Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Brad Nelson (00:00):
Hey, so have you
ever driven past a packed
restaurant and thought I thoughteveryone was broke or
struggling?
How are these things so busy?
Or maybe you've scrolled pastfriends posting from concerts or
in new cars and wondered howthey're affording it.
You're not alone.
In this episode, we dive intothe disconnect between people
claiming to struggle and thespending that says otherwise.
(00:23):
Now I asked this question onsocial media and the responses
were raw and revealing.
From credit card debt to YOLOculture.
We're unpacking what's reallygoing on and how you can stay
grounded amid the chaos.
Stay tuned.
Announcer (00:40):
You're listening to
the Debt-Free Dad podcast with
Brad Nelson.
Brad and his co-hostsexperience the anxiety of living
paycheck to paycheck beforelearning the fundamentals of
financial success.
They are now on a mission toempower regular people to pay
off their debt for good andenjoy happier, less stressful
lives.
Keep listening forinspirational interviews, tips,
(01:02):
tricks and practical advice togain financial freedom.
Brad Nelson (01:11):
Hey guys, welcome
to today's show.
I'm Brad Nelson, the founder ofDebt-Free Dad.
I paid off about $45,000 ofdebt.
I've been debt-free now formore than 12 years.
I've also helped thousands ofother people save and pay off
tens of millions of dollars withthe work that we do here at
Debt-Free Dad.
Amber Taylor (01:24):
And I'm Amber
Taylor.
My husband and I saved and paidoff $54,000 in 20 months, and
we've been living debt-freeoutside of our mortgage since
2018.
Ryan Nelson (01:31):
And my name is Ryan
Nelson.
My wife and I paid off $160,000over eight years while raising
three kids.
Brad Nelson (01:37):
Now, after
listening to this episode, you
guys, if you're ready to takethings to the next level, you're
ready to break free from livingpaycheck to paycheck, you want
to reduce financial stress,build your savings and finally
pay off debt for good, but again, you're not sure where to get
started.
We've created some incrediblefree resources here at Debt Free
Dad to help you get there, andI'll be sharing some more
details about that later on intoday's episode.
So I know Ryan and Amber.
(01:58):
You guys know the social mediaposts that stirred up this
episode and I asked the question.
In fact, it was a TikTok and Ialso posted it on Instagram and
Facebook.
I've been thinking this for awhile and we are always hearing
news.
Obviously, we know thestatistics of money and personal
finance.
It's the number one thing thatwe stress about.
The majority of people areliving paycheck to paycheck.
The majority of people can'thandle a $500 emergency expense
(02:20):
without going into debt.
It's one of the number onecauses of divorce and money
fights and relationships andmoney is a very tough topic for
a lot of people.
But if you go out into the worldand again, depending on where
you live and the situations thatyou're in, you might see
different things, but it's justapparent to me you know, why is
everything so busy?
I mean, you look at restaurants.
(02:42):
You look at movie theaters.
You look at I mean heck, theseconcerts even.
And concerts just blow my mindbecause of how expensive they've
gotten.
I mean you can't go to, like, aheadlining concert without
spending minimum of a hundred,sometimes hundreds of dollars to
get a ticket to even go to theshow.
You look at sporting eventsheck, even college or
professional sporting events.
(03:03):
I mean it just seems like thepopularity of these, even though
people are struggling, it's notgoing away.
In fact, I feel like it'sgetting even bigger and
sometimes it's even harderlonger waits at restaurants and
you don't get tickets to go tothe show.
And you look at social media.
You look at what the news issaying.
You look at what conversationspeople are having and everyone's
saying that everyone isstruggling so bad.
(03:25):
Well, if that's the case, whythe heck are these places so
busy?
So I'm interested.
We're going to go through,because we had thousands of
comments on this, this post.
It blew up pretty quick and wehad a lot of interesting
feedback, in fact, so much sothat we had to use AI to go
through and evaluate whateverybody was saying because
there's so many comments it wasimpossible to kind of go through
(03:46):
them all.
But I'm just interested in whatyou guys think, because I'm sure
you guys have those feelingsAgain, Amber especially.
You know you live in Canada,you're in a completely different
country, you know, ryan, you'rein Tennessee, completely
different place in the UnitedStates than I am.
What are you guys seeing andwhat are your guys' thoughts
with this?
Amber Taylor (04:02):
Well, I mean, I'm
seeing prices go up, but I'm
also seeing people still goingout and doing things, and I'm in
sales.
And I was talking to a friendlast night and I said, yeah, I
haven't had a lot of eventslately, but the ones that I am
having, holy crap, people arespending money.
And she was like, really, Ithought everyone was being so
frugal and not spending as muchmoney and watching their.
I'm like, uh-uh, that's notwhat's happening, that's not
(04:24):
what I'm seeing.
I don't know why.
Like they're just going intodebt, like what's going on?
Brad Nelson (04:28):
That was what I
kept hearing.
Is that well, I shouldn't saykept.
It wasn't the I don't think thebiggest comment that we had,
but it was pretty common is well, you know what Things are bad?
I'm going to spend money andenjoy my life, or I'm going to
go into debt and enjoy my lifebecause I can't take it with me,
Right?
So are people just like we'vetalked about on this show?
(04:50):
Are they in this doom spendingmode where it's like, well,
they've bought into the factthat there is no hope,
Everything's crumbling, so whynot live now?
That was definitely somefeedback we got.
Ryan Nelson (05:01):
Yeah, it's
interesting this week's
newsletter that came outyesterday.
It's one of the key thingsabout why people don't want to
get started on their finances,and it's really this concept
about what's called present biasand this was totally me when I
was in debt.
It is so much easier and somuch more rewarding to do
(05:23):
something in the moment than todo things that are going to pay
off in five or 10 or 15 or 20years.
I think it's just a humannature thing of like I am
feeling bad and if I go do thisthing and spend money, I will
feel good and I can do that now,whereas if I don't do that
thing and I save my money, I'llfeel good, but it won't be for,
(05:46):
like I said in my opening, ittook us eight years to get out
of debt.
Now, did we do things along theway?
Sure, but there was a lot ofsacrifice and it was not super
fun during that time of gettingout of debt.
So if you don't have thatability to see yourself to kind
of really have that at the endof this, you're going to be able
to do way more things than whatyou can right now.
I think you just get stuck inthis moment of I'm just going to
(06:08):
keep fulfilling this need thatI have to feel good right now.
I worked hard all week.
I deserve to go out to dinnerand spend $200 or go out to the
bar, or I worked hard all year Ideserve to go on this vacation
that we really can't afford.
(06:29):
It's just that kind of feelingof we're just constantly
rewarding ourselves and I dothink it goes to the climate we
live in.
I don't know how it is like inCanada, but the climate that we
live in, it seems like nobodycares about money.
So I'm not going to care aboutmoney.
It's almost like I'm going tojust do what everyone else is
doing and I'll worry about itlater.
You know, yeah, that used to beus.
I totally get it.
I totally get the mindset Icould have cared less about
anything for my future.
In the past I was just likeyeah, we'll go to Disney again
(06:51):
for the fifth time in a row andwe have no money to do it.
We're just going to charge it.
I don't care, like, because wejust going to go and feel good.
Brad Nelson (06:58):
So I totally get
the mindset of that side of it
where it's just like live in themoment, live in the now mindset
of that side of it where it'sjust like live in the moment,
live in the now, and do youthink, like you were talking
about the climate or whatsociety is?
Do you think a lot of that isput on us, to us because of
we're so instant gratificationnow no-transcript.
(07:46):
Are we just so groomed intothis?
I want this now because itmakes me feel good now and we're
getting so much further awayfrom this thing called delayed
gratification where it's like Ineed to put in the work now so I
can have what I want later.
And people who are saying Idon't want to do that are saying
like you only live once, likewhy wouldn't I live right now
(08:07):
and why would I wait?
Ryan Nelson (08:12):
something happens
to me I don't ever get to have
that one big thing that I wasworking towards.
I'm going to do all theselittle things, you know.
Yeah, I think if you look atover the last, you know, if you
look at the history of creditcards and the history of getting
people to spend money, I mean Ithink that's been the goal all
along.
If you just look at the last 10years and the evolution of just
all the different ways thatthey separate you from your
money, there's so much I mean,there's billions and billions of
dollars wrapped is how do I getyou to buy this thing that you
(08:38):
don't really need or reallyreally want?
But I'm going to make you wantit and you're going to do it
anyway.
Amber Taylor (08:44):
Well and then they
get it that same day right.
Ryan Nelson (08:46):
Yeah, yeah, I mean,
there's no more waiting anymore
.
Yeah.
You know, I mean I can go rightnow anywhere I want and buy
pretty much anything.
I mean I can buy a dog and putit on payments.
I could buy a tattoo and put iton payments.
There's nothing that I can't goand buy to fill the urge right
this second.
Amber Taylor (09:06):
Yeah, and then
once you have it, you have it
right.
If you waited and you saved, itmight get to a point where,
like well, you know what, that'snot really important to me.
And something else came up.
Brad Nelson (09:14):
Yeah, correct.
Well, and I think the otherthing too is that plays a huge
role into this is social mediain itself.
For instance, ryan, youmentioned Disney, like Universal
, just opened up their new themepark called Epic, and it looks
pretty freaking awesome.
You know, I watched a couple ofvideos on it this past weekend.
I didn't know it was, I knew itwas open.
I didn't know it was open yet.
I think it's.
I don't know, maybe it's notofficially open yet, but by the
(09:35):
time this episode airs, I'm sureit will be.
But I watched just a couplevideos of it and all of a sudden
, I'm seeing this on my feed allthe time.
Guess what I did?
I went to the Universal'swebsite.
I was like I wonder how muchthey're actually charging to get
tickets for this.
You see, I think in this day andage we are so, especially when
it comes to algorithms andthings that we're consuming.
We're so consumed by seeingwhat other people are doing in
(09:58):
their lives, seeing wherethey're on vacation, seeing the
stuff that they're buying,seeing the things that they're
experiencing, or, as opposed tolike when shoot, when we were
kids, like the only way that weknew about anything that was
happening with any of this kindof stuff was if you watch TV
really, and if you had maybe oneor two friends, that maybe went
on experience it.
But now, with social media,you've got thousands of
(10:24):
so-called friends on socialmedia right, where you're seeing
a lot more of this stuff inyour face, and is that causing a
lot of us, a lot more of us, tosay I want to experience this,
I want to do this, I want to bea part of it?
Amber Taylor (10:31):
I think so.
I think it's pushing us to wantmore and more and more.
Brad Nelson (10:35):
It's huge.
Like you look at TikTok shopand all these different things.
And again it's huge.
Like you look at TikTok shopand all these different things.
And again, concerts you look atconcerts.
You know, like the whole TaylorSwift thing last year, how
crazy that got with her tour andhow popular she was on social
media and how many people werespending thousands of dollars on
tickets to go to that show.
And I mean, again, not allartists compare to that, but
it's similar.
You know where these artists geta buzz or they go viral and all
(10:58):
of a sudden I got to go do thisor I got to do that thing.
Heck.
You look at the NFL, I mean youlook at pro sports If it's a
popular game, I mean everythingis just so hyped.
And you got to be a part of theexperience and you know, I
think there's a lot of peoplebuying into that.
But I want to go through someof these comments, you guys and
again we got a lot of them.
It's probably gonna beimpossible to kind of go through
every single one of them, buthere's just a couple of things
(11:20):
that people had said and againwe had to put this through AI to
kind of tell us, like, what arethe popular trends that you're
seeing with all of thesecomments?
And here are some of the thingsthat people said.
One said I believe that thereare so many people here not
everyone is actually going tothese things, so is actually
going to these things.
So what they're saying is likeit might look like everyone's
doing it and they could be right.
A lot of people are probablystill at home, right, but they
(11:43):
tend to pick the event that theyreally want, they said, and
pass on the rest.
So they're being mindful, andmaybe some people are.
They're saying I want to go tothat football game or I want to
go to that concert, but thenthey're not doing anything else.
That was one person's feedback.
Another person said peopledon't know how to be poor.
They spend all this money andthen say I'm broke.
(12:03):
No, you spend money on yourdumb beep, which I think you
know.
Again, I think there's a lot ofpeople who probably fall into
that category.
Another person said justbecause they are broke in their
banks doesn't mean that thecredit cards are being maxed out
.
And he says, yeah, right, andthat's true.
I mean, credit card debt is atan all-time high.
(12:24):
It's never been as high as ithas been right now.
Ryan Nelson (12:27):
You just need to
realize and this was us you can
look like you have it all goingfor you and not have a dime to
your name for the most part.
Yeah, and that was us.
We had nice house, new cars,vacations, all of it and behind
closed doors we were freakingout that we had $20 in our
(12:48):
checking account until the nextpayday, and I think that that is
what gets lost all the time ispeople assume that well, if my
neighbor's doing it, it means Ican do it Right, and I was the
neighbor doing it and I shouldhave had no business doing it
financially.
Yeah, can do it right, and Iwas the neighbor doing it and I
should had no business doing itfinancially, you know it's not
just the neighbor anymore either, though it's like your friend
in another city, you know yesyes
Brad Nelson (13:09):
yeah, here's a
couple more.
I go into debt to have fun,because it sucks, just to pay
bills.
Uh, another one we're supposedto just stay locked in the house
and cry all day, or what?
Lol.
Another person says doomspending.
So you know they're bringing updoom spending.
Another person InterestingDistraction is a hell of a drug,
so yeah, yeah.
(13:30):
Yeah, very much.
So If you're stressed, life ishard.
Yeah, spending money can bethat easy thing that makes you
feel good, that instantgratification.
So yeah, spending money can bethat easy thing that makes you
feel good, that instantgratification, so true.
Another person says I thinkpeople are so stressed out they
don't even care anymore.
I guess some people figured I'mgoing to die anyway.
Might as well enjoy life whileyou can.
Amber Taylor (13:49):
Yep YOLO.
Brad Nelson (13:50):
Yep, yep, I can
understand that Sarah passed
away several years ago and Istruggle with that too.
Now, having someone so close toyou pass away at such a young
age, it's like you do come faceto face with that reality of
like you might be young but youjust never know when your name
is going to be called Right, youjust never know when your time
is going to be up.
So it can be easy to get suckedinto some of that.
(14:10):
It can get easy to be like whatthe hell does any of this
matter anymore, right?
Ryan Nelson (14:30):
And we've talked
about on the show.
You know, finding that balanceof you only live once we're
going to enjoy life.
But also, hey, we also got totake care of our stuff too.
I get it, but you have a very,very high percent chance of
getting to the point whereyou're in your 70s, especially
as our age increases.
Again, this used to totally beme.
I never cared, but you got toreally ask yourself do you want
(14:52):
to be the person that's 75 or 80years old, waking up to go to a
40-hour-a-week job because youwanted to have fun when you were
in your 30s and 40s and 50s and60s and you just didn't care
Because, is it 100% possiblethat something could happen?
Yes, it happened to our mom.
She was only 57.
I'm 50.
I get it, it's on the back ofmy mind, but there's also a high
(15:14):
chance that that's not going tohappen.
And I don't want to be sittingthere at a store being a greeter
at Walmart or something at 75because I just decided to have
fun.
Now, if I wanted to go do thatfor extra money, hey cool.
But I don't want to be forcedinto that decision because I
wanted to go do these otherirresponsible things now, and I
think that's just a piece that.
I think it's just it's hard toget over that.
(15:36):
But I think, especially whenyou're young, I know, when
you're young, I know, whenyou're young it doesn't seem
like.
It seems like 50 and 60 are sofar off.
But this is the older, wiserpeople it's like you blink a few
times and suddenly it's likeholy, you know, in my mind I'm
still 26, yeah, um, but it'sjust not reality.
I mean, it's gonna go byquicker than you think.
(15:56):
So, yeah, I would challenge youto think differently on that.
Brad Nelson (15:59):
Well, you're
absolutely right.
There's a lot of people thatI've spoken with, in fact, a
friend of mine and he has afriend.
He's older though, he's in hisseventies, and he knows that I
do this for a living.
And one of the first thingsthat we talked about was you
know, he saw my hat and he saidwhat do things that he regretted
is that he's like Brad, I'vealways made six figures.
He's like I always had a reallygood living.
(16:20):
He was a car salesman and he'sactually shared a lot about the
car business, which has beeninteresting, just kind of learn
about it.
But he did say he's like onething I never did.
I never looked at my future andsaid I need to put some of this
money away.
He's like I always kind oflived in the now and it hit me
(16:41):
in the face Like it's acompletely different lifestyle
than what I was living before.
And there's so many people whodo live who have come to us and
said that like I just didn't payattention, I didn't put money
away.
If I had to go back and startall over again, I would do it.
And you're absolutely right.
I mean people are living longer.
People do have a better chanceof living longer than, say,
versus dying young, right, butagain, it's like those
(17:01):
experiences you have All of ushave those experiences or know
people that have passed awayyoung and sometimes we can set
this bias of like what if thatwas me?
And then we start to say like,well, I'm going to live my life
that way because I'm expectingto die young, you know.
So you got to be careful alittle bit with that mindset.
Another individual says I'mstruggling, but I want my
chicken nuggets.
Man, it's $4.
(17:22):
Let me have this Right, andthat was one thing I will say.
And again, I worry about mykids, as I'm sure you guys worry
about kids and how they'regoing to afford life.
I mean, you look at housing andhow expensive things are right
now and I kind of wonder.
It's like man, I know adults,like growing adults who have
full time incomes that areeither trying to get a house or
struggling to afford the housethat they're in or whatever
(17:43):
property taxes, and it's like Iworry about my kids and being
able to afford some of thosethings.
And so many people had saidI'll never be able to buy a
house, I'm never going to getthere, so why even bother?
Focusing on the future andagain, similar to what this
person said, I want my $4chicken nuggets right.
Another person said you can befinancially stable sitting at
home ready to die, or unstable.
Ryan Nelson (18:08):
Be financially
stable sitting at home ready to
die or unstable out enjoyinglife Interesting.
And this just goes back to thatconcept that if you are
financially stable and you are,you know, responsible with your
finances, that somehow meanslike you don't enjoy life,
you're boring, you don't buyanything, you don't go anywhere,
you don't do anything, all youworry about is counting your
pennies, and it's like thatcouldn't be further from the
truth.
Don't go to the store on a whimanymore and spend 500 bucks
(18:30):
because I just am bored, it's.
The only difference is I'm veryintentional about what we do
with our money now, instead ofjust randomly doing it and then
being like I have no moneyBecause you're buying stupid
stuff.
Don't buy stupid stuff.
Brad Nelson (18:43):
Yeah, I totally
agree and I think it goes back
to what we were saying.
You know, I mean, I think somany people are just consumed
with social media, what's goingon on social media.
They're consumed and influencedby what other people are doing
that they tend to just not haveany sort of direction in their
life or what they need or whatthey want, and without direction
, it's stressful.
You know, you're always feelinglike it's not enough.
(19:03):
You're always feeling likeyou're not going to have enough,
you're not getting enoughexperiences.
But the reality is is once youput together a direction of your
life and you say these are thefinancial goals, this is where I
want to live, this is whatretirement looks like for me,
this is what I want for my kids,and you're steadfast in that,
you have a solid foundation ofwhat that means to you, the rest
of the stuff doesn't matter,you guys, it just doesn't matter
(19:24):
.
Like it's so easy to ignore somuch of the noise out there and
not let it get to you, becauseyou know what you want and
you're focused on getting it.
So, guys, in wrapping this up, Ijust really there were also
people who commented and saidyou know, I'm not struggling, I
am doing well and I think it'sfair to say that some people
aren't.
Some people are doing well.
I'm not struggling, but again,it's not because I just have
(19:46):
this fortune given to me, butit's because of all the hard
work that we've done and thegood times and the bad over the
last 15 years.
And I think that's where, for alot of people who are also
doing similar work, theycommented like this person says,
I make $1.2 million a year andI don't get my nails done, I
don't get Botox, I don't colormy hair twice a year, I go on no
(20:07):
vacations, and they say thatthey do this just to stay
debt-free and they say F, debtis what they say.
Now I think this is a littleextreme man.
Amber Taylor (20:16):
If you're making
$1.2 million, go on a vacation
man.
Brad Nelson (20:20):
This is a little
extreme for me.
Have some fun, you're allowedto, you don.
That's a little extreme for me.
Like, have some fun, likeyou're allowed to.
Like, you don't need to make$1.2 million to stay debt-free.
Okay, right, I think this is onthe yeah, the extreme side.
Go, have some fun, you canenjoy life.
You've deserved that right.
Another person says we stoppedtraveling when we stopped using
credit cards and focused on debtpay down.
They're at almost $50,000 paidoff and they say it's so worth
(20:43):
it.
Amber Taylor (20:43):
It is worth the
sacrifice, though, like when you
sacrifice some of that stuff atthe beginning, man, it's worth
it.
But now, once we're debt free,like we can save and have those
fun travels and have those funexperiences and not come home
and go, oh, now I gotta pay thisoff, you know, because we saved
and paid for it so you canstill have fun and still be
living good, right?
Brad Nelson (21:03):
Yeah, absolutely.
Another person says noteveryone is struggling.
Some of us are doing just fine,enjoying life.
And then another person saidsome people are living paycheck
to paycheck on $120,000 a year,which is absolutely true, and
others living on Social Securityhave money to spare.
It's all about lifestyle andit's so, so true.
So, again, I think the point oftoday's episode, guys, is just
(21:24):
to be mindful of the things thatyou're seeing out there and
don't be influenced by whatyou're seeing.
If restaurants are packed andconcerts are full and sporting
events are full, how are thesepeople doing?
It's easy to say that I'm notkeeping up, I'm not able to do
the things everyone wants to do.
Again, focus on what yourfinancial goals are, what your
savings, what your debt payoffplans are, the life that you
(21:45):
want to live, and again yourlife becomes less anxious, less
stressful, because you're nottrying to keep up with what
everybody else is doing.
All right, guys, if you'reready to break free from living
paycheck to paycheck, you wantto reduce financial stress, you
want to build savings andfinally pay off debt for good,
but again you're not sure whereto start.
Don't worry, we've got youcovered.
(22:10):
Simplify my Money is sent to youeach Sunday to your email.
It is your step-by-step roadmapto better financial control,
and you're also going to learneasy-to-follow strategies to
manage your money effectively.
It's stress-free moneydecisions also that are going to
help you simplify yourfinancial life with proven tips
that actually work, and you'regoing to gain the tools and
confidence to tackle yourfinancial goals head-on.
Sign up for a.
Simplify my Money by clickingthe link at the top of that may
be.
(22:32):
Let's talk about death.
Amber Taylor (22:35):
Let's talk about
death.
Tune into Death.
Ryan Nelson (22:48):
Free Death Tune
into Death Free.
Amber Taylor (22:51):
Death.
And that's on me.
It's time for the celebrationsof the show.
First, we have Heather.
Well, it's been 21 days sinceI've used my personal credit
cards.
The challenge is real andextremely difficult, but I'm
working on it.
Brad Nelson (23:06):
Yeah, that's
awesome.
21 days is a great stretch.
Awesome job, Misty says our winfor the week is that we were
able to buy shorts for the kidswith cash.
This week I did use my Targetcard to save the extra 5%.
However, I will pay that offlater today.
I am very cautious aboutearning rewards and cash back by
using my cards due to theincreased risk of overspending
(23:28):
and then not paying the card offin full, which is awesome.
But I went into Target forshorts and came out with less
pairs than I planned to buy.
My kids both had growth spurtsover the fall and winter.
I know how those go.
And she says the accountabilityof the Roots group is wonderful
.
Ryan Nelson (23:43):
Awesome job, Misty
of the Roots group is wonderful.
Awesome job, misty, camille.
$500 until my student loan iscompletely paid off, and I just
booked a three-week trip toJapan and paid cash for all of
it thanks to the sinking fund Ihad for that specific expense.
I can't remember the last timeI paid for a big purchase
without using a credit card, ifever.
And man for me, I remember whenwe started getting out of debt
(24:06):
and we paid for a vacation infull for the first time.
It was just a completelydifferent feeling of going on
vacation knowing that it wasalready paid for.
So awesome job, awesome.
Brad Nelson (24:16):
Hey guys, as always
, congratulations to all of you
guys who are taking a stand foryour financial life and you're
wanting better.
Hey, again, we get that.
Getting out of debt isn't easy,but with our help and with your
consistency and discipline, wepromise you guys, this can be
some of the best work that youdo in your entire life.
Thanks for joining us ontoday's show and we will see you
guys on the next episode.
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(24:59):
Catch you next week.