December 1, 2023 • 40 mins
The Sex Coach is back! The Cris David Show is closing out 2023 with one of our most requested guests, Clinical Certified Sexuality Coach, Toni Drumwright-Antoine!
This episode is available on YouTube: https://youtu.be/-pv1lzhL8fI
For more info on Coach Toni:
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Want your question featured on our next #talklikesex Q&A with Coach Toni? Send it to info@thecrisdavidshow.com. Be sure to place “Sex Coach” in the subject line, and include your age, gender, and location. Only include your name if you do not wish to remain anonymous. Your question should be no more than 420 characters. For example, this paragraph is exactly 420 characters, your message shouldn't be longer than this.
Catch our previous #talklikesex Q&A here: https://youtu.be/uHrD313AH_0
Catch our 1-on-1 with Coach Toni here: https://youtu.be/GkdTKjLXgZQ
December 1, 2023 marks the 35th annual World AIDS Day—a time when we not only reflect on those we’ve lost, but we look at the progress that’s been made in HIV/AIDS research. Since 2010, new HIV infections have declined by 38%, from 2.1 million to 1.3 million in 2022. AIDS-related deaths have been reduced by 69% since the peak in 2004 and by 51% since 2010.†
However, those numbers are still too high and too many people are still being infected. We can do more. Take action! Make a difference. Visit www.unaids.org/en/takeaction
It’s all about community.
When AIDS affects one of us, AIDS affects us all.
†UNAIDS. (2023) Global HIV & AIDS statistics Fact sheet. www.unaids.org/en/resources/fact-sheet
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
When they want to make money off of stuff.
(00:07):
And like I said on the last show, the solar flares just can't come soon enough. They can’t.
But anyway, Toni, this one is from Steve.
So Steve says, I'm trying to get my new lady into a fetish that I have for doing it out
in the open.
I like fooling around in the park, on the bus and the train, in Uber's and taxis, even
(00:29):
at the movies.
See me and my last jig used to get it in all over the place, up in the dressing room at
Macy's.
And Steve, like I told you before, you better not be on Fulton Street with that shit.
Take that mess to Kings Plaza.
I'm sorry, Toni.
In the rest of my booth, just anywhere we got the urge.
(00:49):
I need some tips on getting my new lady to be more of a freakbody, as you say.
Please help.
Peace, Steve.
Anyway, Steve is 40 and he's from New York.
This one, this one, you know, I tried to be very neutral and, you know, everything for
me is a judgment free zone.
That's my responsibility.
That's my responsibility.
(01:10):
But Steve, come on now.
So I would say if your current partner is more conservative, you can't expect her to
go from zero to a hundred just like that.
You know, especially because your last partner was like that.
So that's, you know, number one, don't compare her to your last partner.
That's extremely unfair to your new lady.
But, you know, I was wondering having communicated to her what you liked.
(01:35):
So I don't know, he didn't mention how long they've been together.
I think he just said his new lady.
But you know how when you're in the talking stage and you kind of, you know, by that third
of what conversation you're talking about, OK, what's your favorite sexual position or
things like that.
Like, did you have a conversation, Steve, that you like it like really, really freaky,
(01:56):
that you like doing it outdoors is almost a requirement to be satisfied.
Like, did you have that communication?
So I think that is something that if you didn't have a conversation about, you might want
to have it sooner rather than later.
If you did have a conversation, you know, I'm curious to know like how receptive she
(02:18):
was.
You know, if it's not her thing, then, you know, that technically, Steve, is still on
you because you pursued her.
But more importantly, to answer your question.
So first thing, I would at least start with a level three because you're at a hundred.
You're expecting her to be at a hundred already, Steve.
So start at level three at least.
Go to the movies.
(02:39):
Start off touching each other to see where that goes.
What I will say is don't go to the movies with the sole purpose of wanting to get busy
in a theater because it's going to come off as you just using her to get your rocks off.
So I don't want it to be a situation where you're just trying to any woman that you be
with, you're trying to just go places to have sex and you're not investing in the relationship.
(03:03):
So do things like that.
Make her feel comfortable.
That's the most important thing because you can't expect somebody to be out in the middle
of the park giving you head and she's not comfortable and feeling like she's in a safe
space.
So I think Steve, I don't know how it initiated with a previous person that you were with
If she was already on a hundred when you met her.
(03:24):
But with this new person, don't compare her to your first relationship.
You have to start from square one, make sure the communication is open and make sure she
is in a safe and trusting space.
I think that's the most important thing, but definitely have that communication with her,
but don't expect her to hop on a flight and give you head next to the lady who's in the
(03:45):
third seat.
Like that's a little bit unrealistic.
So just, I don't want to say lower your expectations, but I will say just be realistic.
And you know Steve, you have to like, like, um, um, our Men's Panel, you know, we talked about this one
and you know, you have to ease people into kinks.
(04:08):
You can't just expect them to just be ready to just dive right into something that you've
been doing a long time.
Like you have to communicate.
You have to, you know, kind of warm them up to that type of thing.
Steve, my thing is this, don't get caught!
You and your lady could end up on a sex offender registry.
(04:29):
So chill out.
You know what Steve, like I told you in the other video, be assertive and effective because
assertive and effective communication is key.
Be direct and Toni, I don't know.
There's a lot of exhibitionism these days.
I don't know what it is.
(04:50):
Maybe it's the stock market or something.
I don't know.
So next we have Anonymous from Ohio and she writes, my husband has ED also known as erectile
dysfunction.
He tried those mints they sell on television called Hims, but it's not working for him.
Do you have any suggestions?
We have been together 27 years and we have two kids and five grandkids.
(05:14):
I love him dearly and I want him to get it up so we can do like we used to do back in
the day before the kids.
She sounds like a fun lady, Toni.
Seriously.
See guys, this is what you guys should aspire for.
You know, 27 years they've been together.
But Toni, what should Anonymous do?
(05:35):
Yes.
So hi Anonymous.
Firstly, congratulations on 27 years of marriage because that is amazing.
So erectile dysfunction, it involves abnormalities in the penile arteries, the veins or both.
And this is especially in older men.
So when the problem is arterial, it's usually caused by something called arteriosclerosis
(06:00):
or hardening of arteries, although trauma in the arteries can be caused.
So first things first, I would suggest seeing a doctor just to further assess why your husband
is experiencing ED.
So you know, by just taking a mint, you know, that you got where you saw on TV is definitely
not going to treat the underlying cause.
So that is the most important thing is you definitely always want to see a doctor because
(06:25):
it can be due to a number of things.
It could be smoking, being overweight, a medical condition, alcohol or drug use.
And sometimes it's just not being physically active.
You know, and I know, like since the pandemic started, a lot of our lifestyles have changed.
So for me, you know, I've been working from home for three years.
So this is like literally the laziest I've ever been in my life.
(06:49):
So it's just a number of things.
A lot of people have become physically inactive and not because of laziness, just because
of circumstances.
So before starting something like that, you know, definitely make some lifestyle changes
and then, you know, see if that could help.
But that's after speaking to a doctor.
As far as the intimacy front goes, I would suggest things like sensual massages, using
(07:13):
cock rings.
So just, I have visuals for this question.
Ooh nice!
So as far as cock rings go, what a cock ring does
is it prolongs ejaculation.
So this one here, this is actually a couples toy.
So hopefully you can see it, right?
This is called R&B, like Rhythm and Blues R&B.
(07:37):
So the way this works as far as the cock ring goes, you're going to grab a little bit of
lube here and slide it onto the base of the penis.
And then what it does is it's going to prolong ejaculation.
So if you do have instances where he is able to get an erection, definitely consider using
a cock ring.
We don't sell them where it's just the ring, you know, that you can just quickly throw
(08:02):
on.
But this one, like I said, it's a couples one.
So while this is on the penis, there's a little button here because this is a bullet and these
will hit, these little bunny ears will hit the clitoris.
So as you're thrusting, you're both feeling a slight sensation.
But the more important thing is it's prolonging ejaculation for him.
(08:22):
So you get a 2-for-1 on this one, because if you don't want to use it with a penis,
like you and your partner can have foreplay, he can use this on you.
So this is our version of a bullet.
Okay.
And it is USB chargeable.
And so you're going to hold this a little button right here, you're going to hold that
button down for about four seconds.
(08:44):
And it's vibrating.
So your husband can, you know, rub this on your clitoris while giving massage, he can
rub this on the nipples.
So that's where that intimacy and sensual massages come in.
This has multiple speeds.
So you can do something like that.
We have another one, which is pretty much the exact same concept.
(09:04):
And this one is called Rise & Shine.
So if you feel like this one might be a little too small or it’s stripping, it does actually stretch.
Rise & Shine is a little more stretchy.
So I'm going to pull out our friend again, right?
So this goes, like I said, the base of the penis all the way down here.
(09:28):
So once this is squeezed, it helps to prolong ejaculation.
Right.
And like I said, it helps to put lube on it just so that it doesn't pull hairs or make
him uncomfortable.
Okay.
So I would suggest something like that, you know, if he does experience moments where
he is able to get an or experience an erection, you know, like I said, it's going to help
(09:53):
prolong the ejaculation.
We also have a spray, it's called Stamina-Male and Stamina-Male is a prolonging spray.
So you know, put this on the penis and it prolongs the ejaculation.
So that's something that I would consider as well.
Also as far as like the foreplay front, we have these cards.
So we have a lot of things for not necessarily intercourse, but we have foreplay things as
(10:17):
well.
So this game is a card game is called Delicious Encounters.
And it's basically like an oral sex game.
So it has, let's see, it's of course, 50 different foreplay and oral sex positions.
It contains 25 oral sex cards for him and 25 for her.
(10:43):
So you can, you know, use these something like these and, you know, continue with intimacy
and, you know, keeping it fresh like you did before the kids.
Also I wanted to talk about foods as well.
And for this, I did a little research.
So I want to read a couple of things.
There are foods that would also help.
(11:06):
You know, so this is basically nine foods that can help keep a stronger erection or
help sustain an erection.
This is from the men's, from the Proactive Men's Medical Center.
They're actually based in Cincinnati, Ohio.
And so the first one being watermelon, it’s good for good erection because it dilates and relaxes
(11:28):
blood vessels, making it easier for blood flow to the penis.
So the next one is spinach and other leafy greens.
And spinach is high in nitric acid and therefore like other hard erection foods helps arteries
expand and fill up with blood.
Next one is coffee.
(11:49):
So coffee is good for penis growth.
I'm not quoting that, but I'm just reading from this article here.
But basically because coffee has caffeine in it, caffeine is an effective penis food
because it relaxes the smooth muscles of the penis, paving the way for blood to fill up.
Next we have dark chocolate.
(12:11):
So you know, dark chocolate is a top food for strong erection because it's packed with
flavonoids, which make it easier for blood flow through the body.
However, because dark chocolate is also often high in sugar and fat, eating too much can
help gain weight.
So remember earlier when I mentioned that one of the causes could be because of, you
(12:35):
know, overweight.
So you just, you know, might want to be a little mindful when it comes to dark chocolate.
An ounce of dark chocolate has 155 calories and nine grams of fat.
So just, it might not be the healthiest of foods to choose from when helping, you know,
consider erection.
Next is salmon.
Everybody loves salmon.
Salmon is one of the best foods to help get erect because it's rich in vitamin D. Vitamin
(13:00):
D has been shown to help prevent endothelial dysfunction, which is when your arteries,
blood vessels, and organs aren't able to properly circulate blood.
Next we have pistachios.
So pistachios are packed with something called arginine.
The arginine encourages the production of nitric acid, which in turn helps regulate
(13:22):
blood flow to the penis and other parts of the body.
We also have almonds, walnuts, and other nuts because they are rich in high density lipoprotein.
Next is orange and blueberries.
So although oranges and blueberries seem to have little in common with dark chocolate,
they share one important trait, which is the flavonoids.
(13:46):
So this makes them one of the best foods for erectile dysfunction.
Flavonoids encourage the blood flow, which allows the penis to become engorged after it’s stimulated
And then the last one, number nine, is spicy hot foods.
So thanks to Capsaicin, which is found in hot peppers, a little hot sauce or a little
(14:07):
habañero on the side may help with getting an erection.
So like I said, this was, you know, I did a little bit of research.
This was something, an article from the Proactive Men's Medical Center.
But then, you know, lastly, overall, it's just so important to keep intimacy, you know,
even if it doesn't involve penetration.
(14:30):
So you know, touching, massaging, you know, that's a great route to experiencing intimacy
when you're, you know, when erectile dysfunction is involved.
And also, one thing that I would say is just important to talk to your husband so that
he doesn't feel pressured to get an erection.
Because if you don't have that conversation with him, every time you go to massage him
(14:54):
or just touch his body, he might think, okay, she's wanting this to result in penetration.
And it might just be you wanting that intimacy aspect of it.
So just assure, you know, assure him tonight is just a couple's massage night, you know,
or tonight might be a night that we play this oral sex game, something like that.
(15:15):
But have a conversation.
But more importantly, I highly recommend and encourage him to see a doctor just to determine
what the underlying cause is of his ED.
What I do want to suggest though, he does is get his testosterone checked out.
(15:35):
Also Estradiol and SHBG, it's called sex hormone binding, sex hormone binding globulin.
He can do all of that in endocrinologists or at a men's wellness clinic.
And once the labs come back, you know, the doctor may suggest TRT, testosterone replacement
(15:58):
therapy, or something lighter like, like Cialis or Viagra.
I mean, they're even studies out on this drug called Toremifene, and it's a cancer drug.
But they show that people get improvement, you know, with testosterone production when
they take it in certain doses.
But however, I am not a medical professional.
(16:20):
So please consult with, you know, an endocrinologist or urologist or your primary and write us
back and let us know how everything goes.
And congratulations on making 27 years of marriage.
And also, you know what, because you know, Toni, you know I'm nosy.
I want to, we want to know how you two met, you know, all those years ago.
(16:41):
But Toni, next up we have Shidah.
And Shidah's 35 and she's from Philly.
So Shidah says, Hi, Cris, David and Coach Toni, I have a problem orgasming without having
the music on.
And my husband absolutely hates it.
What can I do?
Okay, so hi, Shidah.
(17:03):
So at first I was wondering, what is the root cause of not being able to orgasm without
the music playing?
And without knowing that my first instinct was to just suggest speaking with a therapist.
But what I will say is, as far as working, you know, with your husband, you both have
(17:24):
to get on the same page.
So I don't think that music is the worst thing in the world.
But sometimes a little spontaneity goes a long way without having to get up and set
up a playlist and you know, things like that.
So in the meantime, maybe you both can compromise.
Start off with turning the music down a little bit lower.
So I don't know if his gripe is the music blasting.
Maybe you can turn the music down, you know, and then the next time make it go lower and
(17:49):
then a little bit lower.
And then just keep trying until you can both get on, you know, a meeting ground.
But also, I would definitely recommend that you meet him in the middle and periodically
practice doing it with the music off.
You know, and if that means you've got to switch it up and introduce a couple's toy
just to, you know, give you some added distraction to help you to orgasm, then, you know, go for
(18:14):
it.
But you're not going to have a situation where 100% of the time you're going to have to be
able to get up and get music on.
That's very unrealistic.
But meet your husband in the middle.
You know, if he has an issue with the music, obviously there's a reason why you both need
to talk about it.
And here we go with the communication thing again.
(18:34):
Like a lot of these instances can be resolved or handled if you both communicate it, like
why you need music and why he hates the music.
Is it the type of music?
Like are you rocking heavy metal while you two are, you know, getting busy?
So I would just say start by practicing to lower the music a little bit lower, a little
(18:58):
bit lower until it's very low and potentially off.
But then in the meantime, you also have to give him a bone and turn it off sometimes
and see, you know, how you two can work and kind of meet on a middle ground.
And you know, Toni, I wonder if it's the radio because the radio can be jarring, you know,
(19:20):
with all of the ads and the differences in like audio processing.
I don't know.
I'm a nerd when it comes to stuff like that, but I wonder if that's what it is.
Another thing I was thinking, maybe you two can cultivate your own playlist of like your
wedding song, provided you all had a reception and things like that.
(19:41):
Or, you know, the song that you two really like, but just work together to cultivate
a playlist that belongs to just you two.
And maybe something like that would help.
But in the meantime, I would still suggest, you know, trying to work with your husband
and switching it up a bit and trying without the music and maybe adding something else
(20:01):
enhance that experience.
Shidah, and also other people who've written, write us back.
And if you're, you know, a new person writing us, let us know your marital status.
Let us know how long you've been with your partner or whoever you're with.
(20:21):
And that's, you know, just really it.
That's what we want to know because that helps us with, you know, answering these questions
for you all.
Toni, we have this new segment on the show.
It's called It's Giving.
And I don't know, like Shidah's just giving serial killer with the radio turned all the
way up.
Like, I mean, Shidah, do you sleep with it on too?
(20:42):
Like I'm just joking, Shidah.
Shidah, I'm just, you know me.
You know I joke.
But write us back and everyone write us back.
Okay.
Toni, do we have time for a few more?
Yes, we do.
All right.
Okay.
So this next one comes from Will.
Will's 56 and he's from California.
(21:03):
Will says, I have an active lifestyle, so I play often.
Recently I've been taking this new medication and I noticed that it takes me too long to
ejaculate.
I have spoken with my physician about it and he says it should wear off with time.
Can I do anything in the meantime?
Thanks, Will.
Yeah.
So with this one, first of all, hi Will.
(21:26):
I don't know if that's the only advice that your doctor gave you or if, you know, he gave
you additional feedback and this is like a condensed version of what you're trying to
Relay to us.
But if that's the only thing he said, then I would definitely try to seek an opinion
from another physician.
Now, delayed ejaculation, it does depend on a number of things.
In this case, you gave us the reason, which is your new medication.
(21:49):
So and then just in my research, what I noticed is that a lot of medications that were on
the list of reasons for delayed ejaculation are potentially medications that you would
have to likely be on for the long term.
So I'm not sure if that's your situation and that's your business.
(22:11):
And so of course, I'm not a medical doctor, but I would suggest that you talk to your
doctor about maybe revisiting the dosage to see if that could maybe help.
But delayed ejaculation can be either temporary or a lifelong problem.
So you know, one thing that stuck out to me was that the complications or one of the complications
(22:34):
can be diminished sexual pleasure.
So I would just recommend going back to your doctor simply because unfortunately, I don't
have a lot of information to give you on this simply because I feel like it's the responsibility
is partly in your doctor's hand instead of saying, oh, it's kind of wear off over time.
Because what does that mean?
What is over time?
(22:54):
Is that in two weeks, two months, nine months?
Like you want to be comfortable when you're experiencing intimacy and you don't want,
of course, your sexual pleasure to diminish over it.
So I would say talk again to your doctor.
And if your doctor isn't receptive to that, then maybe consider talking to another doctor.
(23:17):
But you just want to get specifics on what it is that you can do.
Can you reduce the dosage?
Is there like another version of that medication that you can take?
So that's just something that's important.
I feel like I didn't really give like a whole bunch of information.
And I want to try to likely simply because I'm not a doctor and this involves your medication.
(23:38):
But just in doing my research, you've kind of like pinpointed for us the exact reason
why it's happening, which is the medication.
So yeah, I would say that.
Will, thanks for writing us and definitely take Coach Toni's advice.
Check into what I suggested for Anonymous who has been married for 27 years, her husband.
(24:00):
And you know, Toni it’s funny.
It's something I noticed about Will and the Anonymous from 27 years.
Like I can tell that they're older by how they space their sentences.
Like I'm thinking like when they learned how to type, they probably learned how to type
on typewriters.
Like me and you did.
(24:22):
Because we're good and grown.
We're good and grown.
That was really cool, but see you kids missed out.
And you know what else, Toni?
Remember you used to have to have the Wite-Out handy in case you made a mistake?
Of course.
Yeah.
See the kids, they really missed out.
Like they don't even learn cursive anymore. I know.
I mean, they barely know how to use a ruler.
(24:45):
Right.
I mean, seriously.
But Toni, are you in the mood for one more?
Yes, let's take one more.
Okay.
So this one comes from Terrence.
Terrence is 28 from Philly.
Hi, my name is Terrence and I'm 28 years old.
I have a foot fetish, but I can't tell my wife because she might leave me.
(25:06):
Hold up.
Terrence Howard?
I had to.
Remember? I had to.
I had to because remember his character in The Best Man, liked the feet. The character Quentin.
But anyway, take it away, Toni.
So I don't see an issue with having a foot fetish unless you're leaving out a significant
part of the story.
So like, have you done anything that was disrespectful to your wife involving your fetish?
(25:30):
Are you entertaining other people's feet?
You know, that don't belong to your wife?
I mean, talk to your wife.
She might like it as long as you're giving her feet the attention and not to someone
else.
Like I really don't see a problem with that.
She might like the added attention to her feet.
But I really don't think this is a fetish or something that's worthy of being left for.
(25:53):
So you could just be panicking like, oh, my wife might not like me because I never told her
about this.
But it's never too late to open up those lines of communication.
Just have a conversation.
And it's not even a difficult conversation.
It really isn't.
So just speak to your wife.
Let her know what it is you like, maybe why you like it.
(26:13):
And then just incorporate that into your intimacy.
And, you know, Terrence, I hope you and your wife, Shelby.
No, I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
But I hope your wife isn't that petty to just leave you over that.
I mean, we got men staying with women out here who got pregnant during their marriage.
You know what I'm saying?
I mean, come on.
(26:34):
I highly doubt that she'll leave you.
But I mean, I could be wrong.
You know, just like I'm still trying to hold on to faith that Casey isn't going to go run
and get a BBL.
But I don't know, Toni.
I don't know.
So Jahmel from last season, he followed up with us.
He remember he wanted to get his girlfriend to try anal on him.
(26:57):
And Jahmel is 37.
He's from Long Island.
And he writes, me and my girl are Black.
She's a little bit younger than me, but we are around the same age.
Okay.
I got her to do it because you said there were health benefits.
She thought I was lying, but she watched for herself.
Well, yes.
(27:17):
Yeah.
Like, you know, just do your research on prostate massage and, you know, things of that nature.
But, you know, Jahmel, I'm very glad that you are comfortable enough to have that conversation
with your girlfriend.
And I'm glad that it worked out.
Congratulations, Jahmel.
I mean, I'm glad we were able to open you up to a whole new world.
(27:38):
But anyway, Coach, I'm a mess.
I'm in trouble.
Coach Toni, are there any takeaways from these folks today?
The most important thing is always going to be communication.
A lot of our questions that we answer or, you know, talk about can be solved by just
having open lines of communication with our partners.
(28:01):
So that's probably the biggest takeaway today.
And I'll probably always, you know, and we all can use improvement on our communication
skills, even me.
You know, there's some times where I want to like get upset with my husband, but then
I'm like, I've got to check myself like, wait, you didn't specifically say this, that, and
the third one.
(28:21):
You didn't communicate needed it now or something like that.
So communication is always important, keeping those lines of communication open, but just
also be self-aware of what it is that you shared, you know, with your partner and the
ramifications of not sharing certain things.
Absolutely.
And yeah, because Toni is a Leo, everyone, you know, they're ready to...
(28:45):
Okay.
Exactly.
No, Toni's a sweetheart.
Toni's a sweetheart.
But Toni, you know what's crazy?
I read this article about this woman, and I don't even know if the article was real.
It could have been one of those like Wattpad articles, but she said that she divorced her
husband because she found out he won a bet to take her virginity.
(29:10):
Oh wow, that's terrible.
Yeah, I would divorce too.
I wonder how long they were married?
I don't even know if it was real
because it was on like
this sketchy website.
You know, I read everything.
You know, I, you know me.
I'm a sponge.
But speaking of bets, though, I'm willing to bet that Casey gets that BBL.
(29:34):
I hope not.
I hope she don't.
I hope she doesn't.
But I mean, she's 21, you know, like these, these again, it’s Gen Z, like they're out
here just yolo-ing.
You know, but when I was 21, I was in a relationship.
This guy, he called me at midnight on my 21st birthday, and we were together for a couple
(29:55):
of years and we were even engaged and I was tiny.
And he loved me for my little booty.
And you know, that's just what it was, you know, like, and then, you know, I don't know
how, like I said, I don't know how old Casey's boyfriend is, but I'm assuming he's not that
much older.
He can't handle a BBL, you know, he just likes to look at him.
(30:17):
But, you know, and now in this booty I've got, I'm on the treadmill every night trying
to work it off.
But you know, Toni, it's really hard to lose butt.
It's really hard to lose.
Butt booty is one of those things where it's like you either have it or you don't.
Because you can work out, you can do squats and lunges and all of those leg day exercises.
(30:40):
And I mean, it's just going to get more muscular, whatever you have, you know, and if you have,
it's really not going to get smaller because it's just all in your structure.
You know, it's all in how you're built.
Sometimes I walk past the mirror and I'm like, what the hell is that?
(31:02):
So Casey, just be patient.
It's coming.
Yeah, I mean, and the other thing is too, you know, as you age, you know, your body
changes.
She may decide to have children.
Her body's really going to change then.
And that's the other thing, like don't pay attention to how these Hollywood folks have
kids, you know, and how they snap right back because a lot of times they're not having
(31:25):
the kid.
You know, they'll make you think they’re having a kid.
But you know, Casey, stay in your lane.
Like that's the best advice I could give her is to just stay in her lane and have that
talk with Anthony, have that talk with him and see where his head is.
And like I said too, what's good for the goose is good for the gander.
Start liking some of these, you know, these IG fitness trainers, “fitness trainers”.
(31:52):
Start liking some of their pics.
Start liking some of these NFL players pics, some of these ball players pics.
But anyway, this was fun.
Guys, we even got a little small little mini toy buying guide.
Right in time for the holidays.
Yes.
You know?
And I mean, and here's the thing.
I have to say this because I did make a significant observation.
(32:17):
A lot of you all write in and you just start talking at us with no background.
And Toni, you know where I'm going with this because I always go back to “my husband is
gay, please advise.”
Like just a little bit of background.
Like don't give us too much and Star.
I'm looking at you.
(32:38):
But keep your questions short, like rule of thumb.
I could say like three, like old school, three, four old school to the post.
So if you remember Twitter used to be 140 characters.
So 140 times three, that's like 420.
(32:59):
See you see that?
See what I did?
Okay.
All right.
But Toni, I've been on this math kick today, like with all these different tools here.
I've been oh man it fell, but I've been on this math kick.
I don't know.
But anyway, listen, Haneef, Anonymous with the husband you think is gay and everyone from
our previous Q&A episode, write us back.
(33:22):
We did not forget.
Yes.
Also, cause I really want to know Toni, I gotta know what the hell that lady, why she
thinks that?
I need to know what happened with Haneef.
Listen, Haneef, I'm at the point where Haneef, like, and I don't want to do this because I have his info
(33:42):
I'm really about to just say, Hey, like what's going on?
I don't know.
But either way, Haneef, just check in, write us back.
Let us know how you're doing.
You know, even with therapy, Terrence, who else?
Will, Shidah, Steve, Casey, Kellie, Purr, okay.
(34:03):
All the Anonymous callers.
Toni, I can call them callers, right? Yes.
I mean, technically they wrote in, but I mean, we don't have a phone.
Like there's no phone here.
I'm not giving my number out.
We're not giving out Coach Toni's number.
I mean, well, you could get her number.
It's online, but just don't bother her unless it's, you know, you want to hire her for something.
But anyway, write us back.
(34:24):
Let us know how things are going for you.
And we're going to be doing more of these in the new year.
So get your questions in NOW, because Coach Toni is booked and so am I.
You know what I say every show.
So let everyone know how they could get in touch with you Toni.
(34:46):
www.thekittychronicles.co.
It features my blog, a couple of YouTube videos, things like that.
From that, you can get to Bedroom Kandi, but if you want to get straight to the good stuff,
My Bedroom Kandi site is www.bkparties.com/6109
If you take too long on the site.
(35:07):
You'll probably time out of my specific website.
So just remember ID 6109 and then also follow me on Instagram.
@bedroomkandi_bytoni.
All right.
I know one thing I'm pulling up my screenshots now because I have stuff that I'm gonna
(35:31):
order.
Listen to anyone we didn't get today, we will get you in the new year.
And as always, unless you request otherwise, your questions are anonymous.
I think more people this time understood that because we got a lot more anonymous people
than we did last time.
And you can also use a fake name.
Like that's fine too.
Like Star's name really is Star.
(35:53):
I thought she was using a fake name, but no, her government is Star.
So and I love that.
So good for her.
But Toni, I have to mention your plant in the background because every time we're on,
if you guys watch the videos from see, look at the videos from the past, from March
of this year and also in July, every time we're on that plant gets taller and taller.
(36:18):
Yeah it was a gift, and I'm just trying my hardest to honor this gift and keep it alive.
Yes.
Yes, you know, and it's a money tree.
They don't need a lot of light.
You just need to water them once a week.
No, but there's something in your plant.
I don't know what's in that plant, but I'mma just say this.
(36:40):
Whatever's in that plant, we need to send it to Kellie so she can rub it on her man's dick
So it can grow?
Okay.
All right.
Wait, I got to be serious.
Be smart out there in those Christmas and New Year streets.
The Cris David Show wishes you a safe and happy Holiday season.
Happy Birthday to all of my fellow Capricorns and to everyone.
(37:04):
Happy New Year.
We'll see you right back here in 2024!
Now let's clap it up for our sex-pert.
We can call you the sexpert, right?
That's good.
Clap it up for yourselves for listening and watching.
Tell your friends, tell your mama, tell your daddy, tell your babydaddy, tell your boyfriend,
tell your sister, tell your kittens, tell your bullies, tell your OBGYN, your endocrinologist
(37:29):
and your urologist, tell all the exhibitionists and foot fetishists, tell all the size queens
and virgins to follow us on Instagram @crisdavidtv and follow our show @thecrisdavidshow
on Instagram and YouTube.
You can also visit crisdavidshow.com there you'll find everything you need to know about
the show.
Before we go, your comfort comes first.
(37:53):
Don't compromise your comfort.
You control your orgasms.
Don't invest in anyone who doesn't give you interest.
If someone doesn't love you the way you are, they don't love you.
And you know what else?
They didn't stop making dick when they made his.
They didn't stop making pussy when they made hers.
(38:14):
Okay.
Now be kind, be well, and #talklikesex. Rated X-X-X.
(38:41):
This is Cris David, host of The Cris David Show.
Today marks the 35th annual World AIDS Day, a time when we not only reflect on those we've
lost, but we look at the progress that's been made in HIV/AIDS research.
Leroy was an amazing designer and hairstylist.
(39:02):
He could take any piece of material and make something fabulous out of it.
Leroy was thoughtful and creative and his laugh would light up a room.
Jaci Adams, also known as Bambi, was an activist and one of the kindest souls I've
ever encountered.
Miss Jaci had an incredible sense of humor and was encouraging and uplifting to anyone
(39:24):
she met.
She also had a cussing mouth.
So we got along very well.
One of my earliest memories of my cousin Paul was when
he brought me over this big Christmas present.
I thought it was something electronic, but it ended up being a collection of classic
literature like Treasure Island and The Wind and the Willows.
(39:46):
I remember not appreciating it at first, but then our grandmother told me how important
it was for her to learn to read as an adult.
Thank you, Paul, for encouraging literacy and for always being a kind and supportive
cousin.
We miss you.
(40:08):
Since 2010, new HIV infections have declined by 38% from 2.1 million to 1.3 million in
2022.
AIDS-related deaths have been reduced by 69% since the peak in 2004 and by 51% since 2010.
(40:29):
However, those numbers are still too high and too many people are still being infected.
We can do more.
Take action.
Make a difference.
unaids.org/en/takeaction
It's all about community.
(40:50):
When AIDS affects one of us, AIDS affects us all.
When they want to make money off of stuff.
(00:07):
And like I said on the last show, the solar flares just can't come soon enough. They can’t.
But anyway, Toni, this one is from Steve.
So Steve says, I'm trying to get my new lady into a fetish that I have for doing it out
in the open.
I like fooling around in the park, on the bus and the train, in Uber's and taxis, even
(00:29):
at the movies.
See me and my last jig used to get it in all over the place, up in the dressing room at
Macy's.
And Steve, like I told you before, you better not be on Fulton Street with that shit.
Take that mess to Kings Plaza.
I'm sorry, Toni.
In the rest of my booth, just anywhere we got the urge.
(00:49):
I need some tips on getting my new lady to be more of a freakbody, as you say.
Please help.
Peace, Steve.
Anyway, Steve is 40 and he's from New York.
This one, this one, you know, I tried to be very neutral and, you know, everything for
me is a judgment free zone.
That's my responsibility.
That's my responsibility.
(01:10):
But Steve, come on now.
So I would say if your current partner is more conservative, you can't expect her to
go from zero to a hundred just like that.
You know, especially because your last partner was like that.
So that's, you know, number one, don't compare her to your last partner.
That's extremely unfair to your new lady.
But, you know, I was wondering having communicated to her what you liked.
(01:35):
So I don't know, he didn't mention how long they've been together.
I think he just said his new lady.
But you know how when you're in the talking stage and you kind of, you know, by that third
of what conversation you're talking about, OK, what's your favorite sexual position or
things like that.
Like, did you have a conversation, Steve, that you like it like really, really freaky,
(01:56):
that you like doing it outdoors is almost a requirement to be satisfied.
Like, did you have that communication?
So I think that is something that if you didn't have a conversation about, you might want
to have it sooner rather than later.
If you did have a conversation, you know, I'm curious to know like how receptive she
(02:18):
was.
You know, if it's not her thing, then, you know, that technically, Steve, is still on
you because you pursued her.
But more importantly, to answer your question.
So first thing, I would at least start with a level three because you're at a hundred.
You're expecting her to be at a hundred already, Steve.
So start at level three at least.
Go to the movies.
(02:39):
Start off touching each other to see where that goes.
What I will say is don't go to the movies with the sole purpose of wanting to get busy
in a theater because it's going to come off as you just using her to get your rocks off.
So I don't want it to be a situation where you're just trying to any woman that you be
with, you're trying to just go places to have sex and you're not investing in the relationship.
(03:03):
So do things like that.
Make her feel comfortable.
That's the most important thing because you can't expect somebody to be out in the middle
of the park giving you head and she's not comfortable and feeling like she's in a safe
space.
So I think Steve, I don't know how it initiated with a previous person that you were with
If she was already on a hundred when you met her.
(03:24):
But with this new person, don't compare her to your first relationship.
You have to start from square one, make sure the communication is open and make sure she
is in a safe and trusting space.
I think that's the most important thing, but definitely have that communication with her,
but don't expect her to hop on a flight and give you head next to the lady who's in the
(03:45):
third seat.
Like that's a little bit unrealistic.
So just, I don't want to say lower your expectations, but I will say just be realistic.
And you know Steve, you have to like, like, um, um, our Men's Panel, you know, we talked about this one
and you know, you have to ease people into kinks.
(04:08):
You can't just expect them to just be ready to just dive right into something that you've
been doing a long time.
Like you have to communicate.
You have to, you know, kind of warm them up to that type of thing.
Steve, my thing is this, don't get caught!
You and your lady could end up on a sex offender registry.
(04:29):
So chill out.
You know what Steve, like I told you in the other video, be assertive and effective because
assertive and effective communication is key.
Be direct and Toni, I don't know.
There's a lot of exhibitionism these days.
I don't know what it is.
(04:50):
Maybe it's the stock market or something.
I don't know.
So next we have Anonymous from Ohio and she writes, my husband has ED also known as erectile
dysfunction.
He tried those mints they sell on television called Hims, but it's not working for him.
Do you have any suggestions?
We have been together 27 years and we have two kids and five grandkids.
(05:14):
I love him dearly and I want him to get it up so we can do like we used to do back in
the day before the kids.
She sounds like a fun lady, Toni.
Seriously.
See guys, this is what you guys should aspire for.
You know, 27 years they've been together.
But Toni, what should Anonymous do?
(05:35):
Yes.
So hi Anonymous.
Firstly, congratulations on 27 years of marriage because that is amazing.
So erectile dysfunction, it involves abnormalities in the penile arteries, the veins or both.
And this is especially in older men.
So when the problem is arterial, it's usually caused by something called arteriosclerosis
(06:00):
or hardening of arteries, although trauma in the arteries can be caused.
So first things first, I would suggest seeing a doctor just to further assess why your husband
is experiencing ED.
So you know, by just taking a mint, you know, that you got where you saw on TV is definitely
not going to treat the underlying cause.
So that is the most important thing is you definitely always want to see a doctor because
(06:25):
it can be due to a number of things.
It could be smoking, being overweight, a medical condition, alcohol or drug use.
And sometimes it's just not being physically active.
You know, and I know, like since the pandemic started, a lot of our lifestyles have changed.
So for me, you know, I've been working from home for three years.
So this is like literally the laziest I've ever been in my life.
(06:49):
So it's just a number of things.
A lot of people have become physically inactive and not because of laziness, just because
of circumstances.
So before starting something like that, you know, definitely make some lifestyle changes
and then, you know, see if that could help.
But that's after speaking to a doctor.
As far as the intimacy front goes, I would suggest things like sensual massages, using
(07:13):
cock rings.
So just, I have visuals for this question.
Ooh nice!
So as far as cock rings go, what a cock ring does
is it prolongs ejaculation.
So this one here, this is actually a couples toy.
So hopefully you can see it, right?
This is called R&B, like Rhythm and Blues R&B.
(07:37):
So the way this works as far as the cock ring goes, you're going to grab a little bit of
lube here and slide it onto the base of the penis.
And then what it does is it's going to prolong ejaculation.
So if you do have instances where he is able to get an erection, definitely consider using
a cock ring.
We don't sell them where it's just the ring, you know, that you can just quickly throw
(08:02):
on.
But this one, like I said, it's a couples one.
So while this is on the penis, there's a little button here because this is a bullet and these
will hit, these little bunny ears will hit the clitoris.
So as you're thrusting, you're both feeling a slight sensation.
But the more important thing is it's prolonging ejaculation for him.
(08:22):
So you get a 2-for-1 on this one, because if you don't want to use it with a penis,
like you and your partner can have foreplay, he can use this on you.
So this is our version of a bullet.
Okay.
And it is USB chargeable.
And so you're going to hold this a little button right here, you're going to hold that
button down for about four seconds.
(08:44):
And it's vibrating.
So your husband can, you know, rub this on your clitoris while giving massage, he can
rub this on the nipples.
So that's where that intimacy and sensual massages come in.
This has multiple speeds.
So you can do something like that.
We have another one, which is pretty much the exact same concept.
(09:04):
And this one is called Rise & Shine.
So if you feel like this one might be a little too small or it’s stripping, it does actually stretch.
Rise & Shine is a little more stretchy.
So I'm going to pull out our friend again, right?
So this goes, like I said, the base of the penis all the way down here.
(09:28):
So once this is squeezed, it helps to prolong ejaculation.
Right.
And like I said, it helps to put lube on it just so that it doesn't pull hairs or make
him uncomfortable.
Okay.
So I would suggest something like that, you know, if he does experience moments where
he is able to get an or experience an erection, you know, like I said, it's going to help
(09:53):
prolong the ejaculation.
We also have a spray, it's called Stamina-Male and Stamina-Male is a prolonging spray.
So you know, put this on the penis and it prolongs the ejaculation.
So that's something that I would consider as well.
Also as far as like the foreplay front, we have these cards.
So we have a lot of things for not necessarily intercourse, but we have foreplay things as
(10:17):
well.
So this game is a card game is called Delicious Encounters.
And it's basically like an oral sex game.
So it has, let's see, it's of course, 50 different foreplay and oral sex positions.
It contains 25 oral sex cards for him and 25 for her.
(10:43):
So you can, you know, use these something like these and, you know, continue with intimacy
and, you know, keeping it fresh like you did before the kids.
Also I wanted to talk about foods as well.
And for this, I did a little research.
So I want to read a couple of things.
There are foods that would also help.
(11:06):
You know, so this is basically nine foods that can help keep a stronger erection or
help sustain an erection.
This is from the men's, from the Proactive Men's Medical Center.
They're actually based in Cincinnati, Ohio.
And so the first one being watermelon, it’s good for good erection because it dilates and relaxes
(11:28):
blood vessels, making it easier for blood flow to the penis.
So the next one is spinach and other leafy greens.
And spinach is high in nitric acid and therefore like other hard erection foods helps arteries
expand and fill up with blood.
Next one is coffee.
(11:49):
So coffee is good for penis growth.
I'm not quoting that, but I'm just reading from this article here.
But basically because coffee has caffeine in it, caffeine is an effective penis food
because it relaxes the smooth muscles of the penis, paving the way for blood to fill up.
Next we have dark chocolate.
(12:11):
So you know, dark chocolate is a top food for strong erection because it's packed with
flavonoids, which make it easier for blood flow through the body.
However, because dark chocolate is also often high in sugar and fat, eating too much can
help gain weight.
So remember earlier when I mentioned that one of the causes could be because of, you
(12:35):
know, overweight.
So you just, you know, might want to be a little mindful when it comes to dark chocolate.
An ounce of dark chocolate has 155 calories and nine grams of fat.
So just, it might not be the healthiest of foods to choose from when helping, you know,
consider erection.
Next is salmon.
Everybody loves salmon.
Salmon is one of the best foods to help get erect because it's rich in vitamin D. Vitamin
(13:00):
D has been shown to help prevent endothelial dysfunction, which is when your arteries,
blood vessels, and organs aren't able to properly circulate blood.
Next we have pistachios.
So pistachios are packed with something called arginine.
The arginine encourages the production of nitric acid, which in turn helps regulate
(13:22):
blood flow to the penis and other parts of the body.
We also have almonds, walnuts, and other nuts because they are rich in high density lipoprotein.
Next is orange and blueberries.
So although oranges and blueberries seem to have little in common with dark chocolate,
they share one important trait, which is the flavonoids.
(13:46):
So this makes them one of the best foods for erectile dysfunction.
Flavonoids encourage the blood flow, which allows the penis to become engorged after it’s stimulated
And then the last one, number nine, is spicy hot foods.
So thanks to Capsaicin, which is found in hot peppers, a little hot sauce or a little
(14:07):
habañero on the side may help with getting an erection.
So like I said, this was, you know, I did a little bit of research.
This was something, an article from the Proactive Men's Medical Center.
But then, you know, lastly, overall, it's just so important to keep intimacy, you know,
even if it doesn't involve penetration.
(14:30):
So you know, touching, massaging, you know, that's a great route to experiencing intimacy
when you're, you know, when erectile dysfunction is involved.
And also, one thing that I would say is just important to talk to your husband so that
he doesn't feel pressured to get an erection.
Because if you don't have that conversation with him, every time you go to massage him
(14:54):
or just touch his body, he might think, okay, she's wanting this to result in penetration.
And it might just be you wanting that intimacy aspect of it.
So just assure, you know, assure him tonight is just a couple's massage night, you know,
or tonight might be a night that we play this oral sex game, something like that.
(15:15):
But have a conversation.
But more importantly, I highly recommend and encourage him to see a doctor just to determine
what the underlying cause is of his ED.
What I do want to suggest though, he does is get his testosterone checked out.
(15:35):
Also Estradiol and SHBG, it's called sex hormone binding, sex hormone binding globulin.
He can do all of that in endocrinologists or at a men's wellness clinic.
And once the labs come back, you know, the doctor may suggest TRT, testosterone replacement
(15:58):
therapy, or something lighter like, like Cialis or Viagra.
I mean, they're even studies out on this drug called Toremifene, and it's a cancer drug.
But they show that people get improvement, you know, with testosterone production when
they take it in certain doses.
But however, I am not a medical professional.
(16:20):
So please consult with, you know, an endocrinologist or urologist or your primary and write us
back and let us know how everything goes.
And congratulations on making 27 years of marriage.
And also, you know what, because you know, Toni, you know I'm nosy.
I want to, we want to know how you two met, you know, all those years ago.
(16:41):
But Toni, next up we have Shidah.
And Shidah's 35 and she's from Philly.
So Shidah says, Hi, Cris, David and Coach Toni, I have a problem orgasming without having
the music on.
And my husband absolutely hates it.
What can I do?
Okay, so hi, Shidah.
(17:03):
So at first I was wondering, what is the root cause of not being able to orgasm without
the music playing?
And without knowing that my first instinct was to just suggest speaking with a therapist.
But what I will say is, as far as working, you know, with your husband, you both have
(17:24):
to get on the same page.
So I don't think that music is the worst thing in the world.
But sometimes a little spontaneity goes a long way without having to get up and set
up a playlist and you know, things like that.
So in the meantime, maybe you both can compromise.
Start off with turning the music down a little bit lower.
So I don't know if his gripe is the music blasting.
Maybe you can turn the music down, you know, and then the next time make it go lower and
(17:49):
then a little bit lower.
And then just keep trying until you can both get on, you know, a meeting ground.
But also, I would definitely recommend that you meet him in the middle and periodically
practice doing it with the music off.
You know, and if that means you've got to switch it up and introduce a couple's toy
just to, you know, give you some added distraction to help you to orgasm, then, you know, go for
(18:14):
it.
But you're not going to have a situation where 100% of the time you're going to have to be
able to get up and get music on.
That's very unrealistic.
But meet your husband in the middle.
You know, if he has an issue with the music, obviously there's a reason why you both need
to talk about it.
And here we go with the communication thing again.
(18:34):
Like a lot of these instances can be resolved or handled if you both communicate it, like
why you need music and why he hates the music.
Is it the type of music?
Like are you rocking heavy metal while you two are, you know, getting busy?
So I would just say start by practicing to lower the music a little bit lower, a little
(18:58):
bit lower until it's very low and potentially off.
But then in the meantime, you also have to give him a bone and turn it off sometimes
and see, you know, how you two can work and kind of meet on a middle ground.
And you know, Toni, I wonder if it's the radio because the radio can be jarring, you know,
(19:20):
with all of the ads and the differences in like audio processing.
I don't know.
I'm a nerd when it comes to stuff like that, but I wonder if that's what it is.
Another thing I was thinking, maybe you two can cultivate your own playlist of like your
wedding song, provided you all had a reception and things like that.
(19:41):
Or, you know, the song that you two really like, but just work together to cultivate
a playlist that belongs to just you two.
And maybe something like that would help.
But in the meantime, I would still suggest, you know, trying to work with your husband
and switching it up a bit and trying without the music and maybe adding something else
(20:01):
enhance that experience.
Shidah, and also other people who've written, write us back.
And if you're, you know, a new person writing us, let us know your marital status.
Let us know how long you've been with your partner or whoever you're with.
(20:21):
And that's, you know, just really it.
That's what we want to know because that helps us with, you know, answering these questions
for you all.
Toni, we have this new segment on the show.
It's called It's Giving.
And I don't know, like Shidah's just giving serial killer with the radio turned all the
way up.
Like, I mean, Shidah, do you sleep with it on too?
(20:42):
Like I'm just joking, Shidah.
Shidah, I'm just, you know me.
You know I joke.
But write us back and everyone write us back.
Okay.
Toni, do we have time for a few more?
Yes, we do.
All right.
Okay.
So this next one comes from Will.
Will's 56 and he's from California.
(21:03):
Will says, I have an active lifestyle, so I play often.
Recently I've been taking this new medication and I noticed that it takes me too long to
ejaculate.
I have spoken with my physician about it and he says it should wear off with time.
Can I do anything in the meantime?
Thanks, Will.
Yeah.
So with this one, first of all, hi Will.
(21:26):
I don't know if that's the only advice that your doctor gave you or if, you know, he gave
you additional feedback and this is like a condensed version of what you're trying to
Relay to us.
But if that's the only thing he said, then I would definitely try to seek an opinion
from another physician.
Now, delayed ejaculation, it does depend on a number of things.
In this case, you gave us the reason, which is your new medication.
(21:49):
So and then just in my research, what I noticed is that a lot of medications that were on
the list of reasons for delayed ejaculation are potentially medications that you would
have to likely be on for the long term.
So I'm not sure if that's your situation and that's your business.
(22:11):
And so of course, I'm not a medical doctor, but I would suggest that you talk to your
doctor about maybe revisiting the dosage to see if that could maybe help.
But delayed ejaculation can be either temporary or a lifelong problem.
So you know, one thing that stuck out to me was that the complications or one of the complications
(22:34):
can be diminished sexual pleasure.
So I would just recommend going back to your doctor simply because unfortunately, I don't
have a lot of information to give you on this simply because I feel like it's the responsibility
is partly in your doctor's hand instead of saying, oh, it's kind of wear off over time.
Because what does that mean?
What is over time?
(22:54):
Is that in two weeks, two months, nine months?
Like you want to be comfortable when you're experiencing intimacy and you don't want,
of course, your sexual pleasure to diminish over it.
So I would say talk again to your doctor.
And if your doctor isn't receptive to that, then maybe consider talking to another doctor.
(23:17):
But you just want to get specifics on what it is that you can do.
Can you reduce the dosage?
Is there like another version of that medication that you can take?
So that's just something that's important.
I feel like I didn't really give like a whole bunch of information.
And I want to try to likely simply because I'm not a doctor and this involves your medication.
(23:38):
But just in doing my research, you've kind of like pinpointed for us the exact reason
why it's happening, which is the medication.
So yeah, I would say that.
Will, thanks for writing us and definitely take Coach Toni's advice.
Check into what I suggested for Anonymous who has been married for 27 years, her husband.
(24:00):
And you know, Toni it’s funny.
It's something I noticed about Will and the Anonymous from 27 years.
Like I can tell that they're older by how they space their sentences.
Like I'm thinking like when they learned how to type, they probably learned how to type
on typewriters.
Like me and you did.
(24:22):
Because we're good and grown.
We're good and grown.
That was really cool, but see you kids missed out.
And you know what else, Toni?
Remember you used to have to have the Wite-Out handy in case you made a mistake?
Of course.
Yeah.
See the kids, they really missed out.
Like they don't even learn cursive anymore. I know.
I mean, they barely know how to use a ruler.
(24:45):
Right.
I mean, seriously.
But Toni, are you in the mood for one more?
Yes, let's take one more.
Okay.
So this one comes from Terrence.
Terrence is 28 from Philly.
Hi, my name is Terrence and I'm 28 years old.
I have a foot fetish, but I can't tell my wife because she might leave me.
(25:06):
Hold up.
Terrence Howard?
I had to.
Remember? I had to.
I had to because remember his character in The Best Man, liked the feet. The character Quentin.
But anyway, take it away, Toni.
So I don't see an issue with having a foot fetish unless you're leaving out a significant
part of the story.
So like, have you done anything that was disrespectful to your wife involving your fetish?
(25:30):
Are you entertaining other people's feet?
You know, that don't belong to your wife?
I mean, talk to your wife.
She might like it as long as you're giving her feet the attention and not to someone
else.
Like I really don't see a problem with that.
She might like the added attention to her feet.
But I really don't think this is a fetish or something that's worthy of being left for.
(25:53):
So you could just be panicking like, oh, my wife might not like me because I never told her
about this.
But it's never too late to open up those lines of communication.
Just have a conversation.
And it's not even a difficult conversation.
It really isn't.
So just speak to your wife.
Let her know what it is you like, maybe why you like it.
(26:13):
And then just incorporate that into your intimacy.
And, you know, Terrence, I hope you and your wife, Shelby.
No, I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
But I hope your wife isn't that petty to just leave you over that.
I mean, we got men staying with women out here who got pregnant during their marriage.
You know what I'm saying?
I mean, come on.
(26:34):
I highly doubt that she'll leave you.
But I mean, I could be wrong.
You know, just like I'm still trying to hold on to faith that Casey isn't going to go run
and get a BBL.
But I don't know, Toni.
I don't know.
So Jahmel from last season, he followed up with us.
He remember he wanted to get his girlfriend to try anal on him.
(26:57):
And Jahmel is 37.
He's from Long Island.
And he writes, me and my girl are Black.
She's a little bit younger than me, but we are around the same age.
Okay.
I got her to do it because you said there were health benefits.
She thought I was lying, but she watched for herself.
Well, yes.
(27:17):
Yeah.
Like, you know, just do your research on prostate massage and, you know, things of that nature.
But, you know, Jahmel, I'm very glad that you are comfortable enough to have that conversation
with your girlfriend.
And I'm glad that it worked out.
Congratulations, Jahmel.
I mean, I'm glad we were able to open you up to a whole new world.
(27:38):
But anyway, Coach, I'm a mess.
I'm in trouble.
Coach Toni, are there any takeaways from these folks today?
The most important thing is always going to be communication.
A lot of our questions that we answer or, you know, talk about can be solved by just
having open lines of communication with our partners.
(28:01):
So that's probably the biggest takeaway today.
And I'll probably always, you know, and we all can use improvement on our communication
skills, even me.
You know, there's some times where I want to like get upset with my husband, but then
I'm like, I've got to check myself like, wait, you didn't specifically say this, that, and
the third one.
(28:21):
You didn't communicate needed it now or something like that.
So communication is always important, keeping those lines of communication open, but just
also be self-aware of what it is that you shared, you know, with your partner and the
ramifications of not sharing certain things.
Absolutely.
And yeah, because Toni is a Leo, everyone, you know, they're ready to...
(28:45):
Okay.
Exactly.
No, Toni's a sweetheart.
Toni's a sweetheart.
But Toni, you know what's crazy?
I read this article about this woman, and I don't even know if the article was real.
It could have been one of those like Wattpad articles, but she said that she divorced her
husband because she found out he won a bet to take her virginity.
(29:10):
Oh wow, that's terrible.
Yeah, I would divorce too.
I wonder how long they were married?
I don't even know if it was real
because it was on like
this sketchy website.
You know, I read everything.
You know, I, you know me.
I'm a sponge.
But speaking of bets, though, I'm willing to bet that Casey gets that BBL.
(29:34):
I hope not.
I hope she don't.
I hope she doesn't.
But I mean, she's 21, you know, like these, these again, it’s Gen Z, like they're out
here just yolo-ing.
You know, but when I was 21, I was in a relationship.
This guy, he called me at midnight on my 21st birthday, and we were together for a couple
(29:55):
of years and we were even engaged and I was tiny.
And he loved me for my little booty.
And you know, that's just what it was, you know, like, and then, you know, I don't know
how, like I said, I don't know how old Casey's boyfriend is, but I'm assuming he's not that
much older.
He can't handle a BBL, you know, he just likes to look at him.
(30:17):
But, you know, and now in this booty I've got, I'm on the treadmill every night trying
to work it off.
But you know, Toni, it's really hard to lose butt.
It's really hard to lose.
Butt booty is one of those things where it's like you either have it or you don't.
Because you can work out, you can do squats and lunges and all of those leg day exercises.
(30:40):
And I mean, it's just going to get more muscular, whatever you have, you know, and if you have,
it's really not going to get smaller because it's just all in your structure.
You know, it's all in how you're built.
Sometimes I walk past the mirror and I'm like, what the hell is that?
(31:02):
So Casey, just be patient.
It's coming.
Yeah, I mean, and the other thing is too, you know, as you age, you know, your body
changes.
She may decide to have children.
Her body's really going to change then.
And that's the other thing, like don't pay attention to how these Hollywood folks have
kids, you know, and how they snap right back because a lot of times they're not having
(31:25):
the kid.
You know, they'll make you think they’re having a kid.
But you know, Casey, stay in your lane.
Like that's the best advice I could give her is to just stay in her lane and have that
talk with Anthony, have that talk with him and see where his head is.
And like I said too, what's good for the goose is good for the gander.
Start liking some of these, you know, these IG fitness trainers, “fitness trainers”.
(31:52):
Start liking some of their pics.
Start liking some of these NFL players pics, some of these ball players pics.
But anyway, this was fun.
Guys, we even got a little small little mini toy buying guide.
Right in time for the holidays.
Yes.
You know?
And I mean, and here's the thing.
I have to say this because I did make a significant observation.
(32:17):
A lot of you all write in and you just start talking at us with no background.
And Toni, you know where I'm going with this because I always go back to “my husband is
gay, please advise.”
Like just a little bit of background.
Like don't give us too much and Star.
I'm looking at you.
(32:38):
But keep your questions short, like rule of thumb.
I could say like three, like old school, three, four old school to the post.
So if you remember Twitter used to be 140 characters.
So 140 times three, that's like 420.
(32:59):
See you see that?
See what I did?
Okay.
All right.
But Toni, I've been on this math kick today, like with all these different tools here.
I've been oh man it fell, but I've been on this math kick.
I don't know.
But anyway, listen, Haneef, Anonymous with the husband you think is gay and everyone from
our previous Q&A episode, write us back.
(33:22):
We did not forget.
Yes.
Also, cause I really want to know Toni, I gotta know what the hell that lady, why she
thinks that?
I need to know what happened with Haneef.
Listen, Haneef, I'm at the point where Haneef, like, and I don't want to do this because I have his info
(33:42):
I'm really about to just say, Hey, like what's going on?
I don't know.
But either way, Haneef, just check in, write us back.
Let us know how you're doing.
You know, even with therapy, Terrence, who else?
Will, Shidah, Steve, Casey, Kellie, Purr, okay.
(34:03):
All the Anonymous callers.
Toni, I can call them callers, right? Yes.
I mean, technically they wrote in, but I mean, we don't have a phone.
Like there's no phone here.
I'm not giving my number out.
We're not giving out Coach Toni's number.
I mean, well, you could get her number.
It's online, but just don't bother her unless it's, you know, you want to hire her for something.
But anyway, write us back.
(34:24):
Let us know how things are going for you.
And we're going to be doing more of these in the new year.
So get your questions in NOW, because Coach Toni is booked and so am I.
You know what I say every show.
So let everyone know how they could get in touch with you Toni.
(34:46):
www.thekittychronicles.co.
It features my blog, a couple of YouTube videos, things like that.
From that, you can get to Bedroom Kandi, but if you want to get straight to the good stuff,
My Bedroom Kandi site is www.bkparties.com/6109
If you take too long on the site.
(35:07):
You'll probably time out of my specific website.
So just remember ID 6109 and then also follow me on Instagram.
@bedroomkandi_bytoni.
All right.
I know one thing I'm pulling up my screenshots now because I have stuff that I'm gonna
(35:31):
order.
Listen to anyone we didn't get today, we will get you in the new year.
And as always, unless you request otherwise, your questions are anonymous.
I think more people this time understood that because we got a lot more anonymous people
than we did last time.
And you can also use a fake name.
Like that's fine too.
Like Star's name really is Star.
(35:53):
I thought she was using a fake name, but no, her government is Star.
So and I love that.
So good for her.
But Toni, I have to mention your plant in the background because every time we're on,
if you guys watch the videos from see, look at the videos from the past, from March
of this year and also in July, every time we're on that plant gets taller and taller.
(36:18):
Yeah it was a gift, and I'm just trying my hardest to honor this gift and keep it alive.
Yes.
Yes, you know, and it's a money tree.
They don't need a lot of light.
You just need to water them once a week.
No, but there's something in your plant.
I don't know what's in that plant, but I'mma just say this.
(36:40):
Whatever's in that plant, we need to send it to Kellie so she can rub it on her man's dick
So it can grow?
Okay.
All right.
Wait, I got to be serious.
Be smart out there in those Christmas and New Year streets.
The Cris David Show wishes you a safe and happy Holiday season.
Happy Birthday to all of my fellow Capricorns and to everyone.
(37:04):
Happy New Year.
We'll see you right back here in 2024!
Now let's clap it up for our sex-pert.
We can call you the sexpert, right?
That's good.
Clap it up for yourselves for listening and watching.
Tell your friends, tell your mama, tell your daddy, tell your babydaddy, tell your boyfriend,
tell your sister, tell your kittens, tell your bullies, tell your OBGYN, your endocrinologist
(37:29):
and your urologist, tell all the exhibitionists and foot fetishists, tell all the size queens
and virgins to follow us on Instagram @crisdavidtv and follow our show @thecrisdavidshow
on Instagram and YouTube.
You can also visit crisdavidshow.com there you'll find everything you need to know about
the show.
Before we go, your comfort comes first.
(37:53):
Don't compromise your comfort.
You control your orgasms.
Don't invest in anyone who doesn't give you interest.
If someone doesn't love you the way you are, they don't love you.
And you know what else?
They didn't stop making dick when they made his.
They didn't stop making pussy when they made hers.
(38:14):
Okay.
Now be kind, be well, and #talklikesex. Rated X-X-X.
(38:41):
This is Cris David, host of The Cris David Show.
Today marks the 35th annual World AIDS Day, a time when we not only reflect on those we've
lost, but we look at the progress that's been made in HIV/AIDS research.
Leroy was an amazing designer and hairstylist.
(39:02):
He could take any piece of material and make something fabulous out of it.
Leroy was thoughtful and creative and his laugh would light up a room.
Jaci Adams, also known as Bambi, was an activist and one of the kindest souls I've
ever encountered.
Miss Jaci had an incredible sense of humor and was encouraging and uplifting to anyone
(39:24):
she met.
She also had a cussing mouth.
So we got along very well.
One of my earliest memories of my cousin Paul was when
he brought me over this big Christmas present.
I thought it was something electronic, but it ended up being a collection of classic
literature like Treasure Island and The Wind and the Willows.
(39:46):
I remember not appreciating it at first, but then our grandmother told me how important
it was for her to learn to read as an adult.
Thank you, Paul, for encouraging literacy and for always being a kind and supportive
cousin.
We miss you.
(40:08):
Since 2010, new HIV infections have declined by 38% from 2.1 million to 1.3 million in
2022.
AIDS-related deaths have been reduced by 69% since the peak in 2004 and by 51% since 2010.
(40:29):
However, those numbers are still too high and too many people are still being infected.
We can do more.
Take action.
Make a difference.
unaids.org/en/takeaction
It's all about community.
(40:50):
When AIDS affects one of us, AIDS affects us all.
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