November 16, 2023 • 15 mins
The season two premiere finds Mike in a bewildering and perplexing situation, wallowing in a bleak and unlit place, unsure of where he is and how he got there. His clouded memory slowly returns as he begins to fully realize his predicament.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Greetings fellow, patriots.
Welcome back to season two ofthe Crossing Guard Tapes.
We are coming to you from anundisclosed location.
What you are about to hear istrue.
This is an unauthorized accounttaken from the diary of Mike
Limbo after he was kidnapped andforced to join a deep state
(00:23):
organization known as the Guardsof the Realm.
Since then, mike has beenhiding in the shadows, living
underground.
He desperately longs toresurface and tell his side of
the story.
Help us to help Mike re-emergefrom the darkness.
Help us shine the light.
Join us as we bring you episodeseven of the Crossing Guard
(00:48):
Tapes.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
It's dark.
I can barely make out anyshapes, maybe I can't.
It's frustrating because myeyes can't seem to adjust to the
light.
I have a dark, whatever.
(01:24):
A deep, rumbling sound ispulsating far away somewhere.
It's a vagina slamming a 10 tonsledgehammer against the walls
that'll slab at the bottom ofthe ocean.
Oh, it's far away.
(01:45):
I can feel each and every thudin my body.
The sound doesn't go away,though.
It builds faster and louder.
As the sound becomes clearerand more intense.
Soon it's taken over all mysenses and I can't escape it.
(02:12):
Pounding, pounding, pounding.
The giant is smashing my brainsto bits with this god damned
hammer.
Stop it.
That's when it dawns on me thatI've been sleeping.
(02:36):
I wake up and the light hits melike a freight train right
between the eyes.
Ah, fuck.
I look around the room and Ihave no fucking clue where I am.
How did I get?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
here, Disturbing.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
What the fuck?
Lying on a cot in a room thatlooks an awful lot like a jail
cell, complete with bars and atiny slit window high up on the
wall.
Everything else the floors, thewalls, the ceiling are all
(03:21):
concrete.
There's a toilet in the middleof the room too.
Funny thing is, I didn't evenremember getting arrested, but
then I noticed the dead silence.
There didn't seem to be anyoneelse around, no signs of life,
(03:44):
as quiet as a tomb, not a singlesolitary squeak or peep or
creak.
Nothing, not a.
I called out to see if anyonewas out there, but no one
(04:04):
answered.
Hello.
My mouth was parched, drier thana desert.
God, it hurt to speak, but Idid anyway A little louder.
Hello, is anybody there?
(04:26):
My voice must have echoed forabout an hour, sounded like a
huge gymnasium, but it felt morelike a huge, empty concrete
prison, cold, miserable.
Finally I began screaming atthe top of my lungs hey, you
(04:51):
fuckers, I want my phone call.
Nothing, that's the law youknow.
I know my rights.
Everyone gets to make one phonecall and I want it now.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
NOOOOOO.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
My vocal cords were totally shredded.
I couldn't have screamed againif I wanted to.
I coughed and a little bloodtrickled out of my mouth.
Eventually, a guard appearedaround the corner, followed by a
few orderlies dressed in white.
One of the orderlies aimed agun at my thigh and fired
(05:41):
something into my leg Not abullet, but something.
I remember giving him thefinger and then getting very,
very sleepy.
I told him where he could shoveit.
Shove it up, yeah.
(06:01):
And then I took another nap,november 3rd 1988.
(06:47):
I have no idea how long I wasunconscious for, but it felt
like years.
I kept dreaming that I wasthirsty as hell.
My mouth was parched bone dry.
I would get up, go to the sink,get a glass of water, but no
(07:10):
matter how much I turned thefaucet, I could only get a
little drop of water to come out.
I kept turning it and turningit, but nothing would happen.
Finally I turned it so muchthat the spigot broke off.
Water went shooting up instreams, but for some reason I
(07:32):
couldn't get my mouth inposition to drink the water.
No matter where I moved, thewater would shoot off in a
different direction.
It was driving me crazy.
But then I remember seeing alight.
It was very dim at first, butthen it became very intense
(07:55):
until it was practicallyblinding me.
I woke up with a bunch ofdoctors peering down at me.
The fuck are you looking at?
They had some kind of spotlightshining right in my fucking
face.
They were mumbling stuff toeach other that I couldn't
understand.
I remember seeing a hand pullaway from my face.
(08:16):
It was holding some sort of gasmask contraption.
I have to get out, I have toget up, I have to go.
Suddenly, I was wide awake.
I tried to escape, but my legsand arms were tied down with
leather straps.
I struggled a little, but Igave up.
It was no use.
They had me good.
I felt like screaming for help,but they had already gagged me
(08:41):
and strapped a muzzle on forgood measure.
After a while, one of thedoctors asked me if I was hungry
.
Hungry, I'm hungry and thirsty,thank you.
I told him, in the best waythat I could, that he could go
fuck himself.
Go fuck yourself.
He nailed me with an elbow tomy face.
This will help.
It hurt like hell and bloodgushed out of my nose.
(09:06):
Pretty sure he broke it,motherfucker.
I had the last laugh over thatone, though, thanks to me, his
elbow was covered with blood.
Who's laughing now?
Fuckface, fuck you, fuck him,fuck all of them.
(09:45):
November 4th 1988.
When I woke up, I was in astraight jacket, hanging by my
feet from the ceiling of myself,just like a deanie.
I had a headache before.
There was nothing compared tothe one I'm experiencing now
(10:06):
Fucking head, feeling extremelynauseous and hungry and thirsty
at the same time.
My brain feels like a hundredChevy pickup trucks are driving
(10:27):
over it again and again andagain.
Fuck.
I tried to get the attention ofthe guard, but he pushed a
button and the orderliesreappeared.
One of them had a cattle prodand the other had a taser.
You want some?
(10:47):
I decided not to fight at thistime.
I'm in pain, a lot of pain.
This time, when the guard askedme if I was ready to cooperate,
I nodded yes.
They untied my feet and droppedme onto a gurney.
(11:10):
Then they wheeled me into adifferent room where they fed me
chicken soup and apple juice.
Since I was still wrapped up inthe straight jacket, an orderly
had to feed me with a spoon.
I asked for an aspirin and theygave me a couple of Tylenols.
I swallowed them and fell backto sleep.
(11:36):
November 10, 1988.
(11:59):
After a few days of doingnothing but eating, sleeping and
shitting in a bedpan, a doctorcame to see me.
Pretty sure this was the sameguy that knocked me out with his
elbow.
He looked and acted more like afucking prison warden than a
doctor, since huge is a wrestlerand just by his tone of voice
(12:24):
he let me know that I better nottry to fuck with him again.
He asked me if I was ready tocalm down enough for them to
take the straight jacket off.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Are you ready to settle down?
I'm warning you, pull any morecrap and you'll be back in your
cell in a straight jackethanging by your feet again.
Got that?
Speaker 2 (12:43):
They had me beat for now.
I promised myself that I wouldmake these fuckers pay one day,
but for the time being I need tochill out and play for time.
November 20, 1988.
(13:07):
I'm finally calming down some.
I have no other choice really.
Anyways, the people here aretaking care of me and all the
weird thing is that no one willtell me where we are or why I'm
even here in the first place.
I think I'm in some kind ofprison hospital, but none of the
(13:28):
doctors will tell me anything.
They just come in to check mypulse and jam a thermometer up
my ass.
Just my luck, None of theorderlies that come in to bring
me food or to change the sheetsare allowed to speak to me
either.
I just hope my trial is safe.
I really don't want to spendthe rest of my life here.
I have to admit, the food hereisn't half bad.
(13:51):
If I could get a TV in here Iwouldn't mind it so much.
The lady that came in thismorning to change my sheets was
fucking hot.
I'll be looking her up when Iget out of here.
I wish someone would tell mewhat the hell's going on.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
You have just heard episode 7 of the Crossing Guard
tapes.
We are shutting down ourtransmitter now to prevent the
DOJ from tracing our signal and,dear listeners, due to the
FBI's unrelenting effort torecover the tapes, there is a
risk that they could bemonitoring our site.
So be sure to keep a lowprofile when sharing,
(14:39):
subscribing and liking.
Until next time.
Co-conspirators, stay alive andspread the word.
The Crossing Guard tapes waswritten and produced by Jim
Waters, featuring the voicetalents of Tommy Nicolai, pat
Waters, johnny Glenn and JazzGarowall, with original music
(15:03):
from Pendulum IncorporatedTechnical support and marketing.
Courtesy of Jazz Garowall.
Deep State Chronicles.
Greetings fellow, patriots.
Welcome back to season two ofthe Crossing Guard Tapes.
We are coming to you from anundisclosed location.
What you are about to hear istrue.
This is an unauthorized accounttaken from the diary of Mike
Limbo after he was kidnapped andforced to join a deep state
(00:23):
organization known as the Guardsof the Realm.
Since then, mike has beenhiding in the shadows, living
underground.
He desperately longs toresurface and tell his side of
the story.
Help us to help Mike re-emergefrom the darkness.
Help us shine the light.
Join us as we bring you episodeseven of the Crossing Guard
(00:48):
Tapes.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
It's dark.
I can barely make out anyshapes, maybe I can't.
It's frustrating because myeyes can't seem to adjust to the
light.
I have a dark, whatever.
(01:24):
A deep, rumbling sound ispulsating far away somewhere.
It's a vagina slamming a 10 tonsledgehammer against the walls
that'll slab at the bottom ofthe ocean.
Oh, it's far away.
(01:45):
I can feel each and every thudin my body.
The sound doesn't go away,though.
It builds faster and louder.
As the sound becomes clearerand more intense.
Soon it's taken over all mysenses and I can't escape it.
(02:12):
Pounding, pounding, pounding.
The giant is smashing my brainsto bits with this god damned
hammer.
Stop it.
That's when it dawns on me thatI've been sleeping.
(02:36):
I wake up and the light hits melike a freight train right
between the eyes.
Ah, fuck.
I look around the room and Ihave no fucking clue where I am.
How did I get?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
here, Disturbing.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
What the fuck?
Lying on a cot in a room thatlooks an awful lot like a jail
cell, complete with bars and atiny slit window high up on the
wall.
Everything else the floors, thewalls, the ceiling are all
(03:21):
concrete.
There's a toilet in the middleof the room too.
Funny thing is, I didn't evenremember getting arrested, but
then I noticed the dead silence.
There didn't seem to be anyoneelse around, no signs of life,
(03:44):
as quiet as a tomb, not a singlesolitary squeak or peep or
creak.
Nothing, not a.
I called out to see if anyonewas out there, but no one
(04:04):
answered.
Hello.
My mouth was parched, drier thana desert.
God, it hurt to speak, but Idid anyway A little louder.
Hello, is anybody there?
(04:26):
My voice must have echoed forabout an hour, sounded like a
huge gymnasium, but it felt morelike a huge, empty concrete
prison, cold, miserable.
Finally I began screaming atthe top of my lungs hey, you
(04:51):
fuckers, I want my phone call.
Nothing, that's the law youknow.
I know my rights.
Everyone gets to make one phonecall and I want it now.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
NOOOOOO.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
My vocal cords were totally shredded.
I couldn't have screamed againif I wanted to.
I coughed and a little bloodtrickled out of my mouth.
Eventually, a guard appearedaround the corner, followed by a
few orderlies dressed in white.
One of the orderlies aimed agun at my thigh and fired
(05:41):
something into my leg Not abullet, but something.
I remember giving him thefinger and then getting very,
very sleepy.
I told him where he could shoveit.
Shove it up, yeah.
(06:01):
And then I took another nap,november 3rd 1988.
(06:47):
I have no idea how long I wasunconscious for, but it felt
like years.
I kept dreaming that I wasthirsty as hell.
My mouth was parched bone dry.
I would get up, go to the sink,get a glass of water, but no
(07:10):
matter how much I turned thefaucet, I could only get a
little drop of water to come out.
I kept turning it and turningit, but nothing would happen.
Finally I turned it so muchthat the spigot broke off.
Water went shooting up instreams, but for some reason I
(07:32):
couldn't get my mouth inposition to drink the water.
No matter where I moved, thewater would shoot off in a
different direction.
It was driving me crazy.
But then I remember seeing alight.
It was very dim at first, butthen it became very intense
(07:55):
until it was practicallyblinding me.
I woke up with a bunch ofdoctors peering down at me.
The fuck are you looking at?
They had some kind of spotlightshining right in my fucking
face.
They were mumbling stuff toeach other that I couldn't
understand.
I remember seeing a hand pullaway from my face.
(08:16):
It was holding some sort of gasmask contraption.
I have to get out, I have toget up, I have to go.
Suddenly, I was wide awake.
I tried to escape, but my legsand arms were tied down with
leather straps.
I struggled a little, but Igave up.
It was no use.
They had me good.
I felt like screaming for help,but they had already gagged me
(08:41):
and strapped a muzzle on forgood measure.
After a while, one of thedoctors asked me if I was hungry
.
Hungry, I'm hungry and thirsty,thank you.
I told him, in the best waythat I could, that he could go
fuck himself.
Go fuck yourself.
He nailed me with an elbow tomy face.
This will help.
It hurt like hell and bloodgushed out of my nose.
(09:06):
Pretty sure he broke it,motherfucker.
I had the last laugh over thatone, though, thanks to me, his
elbow was covered with blood.
Who's laughing now?
Fuckface, fuck you, fuck him,fuck all of them.
(09:45):
November 4th 1988.
When I woke up, I was in astraight jacket, hanging by my
feet from the ceiling of myself,just like a deanie.
I had a headache before.
There was nothing compared tothe one I'm experiencing now
(10:06):
Fucking head, feeling extremelynauseous and hungry and thirsty
at the same time.
My brain feels like a hundredChevy pickup trucks are driving
(10:27):
over it again and again andagain.
Fuck.
I tried to get the attention ofthe guard, but he pushed a
button and the orderliesreappeared.
One of them had a cattle prodand the other had a taser.
You want some?
(10:47):
I decided not to fight at thistime.
I'm in pain, a lot of pain.
This time, when the guard askedme if I was ready to cooperate,
I nodded yes.
They untied my feet and droppedme onto a gurney.
(11:10):
Then they wheeled me into adifferent room where they fed me
chicken soup and apple juice.
Since I was still wrapped up inthe straight jacket, an orderly
had to feed me with a spoon.
I asked for an aspirin and theygave me a couple of Tylenols.
I swallowed them and fell backto sleep.
(11:36):
November 10, 1988.
(11:59):
After a few days of doingnothing but eating, sleeping and
shitting in a bedpan, a doctorcame to see me.
Pretty sure this was the sameguy that knocked me out with his
elbow.
He looked and acted more like afucking prison warden than a
doctor, since huge is a wrestlerand just by his tone of voice
(12:24):
he let me know that I better nottry to fuck with him again.
He asked me if I was ready tocalm down enough for them to
take the straight jacket off.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Are you ready to settle down?
I'm warning you, pull any morecrap and you'll be back in your
cell in a straight jackethanging by your feet again.
Got that?
Speaker 2 (12:43):
They had me beat for now.
I promised myself that I wouldmake these fuckers pay one day,
but for the time being I need tochill out and play for time.
November 20, 1988.
(13:07):
I'm finally calming down some.
I have no other choice really.
Anyways, the people here aretaking care of me and all the
weird thing is that no one willtell me where we are or why I'm
even here in the first place.
I think I'm in some kind ofprison hospital, but none of the
(13:28):
doctors will tell me anything.
They just come in to check mypulse and jam a thermometer up
my ass.
Just my luck, None of theorderlies that come in to bring
me food or to change the sheetsare allowed to speak to me
either.
I just hope my trial is safe.
I really don't want to spendthe rest of my life here.
I have to admit, the food hereisn't half bad.
(13:51):
If I could get a TV in here Iwouldn't mind it so much.
The lady that came in thismorning to change my sheets was
fucking hot.
I'll be looking her up when Iget out of here.
I wish someone would tell mewhat the hell's going on.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
You have just heard episode 7 of the Crossing Guard
tapes.
We are shutting down ourtransmitter now to prevent the
DOJ from tracing our signal and,dear listeners, due to the
FBI's unrelenting effort torecover the tapes, there is a
risk that they could bemonitoring our site.
So be sure to keep a lowprofile when sharing,
(14:39):
subscribing and liking.
Until next time.
Co-conspirators, stay alive andspread the word.
The Crossing Guard tapes waswritten and produced by Jim
Waters, featuring the voicetalents of Tommy Nicolai, pat
Waters, johnny Glenn and JazzGarowall, with original music
(15:03):
from Pendulum IncorporatedTechnical support and marketing.
Courtesy of Jazz Garowall.
Deep State Chronicles.
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