under the weather.
So shout out to Joey's mom, Joey's sister,
shout out to Britney, the whole Baston fan.
(18:26):
And anyway, speaking of drinks, what's
the drink, the official drink for this episode
of The Cris David Show, Men's Discussion Panel?
So what is this right here?
What is this called?
It's Espolòn.
Espolòn.
And where can we find Espolòn at?
Where can we find it?
(18:47):
At your, if you're in the Philly area,
at your local Fine Wine and Spirits.
And if you're in Brooklyn, where Khai is,
just go to the corner store, the Bodega.
They're selling liquor.
Or go to your local moonshine man.
Go ahead, pause the show, make that drink,
and we'll wait for you.
Just don't wash it down with tater tots.
It's a little inside joke.
(19:08):
All right, so guys, I have this letter
that one of our viewers sent in for our Sex Coach,
Mrs. Toni Drumwright-Antoine.
So get your questions in ASAP.
But this is our Men's Panel.
So we wanted to give our perspective on this.
So here's the letter.
It says, anonymous, it just comes from anonymous.
Anonymous writes, I've been dating this guy I met
(19:30):
off of a dating app for seven months now.
When I ask him what he thinks about us,
he really doesn't give me any clear answers.
I asked my girlfriends what they think is going on with him
and they tell me he probably isn't big on relationships.
I like him and I wanna be his girl.
How long does it take for a man to know
(19:51):
if he really wants to be with you?
First and foremost, I think it's clear communication, right?
A lot of this is just vibes and feelings.
At least you're like, oh, I asked a question.
I didn’t like the answer I got back.
So I don't know how I feel about it
versus what's direct and clear.
But I think what I'm wanna say is,
what is the dynamic of a relationship?
(20:14):
What are we looking for, right?
How are we defining it?
Did we go into it love?
We're kicking it, we're having a good time
trying to find one another or we're dating with intention.
And I think more so in the fact of,
we need to see people through seasons.
And sometimes seven months is maybe not the right time
(20:34):
because have I seen you at your best?
Have I seen you at your worst?
Have we gone through a little scuffle between each other
or has it always been a honeymoon phase?
So seven months, it is a time,
but at the same time, if it's summer and fall,
what does winter look like?
No birthdays, no holidays.
I don't know who you are in these big milestones.
So honestly, it's a few things
(20:56):
just to take away from that is first,
clear communication.
Even the question of, well, what do you mean by that?
I think even the question we got people where you say,
hey, how are you doing today?
I'm good.
Are you really good?
Oh snap, somebody asked me a follow-up question.
Maybe they sensed something.
(21:17):
Really do that because I think
the more you're questioning wondering,
you're gonna keep spinning versus just ask the question
and be prepared to have an uncomfortable conversation
because you'd rather have that versus
what you're going through right now,
submitting anonymous questions to get answers.
Joey, you've been with your girlfriend,
(21:38):
The lovely Britney for five years.
Speak some wisdom into this young woman's life.
So it's really, so I haven't been dating
in a very long time.
So the dating scene is a lot different
than it was five years ago.
So I know that people are very intentional
(22:01):
or they should be more intentional.
And sometimes like he was saying,
you might just need to ask the question,
but also it's hard because you're on Tinder
and you're on all these other like,
with social media and everything like that,
you're able to access a lot more people a lot faster.
So I was next to a couple the other day at a restaurant
(22:24):
and they're on a first date and she was like,
what are your flaws?
What are your this?
What are your that?
And he's probably like, whoa,
like that's a lot you're speeding right now.
Like we just enjoyed the first date.
Them being seven months in, he's probably like,
maybe I'm still trying to figure this out.
She seems, or the anonymous person seems like
they're ready for the relationship.
So that timing might be different.
(22:45):
Like I don't know how everybody's timing is,
but that is something that should definitely be addressed
because some people, some people,
as soon as they're dating, they're dating for a reason.
And I want to be in a relationship.
And it doesn't take me five months to know
that I like somebody.
It only takes me X, Y, Z amount of time.
But some other people was like, no,
(23:06):
I got to get to know you.
I got to get to learn you.
Maybe just the dating part of it is
for me to vet you properly.
So that when I do ask you to be my significant other
or anything like that,
then that's how it'll progress.
But then also some people just want to have fun.
And if I say, I want to just have fun with you,
you might not take me seriously anymore
(23:27):
because you're like, no, I'm not here
just to have fun with you.
I'm here for a real reason.
So I think it can get very dicey,
but I think it is still very important
that you guys do have those conversations
to find out at what stage,
because I've seen it before,
like friends of mine, they're like talking to somebody
(23:48):
for years and they never became official.
But was that because of a lack of communication?
or was that because there was no standards set early on
that you might be able to get the,
my mom calls it the boyfriend-lite.
You get all the boyfriend or all the girlfriend benefits
without actually having a boyfriend,
girlfriend title or responsibility.
(24:09):
So I don't know.
And I think that couple who you were talking about,
you overheard them at the next table.
I love that you're out ear hustling by the way.
But I think that's something they should have talked about
before they even went out on the date.
That's something that initially they should have
hammered out intentions and expectations
(24:30):
way before going out to dinner.
Because I just know me personally,
I'm not going anywhere with anyone
‘til we've had those discussions.
I think it's interesting, right?
Because we're at even my season,
apps mean something different, right?
Apps are interview.
We already established we like each other.
And now these are quality versus if I met you out
(24:51):
at the restaurant, at the bar,
I don't have time to ask you about your flaws.
I'm still trying to get to know you on the natural tip.
So we're gonna do that on the first date.
And so we're doing for the app,
it's already almost like we're getting some of the basic
things out of the way versus the natural going of,
if I met somebody out at the bar,
I'm not asking her, hey, you wanna drink?
And what's your season?
(25:13):
That's not gonna happen that way.
And so that's why I look at it in a sense of
how are we going about it?
Because the way we engage this dictates
how we go about it in the future.
That's just my thoughts because apps mean
I'm looking for someone I'm seeing a specific thing,
I found it, we're going intentional
versus I saw you on Tuesday,
we text a little bit, hey, let's catch coffee.
(25:35):
Because I met you not in that setting, in that mindset of,
hey, you caught my eye,
I'm not asking for your
So I look at the attention of how we did we engage
whether naturally saw you, good moment, rom-com,
or here's the interview, you pass the test,
you check the boxes, now we're going out.
I look at it that way, that's just me.
(25:55):
Got you.
No, no, no, no, I totally get it.
It makes a lot of sense.
And I mean, cause you're meeting somebody out at a bar,
you're not gonna be like, yeah,
so what's your five year plan?
Yeah, but also that's what they're doing on dating sites.
Like you're literally, like it is an interview.
Like I'd probably be, if I'm back in the streets,
they threw me back,
if Britney ever threw me back in the water,
(26:16):
then they would probably do that to me.
Like, are you, they're gonna probably,
like there's certain expectations.
Like, first of all, you have to meet
whatever those expectations are.
Hopefully they're clear cut enough
or you naturally do them so that you don't automatically
get ghosted or red flagged them already by saying,
hey, let's go to get coffee.
(26:37):
Well, why don't you take me on a real date?
Like, because I don't know you yet.
You know what I mean?
So you have stuff like that.
And then when I do that, they also, like I said,
no one wants their time wasted.
I don't wanna waste my time with this other person.
They don't wanna waste their time with me.
So they're trying to probably get all,
let's get all of the paperwork done now
so that we can just enjoy each other's company
(26:58):
for the remaining of the time.
I'm curious though, how'd you and Britney meet?
So it's funny, so I like chicken wings.
Everybody likes chicken wings.
Sunday pizza, chicken wing favorite right here.
So I've done that with my brother and sister.
We had a sibling day, you know,
like we do corny stuff like that.
We had sibling day, we went to,
(27:20):
New York had one, it's called
the Long Island Chicken Wing Festival.
So that was over the summertime.
And then about five years ago,
Philadelphia has their own version
of that same type of festival,
where you have different vendors,
they make chicken wings and then you kinda go there.
They have beer vendors.
So you have, you get beer and chicken wings together, right?
Match made in heaven.
So we go, I'm with my sister this time,
(27:43):
my brother couldn't make it.
So I'm with her and her husband.
And we're just going, some people,
they have great chicken wings.
Some people, they're kind of bland
and gray and scary looking, but still a good time.
So my brother-in-law, he was,
his friend was dating this girl.
This girl happened to be Britney's sister,
(28:03):
her twin sister.
And they ended up coming to the Chicken Wing Festival
with him.
So they all met up.
So we meet, I meet him, he's a cool guy.
And then he brought these two other young ladies with him.
So we're like, all right, cool.
I didn't pay her any mind because I didn't know her.
So then we all decided after,
like we're a little bit buzzed, we go get,
(28:24):
after we ate, we ended up going to go bowling,
just to like keep the party going.
So we go bowling and then at this point,
everybody's coupled up with me and her.
Like everybody has their significant other
who they're talking to.
So I'm alone, she's alone.
And she also had a very like uninterested face.
(28:45):
She looked like she wanted to get out of there.
Like she was not having a good time.
So of course me being the sly fox that I am,
I'm like, hey, why are you so mad looking?
You know, like just chopping it up.
So she kind of put a smile on her face.
So then I'm like, okay, cool.
So since we're bowling,
bowling is a competitive sport, I'm competitive.
So I said, hey, let's do this.
(29:06):
If I win this first game of bowling against you,
because everybody else is coupled up,
I win against you, you buy a drink.
If you win, I buy the drink.
So I win the first game naturally.
So that's great.
So she buys the drink.
We had the first round, we're still talking.
We're enjoying each other's company.
Now it's the second game.
So I had to up the stakes a little bit.
I said, how about this?
(29:28):
If I win, you give me your number.
If I lose, you don't have to give me your number.
Long story short, and this is the best part of the story,
I lose that game.
That game is totally lost to me.
I lose 105 to like 100.
She definitely beats me.
So I look at her.
I didn't give her puppy dog eyes,
but I gave her a look like, so what are we doing now?
(29:50):
And then she gave me a smile and said,
I'm still gonna give you your number.
And I said, of course you are.
You have to, that's part of the mating ritual dance.
So I gave her the dance and she gave me her number.
And then we watched football
and now we're five years, everything's history.
Nice.
Youse look like a 2000s, you know, UPN sitcom couple.
(30:12):
So I mean, you know, it was meant to be. Anonymous.
I'm gonna keep it real with you.
He doesn't like you.
We're men.
We're not that complex.
If he liked you, he would have shown you immediately.
I mean, you heard Joey's story.
I mean, a man who likes you shows up
and you don't have to pine for confirmation.
(30:33):
You'll know, make sure, and he'll make sure you do.
And you're 30, you should know better.
And you two are obviously having sex
because you sent this in for our Sex Coach.
Anyway, if he's around,
ask your father what he thinks of this guy.
If you don't have your father, ask your grandfather
or another man in your family who's been married
or in a long-term relationship. Best.
(30:55):
We get some really interesting letters in for Coach Toni.
We get some wild cards too, because one was like,
I think my husband's gay, please advise.
Like, just so deadpan.
Like, no details, just please advise.
And even Coach Toni was like,
you gotta give us more details
as to why you think your husband's gay.
But that went well.
(31:16):
You guys wanna do another one?
We got another one here.
Run it. Let's go for it.
So this one's from a guy named Steve.
Steve's 40, he's from Brooklyn.
Shout out to Brooklyn.
Yes. Steve writes,
I'm trying to get my new lady into a fetish that I have
for doing it out in the open.
(31:36):
I like fooling around in the park, on the bus and the train,
in Ubers and taxis and even at the movies.
I like my lady a lot,
but I don't know how she's gonna take it.
See me and my last chick used to get it in all over the place.
Up in the dressing room at Macy's,
I sure hope, I hope to God it wasn't Fulton Street.
(31:56):
In the restaurant booth, just anywhere we got the urge.
I need some tips on getting my new lady
to be more of a freakbody, as you say.
Please help peace, Steve.
Now, Khai, Steve sounds like one of your homeboys,
so I'm gonna let you take this first.
Honestly, with all this, it's talking, it's communication,
(32:18):
but the thing is, it's a matter of comfortability, right?
So how far into this am I introducing this?
And I think the reason why people have the compatibility
In the bedroom with intimacy and things, we're not talking,
we're going about what we've been trained.
A lot of them are doing what they've been doing since 16.
They're not learning new tricks,
they're not doing whatever else.
And my old partner, my guy,
(32:39):
this is an old partner, he's someone new.
So have that conversation, understand,
because now you're in a situation, right?
This is what you like, but what are her likes?
How do you find compromise?
Because it seems very like this is what me, me, me want
versus her.
And she's uncomfortable, how do you ease her into that?
we don't have to have a full blown back
to the Macy's, but hey, maybe we try something in the car
(33:02):
in a public spot in the park.
Then we ease into something more, a little bit more public.
But how do you get someone who's never done that,
especially when you are of older age,
you're set in your ways?
This is new, new is scary for a lot of folks.
And that brings discomfort,
because now it's now becoming oh the reason
why you can't enjoy your time together
(33:23):
is because of how you're not able to do
what my old girl did.
That might bring insecurity to her,
because maybe she wants to be there for you,
but she can't.
But in all honesty, it's either,
A, having a conversation so they know exactly,
in the bedroom, hey, I enjoy what we do,
but I want to take it another step.
And then ease, right?
No one's going into something where it's like,
hey, new kink, new fetish, day one, let's go.
(33:45):
You gotta grow into it, the comfortability.
So I would just say,
conversation, communication also,
show her what it actually means,
because I can tell you, I want to do something in the park.
What does that really mean?
Is it full on sex?
Is it maybe some more hands play, foreplay?
There's different levels of things.
So I think it's having that clarity of,
(34:05):
what are my needs and how can you help me meet my needs?
And how can we do it together?
Joey, any advice for Steve?
Yeah, first of all, you just gotta know,
everybody's different.
Some people have a higher sex drive.
Some people have a lower sex drive.
Some people like to be more spontaneous.
Some people like it more structured.
I like, some people like vanilla sex.
(34:27):
Everybody's different, it's okay.
What it comes down to is, he's saying communication,
but also, once you have those conversations,
you gotta understand that that is not your ex.
She might not be the freak that you want her to be,
and that might be okay.
Or if it's not okay, then you gotta see
where there is compromise, or if there is no compromise,
then maybe that might not be the best fit.
(34:48):
Just because if you need that,
then you might be lacking that,
because she might be like,
some people are very adamant about not doing things
like that.
Like some people are older, like he's in his 40s, right?
If you're in your 40s, that might be something
that an older woman might be like,
that's a young girl thing.
I'm not young like that anymore
(35:09):
to just do it in the car anymore.
We don't do it in the backseat.
Yes, as me, I'm at 35, I'm like, yeah,
let's do it in the backseat, why not?
I haven't done that, you know what I mean?
I haven't done, I haven't illegally drank
in a long time either,
so let's do stupid stuff like that, that was a joke.
But that's really, some people are like, no,
sexual intercourse is made for the home,
(35:31):
or made for something a little bit more private.
And unless you gauge it,
unless she gives you that type of mentality
that she's with doing stuff like that,
then you have to find out some way.
So either you could try to introduce it
like little by little and see how far that can go,
or you basically have a full blown conversation
(35:53):
and see what her hard lines are like going forward.
Like, would you be into this?
Some people are into swinger clubs,
some people are not into swinger clubs.
So having those conversations to see,
or you can at least gauge it to see where you are
and where you fall in.
Don't, I would think if they're not really into that,
you would do it incrementally and see if they'll
(36:15):
at least get to a place where it's kind of a middle ground.
But I guess, like I said, I know a lot of older women
that are like, I probably wouldn't do that
just because they think that is something more of a,
more of a, it's an image, like an immaturity type of thing.
So.
Okay, Steve, I'm gonna hit you like Coach Toni would say,
and say communication is key.
(36:37):
Let your lady know that you have this fetish
and that you like to explore this with her.
Now I'm all for sexual exploration,
exhibitionism, voyeurism, et cetera,
but be smart out in those streets, Steve,
because you don't wanna fuck around
and wind up on the registry.
But you know what, you know what, Steve?
Make being an assertive communicator
(36:59):
your New Year's resolution.
Do you guys make New Year's resolutions?
I don't because the thing is,
any goal, will I achieve it
or do I set myself for failure, right?
Consider that anxiety of, oh, it's on the,
it's something I need to do, but if I don't do it,
how do I feel about myself?
Honestly, I think anything with a New Year,
(37:20):
it's more of a perspective, like,
oh, I'm gonna have a fresh mindset.
Maybe there's something that I wanna think about differently
or how I approach things, but honestly, a goal,
goals are sometimes tough to achieve, what's realistic?
So honestly, I don't have,
like goals or resolutions is more so,
let's reflect and see what we can do better.
It's like one of those things,
(37:41):
like New Year, New Me type of thing.
And it's like, if you wanna make any active changes,
you don't need a set time to make those active changes.
If you don't wanna drink anymore, just stop drinking.
If you don't want it, you don't have to wait,
like, well, no, like, I wanna stop drinking,
but Thanksgiving is coming, and then I have Christmas,
and then after that, then after Christmas,
(38:02):
and then New Year's, and then after that,
then I'm gonna stop drinking, and then I'll cut it down,
and I won't smoke as much, and I won't do,
like, if you wanna make those changes,
you can make them at any point.
If you don't feel like you're ready to stop drinking,
then don't stop drinking.
If you don't think your drinking is a problem,
then it might be a problem,
but until you see it as a problem, then it's not a problem.
So those type of things, like, those changes
(38:25):
that you wanna see or you wanna make,
you can make them at any point.
So if you like to do it as, like,
maybe a ritual type of thing, well, every year,
I try to do something different,
and I can see how that could be somewhat beneficial,
but if you really are trying to make resolutions and changes,
you can do that at any point.
You don't have to wait till the New Year to do that.
You know, it's hard enough just coping with the nonsense
(38:49):
during the holidays, and I'm just like,
why should I punish myself trying to stick to something
that I can start at any time?
I mean, if I were to start a resolution,
I would start in November.
I mean, it's a head start.
And plus, my birthday's in January,
like literally the first week of January.
I'm too busy indulging to start a regimen.
(39:10):
But how do you guys cope through the holidays?
So I'm pretty chill.
Like, I found that people get stressed out about stuff
because they just, they take too much of it,
like, they internalize too much of it.
Like, if you can't buy the best gift
for your significant other or for your families
and things like that, get them what you can, and it's okay.
(39:32):
Like, you're beating yourself up.
Like, I know that my kid wanted the new iPhone
or something like that.
Like, if you can't get them the new iPhone,
and you can get them something that's still like,
that's still something from the heart
and it's still meaningful, and it's still,
it's something that they can utilize
and use and things like that, then that's still fine.
Like, you don't have to,
it doesn't have to be anything more than that.
(39:54):
And also you don't have to beat yourself up
if you can't deliver.
Like, at the end of the day, like,
the reason why we get disappointed is
because we get disappointed in ourselves.
We don't, it's not because we,
it's because you feel like I should be able
to do these types of things.
I should be able to afford the new phone to give to my kid
because they deserve that,
and I want to be able to give that to them.
(40:16):
And that's very noble and everything like that.
But if you just don't have the means,
you don't have the means.
And that's okay too.
I feel like there's too much pressure.
I don't feel that pressure because I just never cared enough
to feel that pressure.
Like, if I can do it, then great.
And if I can't do it, then that's okay also.
(40:36):
Like, it's gonna have to be that way
because I work on machinery all day.
I can get mad at a machine all I want to,
but what I learned is that the machine never gets mad
because it's a machine.
And then the only person that is mad is me.
And the only person that it hurts is me.
So, why hurt myself?
(40:56):
Like, I don't have her feelings anymore.
I can't get mad at things.
Like, I can't get mad at a TV for being broken.
It's a TV.
Can't get mad back at it me either.
But what about you, Khai?
How do you cope through the holidays?
Yeah, I mean, I think we're in a culture of capitalism,
right?
It's all about dollars, spend it.
And I see time and time again, friends, others,
(41:20):
people going into debt for the season, right?
Like, you create this culture of.
You work 12 months to get rewarded now.
How do you change that culture
and maybe reward throughout the year?
But in true honesty, whatever you gotta do,
be okay with it, right?
I think one of the things we talk about is like,
how'd you get it?
I did like, be okay with being on it that way.
(41:42):
Be okay going forward.
I mean, we have car notes and everything,
all these different things out here.
It's okay to pay in pieces,
but honestly, you gotta make sure that
whatever you're doing for it,
you're doing it what satisfies you, right?
If my love language is gifts,
that's how I receive the love.
And everyone is receiving the same way.
(42:04):
But if all this season, I think it's truly a matter of,
will I get derive the pleasure I want
from doing this action?
But at the same time, it's tough
because not everyone has family.
I think it's a variety of stuff in your community.
That's why you see a lot of friendsgiving,
and white elephants, because not everyone can go to a home.
Not everyone has that in themselves.
So honestly, do what's best to surround yourself
(42:25):
with that one so you wanna feel love and joy,
because I think we might, there's some of us who are like,
oh, I gotta go to my mom's house, I gotta do this, uh-uh.
There's some of you who parents pass away,
don't have the luxury anymore.
And honestly, it's a season of,
we gotta get back to what it actually means, right?
Even for myself, day of, I'm sending out my mass text
of happy holidays to all my homies,
(42:46):
because they may not be getting that
for no one else.
And at least they're getting from me
to know that I care about you.
And yeah, we don't have to exchange gifts,
but you know the love is there.
And not everyone can get a flight home,
to Tennessee is gonna be expensive.
But I was able to have a moment
because my friends are like,
yeah, I'm home in my apartment by myself,
I don't have a meal.
You're going to the Asian takeout versus last week,
(43:07):
we broke bread together.
So honestly, how did I do the work to say,
I'm okay with whatever I'm, however I move.
And that's what I need.
And I think in society,
we're told we should be doing something else.
We should be acting like this.
Because in order to be accepted, that's what's needed.
But it's okay to march your own drum,
be your own little drummer boy.
(43:28):
Do what you wanna do.
And those that love you, respect you,
they'll be like, you know what?
I got you.
And I think we're getting away with community needs
versus what community represents.
Absolutely.
And you know what?
I think that's more meaningful.
And you know, you mentioned that white elephant thing.
I can't get down with that.
I heard about that, like what that is.
(43:49):
And I was just like, you not taking my gift from me.
But here's the thing, but with me,
I've learned to minimize contact.
Because I know that the holidays can be stressful
for some people.
And if you can't contact me, then you can't agitate me.
Simple set boundaries.
Protect your peace.
Protect your peace.
I mean, if you wanna see me so bad,
watch The Cris David Show.
(44:10):
Otherwise, you don't get a subscription to Cris+.
But anyway, since we have a couple new faces here.
I wanna know what you all think when people say
it's hard for men to make friends,
men to make friendships after high school.
So I was watching this thing like on Vice,
(44:30):
they had like, they have debates and like,
they had kind of like a man's panel type of thing
where they got men and they were just talking
about masculinity as a whole.
And that topic came up.
And what it really comes down to is that
the reason why people feel that way is that
for you to establish a friendship,
there has to be a certain level of trust
that you start to have with people, right?
(44:53):
But for you to trust somebody,
one part of trusting somebody is being able to be vulnerable.
But guys, showing vulnerability is showing
of lack of masculinity, kind of.
It's not saying that they are intertwined with each other,
but if like somebody, if somebody perceives a man
(45:14):
as being weak, it kind of almost means that they're,
they're not less masculine, but they're,
you can almost question their manhood a little bit.
You know what I mean?
Because men aren’t supposed to be weak.
Men are supposed to be strong.
Men are supposed to be courageous
and all these other types of things.
And all of those, once you have all of these
different characteristics together,
(45:34):
then you can label yourself as a man.
But you don't do, you won't like put yourself
in those type of situations or interactions because,
or you'll limit those because you don't want the world
to use that against you.
Basically use the world to use that against you.
So I feel like it's hard because nobody wants to open up
(45:58):
their spaces to be vulnerable with somebody
for it to not pan out the way that they exactly want to.
So it becomes a trust thing.
If somebody who's a little bit more trusting
probably has an easier time finding friends
because they're able to overcome some of the hurdles
(46:19):
of having a friendship with anybody.
Some other people that is gonna be a little bit
more difficult because they're not gonna let you in.
And everybody has acquaintances.
That's that surface level stuff.
Like I could talk to anybody and high five them.
But for somebody, for me to tell them,
hey, I'm having a bad day.
Hey, my girl's really pissing me off.
Like I'm really like, about to lose my mind.
(46:40):
My job is killing me.
Not a lot of people have that or outlets like that
because one that's a show,
like it shows that maybe you're not able to cope
with your everyday life.
And being able to talk it out that is coping
with your life, but sometimes that doesn't look
like your definition of what a man is supposed to.
The way I look at is the level of intimacy you have with it.
(47:04):
And I think the fact of the way men actually bond.
I think during the pandemic,
they said a lot of men lost friendships
because they were in the same circles that they hang out with.
If I go play ball to Y every Saturday, that's my boy.
My girl might be like, that's not your friend.
You just play ball.
I'm like, no, that's the guy who I played with
for the past six months.
See him every Saturday.
(47:24):
He's my guy.
But the thing is, I don't need to do brunch with him.
He's still my friend.
And I think it goes with that vulnerability
because if we're kicking on the bench,
like yo, what happened?
Oh yeah, Monday I got this thing.
Oh, tell me about it.
We're finding that space of commonality
where we can now be vulnerable in these spaces doing that.
But I think because when we look at friendships, right?
What's wrong, right?
(47:45):
Sometimes I feel with the realm of with women,
it has to be like best friend, bridesmaids,
who's at my wedding versus,
hey, can my guy come to the wedding?
He's the, he don't need a plus one,
but he's my guy who I hang out and bench press
with every day.
I look at it as we can have different types of friends
or different types of friendship,
but it doesn't all look the same.
I can be at the bar, see my guy at the bar every Friday.
(48:07):
We talk about a week
I don't know his last name.
How many men know their boy's last name?
It doesn't happen all the time,
but I know I'm a ride for that guy if I need to
because of the way he showed me up
when I see his character I know what he represents.
But I don't need know him from Monday to Friday,
I don't need see him.
But I think sometimes people need,
I need you in my pocket, need you by my side
(48:28):
versus in the moment, I know what you stand for,
I know what you see.
And there is a trust with you in that moment.
So it's one of those things that I think goes on a person.
What do I expect from a friend?
I have best friends, I have acquaintances
at different levels, but what am I really saying
of who is my friend?
Do I need someone I can call to?
(48:49):
You know what, sometimes we have to get
professional help for that.
That's when you have therapists.
My friend’s not supposed to be my therapist.
And I think sometimes with the friendship,
people put too much on that friendship
that the other person isn’t willing to accept.
On this episode of The Cris David Show.
(00:02):
He's like, I'm Joey, Joey Black, have a drink.
And his friends were trying to get me to drink moonshine.
Have that conversation, you understand?
because now you're in a situation, right?
This is what you like, but what are her likes?
I didn't know that a kitty could be ugly.
I know how to talk to people.
I know how to interact with people, connect with people.
Yall thought that Timberwolves game was wild?
(00:23):
Wait ‘til I tell you what went on at Walmart this morning.
Disrespectful.
Like, full stop, disrespectful.
Heads think I'm just gonna remain the same person
I was in high school and be stuck with them
in their 15 year old mentality.
Only toxic people weaponize things that people can't change.
You're so used to Instagram models.
You don't actually know how to talk.
What am I supposed to rap about?
(00:43):
Like I have to go get a colonoscopy
or something like that? For somebody,
for me to tell them, hey, I'm having a bad day.
Not a lot of people have that.
Tell her to sell some of those handbags she's got.
She's got over a thousand handbags.
This is what's going on in AI porn.
Look, look, look, look, look at her head.
We look good as hell in 4K.
The
(01:04):
The
The
(01:26):
The
Welcome back to The Cris David Show, I’m your host, Cris David
Here to join us for a brand new Cris David Show #guytalk Men’s Discussion Panel we have
My guys Joey tha heckler Baston aka Joey Black
And Khai Black Khyna the chunky Jaden Smith Thomas
Clap it up and give my guys a warm Cris David Show welcome. We back!
We back!
(01:50):
Now I know it’s Black Friday and we all have turkey hangovers and all.
And I saw some wild shit this morning
while I was out in these Black Friday streets.
I’ll get to that later, but listen, let's just jump right in.
If you're within the sound of my voice,
you know that the Black Friday sales kicked off weeks ago.
As a matter of fact, the holiday shopping season
seems like it gets earlier and earlier.
(02:10):
I kid you not, I saw Christmas ads back in August.
According to a holiday shopping trend report from Adobe,
the discounts being offered this year
will reach record highs.
Even though there are plenty of great sales today,
the best prices will still come around cyber week.
Today is the best day to get a TV at a new discount.
(02:31):
Tomorrow is expected to bring the deepest discounts
on laptops.
Toys and apparel will be at their best prices on Sunday
and Cyber Monday will be the ideal time
to purchase electronics and appliances.
Now the good people over at Consumer Reports
have some Black Friday shopping tips
to help us all find the best offers.
(02:52):
Tip number one, start early.
Now, you should have started shopping back in October,
but I won't go too far in on that ass.
Sales have been going on for weeks now
and retailers are offering deals on items
in virtually every category of human consumption.
Many retailers have holiday refund and return policies
that include partial refunds for items that go on sale
(03:15):
for less later in the season.
For example, Target offers price match adjustments
for anything bought in the store or online
between October 22nd and Christmas Eve.
If you see that the price has dropped,
contact customer service and they'll refund you
the difference, make sure you have your receipts.
Look at Target trying to redeem themselves.
(03:35):
I see you playa.
Number two, shop online.
While many deals are available in store,
you may have more luck and more options
by shopping on your phone or computer.
In recent years, retailers have offered
more of the same promotions online as they do in stores.
A lot of stores were closed yesterday,
so this may be the thing to do
(03:56):
if you're really trying to pick up something
for the holidays.
Tip number three, use websites and apps.
In order to judge how good the deals really are
in crunch time, you need to track prices.
The good thing is you don't have to go retailer by retailer
to compare prices.
The Consumer Reports website lists the current prices
at various outlets for all the products in their ratings.
(04:18):
You can also try Google Shopping,
Price Grabber and Shopzilla.
When you're in a store, smartphone apps such as Buy Via,
Shopkick, ShopSavvy and Shopular
let you scan barcodes or QR codes to compare prices
and get discounts and coupons.
Listen baby, let me get what's on the coupon.
(04:38):
Also, look into browser extensions like CamelCamelCamel,
Keepa and Honey, which will show you price histories,
price alerts and available coupons when you shop online.
Tip number four, use loyalty programs.
Store loyalty programs often grant members early access
to coupon sales and promotions,
(04:59):
then let them earn rewards on what they buy.
Tip number five, get social.
The Facebook and Instagram feeds of your favorite retailers
are a great way to find out about exclusive deals
and promotions.
Retailers will often reward customers
who like or follow them with special alerts
to discounts and incentives.
(05:20):
Text and social media posts are also an easy way
to share Black Friday shopping intel
with friends and family.
Tip six, create a budget and stick to it.
Black Friday sales are designed to get you shopping
and buying things that you weren't intending to buy.
Since it's easy to get caught up in overspend,
plan ahead of time of how much you want to spend
(05:42):
and do your best to resist impulse buying,
especially if you're not sure how good a deal is.
I know that if you use your credit card to shop,
a lot of them will double the manufacturer's warranty.
You just gotta watch out for those interest-free promotions.
I mean, they're not so bad if you're disciplined enough
to pay off the balance before the promotional period is over,
but if you aren't, you're gonna be stuck paying
(06:03):
the full interest on the full amount of the purchase.
Tip number seven, check all store policies in advance.
It's always good to know a store's price match
and return policies.
Mostly all major retailers
have some form of price match policy.
However, some stores may suspend their price match guarantees
on certain items this weekend,
(06:25):
so do your researches and read the fine print.
Check the store's return and exchange policies
to make sure that they won't charge you a restocking fee.
Now, these last three tips apply strictly to TVs.
Today, Black Friday is the day you will see
the biggest discounts on televisions.
I saw TVs this morning with discounts as high as 35, 40%.
(06:49):
So if you're looking to upgrade your TV, do it.
I mean, we look good as hell in 4K.
Some stores are selling low-priced TVs made specifically
for Black Friday called derivatives,
as they're derived from mainstream models
and have scaled-back features,
such as fewer HDMI inputs or a simpler remote control.
Consumer Reports says they perform just as good,
(07:10):
even though they run 100 to $150 cheaper.
We won't say names, but we all know what those models are.
Maybe you don't want one for your living room,
but perhaps you have a son or daughter
who's going off to school next summer,
or you have a guest room or an office,
or if you cook a lot like me,
you might want a small, simple flat screen
to put in your kitchen.
(07:30):
Check out a derivative or knockoff,
as we say where I’m from, model.
Speaking of cheap, beware the cheapest set.
Doorbusters draw people in with visions of savings,
but the TVs are not always worth the price.
Keep in mind that you're going to be watching
football games, Christmas movies,
The Cris David Show, the Super Bowl,
(07:53):
and a whole lot of programming on your new TV
for years and years.
If you're not happy with the features or the picture quality,
you're going to regret not spending that extra $50 to $100
to get what you really wanted.
Also, retailers have more wiggle room
on a step-up or flagship model,
so don't hesitate to ask for a better price
(08:14):
regardless of the time of the year.
I dig Consumer Reports,
because they really just want us to do well
out here in these mean retail streets.
We have some shipping deadlines here as well.
Keep in mind, earlier is better,
because you never know how long a retailer takes the ship,
especially this time of year,
especially with small businesses and independent sellers,
(08:36):
like on eBay and Etsy.
Always check their FAQ or shipping and return sections
to get accurate shipping information.
But now, if you're one of those last-minute spirits,
don't worry, we got you.
In order to send gifts via USPS,
you'll need to ship by Saturday, December 16th
for a Ground Advantage.
(08:58):
Monday, December 18th for Priority,
or Wednesday, December 20th for Priority Mail Express.
All of that information is up at usps.com.
With UPS, you must ship by Tuesday, December 19th
for 3 Day Select,
Wednesday, December 20th for 2nd Day air,
(09:19):
or Thursday, December 21st with Saturday delivery options.
For Next Day Air,
Thursday, December 21st is your shipping day,
or Friday, December 22nd with Saturday delivery options.
For Ground and Ground Saver,
UPS has a website where you can enter the addresses
you'll be shipping to and from
(09:39):
for detailed shipping estimates.
That site is ups.com/CTC.
C for calculate, T for time, and C for cost.
If you're shipping with FedEx,
your Ground Economy deadline is early this year,
Wednesday, December 13th.
(10:00):
For FedEx Express Saver, Tuesday, December 19th.
FedEx 2 Day and 2 Day AM, Wednesday, December 20th,
and for FedEx Same Day, that day is Friday, December 22nd.
For FedEx Ground and FedEx Home Delivery deadlines,
visit fedex.com.
Get those gifts shipped out now.
(10:21):
Matter of fact, as soon as you're done watching us,
place your orders so that they get there on time
because 30 days comes at you fast.
A month really doesn't feel like a month anymore.
But Khai, I mean, what do you think?
Good tips, right?
I mean, they're great tips.
One thing is always have a strategy, right?
What am I buying?
How do I buy it?
What do I want?
(10:41):
And I'm saying quality over quantity, right?
I think a lot of times we get into this name brand thing,
right?
We look at things as electronics, but real talk.
They're all the same parts, all the same chips.
It's really a matter of if it's something
for a long-term purchase or if it's something for tomorrow.
So I think the biggest thing with any of this is
(11:02):
What is my game plan?
how do I go about it?
And can I save as much as possible?
There you go.
Joey Black, what about you?
I think preparation is the most important thing.
If you're prepared, like you said,
like make sure things go out the 17th or before.
Like I'm a last minute person.
So me waiting the week of Christmas
(11:24):
to go get all the presents is not smart
because you go to the UGG store,
they don't have anything you need.
You go to wherever you just got to.
Now you're at the mercy of everybody else
and all of the traffic.
So being prepared and doing those types of things,
like that's always gonna help you out
and you won't have to worry.
Like my sister-in-law, she gets her done.
(11:45):
She's already done.
Like our presents are under the tree already.
I don't have to worry about my presents with her.
So she doesn’t have to worry about it.
That's how you do it.
I don't know, Joey, she need to rub off on you a little bit
because that's how you do it.
Like I'm done.
I've been done since like September.
So.
Yeah, no, she's done since like May.
That's too early.
That is, man, that is kind of early.
Wow.
That's like super early.
(12:06):
Yeah, she gets it done.
We're informative here at The Cris David Show.
I am an Afro futuristic,
Magical Negro version of Joan Hamburg.
And if you don't know who she is, ask your grandparents.
But those tips were courtesy of Consumer Reports.
Good morning.
Khai, go ahead and introduce yourself to everybody.
Khai Thomas
(12:26):
The one and only, your favorite person's favorite person.
I'll say that much.
Man of many trades, master of all.
Really just out here living the best of life.
That's all I can really say.
Taking it one day and one turn up at a time.
Listen.
All right, so let me tell you guys.
Me and the Khai hung out.
(12:47):
This was at Industry City in Brooklyn in Sunset Park.
Look, I know we look related, we're not related, I promise.
But yo, but listen, listen.
Khai's friends, right?
Khai brought his friends with him.
And his friends were trying to get me to drink moonshine.
So listen, listen.
He had his homie R.K.
(13:07):
R.K. is like this short, like Mobb Deep looking dude.
And then he had these two Spanish guys with him.
And they were like, trying to give me bottles and shit.
And I'm like, yo, man, I don't know what it is
with you people trying to give me liquor when I'm out.
Anyway, Khai, you be in these streets hard body.
I can't hang out like I used to, but it was good seeing you.
And then we, I saw you Upstate too.
(13:28):
I mean, you pulled up for like two minutes
and then you bounced.
I'm only trying to be there for the photo, right?
Just proof I was here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now I'm here for a good time, not a long time.
I feel you.
By the way, Khai, how's your mom doing?
How's your mom?
She's doing really well, really, really well.
You know, we’re focused on her next phase of life.
I think with parents, it's always assumed that they have it,
(13:50):
but how do you help them navigate
towards what retirement looks like?
You've been working for 40 plus years.
What's the next stage?
So parents are stubborn, but that's what we're looking towards.
Like, hey mom, it's time to just relax.
Let's go to the spa, get you on your bridge club,
all the good stuff.
But you know, I still got it in me.
(14:10):
I'm like, I know you do, but we'll talk.
Let's just sit down.
Let's relax for once.
Well, listen, we here at The Cris David Show
Send our love to Aunt Bootsy, Khai's mom,
and the entire Thomas family.
And Joey, go ahead and introduce yourself to the good people.
I'm Joey, Joey Black, Joey Crew, Joey Chronicles.
(14:31):
Just your everyday average guy, you know?
Get a turn up, have fun, you know?
Crack a joke, you know what I mean?
Make you smile.
And then maybe a little bit of heckler,
because everybody likes a little bit of mean comedy,
because it's true most of the time.
Just a little bit.
All right.
Now listen, we got to get to how Joey got the name Joey tha
Heckler.
(14:52):
OK, so back in April, I went to this comedy show out in Philly
called Joke Sistas.
If you follow me on IG, and I don't know why you wouldn’t
since you're watching, and listening.
I have some post up from that show, which was created
by Cris David show alumni, One Funny Sistah, Ms. Joanna
Briley.
Shout out to Joanna, by the way, too.
Happy belated Joanna.
(15:14):
So this guy over here, all right, he comes in,
and he's with his mom.
He's with his girl, Britney.
He's with his sister, Victoria, and her dude.
Good looking group of people.
So Joey and Victoria, they bounce.
And they come back like 20 minutes later
with these brown bags.
So Joanna's still up there doing crowd work,
(15:35):
and she doesn't miss a beat.
And they walk back in, and she's like, what's that?
And so Joey goes, 1800.
And she's like
I love tequila! It's keto friendly
My family crest is a tequila bottle.
So then they get cups, and they're mixing it
with some strawberry shit, and everybody is drinking thanks
to Joey and Victoria.
(15:56):
So let's clap it up for that.
So wait, but then, so the comics go up,
and they're doing their bits and everything,
and Joey's doing Q&A with each and every one of them.
And then he's getting more and more tipsy,
and doing more and more Q&A.
And I'm a few rows back, and I'm like, yo, who is this cat?
And Khai, he wasn't rude at anything.
(16:18):
He wasn't nasty with it.
But I'm just like, son, chill.
So at the end, Joanna shouts me out and everything.
And after the show, I'm in the back.
I'm socializing and doing what I do.
So this dude right over here, not Khai,
but this dude right over here, he comes up to me,
and he's like, yo, I want to be on your show.
(16:38):
And I'm like, well, are you comedian or something?
Because he reminds me of Jimmy Martinez,
if you guys know who Jimmy Mar is.
But anyway, I'm like, what do you do?
And he's like, I'm Joey, Joey Black, have a drink.
So I'm looking at his sister.
I'm like, are you responsible for him?
And she's cracking up, and he's like, come on, man,
let me make you a drink.
(16:58):
So I'm like, dude, I can't be driving
with alcohol in a red cup.
I might as well just turn my headlights off
and not wear my seat belt for all that.
Just go straight James Bond with it, you know?
So you know me.
Alright, you know I'm resourceful.
I use everything.
I'm the Hood's MacGyver.
(17:20):
So I spot these togo cups, you know, the kind for coffee,
and then with the lid over on the counter.
So I grab the cup, and I go, OK, put it in this,
just a little bit.
He's like, oh, man, come on, you got to have some with me now.
And he's pouring that shit like crazy.
And I'm like, I gotta drive, nigga.
And so I take a sip, and I'm like, damn, this is nice.
(17:40):
And so he fills up my 12-ounce to-go cup with 1800
strawberry Tres Agaves, you know, with Khai.
We turned it into WaWa with alcohol.
And this was when I knew that he was that dude, OK?
So Joey, I have to thank you, because you actually
gave me the idea for The Cris David Show, Men's Discussion
(18:04):
Panel.
#guytalk me the Men's Discussion Panel.
Because I said, how else are we going to have him on?
So yeah, one drink started all of this.
So and Joey was actually supposed
to be with us on our very first Men's Panel,
but he was under the weather.
So shout out to Joey's mom, Joey's sister,
shout out to Britney, the whole Baston fan.
(18:26):
And anyway, speaking of drinks, what's
the drink, the official drink for this episode
of The Cris David Show, Men's Discussion Panel?
So what is this right here?
What is this called?
It's Espolòn.
Espolòn.
And where can we find Espolòn at?
Where can we find it?
(18:47):
At your, if you're in the Philly area,
at your local Fine Wine and Spirits.
And if you're in Brooklyn, where Khai is,
just go to the corner store, the Bodega.
They're selling liquor.
Or go to your local moonshine man.
Go ahead, pause the show, make that drink,
and we'll wait for you.
Just don't wash it down with tater tots.
It's a little inside joke.
(19:08):
All right, so guys, I have this letter
that one of our viewers sent in for our Sex Coach,
Mrs. Toni Drumwright-Antoine.
So get your questions in ASAP.
But this is our Men's Panel.
So we wanted to give our perspective on this.
So here's the letter.
It says, anonymous, it just comes from anonymous.
Anonymous writes, I've been dating this guy I met
(19:30):
off of a dating app for seven months now.
When I ask him what he thinks about us,
he really doesn't give me any clear answers.
I asked my girlfriends what they think is going on with him
and they tell me he probably isn't big on relationships.
I like him and I wanna be his girl.
How long does it take for a man to know
(19:51):
if he really wants to be with you?
First and foremost, I think it's clear communication, right?
A lot of this is just vibes and feelings.
At least you're like, oh, I asked a question.
I didn’t like the answer I got back.
So I don't know how I feel about it
versus what's direct and clear.
But I think what I'm wanna say is,
what is the dynamic of a relationship?
(20:14):
What are we looking for, right?
How are we defining it?
Did we go into it love?
We're kicking it, we're having a good time
trying to find one another or we're dating with intention.
And I think more so in the fact of,
we need to see people through seasons.
And sometimes seven months is maybe not the right time
(20:34):
because have I seen you at your best?
Have I seen you at your worst?
Have we gone through a little scuffle between each other
or has it always been a honeymoon phase?
So seven months, it is a time,
but at the same time, if it's summer and fall,
what does winter look like?
No birthdays, no holidays.
I don't know who you are in these big milestones.
So honestly, it's a few things
(20:56):
just to take away from that is first,
clear communication.
Even the question of, well, what do you mean by that?
I think even the question we got people where you say,
hey, how are you doing today?
I'm good.
Are you really good?
Oh snap, somebody asked me a follow-up question.
Maybe they sensed something.
(21:17):
Really do that because I think
the more you're questioning wondering,
you're gonna keep spinning versus just ask the question
and be prepared to have an uncomfortable conversation
because you'd rather have that versus
what you're going through right now,
submitting anonymous questions to get answers.
Joey, you've been with your girlfriend,
(21:38):
The lovely Britney for five years.
Speak some wisdom into this young woman's life.
So it's really, so I haven't been dating
in a very long time.
So the dating scene is a lot different
than it was five years ago.
So I know that people are very intentional
(22:01):
or they should be more intentional.
And sometimes like he was saying,
you might just need to ask the question,
but also it's hard because you're on Tinder
and you're on all these other like,
with social media and everything like that,
you're able to access a lot more people a lot faster.
So I was next to a couple the other day at a restaurant
(22:24):
and they're on a first date and she was like,
what are your flaws?
What are your this?
What are your that?
And he's probably like, whoa,
like that's a lot you're speeding right now.
Like we just enjoyed the first date.
Them being seven months in, he's probably like,
maybe I'm still trying to figure this out.
She seems, or the anonymous person seems like
they're ready for the relationship.
So that timing might be different.
(22:45):
Like I don't know how everybody's timing is,
but that is something that should definitely be addressed
because some people, some people,
as soon as they're dating, they're dating for a reason.
And I want to be in a relationship.
And it doesn't take me five months to know
that I like somebody.
It only takes me X, Y, Z amount of time.
But some other people was like, no,
(23:06):
I got to get to know you.
I got to get to learn you.
Maybe just the dating part of it is
for me to vet you properly.
So that when I do ask you to be my significant other
or anything like that,
then that's how it'll progress.
But then also some people just want to have fun.
And if I say, I want to just have fun with you,
you might not take me seriously anymore
(23:27):
because you're like, no, I'm not here
just to have fun with you.
I'm here for a real reason.
So I think it can get very dicey,
but I think it is still very important
that you guys do have those conversations
to find out at what stage,
because I've seen it before,
like friends of mine, they're like talking to somebody
(23:48):
for years and they never became official.
But was that because of a lack of communication?
or was that because there was no standards set early on
that you might be able to get the,
my mom calls it the boyfriend-lite.
You get all the boyfriend or all the girlfriend benefits
without actually having a boyfriend,
girlfriend title or responsibility.
(24:09):
So I don't know.
And I think that couple who you were talking about,
you overheard them at the next table.
I love that you're out ear hustling by the way.
But I think that's something they should have talked about
before they even went out on the date.
That's something that initially they should have
hammered out intentions and expectations
(24:30):
way before going out to dinner.
Because I just know me personally,
I'm not going anywhere with anyone
‘til we've had those discussions.
I think it's interesting, right?
Because we're at even my season,
apps mean something different, right?
Apps are interview.
We already established we like each other.
And now these are quality versus if I met you out
(24:51):
at the restaurant, at the bar,
I don't have time to ask you about your flaws.
I'm still trying to get to know you on the natural tip.
So we're gonna do that on the first date.
And so we're doing for the app,
it's already almost like we're getting some of the basic
things out of the way versus the natural going of,
if I met somebody out at the bar,
I'm not asking her, hey, you wanna drink?
And what's your season?
(25:13):
That's not gonna happen that way.
And so that's why I look at it in a sense of
how are we going about it?
Because the way we engage this dictates
how we go about it in the future.
That's just my thoughts because apps mean
I'm looking for someone I'm seeing a specific thing,
I found it, we're going intentional
versus I saw you on Tuesday,
we text a little bit, hey, let's catch coffee.
(25:35):
Because I met you not in that setting, in that mindset of,
hey, you caught my eye,
I'm not asking for your
So I look at the attention of how we did we engage
whether naturally saw you, good moment, rom-com,
or here's the interview, you pass the test,
you check the boxes, now we're going out.
I look at it that way, that's just me.
(25:55):
Got you.
No, no, no, no, I totally get it.
It makes a lot of sense.
And I mean, cause you're meeting somebody out at a bar,
you're not gonna be like, yeah,
so what's your five year plan?
Yeah, but also that's what they're doing on dating sites.
Like you're literally, like it is an interview.
Like I'd probably be, if I'm back in the streets,
they threw me back,
if Britney ever threw me back in the water,
(26:16):
then they would probably do that to me.
Like, are you, they're gonna probably,
like there's certain expectations.
Like, first of all, you have to meet
whatever those expectations are.
Hopefully they're clear cut enough
or you naturally do them so that you don't automatically
get ghosted or red flagged them already by saying,
hey, let's go to get coffee.
(26:37):
Well, why don't you take me on a real date?
Like, because I don't know you yet.
You know what I mean?
So you have stuff like that.
And then when I do that, they also, like I said,
no one wants their time wasted.
I don't wanna waste my time with this other person.
They don't wanna waste their time with me.
So they're trying to probably get all,
let's get all of the paperwork done now
so that we can just enjoy each other's company
(26:58):
for the remaining of the time.
I'm curious though, how'd you and Britney meet?
So it's funny, so I like chicken wings.
Everybody likes chicken wings.
Sunday pizza, chicken wing favorite right here.
So I've done that with my brother and sister.
We had a sibling day, you know,
like we do corny stuff like that.
We had sibling day, we went to,
(27:20):
New York had one, it's called
the Long Island Chicken Wing Festival.
So that was over the summertime.
And then about five years ago,
Philadelphia has their own version
of that same type of festival,
where you have different vendors,
they make chicken wings and then you kinda go there.
They have beer vendors.
So you have, you get beer and chicken wings together, right?
Match made in heaven.
So we go, I'm with my sister this time,
(27:43):
my brother couldn't make it.
So I'm with her and her husband.
And we're just going, some people,
they have great chicken wings.
Some people, they're kind of bland
and gray and scary looking, but still a good time.
So my brother-in-law, he was,
his friend was dating this girl.
This girl happened to be Britney's sister,
(28:03):
her twin sister.
And they ended up coming to the Chicken Wing Festival
with him.
So they all met up.
So we meet, I meet him, he's a cool guy.
And then he brought these two other young ladies with him.
So we're like, all right, cool.
I didn't pay her any mind because I didn't know her.
So then we all decided after,
like we're a little bit buzzed, we go get,
(28:24):
after we ate, we ended up going to go bowling,
just to like keep the party going.
So we go bowling and then at this point,
everybody's coupled up with me and her.
Like everybody has their significant other
who they're talking to.
So I'm alone, she's alone.
And she also had a very like uninterested face.
(28:45):
She looked like she wanted to get out of there.
Like she was not having a good time.
So of course me being the sly fox that I am,
I'm like, hey, why are you so mad looking?
You know, like just chopping it up.
So she kind of put a smile on her face.
So then I'm like, okay, cool.
So since we're bowling,
bowling is a competitive sport, I'm competitive.
So I said, hey, let's do this.
(29:06):
If I win this first game of bowling against you,
because everybody else is coupled up,
I win against you, you buy a drink.
If you win, I buy the drink.
So I win the first game naturally.
So that's great.
So she buys the drink.
We had the first round, we're still talking.
We're enjoying each other's company.
Now it's the second game.
So I had to up the stakes a little bit.
I said, how about this?
(29:28):
If I win, you give me your number.
If I lose, you don't have to give me your number.
Long story short, and this is the best part of the story,
I lose that game.
That game is totally lost to me.
I lose 105 to like 100.
She definitely beats me.
So I look at her.
I didn't give her puppy dog eyes,
but I gave her a look like, so what are we doing now?
(29:50):
And then she gave me a smile and said,
I'm still gonna give you your number.
And I said, of course you are.
You have to, that's part of the mating ritual dance.
So I gave her the dance and she gave me her number.
And then we watched football
and now we're five years, everything's history.
Nice.
Youse look like a 2000s, you know, UPN sitcom couple.
(30:12):
So I mean, you know, it was meant to be. Anonymous.
I'm gonna keep it real with you.
He doesn't like you.
We're men.
We're not that complex.
If he liked you, he would have shown you immediately.
I mean, you heard Joey's story.
I mean, a man who likes you shows up
and you don't have to pine for confirmation.
(30:33):
You'll know, make sure, and he'll make sure you do.
And you're 30, you should know better.
And you two are obviously having sex
because you sent this in for our Sex Coach.
Anyway, if he's around,
ask your father what he thinks of this guy.
If you don't have your father, ask your grandfather
or another man in your family who's been married
or in a long-term relationship. Best.
(30:55):
We get some really interesting letters in for Coach Toni.
We get some wild cards too, because one was like,
I think my husband's gay, please advise.
Like, just so deadpan.
Like, no details, just please advise.
And even Coach Toni was like,
you gotta give us more details
as to why you think your husband's gay.
But that went well.
(31:16):
You guys wanna do another one?
We got another one here.
Run it. Let's go for it.
So this one's from a guy named Steve.
Steve's 40, he's from Brooklyn.
Shout out to Brooklyn.
Yes. Steve writes,
I'm trying to get my new lady into a fetish that I have
for doing it out in the open.
(31:36):
I like fooling around in the park, on the bus and the train,
in Ubers and taxis and even at the movies.
I like my lady a lot,
but I don't know how she's gonna take it.
See me and my last chick used to get it in all over the place.
Up in the dressing room at Macy's,
I sure hope, I hope to God it wasn't Fulton Street.
(31:56):
In the restaurant booth, just anywhere we got the urge.
I need some tips on getting my new lady
to be more of a freakbody, as you say.
Please help peace, Steve.
Now, Khai, Steve sounds like one of your homeboys,
so I'm gonna let you take this first.
Honestly, with all this, it's talking, it's communication,
(32:18):
but the thing is, it's a matter of comfortability, right?
So how far into this am I introducing this?
And I think the reason why people have the compatibility
In the bedroom with intimacy and things, we're not talking,
we're going about what we've been trained.
A lot of them are doing what they've been doing since 16.
They're not learning new tricks,
they're not doing whatever else.
And my old partner, my guy,
(32:39):
this is an old partner, he's someone new.
So have that conversation, understand,
because now you're in a situation, right?
This is what you like, but what are her likes?
How do you find compromise?
Because it seems very like this is what me, me, me want
versus her.
And she's uncomfortable, how do you ease her into that?
we don't have to have a full blown back
to the Macy's, but hey, maybe we try something in the car
(33:02):
in a public spot in the park.
Then we ease into something more, a little bit more public.
But how do you get someone who's never done that,
especially when you are of older age,
you're set in your ways?
This is new, new is scary for a lot of folks.
And that brings discomfort,
because now it's now becoming oh the reason
why you can't enjoy your time together
(33:23):
is because of how you're not able to do
what my old girl did.
That might bring insecurity to her,
because maybe she wants to be there for you,
but she can't.
But in all honesty, it's either,
A, having a conversation so they know exactly,
in the bedroom, hey, I enjoy what we do,
but I want to take it another step.
And then ease, right?
No one's going into something where it's like,
hey, new kink, new fetish, day one, let's go.
(33:45):
You gotta grow into it, the comfortability.
So I would just say,
conversation, communication also,
show her what it actually means,
because I can tell you, I want to do something in the park.
What does that really mean?
Is it full on sex?
Is it maybe some more hands play, foreplay?
There's different levels of things.
So I think it's having that clarity of,
(34:05):
what are my needs and how can you help me meet my needs?
And how can we do it together?
Joey, any advice for Steve?
Yeah, first of all, you just gotta know,
everybody's different.
Some people have a higher sex drive.
Some people have a lower sex drive.
Some people like to be more spontaneous.
Some people like it more structured.
I like, some people like vanilla sex.
(34:27):
Everybody's different, it's okay.
What it comes down to is, he's saying communication,
but also, once you have those conversations,
you gotta understand that that is not your ex.
She might not be the freak that you want her to be,
and that might be okay.
Or if it's not okay, then you gotta see
where there is compromise, or if there is no compromise,
then maybe that might not be the best fit.
(34:48):
Just because if you need that,
then you might be lacking that,
because she might be like,
some people are very adamant about not doing things
like that.
Like some people are older, like he's in his 40s, right?
If you're in your 40s, that might be something
that an older woman might be like,
that's a young girl thing.
I'm not young like that anymore
(35:09):
to just do it in the car anymore.
We don't do it in the backseat.
Yes, as me, I'm at 35, I'm like, yeah,
let's do it in the backseat, why not?
I haven't done that, you know what I mean?
I haven't done, I haven't illegally drank
in a long time either,
so let's do stupid stuff like that, that was a joke.
But that's really, some people are like, no,
sexual intercourse is made for the home,
(35:31):
or made for something a little bit more private.
And unless you gauge it,
unless she gives you that type of mentality
that she's with doing stuff like that,
then you have to find out some way.
So either you could try to introduce it
like little by little and see how far that can go,
or you basically have a full blown conversation
(35:53):
and see what her hard lines are like going forward.
Like, would you be into this?
Some people are into swinger clubs,
some people are not into swinger clubs.
So having those conversations to see,
or you can at least gauge it to see where you are
and where you fall in.
Don't, I would think if they're not really into that,
you would do it incrementally and see if they'll
(36:15):
at least get to a place where it's kind of a middle ground.
But I guess, like I said, I know a lot of older women
that are like, I probably wouldn't do that
just because they think that is something more of a,
more of a, it's an image, like an immaturity type of thing.
So.
Okay, Steve, I'm gonna hit you like Coach Toni would say,
and say communication is key.
(36:37):
Let your lady know that you have this fetish
and that you like to explore this with her.
Now I'm all for sexual exploration,
exhibitionism, voyeurism, et cetera,
but be smart out in those streets, Steve,
because you don't wanna fuck around
and wind up on the registry.
But you know what, you know what, Steve?
Make being an assertive communicator
(36:59):
your New Year's resolution.
Do you guys make New Year's resolutions?
I don't because the thing is,
any goal, will I achieve it
or do I set myself for failure, right?
Consider that anxiety of, oh, it's on the,
it's something I need to do, but if I don't do it,
how do I feel about myself?
Honestly, I think anything with a New Year,
(37:20):
it's more of a perspective, like,
oh, I'm gonna have a fresh mindset.
Maybe there's something that I wanna think about differently
or how I approach things, but honestly, a goal,
goals are sometimes tough to achieve, what's realistic?
So honestly, I don't have,
like goals or resolutions is more so,
let's reflect and see what we can do better.
It's like one of those things,
(37:41):
like New Year, New Me type of thing.
And it's like, if you wanna make any active changes,
you don't need a set time to make those active changes.
If you don't wanna drink anymore, just stop drinking.
If you don't want it, you don't have to wait,
like, well, no, like, I wanna stop drinking,
but Thanksgiving is coming, and then I have Christmas,
and then after that, then after Christmas,
(38:02):
and then New Year's, and then after that,
then I'm gonna stop drinking, and then I'll cut it down,
and I won't smoke as much, and I won't do,
like, if you wanna make those changes,
you can make them at any point.
If you don't feel like you're ready to stop drinking,
then don't stop drinking.
If you don't think your drinking is a problem,
then it might be a problem,
but until you see it as a problem, then it's not a problem.
So those type of things, like, those changes
(38:25):
that you wanna see or you wanna make,
you can make them at any point.
So if you like to do it as, like,
maybe a ritual type of thing, well, every year,
I try to do something different,
and I can see how that could be somewhat beneficial,
but if you really are trying to make resolutions and changes,
you can do that at any point.
You don't have to wait till the New Year to do that.
You know, it's hard enough just coping with the nonsense
(38:49):
during the holidays, and I'm just like,
why should I punish myself trying to stick to something
that I can start at any time?
I mean, if I were to start a resolution,
I would start in November.
I mean, it's a head start.
And plus, my birthday's in January,
like literally the first week of January.
I'm too busy indulging to start a regimen.
(39:10):
But how do you guys cope through the holidays?
So I'm pretty chill.
Like, I found that people get stressed out about stuff
because they just, they take too much of it,
like, they internalize too much of it.
Like, if you can't buy the best gift
for your significant other or for your families
and things like that, get them what you can, and it's okay.
(39:32):
Like, you're beating yourself up.
Like, I know that my kid wanted the new iPhone
or something like that.
Like, if you can't get them the new iPhone,
and you can get them something that's still like,
that's still something from the heart
and it's still meaningful, and it's still,
it's something that they can utilize
and use and things like that, then that's still fine.
Like, you don't have to,
it doesn't have to be anything more than that.
(39:54):
And also you don't have to beat yourself up
if you can't deliver.
Like, at the end of the day, like,
the reason why we get disappointed is
because we get disappointed in ourselves.
We don't, it's not because we,
it's because you feel like I should be able
to do these types of things.
I should be able to afford the new phone to give to my kid
because they deserve that,
and I want to be able to give that to them.
(40:16):
And that's very noble and everything like that.
But if you just don't have the means,
you don't have the means.
And that's okay too.
I feel like there's too much pressure.
I don't feel that pressure because I just never cared enough
to feel that pressure.
Like, if I can do it, then great.
And if I can't do it, then that's okay also.
(40:36):
Like, it's gonna have to be that way
because I work on machinery all day.
I can get mad at a machine all I want to,
but what I learned is that the machine never gets mad
because it's a machine.
And then the only person that is mad is me.
And the only person that it hurts is me.
So, why hurt myself?
(40:56):
Like, I don't have her feelings anymore.
I can't get mad at things.
Like, I can't get mad at a TV for being broken.
It's a TV.
Can't get mad back at it me either.
But what about you, Khai?
How do you cope through the holidays?
Yeah, I mean, I think we're in a culture of capitalism,
right?
It's all about dollars, spend it.
And I see time and time again, friends, others,
(41:20):
people going into debt for the season, right?
Like, you create this culture of.
You work 12 months to get rewarded now.
How do you change that culture
and maybe reward throughout the year?
But in true honesty, whatever you gotta do,
be okay with it, right?
I think one of the things we talk about is like,
how'd you get it?
I did like, be okay with being on it that way.
(41:42):
Be okay going forward.
I mean, we have car notes and everything,
all these different things out here.
It's okay to pay in pieces,
but honestly, you gotta make sure that
whatever you're doing for it,
you're doing it what satisfies you, right?
If my love language is gifts,
that's how I receive the love.
And everyone is receiving the same way.
(42:04):
But if all this season, I think it's truly a matter of,
will I get derive the pleasure I want
from doing this action?
But at the same time, it's tough
because not everyone has family.
I think it's a variety of stuff in your community.
That's why you see a lot of friendsgiving,
and white elephants, because not everyone can go to a home.
Not everyone has that in themselves.
So honestly, do what's best to surround yourself
(42:25):
with that one so you wanna feel love and joy,
because I think we might, there's some of us who are like,
oh, I gotta go to my mom's house, I gotta do this, uh-uh.
There's some of you who parents pass away,
don't have the luxury anymore.
And honestly, it's a season of,
we gotta get back to what it actually means, right?
Even for myself, day of, I'm sending out my mass text
of happy holidays to all my homies,
(42:46):
because they may not be getting that
for no one else.
And at least they're getting from me
to know that I care about you.
And yeah, we don't have to exchange gifts,
but you know the love is there.
And not everyone can get a flight home,
to Tennessee is gonna be expensive.
But I was able to have a moment
because my friends are like,
yeah, I'm home in my apartment by myself,
I don't have a meal.
You're going to the Asian takeout versus last week,
(43:07):
we broke bread together.
So honestly, how did I do the work to say,
I'm okay with whatever I'm, however I move.
And that's what I need.
And I think in society,
we're told we should be doing something else.
We should be acting like this.
Because in order to be accepted, that's what's needed.
But it's okay to march your own drum,
be your own little drummer boy.
(43:28):
Do what you wanna do.
And those that love you, respect you,
they'll be like, you know what?
I got you.
And I think we're getting away with community needs
versus what community represents.
Absolutely.
And you know what?
I think that's more meaningful.
And you know, you mentioned that white elephant thing.
I can't get down with that.
I heard about that, like what that is.
(43:49):
And I was just like, you not taking my gift from me.
But here's the thing, but with me,
I've learned to minimize contact.
Because I know that the holidays can be stressful
for some people.
And if you can't contact me, then you can't agitate me.
Simple set boundaries.
Protect your peace.
Protect your peace.
I mean, if you wanna see me so bad,
watch The Cris David Show.
(44:10):
Otherwise, you don't get a subscription to Cris+.
But anyway, since we have a couple new faces here.
I wanna know what you all think when people say
it's hard for men to make friends,
men to make friendships after high school.
So I was watching this thing like on Vice,
(44:30):
they had like, they have debates and like,
they had kind of like a man's panel type of thing
where they got men and they were just talking
about masculinity as a whole.
And that topic came up.
And what it really comes down to is that
the reason why people feel that way is that
for you to establish a friendship,
there has to be a certain level of trust
that you start to have with people, right?
(44:53):
But for you to trust somebody,
one part of trusting somebody is being able to be vulnerable.
But guys, showing vulnerability is showing
of lack of masculinity, kind of.
It's not saying that they are intertwined with each other,
but if like somebody, if somebody perceives a man
(45:14):
as being weak, it kind of almost means that they're,
they're not less masculine, but they're,
you can almost question their manhood a little bit.
You know what I mean?
Because men aren’t supposed to be weak.
Men are supposed to be strong.
Men are supposed to be courageous
and all these other types of things.
And all of those, once you have all of these
different characteristics together,
(45:34):
then you can label yourself as a man.
But you don't do, you won't like put yourself
in those type of situations or interactions because,
or you'll limit those because you don't want the world
to use that against you.
Basically use the world to use that against you.
So I feel like it's hard because nobody wants to open up
(45:58):
their spaces to be vulnerable with somebody
for it to not pan out the way that they exactly want to.
So it becomes a trust thing.
If somebody who's a little bit more trusting
probably has an easier time finding friends
because they're able to overcome some of the hurdles
(46:19):
of having a friendship with anybody.
Some other people that is gonna be a little bit
more difficult because they're not gonna let you in.
And everybody has acquaintances.
That's that surface level stuff.
Like I could talk to anybody and high five them.
But for somebody, for me to tell them,
hey, I'm having a bad day.
Hey, my girl's really pissing me off.
Like I'm really like, about to lose my mind.
(46:40):
My job is killing me.
Not a lot of people have that or outlets like that
because one that's a show,
like it shows that maybe you're not able to cope
with your everyday life.
And being able to talk it out that is coping
with your life, but sometimes that doesn't look
like your definition of what a man is supposed to.
The way I look at is the level of intimacy you have with it.
(47:04):
And I think the fact of the way men actually bond.
I think during the pandemic,
they said a lot of men lost friendships
because they were in the same circles that they hang out with.
If I go play ball to Y every Saturday, that's my boy.
My girl might be like, that's not your friend.
You just play ball.
I'm like, no, that's the guy who I played with
for the past six months.
See him every Saturday.
(47:24):
He's my guy.
But the thing is, I don't need to do brunch with him.
He's still my friend.
And I think it goes with that vulnerability
because if we're kicking on the bench,
like yo, what happened?
Oh yeah, Monday I got this thing.
Oh, tell me about it.
We're finding that space of commonality
where we can now be vulnerable in these spaces doing that.
But I think because when we look at friendships, right?
What's wrong, right?
(47:45):
Sometimes I feel with the realm of with women,
it has to be like best friend, bridesmaids,
who's at my wedding versus,
hey, can my guy come to the wedding?
He's the, he don't need a plus one,
but he's my guy who I hang out and bench press
with every day.
I look at it as we can have different types of friends
or different types of friendship,
but it doesn't all look the same.
I can be at the bar, see my guy at the bar every Friday.
(48:07):
We talk about a week
I don't know his last name.
How many men know their boy's last name?
It doesn't happen all the time,
but I know I'm a ride for that guy if I need to
because of the way he showed me up
when I see his character I know what he represents.
But I don't need know him from Monday to Friday,
I don't need see him.
But I think sometimes people need,
I need you in my pocket, need you by my side
(48:28):
versus in the moment, I know what you stand for,
I know what you see.
And there is a trust with you in that moment.
So it's one of those things that I think goes on a person.
What do I expect from a friend?
I have best friends, I have acquaintances
at different levels, but what am I really saying
of who is my friend?
Do I need someone I can call to?
(48:49):
You know what, sometimes we have to get
professional help for that.
That's when you have therapists.
My friend’s not supposed to be my therapist.
And I think sometimes with the friendship,
people put too much on that friendship
that the other person isn’t willing to accept.
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