May 20, 2025 • 31 mins
This episode answers some questions regarding the afterlife and the experiences of souls both before and after their earthly existence. Allison answers a caller seeking understanding about the soul of her unborn child and the nature of her guilt. Moreover, we contemplate the circumstances surrounding traumatic experiences, as well as the pervasive impact of people who take their own life on both the departed and their loved ones left behind. Our discussion aims to provide solace and clarity to those grappling with the weight of such profound questions, underscoring the idea that healing and understanding are integral to the human experience.
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(00:02):
Welcome to the Dead Life.
Here's world renowned mediumAlison Dubois.
Today on the Dead Life, I havenone other than my fantastic husband
Joe in studio to help meanswer your calling questions.
If you have a question aboutthe afterlife, your own abilities
or a relationship issue, callme at 802-332-3811 to book a reading
(00:26):
with me.
Email us atbookinglisondubois.com if you want
to watch past and presentepisodes of the Dead Life, follow
me on YouTube, please like andsubscribe, check me out on Instagram
at medium alison.
Check out divination22.com tofind out where to purchase my intention
setting vodka.
(00:46):
Well, Joe, I know you've beenbusy at work, so thank you for being
here.
You're welcome.
Yeah.
You have been a busy, busy boy.
Busy boy.
Straight from presentationthere to presentation here.
I know I shouldn't ask so much.
Oh, I love spending time with you.
And I got my baguette pen fromParis, which is my favorite pen.
(01:09):
Is that not the most amazing pen?
It's the most.
I love it.
So we have so many callingquestions that we're doing a two
part episode because I had toget through some of them.
This that we're backing up.
So we're going to go ahead andstart with four this week and four
(01:29):
next week.
So do you want to start withthe first call in?
Yeah, I got the list right here.
Great.
Hi, Allison, this is Jenniferfrom Morristown, New Jersey.
I called in a few weeks ago,but I'm calling in again because
I have another question or afew questions.
(01:51):
I was wondering, you know, I'malmost 50 years old and I've had
a lot of trauma in my life.
I was verbally and physicallyabused as a child.
I was bullied in high school,raped at 18.
Then I was now married almost20 years.
(02:17):
But it's been up and down.
In the beginning of ourrelationship, we were separated and
my family wasn't too crazyabout it about him.
And we had a three year oldand a one year old and we were separated
and I was living with myparents, he was living with his mom
and we were reconciling and Igot pregnant and I ended up having
(02:43):
an abortion after muchdeliberation with my husband.
So my first question is, doesthat baby, did that baby have a soul
yet?
And if so, does it hate me?
(03:09):
I know I'm a religious personand I've repented for many years.
So I have come to terms thatGod has forgiven me.
But I still think about thatbaby every Single day.
And I can't help but feelguilty still.
(03:32):
So that's one question.
And my other question is thatcan a person be attracted to trauma?
You know, about eight yearsago, our house burned down and we
barely made it out alive.
And then a year ago I almostdied because I found out.
(03:54):
I went into cardiac arrest andfound out that I.
My heart was built the wrongway from when I was born and I needed
open heart surgery.
You know, a lot of, I've had alot of almost death, let's put it
that way.
I don't want to say near deathexperiences because nobody came to
(04:17):
me and I didn't see a light.
So.
But I was unconscious, so Idon't know what was happening to
my soul at that point.
Was it just asleep?
Am I dead inside?
So I included Jennifer'sbecause she did seem to be in quite
(04:41):
a bit of distress over her life.
I'm going to start with thesecond question first.
Can people be attracted to trauma?
And I guess perspective isimportant in how you look at your
life and what unfolded.
So I believe she said she wasin a fire.
So she survived it.
(05:03):
Yeah.
Right.
So I would feel prettyblessed, protected.
I survived it.
Cardiac arrest after that.
Survived it.
Right.
So, Jennifer, I think ifanything, your time here wasn't done.
And you're still here to dowhatever it is that you're here to
(05:25):
do, whatever you're callingyour purpose, your journey, your
karma that you're workingthrough, all of that is still a work
in progress.
So I did want to say, though,the perspective of if I survive those
two things, I would definitelyfeel watched over and loved by the
(05:47):
other side.
Maybe there's no memory ofalmost dying because the near death
experience of communicatingwith the people on the other side,
maybe she didn't get closeenough to having that experience,
thankfully.
Yeah.
So I know that she's had a lotof ups and downs in her life, but
as far as attracted to trauma,I think she's been put through some
(06:11):
trials and challenges in herlife that she came out of so blessed.
The first question about theabortion, and I included this because
a lot of women struggle withthis and everybody talks about it
as though it's nothing or it'ssomething that is easily gotten over,
(06:33):
which isn't the case.
I mean, I've been on thisplanet a long time.
I've seen a lot of things.
I know a lot of people.
And that is something thatwill continue to weigh on women that
make that difficult decision.
Does her baby hate her?
No, absolutely not.
The soul of the children,their understanding of what you're
(06:56):
going through and thedecisions that you make.
Now if the baby had been born,it may have taken her down a different
path where maybe somethingwould have been resolved or understood
better.
But if Jennifer wasn't readyto have that baby and her husband
wasn't ready to have that babyand they made that decision together,
(07:19):
then that's something you justhave to sort of sit with and take
responsibility for.
We won't know what that otherpath would have looked like.
I understand why she carriesthe guilt.
That baby would find a wayinto the family.
In my experience, they'reeither born in a future child.
When the person's ready tohave children, they come through
(07:43):
in that way.
Or it could be a niece or anephew that is born to Jennifer.
It could end up being agrandchild down the road.
So one way or another, thoseenergies, those babies souls don't
sit on the other side indefinitely.
They get to live out a lifehere in the physical world.
(08:04):
So I don't want her to thinkthat she stopped something that'll
never have the opportunity tosee the beauty of the physical world
and the beauty of life.
It will, one way or another.
So she was a vessel in at thatpoint and she took a turn and chose
(08:25):
not to.
And you know what, Jennifer?
That's okay.
So stop beating yourself upover that and recognize how blessed
you are and your worth as well.
I hope that in the future youwere or are able to find a partner
who makes you feel valued aswell as enjoying your other children.
(08:52):
I mean, if we truly feel sorryfor having to make that difficult
decision, the least we can dois put all that energy that we would
have put in that child intoour other kids and be extra exceptional
parents, extra amazing.
And I hope that Jennifer isable to do that and enjoy her life.
Don't focus on the past so much.
(09:16):
Don't obsess over the thingsthat went wrong in life.
Learn from them and moveforward in your journey.
Because otherwise you're goingto get stuck in the past and stuck
in a rut with all of thenegatives in your life that may have
happened for a reason.
(09:37):
And I think with the fire andthe cardiac arrest instances like
that happening in our life areoften so that we start to appreciate
what we have, our time, ourlife, our presence here in the physical
world.
And we don't take it forgranted or squander it.
So I hope that she's able todo that and to consider that.
(10:02):
Yeah, well said.
I was really surprised.
That's two very heavy topicsright off the bat.
And I really like the messagethat you're giving her that with
a little shift in perspectiveyou say, yes, there's some really
difficult things that havehappened in her life.
But you know what?
For whatever, for a goodreason, she didn't die in the fire.
(10:26):
She didn't die from cardiac arrest.
So somebody out there iskeeping an eye on her, protecting
her, protecting her.
And there's a reason thatshe's still here.
And she can go forward andheal from all those things and learn
something, I suppose, butdefinitely teaching all of us something.
(10:47):
So I guess.
Thank you for calling in, Jennifer.
Thank you.
All right, Are you ready?
Born ready.
Hi, Allison, My name is Sherry.
I listen to your podcast.
Just recently, last week, as amatter of fact, we had a family member
(11:07):
close to the family memberthat committed suicide.
She was.
Had depression and dealingwith it, but she had shot herself.
And she was married to a veryclose relative of my husband.
(11:28):
Actually they call themselves brothers.
My question for you basicallyis when someone does commit suicide,
is their spirit in kind of aholding because that really wasn't
their natural time, or do theycross over?
So that is my question.
(11:49):
Thank you so much and thankyou for your shows.
Take care.
Bye.
This is a topic that I'vewritten about in my books because
it's so widely asked.
And I am happy to answer thisagain because some people are being
(12:09):
affected by suicide now thatdidn't know they would 10 years ago
and there will be somebodytomorrow, unfortunately, that will
deal with it, that neveranticipated dealing with this topic
as well.
And I had a father that was inone of my books put it the best.
He said, it's very hard tounderstand why your child would murder
(12:32):
themselves.
You know, you worry aboutother people hurting them and then
it's done at their own hands.
And we struggle to understandthat with this suicide.
She asks, are they in aholding pattern?
No, they do cross and they gowhere everyone else is.
They aren't in purgatory or hell.
(12:56):
They go to be with theirrelatives and the other people on
the other side.
Usually there's either anatural chemical imbalance that exists
in their system that theystruggle with sometimes, then try
to self medicate and it goestoo far and then they don't.
They're really not thinkingrationally and it can lead to them
(13:19):
doing something they wouldn'tnormally have done or that would
be out of character.
So I see suicides in twodifferent ways, but both involve
not being able to thinkclearly, sometimes it's neurological
or chemical and biological.
Other times it's from drugs ordrinking and not being in a good
(13:42):
state of mind.
And worst case scenario, it's both.
So the sherry's relative thatpassed would be crossed and the chemical
imbalance or the addictionfalls away.
And so that person would bevery clear and focused and aware
(14:04):
of the aftermath of their passing.
So sometimes suicides, peoplewho die of suicides, and I almost
feel like I need to speak forthe dead so that people can understand
this.
You are a speaker for this?
I am a bit of an interpreter.
(14:24):
So they feel shame when theycross and they see the destruction
and pain that they're passing caused.
They also see the people whoare alive that blame themselves for
not taking their phone call.
Or I, I should have known.
(14:46):
I should have sensed it.
These guilt games that theliving play and they feel responsible
for that.
So a lot of times suicideswill feel such shame, you won't feel
them around.
And it's not that they're notaround, it's that they hang in the
background to see how you'redoing because they're afraid of interrupting
(15:08):
your life with their presence.
I find it very helpful ifyou've lost somebody to suicide,
if you say to them, I want youto be part of my life.
You don't need to feel shamearound this.
There's no blame.
I know you weren't in a good place.
You weren't thinking clearly.
(15:29):
I accept that you love me.
I love you.
I do need you.
So please be there for me.
And once you do that, itremoves that energy for them of the
shame and their own guilt sothat they can be more present for
you.
Does that make sense?
No.
It does.
(15:50):
Another deep topic.
It took a long time fromhearing all the readings that you
do to understand what it'slike when people cross over, that
they are sort of the bestversion of themselves.
And so they're still them,very much them.
And you do need to talk tothem like you would talk to them.
(16:12):
At the same time, chemicalimbalances are gone, so maybe they're
not exactly the same becausethey don't have that heavy weight.
It takes a long time.
I mean, it took me a long.
Maybe it didn't take you quiteso long because you're pretty amazing,
but it took me a long time toreally kind of intuitively understand
(16:35):
that.
And so, yeah, I think I'm gladyou took this question and I love
the answer.
And I think that we'll havethis question again next year.
Right.
And the year after, unfortunately.
So they are themselves inthose moments that are peaceful,
the way you remember them, thelaughing with them, the good times
(16:56):
moving, minus the erraticbehavior and depression.
That's gone.
So if people can imagine thoseparts of them, that's what you speak
of when you say the best partsof them.
That's great.
So I hope that helps.
Sheri.
All right, so now we.
Hi, Allison.
Thank you for taking my question.
(17:19):
I lost my daughter.
She was 20 weeks gestation.
I have two other kiddos beforeher, and I didn't have any pregnancy
complications.
They were both delivered ontime and healthy.
But unfortunately, with her,my water unexpectedly broke with
very little signs or symptoms.
(17:41):
And the doctors did all thetests on me and her, and they could
not find a rational reason whythis would have happened.
So to provide some sort ofclosure or healing, I did seek out
a reading from a medium.
(18:01):
And I just.
I'm just a little unsure about it.
So what the medium told me wasthat her name was Greta, that Greta
was the soul of the baby thatI lost, and that she changed her
mind.
She said that Greta changedher mind, that her brain was sick,
(18:26):
and she didn't want to do thatto me.
She didn't want to put me andmy family through losing, or rather,
sorry.
She didn't want to put me andmy family through the hardship that
we would have had raising her.
And if she did come into theworld, that she would have came for
all the wrong reasons.
(18:47):
So I guess a couple ofquestions I have is, one, at 20 weeks
gestation, do our souls enterour bodies in utero?
And two, if she.
This is true, and she diddecide to leave, is there a way I
(19:08):
could have prevented her frommaking that decision?
And three, I do believe she'swith me, and she does give me some
sign.
But then there's a little partof me maybe thinking I just want
her to feel alive with me.
And I guess I don't know whatI meant by that last statement.
I'm still heartbroken.
This happened a year and ahalf ago.
(19:29):
So any input you would have, Iwould greatly appreciate it.
Thanks much.
So this is an unusualquestion, so I wanted to.
Oh, yeah, you always deal withwhen people die.
But now here, we're dealingwith people before they're born,
right?
Yes.
I like it.
Everything under the sun.
I'm so sorry that you lost achild at 20 weeks.
(19:53):
Having been pregnant myself, Iunderstand how attached you already
are at that point.
There's a couple of differentpoints I don't like to disagree with
other mediums, I can only giveyou my own sense and my own experience.
(20:15):
I've never experienced a childthat was in utero deciding to not
come into the world to put youthrough that.
Because if the child, say,let's just for argument, say, had
brain cancer, that was goingto go through a painful life here,
(20:36):
that perhaps their soul wasbeing sent here for that reason,
to either learn or teachsomething from it.
I've never seen a soul thenpull back and go, nah, I don't want
to put you through that.
So to me, that didn't ring true.
True.
The fact that she named her.
(20:57):
I think sometimes it's betterto let the parents assign a name
to have that emotionalconnection to the pregnancy rather
than the medium.
Maybe she thought she heard that.
I don't know the person thatyou speak of, you're going to grieve,
obviously, this.
This loss for a long time.
(21:19):
It's been a year and a half,and it could have been something
as biological or simple as themembrane around the child not being
strong enough so the water broke.
So the fact that they couldn'ttell that via either autopsy or just
(21:41):
their own experience, to me,just says that they probably didn't
look that hard, you know, tojust see if there was a tear or something
that happened in it, or maybeyou wouldn't even be able to determine
that.
I don't know.
I'm not a doctor and I.
I don't claim to be, but Iwill say there's a million reasons
(22:07):
why it could have happenedthat wouldn't need an explanation
other than biologically, therewas a weakness somewhere in that
pregnancy.
I don't see it as being adecision the soul made to not come
into this lifetime, to not puther through something with her family.
(22:28):
So that just really wasn'tfeeling that at all.
She asked about at 20 weeksgestation, does a baby have a soul
yet?
In my experience, and I'd haveto say this is even with my own pregnancies
that I had around that time, Ididn't feel that kind of force within
(22:55):
me.
You know, it was somethingthat came down the road when, you
know, when they're born andthey start growing their personality
and laughing and reaching foryou and having likes and dislikes,
all of those things seem tobulk up.
(23:16):
The soul, they let it flow.
That's what I was thinking.
Sometimes you've broughtthrough children and you even have
a role with your personalreadings that you do every week,
that if they're babies, itcan't be the.
It's limited information, very limited.
And it really seems like theirsoul kind of develops in a way, like
(23:40):
you said, bulk up and it'slike, yeah, they're there, but it's
not one moment that all of asudden they're not there and then
they're there.
Exactly.
It's more like a slow process.
An evolution.
An evolution, sure.
So another thing is we're sofortunate in the modern world and
in our country thatpregnancies are pretty, I don't know,
(24:07):
successful.
It's not that long ago, Ithink that many women died and the
babies died.
It was tragic.
It was a very dangerous thing.
The early 20th century, Ithink it was a 40% mortality rate.
Right.
And so this is a good thing.
It's very tragic and it's veryhuman and it's something we can learn
(24:31):
from, but it's not, I don'tknow, she felt maybe guilty that
there was something she couldhave done differently and every mother
would.
Well, I think every.
Everyone likes to feel thattheir child is somehow predestined
for them, you know?
Sure.
I mean, it's based on emotion.
It's just.
It is what it is, theevolution and it's why with readings
(24:55):
I say, I just need your firstname and the relationship to the
person I'm bringing through.
So when it is a child, Ialways say I just want to make sure
they're older than two.
Because for me, even though,and I've had two year olds, there's
some personality to that.
(25:17):
That's when they get the terrible.
Sure.
And you get a lot of personality.
Right.
And you can see the force ofthem growing.
You can see them starting tohave their real likes and dislikes
and.
And you start getting a realsense for their soul and who they
are.
And not that babies in utero,they have a bit of a personality,
like they're different.
Sure.
But it just hasn't grown.
(25:38):
Right.
So, you know, as far as thatsoul, if it wasn't intended to come
in in this lifetime to her, tobe her child, then that's okay.
It will still find a way inwhich we just talked about with Jennifer.
Right.
So the child's soul will finda way into the family one way or
(26:01):
another.
So you may not feel herforever out there.
So if that energy goes away,it can be because it was born into
the family and it's no longeron the other side waiting sort of
for that body to come in toyour life.
I'll wait for an update.
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe she's going to haveAnother child.
(26:23):
You know, maybe she ends uphaving another child.
Maybe.
Maybe a niece or nephew.
But either way, the child'ssoul will find its way in.
It just felt as though thesoul early on in pregnancy is unevolved.
That's all.
Gotcha.
Okay.
There we go.
Okay.
(26:45):
Hi, Allison, this is Susanfrom Michigan.
I just want to say I love yourpodcast with your family.
When you have your family on,when you have Tom McMullen on and
Granny Magic, it's justenjoyable and insightful.
And I just want to say Iappreciate you.
My question is, my mother died.
(27:06):
Well, my mother died in 20,and she died with complications due
to dementia.
And she had a difficult, hardlife her whole life and then died
from dementia.
To me, that was God's way ofhelping her forget her difficult
(27:28):
life, but not her children, still.
Although she did.
And what I want to know is,after we die in the afterlife, will
she be free of that chain thatbound her during her life?
(27:48):
Will she be free to live inthe afterlife and be happy and enjoy
people and things?
So that's really all I wantedto know.
Thank you, Allison.
Goodbye.
I thought Susan's question isalso a good one, especially with
this being a nine year.
(28:10):
For those of you just joiningthe show, if you add 20, 25, you
add the numbers up, it breaksdown to a nine.
So that's how we determine anine year.
It's a year of endings.
A lot of people will bepassing and letting go this year.
So as far as the conversationon her mom dying of dementia, I thought
maybe there's somebody outthere that this will end up helping
(28:31):
as well.
Yes.
People who have dementia, andI find them so interesting because
they're in between this worldand the other world, the afterlife.
So often you'll hear them talkabout people that died 50 years ago
as though they're here.
And they often don't let gofor a really long time.
(28:54):
And people will say, oh, myGod, you know, they're gonna outlive
me.
And that's because why wouldthey want to let go when they have
everyone they love rightthere, living or dead, all the time?
Even if they don't recognizeyou, their soul senses you and knows
somehow you belong around them.
Sure.
And we're built to live.
(29:15):
We fight to live.
Like.
Well, it's what you do fromyour first breath.
Sure.
So she is free to be happy.
On the other side, she'llrevert to the age that she was the
happiest, whether that'sfalling in love or having kids, whatever
that was.
To her.
So just rest assured that yourmom is where she wants to be, looking
(29:38):
the way she wants to, focusedand feeling content.
All of that pain that sheexperienced in the physical world
falls away when we pass,unless there's some, you have to
make some sort ofreconciliation or amends with someone
(30:02):
on the other side and thensome of that will remain, but not
in a way that's going to hurtyou, in a way where it's explained
to you why we had to gothrough certain trials and tribulations
that we resented having to gothrough and how that changed us and
why that was necessary.
So, Susan, your mom is lookingin on you, wanting, you know, definitely
(30:27):
wanting the young pictures ofher put up and for you to remember,
don't we all, how much, howmuch happiness you brought her, your
versions of her heaven.
You gave her those momentsfrom the time you put your little
arms around her neck when youwere small and gave her a kiss when
she was sad, when you know allof those little moments are versions
(30:49):
of their heaven.
And she would be so gratefulto you for everything you did did
for her.
So, Susan, thank you forcalling in.
Yeah, I'm glad you took allthese questions that have to do with
what it's like on the other side.
It's comforting.
And we'll do it again.
(31:09):
Yes.
Because we got another batchof four that we're going to go through
for next week.
So thank you for being hereand for adding your, your spin on
everything from a pragmaticpoint of view, a male point perspective,
and just as my husband, thankyou so much.
(31:33):
And, and thank you to my listeners.
Tune in next week for part twoof this week's Call in episode.
I'm Allison Dubois.
This is the Dead Life and allof my believers out there don't stop
believing.
Join us next week on the deadlight.
And don't forget to subscribenow to get notified of every new
episode.
Welcome to the Dead Life.
Here's world renowned mediumAlison Dubois.
Today on the Dead Life, I havenone other than my fantastic husband
Joe in studio to help meanswer your calling questions.
If you have a question aboutthe afterlife, your own abilities
or a relationship issue, callme at 802-332-3811 to book a reading
(00:26):
with me.
Email us atbookinglisondubois.com if you want
to watch past and presentepisodes of the Dead Life, follow
me on YouTube, please like andsubscribe, check me out on Instagram
at medium alison.
Check out divination22.com tofind out where to purchase my intention
setting vodka.
(00:46):
Well, Joe, I know you've beenbusy at work, so thank you for being
here.
You're welcome.
Yeah.
You have been a busy, busy boy.
Busy boy.
Straight from presentationthere to presentation here.
I know I shouldn't ask so much.
Oh, I love spending time with you.
And I got my baguette pen fromParis, which is my favorite pen.
(01:09):
Is that not the most amazing pen?
It's the most.
I love it.
So we have so many callingquestions that we're doing a two
part episode because I had toget through some of them.
This that we're backing up.
So we're going to go ahead andstart with four this week and four
(01:29):
next week.
So do you want to start withthe first call in?
Yeah, I got the list right here.
Great.
Hi, Allison, this is Jenniferfrom Morristown, New Jersey.
I called in a few weeks ago,but I'm calling in again because
I have another question or afew questions.
(01:51):
I was wondering, you know, I'malmost 50 years old and I've had
a lot of trauma in my life.
I was verbally and physicallyabused as a child.
I was bullied in high school,raped at 18.
Then I was now married almost20 years.
(02:17):
But it's been up and down.
In the beginning of ourrelationship, we were separated and
my family wasn't too crazyabout it about him.
And we had a three year oldand a one year old and we were separated
and I was living with myparents, he was living with his mom
and we were reconciling and Igot pregnant and I ended up having
(02:43):
an abortion after muchdeliberation with my husband.
So my first question is, doesthat baby, did that baby have a soul
yet?
And if so, does it hate me?
(03:09):
I know I'm a religious personand I've repented for many years.
So I have come to terms thatGod has forgiven me.
But I still think about thatbaby every Single day.
And I can't help but feelguilty still.
(03:32):
So that's one question.
And my other question is thatcan a person be attracted to trauma?
You know, about eight yearsago, our house burned down and we
barely made it out alive.
And then a year ago I almostdied because I found out.
(03:54):
I went into cardiac arrest andfound out that I.
My heart was built the wrongway from when I was born and I needed
open heart surgery.
You know, a lot of, I've had alot of almost death, let's put it
that way.
I don't want to say near deathexperiences because nobody came to
(04:17):
me and I didn't see a light.
So.
But I was unconscious, so Idon't know what was happening to
my soul at that point.
Was it just asleep?
Am I dead inside?
So I included Jennifer'sbecause she did seem to be in quite
(04:41):
a bit of distress over her life.
I'm going to start with thesecond question first.
Can people be attracted to trauma?
And I guess perspective isimportant in how you look at your
life and what unfolded.
So I believe she said she wasin a fire.
So she survived it.
(05:03):
Yeah.
Right.
So I would feel prettyblessed, protected.
I survived it.
Cardiac arrest after that.
Survived it.
Right.
So, Jennifer, I think ifanything, your time here wasn't done.
And you're still here to dowhatever it is that you're here to
(05:25):
do, whatever you're callingyour purpose, your journey, your
karma that you're workingthrough, all of that is still a work
in progress.
So I did want to say, though,the perspective of if I survive those
two things, I would definitelyfeel watched over and loved by the
(05:47):
other side.
Maybe there's no memory ofalmost dying because the near death
experience of communicatingwith the people on the other side,
maybe she didn't get closeenough to having that experience,
thankfully.
Yeah.
So I know that she's had a lotof ups and downs in her life, but
as far as attracted to trauma,I think she's been put through some
(06:11):
trials and challenges in herlife that she came out of so blessed.
The first question about theabortion, and I included this because
a lot of women struggle withthis and everybody talks about it
as though it's nothing or it'ssomething that is easily gotten over,
(06:33):
which isn't the case.
I mean, I've been on thisplanet a long time.
I've seen a lot of things.
I know a lot of people.
And that is something thatwill continue to weigh on women that
make that difficult decision.
Does her baby hate her?
No, absolutely not.
The soul of the children,their understanding of what you're
(06:56):
going through and thedecisions that you make.
Now if the baby had been born,it may have taken her down a different
path where maybe somethingwould have been resolved or understood
better.
But if Jennifer wasn't readyto have that baby and her husband
wasn't ready to have that babyand they made that decision together,
(07:19):
then that's something you justhave to sort of sit with and take
responsibility for.
We won't know what that otherpath would have looked like.
I understand why she carriesthe guilt.
That baby would find a wayinto the family.
In my experience, they'reeither born in a future child.
When the person's ready tohave children, they come through
(07:43):
in that way.
Or it could be a niece or anephew that is born to Jennifer.
It could end up being agrandchild down the road.
So one way or another, thoseenergies, those babies souls don't
sit on the other side indefinitely.
They get to live out a lifehere in the physical world.
(08:04):
So I don't want her to thinkthat she stopped something that'll
never have the opportunity tosee the beauty of the physical world
and the beauty of life.
It will, one way or another.
So she was a vessel in at thatpoint and she took a turn and chose
(08:25):
not to.
And you know what, Jennifer?
That's okay.
So stop beating yourself upover that and recognize how blessed
you are and your worth as well.
I hope that in the future youwere or are able to find a partner
who makes you feel valued aswell as enjoying your other children.
(08:52):
I mean, if we truly feel sorryfor having to make that difficult
decision, the least we can dois put all that energy that we would
have put in that child intoour other kids and be extra exceptional
parents, extra amazing.
And I hope that Jennifer isable to do that and enjoy her life.
Don't focus on the past so much.
(09:16):
Don't obsess over the thingsthat went wrong in life.
Learn from them and moveforward in your journey.
Because otherwise you're goingto get stuck in the past and stuck
in a rut with all of thenegatives in your life that may have
happened for a reason.
(09:37):
And I think with the fire andthe cardiac arrest instances like
that happening in our life areoften so that we start to appreciate
what we have, our time, ourlife, our presence here in the physical
world.
And we don't take it forgranted or squander it.
So I hope that she's able todo that and to consider that.
(10:02):
Yeah, well said.
I was really surprised.
That's two very heavy topicsright off the bat.
And I really like the messagethat you're giving her that with
a little shift in perspectiveyou say, yes, there's some really
difficult things that havehappened in her life.
But you know what?
For whatever, for a goodreason, she didn't die in the fire.
(10:26):
She didn't die from cardiac arrest.
So somebody out there iskeeping an eye on her, protecting
her, protecting her.
And there's a reason thatshe's still here.
And she can go forward andheal from all those things and learn
something, I suppose, butdefinitely teaching all of us something.
(10:47):
So I guess.
Thank you for calling in, Jennifer.
Thank you.
All right, Are you ready?
Born ready.
Hi, Allison, My name is Sherry.
I listen to your podcast.
Just recently, last week, as amatter of fact, we had a family member
(11:07):
close to the family memberthat committed suicide.
She was.
Had depression and dealingwith it, but she had shot herself.
And she was married to a veryclose relative of my husband.
(11:28):
Actually they call themselves brothers.
My question for you basicallyis when someone does commit suicide,
is their spirit in kind of aholding because that really wasn't
their natural time, or do theycross over?
So that is my question.
(11:49):
Thank you so much and thankyou for your shows.
Take care.
Bye.
This is a topic that I'vewritten about in my books because
it's so widely asked.
And I am happy to answer thisagain because some people are being
(12:09):
affected by suicide now thatdidn't know they would 10 years ago
and there will be somebodytomorrow, unfortunately, that will
deal with it, that neveranticipated dealing with this topic
as well.
And I had a father that was inone of my books put it the best.
He said, it's very hard tounderstand why your child would murder
(12:32):
themselves.
You know, you worry aboutother people hurting them and then
it's done at their own hands.
And we struggle to understandthat with this suicide.
She asks, are they in aholding pattern?
No, they do cross and they gowhere everyone else is.
They aren't in purgatory or hell.
(12:56):
They go to be with theirrelatives and the other people on
the other side.
Usually there's either anatural chemical imbalance that exists
in their system that theystruggle with sometimes, then try
to self medicate and it goestoo far and then they don't.
They're really not thinkingrationally and it can lead to them
(13:19):
doing something they wouldn'tnormally have done or that would
be out of character.
So I see suicides in twodifferent ways, but both involve
not being able to thinkclearly, sometimes it's neurological
or chemical and biological.
Other times it's from drugs ordrinking and not being in a good
(13:42):
state of mind.
And worst case scenario, it's both.
So the sherry's relative thatpassed would be crossed and the chemical
imbalance or the addictionfalls away.
And so that person would bevery clear and focused and aware
(14:04):
of the aftermath of their passing.
So sometimes suicides, peoplewho die of suicides, and I almost
feel like I need to speak forthe dead so that people can understand
this.
You are a speaker for this?
I am a bit of an interpreter.
(14:24):
So they feel shame when theycross and they see the destruction
and pain that they're passing caused.
They also see the people whoare alive that blame themselves for
not taking their phone call.
Or I, I should have known.
(14:46):
I should have sensed it.
These guilt games that theliving play and they feel responsible
for that.
So a lot of times suicideswill feel such shame, you won't feel
them around.
And it's not that they're notaround, it's that they hang in the
background to see how you'redoing because they're afraid of interrupting
(15:08):
your life with their presence.
I find it very helpful ifyou've lost somebody to suicide,
if you say to them, I want youto be part of my life.
You don't need to feel shamearound this.
There's no blame.
I know you weren't in a good place.
You weren't thinking clearly.
(15:29):
I accept that you love me.
I love you.
I do need you.
So please be there for me.
And once you do that, itremoves that energy for them of the
shame and their own guilt sothat they can be more present for
you.
Does that make sense?
No.
It does.
(15:50):
Another deep topic.
It took a long time fromhearing all the readings that you
do to understand what it'slike when people cross over, that
they are sort of the bestversion of themselves.
And so they're still them,very much them.
And you do need to talk tothem like you would talk to them.
(16:12):
At the same time, chemicalimbalances are gone, so maybe they're
not exactly the same becausethey don't have that heavy weight.
It takes a long time.
I mean, it took me a long.
Maybe it didn't take you quiteso long because you're pretty amazing,
but it took me a long time toreally kind of intuitively understand
(16:35):
that.
And so, yeah, I think I'm gladyou took this question and I love
the answer.
And I think that we'll havethis question again next year.
Right.
And the year after, unfortunately.
So they are themselves inthose moments that are peaceful,
the way you remember them, thelaughing with them, the good times
(16:56):
moving, minus the erraticbehavior and depression.
That's gone.
So if people can imagine thoseparts of them, that's what you speak
of when you say the best partsof them.
That's great.
So I hope that helps.
Sheri.
All right, so now we.
Hi, Allison.
Thank you for taking my question.
(17:19):
I lost my daughter.
She was 20 weeks gestation.
I have two other kiddos beforeher, and I didn't have any pregnancy
complications.
They were both delivered ontime and healthy.
But unfortunately, with her,my water unexpectedly broke with
very little signs or symptoms.
(17:41):
And the doctors did all thetests on me and her, and they could
not find a rational reason whythis would have happened.
So to provide some sort ofclosure or healing, I did seek out
a reading from a medium.
(18:01):
And I just.
I'm just a little unsure about it.
So what the medium told me wasthat her name was Greta, that Greta
was the soul of the baby thatI lost, and that she changed her
mind.
She said that Greta changedher mind, that her brain was sick,
(18:26):
and she didn't want to do thatto me.
She didn't want to put me andmy family through losing, or rather,
sorry.
She didn't want to put me andmy family through the hardship that
we would have had raising her.
And if she did come into theworld, that she would have came for
all the wrong reasons.
(18:47):
So I guess a couple ofquestions I have is, one, at 20 weeks
gestation, do our souls enterour bodies in utero?
And two, if she.
This is true, and she diddecide to leave, is there a way I
(19:08):
could have prevented her frommaking that decision?
And three, I do believe she'swith me, and she does give me some
sign.
But then there's a little partof me maybe thinking I just want
her to feel alive with me.
And I guess I don't know whatI meant by that last statement.
I'm still heartbroken.
This happened a year and ahalf ago.
(19:29):
So any input you would have, Iwould greatly appreciate it.
Thanks much.
So this is an unusualquestion, so I wanted to.
Oh, yeah, you always deal withwhen people die.
But now here, we're dealingwith people before they're born,
right?
Yes.
I like it.
Everything under the sun.
I'm so sorry that you lost achild at 20 weeks.
(19:53):
Having been pregnant myself, Iunderstand how attached you already
are at that point.
There's a couple of differentpoints I don't like to disagree with
other mediums, I can only giveyou my own sense and my own experience.
(20:15):
I've never experienced a childthat was in utero deciding to not
come into the world to put youthrough that.
Because if the child, say,let's just for argument, say, had
brain cancer, that was goingto go through a painful life here,
(20:36):
that perhaps their soul wasbeing sent here for that reason,
to either learn or teachsomething from it.
I've never seen a soul thenpull back and go, nah, I don't want
to put you through that.
So to me, that didn't ring true.
True.
The fact that she named her.
(20:57):
I think sometimes it's betterto let the parents assign a name
to have that emotionalconnection to the pregnancy rather
than the medium.
Maybe she thought she heard that.
I don't know the person thatyou speak of, you're going to grieve,
obviously, this.
This loss for a long time.
(21:19):
It's been a year and a half,and it could have been something
as biological or simple as themembrane around the child not being
strong enough so the water broke.
So the fact that they couldn'ttell that via either autopsy or just
(21:41):
their own experience, to me,just says that they probably didn't
look that hard, you know, tojust see if there was a tear or something
that happened in it, or maybeyou wouldn't even be able to determine
that.
I don't know.
I'm not a doctor and I.
I don't claim to be, but Iwill say there's a million reasons
(22:07):
why it could have happenedthat wouldn't need an explanation
other than biologically, therewas a weakness somewhere in that
pregnancy.
I don't see it as being adecision the soul made to not come
into this lifetime, to not puther through something with her family.
(22:28):
So that just really wasn'tfeeling that at all.
She asked about at 20 weeksgestation, does a baby have a soul
yet?
In my experience, and I'd haveto say this is even with my own pregnancies
that I had around that time, Ididn't feel that kind of force within
(22:55):
me.
You know, it was somethingthat came down the road when, you
know, when they're born andthey start growing their personality
and laughing and reaching foryou and having likes and dislikes,
all of those things seem tobulk up.
(23:16):
The soul, they let it flow.
That's what I was thinking.
Sometimes you've broughtthrough children and you even have
a role with your personalreadings that you do every week,
that if they're babies, itcan't be the.
It's limited information, very limited.
And it really seems like theirsoul kind of develops in a way, like
(23:40):
you said, bulk up and it'slike, yeah, they're there, but it's
not one moment that all of asudden they're not there and then
they're there.
Exactly.
It's more like a slow process.
An evolution.
An evolution, sure.
So another thing is we're sofortunate in the modern world and
in our country thatpregnancies are pretty, I don't know,
(24:07):
successful.
It's not that long ago, Ithink that many women died and the
babies died.
It was tragic.
It was a very dangerous thing.
The early 20th century, Ithink it was a 40% mortality rate.
Right.
And so this is a good thing.
It's very tragic and it's veryhuman and it's something we can learn
(24:31):
from, but it's not, I don'tknow, she felt maybe guilty that
there was something she couldhave done differently and every mother
would.
Well, I think every.
Everyone likes to feel thattheir child is somehow predestined
for them, you know?
Sure.
I mean, it's based on emotion.
It's just.
It is what it is, theevolution and it's why with readings
(24:55):
I say, I just need your firstname and the relationship to the
person I'm bringing through.
So when it is a child, Ialways say I just want to make sure
they're older than two.
Because for me, even though,and I've had two year olds, there's
some personality to that.
(25:17):
That's when they get the terrible.
Sure.
And you get a lot of personality.
Right.
And you can see the force ofthem growing.
You can see them starting tohave their real likes and dislikes
and.
And you start getting a realsense for their soul and who they
are.
And not that babies in utero,they have a bit of a personality,
like they're different.
Sure.
But it just hasn't grown.
(25:38):
Right.
So, you know, as far as thatsoul, if it wasn't intended to come
in in this lifetime to her, tobe her child, then that's okay.
It will still find a way inwhich we just talked about with Jennifer.
Right.
So the child's soul will finda way into the family one way or
(26:01):
another.
So you may not feel herforever out there.
So if that energy goes away,it can be because it was born into
the family and it's no longeron the other side waiting sort of
for that body to come in toyour life.
I'll wait for an update.
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe she's going to haveAnother child.
(26:23):
You know, maybe she ends uphaving another child.
Maybe.
Maybe a niece or nephew.
But either way, the child'ssoul will find its way in.
It just felt as though thesoul early on in pregnancy is unevolved.
That's all.
Gotcha.
Okay.
There we go.
Okay.
(26:45):
Hi, Allison, this is Susanfrom Michigan.
I just want to say I love yourpodcast with your family.
When you have your family on,when you have Tom McMullen on and
Granny Magic, it's justenjoyable and insightful.
And I just want to say Iappreciate you.
My question is, my mother died.
(27:06):
Well, my mother died in 20,and she died with complications due
to dementia.
And she had a difficult, hardlife her whole life and then died
from dementia.
To me, that was God's way ofhelping her forget her difficult
(27:28):
life, but not her children, still.
Although she did.
And what I want to know is,after we die in the afterlife, will
she be free of that chain thatbound her during her life?
(27:48):
Will she be free to live inthe afterlife and be happy and enjoy
people and things?
So that's really all I wantedto know.
Thank you, Allison.
Goodbye.
I thought Susan's question isalso a good one, especially with
this being a nine year.
(28:10):
For those of you just joiningthe show, if you add 20, 25, you
add the numbers up, it breaksdown to a nine.
So that's how we determine anine year.
It's a year of endings.
A lot of people will bepassing and letting go this year.
So as far as the conversationon her mom dying of dementia, I thought
maybe there's somebody outthere that this will end up helping
(28:31):
as well.
Yes.
People who have dementia, andI find them so interesting because
they're in between this worldand the other world, the afterlife.
So often you'll hear them talkabout people that died 50 years ago
as though they're here.
And they often don't let gofor a really long time.
(28:54):
And people will say, oh, myGod, you know, they're gonna outlive
me.
And that's because why wouldthey want to let go when they have
everyone they love rightthere, living or dead, all the time?
Even if they don't recognizeyou, their soul senses you and knows
somehow you belong around them.
Sure.
And we're built to live.
(29:15):
We fight to live.
Like.
Well, it's what you do fromyour first breath.
Sure.
So she is free to be happy.
On the other side, she'llrevert to the age that she was the
happiest, whether that'sfalling in love or having kids, whatever
that was.
To her.
So just rest assured that yourmom is where she wants to be, looking
(29:38):
the way she wants to, focusedand feeling content.
All of that pain that sheexperienced in the physical world
falls away when we pass,unless there's some, you have to
make some sort ofreconciliation or amends with someone
(30:02):
on the other side and thensome of that will remain, but not
in a way that's going to hurtyou, in a way where it's explained
to you why we had to gothrough certain trials and tribulations
that we resented having to gothrough and how that changed us and
why that was necessary.
So, Susan, your mom is lookingin on you, wanting, you know, definitely
(30:27):
wanting the young pictures ofher put up and for you to remember,
don't we all, how much, howmuch happiness you brought her, your
versions of her heaven.
You gave her those momentsfrom the time you put your little
arms around her neck when youwere small and gave her a kiss when
she was sad, when you know allof those little moments are versions
(30:49):
of their heaven.
And she would be so gratefulto you for everything you did did
for her.
So, Susan, thank you forcalling in.
Yeah, I'm glad you took allthese questions that have to do with
what it's like on the other side.
It's comforting.
And we'll do it again.
(31:09):
Yes.
Because we got another batchof four that we're going to go through
for next week.
So thank you for being hereand for adding your, your spin on
everything from a pragmaticpoint of view, a male point perspective,
and just as my husband, thankyou so much.
(31:33):
And, and thank you to my listeners.
Tune in next week for part twoof this week's Call in episode.
I'm Allison Dubois.
This is the Dead Life and allof my believers out there don't stop
believing.
Join us next week on the deadlight.
And don't forget to subscribenow to get notified of every new
episode.
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