October 7, 2025 • 11 mins
In episode 112 of the Curate Your Life podcast, Temetria focuses on step two of the 'Curate Your Life' process: subtracting or eliminating what does not fit your vision. Using relatable analogies, she emphasizes the importance of identifying and removing people, experiences, and items that don't align with the vision you have for your life. Temetria also discusses the challenges of making tough decisions and offers practical advice on minimizing interactions that don't contribute to your vision. Finally, she encourages listeners to evaluate their motivations and provides inspiration for living a life true to oneself.
00:00 Introduction to the Curate Your Life Podcast
00:40 Recap and Introduction to Step Two
01:15 Identifying What Doesn't Fit Your Vision
03:26 Making Tough Choices for Your Vision
05:24 Practical Examples of Subtraction
09:51 Embracing Change and Joy
11:01 Conclusion and Next Steps
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You're listening to the CurateYour Life podcast with Temetria
episode 112.
Temetria (00:09):
Hi, I'm Temetria a single woman in midlife.
But not quite ready for theMoomoo life.
I'm focused on curating a lifethat I love.
A life that is bold and vibrantand full of purpose.
And I'm passionate about helpingother women do the same.
So join me.
If you're ready to create curatea big, bold, beautiful life that
(00:35):
you love.
Welcome back to the podcast.
This is episode two of The DeepDive Into the Curate Your Life
Process.
So if you haven't listened topart one yet, I encourage you to
go back and do so, so that youget an understanding of the
process and the steps in order,because I'm just gonna dive in
(00:58):
here.
I'm gonna go straight in.
So last week I talked about stepone, the vision, and this week
we're going to look at step two.
And that is subtracting oreliminating or stopping what
does not fit the vision.
So at this point in the process,you've done the work to get very
(01:19):
clear on your vision.
It should be very detailed.
Um, like a very detailed pictureor scene in your mind and really
in your body.
You should be able to feel it inyour bones.
When you think about what youwant and the life that you want
to live, that vision that youcreated, when you think about
(01:40):
it, you should be able to feelit.
So knowing what you want,knowing what that picture is
means knowing what you don'twant, what doesn't fit that
vision in your head?
What sticks out like a sorethumb.
So I want you to think back tothe lessons that we had in
kindergarten when you hadpictures of four different
things and you had to circle theone that didn't belong in the
(02:03):
set.
So for example, think of like anorange, an apple.
A dish towel and a banana.
The dish towel is not going togo in your fruit basket or think
of it as having a very modernchic home with a sofa that has
very clean straight lines, aflat screen TV that disappears
(02:27):
into the credenza when you'renot using it.
A chic coffee table.
With lace doilies, the doiliesare gonna look outta place in
that space.
And there's nothing wrong withthe dish towel.
They obviously come in veryhandy and you need them, and
there is a space for doilies.
For someone who wants a cozycountry, comfy home.
(02:52):
That may be the space fordoilies.
For someone who wants a chic,elegant, minimalist home, that's
not the space.
So step two is about identifyingand removing the things that
don't fit the vision.
You really wanna think about itlike this.
You wanna make a list of thepeople, the experiences, the
(03:15):
things that you need to subtractor let go of, or eliminate or
stop doing to create thatvision.
So let's talk about this.
'cause it can be tough when youhave someone you love give you
something for your home thatthey expect to see the next time
that they visit and it doesn'tfit your home or your decor, or
(03:38):
it's just something that youdon't like and you feel like you
have to keep it in the closetand remember to bring it out
when they're around.
So imagine if curating.
Your life and creating yourvision means not having someone
in your life.
Imagine that, not just the stuffthat they gave you, maybe not
(03:58):
having them in your life.
If you have this vision for yourlife and in that vision that
you've created, you realize thatthe perfectly nice guy that
you're dating does not fit thatpicture.
It may be tough to stop datinghim.
But if you are absolutelycertain about your vision and
your why, and you know that thatperson does not fit, then you
(04:21):
have to take the steps to removethat person from the picture.
And it sounds bad, but you needto make room for the person
who's gonna fit that dream.
And you could be thinking, butwhat if they don't come?
And I mean it's a possibility,but what if you settle and
you're with Mr.
Mediocre?
And when I say mediocre, I meanfor your vision.
(04:42):
I'm not talking about the personbeing mediocre, I'm talking
about him being mediocre foryour vision.
He may be Mr.
Wonderful for somebody else, butwhat if you're settling and
you're with him and your Mr.
Wright comes along and there'sno space for him.
So you have to be willing to.
(05:05):
Make the changes to create thevision.
And yes, there are compromisesand it takes work to make
relationships work.
But if you're with someone whochecks two of the 20 boxes on
your list, you're notcompromising your settling.
And this is about creating yourdream life.
And I'll go back to the analogythat I had from last week about
(05:27):
the museum that's featuring acollection until, let's say it's
a collection of Renaissancepieces that this museum has so
imagine that they have somegreat pieces in their
collection, but the Mona Lisabecomes available.
They're gonna make room for theMona Lisa.
They don't have to make a lot ofroom, obviously,'cause it's not
very big.
(05:47):
But they're going to probablymove things around, take pieces
out the take pieces out of thecollection to be able to put her
front and center and put aspotlight on her because that's
widely known as one of the greatpieces by one of the great
Renaissance artists.
(06:08):
So they're gonna put her frontand center.
Your life.
The one you created in thatvision has limited wall space.
Not everything is going to fit,and you're gonna have to decide
whether to go with a nice tohave or to make room for and
allow only the pièce derésistance And this is not just
(06:29):
about dating.
It can be about that job whereyou spend 50 to 60 hours a week.
Creating the life that you lovecould mean cutting down to 40
hours.
It could mean finding somethingdifferent, it can mean pursuing
a position that you've beendreaming of.
No matter how comfortable youare in that job, it can mean
(06:51):
stepping down to a lowerposition so you have time for
joy and you eliminate stress inyour life.
Eliminating things that don'tfit.
The vision can be as simple as,I have a vision of being someone
who prioritizes my health andlongevity, and that means
(07:13):
reducing processed foods.
And remember, this is a process,so it can mean reducing
processed foods for now andmaybe eliminating them
altogether long term.
It can mean they're not in yourhouse.
And maybe you only have themwhen you're out or on special
occasions, so you are taking thesteps to create the vision.
(07:35):
So you are thinking about thevision and what doesn't fit.
So just like you looked at thatworkbook in kindergarten, you're
circling or mentally noting whatdoesn't go with the rest of the
picture.
And then you have to figure outhow to reduce, eliminate, or
stop it.
I'll give you another example.
(07:57):
What if you want a peaceful,calm life and your friend is a
drama queen, she is miss,there's always something.
Reduce the amount of time thatyou spend with her.
And you may think, well, that'smean, or that's not being a true
friend.
But think about it.
If you come away from everyinteraction, feeling like you
(08:18):
need to lay down or be saved,are you being true to yourself
and your vision?
You can choose to limit theinteractions.
If you feel like you can'ttotally stop.
Or if you don't want to totallystop seeing this person, limit
the interactions, limit yourexposure.
(08:39):
Take care of yourself.
And if you look at the list ofpeople, things, experiences that
you need to subtract or let goof or eliminate.
And you don't feel like you cando it, ask yourself why.
Ask yourself if you're willingto alter your vision and why
(09:01):
you're willing to alter yourvision.
Are you making room forgrandma's hand knitted throw
because it's super special toyou or because you wanna keep
peace with your mama?
And if it's keeping peace, areyou okay with that?
Are you okay with it?
Because it results in easiervisits.
(09:21):
You have to decide.
That's why the first step ofbeing very clear and knowing
what you want and why is soimportant, because making the
changes, subtracting things,adding things to get to that
picture, to that vision is goingto mean making some tough
(09:42):
choices and doing some hardthings.
Because if they were easy, youwould've already acted on them.
You would've already done it.
If you want to be the gracefulmermaid swimming in the pool,
you have to let go of the sideof the pool.
Something's gotta give.
Something has to change.
(10:04):
Think of this first step asmaking room for what you love.
Not everything is going to fitin your vision, and that's okay.
It's not meant to lean into thethings that create joy, that
create real joy.
Your joy.
And I will say this one lastthing.
(10:25):
When you are absolutely clearand certain about what you want
and why, eliminating whatdoesn't fit.
Is not scary.
It's freeing.
So if it feels scary, maybe youneed to spend some more time on
the vision.
Is it really your vision?
Is it really your why?
(10:48):
The benefits to other peoplewill come as a byproduct.
If you are true to yourself.
If you are living your truth andyour best life, you are a gift
to someone else.
Okay, I'm gonna leave you withthat next week.
We're gonna continue with stepthree of curating your life of
(11:09):
creating that vision.
Until next time, If you're readyto put the focus back on you and
be the star of your show, again,I invite you to join the Bend
Your Life Challenge, whereyou'll spend five days focused
on something meaningful to yourlife.
You pick the goal or the thingthat you wanna focus on, and I
(11:33):
guide you through the challenge.
And when I say challenge, I meanopportunity.
Opportunity to put on blindersand focus on what's important
and meaningful to you andcreating that in your life.
Join me for the next VentureLife challenge.
It'll be better than anythingyou can stream.
(11:54):
You can find the link to join inthe show notes.
You're listening to the CurateYour Life podcast with Temetria
episode 112.
Temetria (00:09):
Hi, I'm Temetria a single woman in midlife.
But not quite ready for theMoomoo life.
I'm focused on curating a lifethat I love.
A life that is bold and vibrantand full of purpose.
And I'm passionate about helpingother women do the same.
So join me.
If you're ready to create curatea big, bold, beautiful life that
(00:35):
you love.
Welcome back to the podcast.
This is episode two of The DeepDive Into the Curate Your Life
Process.
So if you haven't listened topart one yet, I encourage you to
go back and do so, so that youget an understanding of the
process and the steps in order,because I'm just gonna dive in
(00:58):
here.
I'm gonna go straight in.
So last week I talked about stepone, the vision, and this week
we're going to look at step two.
And that is subtracting oreliminating or stopping what
does not fit the vision.
So at this point in the process,you've done the work to get very
(01:19):
clear on your vision.
It should be very detailed.
Um, like a very detailed pictureor scene in your mind and really
in your body.
You should be able to feel it inyour bones.
When you think about what youwant and the life that you want
to live, that vision that youcreated, when you think about
(01:40):
it, you should be able to feelit.
So knowing what you want,knowing what that picture is
means knowing what you don'twant, what doesn't fit that
vision in your head?
What sticks out like a sorethumb.
So I want you to think back tothe lessons that we had in
kindergarten when you hadpictures of four different
things and you had to circle theone that didn't belong in the
(02:03):
set.
So for example, think of like anorange, an apple.
A dish towel and a banana.
The dish towel is not going togo in your fruit basket or think
of it as having a very modernchic home with a sofa that has
very clean straight lines, aflat screen TV that disappears
(02:27):
into the credenza when you'renot using it.
A chic coffee table.
With lace doilies, the doiliesare gonna look outta place in
that space.
And there's nothing wrong withthe dish towel.
They obviously come in veryhandy and you need them, and
there is a space for doilies.
For someone who wants a cozycountry, comfy home.
(02:52):
That may be the space fordoilies.
For someone who wants a chic,elegant, minimalist home, that's
not the space.
So step two is about identifyingand removing the things that
don't fit the vision.
You really wanna think about itlike this.
You wanna make a list of thepeople, the experiences, the
(03:15):
things that you need to subtractor let go of, or eliminate or
stop doing to create thatvision.
So let's talk about this.
'cause it can be tough when youhave someone you love give you
something for your home thatthey expect to see the next time
that they visit and it doesn'tfit your home or your decor, or
(03:38):
it's just something that youdon't like and you feel like you
have to keep it in the closetand remember to bring it out
when they're around.
So imagine if curating.
Your life and creating yourvision means not having someone
in your life.
Imagine that, not just the stuffthat they gave you, maybe not
(03:58):
having them in your life.
If you have this vision for yourlife and in that vision that
you've created, you realize thatthe perfectly nice guy that
you're dating does not fit thatpicture.
It may be tough to stop datinghim.
But if you are absolutelycertain about your vision and
your why, and you know that thatperson does not fit, then you
(04:21):
have to take the steps to removethat person from the picture.
And it sounds bad, but you needto make room for the person
who's gonna fit that dream.
And you could be thinking, butwhat if they don't come?
And I mean it's a possibility,but what if you settle and
you're with Mr.
Mediocre?
And when I say mediocre, I meanfor your vision.
(04:42):
I'm not talking about the personbeing mediocre, I'm talking
about him being mediocre foryour vision.
He may be Mr.
Wonderful for somebody else, butwhat if you're settling and
you're with him and your Mr.
Wright comes along and there'sno space for him.
So you have to be willing to.
(05:05):
Make the changes to create thevision.
And yes, there are compromisesand it takes work to make
relationships work.
But if you're with someone whochecks two of the 20 boxes on
your list, you're notcompromising your settling.
And this is about creating yourdream life.
And I'll go back to the analogythat I had from last week about
(05:27):
the museum that's featuring acollection until, let's say it's
a collection of Renaissancepieces that this museum has so
imagine that they have somegreat pieces in their
collection, but the Mona Lisabecomes available.
They're gonna make room for theMona Lisa.
They don't have to make a lot ofroom, obviously,'cause it's not
very big.
(05:47):
But they're going to probablymove things around, take pieces
out the take pieces out of thecollection to be able to put her
front and center and put aspotlight on her because that's
widely known as one of the greatpieces by one of the great
Renaissance artists.
(06:08):
So they're gonna put her frontand center.
Your life.
The one you created in thatvision has limited wall space.
Not everything is going to fit,and you're gonna have to decide
whether to go with a nice tohave or to make room for and
allow only the pièce derésistance And this is not just
(06:29):
about dating.
It can be about that job whereyou spend 50 to 60 hours a week.
Creating the life that you lovecould mean cutting down to 40
hours.
It could mean finding somethingdifferent, it can mean pursuing
a position that you've beendreaming of.
No matter how comfortable youare in that job, it can mean
(06:51):
stepping down to a lowerposition so you have time for
joy and you eliminate stress inyour life.
Eliminating things that don'tfit.
The vision can be as simple as,I have a vision of being someone
who prioritizes my health andlongevity, and that means
(07:13):
reducing processed foods.
And remember, this is a process,so it can mean reducing
processed foods for now andmaybe eliminating them
altogether long term.
It can mean they're not in yourhouse.
And maybe you only have themwhen you're out or on special
occasions, so you are taking thesteps to create the vision.
(07:35):
So you are thinking about thevision and what doesn't fit.
So just like you looked at thatworkbook in kindergarten, you're
circling or mentally noting whatdoesn't go with the rest of the
picture.
And then you have to figure outhow to reduce, eliminate, or
stop it.
I'll give you another example.
(07:57):
What if you want a peaceful,calm life and your friend is a
drama queen, she is miss,there's always something.
Reduce the amount of time thatyou spend with her.
And you may think, well, that'smean, or that's not being a true
friend.
But think about it.
If you come away from everyinteraction, feeling like you
(08:18):
need to lay down or be saved,are you being true to yourself
and your vision?
You can choose to limit theinteractions.
If you feel like you can'ttotally stop.
Or if you don't want to totallystop seeing this person, limit
the interactions, limit yourexposure.
(08:39):
Take care of yourself.
And if you look at the list ofpeople, things, experiences that
you need to subtract or let goof or eliminate.
And you don't feel like you cando it, ask yourself why.
Ask yourself if you're willingto alter your vision and why
(09:01):
you're willing to alter yourvision.
Are you making room forgrandma's hand knitted throw
because it's super special toyou or because you wanna keep
peace with your mama?
And if it's keeping peace, areyou okay with that?
Are you okay with it?
Because it results in easiervisits.
(09:21):
You have to decide.
That's why the first step ofbeing very clear and knowing
what you want and why is soimportant, because making the
changes, subtracting things,adding things to get to that
picture, to that vision is goingto mean making some tough
(09:42):
choices and doing some hardthings.
Because if they were easy, youwould've already acted on them.
You would've already done it.
If you want to be the gracefulmermaid swimming in the pool,
you have to let go of the sideof the pool.
Something's gotta give.
Something has to change.
(10:04):
Think of this first step asmaking room for what you love.
Not everything is going to fitin your vision, and that's okay.
It's not meant to lean into thethings that create joy, that
create real joy.
Your joy.
And I will say this one lastthing.
(10:25):
When you are absolutely clearand certain about what you want
and why, eliminating whatdoesn't fit.
Is not scary.
It's freeing.
So if it feels scary, maybe youneed to spend some more time on
the vision.
Is it really your vision?
Is it really your why?
(10:48):
The benefits to other peoplewill come as a byproduct.
If you are true to yourself.
If you are living your truth andyour best life, you are a gift
to someone else.
Okay, I'm gonna leave you withthat next week.
We're gonna continue with stepthree of curating your life of
(11:09):
creating that vision.
Until next time, If you're readyto put the focus back on you and
be the star of your show, again,I invite you to join the Bend
Your Life Challenge, whereyou'll spend five days focused
on something meaningful to yourlife.
You pick the goal or the thingthat you wanna focus on, and I
(11:33):
guide you through the challenge.
And when I say challenge, I meanopportunity.
Opportunity to put on blindersand focus on what's important
and meaningful to you andcreating that in your life.
Join me for the next VentureLife challenge.
It'll be better than anythingyou can stream.
(11:54):
You can find the link to join inthe show notes.
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