October 29, 2025 • 24 mins
We open up FAMILY Dynamics with a candid mother–daughter talk on how roles change, definitions expand, and belonging is something we build on purpose. Stories from a month packed with reunions and surprises reveal why chosen kin, blended homes, and community ties can be challenging, but matter. Below are some highlights on the this show:
• redefining family beyond law or bloodlines
• blended family realities and connection
• categories of family
• acceptance that family evolves over time
Links for this Show:
Intro to Family Dynamics Video
Vehicle Video #69: My Favourite Categories of Family and More
Family Dynamics: Embracing Connection and Understanding Blog
DynaTools for Aligning with Family Dynamics: The Johnsons’ Story Blog
Send us a text about the show!
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✨ What's next?
We challenge you to take action: share this episode with someone who needs it, or explore our past recordings to keep the conversation alive. Your dynamic journey doesn’t stop here—there’s so much more waiting for you! We invite you to Subscribe. Follow. Share. Support. Shift.
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Note: All content is for informational and entertainment purposes.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
And welcome to the dynamic show where personal
development and wellness meetsreal life.
I'm Mariana, your host, here toremind you that flowing through
each one of us is a dynamicenergy that is ours to use every
(00:21):
single day.
If you're endlessly curiousabout what's possible and your
choices to create your life bydesign on your terms, this
podcast is for you.
The dynamic show empowerscreative thinkers and
(00:41):
intentional doers to move beyondcookie cutter advice and uncover
their unique path to balanced,inspired, dynamic daily living.
We know there's no one size fitsall past, so let's uncover the
reason you are here.
Tune in and let's explore what'spossible together.
(01:04):
Our discussion recording todaywill be about our new dynamic
for the month, family dynamics.
And before we get into why thissubject, let me have the
opportunity to introduce you ifyou have never heard our podcast
before to our guest, Makota.
SPEAKER_00 (01:29):
Nice to have me here, I guess.
SPEAKER_01 (01:31):
Yes, it's very nice to have you here.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
And welcome, welcome, welcome.
If you are unfamiliar who Makotais and how she fits into this
dynamic show in the dynamicsseries and kid dynamics, you can
go to our website,dynamicseries.com, and then look
(01:53):
to contact us and meet us, andyou will find her full story
there.
Unless you wanted to spend timetelling your whole story.
SPEAKER_00 (02:01):
Well, I don't know about that, but I think it's
very fitting.
I'm here for the familydynamics.
SPEAKER_01 (02:05):
The family dynamics, that's right.
For those that don't know, weare family.
There's so many differentcategories of family.
We are family by I'm the mom,she's a daughter.
Although sometimes she acts likethe mom, and I like to have fun
and act like the daughter.
(02:26):
That sounds about right.
It's interesting how we weswitch roles sometimes in life.
Like as you're adulting now,because you're 26, that
sometimes you take on that roleof caretaker instead of us.
You know, like if I'm notfeeling well, you'll take over
that caretaker role of how youwere sort of taken care of, or
(02:51):
if I need some advice, becauseshe's been an advisor for us for
a long time with this wholedynamic series.
And how do you feel about doingthat?
Being that we're in family, andit's sometimes it can be very
sensitive or dynamic, or there'sso many moving parts when it
(03:12):
comes to a mother-daughterrelationship and work.
SPEAKER_00 (03:15):
Well, I think that the sentence of f family
dynamics is a very good way todescribe family, is that it is
very dynamic, it changes all thetime, and us being mother and
daughter looks very differentfrom other people that are
mother and daughter, or the waythat we act, and that that's all
unique to your own familydynamic.
And I think that's why we'retalking about it today.
SPEAKER_01 (03:36):
Yes.
That is such a good point.
So thanks for sharing that.
Is that there is no right or wayor wrong way to do it?
I mean, I'm sure there'sprobably a wrong way, but I
mean, but that would just besomeone's opinion because, like
we said in the beginning,there's no one size fits all
path.
(03:57):
So how does one know the way youwe do family and the way someone
else does family, that it'seither right or wrong or better
or worse, or you know, this isthe way you're supposed to do
it, because there is no supposedto in this life.
There's choices all along theway.
Yes.
And we're all learning.
You know that you have to makesome choices along the way, and
(04:20):
not everyone's going to agreewith it.
So that's okay.
Exactly right.
I agree.
And what I love about the familydynamics too is that as for
those that do have children, asthey grow up and then they have
children, they completelyunderstand the the whole dynamic
(04:46):
of why sometimes the parent orthe guardian or the whoever's
taking care of the kids may haveacted the way that they did.
So why this subject?
Well it's part of the uhdynamics series on
dynamicsseries.com, and sofamily is just you know the next
(05:07):
one that was in in the series togo over.
And if you've listened to myvehicle video, it's on YouTube
and on social media, you'llunderstand that it's funny
because when we pick whichdynamic we're doing for each
month throughout the whole year,and family landed in October,
(05:29):
and it is the month that I haveseen, or we have seen, the most
family that we haven't seen fora long time.
Like we've done a couple trips,it was my husband's 60th
birthday, all that stuff.
We've seen different familymembers and traveled to see them
and stuff than we have ever seenin one month before.
(05:52):
We even had a family member thatwasn't even supposed to come and
stay with us, stay with us.
Yes, right.
You know, who would have known?
I mean, the universe just set itall up.
So it's like, oh, you want totalk about family dynamics and
some of the dynamics thathappens in family?
Well, here, let's give you anopportunity.
Yeah, I love it.
I love it.
(06:12):
It never just happens, it'salways set up.
The universe knows, got yourback and knows what to do to
help you have a more meaningfulexperience in these dynamics.
So that is why we cover thesubject.
And although we're already a fewminutes into this, I always like
to set the tone for our timetogether, as it's more than just
(06:35):
a podcast.
What we focus on expands.
So let's just take a moment tocenter ourselves, be fully
present, and listen with an openheart and mind.
So to start, let me ask youthis, Makoda, given the title of
the show, which is probablyIntro to Family Dynamics, how
(06:59):
can you relate to that inyourself and where you are in
your life?
SPEAKER_00 (07:05):
That's a very big question.
I mean, I think that being ableto go and understand family
dynamics is such an importantpart of my journey as a person.
And I think that being able togo over it with everyone,
including you, and with thispodcast is really nice because I
know that as I get older, myidea of family changes so much.
(07:27):
And my idea of who is part of myfamily or who is the most
important part of my family, orwhat it looks like, and changes
so drastically from when, even afew months ago, or maybe even a
few years ago.
So being able to go over andkind of understand how that
shaped me and to put light onit, especially like we said that
a lot of people were coming thatwere part of our family.
(07:49):
I think it's very important thatyou can kind of take that moment
and think about it that way.
SPEAKER_01 (07:53):
Yeah.
That's good because we we we dida blog, and if you haven't
looked at the blog yet, there isso m like not only the blog, but
we also did it in a video.
There's so many differentcategories of family.
Yes.
Very much so.
(08:15):
To our listeners, can youunderstand that?
Like who is your family?
Who who do you consider yourfamily?
Let's just go over a few ofthose different categories.
And I'm sure we haven't evencovered all of them.
We're just covering some ofthem, just to give you that
definition of how family as weknew it maybe many, many, many
(08:41):
years ago, was either usually byblood ties or marriage or
something like that, has justevolved so much more.
SPEAKER_00 (08:49):
Yes.
And I think a lot of the time wedon't always think about what it
is.
So, as an example, extendedfamily is one that we really
don't always think about.
Do we think of our day-to-daylives and having our
grandparents, aunts, uncles, andcousins in our lives as our
family?
Of course, they are our family,but that might not be the first
thing that we think about whenwe consider our family.
(09:10):
It's probably your parents, thepeople that raised you, or your
siblings.
But for some people, it's alsotheir close friends, or you
know, maybe their cats and theirdogs and their animals being
part of their family.
Or for maybe an older couple,they might just see themselves
as their only family, or theperson that they're married to
as their only part of theirfamily.
(09:32):
So as you go throughout youryears and when you're born to
when, you know, you make yourtransition, the idea of what
your family is changes sodrastically because of all the
life events that you go through.
And that continues to change,and it's changing in an
unexpected way every second,really.
And you might think aboutsomeone that you've never
thought about before as yourfamily, and then that might
(09:53):
change.
SPEAKER_01 (09:54):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (09:54):
That's the beautiful part about it.
SPEAKER_01 (09:56):
Yes, because in the vehicle video that I did, and
and like you mentioned, is I hadI said that my top three
categories of family for me wasmy chosen family.
For me, my chosen family is isnot only the family that's close
to me, even though there is somefamily members that you know we
(10:17):
may not associate with becauseone, they're either away,
they're distant, or or forwhatever reason, but then
there's also the chosen friendsthat we have become made our
family as well.
And then how about the blendedfamily?
We're a blended family.
Yes.
And so anyone that's been partof a blended family, sometimes
(10:40):
it can be a challenge becausewhether that's through a death
of a loved one or whether that'sthrough a divorce or through
like some kind of separation,blended families, like
especially if there's otherchildren involved, you know,
that you're trying to bring intwo whole, and depending on what
ages the kids are, like thatthat's sort of our story here is
(11:03):
we came together, even though myhusband and I knew each other in
grade nine and we were firstloves, we were together for a
while, we split.
When we came back togetheragain, then we blended our
family many years later.
And you know, sometimes it's achallenge.
What do you think about thatwhole experience of having being
(11:25):
a blended family?
And I will say something firstbefore you say it, because then
there's that whole like, well,you're not in my you're not my
real family.
You're not in and that's whatwe're getting at is like we have
to look at the definition ofwhat families are, and there's
so much more than that wordsupposed to be, or what we've
(11:45):
been influenced to think afamily actually is.
SPEAKER_00 (11:49):
Yes, and I I think even over definitions, it's a
lot on feelings as well.
I have aunts and uncles thatI've haven't talked to in years
or seen in years.
And do I feel that they'resupposed to be close to me just
because they're my first inquotation family and not my
extended family or my blendedfamily?
(12:09):
Not necessarily.
And so, me growing up having tobe in a blended family and also
being in a relationship withsomeone that also has a blended
family, there's a lot of extralayers on top of all these new
aunts and uncles and siblingsand grandparents.
And without all of that, or withall of that, you still have to
(12:30):
feel who is important in thosesituations and who are you
talking to and who are youthinking about, and how do you
make them part of your life ifyou are put into a situation
where you get new familymembers?
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (12:44):
And and how do you even feel about that, you know?
Because I mean, straight upblending our families, like how
did I mean there were somechallenges.
SPEAKER_00 (12:55):
Yeah, I think it's hard to know what to feel,
really.
I mean, especially for me,because it was at a such young,
such a young age that I didn'treally know what to expect or
what to feel.
It was exciting for me because Igot to have siblings for the
first time, but they were mucholder.
And so I wasn't really able toconnect with them like some of
my classmates were able toconnect with their siblings.
(13:18):
But I also had to realize at ayoung age that I can't compare
myself or my family dynamic toother people around me because
mine is unique for a reason andit's meant to be there to
explore what it needs to explorefor myself and my journey.
SPEAKER_01 (13:34):
Yeah.
Yeah, really good, well said.
Let's just go over a few of thestyles and categories of family.
The foundational family, whichthey call nuclear, in some of
the research I did, you know.
So then there's extended, singleparent, blended, childless
families, steppamilies,grandparent family, same-sex
(13:57):
family, adoptive family, fosterfamily.
SPEAKER_00 (14:01):
Well, like you said, chosen family is a great one
too, right?
It doesn't have to always bearound the idea of kids, because
a lot of these have to go aroundwith the idea of kids, and
that's the center of a family,and that's not always the case.
SPEAKER_01 (14:13):
Yeah, because some people just decide to have pets,
so you know, and and not havechildren.
So the, you know, that's why thepet the pet family part, I don't
know if it's in here, but theyeah, what I'd mentioned in the
vehicle video as well is is mymy inner family, meaning like my
(14:33):
those that have passed, or whatI would call some of my angels
or guides, or or something thatI know that are around me, even
though they're not physically,they're still part of my family.
And then there's the communityfamilies, like dynamic series,
kid dynamics, this dynamic show.
You're part of the family.
(14:54):
So there's like that communityor groups or co-workers, or like
in your case, your school, likesome of your teachers, you
become close to them, theybecome family and during the
time that you're together, andsome of them you stay close to,
and some of them you may not.
But at the time, it's almostlike working as as much as you
(15:16):
can as a team and a family unitand and stuff.
SPEAKER_00 (15:19):
So I think that's a very good idea, right?
I mean, that's the way you haveto see it is your family changes
throughout your whole life.
If you think about when you werein school and being able to have
a family with your classmates oreven maybe with your teachers
that you had, because you wereable to connect with them on
that level and have that bond,but you might not talk to them
anymore.
But for that time, they wereyour family and they were as
(15:42):
maybe important as what aregular stereotypical family
name is supposed to look likebecause to them they taught you
things and they comforted youand you cherish that time with
them, and that's what a familyshould have.
SPEAKER_01 (15:56):
Yeah.
So like we invite you to likelook at the blogs or listen to
the other vehicle videos andstuff, and we'll have the links
down below from the podcast.
But just like look at all thedifferent categories, read the
blog, listen to the stuff, andthen like maybe redefine what
you think family actually is.
(16:17):
Like it is said most familiesstarted off that way, you know,
mother, father, sister, brother,or whatever variation of
children there was,grandparents, cousins, all that
stuff.
But you know, what about afoster kid that didn't know any
of their family, or maybe achild that their parents may
(16:41):
have something happened to them,and they don't they're now being
brought up by someone else, orthe sake of my sister, which
couldn't have children, likethey she adopted children, which
is part of her family.
So, and again, then I have somany friends, like they don't
call it Thanksgiving, they callit what is it, friends giving or
(17:03):
something like that, where it'slike instead of having your
family around, they bring theirfriends all around because they
don't have any family anymore,like especially as you get uh up
in age, you don't like thefamily is just not around
anymore, so your family becomesthose that you choose to make
them important to you, and thatcould change throughout your
(17:24):
life as well.
SPEAKER_00 (17:25):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (17:27):
Listeners, are you are you getting the drift of
this?
Are you agreeing, disagreeing?
Because we're not here ever totell you what you should think
or what you should do.
We're offering resources so youcan look at this subject matter
and go, hey, maybe I just had alimited idea of that.
Like maybe it's so much morethan I thought it was gonna be.
SPEAKER_00 (17:49):
Exactly.
And hopefully that's been thecase for this podcast for you.
SPEAKER_01 (17:54):
Any tools that you can think of to really help
people be open to having or ormaybe even like sharing that,
okay, hey, you're my family.
I I don't care if you're notwhat the law defines you as that
people can look at to feel likethey're your family.
SPEAKER_00 (18:17):
Well, that's a really good question.
I I think you know, the amountof time that you spend with
someone, if you're thinkingabout them a lot of the time, if
the same characteristics thatyou might have for your
biological or your family thatyou grew up with are carrying
over to friends or other familymembers that you never have
talked to before, perhaps thatcould be a good indication that
(18:38):
they might be your family.
And then you might want toconsider them as your family and
to know that as you get olderand how you've changed
throughout your life, lookingback on your life, thinking
about okay, who did I consideras the biggest part of my
family?
And has that changed since nowand then?
And that it'll continue tochange.
So there's nothing wrong withadding or perhaps losing people
(19:02):
in your family and just movingon from there and knowing that
it will always change, andyou'll always make people part
of your family that need to bethere.
SPEAKER_01 (19:11):
Yeah, and that's the same as people, relationship,
friends.
Sometimes it's everyone hastheir own life path.
So some people just are in yourfamily for a short time and then
they're gone, whether that forwhatever reason it might be.
Can you imagine uh just evenbeing open to the idea of wow,
(19:31):
they came into my family to bemy sister in this life?
Or you came into my family lifebecause you wanted to be my
daughter in this lifetime.
SPEAKER_00 (19:45):
Right.
Exactly.
And so a lot of the people thatyou're meeting in this lifetime
could be, you know, somethingthat you've already found and
something that you've alreadyhad, and you're here to meet
them again for anotherexperience, or maybe for the
same one, you know, with thisdifferent bodies and different
situations and scenarios.
SPEAKER_01 (20:06):
Yeah.
But just being open to thatconcept, like what if you agreed
before you came down on thisphysical body that, hey, we're
gonna play this role for eachother while we're in the family,
and then we might have somedisagreements and challenges and
contrasts and all that stuff,and then sometimes we'll really
love each other a lot, but thatwe agree to because of what
(20:30):
people believe family is, we'llstay in each other's life
throughout many years and just,you know, help expand each other
forward, evolve each otherforward.
Can you imagine having thatagreement before you even come
into this physical?
Sounds pretty cool to me.
Yeah.
Just an option to think about.
(20:50):
No one's telling us we don'tknow what's right, what's wrong
sometimes.
We just know we want to feelgood and be good people and and
be the best that we can be andlive a dynamic life, right?
SPEAKER_00 (21:01):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (21:02):
Yes.
Anything else that you wouldjust like to leave everybody
with around family dynamics asfar as making them feel that
they're part of our family, ourdynamics family.
SPEAKER_00 (21:16):
I think that that's a great way to end it is that
you're part of our family andwe're part of your family to
some degree because of theshared time that we're spending
together, the care that we putinto this community.
And there you have it.
You have so many families thatyou probably don't even know
about.
And maybe taking the time tolook at it and seeing where else
do I have families, or whereelse do I see that I am
(21:38):
connecting with people to thepoint that I feel like they're
part of my family and justcherishing that and recognizing
it.
SPEAKER_01 (21:45):
Because having I mean, that's very well said, and
I appreciate that becausesometimes you don't always care
for your family and they don'talways care for you all the
time, but that's okay.
I think it's having consciousrelationships with people that
have trust and respect for eachother, too, you know?
(22:05):
Yes.
You know, you're you're part ofmy family, regardless, like I
said, of the labels of whatsociety says is right and wrong
as a family.
Okay, that's family dynamics.
So what's next?
First, take a moment to reflectwhat this podcast has made you
(22:27):
most aware of around living adynamic life every day and
understanding family dynamicsmore.
Then we challenge you to takeaction, share this episode with
someone who needs it, or exploreour past recordings to keep the
conversation alive.
Your dynamic journey doesn'tstop here.
There's so much more waiting foryou, so we invite you to
(22:49):
subscribe, rate, and review ourshows.
And next, visit dynamicsshow.info info or
dynamicsseries.com to dive intoour resources, including our
shock to help you every day.
Plus, a quick reminder allmaterials shared on this show
(23:10):
are copyrighted and meant forinformational purposes only.
And you might hear in thebackground our doggies, which
are part of our family thatalways like to be part of the
family, regardless where we'rerecording this show.
SPEAKER_00 (23:27):
Yes, maybe we should invite them in as a guest next
time.
SPEAKER_01 (23:30):
Maybe not, because two of them are puppies.
So we just we you you probablywouldn't enjoy that because they
love having bark sometimes.
Makota, thank you so much forbeing part of this.
I'm so blessed to have you aspart of my family in this family
time, this lifetime, you beingmy daughter, me being your mom,
(23:51):
and us just supporting eachother along the way.
SPEAKER_00 (23:54):
Well, thank you for being my mom.
SPEAKER_01 (23:56):
Sounds pretty good to have you as one.
Aww.
Thank you so much.
Okay, so until we meet, andthank you for being on the show
as well.
Yes, thank you for having me.
Yeah.
So until we meet again, anduntil next time, thank you,
thank you, thank you for tuningin to the dynamic show and make
it a dynamic day.
Make it a dynamic day.
And welcome to the dynamic show where personal
development and wellness meetsreal life.
I'm Mariana, your host, here toremind you that flowing through
each one of us is a dynamicenergy that is ours to use every
(00:21):
single day.
If you're endlessly curiousabout what's possible and your
choices to create your life bydesign on your terms, this
podcast is for you.
The dynamic show empowerscreative thinkers and
(00:41):
intentional doers to move beyondcookie cutter advice and uncover
their unique path to balanced,inspired, dynamic daily living.
We know there's no one size fitsall past, so let's uncover the
reason you are here.
Tune in and let's explore what'spossible together.
(01:04):
Our discussion recording todaywill be about our new dynamic
for the month, family dynamics.
And before we get into why thissubject, let me have the
opportunity to introduce you ifyou have never heard our podcast
before to our guest, Makota.
SPEAKER_00 (01:29):
Nice to have me here, I guess.
SPEAKER_01 (01:31):
Yes, it's very nice to have you here.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
And welcome, welcome, welcome.
If you are unfamiliar who Makotais and how she fits into this
dynamic show in the dynamicsseries and kid dynamics, you can
go to our website,dynamicseries.com, and then look
(01:53):
to contact us and meet us, andyou will find her full story
there.
Unless you wanted to spend timetelling your whole story.
SPEAKER_00 (02:01):
Well, I don't know about that, but I think it's
very fitting.
I'm here for the familydynamics.
SPEAKER_01 (02:05):
The family dynamics, that's right.
For those that don't know, weare family.
There's so many differentcategories of family.
We are family by I'm the mom,she's a daughter.
Although sometimes she acts likethe mom, and I like to have fun
and act like the daughter.
(02:26):
That sounds about right.
It's interesting how we weswitch roles sometimes in life.
Like as you're adulting now,because you're 26, that
sometimes you take on that roleof caretaker instead of us.
You know, like if I'm notfeeling well, you'll take over
that caretaker role of how youwere sort of taken care of, or
(02:51):
if I need some advice, becauseshe's been an advisor for us for
a long time with this wholedynamic series.
And how do you feel about doingthat?
Being that we're in family, andit's sometimes it can be very
sensitive or dynamic, or there'sso many moving parts when it
(03:12):
comes to a mother-daughterrelationship and work.
SPEAKER_00 (03:15):
Well, I think that the sentence of f family
dynamics is a very good way todescribe family, is that it is
very dynamic, it changes all thetime, and us being mother and
daughter looks very differentfrom other people that are
mother and daughter, or the waythat we act, and that that's all
unique to your own familydynamic.
And I think that's why we'retalking about it today.
SPEAKER_01 (03:36):
Yes.
That is such a good point.
So thanks for sharing that.
Is that there is no right or wayor wrong way to do it?
I mean, I'm sure there'sprobably a wrong way, but I
mean, but that would just besomeone's opinion because, like
we said in the beginning,there's no one size fits all
path.
(03:57):
So how does one know the way youwe do family and the way someone
else does family, that it'seither right or wrong or better
or worse, or you know, this isthe way you're supposed to do
it, because there is no supposedto in this life.
There's choices all along theway.
Yes.
And we're all learning.
You know that you have to makesome choices along the way, and
(04:20):
not everyone's going to agreewith it.
So that's okay.
Exactly right.
I agree.
And what I love about the familydynamics too is that as for
those that do have children, asthey grow up and then they have
children, they completelyunderstand the the whole dynamic
(04:46):
of why sometimes the parent orthe guardian or the whoever's
taking care of the kids may haveacted the way that they did.
So why this subject?
Well it's part of the uhdynamics series on
dynamicsseries.com, and sofamily is just you know the next
(05:07):
one that was in in the series togo over.
And if you've listened to myvehicle video, it's on YouTube
and on social media, you'llunderstand that it's funny
because when we pick whichdynamic we're doing for each
month throughout the whole year,and family landed in October,
(05:29):
and it is the month that I haveseen, or we have seen, the most
family that we haven't seen fora long time.
Like we've done a couple trips,it was my husband's 60th
birthday, all that stuff.
We've seen different familymembers and traveled to see them
and stuff than we have ever seenin one month before.
(05:52):
We even had a family member thatwasn't even supposed to come and
stay with us, stay with us.
Yes, right.
You know, who would have known?
I mean, the universe just set itall up.
So it's like, oh, you want totalk about family dynamics and
some of the dynamics thathappens in family?
Well, here, let's give you anopportunity.
Yeah, I love it.
I love it.
(06:12):
It never just happens, it'salways set up.
The universe knows, got yourback and knows what to do to
help you have a more meaningfulexperience in these dynamics.
So that is why we cover thesubject.
And although we're already a fewminutes into this, I always like
to set the tone for our timetogether, as it's more than just
(06:35):
a podcast.
What we focus on expands.
So let's just take a moment tocenter ourselves, be fully
present, and listen with an openheart and mind.
So to start, let me ask youthis, Makoda, given the title of
the show, which is probablyIntro to Family Dynamics, how
(06:59):
can you relate to that inyourself and where you are in
your life?
SPEAKER_00 (07:05):
That's a very big question.
I mean, I think that being ableto go and understand family
dynamics is such an importantpart of my journey as a person.
And I think that being able togo over it with everyone,
including you, and with thispodcast is really nice because I
know that as I get older, myidea of family changes so much.
(07:27):
And my idea of who is part of myfamily or who is the most
important part of my family, orwhat it looks like, and changes
so drastically from when, even afew months ago, or maybe even a
few years ago.
So being able to go over andkind of understand how that
shaped me and to put light onit, especially like we said that
a lot of people were coming thatwere part of our family.
(07:49):
I think it's very important thatyou can kind of take that moment
and think about it that way.
SPEAKER_01 (07:53):
Yeah.
That's good because we we we dida blog, and if you haven't
looked at the blog yet, there isso m like not only the blog, but
we also did it in a video.
There's so many differentcategories of family.
Yes.
Very much so.
(08:15):
To our listeners, can youunderstand that?
Like who is your family?
Who who do you consider yourfamily?
Let's just go over a few ofthose different categories.
And I'm sure we haven't evencovered all of them.
We're just covering some ofthem, just to give you that
definition of how family as weknew it maybe many, many, many
(08:41):
years ago, was either usually byblood ties or marriage or
something like that, has justevolved so much more.
SPEAKER_00 (08:49):
Yes.
And I think a lot of the time wedon't always think about what it
is.
So, as an example, extendedfamily is one that we really
don't always think about.
Do we think of our day-to-daylives and having our
grandparents, aunts, uncles, andcousins in our lives as our
family?
Of course, they are our family,but that might not be the first
thing that we think about whenwe consider our family.
(09:10):
It's probably your parents, thepeople that raised you, or your
siblings.
But for some people, it's alsotheir close friends, or you
know, maybe their cats and theirdogs and their animals being
part of their family.
Or for maybe an older couple,they might just see themselves
as their only family, or theperson that they're married to
as their only part of theirfamily.
(09:32):
So as you go throughout youryears and when you're born to
when, you know, you make yourtransition, the idea of what
your family is changes sodrastically because of all the
life events that you go through.
And that continues to change,and it's changing in an
unexpected way every second,really.
And you might think aboutsomeone that you've never
thought about before as yourfamily, and then that might
(09:53):
change.
SPEAKER_01 (09:54):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (09:54):
That's the beautiful part about it.
SPEAKER_01 (09:56):
Yes, because in the vehicle video that I did, and
and like you mentioned, is I hadI said that my top three
categories of family for me wasmy chosen family.
For me, my chosen family is isnot only the family that's close
to me, even though there is somefamily members that you know we
(10:17):
may not associate with becauseone, they're either away,
they're distant, or or forwhatever reason, but then
there's also the chosen friendsthat we have become made our
family as well.
And then how about the blendedfamily?
We're a blended family.
Yes.
And so anyone that's been partof a blended family, sometimes
(10:40):
it can be a challenge becausewhether that's through a death
of a loved one or whether that'sthrough a divorce or through
like some kind of separation,blended families, like
especially if there's otherchildren involved, you know,
that you're trying to bring intwo whole, and depending on what
ages the kids are, like thatthat's sort of our story here is
(11:03):
we came together, even though myhusband and I knew each other in
grade nine and we were firstloves, we were together for a
while, we split.
When we came back togetheragain, then we blended our
family many years later.
And you know, sometimes it's achallenge.
What do you think about thatwhole experience of having being
(11:25):
a blended family?
And I will say something firstbefore you say it, because then
there's that whole like, well,you're not in my you're not my
real family.
You're not in and that's whatwe're getting at is like we have
to look at the definition ofwhat families are, and there's
so much more than that wordsupposed to be, or what we've
(11:45):
been influenced to think afamily actually is.
SPEAKER_00 (11:49):
Yes, and I I think even over definitions, it's a
lot on feelings as well.
I have aunts and uncles thatI've haven't talked to in years
or seen in years.
And do I feel that they'resupposed to be close to me just
because they're my first inquotation family and not my
extended family or my blendedfamily?
(12:09):
Not necessarily.
And so, me growing up having tobe in a blended family and also
being in a relationship withsomeone that also has a blended
family, there's a lot of extralayers on top of all these new
aunts and uncles and siblingsand grandparents.
And without all of that, or withall of that, you still have to
(12:30):
feel who is important in thosesituations and who are you
talking to and who are youthinking about, and how do you
make them part of your life ifyou are put into a situation
where you get new familymembers?
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (12:44):
And and how do you even feel about that, you know?
Because I mean, straight upblending our families, like how
did I mean there were somechallenges.
SPEAKER_00 (12:55):
Yeah, I think it's hard to know what to feel,
really.
I mean, especially for me,because it was at a such young,
such a young age that I didn'treally know what to expect or
what to feel.
It was exciting for me because Igot to have siblings for the
first time, but they were mucholder.
And so I wasn't really able toconnect with them like some of
my classmates were able toconnect with their siblings.
(13:18):
But I also had to realize at ayoung age that I can't compare
myself or my family dynamic toother people around me because
mine is unique for a reason andit's meant to be there to
explore what it needs to explorefor myself and my journey.
SPEAKER_01 (13:34):
Yeah.
Yeah, really good, well said.
Let's just go over a few of thestyles and categories of family.
The foundational family, whichthey call nuclear, in some of
the research I did, you know.
So then there's extended, singleparent, blended, childless
families, steppamilies,grandparent family, same-sex
(13:57):
family, adoptive family, fosterfamily.
SPEAKER_00 (14:01):
Well, like you said, chosen family is a great one
too, right?
It doesn't have to always bearound the idea of kids, because
a lot of these have to go aroundwith the idea of kids, and
that's the center of a family,and that's not always the case.
SPEAKER_01 (14:13):
Yeah, because some people just decide to have pets,
so you know, and and not havechildren.
So the, you know, that's why thepet the pet family part, I don't
know if it's in here, but theyeah, what I'd mentioned in the
vehicle video as well is is mymy inner family, meaning like my
(14:33):
those that have passed, or whatI would call some of my angels
or guides, or or something thatI know that are around me, even
though they're not physically,they're still part of my family.
And then there's the communityfamilies, like dynamic series,
kid dynamics, this dynamic show.
You're part of the family.
(14:54):
So there's like that communityor groups or co-workers, or like
in your case, your school, likesome of your teachers, you
become close to them, theybecome family and during the
time that you're together, andsome of them you stay close to,
and some of them you may not.
But at the time, it's almostlike working as as much as you
(15:16):
can as a team and a family unitand and stuff.
SPEAKER_00 (15:19):
So I think that's a very good idea, right?
I mean, that's the way you haveto see it is your family changes
throughout your whole life.
If you think about when you werein school and being able to have
a family with your classmates oreven maybe with your teachers
that you had, because you wereable to connect with them on
that level and have that bond,but you might not talk to them
anymore.
But for that time, they wereyour family and they were as
(15:42):
maybe important as what aregular stereotypical family
name is supposed to look likebecause to them they taught you
things and they comforted youand you cherish that time with
them, and that's what a familyshould have.
SPEAKER_01 (15:56):
Yeah.
So like we invite you to likelook at the blogs or listen to
the other vehicle videos andstuff, and we'll have the links
down below from the podcast.
But just like look at all thedifferent categories, read the
blog, listen to the stuff, andthen like maybe redefine what
you think family actually is.
(16:17):
Like it is said most familiesstarted off that way, you know,
mother, father, sister, brother,or whatever variation of
children there was,grandparents, cousins, all that
stuff.
But you know, what about afoster kid that didn't know any
of their family, or maybe achild that their parents may
(16:41):
have something happened to them,and they don't they're now being
brought up by someone else, orthe sake of my sister, which
couldn't have children, likethey she adopted children, which
is part of her family.
So, and again, then I have somany friends, like they don't
call it Thanksgiving, they callit what is it, friends giving or
(17:03):
something like that, where it'slike instead of having your
family around, they bring theirfriends all around because they
don't have any family anymore,like especially as you get uh up
in age, you don't like thefamily is just not around
anymore, so your family becomesthose that you choose to make
them important to you, and thatcould change throughout your
(17:24):
life as well.
SPEAKER_00 (17:25):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (17:27):
Listeners, are you are you getting the drift of
this?
Are you agreeing, disagreeing?
Because we're not here ever totell you what you should think
or what you should do.
We're offering resources so youcan look at this subject matter
and go, hey, maybe I just had alimited idea of that.
Like maybe it's so much morethan I thought it was gonna be.
SPEAKER_00 (17:49):
Exactly.
And hopefully that's been thecase for this podcast for you.
SPEAKER_01 (17:54):
Any tools that you can think of to really help
people be open to having or ormaybe even like sharing that,
okay, hey, you're my family.
I I don't care if you're notwhat the law defines you as that
people can look at to feel likethey're your family.
SPEAKER_00 (18:17):
Well, that's a really good question.
I I think you know, the amountof time that you spend with
someone, if you're thinkingabout them a lot of the time, if
the same characteristics thatyou might have for your
biological or your family thatyou grew up with are carrying
over to friends or other familymembers that you never have
talked to before, perhaps thatcould be a good indication that
(18:38):
they might be your family.
And then you might want toconsider them as your family and
to know that as you get olderand how you've changed
throughout your life, lookingback on your life, thinking
about okay, who did I consideras the biggest part of my
family?
And has that changed since nowand then?
And that it'll continue tochange.
So there's nothing wrong withadding or perhaps losing people
(19:02):
in your family and just movingon from there and knowing that
it will always change, andyou'll always make people part
of your family that need to bethere.
SPEAKER_01 (19:11):
Yeah, and that's the same as people, relationship,
friends.
Sometimes it's everyone hastheir own life path.
So some people just are in yourfamily for a short time and then
they're gone, whether that forwhatever reason it might be.
Can you imagine uh just evenbeing open to the idea of wow,
(19:31):
they came into my family to bemy sister in this life?
Or you came into my family lifebecause you wanted to be my
daughter in this lifetime.
SPEAKER_00 (19:45):
Right.
Exactly.
And so a lot of the people thatyou're meeting in this lifetime
could be, you know, somethingthat you've already found and
something that you've alreadyhad, and you're here to meet
them again for anotherexperience, or maybe for the
same one, you know, with thisdifferent bodies and different
situations and scenarios.
SPEAKER_01 (20:06):
Yeah.
But just being open to thatconcept, like what if you agreed
before you came down on thisphysical body that, hey, we're
gonna play this role for eachother while we're in the family,
and then we might have somedisagreements and challenges and
contrasts and all that stuff,and then sometimes we'll really
love each other a lot, but thatwe agree to because of what
(20:30):
people believe family is, we'llstay in each other's life
throughout many years and just,you know, help expand each other
forward, evolve each otherforward.
Can you imagine having thatagreement before you even come
into this physical?
Sounds pretty cool to me.
Yeah.
Just an option to think about.
(20:50):
No one's telling us we don'tknow what's right, what's wrong
sometimes.
We just know we want to feelgood and be good people and and
be the best that we can be andlive a dynamic life, right?
SPEAKER_00 (21:01):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (21:02):
Yes.
Anything else that you wouldjust like to leave everybody
with around family dynamics asfar as making them feel that
they're part of our family, ourdynamics family.
SPEAKER_00 (21:16):
I think that that's a great way to end it is that
you're part of our family andwe're part of your family to
some degree because of theshared time that we're spending
together, the care that we putinto this community.
And there you have it.
You have so many families thatyou probably don't even know
about.
And maybe taking the time tolook at it and seeing where else
do I have families, or whereelse do I see that I am
(21:38):
connecting with people to thepoint that I feel like they're
part of my family and justcherishing that and recognizing
it.
SPEAKER_01 (21:45):
Because having I mean, that's very well said, and
I appreciate that becausesometimes you don't always care
for your family and they don'talways care for you all the
time, but that's okay.
I think it's having consciousrelationships with people that
have trust and respect for eachother, too, you know?
(22:05):
Yes.
You know, you're you're part ofmy family, regardless, like I
said, of the labels of whatsociety says is right and wrong
as a family.
Okay, that's family dynamics.
So what's next?
First, take a moment to reflectwhat this podcast has made you
(22:27):
most aware of around living adynamic life every day and
understanding family dynamicsmore.
Then we challenge you to takeaction, share this episode with
someone who needs it, or exploreour past recordings to keep the
conversation alive.
Your dynamic journey doesn'tstop here.
There's so much more waiting foryou, so we invite you to
(22:49):
subscribe, rate, and review ourshows.
And next, visit dynamicsshow.info info or
dynamicsseries.com to dive intoour resources, including our
shock to help you every day.
Plus, a quick reminder allmaterials shared on this show
(23:10):
are copyrighted and meant forinformational purposes only.
And you might hear in thebackground our doggies, which
are part of our family thatalways like to be part of the
family, regardless where we'rerecording this show.
SPEAKER_00 (23:27):
Yes, maybe we should invite them in as a guest next
time.
SPEAKER_01 (23:30):
Maybe not, because two of them are puppies.
So we just we you you probablywouldn't enjoy that because they
love having bark sometimes.
Makota, thank you so much forbeing part of this.
I'm so blessed to have you aspart of my family in this family
time, this lifetime, you beingmy daughter, me being your mom,
(23:51):
and us just supporting eachother along the way.
SPEAKER_00 (23:54):
Well, thank you for being my mom.
SPEAKER_01 (23:56):
Sounds pretty good to have you as one.
Aww.
Thank you so much.
Okay, so until we meet, andthank you for being on the show
as well.
Yes, thank you for having me.
Yeah.
So until we meet again, anduntil next time, thank you,
thank you, thank you for tuningin to the dynamic show and make
it a dynamic day.
Make it a dynamic day.
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