April 5, 2024 • 57 mins
The Cris David Show #guytalk Men’s Discussion Panel is back, back! Watch and listen as we talk about current events, shape-ups, voting, “Black Jenga”, mental health, Tubi movies, Country music, wild dates, your fav(es), New York radio, and more! Cris drops science, Khai drops knowledge, and we’ll chat ‘bout Joey’s TV picks. We’ll also answer your questions on our new advice segment “Ask the Guys”.
With Joey Baston and Khai Thomas.
This episode is also available on YouTube: https://youtu.be/U_YiXjXXFOw
Follow @crisdavidtv & @thecrisdavidshow on Instagram
Visit www.crisdavidshow.com for more information
For voting resources, visit vote.gov.
For other party primary dates and filing deadlines for the General Election, visit fec.gov.
For help with addiction, text your zip code to 435748 or visit samhsa.gov.
To order from “The PHL Seamstress”, visit @coveredbynb
Want your question featured on our next “Ask the Guys” segment? Send your question to info@thecrisdavidshow.com. Be sure to place “Ask the Guys” in your subject line, and include your age, gender, and location. Only include your name if you don't wish to remain anonymous. Questions should be no more than 420 characters. For example, this paragraph is exactly 420 characters, your message shouldn't be longer than this.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Nope, nope, nope, I don't want to hear it.
(00:10):
Nope, I don't because you had plenty of time.
Yall had plenty of time.
Nope, nope, save it, save it.
But you know what?
We're going to help you last minute spirits out.
Me and Joey, and me and Khai, all three of us
are going to help you get registered to vote.
(00:31):
I mean, what’d you think I was talking about?
Anyway, welcome back to The Cris David Show.
I am your host, Cris David, here
to join us for our Spring Edition of The Cris David Show
Guy Talk Men’s Discussion Panel.
Welcome back our guys, Mr. Joey Baston and Mr. Khai Thomas.
(00:57):
Let's clap it up for them and give them
that warm Cris David Show welcome that only we can do.
And hey, Joey, Khai, we back, back.
But thank you both for being here.
Now listen, we got a lot to get to on this episode.
We got some Ask the Guys questions.
Thank you for sending those in.
(01:18):
The news has been crazy lately, so we'll touch on some of that.
We're going to talk about Joey Black's TV Pick.
We’ve got some Khai's Knowledge.
I'm going to drop some science, and we'll catch up
and see what's been happening since we've been gone.
A lot obviously.
Good tings, good tings.
But let's jump right in.
Today is Friday, April 5, 2024.
(01:59):
Our upcoming election is Tuesday, November 5.
That means we have approximately 214 days
until we elect the next president of the United States.
At the time of this broadcast, quite a few states
have already undergone primary elections.
Primaries are important because they narrow down
(02:20):
the many candidates of both parties
to the two who will be running against one another
in the November election.
Now listen to me and listen to me good.
The Cris David Show is not a politically based show.
However, the Cris David Show is a show
that informs and provides our audience with pertinent
(02:41):
information to enrich their lives.
Now, I'm not going to go in like I did last time.
You're welcome.
But voting is an integral part of the fabric of our culture.
And my job is to emphasize how important it is for all of us
to participate in one of our most fundamental practices.
(03:04):
214 days comes at you fast.
So let's all do our big one.
Visit vote.gov.
There you'll find more information
on how you can register to vote, find voter registration
deadlines, check your registration,
change your registration, and more.
Once again, that site is vote.gov.
(03:24):
Vote.gov.
Vote.gov.
Vote.gov.
This is technology, listen what do you want?
It's a civic duty, right?
I think sometimes, no matter how you feel about your position
here in the country, in America, African-American,
no matter what it turns, as a citizen,
it's a right that we have.
And so to be my civic duty, I'm going to vote.
(03:46):
But I think it also goes back to the fact of,
this could be unfelted, but there was a time
where we couldn't vote, right?
And for all those that fought before us,
imagine those seeing today and seeing
like they’re rolling over in their graves
because it's not being utilized.
But I think, honestly, it's a civic duty
to protect the greater good, even if the greater good doesn't
(04:09):
work for me.
I may not be in a certain tax bracket.
I may not get the benefit of that, whatever.
But the people who will benefit from whatever reason we vote,
they still need that.
And so for me to vote against self-interest versus,
do I believe in humanity?
So it really is voting because I have the belief,
you know, whatever, you know, conspiracy theories
and behind the scenes that the government does this and that.
I vote, hopefully, that something will make a change.
(04:31):
You have national and local level.
There's so many different types of voting
and everything like that.
So I vote on every different type of level
just because I want to see the different changes
in the community.
One thing about it is that you don't have to,
if you're really not stuck in one place, usually
if you have the means to go somewhere,
you can go anywhere where you enjoy
(04:52):
the political situation there.
If I don't like it in Pennsylvania here,
I can always go back to New York.
I don't like New York's laws, I can go to Texas.
And all of them, all three of those places
have totally different laws and everything like that.
So if you want to see changes on your local level
or something like that,
that's why you vote at your local level.
If you want to, like there's some of the changes
that we want to see on a national level,
that's something a little bit more intricate
(05:15):
and a little bit more complicated,
but you still vote for something that is going to continue
to make your life where you are better.
That's the whole point of it.
And I mean, some of us have grandparents
or great grandparents or in my case, parents
who were alive during a time when Black folks
were legally allowed to vote,
but we were prevented from doing so.
(05:37):
So I mean, we as this generation,
we just have a right to get out there
and exercise our power at the polls to make a change.
And I'm just blessed to have this platform
where we're able to inform people
and encourage them to do the right thing.
So get out there and get registered to vote.
Like don't play in the future’s face.
That's it.
But anyway, Black Khaina.
(06:01):
What have you been up to?
I heard you ran into one of my doppelgangers actually
out at a NSBE.
Wait, what are your doppelgangers?
Malcolm Jamal Warner.
People say I look like him.
I don't see it, but people say I look like him.
Malcolm & Eddie I know Malcolm.
(06:21):
I did, I did.
Honestly, I think what I've been doing for myself
knowing that it's getting nicer outside,
I actually would try and take care of my peace
because we know when summer hits,
it's going to be wild out here.
So really honestly, just try and get things
a protection routine.
So that way I have that structure back in my life.
So I think the biggest thing,
(06:42):
especially as an adult, catch up on sleep.
Like really setting up a true regimen
in like seven to nine hours of sleep
but the streets be calling.
So it's always tough to figure out
always how do I fit that in.
Always.
One drink and a happy hour turns into,
oh, we here?
(07:05):
But honestly, just try to do the most right.
So that way, because I look at it like,
we're already a quarter done with the year,
three months have gone by in 2024.
And it seems that it's been slowest, fastest point in time.
Next thing you know, we're going to be celebrating
New Year’s and stuff and wonder if it's like,
what am I doing with the last nine months of the year?
And so that's what I'm trying to say.
We got to play around, the trial period's over
(07:27):
and now it's time to get back at it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I feel you, Khai.
Khai, your mom's doing good, right?
Mom's doing well, mom's doing well.
Health is a priority for our family
and her recovery is just a one right now.
So with the help of other family members,
her own self-will determination,
she's where she needs to be.
Awesome.
Shout out to Khai's fam, by the way.
(07:47):
Joey Black, K lo k?
K lo k, loco?
I hear you've been jet setting on the company credit card.
Yeah, we have been.
In the most responsible way.
I want to say that, yeah, I'm not doing the fraudulent funds
because you could get fired for that.
So I'm on the up and up, so I'm a straight narrow.
(08:09):
But yeah, everything's been good.
I'm on my, we're on a little bit of a health journey.
We’ve put down the alcohol for just a little bit,
took a little break, and then we're gonna see
what the guns look like when we're all done after that.
So that's what the whole point of this is.
So feel good, like you said, health is wealth.
Health is the main priority.
So definitely, definitely take care of yourself
(08:32):
because if you don't take care of yourself,
nobody else will.
And it's sad like that,
but it is the hardest truth that I had to feel.
Like my favorite saying is that no one's coming to save you.
So I go on a plane every time and they say,
make sure you put your seat belts on
and make sure you, if the oxygen mask come on,
make sure you do yours before helping somebody else.
So you can't help anybody until you help yourself.
(08:54):
So make sure that you're secure and good,
and then you can be able to help other people
get secure and good also.
Yo, I just gotta say this.
Everyone really enjoyed both of you
on the last panel show we did.
So I got excellent feedback.
I'm happy we were able to get together again.
And thank you both for riding with your boy.
As for me, I've been up to a lot.
(09:16):
As you can see, the locs are gone.
Oh no.
But the beard is still bearding though.
Yeah, the locing beard.
I haven't seen that before.
Well, I took that out,
but you know, it's a little puff going on right now.
The beard is still bearding.
You know, I've been decluttering.
I've been, like all three of us have been on
kind of like the same journey, just like decluttering.
(09:38):
Physically and mentally, you know,
preparing ourselves for the next phase of life, you know.
And that's what I'm doing.
Preparing myself for, you know, where my career is going.
You know, good tings a gwan.
Good things are going on.
Before I forget, we have an official drink for this episode
of the Cris David Show Men's Discussion panel.
(09:59):
All right, Khai's got his,
some where I got mine right here.
But Joey, what's that drink?
What's that drink for today?
So we're going with the hard stuff, guys.
We're going old fashioned lemonade.
Your famous three ingredients, natural water,
that good old Domino sugar,
and the lemons that you get from the local market.
(10:21):
Put the three together, stir it up,
then you have the magic that we call lemonade.
Listen, here we go.
And we got to put Joey on the spot really quick.
Joey, six months sober, right?
Six months?
It's actually eight.
My last drink was July 28th of last year, 2023.
So I started doing a gym regimen
(10:42):
and I was drinking a lot, definitely was drinking a lot.
So at that time, it was just like, what does it look like?
Cause I've seen some other like influencers
and other guys like when they,
if they do something dramatic with their bodies,
they'll stop drinking also and stuff like that.
So I was like, all right, what would my progress look like
if I just stopped drinking?
And originally it was supposed to be for like a couple of
(11:04):
weeks, get back at it.
Then a couple of weeks turned into, all right,
let's see if we can do the three months.
And then after the three months came,
some of my biggest partiers are like,
are we going to do it again or what?
I was like, all right, let's do, I'll come back in six months.
Six months was February and now we're just now in April.
So now we're about eight months.
See?
Listen, Joey, congratulations.
(11:27):
And listen, everybody, out of respect for Joey's journey,
this drink and all future drinks will be non-alcoholic
as well as, Keto-friendly.
I'm kidding, I'm joking.
I'm not serious, I'm not serious.
But no, seriously, if you or someone, you know,
is struggling with addiction, don't go through it alone.
There are tons of resources here to help you.
(11:47):
You can call 800-662-4357 or text your zip code
to 435-748.
Now, how convenient is that?
I mean, you know, you can text your zip code
to get resources.
You may also visit samhsa.gov.
That's S-A-M-H-S-A.gov.
And I'm just, there are times like this
(12:08):
where I'm just like even more grateful
that I have this platform because in our community,
we be withholding praise and knowledge and resources.
So thank, you know, just, I'm just grateful
to both of you for your contributions.
So Joey, Khai, we got our first Ask the Guys letter.
So listen, for those of you who are just tuning in,
last time on our Men's Discussion Panel,
(12:29):
we started a segment called Ask the Guys.
And this question comes from Anonymous.
Anonymous is 27 and he asks the guys,
how do I tell my girl about my student loan debt?
I mean, I think this comes back down to any conversation.
If you're serious enough,
finances have to come into play, right?
(12:51):
If I pay for this, date night, all that.
But I think when you're trying to grow,
we gotta uncover some of those weeds.
And I think student loan debt is understood, right?
There's people who are saddled with it
for the rest of their life.
It's something that,
unless it's truly something that can impact you, right?
Where, hey, I can't contribute to us because it's going,
most of my money's going to these loan payments.
(13:12):
You know, that's one thing,
but honestly, it's something that needs to be done
because now I rather know how do we attack this together?
Because if you're my partner,
How are you supporting me in my financial journey too?
Is it advising, is it, you know, your tips and tricks?
Maybe they got out of it, maybe they can help you.
But you may be not truly alone in that.
But at the same time, I rather know now versus at some point
(13:32):
when we truly become a we,
and we're actually legally we, that's now my debt too.
And so I need to know upfront what I'm inheriting
and that's what I was conversations.
And I can't be mad about what you did to get education.
Like, cause then we all know the whole way it's this,
it's how most people have to do it, right?
It's not unheard of, people have debt.
(13:53):
And what you can really hope for is,
Biden cancels it before you actually have to tell them
but we know how the Supreme Court's saying now already,
so it's not happening.
But honestly, I think it's one of the things
that's understood because I can't fault you
for doing better for yourself educationally
that costs money.
Cause it was free, we have more people with us
in a better position without the student debt,
(14:14):
but it has to be told.
Finances have to be discussed
if you're gonna go to a step deeper relationship
because I don't wanna watch your pockets.
I don't know, wonder where it's coming from
or where it's going because I see you
every time we hang out, what's happening?
Where'd your money go to?
If you're saying, oh, I'm taking care of family,
what if they be like, yo, they never really got me.
So honestly, just talk it out.
(14:34):
And I think if this is the break in your relationship,
yall not ready for a lot of other deeper conversations.
How about that?
Joey, you've been with the beautiful Britney
for five, going on six years now.
Help our good brother Anonymous out.
So that question is a very loaded question
(14:56):
because there's more to it than just let me tell my girl
about my student loan debt.
So first is, are you hiding it?
Is it current?
Is it, there's way more than is like,
do I tell my girl about it?
If your student loan debt is current,
you wouldn't really, it wouldn't be a problem.
I don't even think you might need to tell her
because it's one of your responsibilities.
(15:17):
It's like my phone bill.
I wouldn't, I don't need to tell my girlfriend
like every time I pay my phone bill.
But now my phone is off or something like that.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, now my phone bill might come into play.
Like why is your phone off?
Oh, well, I'm having trouble maybe paying my phone bill.
Maybe the, I don't need to be at this service
because like with finances, it gets very tricky
because like my student loan situation is that
(15:39):
I've taken out a ton of student loan
and now I'm feeling the residual effects
of high interest rates and different things like that.
Maybe it was something manageable before.
Maybe it might not be manageable now as things are changing.
Maybe he might just need a simple refinance
that his girl might be able to give him some advice on.
I get advice from other people, my girl included.
(15:59):
Like, I don't think you should be paying this
or this interest rate is too high or anything like that.
So let's figure out a better solution
for these types of situations.
So should I tell my girl about your student loan debt?
Of course you should.
But what capacity is that student loan debt?
And then also where are you guys at in your relationship?
If you guys are two weeks, like Khai was saying,
if you're two weeks into it,
(16:21):
that's a little bit forward thinking right there.
Like you don't need to tell them everything.
Like, yeah, if you guys are in a serious
committed relationship, you guys are trying to
merge everything, get joint bank accounts,
getting like living together.
You guys have to split the rent and the bills
and the this and the that.
Then student loan finances will come into play.
Like, all right, well, I know that 300 or 500
(16:42):
of this amount goes out for that.
So that means that we have this available
with disposable income or whatever to make it work.
So long story short, I would say that you guys
do have to talk about it, but also for me to really
answer that question or give you a more direct answer,
I would need to get some more general knowledge
of what's going on with Anonymous.
(17:04):
So Anonymous, I'm gonna give it to you straight my G.
Tell her exactly what's going on.
Straight talk makes for straight understanding.
Sit her down, tell her how much debt you have
and what your game plan is.
And see, this is why we all gotta vote.
But you shouldn't have an issue telling her
because if you're writing into Ask the Guys,
(17:26):
then you two are definitely in a serious relationship.
Like you care a lot about her to ask us for advice.
I mean, it depends on how much you have
because 20,000 and 200,000 hit differently,
especially when you're trying to buy a home,
do things like that, but also you may qualify for relief
or even forgiveness.
(17:46):
And you can find that out if you go to studentaid.gov
and you'll get more information on that.
So thanks for writing in.
So this next one is also from Anonymous.
This is a girl.
She's 25 and she's from The Bronx.
Shout out to the X.
Anonymous asks the guys,
how can I convince my man to up his self-care regiment?
(18:10):
Now listen, just a second, Anonymous.
Hold up, hold up.
I have to correct you on this
because a lot of people do this.
It's regimen, not regiment.
Like regiment is the troops, you know, in the army.
Shout out to our troops.
And regimen is like, you know, brushing your teeth,
combing your hair, anything.
Anonymous says she likes getting massages and facials
(18:31):
as well as pedicures and she wants him to come with her.
He's game, but the issue is all of the masseurs are male.
And she says he feels uncomfortable
having some big muscular guy rub him down
while he's half naked.
Okay, okay, Khai, go.
No, I mean, I think literally I try to be the softest man
(18:52):
literally and figuratively in any way I can, right?
Because no one wants to just be on someone who’s hard, right?
It's one thing to try, but sometimes you're like that in there
But think about how you want to be manifested outwardly.
And I think it's one of the things of, you know,
being especially Black, you're told,
just basically just don't be ashy, right?
And whatever that means, so it's lotion.
But realize people with lotion
may not be the best for you.
Clog your pores, you're not using the right thing.
(19:14):
You should be a body oil person.
There's different things.
So there's levels to it, right?
And I think she wants to go to the full gamut
because a massage is a treat,
but I don't know if it's truly a part of a regimen
to do all the time.
It's the, hey, let's get a couple of massages,
kind of cue, whatever.
But I think she needs to start baseline,
what is it exactly?
Is it his feet?
(19:34):
Let's start there.
Is it actually, he needs to start wearing cologne.
Maybe he'll feel more confident or, hey, babe,
you know, when you get out the shower,
if you don't want your skin drying out, try this.
This is what I use.
Or try my product and see how you feel about it
and how it works for you.
That's why I got some of the best hair conditioner
out there because I was staying with a homegirl,
went to use, I forgot my stuff, used her stuff in the shower.
I'm like, yo, the curls are popping today.
(19:56):
All right, bet.
Let me start using this.
All right, all right, got some things
that I never heard before, we on it.
But I think there's baby steps because for a lot of that,
it's deep rooted in some time in how men feel
or see their masculinity.
Because you can see now recently with men
painting their fingernails for the fun of it, right?
There was a Duke basketball player who just got
a million dollar contract with Sally Hansen
(20:18):
and talk about that.
And the comments were just like,
what's happened to the emasculation of men?
Can't believe he's doing this.
He's like, I do it so I don't bite my nails.
And I didn't know it doesn't harm you or harm me.
But there's steps to it, right?
Also the comfortability about it of,
this is maybe someone who isn't used to touch
because if you regularly embrace a male friend,
(20:39):
Deeply, you play sports, a few little slaps, whatever,
you're used to it.
I think it's really more so first,
bringing them up to levels
and then mentally talking through why it's uncomfortable
because clearly there are people who get massaged by men
and don't have any, and go about their day.
So there's some things to unpack.
But I think honestly, start with
what is your most number one annoyance
(21:00):
and work your way up.
I think it was almost jumping into deep end
without any context, right?
And the worst case, we use something called like,
hey, the place we go to, do you have a female masseuse or not?
When did she join?
We can go Tuesday.
How do you bend your own way to make him feel more accepted
in what's going on?
And so I think for Anonymous, it's steps.
(21:20):
I understand what you want to tackle first
because in a way you don't want to be making over your person
unless that's what you're trying to do.
Then I think it's identifying exactly
what are things that you would like to see.
Going on a journey together, right?
Hey, babe, I'm gonna go shopping.
Wanna come in and pick some product?
Hey, how does this feel in your hair?
Or things like that.
There's ways to walk someone through this
because it's been the confidence I get
(21:42):
for just doing my own routine.
But also it's refreshing to take care of myself.
And I don't ever have to worry about someone saying,
I smell, I don't feel something there or whatever.
Those are the worst thing I ever have.
Because now you might realize some of those childhood memories
of being talked about in a sense.
And we've all had people where, this way if you are,
oh, my natural musk.
I'm like, nah, that's actually musk.
(22:03):
There ain't nothing natural about it.
It's just like, you wanna use aluminum for deodorant?
Yes, but you still need to antiperspirant on that.
So I think as I said, where it needs to be handled
is a journey together.
Because I don't know so much,
but I've had my women, homegirls, colleagues
help me through the journey too.
Be like, hey, try this if you don't want to.
(22:24):
So I think it's honestly, there's nothing wrong,
but it's almost, what are his hang-ups, besides the massage?
But maybe the massage was too much too soon.
So as far as the initial question
of just upgrading his cleanliness, basically,
that comes on so many different levels.
Some guys are brought up, guys are rough and tough,
(22:45):
and we smell, we have BO, that's part of being a man.
My granddad used to do it like this.
Of course, a well-groomed man is,
that's something on top of that.
But it depends how, there's definitely levels to it.
Is he not taking a shower at all?
Is he taking a shower once a day?
Is he taking it, is he not brushing his teeth every day?
(23:07):
Those regular, let's say that those regular grounds
of cleanliness are met.
Now she's saying, I get my nails done.
Now that's more pampering.
So is he just dirty, not saying dirty like that,
but is he just unclean or uncleanly as far as just a natural,
from a natural standpoint?
Or is he doing that and then you want him
(23:28):
to just be more pampered?
As far as getting your nails done and things like that,
with that, that is a whole different rabbit hole
about having a man do your nails or something like that.
I have hair, that's like me saying
that I won't let another guy braid my hair,
but there's loctitians that are guys that braid,
(23:48):
basically they're doing your hair.
So also is that the same, maybe because it's nails
and because guys aren't really nail guys.
So maybe that might be foreign type of thing.
He might see getting a massage,
those might be foreign activities that are like,
no, I'm a guy.
Maybe if my girl gave me a back massage,
(24:10):
but it's always just one of these type of things,
not a full sit down situation where I'm getting,
I had to put my bathing suit on,
get in the robe and everything like that
and go through the whole process.
If we were in Jamaica or on vacation.
So as far as that, like you said,
you can also find like there are women
that do all of these things also.
(24:32):
Will that person be able to get his nails done by a woman?
In that theory, it should be yes,
it should be a simple no brainer.
You don't wanna go to the nail shop
that only has men doing your nails.
Okay, so there are plenty of lovely Asian women
that would love to do that guy's nails.
I know that for a fact,
cause I know a lot of Asian women that do that wonderfully.
(24:53):
And Black women, they know women of all,
not just saying it like that,
but there's plenty of women that do nails
or there's plenty of women that massage bodies
or there's plenty of women
that do all these other types of things
that if it's a male to female thing, that's an easy fix.
Now making him more comfortable doing these types of things,
he might just be like, my brother is kind of old school.
He likes, he's a classic man's man
(25:15):
from the way they used to raise him back in the 50s, 60s,
70s, 80s, like if you get a scrape, throw some dirt on it.
That's that type of rough and tough.
So if he's the type like that, then those type of acts,
like he would probably be better off
with a regimen of just being like clean,
lotioned up and then cologne.
And then the other upkeep will just have to be like,
(25:39):
just minimal, not like as pampered or as well groomed
because that might be something that he's not accustomed to.
So here's what I'll say, Anonymous.
First of all, I got to commend you on encouraging your man,
you know, to participate in something like this
because a lot of guys consider self-care something soft
or some other word that I'm not gonna use out of context
(26:01):
on here because this is a safe space.
But like I said earlier,
straight talk makes for straight understanding.
So he's telling you he's uncomfortable
with a male masseuse, masseur, I'm sorry, massaging him.
And honestly, that could be for a number of reasons,
but how about this?
How about this?
Why don't you two go for the facials and the pedicures?
(26:23):
And when you're home alone by yourselves,
give him a massage yourself.
You know, dim the lights, you know, put some slow jams on,
you know, a little lay your head on my pillow,
you know, a little slow jams, you know, maybe light a candle or two,
you know, whip out the oil and you give him a massage.
Now, I mean, me personally, I don't mind a male masseur
(26:44):
as long as he stays above 110th Street, all right?
Now listen, Central Park is cool.
He can go to Jersey City, he can go to Brooklyn,
he can go to Fort Lee or The Bronx.
But anything below 57th Street is just off limits,
like I'm just saying.
But yo, and this is the funny thing, this is the funny thing.
(27:06):
So in the email, because I rewrote this
because the email was like long and crazy
and yall gotta stop sending us long, crazy emails.
Like I just can't.
But she described, it's too much, like it's too much.
So, but wait, she described how like the guys look,
the masseurs look at the place.
(27:26):
And she said the one guy looks like a big dick
alligator with dreds.
I was like, yo, you're nuts.
What you checkin' for, like?
Listen, I'm about to shut, look, look,
Khai, we about to go to the Mexican spot.
I'm shutting the show down.
Like, I can't, I can't.
But okay, so we got another one, we got another one.
(27:46):
So this one is from Fiona.
Fiona is 26.
Doesn’t, I don't see where she's from,
but anyway, she asks the guys, she says,
I have a very serious question for the three of you.
Uh-oh.
Here we go.
Fiona, what you about to come at us with?
Like, wait a minute, okay.
(28:06):
Okay, here we go.
How come every guy I get with watches porn?
I don't wanna be with a man who watches porn.
It's so unhealthy to me.
Ooh, it's, you know, it's loaded, but it's not.
(28:28):
But at the same time, I think it's funny,
we all come in age in different ways, right?
Men and women, definitely depends on where you are.
I think I grew up in a time where I wasn't the first one,
but people around me were talking about seeing this stuff
and showing me these images and things.
So now as far as once it’s introduced to your world
(28:49):
by someone else, it's something that's just there.
Because at the same time, I get to see and interact
with somebody, if I'm 16, I'm not doing this
with another 16-year-old, you know?
I'm interacting, seeing these scenes and vivid imagery,
but I'm not 16, I'm still trying to figure out
how do I finish AP Chem versus try and see
what Mr. Marcus is trying to do tomorrow, you know?
(29:11):
But it's kind of becomes like the lexicon of like,
in certain, the culture where porn exists,
like it's almost, for some, I don't want to speak
In generality, but it's almost, it's coming of age.
It's something that you've been doing for years on end,
and it's like, how do you break a cold turkey habit?
How do you go from, because I'm not always with a partner,
(29:32):
I could be, we're all in droughts, or just,
I'm not seeing anybody, but I doesn't,
that does not mean I'm not, I don't have sexual, you know,
tensions, sexual feelings I need to express myself somehow.
And some people don't have good imaginations by themselves,
they need something visibly in front of them.
So I look at it, sometimes porn is an aide,
because now, to say, I'm not going to be, you know,
taking you from the top row, sit down to, you know,
(29:54):
the bedroom, but at the same time,
I can see how different things, I mean,
I see my own every day, so I look at more so,
it's just images that help someone get to the level
of satisfaction that they want.
Now, if you want him to stop, you have to ask him,
why can't he?
Because it can be something where,
hey, I enjoy what we do, but if I see you once a week,
what am I supposed to do the other five days?
(30:15):
If I don't see you in that sense.
And so it's more so, I think, a question of,
and I think, because I, you know,
I don't hear the opposite of, yes,
there are women that watch porn,
but it's something that's not, sometimes,
it's almost more taboo if women say they watch porn,
than men say they do, and men, it's like,
oh my God, yeah, you got your favorite one,
you haven't heard it, and a woman,
you'd be like, how do you know this artist, right?
(30:36):
How do you hear about so-so?
What you been doing?
And so I think it's culturally for men it’s okay,
and women's like that, and she grew up that,
because why, at the same time,
would you rather him just watch porn
than be out here in the streets
doing something with someone else, potentially?
And so, honestly, I think it's asking,
why is this being viewed at this age,
but at the same time,
(30:56):
it's something that's ingrained in our society.
I mean, look at the proliferation of OnlyFans.
People that need income, it's technically,
pornographic images, I'm seeing a video
that helps somebody now, someone's getting money,
transaction, and it's helping with that,
but honestly, I see no harm, no foul,
unless it's something where I'm now trying to expect
(31:16):
what we see on film with you,
if that's not the case, and so that's sometimes
where I think the delineation,
where you have a lot of younger generations,
that's all they're doing, so they actually are expecting
that in that real life situation,
versus those that use that as an aid.
So I think it is an aid, or is it my main source
And youre here.
So the delineation, the distinction between them,
(31:37):
at the same time, that man's still your man,
he's still, yall still do whatever,
so the thing is, if this is the break,
let's really question about why,
if this is such a main issue, just because you don't do it,
you have partners, people have my partner smokes,
and I don't, you know, what's going on with that?
So I think it's, honestly, but if it's healthy,
(31:57):
unless there's concerning types of things he's watching,
that's what we're gonna watch out.
Cause we all know there's always a dark web.
Khai we're not gonna go there with you today.
We're not going down the dark web for, like, this is...
PG-13, yeah.
We'll keep PG-13, no, I mean not 13, we'll keep it.
Yeah, we're gonna do that too.
We're gonna do that too, cause it's 2024,
(32:18):
I'm turning over a new leaf.
You want the links?
Go ahead, Joey.
Go ahead, Joey.
Go ahead, Joey.
Yeah, that is, these are some very, very insightful questions.
Cause with porn, it is, it is a, it's like,
it's something that is, like, you can say it's not healthy
just because, like, you'll start to get
(32:39):
an unrealistic perception of women,
and not all women are, like, of course,
porn is gonna give you the best of the best.
Like, all the guys have big dings,
all the women are beautiful.
Sometimes.
Yeah, sometimes you'll get the best of the best.
Yeah, like, for the most part, like, of course,
there's every fetish and every type of rabbit hole.
But also, it is, for a guy, it is almost like you were saying,
(33:02):
a badge of honor, that is something that you do,
like, guys, like, a guy thing to do
is to go to the strip club.
Like, would you not want your guy to go to the strip club?
Like, no, cause he's throwing money at women,
and that's degrading to them, like, okay,
but in society, you're seen as a masculine guy
if you go to the strip club.
You're seen as a masculine guy, or more masculine,
(33:23):
like, that's like a sign of masculinity, kinda,
like, it's kind of a taboo one, like,
you don't admit to it, but, like, if you're like, oh,
like, you know, like, no guys are gonna be like,
oh, yeah, I watch porn, but if it's something that, like,
I'm talking to a girl about, like, yeah, like,
you know what, I double and dabble with it a little bit,
and you tell whatever your preference is,
but it's not something that you broadcast,
(33:43):
it's not something you wear on your shoulder,
like, yeah, I watch mad porn, like, no,
but why is she, like, it's also, like, is it a problem?
Is he watching too much porn?
Is he not giving her enough love?
And you know what I mean?
That could be the problem.
He's looking at too much porn,
and he's not giving her that same type of attention.
Maybe he's thinking that she's not as pretty as the girls
(34:03):
that he sees on a daily basis, which is a lot, like,
men can be very visceral.
Why don't, why is your body a little bit,
like, like, the last time the guy's like,
your coochie ugly, what coochies are you looking at?
You looking at, oh, yeah, every porn star coochie
might be like that just because of the nature
of the business that they're getting themselves into.
So when you start having those type of unrealistic,
(34:24):
like, personas of what women
or what regular people are supposed to be,
like, not everybody has a six pack,
not everybody has muscles,
not everybody has these things that you're seeing.
So I don't, I don't think it is, like, I'm a guy that,
like, in all honesty, like,
Have I watched porn, of course?
Am I an active participant
in doing that type of activity?
(34:45):
Like, sometimes, let's say, right?
But at the end of the day, like, can I turn it off?
Yes.
And if my girl is telling me, like,
she probably doesn't want me doing it as often
or things like that, I should be okay with that.
But also, I do have needs and I hope that if I,
like, it's like advice, it's like smoking or any,
or drinking or anything else.
(35:05):
If I gotta put this down,
I'm gonna probably need something to supplement my time
when I normally used to do that at night.
Maybe I just need a cold tea or something like that
to help me get through.
Whatever that is.
Yeah, whatever that is to help me get through. Or some lemonade.
Cause like, anything,
you can stop anything that you wanna do.
And now if it's more than that, like, no,
he has a porn addiction, like, he's fondling himself
(35:28):
during work hours where he needs to be working.
Now he's cutting into his money.
Like, now that's when,
that's like when porn becomes an addiction,
like porn addiction, like they're talking about.
Like, it's outside of just fun and games.
Like, he's just doing it
when he's alone on a Saturday night.
No, he's doing that at 4:30 on a Wednesday
when he has a meeting in 10 minutes.
Like, okay, now we're getting past that.
(35:48):
Yeah, we're getting past where it's acceptable.
But from a regular standpoint,
you probably should limit it
just so that you don't start to create.
It's also like social media.
Like, would you tell somebody that they're weird
for being on social media?
No, if somebody is like, I don't use social media,
would you be like, that's weird too?
Like, you might think that's more weird in this day and age
(36:09):
than watching porn.
Like, how are you not on social media type of thing?
So everything comes with the good and the bad.
And yes, porn can be bad
because the industry and all of the, like,
the ideology behind that can be bad,
but also it does serve a purpose.
And it's to entice people to do sexual acts, basically.
(36:33):
And that's how people like, back in the day,
this is my final thought, back in the day,
my parents and my friend's parents,
they used to have the VHS tapes
that they kept under the bed
that they don't bring out every once in a while.
They only brought it out every once in a while.
Back in the day, I still got them now.
Yeah, under the VHS, yeah.
And then that was the reason,
the rationale that they used to tell the kids back then
or what they told us is that they didn't know
(36:55):
because they got married or they were doing this so young
that they didn't know how to do these things.
So that was a video on how to do those things.
And that might've been true.
It might've been a lie.
I don't know.
I just know that it can be an instrument
to show you how to do things.
You know, that was actually on Sex Before the Internet.
It came on VICE and Joanna Briley was on that.
(37:18):
Shout out to her.
But it that on Sex Before the Internet.
There was this, I forgot,
I think it was called The Joy of Sex or something.
It was like a video collection.
I think it's also like nowadays, we are so desensitized.
Can everyone try, you know,
people back in the day, you had that back button, right?
Cinemax, then cartoons.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't get caught.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Taxicab Confessions.
I'm gonna watch Nelly's Tip Drill video for the first time.
(37:42):
And I'm like, what?
But now it's almost like you go on social media now,
you see that just scrolling.
Like in a way we have to be desensitized
where I can catch a titty on the ‘gram.
Just like watch on the ground.
Now I'm purposeful.
So the fact that, you know,
the man is doing what he's doing that,
cause would you rather him, you know,
and it's anybody like obsessing over a person
(38:04):
they see on social media
or just having this free form entertainment?
Cause it is in art at times too.
But also it's been desensitized where it's kind of like,
you should be happy I'm doing this versus
you find I'm liking this one model's 10,000 posts
every single day, hoping to catch something.
So I rather, you know, hey, it's the control form
versus actually have access to DM like,
(38:26):
hey, what's good?
It's everywhere though.
Like you said, it's everywhere.
It's like, and that's the thing with Instagram.
Like I don't even go on there if I can help myself.
But it's like, just as soon as you go on,
it's almost as if Instagram is listening to like
whatever's going on in your house or your neighborhood.
(38:47):
Anyway, Fiona, Fiona, Fiona,
Fiona, the cinnamon Apple of my eye.
You need to grow up.
Period.
Men watch porn.
But now what I will say is, like Joey mentioned,
if his porn consumption is excessive,
then that may be a red flag.
(39:08):
He may not be the guy for you.
However, your tone Fiona, it's just like,
it's very immature.
And I'm just gonna say this.
You really don't seem like experienced with men
or even like really interested in men.
And listen, that's fine if you're not interested in men.
Live in your truth, walk in the light and the right the way.
But something bothered me too about your letter.
(39:30):
And as the, and Khai, she purposely misspelled porn.
She spelled it P-R-O-N. Pron?
And I'm like, are you one of those people who write sex
with the X first and the S last?
Like, it's just weird.
It's weird.
And listen, sex is nothing to be ashamed of,
but it's like you've made it something dirty and disgusting.
(39:51):
So I hope that you find someone who can help you work
through whatever this issue is that you're going through.
Because men liking pornography doesn't seem
like it's the issue.
I think I was fortunate where we had sex education.
So even I was watching whatever secretly,
but I still had someone tell me this and that.
In a lot of schools, wherever they're from,
they're missing that part, right?
So you are finding things out the wrong way.
(40:12):
So what if you always thought that this is an act
versus this is something of pleasure?
So you got to act this way, you can do my voice,
you're a member of the act this way,
you should do this, blah, blah,
versus us actually seeing it as pleasurable.
It's almost like you got to eat three meals a day,
you gotta have sex one way for once a week.
It's almost like becomes task versus the fact of enjoying it,
(40:33):
the fact that you had to write it a certain way.
It's like, what?
Some people will look at it as almost like smoking.
That is like, it's an act that degrades your mind.
You know what I mean?
I would prefer a guy that doesn't smoke
because I don't want him polluting his body.
Maybe she's looking at porn as polluting his mind.
I'd rather not have somebody who is polluting his mind
(40:54):
all the time with all this porn
when he has a beautiful girl right in front of him
and he's still spanking his monkey all crazy.
So I can see, that's where I'm gonna disagree a little bit
with you Cris, I'm gonna give you
a little pushback right there.
Maybe it's not because she's 26.
I want this, I want this.
I know, that's the point.
Give me the smoke.
Yeah, yeah, I'm in the-
Give me the smoke!
That's what I'm saying.
Maybe it's not like that because I've had girls tell me,
(41:16):
yeah, you probably don't need to be watching
as much porn as you do and things like that.
First of all, you can't tell me what I need to be doing
because you know what I mean?
I should be wanting to not do that
because you're showing me,
you're supposed to show me the error of my ways
and then I'd be like, you know what, you're right.
And then you just force me like, no,
either you're gonna stop watching porn
or you don't wanna be with me.
I might not wanna be with you
(41:37):
because there's other people
that don't have those requirements of me
and I might be able to go, you know what I mean?
I might be able to do that
and still have a healthy relationship.
So I look at it as more as maybe like,
I don't want him to, maybe it might be the amount
or maybe it might be the type
or maybe I just don't want him doing it at all.
It can be kind of controlling
as long as it's not in a very like malicious nature.
(41:59):
It might be that like, like I said, it's smoking.
I don't want him to pollute his mind with too much porn.
But if it's something like that,
then you should be easy.
That should be the easiest conversation.
Hey, I think this is more of a hindrance to your mental
than something that is going to help and uplift you.
So I would prefer that you don't do this.
If you do do that, then it shows me that
(42:22):
where your level of care about certain things are.
And if she's very serious about it,
you should show how serious you are
and that means a lot to you.
So his level of care should be a little bit more
of the strength of that.
Yo Fiona was charged, man.
And I see it, she's from South Carolina, by the way,
but she wrote the whole letter in caps.
And I'm like, she's like talking at us.
(42:44):
And I told you guys about doing that.
Please don't talk at us.
But I'm like, Yo Fiona might need to go join Anonymous
instead of Anonymous boyfriend.
You know, at the massage please.
I mean, she might need to go get rubbed down
by the dredloc dude with the Pringles can,
I'm just saying.
Anyway, in all seriousness,
in all seriousness, I gotta pull it together.
(43:06):
This next letter comes from Keesha and Keesha's 26.
She's from Crown Heights, Brooklyn.
She's your neighbor, Khai.
She ride around with that Nina?
No, I’m sorry, I’m joking.
All right, so.
So Keesha, Keesha, yall are crazy.
Keesha asks the guys,
I'm considering getting some cosmetic surgery
(43:27):
because I'm very insecure about my nose.
I heard you advice last season about the BBL
and I thought it was excellent.
But my nose got me teased by my brothers
and they still do it when we get together
at holidays and family gatherings.
I just think it will improve my aesthetic
and open me up to more opportunities.
I think I want a nose job.
(43:48):
Please don't drag me, guys.
She writes, please don't drag me.
Joey, I'm gonna let you answer this first
because you're looking ready.
But just a second, before you answer.
Khai, I need you a little bit longer, Khai.
Can you tell whoever that is to,
that you’re doing The Cris David Show? I got you.
Listen, I'll give them tickets or something.
All right, cool.
So this is a tough dilemma.
(44:10):
It's a dilemma.
So one, people, especially your face,
your face is your moneymaker, right?
If you have any slight type of different pigmentation
or different type of things,
especially on something that's highly visible,
like your face, it can definitely make you feel
not only self-conscious, but also it can actually,
(44:30):
the world is a very cruel place.
And I hate to say it like that
because I wanna think that the world
is rainbows and butterflies.
But a lot of people will look at your face
and if it's not aesthetically pleasing to them,
yo, you're ugly, I'm sorry, you're ugly.
You might have the, that girl might have the most beautiful
heart in the world, but everybody thinks she has a big nose
and they're gonna be like, yeah, she's a really nice girl
(44:52):
with a big nose.
And that's so terrible, but that's the reality.
So I don't really believe in the BBLs and things like that
because I feel like your body,
like your face is something that like, yes.
Like if you have a cute face,
you can have whatever type of body that you want.
So that one I'm like, if I'm teetering,
I'll, that'll be one that I'll let you have that one.
(45:16):
If you wanna get a nose job, I think that,
and that's also less invasive
than if you were to get a full BBL and things like that.
They just kind of chip your nose a little bit
and they just give you a little bit like,
facial, like full blown plastic surgery,
you're doing Botox and then now you're looking like
Kim Kardashian type of thing.
Now I think that's a little excessive.
Like regular, like a little bit of rhinoplasty
(45:39):
or whatever you call that.
I'll say that is acceptable.
A little bit of a nose job, yes.
You're getting a full blown face reconstruction,
I would say no,
cause I don't think it was ever that deep.
And also you're changing your uniqueness
that some of those things like,
not anybody wants the big nose.
Nobody wants the big nose.
Nobody wants anything that is,
anything that's weird or anything
(46:00):
that they'll get made fun of.
And also you gotta remember that,
is it only your brother's making in front of you
or is that something that has been like,
throughout the years, like not only my brother,
but my ex-boyfriend or whoever.
If that's been a sore, like a thing that's been ongoing,
then yeah, that might be something that is an avenue
that you could go down.
(46:21):
I know my family can be cruel
and they might be the cruelest people that she's encountered.
You know what I mean?
Just because they know her well enough
to talk about her nose like that.
So it really, I would also like,
I'm a judge, show me the picture.
I gotta see the Carfax.
Show me the Carfax and I'll let you know
if you need one or not.
So I think if it like that, show me what you look like
and I'll tell you if you need it or not.
(46:42):
From my standpoint, I got a good judge of character.
I think I'm pretty good at what's ugly and what's cute.
So I think that's what we need to do.
I say a nose job, yes,
but if it's full blown facial reconstruction, no.
And a BBL, no either, because like I said,
a lot more complications,
a lot more problems than solutions with that.
I think what's interesting behind this,
like just growing up in like an ethnic family in general,
(47:04):
you get called out for doing,
especially in our community,
you get called out for doing the most positive things.
Mundane, yeah, you get called,
they making fun for you for having an umbrella
on a rainy day, like yo, what the hell?
Oh, look at you prepared ass, lookin ass.
He's so prepared over here.
Yeah, right.
And so I've been growing up with that,
but it's like a couple of things.
One, we brothers, is your nose similar or not?
(47:25):
Like there's similar genetics, right?
Yeah, right, her nose is like, yeah, for sure.
It's the fact of a nose job,
and actually you're seeing a rise of this
because people are really,
the Black nose or the ethnic nose, they don't want that.
And it's interesting how my nose,
like you said, the eye of the beholder,
is my nose really holding me back from life
or just socially how I feel?
(47:46):
Like every time I get up and I look at the mirror,
it's like, damn, I got good teeth, everything,
but that nose is one thing that's sticking out to me.
So I think it goes back to like mental health
and body dysmorphia, how we're really seeing one another,
how we view each other, right?
You say, who's bigger, the fact of,
family's family, right?
Your family's gonna be harsh on you.
You go home, oh, you gained a little weight, whatever,
but the fact of how else, when she goes through her day,
is she being judged on her nose
(48:06):
or she’s just internalized this whole thing,
like my nose is what's making my life terrible.
And the thing about that where she can go get the surgery,
but one thing we forget, like you can't change genetics.
So she has kids down the line,
mommy, why you don't look like this?
Like, why does my nose not look like your nose now?
And so now if your daughter has your genetics and genes,
what are you gonna do when she's 26?
(48:27):
Hey, babe, it's time to get your annual,
like the family nose job.
So that's the only thing, it's almost like,
that's just for me, but it's impact is down the road,
because now, I might, if I don't want my daughter,
or son to be like, hey, you should feel good about yourself,
but you didn't, because you didn't.
So now it's even opened up that old thing of,
now this is a thing I'm setting in motion.
(48:47):
But honestly, like you said, I think it's,
if you're gonna do it, go to a surgeon you trust,
because even though it's not as bad as, not bad,
but like, BBL's did it back when someone's based in Miami,
you still wanna go to a board certified person, right?
You still wanna make sure, like,
you don't wanna use your tax income of 5K,
if it costs eight grand, pay the eight grand,
because you have that care and concern,
because imagine doing this,
(49:08):
and I think somebody don't look at it the bad side,
we see it a few times, you see on social media,
you got a botched job,
and now you're paying more money to keep going.
So it's almost like-
That's the scariest part, don't have somebody,
like you could have had a, let's say that your face
was decent, and then they now made it less decent
than what it was originally, and that's also,
that's also part of the coin,
our understanding of doing these type of things,
(49:30):
because like everything does a hierarchy,
getting your boobs done is not as bad as getting a BBL,
getting your nose done is not as bad as doing your boobs,
getting your teeth done is not as bad as getting your,
like, you know what I mean?
Like, oh, there's like tier levels to these type of things,
so getting your teeth done is acceptable,
but not getting your nose done,
like, I don't look at it like that.
It just is, like you said, be safe about it,
(49:51):
be responsible about it,
and then also like, you know how you feel,
like, if it really is something how you feel,
and it really hurts you, like pride,
and it hurts your spirit, get it,
because there's nothing that we can tell you,
like, you're probably gonna get it,
whether I told you to get it or not,
you know what I mean?
So if it's one of those type of things,
do what's gonna make you live
the happiest life that you can,
and that nose is really,
(50:12):
just from your own psychological standpoint,
is holding you back, then get the nose job,
be safe about it,
and I hope that you're not doing things needlessly,
like, I have, I think I have decent teeth,
like, they're not the best, I got a chip on one of them,
but I'm not gonna knock all of these out for veneers,
and put myself financially at a disadvantage,
and whatchamacallit,
because these are functioning teeth,
(50:32):
and they're not that bad, like,
yeah, just get a new, get your chip fixed,
and other than that, call it a day.
And then like, on top of that, like,
your point too, Joey,
is like, I think some people forget, like,
there's, this is, there's maintenance to anything, right?
Plus, it'll be either forever,
if I get my nose done,
then you get touched up in 10 years,
and I get, you know, you get Botox,
like, a lot of this stuff you see,
like, people don't tell you behind the scenes,
(50:53):
but it's not meant to be forever, it's a fix,
so now in 10, 15 years,
this is an investment you're making for the rest of your life,
because what if something happens,
you don't like your nose later,
or it gets broken again,
like, so much that could happen that,
doing this right now, is it, can I breathe right?
Is it good? Does it function?
Do I still get forehead kisses from somebody?
Like,
that's not bad.
(51:14):
That's not bad.
Keesha, listen, we would never drag you, like,
this is a safe space for all of our guests and our audience,
but you know who we will drag?
Your brothers.
Yeah.
Yeah, we'll drag your brothers.
Listen, your brothers sound like jackasses, honestly.
(51:35):
Like, ignore them.
Don't go throwing off your facial proportions.
Unless it's fun and games,
if it's fun and game banter, then that should be like-
But, Joey, it's not fun and games if she asking us.
It's bothering her.
It's bothering her.
And I don't do this,
because, I mean, I like people to have, like,
(51:55):
some type of anonymity,
even though she gave us her name
and everything she said where she's from.
Keesha is very, very, very pretty.
Like, yo, man, Keesha looks like-
That's what I'm saying.
Let me see the picture.
Oh nah.
My girl won't like that.
My girl won't like that.
Yo.
I mean, I got a bacon, egg, and cheese with her name on it.
So, listen, Keesha looks like Ananda Lewis,
(52:18):
or like, Chili from TLC.
You guys know who Ananda Lewis is.
She's like, yo, she's like number one stunner.
Anyway, let me stop.
Cris, focus, focus, focus.
But listen, nose jobs are one of those things
where you could be very lucky and have a very good outcome,
or you could be very unlucky and end up on Botched,
(52:39):
especially as a Black person,
because your nose is in the center of your face.
It is the first thing people see when they look at you.
And just in my opinion, Keesha,
do not mess with your nose.
And Keesha's question was originally for our Sex Coach,
but I hit her up and I asked Keesha, I said,
is this okay if we answer it?
(52:59):
Because we're advice also.
And she said, cool.
So Keesha, thank you for letting us do this.
I hope we helped.
I hope we helped you.
Folks have been asking about Casey.
Casey was the girl if you watched the Sex Coach episode.
She had the BBL.
Well, she wanted to know,
she wanted advice on getting a BBL.
(53:19):
I'll have an update for her on that next episode.
But this is, okay, so we got another one.
This one comes from a guy, his name is Jae.
Jay with an E.
Jay with an E is 24, he's from Georgia.
And Jae asks the guys, I'm 24,
and I've been skinny all my life.
I got picked on about it.
And now that I'm grown, I'm still insecure about my weight.
(53:42):
I wanna gain weight because I'm tired of being skinny.
It's one of those things that like,
bombardment of issues,
I mean, bombardment of images you're seeing that like,
my natural being who I am is somehow wrong.
And it's not necessarily, somehow it's wrong for society,
so it's wrong for me versus being individual.
(54:04):
And it's funny, cause being an opposite,
I've always been a bigger guy my entire life.
And I had to deal with that aspect of it,
but it really does come from the fact of...
Khai, before you finish,
I have a quick thing that I found out about you.
What's this I hear that you used to have a tail in the back?
(54:24):
What's this I hear?
You had one too, Joe.
That was a 90s thing, I had one too, everybody had one.
Yeah, I, yeah.
With a high top fade,
high top fade with a rat tail in the back.
Everybody had one.
High top fade, I didn't have a tail.
I had the fade though.
I cut mine off the day before high school.
I had mine from like pre-K to all the way to high school.
Mom used to make me add a little weave
and make it a lay for a little bit.
(54:45):
That's what I heard.
Now, this is what I heard. No weave.
This is what I heard. I had mine naturally.
Khai, Khai, I gotta see a photo.
You gotta send me a picture.
I think my mom has it somewhere.
Even like the haircut piece, it's somewhere.
Listen, I gotta see this.
It's what I forget about that.
This is peak 80s babies right now.
Like this is peak 80s babies.
(55:06):
We all had one though.
That was the thing though.
That was ‘95, ‘96, ‘95, ‘96, ‘99.
For the ‘99, 2000.
I cut mine off the day before high school.
I'm like, oh, I gotta grow up.
Now I had to give mine up the barber cut it.
He gave me the skin fade
and then he got a little too close to it
and cut it off like that.
Oh man, no.
Yeah, you might as well take the whole thing with it.
(55:28):
He did you like Coming to America.
Yeah, yeah he did.
Oh yeah.
He said that’ll be $20.
Oh man, that's hilarious.
Wow, bringing up all the memories.
Okay, but Khai, go ahead, go ahead.
I had to, I had to.
I got ops in my house.
Nah.
No, no.
No.
I find that the images of like
(55:49):
Body dysmorphia being skinny,
it's one of those things of,
I think sometimes people forget like genetics are genetics.
Like if you can't, like you can try
but if it's not working, high metabolism.
But you know, also wait till you get that late 20s.
That's gonna change like, no other.
That's why I say women who hit that late 20s Rihanna
weight gain, fantastic.
They're a little more in the hips than they,
(56:10):
but men too, you change your body up.
It happens.
I say, you know, enjoy the ride while you can now.
You can now, you know, enjoy it.
But I think honestly, it's like any of this, right?
What are you looking to gain, right?
A better sense of self-confidence, cool.
But if it's like what, beyond that,
I might feel better myself.
I can start going on walks.
(56:31):
I can take breaks.
I can do other things to help with myself feel better.
But the actual body, if it's hindering the way I operate,
breathe, medical issues, you know, leave it alone.
But again, if this is something that's gonna make you feel
better every day you wake up, do what you can to do that.
But honestly, if you're skinny, you're skinny.
You are your size, you are your size.
But who you are today is not who you’re gonna be in a couple of years.
(56:53):
Cause you always look at photos of your grandparents,
your dads and people.
You're like, yo, you know, I remember looking at my mom
and my mom used to be like, my mom was like,
prom queen, looking good.
Three kids later, she still looks good,
but she ain't the same as she was in her early 20s.
Nah, they're not the same.
And so enjoy it while you can, but at the same time,
like there's way to fix it, right?
(57:13):
There's gym routines, like, you know, natural ways.
Start bulking if you want to work with people, you know,
bulk of winter, slip down to the spring,
figure out what works for your body.
But honestly, every crew needs a one skinny guy.
Every crew needs a one skinny guy.
And so-
Listen, we got a ours right here, okay?
We got our skinny guy right here.
Nope, nope, nope, I don't want to hear it.
(00:10):
Nope, I don't because you had plenty of time.
Yall had plenty of time.
Nope, nope, save it, save it.
But you know what?
We're going to help you last minute spirits out.
Me and Joey, and me and Khai, all three of us
are going to help you get registered to vote.
(00:31):
I mean, what’d you think I was talking about?
Anyway, welcome back to The Cris David Show.
I am your host, Cris David, here
to join us for our Spring Edition of The Cris David Show
Guy Talk Men’s Discussion Panel.
Welcome back our guys, Mr. Joey Baston and Mr. Khai Thomas.
(00:57):
Let's clap it up for them and give them
that warm Cris David Show welcome that only we can do.
And hey, Joey, Khai, we back, back.
But thank you both for being here.
Now listen, we got a lot to get to on this episode.
We got some Ask the Guys questions.
Thank you for sending those in.
(01:18):
The news has been crazy lately, so we'll touch on some of that.
We're going to talk about Joey Black's TV Pick.
We’ve got some Khai's Knowledge.
I'm going to drop some science, and we'll catch up
and see what's been happening since we've been gone.
A lot obviously.
Good tings, good tings.
But let's jump right in.
Today is Friday, April 5, 2024.
(01:59):
Our upcoming election is Tuesday, November 5.
That means we have approximately 214 days
until we elect the next president of the United States.
At the time of this broadcast, quite a few states
have already undergone primary elections.
Primaries are important because they narrow down
(02:20):
the many candidates of both parties
to the two who will be running against one another
in the November election.
Now listen to me and listen to me good.
The Cris David Show is not a politically based show.
However, the Cris David Show is a show
that informs and provides our audience with pertinent
(02:41):
information to enrich their lives.
Now, I'm not going to go in like I did last time.
You're welcome.
But voting is an integral part of the fabric of our culture.
And my job is to emphasize how important it is for all of us
to participate in one of our most fundamental practices.
(03:04):
214 days comes at you fast.
So let's all do our big one.
Visit vote.gov.
There you'll find more information
on how you can register to vote, find voter registration
deadlines, check your registration,
change your registration, and more.
Once again, that site is vote.gov.
(03:24):
Vote.gov.
Vote.gov.
Vote.gov.
This is technology, listen what do you want?
It's a civic duty, right?
I think sometimes, no matter how you feel about your position
here in the country, in America, African-American,
no matter what it turns, as a citizen,
it's a right that we have.
And so to be my civic duty, I'm going to vote.
(03:46):
But I think it also goes back to the fact of,
this could be unfelted, but there was a time
where we couldn't vote, right?
And for all those that fought before us,
imagine those seeing today and seeing
like they’re rolling over in their graves
because it's not being utilized.
But I think, honestly, it's a civic duty
to protect the greater good, even if the greater good doesn't
(04:09):
work for me.
I may not be in a certain tax bracket.
I may not get the benefit of that, whatever.
But the people who will benefit from whatever reason we vote,
they still need that.
And so for me to vote against self-interest versus,
do I believe in humanity?
So it really is voting because I have the belief,
you know, whatever, you know, conspiracy theories
and behind the scenes that the government does this and that.
I vote, hopefully, that something will make a change.
(04:31):
You have national and local level.
There's so many different types of voting
and everything like that.
So I vote on every different type of level
just because I want to see the different changes
in the community.
One thing about it is that you don't have to,
if you're really not stuck in one place, usually
if you have the means to go somewhere,
you can go anywhere where you enjoy
(04:52):
the political situation there.
If I don't like it in Pennsylvania here,
I can always go back to New York.
I don't like New York's laws, I can go to Texas.
And all of them, all three of those places
have totally different laws and everything like that.
So if you want to see changes on your local level
or something like that,
that's why you vote at your local level.
If you want to, like there's some of the changes
that we want to see on a national level,
that's something a little bit more intricate
(05:15):
and a little bit more complicated,
but you still vote for something that is going to continue
to make your life where you are better.
That's the whole point of it.
And I mean, some of us have grandparents
or great grandparents or in my case, parents
who were alive during a time when Black folks
were legally allowed to vote,
but we were prevented from doing so.
(05:37):
So I mean, we as this generation,
we just have a right to get out there
and exercise our power at the polls to make a change.
And I'm just blessed to have this platform
where we're able to inform people
and encourage them to do the right thing.
So get out there and get registered to vote.
Like don't play in the future’s face.
That's it.
But anyway, Black Khaina.
(06:01):
What have you been up to?
I heard you ran into one of my doppelgangers actually
out at a NSBE.
Wait, what are your doppelgangers?
Malcolm Jamal Warner.
People say I look like him.
I don't see it, but people say I look like him.
Malcolm & Eddie I know Malcolm.
(06:21):
I did, I did.
Honestly, I think what I've been doing for myself
knowing that it's getting nicer outside,
I actually would try and take care of my peace
because we know when summer hits,
it's going to be wild out here.
So really honestly, just try and get things
a protection routine.
So that way I have that structure back in my life.
So I think the biggest thing,
(06:42):
especially as an adult, catch up on sleep.
Like really setting up a true regimen
in like seven to nine hours of sleep
but the streets be calling.
So it's always tough to figure out
always how do I fit that in.
Always.
One drink and a happy hour turns into,
oh, we here?
(07:05):
But honestly, just try to do the most right.
So that way, because I look at it like,
we're already a quarter done with the year,
three months have gone by in 2024.
And it seems that it's been slowest, fastest point in time.
Next thing you know, we're going to be celebrating
New Year’s and stuff and wonder if it's like,
what am I doing with the last nine months of the year?
And so that's what I'm trying to say.
We got to play around, the trial period's over
(07:27):
and now it's time to get back at it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I feel you, Khai.
Khai, your mom's doing good, right?
Mom's doing well, mom's doing well.
Health is a priority for our family
and her recovery is just a one right now.
So with the help of other family members,
her own self-will determination,
she's where she needs to be.
Awesome.
Shout out to Khai's fam, by the way.
(07:47):
Joey Black, K lo k?
K lo k, loco?
I hear you've been jet setting on the company credit card.
Yeah, we have been.
In the most responsible way.
I want to say that, yeah, I'm not doing the fraudulent funds
because you could get fired for that.
So I'm on the up and up, so I'm a straight narrow.
(08:09):
But yeah, everything's been good.
I'm on my, we're on a little bit of a health journey.
We’ve put down the alcohol for just a little bit,
took a little break, and then we're gonna see
what the guns look like when we're all done after that.
So that's what the whole point of this is.
So feel good, like you said, health is wealth.
Health is the main priority.
So definitely, definitely take care of yourself
(08:32):
because if you don't take care of yourself,
nobody else will.
And it's sad like that,
but it is the hardest truth that I had to feel.
Like my favorite saying is that no one's coming to save you.
So I go on a plane every time and they say,
make sure you put your seat belts on
and make sure you, if the oxygen mask come on,
make sure you do yours before helping somebody else.
So you can't help anybody until you help yourself.
(08:54):
So make sure that you're secure and good,
and then you can be able to help other people
get secure and good also.
Yo, I just gotta say this.
Everyone really enjoyed both of you
on the last panel show we did.
So I got excellent feedback.
I'm happy we were able to get together again.
And thank you both for riding with your boy.
As for me, I've been up to a lot.
(09:16):
As you can see, the locs are gone.
Oh no.
But the beard is still bearding though.
Yeah, the locing beard.
I haven't seen that before.
Well, I took that out,
but you know, it's a little puff going on right now.
The beard is still bearding.
You know, I've been decluttering.
I've been, like all three of us have been on
kind of like the same journey, just like decluttering.
(09:38):
Physically and mentally, you know,
preparing ourselves for the next phase of life, you know.
And that's what I'm doing.
Preparing myself for, you know, where my career is going.
You know, good tings a gwan.
Good things are going on.
Before I forget, we have an official drink for this episode
of the Cris David Show Men's Discussion panel.
(09:59):
All right, Khai's got his,
some where I got mine right here.
But Joey, what's that drink?
What's that drink for today?
So we're going with the hard stuff, guys.
We're going old fashioned lemonade.
Your famous three ingredients, natural water,
that good old Domino sugar,
and the lemons that you get from the local market.
(10:21):
Put the three together, stir it up,
then you have the magic that we call lemonade.
Listen, here we go.
And we got to put Joey on the spot really quick.
Joey, six months sober, right?
Six months?
It's actually eight.
My last drink was July 28th of last year, 2023.
So I started doing a gym regimen
(10:42):
and I was drinking a lot, definitely was drinking a lot.
So at that time, it was just like, what does it look like?
Cause I've seen some other like influencers
and other guys like when they,
if they do something dramatic with their bodies,
they'll stop drinking also and stuff like that.
So I was like, all right, what would my progress look like
if I just stopped drinking?
And originally it was supposed to be for like a couple of
(11:04):
weeks, get back at it.
Then a couple of weeks turned into, all right,
let's see if we can do the three months.
And then after the three months came,
some of my biggest partiers are like,
are we going to do it again or what?
I was like, all right, let's do, I'll come back in six months.
Six months was February and now we're just now in April.
So now we're about eight months.
See?
Listen, Joey, congratulations.
(11:27):
And listen, everybody, out of respect for Joey's journey,
this drink and all future drinks will be non-alcoholic
as well as, Keto-friendly.
I'm kidding, I'm joking.
I'm not serious, I'm not serious.
But no, seriously, if you or someone, you know,
is struggling with addiction, don't go through it alone.
There are tons of resources here to help you.
(11:47):
You can call 800-662-4357 or text your zip code
to 435-748.
Now, how convenient is that?
I mean, you know, you can text your zip code
to get resources.
You may also visit samhsa.gov.
That's S-A-M-H-S-A.gov.
And I'm just, there are times like this
(12:08):
where I'm just like even more grateful
that I have this platform because in our community,
we be withholding praise and knowledge and resources.
So thank, you know, just, I'm just grateful
to both of you for your contributions.
So Joey, Khai, we got our first Ask the Guys letter.
So listen, for those of you who are just tuning in,
last time on our Men's Discussion Panel,
(12:29):
we started a segment called Ask the Guys.
And this question comes from Anonymous.
Anonymous is 27 and he asks the guys,
how do I tell my girl about my student loan debt?
I mean, I think this comes back down to any conversation.
If you're serious enough,
finances have to come into play, right?
(12:51):
If I pay for this, date night, all that.
But I think when you're trying to grow,
we gotta uncover some of those weeds.
And I think student loan debt is understood, right?
There's people who are saddled with it
for the rest of their life.
It's something that,
unless it's truly something that can impact you, right?
Where, hey, I can't contribute to us because it's going,
most of my money's going to these loan payments.
(13:12):
You know, that's one thing,
but honestly, it's something that needs to be done
because now I rather know how do we attack this together?
Because if you're my partner,
How are you supporting me in my financial journey too?
Is it advising, is it, you know, your tips and tricks?
Maybe they got out of it, maybe they can help you.
But you may be not truly alone in that.
But at the same time, I rather know now versus at some point
(13:32):
when we truly become a we,
and we're actually legally we, that's now my debt too.
And so I need to know upfront what I'm inheriting
and that's what I was conversations.
And I can't be mad about what you did to get education.
Like, cause then we all know the whole way it's this,
it's how most people have to do it, right?
It's not unheard of, people have debt.
(13:53):
And what you can really hope for is,
Biden cancels it before you actually have to tell them
but we know how the Supreme Court's saying now already,
so it's not happening.
But honestly, I think it's one of the things
that's understood because I can't fault you
for doing better for yourself educationally
that costs money.
Cause it was free, we have more people with us
in a better position without the student debt,
(14:14):
but it has to be told.
Finances have to be discussed
if you're gonna go to a step deeper relationship
because I don't wanna watch your pockets.
I don't know, wonder where it's coming from
or where it's going because I see you
every time we hang out, what's happening?
Where'd your money go to?
If you're saying, oh, I'm taking care of family,
what if they be like, yo, they never really got me.
So honestly, just talk it out.
(14:34):
And I think if this is the break in your relationship,
yall not ready for a lot of other deeper conversations.
How about that?
Joey, you've been with the beautiful Britney
for five, going on six years now.
Help our good brother Anonymous out.
So that question is a very loaded question
(14:56):
because there's more to it than just let me tell my girl
about my student loan debt.
So first is, are you hiding it?
Is it current?
Is it, there's way more than is like,
do I tell my girl about it?
If your student loan debt is current,
you wouldn't really, it wouldn't be a problem.
I don't even think you might need to tell her
because it's one of your responsibilities.
(15:17):
It's like my phone bill.
I wouldn't, I don't need to tell my girlfriend
like every time I pay my phone bill.
But now my phone is off or something like that.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, now my phone bill might come into play.
Like why is your phone off?
Oh, well, I'm having trouble maybe paying my phone bill.
Maybe the, I don't need to be at this service
because like with finances, it gets very tricky
because like my student loan situation is that
(15:39):
I've taken out a ton of student loan
and now I'm feeling the residual effects
of high interest rates and different things like that.
Maybe it was something manageable before.
Maybe it might not be manageable now as things are changing.
Maybe he might just need a simple refinance
that his girl might be able to give him some advice on.
I get advice from other people, my girl included.
(15:59):
Like, I don't think you should be paying this
or this interest rate is too high or anything like that.
So let's figure out a better solution
for these types of situations.
So should I tell my girl about your student loan debt?
Of course you should.
But what capacity is that student loan debt?
And then also where are you guys at in your relationship?
If you guys are two weeks, like Khai was saying,
if you're two weeks into it,
(16:21):
that's a little bit forward thinking right there.
Like you don't need to tell them everything.
Like, yeah, if you guys are in a serious
committed relationship, you guys are trying to
merge everything, get joint bank accounts,
getting like living together.
You guys have to split the rent and the bills
and the this and the that.
Then student loan finances will come into play.
Like, all right, well, I know that 300 or 500
(16:42):
of this amount goes out for that.
So that means that we have this available
with disposable income or whatever to make it work.
So long story short, I would say that you guys
do have to talk about it, but also for me to really
answer that question or give you a more direct answer,
I would need to get some more general knowledge
of what's going on with Anonymous.
(17:04):
So Anonymous, I'm gonna give it to you straight my G.
Tell her exactly what's going on.
Straight talk makes for straight understanding.
Sit her down, tell her how much debt you have
and what your game plan is.
And see, this is why we all gotta vote.
But you shouldn't have an issue telling her
because if you're writing into Ask the Guys,
(17:26):
then you two are definitely in a serious relationship.
Like you care a lot about her to ask us for advice.
I mean, it depends on how much you have
because 20,000 and 200,000 hit differently,
especially when you're trying to buy a home,
do things like that, but also you may qualify for relief
or even forgiveness.
(17:46):
And you can find that out if you go to studentaid.gov
and you'll get more information on that.
So thanks for writing in.
So this next one is also from Anonymous.
This is a girl.
She's 25 and she's from The Bronx.
Shout out to the X.
Anonymous asks the guys,
how can I convince my man to up his self-care regiment?
(18:10):
Now listen, just a second, Anonymous.
Hold up, hold up.
I have to correct you on this
because a lot of people do this.
It's regimen, not regiment.
Like regiment is the troops, you know, in the army.
Shout out to our troops.
And regimen is like, you know, brushing your teeth,
combing your hair, anything.
Anonymous says she likes getting massages and facials
(18:31):
as well as pedicures and she wants him to come with her.
He's game, but the issue is all of the masseurs are male.
And she says he feels uncomfortable
having some big muscular guy rub him down
while he's half naked.
Okay, okay, Khai, go.
No, I mean, I think literally I try to be the softest man
(18:52):
literally and figuratively in any way I can, right?
Because no one wants to just be on someone who’s hard, right?
It's one thing to try, but sometimes you're like that in there
But think about how you want to be manifested outwardly.
And I think it's one of the things of, you know,
being especially Black, you're told,
just basically just don't be ashy, right?
And whatever that means, so it's lotion.
But realize people with lotion
may not be the best for you.
Clog your pores, you're not using the right thing.
(19:14):
You should be a body oil person.
There's different things.
So there's levels to it, right?
And I think she wants to go to the full gamut
because a massage is a treat,
but I don't know if it's truly a part of a regimen
to do all the time.
It's the, hey, let's get a couple of massages,
kind of cue, whatever.
But I think she needs to start baseline,
what is it exactly?
Is it his feet?
(19:34):
Let's start there.
Is it actually, he needs to start wearing cologne.
Maybe he'll feel more confident or, hey, babe,
you know, when you get out the shower,
if you don't want your skin drying out, try this.
This is what I use.
Or try my product and see how you feel about it
and how it works for you.
That's why I got some of the best hair conditioner
out there because I was staying with a homegirl,
went to use, I forgot my stuff, used her stuff in the shower.
I'm like, yo, the curls are popping today.
(19:56):
All right, bet.
Let me start using this.
All right, all right, got some things
that I never heard before, we on it.
But I think there's baby steps because for a lot of that,
it's deep rooted in some time in how men feel
or see their masculinity.
Because you can see now recently with men
painting their fingernails for the fun of it, right?
There was a Duke basketball player who just got
a million dollar contract with Sally Hansen
(20:18):
and talk about that.
And the comments were just like,
what's happened to the emasculation of men?
Can't believe he's doing this.
He's like, I do it so I don't bite my nails.
And I didn't know it doesn't harm you or harm me.
But there's steps to it, right?
Also the comfortability about it of,
this is maybe someone who isn't used to touch
because if you regularly embrace a male friend,
(20:39):
Deeply, you play sports, a few little slaps, whatever,
you're used to it.
I think it's really more so first,
bringing them up to levels
and then mentally talking through why it's uncomfortable
because clearly there are people who get massaged by men
and don't have any, and go about their day.
So there's some things to unpack.
But I think honestly, start with
what is your most number one annoyance
(21:00):
and work your way up.
I think it was almost jumping into deep end
without any context, right?
And the worst case, we use something called like,
hey, the place we go to, do you have a female masseuse or not?
When did she join?
We can go Tuesday.
How do you bend your own way to make him feel more accepted
in what's going on?
And so I think for Anonymous, it's steps.
(21:20):
I understand what you want to tackle first
because in a way you don't want to be making over your person
unless that's what you're trying to do.
Then I think it's identifying exactly
what are things that you would like to see.
Going on a journey together, right?
Hey, babe, I'm gonna go shopping.
Wanna come in and pick some product?
Hey, how does this feel in your hair?
Or things like that.
There's ways to walk someone through this
because it's been the confidence I get
(21:42):
for just doing my own routine.
But also it's refreshing to take care of myself.
And I don't ever have to worry about someone saying,
I smell, I don't feel something there or whatever.
Those are the worst thing I ever have.
Because now you might realize some of those childhood memories
of being talked about in a sense.
And we've all had people where, this way if you are,
oh, my natural musk.
I'm like, nah, that's actually musk.
(22:03):
There ain't nothing natural about it.
It's just like, you wanna use aluminum for deodorant?
Yes, but you still need to antiperspirant on that.
So I think as I said, where it needs to be handled
is a journey together.
Because I don't know so much,
but I've had my women, homegirls, colleagues
help me through the journey too.
Be like, hey, try this if you don't want to.
(22:24):
So I think it's honestly, there's nothing wrong,
but it's almost, what are his hang-ups, besides the massage?
But maybe the massage was too much too soon.
So as far as the initial question
of just upgrading his cleanliness, basically,
that comes on so many different levels.
Some guys are brought up, guys are rough and tough,
(22:45):
and we smell, we have BO, that's part of being a man.
My granddad used to do it like this.
Of course, a well-groomed man is,
that's something on top of that.
But it depends how, there's definitely levels to it.
Is he not taking a shower at all?
Is he taking a shower once a day?
Is he taking it, is he not brushing his teeth every day?
(23:07):
Those regular, let's say that those regular grounds
of cleanliness are met.
Now she's saying, I get my nails done.
Now that's more pampering.
So is he just dirty, not saying dirty like that,
but is he just unclean or uncleanly as far as just a natural,
from a natural standpoint?
Or is he doing that and then you want him
(23:28):
to just be more pampered?
As far as getting your nails done and things like that,
with that, that is a whole different rabbit hole
about having a man do your nails or something like that.
I have hair, that's like me saying
that I won't let another guy braid my hair,
but there's loctitians that are guys that braid,
(23:48):
basically they're doing your hair.
So also is that the same, maybe because it's nails
and because guys aren't really nail guys.
So maybe that might be foreign type of thing.
He might see getting a massage,
those might be foreign activities that are like,
no, I'm a guy.
Maybe if my girl gave me a back massage,
(24:10):
but it's always just one of these type of things,
not a full sit down situation where I'm getting,
I had to put my bathing suit on,
get in the robe and everything like that
and go through the whole process.
If we were in Jamaica or on vacation.
So as far as that, like you said,
you can also find like there are women
that do all of these things also.
(24:32):
Will that person be able to get his nails done by a woman?
In that theory, it should be yes,
it should be a simple no brainer.
You don't wanna go to the nail shop
that only has men doing your nails.
Okay, so there are plenty of lovely Asian women
that would love to do that guy's nails.
I know that for a fact,
cause I know a lot of Asian women that do that wonderfully.
(24:53):
And Black women, they know women of all,
not just saying it like that,
but there's plenty of women that do nails
or there's plenty of women that massage bodies
or there's plenty of women
that do all these other types of things
that if it's a male to female thing, that's an easy fix.
Now making him more comfortable doing these types of things,
he might just be like, my brother is kind of old school.
He likes, he's a classic man's man
(25:15):
from the way they used to raise him back in the 50s, 60s,
70s, 80s, like if you get a scrape, throw some dirt on it.
That's that type of rough and tough.
So if he's the type like that, then those type of acts,
like he would probably be better off
with a regimen of just being like clean,
lotioned up and then cologne.
And then the other upkeep will just have to be like,
(25:39):
just minimal, not like as pampered or as well groomed
because that might be something that he's not accustomed to.
So here's what I'll say, Anonymous.
First of all, I got to commend you on encouraging your man,
you know, to participate in something like this
because a lot of guys consider self-care something soft
or some other word that I'm not gonna use out of context
(26:01):
on here because this is a safe space.
But like I said earlier,
straight talk makes for straight understanding.
So he's telling you he's uncomfortable
with a male masseuse, masseur, I'm sorry, massaging him.
And honestly, that could be for a number of reasons,
but how about this?
How about this?
Why don't you two go for the facials and the pedicures?
(26:23):
And when you're home alone by yourselves,
give him a massage yourself.
You know, dim the lights, you know, put some slow jams on,
you know, a little lay your head on my pillow,
you know, a little slow jams, you know, maybe light a candle or two,
you know, whip out the oil and you give him a massage.
Now, I mean, me personally, I don't mind a male masseur
(26:44):
as long as he stays above 110th Street, all right?
Now listen, Central Park is cool.
He can go to Jersey City, he can go to Brooklyn,
he can go to Fort Lee or The Bronx.
But anything below 57th Street is just off limits,
like I'm just saying.
But yo, and this is the funny thing, this is the funny thing.
(27:06):
So in the email, because I rewrote this
because the email was like long and crazy
and yall gotta stop sending us long, crazy emails.
Like I just can't.
But she described, it's too much, like it's too much.
So, but wait, she described how like the guys look,
the masseurs look at the place.
(27:26):
And she said the one guy looks like a big dick
alligator with dreds.
I was like, yo, you're nuts.
What you checkin' for, like?
Listen, I'm about to shut, look, look,
Khai, we about to go to the Mexican spot.
I'm shutting the show down.
Like, I can't, I can't.
But okay, so we got another one, we got another one.
(27:46):
So this one is from Fiona.
Fiona is 26.
Doesn’t, I don't see where she's from,
but anyway, she asks the guys, she says,
I have a very serious question for the three of you.
Uh-oh.
Here we go.
Fiona, what you about to come at us with?
Like, wait a minute, okay.
(28:06):
Okay, here we go.
How come every guy I get with watches porn?
I don't wanna be with a man who watches porn.
It's so unhealthy to me.
Ooh, it's, you know, it's loaded, but it's not.
(28:28):
But at the same time, I think it's funny,
we all come in age in different ways, right?
Men and women, definitely depends on where you are.
I think I grew up in a time where I wasn't the first one,
but people around me were talking about seeing this stuff
and showing me these images and things.
So now as far as once it’s introduced to your world
(28:49):
by someone else, it's something that's just there.
Because at the same time, I get to see and interact
with somebody, if I'm 16, I'm not doing this
with another 16-year-old, you know?
I'm interacting, seeing these scenes and vivid imagery,
but I'm not 16, I'm still trying to figure out
how do I finish AP Chem versus try and see
what Mr. Marcus is trying to do tomorrow, you know?
(29:11):
But it's kind of becomes like the lexicon of like,
in certain, the culture where porn exists,
like it's almost, for some, I don't want to speak
In generality, but it's almost, it's coming of age.
It's something that you've been doing for years on end,
and it's like, how do you break a cold turkey habit?
How do you go from, because I'm not always with a partner,
(29:32):
I could be, we're all in droughts, or just,
I'm not seeing anybody, but I doesn't,
that does not mean I'm not, I don't have sexual, you know,
tensions, sexual feelings I need to express myself somehow.
And some people don't have good imaginations by themselves,
they need something visibly in front of them.
So I look at it, sometimes porn is an aide,
because now, to say, I'm not going to be, you know,
taking you from the top row, sit down to, you know,
(29:54):
the bedroom, but at the same time,
I can see how different things, I mean,
I see my own every day, so I look at more so,
it's just images that help someone get to the level
of satisfaction that they want.
Now, if you want him to stop, you have to ask him,
why can't he?
Because it can be something where,
hey, I enjoy what we do, but if I see you once a week,
what am I supposed to do the other five days?
(30:15):
If I don't see you in that sense.
And so it's more so, I think, a question of,
and I think, because I, you know,
I don't hear the opposite of, yes,
there are women that watch porn,
but it's something that's not, sometimes,
it's almost more taboo if women say they watch porn,
than men say they do, and men, it's like,
oh my God, yeah, you got your favorite one,
you haven't heard it, and a woman,
you'd be like, how do you know this artist, right?
(30:36):
How do you hear about so-so?
What you been doing?
And so I think it's culturally for men it’s okay,
and women's like that, and she grew up that,
because why, at the same time,
would you rather him just watch porn
than be out here in the streets
doing something with someone else, potentially?
And so, honestly, I think it's asking,
why is this being viewed at this age,
but at the same time,
(30:56):
it's something that's ingrained in our society.
I mean, look at the proliferation of OnlyFans.
People that need income, it's technically,
pornographic images, I'm seeing a video
that helps somebody now, someone's getting money,
transaction, and it's helping with that,
but honestly, I see no harm, no foul,
unless it's something where I'm now trying to expect
(31:16):
what we see on film with you,
if that's not the case, and so that's sometimes
where I think the delineation,
where you have a lot of younger generations,
that's all they're doing, so they actually are expecting
that in that real life situation,
versus those that use that as an aid.
So I think it is an aid, or is it my main source
And youre here.
So the delineation, the distinction between them,
(31:37):
at the same time, that man's still your man,
he's still, yall still do whatever,
so the thing is, if this is the break,
let's really question about why,
if this is such a main issue, just because you don't do it,
you have partners, people have my partner smokes,
and I don't, you know, what's going on with that?
So I think it's, honestly, but if it's healthy,
(31:57):
unless there's concerning types of things he's watching,
that's what we're gonna watch out.
Cause we all know there's always a dark web.
Khai we're not gonna go there with you today.
We're not going down the dark web for, like, this is...
PG-13, yeah.
We'll keep PG-13, no, I mean not 13, we'll keep it.
Yeah, we're gonna do that too.
We're gonna do that too, cause it's 2024,
(32:18):
I'm turning over a new leaf.
You want the links?
Go ahead, Joey.
Go ahead, Joey.
Go ahead, Joey.
Yeah, that is, these are some very, very insightful questions.
Cause with porn, it is, it is a, it's like,
it's something that is, like, you can say it's not healthy
just because, like, you'll start to get
(32:39):
an unrealistic perception of women,
and not all women are, like, of course,
porn is gonna give you the best of the best.
Like, all the guys have big dings,
all the women are beautiful.
Sometimes.
Yeah, sometimes you'll get the best of the best.
Yeah, like, for the most part, like, of course,
there's every fetish and every type of rabbit hole.
But also, it is, for a guy, it is almost like you were saying,
(33:02):
a badge of honor, that is something that you do,
like, guys, like, a guy thing to do
is to go to the strip club.
Like, would you not want your guy to go to the strip club?
Like, no, cause he's throwing money at women,
and that's degrading to them, like, okay,
but in society, you're seen as a masculine guy
if you go to the strip club.
You're seen as a masculine guy, or more masculine,
(33:23):
like, that's like a sign of masculinity, kinda,
like, it's kind of a taboo one, like,
you don't admit to it, but, like, if you're like, oh,
like, you know, like, no guys are gonna be like,
oh, yeah, I watch porn, but if it's something that, like,
I'm talking to a girl about, like, yeah, like,
you know what, I double and dabble with it a little bit,
and you tell whatever your preference is,
but it's not something that you broadcast,
(33:43):
it's not something you wear on your shoulder,
like, yeah, I watch mad porn, like, no,
but why is she, like, it's also, like, is it a problem?
Is he watching too much porn?
Is he not giving her enough love?
And you know what I mean?
That could be the problem.
He's looking at too much porn,
and he's not giving her that same type of attention.
Maybe he's thinking that she's not as pretty as the girls
(34:03):
that he sees on a daily basis, which is a lot, like,
men can be very visceral.
Why don't, why is your body a little bit,
like, like, the last time the guy's like,
your coochie ugly, what coochies are you looking at?
You looking at, oh, yeah, every porn star coochie
might be like that just because of the nature
of the business that they're getting themselves into.
So when you start having those type of unrealistic,
(34:24):
like, personas of what women
or what regular people are supposed to be,
like, not everybody has a six pack,
not everybody has muscles,
not everybody has these things that you're seeing.
So I don't, I don't think it is, like, I'm a guy that,
like, in all honesty, like,
Have I watched porn, of course?
Am I an active participant
in doing that type of activity?
(34:45):
Like, sometimes, let's say, right?
But at the end of the day, like, can I turn it off?
Yes.
And if my girl is telling me, like,
she probably doesn't want me doing it as often
or things like that, I should be okay with that.
But also, I do have needs and I hope that if I,
like, it's like advice, it's like smoking or any,
or drinking or anything else.
(35:05):
If I gotta put this down,
I'm gonna probably need something to supplement my time
when I normally used to do that at night.
Maybe I just need a cold tea or something like that
to help me get through.
Whatever that is.
Yeah, whatever that is to help me get through. Or some lemonade.
Cause like, anything,
you can stop anything that you wanna do.
And now if it's more than that, like, no,
he has a porn addiction, like, he's fondling himself
(35:28):
during work hours where he needs to be working.
Now he's cutting into his money.
Like, now that's when,
that's like when porn becomes an addiction,
like porn addiction, like they're talking about.
Like, it's outside of just fun and games.
Like, he's just doing it
when he's alone on a Saturday night.
No, he's doing that at 4:30 on a Wednesday
when he has a meeting in 10 minutes.
Like, okay, now we're getting past that.
(35:48):
Yeah, we're getting past where it's acceptable.
But from a regular standpoint,
you probably should limit it
just so that you don't start to create.
It's also like social media.
Like, would you tell somebody that they're weird
for being on social media?
No, if somebody is like, I don't use social media,
would you be like, that's weird too?
Like, you might think that's more weird in this day and age
(36:09):
than watching porn.
Like, how are you not on social media type of thing?
So everything comes with the good and the bad.
And yes, porn can be bad
because the industry and all of the, like,
the ideology behind that can be bad,
but also it does serve a purpose.
And it's to entice people to do sexual acts, basically.
(36:33):
And that's how people like, back in the day,
this is my final thought, back in the day,
my parents and my friend's parents,
they used to have the VHS tapes
that they kept under the bed
that they don't bring out every once in a while.
They only brought it out every once in a while.
Back in the day, I still got them now.
Yeah, under the VHS, yeah.
And then that was the reason,
the rationale that they used to tell the kids back then
or what they told us is that they didn't know
(36:55):
because they got married or they were doing this so young
that they didn't know how to do these things.
So that was a video on how to do those things.
And that might've been true.
It might've been a lie.
I don't know.
I just know that it can be an instrument
to show you how to do things.
You know, that was actually on Sex Before the Internet.
It came on VICE and Joanna Briley was on that.
(37:18):
Shout out to her.
But it that on Sex Before the Internet.
There was this, I forgot,
I think it was called The Joy of Sex or something.
It was like a video collection.
I think it's also like nowadays, we are so desensitized.
Can everyone try, you know,
people back in the day, you had that back button, right?
Cinemax, then cartoons.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't get caught.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Taxicab Confessions.
I'm gonna watch Nelly's Tip Drill video for the first time.
(37:42):
And I'm like, what?
But now it's almost like you go on social media now,
you see that just scrolling.
Like in a way we have to be desensitized
where I can catch a titty on the ‘gram.
Just like watch on the ground.
Now I'm purposeful.
So the fact that, you know,
the man is doing what he's doing that,
cause would you rather him, you know,
and it's anybody like obsessing over a person
(38:04):
they see on social media
or just having this free form entertainment?
Cause it is in art at times too.
But also it's been desensitized where it's kind of like,
you should be happy I'm doing this versus
you find I'm liking this one model's 10,000 posts
every single day, hoping to catch something.
So I rather, you know, hey, it's the control form
versus actually have access to DM like,
(38:26):
hey, what's good?
It's everywhere though.
Like you said, it's everywhere.
It's like, and that's the thing with Instagram.
Like I don't even go on there if I can help myself.
But it's like, just as soon as you go on,
it's almost as if Instagram is listening to like
whatever's going on in your house or your neighborhood.
(38:47):
Anyway, Fiona, Fiona, Fiona,
Fiona, the cinnamon Apple of my eye.
You need to grow up.
Period.
Men watch porn.
But now what I will say is, like Joey mentioned,
if his porn consumption is excessive,
then that may be a red flag.
(39:08):
He may not be the guy for you.
However, your tone Fiona, it's just like,
it's very immature.
And I'm just gonna say this.
You really don't seem like experienced with men
or even like really interested in men.
And listen, that's fine if you're not interested in men.
Live in your truth, walk in the light and the right the way.
But something bothered me too about your letter.
(39:30):
And as the, and Khai, she purposely misspelled porn.
She spelled it P-R-O-N. Pron?
And I'm like, are you one of those people who write sex
with the X first and the S last?
Like, it's just weird.
It's weird.
And listen, sex is nothing to be ashamed of,
but it's like you've made it something dirty and disgusting.
(39:51):
So I hope that you find someone who can help you work
through whatever this issue is that you're going through.
Because men liking pornography doesn't seem
like it's the issue.
I think I was fortunate where we had sex education.
So even I was watching whatever secretly,
but I still had someone tell me this and that.
In a lot of schools, wherever they're from,
they're missing that part, right?
So you are finding things out the wrong way.
(40:12):
So what if you always thought that this is an act
versus this is something of pleasure?
So you got to act this way, you can do my voice,
you're a member of the act this way,
you should do this, blah, blah,
versus us actually seeing it as pleasurable.
It's almost like you got to eat three meals a day,
you gotta have sex one way for once a week.
It's almost like becomes task versus the fact of enjoying it,
(40:33):
the fact that you had to write it a certain way.
It's like, what?
Some people will look at it as almost like smoking.
That is like, it's an act that degrades your mind.
You know what I mean?
I would prefer a guy that doesn't smoke
because I don't want him polluting his body.
Maybe she's looking at porn as polluting his mind.
I'd rather not have somebody who is polluting his mind
(40:54):
all the time with all this porn
when he has a beautiful girl right in front of him
and he's still spanking his monkey all crazy.
So I can see, that's where I'm gonna disagree a little bit
with you Cris, I'm gonna give you
a little pushback right there.
Maybe it's not because she's 26.
I want this, I want this.
I know, that's the point.
Give me the smoke.
Yeah, yeah, I'm in the-
Give me the smoke!
That's what I'm saying.
Maybe it's not like that because I've had girls tell me,
(41:16):
yeah, you probably don't need to be watching
as much porn as you do and things like that.
First of all, you can't tell me what I need to be doing
because you know what I mean?
I should be wanting to not do that
because you're showing me,
you're supposed to show me the error of my ways
and then I'd be like, you know what, you're right.
And then you just force me like, no,
either you're gonna stop watching porn
or you don't wanna be with me.
I might not wanna be with you
(41:37):
because there's other people
that don't have those requirements of me
and I might be able to go, you know what I mean?
I might be able to do that
and still have a healthy relationship.
So I look at it as more as maybe like,
I don't want him to, maybe it might be the amount
or maybe it might be the type
or maybe I just don't want him doing it at all.
It can be kind of controlling
as long as it's not in a very like malicious nature.
(41:59):
It might be that like, like I said, it's smoking.
I don't want him to pollute his mind with too much porn.
But if it's something like that,
then you should be easy.
That should be the easiest conversation.
Hey, I think this is more of a hindrance to your mental
than something that is going to help and uplift you.
So I would prefer that you don't do this.
If you do do that, then it shows me that
(42:22):
where your level of care about certain things are.
And if she's very serious about it,
you should show how serious you are
and that means a lot to you.
So his level of care should be a little bit more
of the strength of that.
Yo Fiona was charged, man.
And I see it, she's from South Carolina, by the way,
but she wrote the whole letter in caps.
And I'm like, she's like talking at us.
(42:44):
And I told you guys about doing that.
Please don't talk at us.
But I'm like, Yo Fiona might need to go join Anonymous
instead of Anonymous boyfriend.
You know, at the massage please.
I mean, she might need to go get rubbed down
by the dredloc dude with the Pringles can,
I'm just saying.
Anyway, in all seriousness,
in all seriousness, I gotta pull it together.
(43:06):
This next letter comes from Keesha and Keesha's 26.
She's from Crown Heights, Brooklyn.
She's your neighbor, Khai.
She ride around with that Nina?
No, I’m sorry, I’m joking.
All right, so.
So Keesha, Keesha, yall are crazy.
Keesha asks the guys,
I'm considering getting some cosmetic surgery
(43:27):
because I'm very insecure about my nose.
I heard you advice last season about the BBL
and I thought it was excellent.
But my nose got me teased by my brothers
and they still do it when we get together
at holidays and family gatherings.
I just think it will improve my aesthetic
and open me up to more opportunities.
I think I want a nose job.
(43:48):
Please don't drag me, guys.
She writes, please don't drag me.
Joey, I'm gonna let you answer this first
because you're looking ready.
But just a second, before you answer.
Khai, I need you a little bit longer, Khai.
Can you tell whoever that is to,
that you’re doing The Cris David Show? I got you.
Listen, I'll give them tickets or something.
All right, cool.
So this is a tough dilemma.
(44:10):
It's a dilemma.
So one, people, especially your face,
your face is your moneymaker, right?
If you have any slight type of different pigmentation
or different type of things,
especially on something that's highly visible,
like your face, it can definitely make you feel
not only self-conscious, but also it can actually,
(44:30):
the world is a very cruel place.
And I hate to say it like that
because I wanna think that the world
is rainbows and butterflies.
But a lot of people will look at your face
and if it's not aesthetically pleasing to them,
yo, you're ugly, I'm sorry, you're ugly.
You might have the, that girl might have the most beautiful
heart in the world, but everybody thinks she has a big nose
and they're gonna be like, yeah, she's a really nice girl
(44:52):
with a big nose.
And that's so terrible, but that's the reality.
So I don't really believe in the BBLs and things like that
because I feel like your body,
like your face is something that like, yes.
Like if you have a cute face,
you can have whatever type of body that you want.
So that one I'm like, if I'm teetering,
I'll, that'll be one that I'll let you have that one.
(45:16):
If you wanna get a nose job, I think that,
and that's also less invasive
than if you were to get a full BBL and things like that.
They just kind of chip your nose a little bit
and they just give you a little bit like,
facial, like full blown plastic surgery,
you're doing Botox and then now you're looking like
Kim Kardashian type of thing.
Now I think that's a little excessive.
Like regular, like a little bit of rhinoplasty
(45:39):
or whatever you call that.
I'll say that is acceptable.
A little bit of a nose job, yes.
You're getting a full blown face reconstruction,
I would say no,
cause I don't think it was ever that deep.
And also you're changing your uniqueness
that some of those things like,
not anybody wants the big nose.
Nobody wants the big nose.
Nobody wants anything that is,
anything that's weird or anything
(46:00):
that they'll get made fun of.
And also you gotta remember that,
is it only your brother's making in front of you
or is that something that has been like,
throughout the years, like not only my brother,
but my ex-boyfriend or whoever.
If that's been a sore, like a thing that's been ongoing,
then yeah, that might be something that is an avenue
that you could go down.
(46:21):
I know my family can be cruel
and they might be the cruelest people that she's encountered.
You know what I mean?
Just because they know her well enough
to talk about her nose like that.
So it really, I would also like,
I'm a judge, show me the picture.
I gotta see the Carfax.
Show me the Carfax and I'll let you know
if you need one or not.
So I think if it like that, show me what you look like
and I'll tell you if you need it or not.
(46:42):
From my standpoint, I got a good judge of character.
I think I'm pretty good at what's ugly and what's cute.
So I think that's what we need to do.
I say a nose job, yes,
but if it's full blown facial reconstruction, no.
And a BBL, no either, because like I said,
a lot more complications,
a lot more problems than solutions with that.
I think what's interesting behind this,
like just growing up in like an ethnic family in general,
(47:04):
you get called out for doing,
especially in our community,
you get called out for doing the most positive things.
Mundane, yeah, you get called,
they making fun for you for having an umbrella
on a rainy day, like yo, what the hell?
Oh, look at you prepared ass, lookin ass.
He's so prepared over here.
Yeah, right.
And so I've been growing up with that,
but it's like a couple of things.
One, we brothers, is your nose similar or not?
(47:25):
Like there's similar genetics, right?
Yeah, right, her nose is like, yeah, for sure.
It's the fact of a nose job,
and actually you're seeing a rise of this
because people are really,
the Black nose or the ethnic nose, they don't want that.
And it's interesting how my nose,
like you said, the eye of the beholder,
is my nose really holding me back from life
or just socially how I feel?
(47:46):
Like every time I get up and I look at the mirror,
it's like, damn, I got good teeth, everything,
but that nose is one thing that's sticking out to me.
So I think it goes back to like mental health
and body dysmorphia, how we're really seeing one another,
how we view each other, right?
You say, who's bigger, the fact of,
family's family, right?
Your family's gonna be harsh on you.
You go home, oh, you gained a little weight, whatever,
but the fact of how else, when she goes through her day,
is she being judged on her nose
(48:06):
or she’s just internalized this whole thing,
like my nose is what's making my life terrible.
And the thing about that where she can go get the surgery,
but one thing we forget, like you can't change genetics.
So she has kids down the line,
mommy, why you don't look like this?
Like, why does my nose not look like your nose now?
And so now if your daughter has your genetics and genes,
what are you gonna do when she's 26?
(48:27):
Hey, babe, it's time to get your annual,
like the family nose job.
So that's the only thing, it's almost like,
that's just for me, but it's impact is down the road,
because now, I might, if I don't want my daughter,
or son to be like, hey, you should feel good about yourself,
but you didn't, because you didn't.
So now it's even opened up that old thing of,
now this is a thing I'm setting in motion.
(48:47):
But honestly, like you said, I think it's,
if you're gonna do it, go to a surgeon you trust,
because even though it's not as bad as, not bad,
but like, BBL's did it back when someone's based in Miami,
you still wanna go to a board certified person, right?
You still wanna make sure, like,
you don't wanna use your tax income of 5K,
if it costs eight grand, pay the eight grand,
because you have that care and concern,
because imagine doing this,
(49:08):
and I think somebody don't look at it the bad side,
we see it a few times, you see on social media,
you got a botched job,
and now you're paying more money to keep going.
So it's almost like-
That's the scariest part, don't have somebody,
like you could have had a, let's say that your face
was decent, and then they now made it less decent
than what it was originally, and that's also,
that's also part of the coin,
our understanding of doing these type of things,
(49:30):
because like everything does a hierarchy,
getting your boobs done is not as bad as getting a BBL,
getting your nose done is not as bad as doing your boobs,
getting your teeth done is not as bad as getting your,
like, you know what I mean?
Like, oh, there's like tier levels to these type of things,
so getting your teeth done is acceptable,
but not getting your nose done,
like, I don't look at it like that.
It just is, like you said, be safe about it,
(49:51):
be responsible about it,
and then also like, you know how you feel,
like, if it really is something how you feel,
and it really hurts you, like pride,
and it hurts your spirit, get it,
because there's nothing that we can tell you,
like, you're probably gonna get it,
whether I told you to get it or not,
you know what I mean?
So if it's one of those type of things,
do what's gonna make you live
the happiest life that you can,
and that nose is really,
(50:12):
just from your own psychological standpoint,
is holding you back, then get the nose job,
be safe about it,
and I hope that you're not doing things needlessly,
like, I have, I think I have decent teeth,
like, they're not the best, I got a chip on one of them,
but I'm not gonna knock all of these out for veneers,
and put myself financially at a disadvantage,
and whatchamacallit,
because these are functioning teeth,
(50:32):
and they're not that bad, like,
yeah, just get a new, get your chip fixed,
and other than that, call it a day.
And then like, on top of that, like,
your point too, Joey,
is like, I think some people forget, like,
there's, this is, there's maintenance to anything, right?
Plus, it'll be either forever,
if I get my nose done,
then you get touched up in 10 years,
and I get, you know, you get Botox,
like, a lot of this stuff you see,
like, people don't tell you behind the scenes,
(50:53):
but it's not meant to be forever, it's a fix,
so now in 10, 15 years,
this is an investment you're making for the rest of your life,
because what if something happens,
you don't like your nose later,
or it gets broken again,
like, so much that could happen that,
doing this right now, is it, can I breathe right?
Is it good? Does it function?
Do I still get forehead kisses from somebody?
Like,
that's not bad.
(51:14):
That's not bad.
Keesha, listen, we would never drag you, like,
this is a safe space for all of our guests and our audience,
but you know who we will drag?
Your brothers.
Yeah.
Yeah, we'll drag your brothers.
Listen, your brothers sound like jackasses, honestly.
(51:35):
Like, ignore them.
Don't go throwing off your facial proportions.
Unless it's fun and games,
if it's fun and game banter, then that should be like-
But, Joey, it's not fun and games if she asking us.
It's bothering her.
It's bothering her.
And I don't do this,
because, I mean, I like people to have, like,
(51:55):
some type of anonymity,
even though she gave us her name
and everything she said where she's from.
Keesha is very, very, very pretty.
Like, yo, man, Keesha looks like-
That's what I'm saying.
Let me see the picture.
Oh nah.
My girl won't like that.
My girl won't like that.
Yo.
I mean, I got a bacon, egg, and cheese with her name on it.
So, listen, Keesha looks like Ananda Lewis,
(52:18):
or like, Chili from TLC.
You guys know who Ananda Lewis is.
She's like, yo, she's like number one stunner.
Anyway, let me stop.
Cris, focus, focus, focus.
But listen, nose jobs are one of those things
where you could be very lucky and have a very good outcome,
or you could be very unlucky and end up on Botched,
(52:39):
especially as a Black person,
because your nose is in the center of your face.
It is the first thing people see when they look at you.
And just in my opinion, Keesha,
do not mess with your nose.
And Keesha's question was originally for our Sex Coach,
but I hit her up and I asked Keesha, I said,
is this okay if we answer it?
(52:59):
Because we're advice also.
And she said, cool.
So Keesha, thank you for letting us do this.
I hope we helped.
I hope we helped you.
Folks have been asking about Casey.
Casey was the girl if you watched the Sex Coach episode.
She had the BBL.
Well, she wanted to know,
she wanted advice on getting a BBL.
(53:19):
I'll have an update for her on that next episode.
But this is, okay, so we got another one.
This one comes from a guy, his name is Jae.
Jay with an E.
Jay with an E is 24, he's from Georgia.
And Jae asks the guys, I'm 24,
and I've been skinny all my life.
I got picked on about it.
And now that I'm grown, I'm still insecure about my weight.
(53:42):
I wanna gain weight because I'm tired of being skinny.
It's one of those things that like,
bombardment of issues,
I mean, bombardment of images you're seeing that like,
my natural being who I am is somehow wrong.
And it's not necessarily, somehow it's wrong for society,
so it's wrong for me versus being individual.
(54:04):
And it's funny, cause being an opposite,
I've always been a bigger guy my entire life.
And I had to deal with that aspect of it,
but it really does come from the fact of...
Khai, before you finish,
I have a quick thing that I found out about you.
What's this I hear that you used to have a tail in the back?
(54:24):
What's this I hear?
You had one too, Joe.
That was a 90s thing, I had one too, everybody had one.
Yeah, I, yeah.
With a high top fade,
high top fade with a rat tail in the back.
Everybody had one.
High top fade, I didn't have a tail.
I had the fade though.
I cut mine off the day before high school.
I had mine from like pre-K to all the way to high school.
Mom used to make me add a little weave
and make it a lay for a little bit.
(54:45):
That's what I heard.
Now, this is what I heard. No weave.
This is what I heard. I had mine naturally.
Khai, Khai, I gotta see a photo.
You gotta send me a picture.
I think my mom has it somewhere.
Even like the haircut piece, it's somewhere.
Listen, I gotta see this.
It's what I forget about that.
This is peak 80s babies right now.
Like this is peak 80s babies.
(55:06):
We all had one though.
That was the thing though.
That was ‘95, ‘96, ‘95, ‘96, ‘99.
For the ‘99, 2000.
I cut mine off the day before high school.
I'm like, oh, I gotta grow up.
Now I had to give mine up the barber cut it.
He gave me the skin fade
and then he got a little too close to it
and cut it off like that.
Oh man, no.
Yeah, you might as well take the whole thing with it.
(55:28):
He did you like Coming to America.
Yeah, yeah he did.
Oh yeah.
He said that’ll be $20.
Oh man, that's hilarious.
Wow, bringing up all the memories.
Okay, but Khai, go ahead, go ahead.
I had to, I had to.
I got ops in my house.
Nah.
No, no.
No.
I find that the images of like
(55:49):
Body dysmorphia being skinny,
it's one of those things of,
I think sometimes people forget like genetics are genetics.
Like if you can't, like you can try
but if it's not working, high metabolism.
But you know, also wait till you get that late 20s.
That's gonna change like, no other.
That's why I say women who hit that late 20s Rihanna
weight gain, fantastic.
They're a little more in the hips than they,
(56:10):
but men too, you change your body up.
It happens.
I say, you know, enjoy the ride while you can now.
You can now, you know, enjoy it.
But I think honestly, it's like any of this, right?
What are you looking to gain, right?
A better sense of self-confidence, cool.
But if it's like what, beyond that,
I might feel better myself.
I can start going on walks.
(56:31):
I can take breaks.
I can do other things to help with myself feel better.
But the actual body, if it's hindering the way I operate,
breathe, medical issues, you know, leave it alone.
But again, if this is something that's gonna make you feel
better every day you wake up, do what you can to do that.
But honestly, if you're skinny, you're skinny.
You are your size, you are your size.
But who you are today is not who you’re gonna be in a couple of years.
(56:53):
Cause you always look at photos of your grandparents,
your dads and people.
You're like, yo, you know, I remember looking at my mom
and my mom used to be like, my mom was like,
prom queen, looking good.
Three kids later, she still looks good,
but she ain't the same as she was in her early 20s.
Nah, they're not the same.
And so enjoy it while you can, but at the same time,
like there's way to fix it, right?
(57:13):
There's gym routines, like, you know, natural ways.
Start bulking if you want to work with people, you know,
bulk of winter, slip down to the spring,
figure out what works for your body.
But honestly, every crew needs a one skinny guy.
Every crew needs a one skinny guy.
And so-
Listen, we got a ours right here, okay?
We got our skinny guy right here.
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