BONUS: We Live!

The FBI's pursuit is heating up, so we gotta book our next Airbnb/safehouse. While we strategize, let's introduce you to a fave podcast of ours, 'We Live!'
Regina and Deez, isolated in a Pacific Northwest lighthouse, bring laughter to a zombie-ridden world. And in a twist of fate, they've interviewed "The Crossing Guard Tapes" creator, Jim Waters. Amidst their zany calls and doomed guests, Jim's revelations about "The Crossing Guard Tapes" shine through!

Came back here 'cause you finished the episode and you're hungry for more "We Live!"? Head over and subscribe!

Tell 'em Jim sent ya!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is a test.
This is only a test.

Speaker 4 (00:20):
In a world where cities are playgrounds and
playgrounds are arenas, wherearenas are battlegrounds and
battlegrounds are sectioned intostreets and streets are
bisected by school crosswalksand school cross Stop it.

Speaker 5 (00:35):
Hello, is anybody there?

Speaker 4 (00:44):
The Crossing Guard Tapes.

Speaker 6 (00:46):
Ooh, I don't know how that happened.
I don't know if it's the AuroraBorealis or what's going on
today, but that was actually thetrailer for the new podcast,
the Crossing Guard Tapes.
It's phenomenal.
We're actually going to betalking with its creators later
in the show, but something isnot right today.
Nonetheless, it is six o'clockin the morning.

(01:10):
Welcome to the.
We Live Zombie Carnival.
Gina, I'm a little.
I'm a little worried.
There's a lot of crazinessgoing on right now.
There's an all-star game.
Just the world's on fire.
You know, I'm just, I'm realworried.

Speaker 7 (01:33):
Joe, I know you're scared and in times of fright we
turn to our good friend, thehead of the CDC, dr Ricci.

Speaker 6 (01:41):
Dr Ricci on the phone .
Hey, Dr Ricci, how are you?

Speaker 7 (01:46):
So where are we at with the serum?
I know you were had a bigannouncement before.

Speaker 8 (01:51):
Yes, thank you for having me.
I appreciate the time.
It's very important.
I've made some greatbreakthroughs and it involves
animal DNA.

Speaker 6 (02:01):
We've got a phone caller.
We've got a phone caller.
This is fascinating Caller.
Are you there?

Speaker 9 (02:07):
Hey there, hey there, hold her, oh boy, hey hey, long
time listener, second timecaller.

Speaker 6 (02:16):
You're one of those, huh, so what can we help you
with?

Speaker 9 (02:23):
You know, I just so.
I saw this girl on the bus theother day.
We were, we were going uptown.
You know, normally I'm goingdowntown, If you know what I
mean.
Yeah, but you know, I saw thisgirl and I just feel like she
doesn't know I exist, Cause atno point on the bus did she look
at me.
But I just I wanted to know howdo I find her again and get her

(02:47):
to actually look in mydirection, Cause I think once we
make eye contact, that that'swhen the sparks will fly.
Also, the the electricity fromthe pipes that are wires are
falling down, those sparks willalso fly.
But you know, really I'mlooking for the girl.

Speaker 6 (03:02):
So so you're calling for relationship advice, aren't
you?

Speaker 7 (03:06):
Again yes.

Speaker 6 (03:09):
So you think?
You think Dr Ricci is a lovedoctor is what's happening?

Speaker 9 (03:13):
Well, I mean, you ever seen the man?
I mean women must go crazy forhim.
He's got to be the doctor oflove.

Speaker 6 (03:21):
Dr Dr Ricci.

Speaker 7 (03:22):
Right, do you have an answer?
Oh God, oh God, oh Okay, sothat guy clearly doesn't get the
Dr Ricci's a real doctor.

Speaker 6 (03:39):
He thinks he's a relationship doctor.
He called before, didn't he?

Speaker 7 (03:43):
I think so.
I think it's the same guy andthat's pretty desperate.

Speaker 6 (03:46):
That guy's got, doesn't he have just like a,
like a four?
I can't place it, but I feellike I've heard that voice
before I know.

Speaker 7 (03:53):
I feel like he's somebody we've met at some point
, but I don't know where thatwould be, because we're on an
island alone.

Speaker 6 (04:00):
Nonetheless, Gina, you have a guest for us.

Speaker 7 (04:04):
Yes, I found that you remember that lady with the
viral video with the rat.
Yep, yep, that lady.

Speaker 6 (04:13):
I got her.

Speaker 7 (04:14):
Erin Lane.

Speaker 6 (04:15):
Erin Lane, that's it.
I got her.
She's gone viral and sheactually doesn't have the virus,
which is really fascinating.

Speaker 7 (04:24):
It's pretty crazy.
So we've got her on the phoneand I want to.
I want to kind of pick herbrain and see what the hell's
going on there.

Speaker 6 (04:31):
Let's do it.
Erin, are you there?

Speaker 7 (04:35):
Erin, how the heck are you Hi, hi.

Speaker 10 (04:40):
So this is the infamous.

Speaker 6 (04:40):
Erin Lane.

Speaker 10 (04:42):
I'm alive yeah.

Speaker 6 (04:44):
You're gonna be very good at that, nick.

Speaker 10 (04:47):
Yeah, well, you know , I don't, I don't really know
why, Like it's not, like I don'twant to die the irony this shit
is crazy.
You know, yeah, yeah, Like Idon't even know if I'm safe,
like right now.

Speaker 6 (05:08):
Where are you right now?

Speaker 10 (05:10):
I'm in a cave.
Okay, well, it's more like ahole, but I call it a thing
Cause it makes it feel more likea home.

Speaker 6 (05:20):
Oh.

Speaker 10 (05:21):
Oh, erin, yeah, no, I carved my name in the wall and
now I feel like I've got apicture I'm decorating.

Speaker 6 (05:30):
Do you have any pets?

Speaker 10 (05:32):
Well, no, Well, I got Michael, but I wouldn't call
him a pet.
You know Michael's more of likemy friend.
What is my?

Speaker 6 (05:40):
rat A rat.

Speaker 7 (05:42):
Oh yes, I mean, will you ever eat, michael, if need
be?

Speaker 10 (05:47):
Oh no, I can't eat Michael.
He's her best friend, well that, and I'm pretty sure he's a rat
zombie, oh no, well, that's oneof the clues.
You know, I've been kind ofthinking about it and you know,
kind of makes me wonder likecause.
You know, I'm still here andI'm like I'm not even like
trying anymore.

(06:09):
I'm like I, I, I gave a whileago, you know, and like now it's
just kind of like I just walkand see what happens, but, um,
like I don't know, the world wason fire and then it went to
shit and then we started eatingeach other, not just the rich,
like that was the plan.

(06:30):
Then it was everybody,everybody.
I mean how, how are you guyslike?
I mean, how are you guys Like,how are you guys?

Speaker 6 (06:43):
We're safe.
We're safe on our islandlighthouse.

Speaker 10 (06:46):
That must be nice If you ever make it here, aaron we
got a room for you, but youguys hide the directions.

Speaker 6 (06:55):
That's true.
We do just say a specificlittle code.

Speaker 10 (07:00):
You leave on the trees.
I don't understand that, Likeyou, are one of the lives of
people living in Canada.
Mammalhaha HIRS it doesn't looklike they're hyped up a lot in
man Jesús.
I think you know, so Germany iscoming to life.

Speaker 6 (07:17):
There's a lot, a lot.

Speaker 10 (07:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (07:21):
What else?

Speaker 10 (07:21):
does this mean like I'mọnVia and?
But you know, yeah.

Speaker 7 (07:29):
What else does that mean?
Like I have a unbelief forstress.

Speaker 6 (07:33):
The country are you in right now.
Do you know?

Speaker 10 (07:36):
I don't even I think I might be in Canada, because
you know they don't make thatborder very clear, and I know I
was walking north for a while insome trees, or it could have
been south, I mean it could bein Mexico, but you know the
zombies turned everybody white,so I don't really know where I

(07:56):
am so tell us about how you, howyou got to be just so
despondent.

Speaker 6 (08:10):
What, yeah, what happened?

Speaker 10 (08:11):
Well, you know, in zombies first attacks right me
and my friends, we were playingDungeons and Dragons.
We were playing in my friend'sgarage and it was a neighborhood
where there weren't you know,not a lot of people walking
around in the neighborhood,except for this none.
There was always none whowalked.
We never knew where she lived,but one day this none was

(08:35):
walking right at her.
So non-nony type, and all of asudden there were all of these
people Running after the nun,you'd see, worried about it, and
then the people startedattacking the nun.
People like, well, should weroll for it?

(08:58):
I was like I don't know, I'monly going if I get a nat 20.

Speaker 3 (09:03):
Oh.

Speaker 10 (09:05):
Well, I rolled and I got a nat 20.

Speaker 1 (09:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 10 (09:09):
And so I had to go save the yeah the nun.

Speaker 6 (09:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 10 (09:14):
I got there and the zombies just looked at me and
ran away.

Speaker 6 (09:19):
Oh my god, I'll reject it.
By zombies, that's awful.

Speaker 10 (09:23):
Well, I don't know, I'm super power.
Now, right like we need tofigure out what the rules are on
it.
Only one who seems to have it.

Speaker 6 (09:34):
So far nobody.

Speaker 10 (09:37):
Nobody else had it because they ran away from me
and then they ran into thegarage and I don't think anyone
else rolled in that 20.
Did you go back?

Speaker 6 (09:48):
into the garage.

Speaker 10 (09:49):
No Good decision.
I think that's a good?
Not at all.

Speaker 7 (09:53):
No, schrodinger's box , they're still alive half.

Speaker 10 (09:57):
No, that cat's fucking.
That is a lucky fucking cat.
I Know what's gonna happen whenI open that box.
It's the universe's irony, andthey're laughing at me.

Speaker 6 (10:16):
Wow, so you got some viral fame a few weeks ago.
That's how we found you thethat incident at the convenience
store.
Can you?
Can you tell us a little bitabout what happened there?

Speaker 10 (10:29):
Well, you know it was.
It was all zombies and I founda zombie.
I was just walking through, youknow, getting my Fritos right,
like he do, or maybe like I do,and there was one zombie that
didn't run away from me and Iwas like, wow, you know, and I

(10:51):
still had.
I still had my iPhone and and abattery charger so I could
still use my phone.
For, you know, the 400 of usleft on the tick tock.
That I would take from theconvenience store.
I would take some of the makeupand I would do a zombie makeup
tutorial.
Yeah because I don't think thezombies know that they can come

(11:15):
to her and Wouldn't be so afraidof them if they just made their
, you know.

Speaker 7 (11:27):
And it was I won't.
I thought kind of the.
Similarly, I was like I coulddo makeup like a zombie.
Oh because I mean I've got theback, I could trick them.
Yeah, that's what I wasthinking.

Speaker 10 (11:40):
They did that in the walking dead.
They even put dead body partsin their pants and walk zombies.
But I don't think that's it,because they run away from me.
This is going on in their headswhere I don't know.
I'm beginning to think thatthey think that I can save them.
I Think sometimes, you know,you find your good moods and

(12:04):
even during these strange timesyou know you got to take time
for yourself.
You gotta find your confidencebecause when people are running
away from you, all Like you getan alive.
Whoa, you know.
And so that's why I starteddoing makeup on myself, because
I wanted to feel good.
Even if the zombies can't talkto me, they can run away a

(12:27):
little slower.

Speaker 6 (12:28):
Absolutely.

Speaker 7 (12:29):
Absolutely yeah.

Speaker 6 (12:30):
Do you try to make up on Michael?

Speaker 10 (12:33):
No, because I don't bite me.
I Mean, like you know, I havethose friends that are toxic
that you just Can't get rid ofthem Because you know, you just
know.
I'm too long you know I'veknown him since the beginning.
You know it's been me and him.
So, yeah, he just, you just,even though you know he broke

(12:56):
all the rules and he got allzombie'd up and stuff, you know
he doesn't run away.
Oh, I saw a zombie horse theother.
Good day, guys.

Speaker 6 (13:08):
What's that like?

Speaker 10 (13:09):
it's like it's a horse, but yeah, but their eyes
are so big like zombie eyes getcrazy when they're big like on
an animal, because horses eyesare usually like the black holes
of depth.
Yeah, yeah, the horror foranymore man.
Shit's exploding in those.

Speaker 3 (13:31):
Looks like a nebula.

Speaker 6 (13:34):
What does it look like?
A nebula?
Yeah, like a fiery.

Speaker 10 (13:38):
Just I'm telling you we have what I had.
Those eyes would be beingexplored.

Speaker 7 (13:49):
See.
I think, we've got to use.
We've got to use our people toget Ritchie Sweetie.
Okay, erin up was Ritchie.

Speaker 6 (13:56):
Yeah, we just had him on it earlier.
I wish, I wish we didn't know.

Speaker 7 (13:59):
We have the director of the CDC, doctor Ritchie.
He's been working on a cure andI feel like we've made some
progress with them and you mightbe like a key to this air and
we've got Tabling.

Speaker 10 (14:11):
Why are we looking for a cure?
Because when you, when you openthose brains, you can't cure
them.
Those people are dead.
It's the stroder.
You just need to stop believingin things and you realize the
tiny joys that can get youthrough this.
But stop believing.
Anything is still alive, allright, well Erin.

Speaker 7 (14:33):
What's your favorite tiny joy, my favorite tiny joy.

Speaker 10 (14:38):
Well, right now it's carving pictures into my whole
cave.
Those will last for centuriesright, I'm gonna be someone in
the future, lady Gaga.

Speaker 7 (14:56):
Sounds like somebody might have found your cave.

Speaker 6 (14:58):
Oh yeah, what is that ?

Speaker 7 (14:59):
What's that?
Do you have someone there atthe entrance?

Speaker 6 (15:02):
You put a boulder in front of you.

Speaker 10 (15:04):
How the fuck do you see in my cave?

Speaker 6 (15:06):
over here.

Speaker 7 (15:07):
We can hear it here's some wrestling.
Kind of sounds like you mighthave a visitor, an undead
visitor.

Speaker 10 (15:14):
How would you know that?
By row shit you were right.

Speaker 7 (15:19):
Erin, oh god.

Speaker 10 (15:28):
God, I'm like business clothes, though he must
have been someone important.
Oh, you know what's funsometimes I make up a game about
who these people are.
Yeah, okay, so he's got on Navyblue slacks with a purple tie,
no jacket, a dark gray button up.

(15:49):
I Think he wants me to tell youit's just gray.

Speaker 7 (15:56):
Oh, it's just gray.
Oh, it changes everything.
I think I think he was amanager at a cell phone store.

Speaker 10 (16:03):
Oh no, he's playing charades with me, right now Okay
, I would say Public defender.
Oh, he's doing a golf swing.

Speaker 6 (16:13):
Oh.

Speaker 10 (16:15):
I dated a golf bro once yeah.

Speaker 6 (16:20):
Wow, so maybe you're in Augusta, maybe you're down in
Georgia, oh.

Speaker 10 (16:25):
Fuck.

Speaker 6 (16:26):
I hope not do those long still count.

Speaker 10 (16:36):
I'm gonna call him Roger.
If Roger keeps this up, I mayneed an abortion.

Speaker 6 (16:44):
Remember Roger's dad.
He's dead.
He's dead.

Speaker 10 (16:48):
I don't think they work.
No, he's still doing a golfswing.
Man didn't make his dream.
I think he's upset about it.
This is like a freaking JohnDunn hole His future never came
true.

Speaker 7 (17:05):
Oh well, you keep tabs on Roger and on Michael and
we're gonna call you back here.
We're gonna see where you arehere in a little bit.

Speaker 10 (17:13):
All right, sounds good.
Thanks for having me, guys.
Makes me feel alive.

Speaker 6 (17:17):
Yeah, keep your head up.

Speaker 7 (17:18):
Erin Lane.
This is the song you survived.

Speaker 5 (17:28):
If you want to slow this down.
Oh, if I don't ask you to Bemore than just a late night,
come around, give me companytonight and stick around till
morning light, and with thedon't slips through the blinds,

(17:51):
I'm begging the sunshine.
I want to see your face in thedaylight Because you're always
gone before the night is through.
I want to see You're somethingthe sunshine.
Maybe we're just good together.

(18:26):
I'm over-vented, that's aneffort move and you might tell
me it's good texture.
I just want to see this through, baby, and stick around till

(18:47):
morning light, and with thedon't slips through the blinds,
I'm begging the sunshine.
It's a funny about my side.
I want to see your face in thedaylight Because you're always
gone before the night is through.
I want to see You're somethingthe sunshine Because you come

(19:12):
from the dark side of the moonthe dark side of the moon.
I'm over here, I'm not alone.
So I spent the night here.
I spent the night here, okay.

(19:51):
I want to see your face in thedaylight Because you're always
gone before the night is through.
I want to see You're somethingthe sunshine Because you come
from the dark side of the moon.
I want to see your face in thedaylight, because you're always

(20:14):
gone before the night is through.
I want to see.
You're something.
The sunshine Because you comefrom the dark side of the moon
the dark side of the moon.

Speaker 3 (20:45):
Yes, hello, my name is.
Gabe.
Gabe.
Egg yes, it was Gabe Egg and Ijust wanted to call in to thank
you for bringing to my attentionthe film these Hands.
It's really just knowing itexists and it inspires me to
cinematic masterpiece ofdetermination and fighting.

(21:08):
And I hear there's a dog in itand I know that once this film
people see it, they'll just knowthat this creator was a once in
a generation talent, like astep on Bill Bush or whatever
that guy's name is.

(21:29):
I was piddled after this newguy.
Anyway, there we go, oh therewe go, oh no, they seem to have
gotten me.
Oh no, the zombies are coming.
Oh, I'm definitely dying.
Please don't try to contact meagain.

Speaker 6 (21:47):
That was Good Intentions by Glass Bandit.
You can follow them on allsocial media and download that
track from Bandcamp.
I'm telling you, gina, thatvoice, that voice is so familiar
, do you not hear it, gina?

Speaker 7 (22:03):
I think that I do.
Here's my problem is I havethat like voice blindness, so
everybody kind of sounds thesame to me anyway.

Speaker 6 (22:11):
That sounds like a payable way to live.

Speaker 7 (22:13):
It really is.
It's pretty awful.
Like I couldn't tell you, neil,dave, Susan, you all kind of
sound the same.
It's real weird.

Speaker 6 (22:23):
Gina, we got to talk about the All Star Game.
Did you watch, Did you hearabout the All Star Game?

Speaker 7 (22:28):
I did and I am grossed out.

Speaker 6 (22:32):
Home Run Derby.
Home Run Derby.

Speaker 7 (22:35):
I don't know like to me.
Just you know I didn't stophaving these big events.
Did we learn with the NBAfinals?
Now we have the All Star Game.

Speaker 6 (22:43):
The Ashes too, the Ashes.

Speaker 7 (22:45):
Yeah, I mean every major sporting event turns into
a super spreader.
I just don't get it Like as ourneed so great.
I don't think so, but I do lovecricket.

Speaker 6 (22:55):
So I don't understand why people keep showing up to
these things.
And then one guy turns and boom.

Speaker 7 (23:04):
You'd think they'd have better security for it.
You know, if somebody's actingall funky, Get out of here.

Speaker 6 (23:12):
But we've got our good friend on the phone from
Florida Our baseball analyst andcomedian.
He's in that new movie WomenWant Everything.
We've got Jeff McElhaney on thephone.
Jeff, how are you buddy?

Speaker 7 (23:22):
Jeff, how's it going?
How's things down there inFlorida?

Speaker 6 (23:25):
Sunny Florida.

Speaker 13 (23:27):
Yeah, sunny Florida, you know, it's actually pretty
damn good.
I mean, I don't know what therest of the country's
complaining about.
See seems to be a trend with.

Speaker 3 (23:36):
Florida.

Speaker 13 (23:40):
And you know we don't experience things the same
way that the rest of you all do.
Always separate Rhode Island'sliterally underwater, oh yeah,
yeah, well, you know, thestreets are under water
sometimes here, but that's onlywhen it rains, but that that's,
that's a normal thing.

Speaker 7 (23:59):
That's pre pre zombies there pre, pre zombies.

Speaker 13 (24:02):
Yeah, yeah we, we get along well with the zombies.
Yeah, the hard part is youdon't know the the average
homeless method versus versus azombie.
You know, sometimes you got toget real close to actually know
which is which yeah, I've seen.

Speaker 6 (24:19):
I've seen a couple of those posts of Florida zombie.

Speaker 13 (24:22):
Yeah, yeah.
But look we, we've got thealligator policing the streets.
The alligators, I mean, theygot the taste for the, for the
zombie flesh.
That's a really good point.

Speaker 6 (24:33):
Yeah, yeah, did they get deputized?

Speaker 13 (24:36):
Yeah yeah.
Well, you know, we just have tospray paint them.
That's how we do it here.
You know they can have auniform, but we could just, you
know, we put their number ontheir back.
And we know, we know, yeah,alligator 420, that is my

(24:57):
favorite.
He's a blast.

Speaker 7 (25:02):
Oh, do they do.
They should do like the, thelive PD to they follow that
right well, you know what I'm.

Speaker 13 (25:10):
I'm trying to start that as as part of.
I'm trying to do that as partof my YouTube channel, so We'll
see if it takes off.
Yeah, I'll get a ton of views.

Speaker 7 (25:19):
Yeah.
So, speaking of YouTube andthings you're doing, I hear you
just had a Premier for yourmovie.
Women want everything.
Tell us about that house andthey do your work in this day
and age.

Speaker 13 (25:33):
You know we had.
We had to get a few gatorsoutside just for for additional
security.
Yeah, I mean, you know we hadto turn away.
You know normal people too.
Yeah, you know, if you don'thave a ticket, it was a sold-out
premiere.

Speaker 6 (25:47):
Nice Congratulations.

Speaker 13 (25:49):
Yeah, yeah, it was great.
People laughed the whole time.
God, I look way too much likeKenny Powers.
It's, it's, it's almost notfunny.

Speaker 6 (25:58):
That's a couple of them.

Speaker 13 (25:59):
I think, you know, I gotta lean into it at this
point.
I hope Danny's doing okay.
Danny McBride's hopefully stillalive out there, wherever he is
, I'm sure it's not, you coulddouble.
Well, that's true if he's inthe middle of a project, and
he's been, you know, killed by azombie.
Yet they can just call me.

Speaker 7 (26:22):
Get your agent on the phone.

Speaker 6 (26:23):
So what's the movie about, jeff?
Tell us a little background onit.

Speaker 13 (26:27):
It is about four misfits Men who are trying to
figure out what women want.

Speaker 3 (26:35):
Um and that's not trouble right there.

Speaker 13 (26:38):
Yeah, spoiler alert, don't figure it out.
I Like true to life films, youknow.
Yeah, yeah, no, it was.
It was very funny because I youknow it was arguing when my
co-stars About who was the leastlike their character and I play
a character who's a Florida manwith a bit of a drinking

(27:00):
problem.
He's a little sloppy, terriblewith women, I'm like, oh, you
know, that's basically me.
Just I did a southern accentfor the movie, so yeah, but it
was, it was fun, you know atleast you could say you're a
researcher.

Speaker 6 (27:16):
And when you get hammered?

Speaker 13 (27:17):
hmm, yeah, it's part of the job or when you screw up
a relationship.

Speaker 7 (27:24):
That's the research.

Speaker 13 (27:25):
Yeah, yeah, I'm getting ready for the sequel.

Speaker 7 (27:29):
Why women leave?

Speaker 13 (27:32):
That's good.
Yeah, yeah, they, they wereseriously.
Yesterday there was a Q&A afterthe premiere.
Lean and hard.
Apparently the the directorwriter is already working on the
second.
Screw nice.
That's awesome he.
He did say what if we?
What if we did a version ofthis starring four women who
would try to figure out what menwant?

Speaker 6 (27:54):
I'm like, yeah, I want one when men want boobs.
That's.
It's not gonna be very long,it's a very short film.
Yeah.

Speaker 13 (28:06):
But yeah, I, you know it's as far as the zombies
go.
I'm not gonna lie.
I, I, I.
There weren't a lot of singleladies at the premiere.
Yeah so I, you know, I don't, Idon't know if this is a
worldwide thing, but we, wedon't mind, you know, having
some fun with the zombie ladies,if you know what I mean.

Speaker 6 (28:28):
Oh no, yeah, that's actually.
That's a common theme with theshow.

Speaker 7 (28:32):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (28:34):
Good, I'm not a freak then right.

Speaker 7 (28:37):
Not for Florida.
Yeah no, it's a big thing downhere yeah.

Speaker 6 (28:43):
Oh.

Speaker 13 (28:46):
Yeah, yeah, it's a.
I mean it's a booming business,I mean good God.
Florida man I mean look, we'rekeeping them alive, we're you
know, if there's ever a cure forthis thing, we can.
You know, don't totally back,maybe a little worse for the
wear, but for more reasons thanone.

Speaker 6 (29:06):
But yeah, talk about waking up in the morning with a
mistake.

Speaker 13 (29:11):
Yeah, the biggest issue I have is I'm a big heavy
drinker and, yeah, I've had someclose calls because you know,
yeah does the alcohol supply getaffected by that.

Speaker 7 (29:24):
I mean, we've had some supply chain issues here.
I mean, are you guys able toget the booze to, you know, to
get you tanked?
Well, luckily for me, you know.

Speaker 13 (29:36):
Florida boys are not that big of a deal.
You know, florida man is a very, very smart, smart person.
So we figured out the wholedistillery type thing we're.
You know it's.
It's not as smooth as what I'mused to, but it gets the job
done and that's really all itcounts right.

Speaker 7 (29:55):
Especially now.
So now and I know that that wehave the all-star game, you know
yeah we have the.
You know what happens there andyou know I assume alcohol was
involved in some way.
But you know, I know I heardyou like baseball, so I wanted
to get your insight.

Speaker 6 (30:13):
Yeah, did you hear?
Did you hear?
Did you hear about the incidentat the at the Major League
Baseball Star Game?

Speaker 13 (30:17):
No, I didn't hear about the incident.
What was that?
Oh man, we're hoping you'regonna improvise.

Speaker 3 (30:27):
I thought, maybe.

Speaker 13 (30:28):
I thought maybe it was canon.
I'll go back.

Speaker 7 (30:30):
No, this is new canon that we want you to make, but
that's okay, yeah that's myfault.

Speaker 13 (30:38):
You know, look, it's raised.
Fans and zombies are oftenconfused for each other, and you
know, they, they.
Again, I blame, I blame MajorLeague Baseball for not adopting
the alligator security for theevent.

Speaker 7 (30:54):
You think it could have been solved all with that?
You know, yeah, yeah, no that's.

Speaker 6 (30:57):
That's an it.
Who is the commissioner now,since the original one has been
obviously has turned?
Yeah, is it Bud Selig again,did they bring him back?

Speaker 13 (31:08):
No, no, no, he's definitely.
He was a zombie back in the 90s.
Well done.
Yeah, yeah, yeah no, he's outof the picture.
I believe it's Paul Giamatti,because his grandfather was the
commissioner back in the day, soyou know yeah, keep that man
safe at all costs and a greatactor.
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

Speaker 6 (31:30):
I hope.

Speaker 13 (31:30):
I hope being commissioner baseball doesn't
distract too much from hisacting.
We need him in the Kiacommercials or whatever the hell
he's doing there it was.

Speaker 6 (31:39):
Einstein and Verizon, wasn't he just recently?
Yes, he was.

Speaker 13 (31:45):
Yeah, yeah, he.
He probably wish he was killedby the zombies at this point.

Speaker 6 (31:50):
Yeah, yeah, commissioner, and doing Verizon
commercials.
There's no way.
It makes sense.
When you talk it out Loud wouldhappen.

Speaker 13 (31:57):
Yeah, yeah, you know he's a busy man.
He stretched tooth in.
He didn't think about the Gatorsecurity and you know, things
happen, things happen I.
I just pray that RandyArosarana is okay in the end.

Speaker 6 (32:11):
Yeah, that was awful.

Speaker 7 (32:12):
It's awesome prayers, awesome prayers.

Speaker 6 (32:15):
So when the movie, when it's available, if we
follow you on social media, how,how, how could we do that?
What's your handles?
Do you have handles?

Speaker 13 (32:23):
Yeah, I'm a writer, and Instagram.
I'm at St Jay Mac J, m A, c andthe Jeff Macalino podcast has a
Facebook page.
So between those things, thoseare probably the the big ones,
and, of course, the podcast, youknow, still up and running, not

(32:46):
affected by zombies.
I'm actually really hoping toget a few zombies on as guests
in the near future.
I want to hear their side ofthe story.
Not sure it'll be compellingaudio, but but we'll see.
We'll see Right.

Speaker 7 (33:00):
Yeah, we've got a zombie translator that we can
get you in touch with.
Ooh nice, that might help.

Speaker 13 (33:05):
There you go.
Yeah, look, look I I've had aflatterer on the podcast.
So zombies, you know, probablynot the weirdest people I'll
have.

Speaker 6 (33:13):
So did we?
That's crazy.
It is crazy.
We had a legitimate flatterertoo, like it wasn't even like an
act.

Speaker 7 (33:21):
So like they're like oh, this is part of my shtick,
oh, yeah, maybe it was the sameguy.

Speaker 6 (33:28):
So you do stand up comedy too, jeff, is that
correct?

Speaker 13 (33:30):
A little bit.
I've dialed it back.
Really, when I got the actingrole, I, I, I.
There's a lot more freedom insaying other people's words and
making them funny because, if itdoesn't work, you can just say,
hey, I didn't write it.

Speaker 6 (33:45):
Yeah, that is nice, that's true.
Robin Williams did that oftenas well.
Oh, low blow.

Speaker 13 (33:53):
Yes, I've, I've heard.

Speaker 6 (33:55):
I've heard the stories on the road as a, as a
comedian, on the road, withzombies.
Was that?
How was that?
Did you take like a?
Like a bus that was just deckedout?

Speaker 7 (34:06):
Alligators man.

Speaker 6 (34:07):
Alligators, that's right yeah.

Speaker 7 (34:10):
But in the cold, what if you?

Speaker 13 (34:11):
went to Minnesota.
Well, I don't do the coldweather venues.
My, my comedy doesn't eventravel.
Well, there, cities are notlike, they just don't get it.
I'm I'm talking about, you know, relaxing, passing out on a
beach, and they're like what isa beach?
Imagine the snow is hot andbrown.

(34:32):
That's a beach and fun to walkon.

Speaker 6 (34:35):
Yes, yes, yes, you know, tell them the story if you
don't mind that you're in NewYork when you're at New York and
you bombed oh my God, it wasthe worst.

Speaker 7 (34:49):
It was so, so, like I forgot that people in New York
don't really drive cars.
I had this whole fucking bitabout cars and like, like
acronyms for names or whatever,and like I started doing I'm
like, oh shit, this is going tofail hard.
And then it just silence.

Speaker 6 (35:05):
And then like somebody shouted yeah, oh, yeah,
go outside.

Speaker 7 (35:09):
Oh yeah.
So it's like a fire truck, justlike parked outside with its
sirens on, and I'm like, oh,this is fucking great.
And we shout like we don'tdrive.

Speaker 9 (35:19):
It was awful.

Speaker 7 (35:21):
I was like I'm going to just go jump off the fucking
Birken Bridge now because thisshitty yeah, the very first open
mic I did.

Speaker 13 (35:30):
There were nine people in the audience who were
not comedians and six of themwere friends and family, always,
yeah, and I dropped my firstjoke and it is crickets and I'm
like, really Two thirds of youare my, my family, basically and
you can't even courtesy chuckle.
They won't even laugh for you,like, come on, just go, that's

(35:52):
it Just fake.

Speaker 7 (35:55):
And I'm that person.
I feel bad for every comedian,so it doesn't matter if their
jokes suck.

Speaker 6 (35:59):
I'm like oh yeah, you tackle for the support.

Speaker 13 (36:03):
Yeah, the courtesy chuckle is like.
You know, it's a must.
You can tell the rhythm of ajoke and you can tell when a
punchline is even if it'sterrible.
It's a little, that's it.

Speaker 6 (36:15):
Just the support.
I love the groans.
I know that my joke is great IfI get it, oh oh yeah, oh yeah,
that's.

Speaker 13 (36:22):
That's actually my favorite reaction I ever had to
a joke.
I've got an audio recording ofit, but it's a joke that takes a
second to understand.
It's not a racist joke, but youknow.

(36:43):
So everyone kind of paused andthen the black people in the
audience started laughing andthen all the white people were
like, okay, we're good, we can't, but there is a noticeable like
two second delay in thelaughter and I love it so much,
absolutely.

Speaker 6 (37:00):
That's what I think is comedy.

Speaker 7 (37:02):
That's when it's a good joke, though, because it
means you had to, like, get toit Like you had to get to it and
let it flow over you, and thenyou're like oh yes.

Speaker 13 (37:13):
Yeah, no, it was.
That's my favorite.
I need more of those in myaccent.

Speaker 6 (37:20):
Now do you have I assume that you have some
alligators guarding wherever youare for safety right?

Speaker 13 (37:26):
Yeah, so I was very fortunate.
One thing that's a bigadvantage in this zombie
situation is having a two storyhouse.
You got the high ground.
It's really easy to defend.
So, just you know, got somegators chained around the fence.
You know, I'm kind of justbuilding a compound.

Speaker 7 (37:45):
Well, it kind of sounds like the question I think
I've got is it sounds like thealligators either have something
.

Speaker 3 (37:51):
Yeah.
I can't it's a very it's asound.

Speaker 7 (37:53):
I've never heard before and maybe it's because of
it, I don't know.
Can you look at this?
Is there like a window or adoor you could peek out, maybe
and see what's going on?
It sounds like quite acommotion, it's probably so.

Speaker 13 (38:06):
Yeah yeah, yeah, I'll go.
There is some noise on the backperimeter.
I'll go check this out rightnow.

Speaker 6 (38:14):
I'm sure it's perfect , I'm sure it's fine.

Speaker 7 (38:17):
I mean, those alligators are a really good
choice.
They're hard workers too, yeah.

Speaker 13 (38:22):
Well, the alligators missing from the perimeter.
So I'm gonna have toinvestigate this a little more.

Speaker 7 (38:28):
Okay, well, yeah, we don't mind waiting.
We'll wait for you to come back.
Hope it's not just like hangingthere like the goat on Jurassic
.

Speaker 6 (38:37):
Park, jurassic.

Speaker 7 (38:37):
Park yeah.

Speaker 13 (38:39):
What the hell happened to this?

Speaker 7 (38:41):
Oh God.

Speaker 3 (38:42):
What's going on over there?

Speaker 6 (38:43):
Jeff.

Speaker 13 (38:44):
Oh my God, jesus Christ.
Hey, it's a setup, the zombie.
This is a zombie.
I fucked last night.
Oh my God.

Speaker 10 (38:56):
What Gators, gators.

Speaker 7 (38:59):
The table's a first You're a fake number.

Speaker 6 (39:03):
Oh, he's, oh, no, he's gone.
He's gone.
Jeff Macalino, this is the songyou die to no ships on my

(39:24):
shoulder.
I wish I was older.
Clouds make shapes.
But so what, early on in thediamond week, fish my cheeks
just for the sake of it don'tmake sense.
But I got magazine figurines.
I got posters on my wall, bigdream savings screens.

(39:47):
I'll expose Some days neverfade, cause my eyes are number

(40:28):
three.
Time makes never meant to dieof grown.
Lots of reason, at least love'sa tits and this a freeze face
and this a oh, my oh.

Speaker 7 (40:50):
They say it won't be easy, but it's just a game.
Forget what makes you stronger,cause you'll fail the same.
I like to take it over everynow and then, but I will live it
all again.
That was mid-2000s by the upand coming UK band Voodoo

(42:04):
Bandits.
You can check out their musicon Spotify, soundcloud and get
their song on Bandcamp.

Speaker 4 (42:14):
This is Special Agent Robert Donovan.
Here's what we know.
A crucial piece of evidence inthe 40 year old Crossing Guard
Wars case seems to have made itsway out of our control.
The Crossing Guard tapes arethe work of one, mike Limbo.
October 31st 1988.
Mr Limbo took a job as a schoolcrossing guard and found

(42:38):
himself in the middle of anancient and unseen war between,
well, school crossing guards anda cult hidden deep within the
fabric of our society.

Speaker 3 (42:50):
Three or four FBI looking guys jumped out of the
sedan and hopped her suit.

Speaker 4 (42:57):
We've allocated resources to monitor activity on
the sitewwwthecrossingdarttapescom and
any and all podcast directoryand distribution services that
are seen to be providing refugeto these leads.
We will be especially vigilanton July 13th, when the first
installment of the CrossingGuard Tapes is released.

Speaker 14 (43:23):
Okay, everybody, this is Red reporting live on
the road.
I'm down here in the Panhandleof Florida reporting from Panama
City Beach.
We've got our live extrareporter, poppy Perkins.
She's got breaking news.
Poppy, what's going?

Speaker 2 (43:41):
on.
Hey Red, we're here in thesunny state of Florida and I am
here to report about, once again, the Florida man.
Oh, so we've kind of been nothaving any zombie issues here in
Florida.
I mean, it's been silent.
So anyway, talking to theFlorida man boy, as he is crazy
kook.
Really I'm seeing him on thenews all the time.

(44:04):
It's kind of silent, but oh, Iknow he's just always doing
something stupid.
You know how he is.

Speaker 14 (44:09):
Anyhow, what's the reason for all the silence.
Isn't this like tourist season?

Speaker 2 (44:15):
I mean, it's tourist season.
You think these zombies wouldbe just, you know, really quite
having the lunch.
But apparently these alligatorshave such keen senses for
rotting meat and flesh that theyseem to be picking them off
quicker than they become thezombies.
I mean, I was watching him oneday.

(44:36):
He says, and he says thealligators keen senses and even
tell which zombie is a witch.

Speaker 14 (44:43):
Wow, that's crazy, oh my gosh.
So, like I said, with nozombies, I mean, where are the
zombies going?
I mean you said the alligatorsare like taking them out right.

Speaker 2 (44:58):
Yeah, yeah.
So alligators turns out,they've taken all these zombie
bodies to this one swamplocation and they have been
there.
They're just they're.
They're eating so many zombiesand so much so mass destruction
of all these zombies thatthey're capturing they.

(45:21):
They formed a system where theyare eating and laying eggs like
crazy.

Speaker 14 (45:29):
So we're going to have more of an invasive
experience with the gators thatyou're telling me.

Speaker 2 (45:36):
The gators are going to be outnumbering us and the
zombies?

Speaker 14 (45:43):
Oh yes, I guess, I guess they smell that versus.

Speaker 2 (45:47):
Hey we're going to be .
We're going to have to dosomething.
There's going to have to besomething happening.
I think I should be investingin boots, don't you?

Speaker 14 (45:56):
I mean, if we're going to have all of these
gators down there, somebodyneeds to take care of this issue
.
That's crazy.
Well, for now.

Speaker 2 (46:05):
we're thinking of shipping out the gators in the
summer into some of these otherlocations, so they can at least
have a nice summer Then whenwinter comes, you know.

Speaker 14 (46:14):
Then you make your boots in your bags.

Speaker 2 (46:17):
That wouldn't be a bad idea it's going to turn into
a moneymaker for these, forthese alligators.
I'm telling you I'm I might geton board and buy some, some
alligator eggs.

Speaker 14 (46:29):
Yeah, no kidding, no kidding.
Hey, poppy, thanks for thatupdate.
Keep us informed on what theFlorida man's doing.
I'm excited he's taking control.
I never knew you could actuallytrain a gator to be a zombie
detector and just take him outlike that.

(46:50):
But I really think it's greatbecause it's recycling.
Who doesn't want to raise wasteRight?
Absolutely.
I'm over the smell of rottingflesh ever since that train
derailment and those zombiesstarted laying around all
canotonic.
It's kind of gross out there.

(47:10):
So if they're, pulling it up anddragging them in the swamp it's
no better way to do it.
It's kind of like what themafia used to do All right,
taking care of business nokidding hey, Poppy, thanks for
jumping on.

Speaker 2 (47:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 14 (47:27):
Hey, maybe I'll see you on the beach.
You're not getting chased again, okay, right, right, yeah, I'm
going to go ahead and get thisback to Joe and Gina in the
studio.
Thanks for popping in, thankyou, thanks.

Speaker 8 (47:41):
Broadcasting a million watts of zombie busting
power Brains 98.6.
Zombies that had radio the megastation.

Speaker 6 (47:52):
You know, Gina, I'm starting to think there's a
connection between all of this.

Speaker 7 (47:56):
You know, it almost seems like there's got to be a
thread.
If not, I'm crazy.

Speaker 6 (48:02):
It's well, we need to put up one of those you know
those things with the pushpinsin the strings, because all of
these guests are random, yetsomehow everything, week after
week, starts tying itselftogether in an impossible way.

Speaker 7 (48:18):
It's like a web of information and somehow we're
going to get a clear picture outof this thing eventually.
It's like the Zodiac killer.
It is we need, but we needdescriptions, we need eye
witness accounts.

Speaker 6 (48:34):
It's just I don't know, I don't know.

Speaker 7 (48:36):
Well, you know, what we can do is we can talk to our
next guest.
We've got the co-creators ofthis amazing new podcast that
just dropped yesterday right,just dropped yesterday.
It's called crossing guardtapes and we've got jazz and
William on the phone to talk alittle bit more about it.

Speaker 6 (48:59):
I love it.
I got to tell you this isprobably the breakout podcast of
the year.
They have podcast awards.
I don't know.

Speaker 7 (49:06):
So the crossing guard tapes guys tell us, what is
that all about?

Speaker 6 (49:11):
I have been dying to talk to you too.

Speaker 11 (49:13):
Okay, it's about tapes about crossing guards.
Yeah, we, there it is.
We securely taped crossingguards, conversations there,
interesting people, brilliant.
No, the story was kind of cameabout because a lot of things
it's really complex.

Speaker 6 (49:32):
It seems very complex .

Speaker 11 (49:35):
Yeah, dumb ideas, okay.
So I used to drive my kids toschool in the morning and
there'd be some weird guy on thecorner like just entertaining
everyone as they walked by.
Like he was.
Like he was like this clown.
And I kept watching it, likeevery day he was there and you
know people would be clappingfor him and everything, and I
went who is that guy?

(49:56):
What does he, who does he workfor?
And so I assumed that he wassignaling someone out in, out
there.
And you know there wassomething, you know more, you
know deeper, deep state going onthere.
So that's where that started,but yeah, so it kind of I
imagine this, this, that somedumb job like a crossing guard

(50:20):
is a deep state, you know like,so, like I don't know if any of
you have been crossing guardsbefore, but I wasn't fifth grade
because they outsourced it tothe children in my school.
You're part of the deep state.

Speaker 7 (50:33):
I mean, yeah, I can't really talk about that, we're
one question in it I'm alreadyin tears laughing.

Speaker 6 (50:41):
It's such a brilliant idea to just look at a crossing
guards and think what youthought, yeah.

Speaker 11 (50:45):
Yeah, there's something way deeper going on so
creative there's.

Speaker 7 (50:49):
There's a huge organization.
That orange belt is a utilitybelt, yeah.

Speaker 11 (50:52):
Yeah, there's a, there's a lot of, yeah, all that
, anything you can imagine.

Speaker 12 (50:57):
And then, if you look at, stop upside down, right
, it's Latin for conspiracy,right?

Speaker 6 (51:02):
Is it?
Is it really?

Speaker 12 (51:04):
No, no, I'm joking.

Speaker 6 (51:05):
I was like holy cow.

Speaker 7 (51:06):
maybe this is real yeah.

Speaker 12 (51:09):
It was like the whole.

Speaker 6 (51:10):
Ford.

Speaker 12 (51:11):
The alumni like symbols on the dollar right, the
pyramid and all that right.
We just take it further tocrossing guards, absolutely.

Speaker 6 (51:18):
I can't believe it.
Like as soon as I saw it I washooked.
It's, I don't know, man, likeit's better than squid game,
Just so fascinated with the ideathat you guys came up with.

Speaker 12 (51:28):
Good, Good.
This is all.
Jim is like, don't pin thiscrazy.

Speaker 7 (51:33):
This I mean unless it's brilliant and they'll take
credit.

Speaker 12 (51:36):
Yes, exactly, you just saw me dancing on the
corner.
He's like hey you, I feel likethat's a true story.
No, no, it's almost.

Speaker 6 (51:48):
It's very lynching now, yeah.

Speaker 12 (51:50):
Yeah, yeah, I'm on retainer with Jim now.
He just yeah, it's all thepodcast is just following me
around and he's got a stop signin my hand.

Speaker 6 (52:00):
So what is some?
So the?
So the show's out now, becauseit's Friday.

Speaker 11 (52:04):
Yes, we, we actually put it out a few years ago and
we just weren't really quitehappy with it.
We kind of did it and kind oflet it kind of go.
And you know there was a lot ofthings I didn't like about it.
It was the first time I haddone a podcast where you know
the the presentation of it wasnot very interesting, I think,

(52:27):
and so we kind of re redid itand made it, you know, a little
bit more just more mysteriousand strange.
You know, that's when jazzcomes in right.
Yeah, the dancing on the on thestreet corner and with a stop
sign.
Yeah, that's pretty weird.

Speaker 7 (52:47):
And yeah, dude's like this guy.

Speaker 12 (52:48):
Yeah, well, he's like.
This guy.
Knows that's the oh when he sawme dance.

Speaker 11 (52:57):
So, yeah, it's basically a it's a reboot kind
of in a sense, in a big sense,like in in, in every sense that
you can imagine, all senses ofreboot, it's all those.
Yeah, you know, I was alwaysbummed because I thought it was
a fun concept and I spent a lotof time putting all the sounds

(53:20):
together and and creating theseatmospheres and everything and I
thought, well, you know, thisis, this is.
I mean, I've heard a lot ofother podcasts out there and
they were nice, but this had alot more detail to my video.
And so that I was just like,well, I wish it wouldn't die all
the way, you know, but but soyou know.
Then, jazz, I was driving mykids to school and I saw him on

(53:43):
the corner there doing the doingthe stop sign thing, and I went
in and he said, hey, stop,let's reboot this thing.
And I went, oh great idea.
And you met him and that wasthe first thing he said to you
yeah.

Speaker 12 (53:59):
And then, after Jim said that it was a good idea, he
also said get out of my car.

Speaker 7 (54:04):
She got in the car.

Speaker 12 (54:08):
With crossing guards .
We we operate with impunity.
Yeah yeah.

Speaker 11 (54:11):
Yeah, it's a deep state, Just you know.
Exactly, there's a lot moregoing on than you think.
Just you know.

Speaker 6 (54:17):
Yeah, so what of the story?
Can you, oh sorry, go ahead?

Speaker 12 (54:19):
Yeah, no, go ahead.
I'm just going to say, yeah,like I feel like the.
You know the reboot also waslike a good opportunity to.
You know, look at like um, notjust like kind of you know
putting that podcast out there,but actually creating kind of
the you know the the elementsaround the story, um, and and
kind of you know, pull more intothat Cause.
I think that's.
I feel like that's kind of whatwas lacking from the first time

(54:41):
around, was it was more justkind of like hey, here's this
podcast and this time it's likekind of creating the atmosphere.
I love it.
And in the lead, up andeverything too.

Speaker 7 (54:49):
Yeah, I think when you revisit stuff like that too,
it's like you don't have tocreate the bones Now.
You get to really like sculptit better.
Yes, and and make it likereally more robust, which this?
It seems like it's so, likeit's so in-depth in ways that
you couldn't do if you were justfiguring out your concept.

Speaker 6 (55:08):
Yes, all that I've probably listened to the trailer
like 10 times.

Speaker 7 (55:12):
The trailer makes me laugh.
I love it.
The stranger things.
Music kills me.

Speaker 6 (55:17):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 12 (55:20):
No, I think like there's just so much with the,
with the story, you know the,the fact that it takes place in
the 80s, just you know, thecause.
That takes just all theaesthetics and everything too.
But then the core of the story,like you know, like you were
saying, like we have the bonesthere too, so we have the core
that we can build off of, butthen the aesthetics that's
around that too, just make it alot more fun.
You know, and it's, you know, alot of fun kind of putting it

(55:42):
out there, maybe too much fun,you know, with all the dancing
and everything.

Speaker 6 (55:49):
So, tell us a little bit about the story.
What, what, where can you giveus?
For those of us?

Speaker 11 (55:54):
Okay, sure, yeah, well, well, so it's this guy
that that he's like in his youknow, 30, 30 something, probably
young 30s, and he's reallyclueless person he's.
He's a person who doesn't haveany desire to to think anything
beyond keeping his car cleanedup and, you know, getting it

(56:19):
fixed up and and hopefully,maybe having a date with a woman
someday, you know, you know, or, or or somebody you know sounds
like me.
Okay, so maybe this is yourstory, Maybe I was so.
So the thing is he's not a veryhe's not very curious about the
world, Right, and so he getsthis job thinking and and he's

(56:41):
not really smart, he's thinking,he's hoping with all this might
that he can keep this himselftogether, to keep this job you
know he wants.
He wants to try really hard andimpress the boss and all this
kind of stuff.
And then little by little, andthen he fucks up right away.
So it is me.

Speaker 3 (57:02):
This sounds like Joe.

Speaker 6 (57:07):
Let me guess he gets fired, becomes a drunk and loses
everything.

Speaker 11 (57:12):
Oh man, that's your story.
No, this is different oh.

Speaker 7 (57:14):
God.

Speaker 11 (57:18):
No, there is hope, because what you have to do is
claw your way back in.
You call the boss and you sayI'll do anything, just try me
again, give me another chance.
And of course they do give hima chance, but it's at a really
crappy school really reallycrappy, really low grade and but
he works his way through and hecomes back and he's gets real

(57:39):
serious about it and little bylittle things he starts noticing
weird, weird stuff is going onwith some of the other people
that he works with, and, and,and at some point Deep state
chaos ensues.

Speaker 6 (57:54):
Deep state chaos ensues.

Speaker 11 (57:55):
Right, it's a deep state, you know, and he gets
kind of kidnapped into thisorganization and which is really
like it's really got a lot ofmoney behind it.
They own all kinds of propertythey own.
They have all these secretorganizations.
They get involved in governmentand all this kind of stuff, you
know, and all kinds of secretthings, and so they start

(58:19):
training them to be like anoperative.
Okay.
I love it yeah.
And he and, but he's, he'skidnapped, he can never go home.
He's there.
He's there and because they,they kidnap people that don't
really have family, so they justkind of take them in and start
indoctrinating them and he hasto learn all this, all this
stuff about you know, like youknow all different languages, so

(58:41):
you can, you know, if you haveto go to the Middle East and
talk to you know people that,like just all these different,
Do they have?

Speaker 7 (58:49):
crossing guards in the Middle East.

Speaker 11 (58:52):
Of course they do.
It's a deep state Come on Gina.

Speaker 3 (58:56):
Everybody knows that.

Speaker 11 (59:02):
Anyway, so so, so he goes on.
It's really complicated.
You should listen to it.
It's, it's, it's, so it goesinto some really crazy stories.

Speaker 6 (59:13):
Absolutely.

Speaker 7 (59:14):
Well, it's exciting that I want him to have a love
interest.
Please, whatever season, givehim a love interest.

Speaker 11 (59:22):
He's just trying to stay alive right now, but he
does.
He does have a crush on one ofhis.
Yes, there's a crush.

Speaker 7 (59:31):
He's got a crush.
Yeah, so I'm a good crush.
Yeah Me cute Crossing guard mecute.
Yes.
A deep state crossing guardDeep state crossing guard me
cute, that's totally normal.

Speaker 11 (59:44):
Well, she's not part of that.
She's part of an organizationthat he escapes into who are
fighting.
It's really Wow, this this isdeep.
Yeah, it goes there's.
There's some people out at warwith each other, you know, and
you know they're.
It's so hard to, it's so much,it's, it's so deep that it's

(01:00:07):
it's called a deep state for areason.

Speaker 6 (01:00:08):
For a reason I feel.
I feel like you don't sleepwith all these ideas.
Is that true?
Do you sleep.

Speaker 11 (01:00:15):
You know, yeah, sometimes OK.
Yeah.

Speaker 12 (01:00:19):
That's when the deep state starts skinning him,
though.

Speaker 7 (01:00:23):
He can only sleep for three and a half minutes at a
time that's right.

Speaker 1 (01:00:26):
That's how long it takes to track him.

Speaker 11 (01:00:30):
I'm on the run right now.

Speaker 1 (01:00:31):
I gotta go Talk to you guys.
Hear the car sound.

Speaker 12 (01:00:37):
So how do we never get on zoom?

Speaker 6 (01:00:39):
And now they found you, now they got you.
So how do we find?
How do we find crossing guardtapes?

Speaker 12 (01:00:47):
Yeah, I mean the easiest step is is yeah, just
any podcast directory likeSpotify, google's there is on
there.
But if you go to the crossingguard tapes dot com, we have all
the links there as well.
But yeah, if you go to anythingthat like your corner, you know
convenience store.
If they have podcasts, whichthey probably do, they probably
have it as well too.
I think it's all you know weprobably start, you know, get it

(01:01:11):
on vinyl and all that too, Likejust.

Speaker 6 (01:01:15):
I got my copy.
I got my copy from a bootleggeron the street.

Speaker 12 (01:01:19):
Yeah, I've been seeing that too.
Right there, They've impressedin.
Cds and everything, and I'veeven heard Netflix is going back
to DVD right With you know thatis true, that is true.
And so, yeah, pretty soon, likeNetflix, will you know, we'll
see a field of street viewphysically through.
You know, I think now it's theold Wells Fargo, though
stagecoach delivery.

Speaker 7 (01:01:39):
I mean, I haven't seen it in a while, but it would
have been good.
Like that.
Research, though, is the whatwas that Kevin Costner movie the
Postman, like it's you knowpost apocalyptic oh I love that.

Speaker 12 (01:01:48):
Yeah, I love that that movie right there, like I
feel like that's, you know,paradigm for Netflix and the you
know after the end times.

Speaker 3 (01:01:59):
Thank, you so much for that.

Speaker 12 (01:02:02):
I appreciate it, I appreciate it, I appreciate it,
I appreciate it, I appreciate it, I appreciate it, I appreciate
it.

Speaker 6 (01:02:08):
Thank you so much for that.
That character will now enterthis episode.

Speaker 9 (01:02:12):
No worries.

Speaker 7 (01:02:19):
So, so with this, you know, this new venture that you
guys are doing, what would you,what advice would you, give
people that want to do somethingjust so creative like what you
guys are doing?

Speaker 6 (01:02:34):
Great question.

Speaker 12 (01:02:37):
Yeah, I'll let Jim start with that and I can follow
up too.

Speaker 7 (01:02:40):
We know your answer SEO.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 12 (01:02:45):
And then you know, yeah, dancing exactly Well.
Spoiler alert.

Speaker 11 (01:02:50):
Okay, so so you're wondering what advice to give
people.
Is that what you're doing?

Speaker 7 (01:02:58):
Yeah, yeah, if somebody has an idea, a kooky
idea like a crossing guard deepstate.
What would you tell them to dowith that?

Speaker 11 (01:03:10):
I don't know.
I mean it's like.
It's like first of all, get it,get a microphone at home and
make a podcast of it.
First of all, write a storylike write, write the story.
It took me a long time to write, write the whole thing out as a
full, a full story.
It takes.
You know, jazz and I have beenworking on a lot of projects
together for many years and alot of movies and film things

(01:03:34):
and we both kind of got involvedin writing and so you know it's
, it's like, you know you, youcould always try to find someone
to collaborate with.
That is a writer that you couldsit here.
Some ideas, can you?
Can you help me flesh them out?
I don't know, you know I mean tome that would be a good, a good
place to start because becauseit is a lot of work to put the

(01:03:54):
story together first.
You know absolutely.

Speaker 12 (01:03:57):
Yeah, no, I would echo that.
I think the other thing too is,like you know, don't be
precious with the drafts.
Like you can still kind of keepiterating on it, especially if
you're starting out too, Likefor me.
When I was starting out, likeyou know, I was very upset that,
like you know, first project Idid was not like gold and it was
the opposite of gold.
I'll go on record and say that.

(01:04:18):
I had a lot to learn.
I just, you know, also had tolearn that I had a lot to learn.
That was you know it's.
I think Robert Rodriguez saidlike you know whatever I mean
you know it works out to likeyou know, whatever medium you
kind of want to work in, but hiswas film right and his was they
.
His day was like, you know, youget through like 10, you're 10
crappy movies before you get tothe 11th like decent one.

(01:04:41):
And so it's about you know, likenot not being too precious,
like no win, to like call aproject done and going on to the
next, but also at the same timenot giving up too early.
It's finding that sweet spot ofkind of perseverance, but not
like you know death grip onsomething.
And then you know, like Jimsaying, you know you, you've got
to.
You know work, and I think youknow podcast actually makes a

(01:05:03):
lot of sense in that you canwrite it and kind of get through
the.
You know, get through the storythat way and kind of see it on
paper.
But then when you take it topodcast it kind of gets it a new
life because you start actuallyreally hearing the characters
and you might have to go backand write again too, so don't be
afraid to do that.

Speaker 11 (01:05:20):
Which I did a lot, yeah, cause originally I wrote
it as as a like a book, you knowsomething you could read and
and it just a friend of mineread it and he said you know,
that would be really fun as apodcast.
And it wasn't even jazz, it wasanother person that was on the
street corner with the stop signand where do you live?

Speaker 3 (01:05:45):
Well, so I was on breaks.

Speaker 12 (01:05:48):
And yeah, it was at night.
It's the night crossing.

Speaker 7 (01:05:53):
In the inland empire.

Speaker 3 (01:05:55):
Actually there's a podcast right there.

Speaker 12 (01:05:57):
Crossing guards after dark, that's what we
should call it.

Speaker 7 (01:06:01):
Oh that HBO, the hardcore fans.

Speaker 11 (01:06:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 13 (01:06:04):
Yeah, got it.

Speaker 11 (01:06:07):
Well, yeah, that would be great after dark and
then maybe he could actuallyhave a crush on someone and
that's where you get to love it.
Oh, yeah, totally, yeah,totally.

Speaker 12 (01:06:16):
Well, it's all about him, just like stalking too, so
it's actually a really dark one.

Speaker 6 (01:06:21):
Oh my gosh, you wanted your love interest, jada.

Speaker 7 (01:06:25):
That turns south real quick.

Speaker 11 (01:06:28):
This is what we get.

Speaker 12 (01:06:29):
Yeah, it's not really me cute at that point.

Speaker 7 (01:06:33):
Oh, there's no meeting.

Speaker 9 (01:06:35):
Well, one person's meeting Restraining order yeah,
restraining order.

Speaker 12 (01:06:40):
Cute, I like that, that's good.

Speaker 6 (01:06:43):
It sounds exactly like my life.

Speaker 7 (01:06:46):
Wait, it sounds like there's a lot of honking and
something going on there.

Speaker 6 (01:06:51):
Tim, are you in your car?

Speaker 7 (01:06:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 11 (01:06:53):
I see a couple of crossing guards out there and
there's something right.
You know I might.

Speaker 6 (01:06:57):
What are the odds of that?

Speaker 11 (01:07:00):
I'm just listen.
I have to go outside for I'llbe right back.
We understand BRB, okay, Okay.

Speaker 6 (01:07:05):
It's got to get some source material.

Speaker 7 (01:07:07):
That's what I was thinking.

Speaker 6 (01:07:09):
Oh jazz, how are things with you?

Speaker 12 (01:07:12):
I'm doing okay.
You just left me in the caralone here and it's looking
pretty grisly out there.
What do you see?

Speaker 6 (01:07:20):
Yeah, give us a description.

Speaker 12 (01:07:23):
Oh God, yeah, Jim left his phone here.
I'm just going to go and checkand just make sure he's okay,
because Makes total sense, I'llhide the front post here.
Yeah, that's what the J&Jstands for is panger.

Speaker 6 (01:07:33):
That's a Garoual tradition, right.

Speaker 12 (01:07:37):
Exactly, exactly.
Yeah, we have a lot oftraditions that end up badly,
but I'll be right back.

Speaker 6 (01:07:44):
They'll be fine, Jim.
Yeah, now they will.

Speaker 7 (01:07:46):
I mean they're in a.
They just left a car.
It's not only they're like athome, where it's less safe.

Speaker 3 (01:07:52):
Oh God that doesn't sound good.
Jim.

Speaker 7 (01:07:57):
I don't think you hear him from there again.

Speaker 12 (01:08:01):
Oh, I forgot my phone.
I got it All right, see youguys.

Speaker 6 (01:08:09):
This is the song you guys died to.

Speaker 1 (01:08:39):
I'm glad I didn't love you better.
Well, it's a little too latenow, so I'm drinking alone.
No, I shouldn't I pick up thephone.
I really shouldn't.
I text you.
Come on, please, just come home.

(01:09:03):
I know it's not good for me todwell on this.
Don't know if heaven is real,but hell is.
I swear.
If I could have anything out atone wish, do you have any with
me?
But I'm drinking alone.

(01:09:24):
I know I shouldn't I pick upthe phone.
I really shouldn't.
I text you.
Come on, please, just come home.
Everyone tells me I gotta live,gotta move on now that you are

(01:09:47):
gone, but they're not the onesunderneath in the rain by a
gravestone.
So I close my eyes.
Then I see you keep living thislife, cause I need you.

(01:10:07):
I can't say goodbye.
This can't be goodbye.
So I drink alone, though Ishouldn't keep calling your
phone.
I really shouldn't.
I text you.

(01:10:31):
Come on, come on.

Speaker 6 (01:10:38):
Come on, come on, that was Drinking Alone by Frank
.
You can catch Frank on Spotifyand on all social media,
including Twitter, facebook andInstagram.

Speaker 7 (01:11:00):
What's going on outside?
Sandy's hissing at something.

Speaker 6 (01:11:06):
What is that?

Speaker 7 (01:11:07):
I don't know she's hissing at the water.
Why is she hissing at the water?
Get back from there, come here,sandy.

Speaker 6 (01:11:16):
Is there something coming out from the water onto
the?

Speaker 7 (01:11:20):
I don't know, but get some Onto the mainland.
Sandy get over here.
Okay, okay, well, I've got her.
What the hell is that, Sandy?

Speaker 6 (01:11:29):
it's okay.
Well, I'm worried, but we'reout of time, gina, so stay tuned
for the afternoon drive timeshow On the road with Red.
We're gonna play you Guys OutWith we Alive by Cosmograph and
hopefully we will be alive nexttime.

Speaker 7 (01:11:48):
I hope so.

Speaker 10 (01:14:50):
Well, I mean, like you wouldn't try it right, it's
like the, it's like theinevitable question If you could
travel through time, would youhave sex with yourself?
I really have.