May 13, 2025 • 23 mins
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In this episode of Debt Free Dad, Brad Nelson and co-hosts Amber Taylor and Ryan Nelson explore the nuances between being frugal and being cheap. They discuss personal experiences and societal perceptions surrounding financial decisions, such as bringing your own snacks to events, using coupons, tipping, and choosing between generic or name-brand products. The conversation highlights the importance of aligning spending with personal values and intentional living. They also touch on DIY projects and the ethics of tipping, challenging listeners to reconsider their money habits and mindset.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Brad Nelson (00:00):
Have you ever skipped a tip, returned a gift
or brought your own snacks to anevent, thinking you were just
being smart with your money?
Now, there's a fine linebetween being frugal and being
cheap, and today we're walkingstraight down the middle of it
and in this episode we're goingto be challenging your money
mindset and maybe even sparkinga few debates here along the way
.
Stay tuned.
Announcer (00:23):
You're listening to the Debt-Free Dad podcast with
Brad Nelson.
Brad and his co-hostsexperience the anxiety of living
paycheck to paycheck beforelearning the fundamentals of
financial success.
They are now on a mission toempower regular people to pay
off their debt for good andenjoy happier, less stressful
lives.
Keep listening forinspirational interviews, tips,
(00:44):
tricks and practical advice togain financial freedom.
Brad Nelson (00:50):
Hey guys, welcome to today's show.
I am Brad Nelson, the founderof Debt-Free Debt.
I paid off about $45,000 ofdebt.
I've been debt-free now formore than 12 years.
I've also been fortunate tohelp thousands of other people
save and pay off tens ofmillions of dollars with the
work that we do here at DebtFree Debt.
Amber Taylor (01:04):
And I'm Amber Taylor and my husband and I
saved and paid off $54,000 injust 20 months and I've been
living debt free outside of ourmortgage.
Ryan Nelson (01:10):
I'm Ryan Nelson, and my wife and I paid off
$160,000 over eight years whilewe were raising three kids.
Brad Nelson (01:18):
So, guys, after listening to this episode, if
you are ready to take things tothe next level, you're ready to
break free from living paycheckto paycheck, you want to reduce
financial stress, build asavings and finally start paying
off your debt for good, butmaybe you're just not quite sure
where to get started.
We've created some incrediblefree resources here at Debt Free
Dad that can help you get there, and we'll be sharing some more
details about those later on intoday's episode.
(01:40):
So, guys, today's the debate isabout frugal versus cheap, and
I got to say right off the bat,when people hear, or even our
social media content, or here welive debt free or I have no
debt, they immediately will havethis stereotype that I am
frugal or I am cheap, and maybeyou guys have shared that same
(02:01):
experience, but it is, it'salmost an immediate thing.
Well, you must not have any funor you must not like to spend
any money.
And I got to say I think that'slike the furthest thing from
the truth and that's why I lovethis conversation today.
Ryan Nelson (02:12):
Yeah, I'm super cheap with some stuff, just so
you know.
Well, I'm excited.
Amber Taylor (02:18):
I think it depends .
It depends what I value.
So like I might, you know,cheap with some stuff, not cheap
with other stuff.
It all depends on my values.
Brad Nelson (02:24):
Well, I think that's the key right there.
It's based on your values.
And I think, man, when I wasthinking about this and I'm like
looking at my life, I don'tfeel like there's an area that
I'm frugal or cheap with.
It's just I just don't spendany money on things I don't care
about anymore.
That's the thing.
Like people might look at thatand say, well, I care about that
, you don't spend money on that.
(02:45):
That means you're frugal oryou're cheap and it just means
not.
I just don't really care Likevehicles, for instance, for
years and years and years, andeven today, I really don't care
too much about the vehicle Idrive, just as long as it's
reliable and it can get me towhere I want to go.
But if it's got some rust andsome scratches and some and the
interior isn't so great In factthe pickup truck I just recently
sold, the ceiling fabric wascoming down in some areas I just
(03:06):
didn't care.
It wasn't.
I guess I don't call it frugalor cheap.
It's just like you said, Amber,I just don't necessarily put a
ton of value into having like apristine vehicle.
It's just as long as it runsright and it gets me to where I
need to go.
So, in saying that there's areal difference between being
(03:27):
smart with your money andletting money control your life,
and frugality, in my mind, isbeing more intentional, whereas
cheapness is more I don't knowthat I would say fear-based, but
it's just man, you're justbeing cheap right Now.
Ryan, you said there's thingsthat you're cheap at, so I wanna
go through this a little bitand talk about some of these
examples.
I've written up some exampleshere from people that I know
have done these things.
(03:48):
Some of them I've done, and I'mjust curious to see what ones
you're going to put in.
So, Ryan, I'm going to let you,because you already said,
there's a lot of things thatyou're cheap with.
Ryan Nelson (03:56):
I think a big area for me is I mean, it used to not
be, but I you may have seenthose reels or those TikToks
it's when you graduate tothinking the clothes at Costco
look nice and it's like I don'tcare, I just like I have shirts
and pants, and so there'scertain things that I'll look at
(04:18):
pictures and we'll look atpictures and I'm like, oh my God
, I've had that for five years,you know, and some people would
say that's cheap.
But I do think, after you kindof explained it, I mean I think
it does go back to that and Imean again, I, I don't have
things that are terrible, youknow, it's not things that are
just torn up or all that.
I just don't find a lot ofvalue in going and buying nice
clothes.
Now, when I was younger, I did,I used to go to the mall, I
(04:40):
used to want to have, you know,this and that.
But I think, as I've gottenolder, there's just certain
things it's like and again, partof it is just like I go to the
store, you go to the mall.
It's like I'm not spending $80on a pair of pants.
I'm sorry, I just can't do care.
(05:04):
You know, I'm okay being cheapin that area in my life.
Amber Taylor (05:07):
Yeah, I think that's an age thing too.
Yeah, right, age thing.
Brad Nelson (05:10):
And is that just like a man thing too?
Yeah, there's a lot of men thatI know that are that way they
could care less Like I got.
I have a friend of mine, hisname's Tim I'm going to call him
out right now and he, this dude, I swear I'm like kind of
similar to you, right, I'll buynicer clothes and things you
know obviously not like supernice, I guess, in terms of
(05:31):
expensive.
I don't want to have like justgrubby clothes all the time.
But this guy goes to theextremes Like he.
He wears things that have holesin them constantly and just you
know things that he needs toreplace socks like his socks
mismatch.
It's like that is to theextreme of cheap.
He even admitted like I've hadunderwear that I've had for
(05:52):
years and years and years.
It's like OK, there's a pointof where you're being again
smart with money and thenthere's a point where it's like
yikes, right.
Amber Taylor (06:01):
I don't know, that's a man thing Like.
Sometimes I throw out myhusband's underwear.
I'm like you still wearingthese Ew, and I throw them out.
So it happens.
I mean he has gotten better atthrowing out his holy socks and
stuff, but I'm super frugal whenit comes.
I'm not going to say cheap,because when it comes to
shopping for clothes and stuff,super frugal and I love bargains
and I love going to like thriftstores and stuff like that.
So yeah, I'm not buying fullprice clothes.
(06:24):
Very rarely on my buy fullprice clothes.
Brad Nelson (06:26):
I think there are things that I'm willing to spend
some money on, though, when itcomes to like things like
clothes, like like when I buy apair of shoes.
I don't buy a cheap pair ofshoes Like I will buy a hundred
$120 pair of shoes Even for somepeople that buy like well,
that's not really that expensivebut for me to spend 100 to 120
hours on a pair of shoes, like Iknow that that pair of shoes
gonna last me a year or two aslong as I take care of them and
(06:46):
I pay.
Amber Taylor (06:47):
I buy 10, 20 pairs of shoes yeah, well, right.
Brad Nelson (06:51):
And again, like if you're a female, right, you got
outfits and things that you wear.
Like you would never buy likeone color, specific pair of
shoes and probably spend well,there might be some people out
there who might do it whereyou'd spend hundreds of dollars
on that pair of shoes, likeyou're going to go to a cheaper
shoe store because you're onlygoing to wear them for a couple
of events here and there.
Right, yeah, yeah.
So in that terms, I thinkyou're being smart.
Like for me to pair of jeans,like Ryan.
(07:11):
Now, you mentioned like youdon't spend a lot of money on a
pair of jeans, like I will, I'llspend a hundred bucks because
I'm going to fall apart on me.
So I think there are some things.
When it comes to like clothingitems, I'm definitely not cheap
on.
Same thing, like when it comesto like vehicles, if you're
(07:32):
going to buy tires, I don'talways elect for the cheapest
tires that I can find.
Now, again, if your budget onlyallows you for that's one thing
.
But if you're doing it and youhave the money to spend on more
quality tires, in my opinion youshould get the more quality
tires because they're going tolast you longer.
So I think there is thisbalance of cheap and frugal.
Any other ones that you guyshave, where you feel like you're
(07:53):
that you're really, reallycheap on.
Amber Taylor (07:56):
You know, what happens to us often is I'm super
cheap DIY projects, like I'mlike no, we could do that, yeah,
you know.
And then we end up spending waymore or have to call somebody
to fix it.
So sometimes it bites us in thebutt.
Sometimes, it works out.
Brad Nelson (08:13):
Yeah, that's a big one.
Right now we're getting readyto just minor updates in our
bathrooms and there are thingsthat I could do.
But I'm thinking in my head is,man, if this gets messed up,
it's going to cost me way moremoney to have someone come in
and fix it, versus just say,spend the money and have them
come in and do it.
There are certain projects thatI tend not to get involved with
(08:36):
, especially when it comes toplumbing and things like that.
I can do minor stuff, but, man,plumbing is not my thing.
Anytime I've ever tried to doit.
It doesn't go well.
So I've learned my lesson.
It's like it's better just tobring in a professional and just
have them do the work.
Yes, you're going to pay alittle bit of money for that,
but it saves me time and thefrustration and having to figure
it out myself.
So I think you know, when itcomes to DIY, yeah, I think you
(08:58):
have to balance out like whatare the risks if this does not
go well, and is it worth it tobe cheap or more frugal to do it
yourself?
But you know, you talk aboutthings like painting and light
fixture change outs and thingslike that.
Like those things are supereasy to do, but when you get
into the more of the mechanicalsof things, it get interesting
(09:18):
for sure.
So let's run down a few otherones, guys.
So here's a good one.
And Ryan, I don't know if youremember this, I remember
grandma used to do this, takingextra condiments and supplies
from restaurants to bring to thehouse.
So, like you know, I remembergrandma like taking the sugars
and taking the extra ketchuppackets or extra silverware and
all that stuff from restaurantsand putting them in person.
(09:39):
And I remember mom yelling ather you can't do that, you can't
do that.
Well, yes, I can, I paid forthe food.
Mom yelling at her, you can'tdo that you can't do that?
Amber Taylor (09:45):
well, yes, I can.
I paid for the food.
I will admittedly say I havefilled a ketchup bottle at my
house with packets so you havedefinitely crossed the line of
cheap I have crossed the line.
Yes, I mean we were struggling,but so I made it work.
Ryan Nelson (10:02):
I got got half a ketchup bottle.
Right, it takes some commitment.
Amber Taylor (10:06):
Right, yeah, it really does I was like I'm not
throwing these out, this isgoing in my bottle.
Brad Nelson (10:11):
Oh, too funny.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Here's another one.
We've talked a little bit aboutthis one on the show, but
buying name brand foodingredients versus buying
generic.
Now this is a good debate, umit depends on what it is it
depends on.
I agree it depends on what it is.
There are just some things likeI'm all about aldi here in the
united states united.
I mean I love aldi, you cansave some good money, but there
(10:34):
are some things at aldi that Iwon't buy at aldi because it
just doesn't taste quite thesame as like a name brand,
ingredient yeah, like mustard ismustard.
Amber Taylor (10:44):
To me it doesn't matter what it is.
Yeah, ketchup, I think I got togo Heinz for the most part
Peanut butter.
Here in Canada it's got to beKraft, kraft peanut butter.
I can't buy any other peanutbutter.
Brad Nelson (10:55):
Yeah, peanut butter can get interesting.
Amber Taylor (10:56):
Yeah, yeah.
Brad Nelson (10:58):
And ketchup can too .
It just depends.
Amber Taylor (11:02):
I'm sure people have bought the cats up brand
that's only on your side of theborder.
Brad Nelson (11:07):
It's a little bit different than the regular
ketchup right.
Ryan Nelson (11:12):
This is a big one for me here too.
Number one I love to cook andI'm all about trying to save
some money.
I don't want to call people out, but I have had people where I
go and I make something at theirhouse with the stuff they've
bought and there is a 100%noticeable difference in taste
and texture and how it is, andit's like man, this doesn't
quite taste like yours and it'sbottom line.
(11:34):
It's because of that.
There are just certain thingsdepending on what you're making,
and I do think, like this goesinto like cooking If you do cook
and you are trying to savemoney, don't always just go for
cheap, because cheap might belike this isn't very good,
whereas if you just spend alittle more, you know and like
you, aldi has great things, allstores have great things, and
(11:54):
then there's just certain thingsthat I've learned that I don't
buy.
There's certain butter I buy.
There's certain flour I buy.
You know there's certain thingsI buy that I know make the
stuff taste the way it shouldtaste.
People do, I think, buy a lotof, you know, go to the store
and try to be as frugal or cheapas possible, and then they're
just like, yeah, this isn't asgood.
But if you just change theingredients, you'd be surprised.
(12:15):
Oh, this completely changes thetaste of this.
Brad Nelson (12:18):
Right yeah, and you do have to kind of go on a
little bit of an adventure oftrying things Like.
And you do have to kind of goon a little bit of an adventure
of trying things Like some ofour.
You know we have kids in ourhouse and you know they don't
like generic brands, certainsnacks and things, because they
taste different, but for someodd reason they love the generic
brand of string cheese versusthe name brand string cheese,
which is so strange to me, Forme for coffee, like I don't go
(12:40):
out for coffee unless I'm ontravel, right.
So I loved Dunkin' Donuts coffeeand when I was living paycheck
to paycheck, that was a placethat I would stop and frequent
and get my coffee there.
Well, I don't do that anymore.
I just make it at home.
So I buy Dunkin' Donuts coffeebecause I like it, right, but it
is more expensive thanobviously a lot of the generic
brands or some of the brandsthat aren't as popular, but I'm
(13:01):
willing to spend the money therebecause I like it.
So I guess you could say I'mfrugal in the sense that I'm not
going to go out for coffee, butI'm not going to completely
give it up and I'm just going tomeet it halfway and at least
buy the coffee and just make itat home.
Here's another one Bringingyour own snacks to a movie
theater or event.
Okay, I'm guilty.
Amber Taylor (13:21):
It's more than the movie Right To buy their snacks
.
Brad Nelson (13:26):
To buy it all.
Yeah, exactly yeah.
Who hasn't done this?
I mean, I think we can allagree that this is being very
frugal and, heck, there's evenbeen times I've even brought a
cocktail to the movie.
They don't know what's in thatcup.
Here's what I can't.
Amber Taylor (13:48):
Oh man, this one irks me, but not tipping at a
restaurant to save money.
Brad Nelson (13:49):
Big negative.
You should not be doing this.
If you can't tip and go out toa restaurant, you should not be
going to that restaurant.
Right, yeah, that's just a nobrainer.
We have friends who are, youknow, bartenders or waitresses
or waiters and they share thesestories.
People, some people just don'ttip.
That's crazy to me.
If you go to a service typeestablishment like, you have to
(14:11):
expect that you're going to tip.
So yes, you are being cheap ifyou're not tipping.
Now it's one thing.
I guess if you get horrendousservice and I think there's
probably maybe only one or twotimes in my lifetime that I can
think of that, I probably didn'ttip because of that.
But one or two times in mylifetime that I can think of
that, I probably didn't tipbecause of that, but it made
them very aware of it.
It wasn't like something I justkind of left them in the dark
about.
I mean they were, they knewright, um, so I mean I can
understand those particularsituations, but if you're
(14:32):
getting halfway decent servicelike you should be leaving a tip
.
Ryan Nelson (14:37):
I'm going to throw one in here and goes with that,
because I drive DoorDash is uh,you shouldn't be ordering
DoorDash if you don't want totip either.
Yes, yeah, and that's a hugedebate, huge debate on social
media, and I'm not going to sithere and say what you should tip
or how much you should tip, butif your intention is to not tip
, then you shouldn't be orderingit.
(14:57):
I feel like that's cheap andregardless of how those people
are paid or you know, I don't doit to rely on the money, I do
it for extra money.
Regardless of how they're paidor what you think or whatever,
it doesn't matter.
You are not having to go out towherever it is that you ordered
it from.
They're bringing it to you.
As long as everything's right,you should tip something.
Brad Nelson (15:18):
Now don't you have?
Ryan Nelson (15:18):
to tip when you order, though.
Yeah, you typically tip ahead,and then you can modify it
afterward if you had to.
Brad Nelson (15:24):
Are you finding that people do that?
They'll put a tip on there andthen they modify it and take it
off.
Ryan Nelson (15:28):
No, I don't really run into it a lot.
I would say the vast majorityof people have tipped.
I don't.
I think there's only been ahandful of times where they
don't.
But the argument out there isyou know, you choose to do that
job, so therefore I shouldn'thave to tip.
And it's like let's just be incheap, Right?
You say that to a waitress, yousay it to everybody.
Like you choose to do that job,I don't have to tip you what.
(15:49):
That's not how it works, that'snot how it works.
Brad Nelson (15:52):
Yeah yeah, we've done a whole episode, by the way
, on tipping.
Has it gone to extreme levelsfor certain things?
But yeah, when it comes to aservice business or hospitality
type business, I mean tipping isjust a, it's just a known thing
.
You got to figure that in.
In my opinion, don't becheaping out and not doing those
things.
I wish Katie was on the episodefor this one, but using a
coupon on the first date.
(16:15):
I don't know, I guess I this iswalking a line.
This is more than frugal orbeing cheap.
This is like first impressionstype stuff, right, I don't
know't know.
What do you guys think?
Did you throw in a coupon onthe first date?
Ryan Nelson (16:29):
I don't think so it's so hard because, like I'd
say, like when I was younger, no, now that I'm the age I'm at,
I'm thinking like you know, if,for whatever reason, I found
myself where I had to be datingagain, I just don't care.
I mean, I don't know, I thinkit depends.
I would not call that a hard noor whatever.
(16:52):
I just you know.
Amber Taylor (16:53):
Well, and I love a good coupon, it's the first
date part that's questionable.
Brad Nelson (16:57):
Yeah, maybe a second date, yeah, yeah.
I think it's more firstimpressions for me.
Rather than being frugal orcheap I don't know that I want
to put that first impression outthere right away.
I bought this coupon buy one,get one.
Here's another one.
Filling up on free samples atCostco or like a Sam's Club and
(17:21):
calling in lunch Check Yep,let's do it.
I think anyone who's a Costcoor Sam's Club and call me at
lunch Check Yep, let's do it.
I think anyone who's a Costcoor Sam's Club member yep, that's
what we're all in there for.
That's why they do it to getyou in there.
But, crazy enough, you'rereally not being frugal, because
every time I go do that, I'mleaving with $200 to $300 worth
of stuff in my car.
Amber Taylor (17:37):
Absolutely so.
I mean, eh, what's a littlelunch?
Brad Nelson (17:41):
Pretty sure Costco's winning in that one.
Ryan Nelson (17:43):
Yeah, my favorite is hey, yeah, these 12-pack of
kielbasa's are only $5.98.
And I'm like, hmm, yeah, I'mnot buying them.
That's what I pretty much do.
It's like you kind of have thatlook on your eye like, oh
interesting.
Amber Taylor (17:59):
And in your head.
Brad Nelson (18:00):
You're like I'm not buying that.
Do you ever feel somewhatguilty, though, when you're
sitting there and you're likeyou're eating?
You're like, yeah, this isreally good.
They're telling you about thesale.
Ryan Nelson (18:07):
You just kind of walk right, right, exactly.
Thanks for the free, the freefood.
Amber Taylor (18:13):
I'm out I have no guilt there, no shame.
You're just on to the next one.
Yep, what's next?
Brad Nelson (18:20):
or how about the ones you like?
Try and you're just like that'sgross.
All right, next one wearingdesigner knockoffs.
This is definitely not up myalley, because I don't care less
but I don't really care.
Amber Taylor (18:35):
I mean again, I shop at thrift stores and stuff.
So if something happens,there's a knockoff there and it
looks nice and it fits nice, I'mbuying it.
I don't care, I don't thinkit's cheap, but I'm not buying
it for the name either.
So right.
Brad Nelson (18:48):
Packing lunch every day instead of eating out with
the co-workers.
Oh, this one's easy for all ofus.
I'm going frugal on that one,that's that's a good choice,
especially if you're wanting tosave money and get out of debt.
Buying the absolute cheapesttoilet paper that falls apart.
Ryan Nelson (19:03):
That's cheap.
That's cheap for sure I only do.
I only got to deal with that atwork.
You know you go to work, work'sgot the the one ply stuff Right
.
Amber Taylor (19:15):
You're ripping off all the toilet paper Right
Exactly.
Well, that's just it right,You're using way more.
Brad Nelson (19:20):
You're probably they're probably spending as
just as much because people areusing way more of it.
Yeah, all right.
And then last one we got as anexample is lying about your
child's age to get them in forfree or at a cheap price.
Amber Taylor (19:32):
You can only do this for so long, because the
kids at least.
No, I'm not, I'm this age.
Brad Nelson (19:37):
You know what I mean and that's the worst when
they do that.
Yeah, she's only five, I'm six.
Shut up yeah, I think that'scheap.
Amber Taylor (19:50):
I think, it's cheap, but I've definitely done
it.
Brad Nelson (19:52):
I'm not going to lie, Granted.
You know, it's not like I'm,you know, saying they're five
years younger than what theyreally are.
They're like right on the line.
It's like, yeah, we can letthis one slide, are?
They're like right on the line?
It's like, yeah, we can letthis one slide.
So, in ending this, guys, Ithink it goes back to what you
said, Amber, about value, and Ithink that's where you really
(20:12):
got to evaluate cheap versusbeing frugal.
And I think that's what we talka lot about on the show is that
, you know, just because youdon't want to buy something or
participate in something oryou're willing to save some
money in certain areas, itdoesn't necessarily mean you're
cheap.
It just means that your valueshave changed.
And I think it's like you knowwhat I said when I opened it up.
People immediately will put thestereotype on you that you're
being cheap or frugal whenyou're debt free or you're
(20:34):
wanting to improve your financesor you're living on a budget,
and the reality is is thatyou're just becoming more
intentional, you know, with yourspending.
But there definitely can bethat fine line of are we being
really cheap here to save moneyor get out of debt?
Are we being more intentionaland being frugal.
All right, guys, if you're readyto break free from living
paycheck to paycheck, you wantto reduce financial stress, you
(20:56):
want to build savings andfinally pay off debt for good,
but again, you're not sure whereto get started.
Don't worry, we've got youcovered.
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(21:17):
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Let's talk about debt.
Let's talk about debt.
Amber Taylor (21:35):
Tune into Debt Free Debt, tune into Debt Free
Debt.
And that's all I mean this timefor the celebrations of the
show.
First we have Nick.
(21:55):
We finished our emergency fundtoday.
By next month hospital billswill be paid off and we are
projected to have four otherdebts paid off by the end of the
year.
Brad Nelson (22:06):
Yeah, that's incredible.
Awesome job, guys.
Brenda.
She says I've paid off $39,525in debt Savings.
I've got $1,300 and hoping toget $2,000 by the end of the
year.
Brenda, that is amazingprogress, great job.
Ryan Nelson (22:23):
And Melinda still working out in our emergency
fund.
We're close to start payingthings off on our snowball
Awesome.
Brad Nelson (22:29):
Way to go, melinda.
Hey guys, thanks for joining uson today's episode.
Hey, we get that getting out ofdebt isn't easy, but with your
hard work and consistency, andhopefully with our help, we
promise you guys, this can besome of the best work that you
guys do in your entire life.
Again, thanks for joining us ontoday's show and we will see
you guys on the next episode.
Announcer (22:52):
Thanks for listening to the Debt-Free Dad podcast.
Connect with us on Facebook,tiktok, youtube and Instagram.
Just search Debt-Free Dad.
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We so appreciate it Forresources, show notes and links
mentioned in today's show.
Visit DebtFreeDadcom.
(23:12):
Catch you next week.
Have you ever skipped a tip, returned a gift
or brought your own snacks to anevent, thinking you were just
being smart with your money?
Now, there's a fine linebetween being frugal and being
cheap, and today we're walkingstraight down the middle of it
and in this episode we're goingto be challenging your money
mindset and maybe even sparkinga few debates here along the way
.
Stay tuned.
Announcer (00:23):
You're listening to the Debt-Free Dad podcast with
Brad Nelson.
Brad and his co-hostsexperience the anxiety of living
paycheck to paycheck beforelearning the fundamentals of
financial success.
They are now on a mission toempower regular people to pay
off their debt for good andenjoy happier, less stressful
lives.
Keep listening forinspirational interviews, tips,
(00:44):
tricks and practical advice togain financial freedom.
Brad Nelson (00:50):
Hey guys, welcome to today's show.
I am Brad Nelson, the founderof Debt-Free Debt.
I paid off about $45,000 ofdebt.
I've been debt-free now formore than 12 years.
I've also been fortunate tohelp thousands of other people
save and pay off tens ofmillions of dollars with the
work that we do here at DebtFree Debt.
Amber Taylor (01:04):
And I'm Amber Taylor and my husband and I
saved and paid off $54,000 injust 20 months and I've been
living debt free outside of ourmortgage.
Ryan Nelson (01:10):
I'm Ryan Nelson, and my wife and I paid off
$160,000 over eight years whilewe were raising three kids.
Brad Nelson (01:18):
So, guys, after listening to this episode, if
you are ready to take things tothe next level, you're ready to
break free from living paycheckto paycheck, you want to reduce
financial stress, build asavings and finally start paying
off your debt for good, butmaybe you're just not quite sure
where to get started.
We've created some incrediblefree resources here at Debt Free
Dad that can help you get there, and we'll be sharing some more
details about those later on intoday's episode.
(01:40):
So, guys, today's the debate isabout frugal versus cheap, and
I got to say right off the bat,when people hear, or even our
social media content, or here welive debt free or I have no
debt, they immediately will havethis stereotype that I am
frugal or I am cheap, and maybeyou guys have shared that same
(02:01):
experience, but it is, it'salmost an immediate thing.
Well, you must not have any funor you must not like to spend
any money.
And I got to say I think that'slike the furthest thing from
the truth and that's why I lovethis conversation today.
Ryan Nelson (02:12):
Yeah, I'm super cheap with some stuff, just so
you know.
Well, I'm excited.
Amber Taylor (02:18):
I think it depends .
It depends what I value.
So like I might, you know,cheap with some stuff, not cheap
with other stuff.
It all depends on my values.
Brad Nelson (02:24):
Well, I think that's the key right there.
It's based on your values.
And I think, man, when I wasthinking about this and I'm like
looking at my life, I don'tfeel like there's an area that
I'm frugal or cheap with.
It's just I just don't spendany money on things I don't care
about anymore.
That's the thing.
Like people might look at thatand say, well, I care about that
, you don't spend money on that.
(02:45):
That means you're frugal oryou're cheap and it just means
not.
I just don't really care Likevehicles, for instance, for
years and years and years, andeven today, I really don't care
too much about the vehicle Idrive, just as long as it's
reliable and it can get me towhere I want to go.
But if it's got some rust andsome scratches and some and the
interior isn't so great In factthe pickup truck I just recently
sold, the ceiling fabric wascoming down in some areas I just
(03:06):
didn't care.
It wasn't.
I guess I don't call it frugalor cheap.
It's just like you said, Amber,I just don't necessarily put a
ton of value into having like apristine vehicle.
It's just as long as it runsright and it gets me to where I
need to go.
So, in saying that there's areal difference between being
(03:27):
smart with your money andletting money control your life,
and frugality, in my mind, isbeing more intentional, whereas
cheapness is more I don't knowthat I would say fear-based, but
it's just man, you're justbeing cheap right Now.
Ryan, you said there's thingsthat you're cheap at, so I wanna
go through this a little bitand talk about some of these
examples.
I've written up some exampleshere from people that I know
have done these things.
(03:48):
Some of them I've done, and I'mjust curious to see what ones
you're going to put in.
So, Ryan, I'm going to let you,because you already said,
there's a lot of things thatyou're cheap with.
Ryan Nelson (03:56):
I think a big area for me is I mean, it used to not
be, but I you may have seenthose reels or those TikToks
it's when you graduate tothinking the clothes at Costco
look nice and it's like I don'tcare, I just like I have shirts
and pants, and so there'scertain things that I'll look at
(04:18):
pictures and we'll look atpictures and I'm like, oh my God
, I've had that for five years,you know, and some people would
say that's cheap.
But I do think, after you kindof explained it, I mean I think
it does go back to that and Imean again, I, I don't have
things that are terrible, youknow, it's not things that are
just torn up or all that.
I just don't find a lot ofvalue in going and buying nice
clothes.
Now, when I was younger, I did,I used to go to the mall, I
(04:40):
used to want to have, you know,this and that.
But I think, as I've gottenolder, there's just certain
things it's like and again, partof it is just like I go to the
store, you go to the mall.
It's like I'm not spending $80on a pair of pants.
I'm sorry, I just can't do care.
(05:04):
You know, I'm okay being cheapin that area in my life.
Amber Taylor (05:07):
Yeah, I think that's an age thing too.
Yeah, right, age thing.
Brad Nelson (05:10):
And is that just like a man thing too?
Yeah, there's a lot of men thatI know that are that way they
could care less Like I got.
I have a friend of mine, hisname's Tim I'm going to call him
out right now and he, this dude, I swear I'm like kind of
similar to you, right, I'll buynicer clothes and things you
know obviously not like supernice, I guess, in terms of
(05:31):
expensive.
I don't want to have like justgrubby clothes all the time.
But this guy goes to theextremes Like he.
He wears things that have holesin them constantly and just you
know things that he needs toreplace socks like his socks
mismatch.
It's like that is to theextreme of cheap.
He even admitted like I've hadunderwear that I've had for
(05:52):
years and years and years.
It's like OK, there's a pointof where you're being again
smart with money and thenthere's a point where it's like
yikes, right.
Amber Taylor (06:01):
I don't know, that's a man thing Like.
Sometimes I throw out myhusband's underwear.
I'm like you still wearingthese Ew, and I throw them out.
So it happens.
I mean he has gotten better atthrowing out his holy socks and
stuff, but I'm super frugal whenit comes.
I'm not going to say cheap,because when it comes to
shopping for clothes and stuff,super frugal and I love bargains
and I love going to like thriftstores and stuff like that.
So yeah, I'm not buying fullprice clothes.
(06:24):
Very rarely on my buy fullprice clothes.
Brad Nelson (06:26):
I think there are things that I'm willing to spend
some money on, though, when itcomes to like things like
clothes, like like when I buy apair of shoes.
I don't buy a cheap pair ofshoes Like I will buy a hundred
$120 pair of shoes Even for somepeople that buy like well,
that's not really that expensivebut for me to spend 100 to 120
hours on a pair of shoes, like Iknow that that pair of shoes
gonna last me a year or two aslong as I take care of them and
(06:46):
I pay.
Amber Taylor (06:47):
I buy 10, 20 pairs of shoes yeah, well, right.
Brad Nelson (06:51):
And again, like if you're a female, right, you got
outfits and things that you wear.
Like you would never buy likeone color, specific pair of
shoes and probably spend well,there might be some people out
there who might do it whereyou'd spend hundreds of dollars
on that pair of shoes, likeyou're going to go to a cheaper
shoe store because you're onlygoing to wear them for a couple
of events here and there.
Right, yeah, yeah.
So in that terms, I thinkyou're being smart.
Like for me to pair of jeans,like Ryan.
(07:11):
Now, you mentioned like youdon't spend a lot of money on a
pair of jeans, like I will, I'llspend a hundred bucks because
I'm going to fall apart on me.
So I think there are some things.
When it comes to like clothingitems, I'm definitely not cheap
on.
Same thing, like when it comesto like vehicles, if you're
(07:32):
going to buy tires, I don'talways elect for the cheapest
tires that I can find.
Now, again, if your budget onlyallows you for that's one thing
.
But if you're doing it and youhave the money to spend on more
quality tires, in my opinion youshould get the more quality
tires because they're going tolast you longer.
So I think there is thisbalance of cheap and frugal.
Any other ones that you guyshave, where you feel like you're
(07:53):
that you're really, reallycheap on.
Amber Taylor (07:56):
You know, what happens to us often is I'm super
cheap DIY projects, like I'mlike no, we could do that, yeah,
you know.
And then we end up spending waymore or have to call somebody
to fix it.
So sometimes it bites us in thebutt.
Sometimes, it works out.
Brad Nelson (08:13):
Yeah, that's a big one.
Right now we're getting readyto just minor updates in our
bathrooms and there are thingsthat I could do.
But I'm thinking in my head is,man, if this gets messed up,
it's going to cost me way moremoney to have someone come in
and fix it, versus just say,spend the money and have them
come in and do it.
There are certain projects thatI tend not to get involved with
(08:36):
, especially when it comes toplumbing and things like that.
I can do minor stuff, but, man,plumbing is not my thing.
Anytime I've ever tried to doit.
It doesn't go well.
So I've learned my lesson.
It's like it's better just tobring in a professional and just
have them do the work.
Yes, you're going to pay alittle bit of money for that,
but it saves me time and thefrustration and having to figure
it out myself.
So I think you know, when itcomes to DIY, yeah, I think you
(08:58):
have to balance out like whatare the risks if this does not
go well, and is it worth it tobe cheap or more frugal to do it
yourself?
But you know, you talk aboutthings like painting and light
fixture change outs and thingslike that.
Like those things are supereasy to do, but when you get
into the more of the mechanicalsof things, it get interesting
(09:18):
for sure.
So let's run down a few otherones, guys.
So here's a good one.
And Ryan, I don't know if youremember this, I remember
grandma used to do this, takingextra condiments and supplies
from restaurants to bring to thehouse.
So, like you know, I remembergrandma like taking the sugars
and taking the extra ketchuppackets or extra silverware and
all that stuff from restaurantsand putting them in person.
(09:39):
And I remember mom yelling ather you can't do that, you can't
do that.
Well, yes, I can, I paid forthe food.
Mom yelling at her, you can'tdo that you can't do that?
Amber Taylor (09:45):
well, yes, I can.
I paid for the food.
I will admittedly say I havefilled a ketchup bottle at my
house with packets so you havedefinitely crossed the line of
cheap I have crossed the line.
Yes, I mean we were struggling,but so I made it work.
Ryan Nelson (10:02):
I got got half a ketchup bottle.
Right, it takes some commitment.
Amber Taylor (10:06):
Right, yeah, it really does I was like I'm not
throwing these out, this isgoing in my bottle.
Brad Nelson (10:11):
Oh, too funny.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Here's another one.
We've talked a little bit aboutthis one on the show, but
buying name brand foodingredients versus buying
generic.
Now this is a good debate, umit depends on what it is it
depends on.
I agree it depends on what it is.
There are just some things likeI'm all about aldi here in the
united states united.
I mean I love aldi, you cansave some good money, but there
(10:34):
are some things at aldi that Iwon't buy at aldi because it
just doesn't taste quite thesame as like a name brand,
ingredient yeah, like mustard ismustard.
Amber Taylor (10:44):
To me it doesn't matter what it is.
Yeah, ketchup, I think I got togo Heinz for the most part
Peanut butter.
Here in Canada it's got to beKraft, kraft peanut butter.
I can't buy any other peanutbutter.
Brad Nelson (10:55):
Yeah, peanut butter can get interesting.
Amber Taylor (10:56):
Yeah, yeah.
Brad Nelson (10:58):
And ketchup can too .
It just depends.
Amber Taylor (11:02):
I'm sure people have bought the cats up brand
that's only on your side of theborder.
Brad Nelson (11:07):
It's a little bit different than the regular
ketchup right.
Ryan Nelson (11:12):
This is a big one for me here too.
Number one I love to cook andI'm all about trying to save
some money.
I don't want to call people out, but I have had people where I
go and I make something at theirhouse with the stuff they've
bought and there is a 100%noticeable difference in taste
and texture and how it is, andit's like man, this doesn't
quite taste like yours and it'sbottom line.
(11:34):
It's because of that.
There are just certain thingsdepending on what you're making,
and I do think, like this goesinto like cooking If you do cook
and you are trying to savemoney, don't always just go for
cheap, because cheap might belike this isn't very good,
whereas if you just spend alittle more, you know and like
you, aldi has great things, allstores have great things, and
(11:54):
then there's just certain thingsthat I've learned that I don't
buy.
There's certain butter I buy.
There's certain flour I buy.
You know there's certain thingsI buy that I know make the
stuff taste the way it shouldtaste.
People do, I think, buy a lotof, you know, go to the store
and try to be as frugal or cheapas possible, and then they're
just like, yeah, this isn't asgood.
But if you just change theingredients, you'd be surprised.
(12:15):
Oh, this completely changes thetaste of this.
Brad Nelson (12:18):
Right yeah, and you do have to kind of go on a
little bit of an adventure oftrying things Like.
And you do have to kind of goon a little bit of an adventure
of trying things Like some ofour.
You know we have kids in ourhouse and you know they don't
like generic brands, certainsnacks and things, because they
taste different, but for someodd reason they love the generic
brand of string cheese versusthe name brand string cheese,
which is so strange to me, Forme for coffee, like I don't go
(12:40):
out for coffee unless I'm ontravel, right.
So I loved Dunkin' Donuts coffeeand when I was living paycheck
to paycheck, that was a placethat I would stop and frequent
and get my coffee there.
Well, I don't do that anymore.
I just make it at home.
So I buy Dunkin' Donuts coffeebecause I like it, right, but it
is more expensive thanobviously a lot of the generic
brands or some of the brandsthat aren't as popular, but I'm
(13:01):
willing to spend the money therebecause I like it.
So I guess you could say I'mfrugal in the sense that I'm not
going to go out for coffee, butI'm not going to completely
give it up and I'm just going tomeet it halfway and at least
buy the coffee and just make itat home.
Here's another one Bringingyour own snacks to a movie
theater or event.
Okay, I'm guilty.
Amber Taylor (13:21):
It's more than the movie Right To buy their snacks
.
Brad Nelson (13:26):
To buy it all.
Yeah, exactly yeah.
Who hasn't done this?
I mean, I think we can allagree that this is being very
frugal and, heck, there's evenbeen times I've even brought a
cocktail to the movie.
They don't know what's in thatcup.
Here's what I can't.
Amber Taylor (13:48):
Oh man, this one irks me, but not tipping at a
restaurant to save money.
Brad Nelson (13:49):
Big negative.
You should not be doing this.
If you can't tip and go out toa restaurant, you should not be
going to that restaurant.
Right, yeah, that's just a nobrainer.
We have friends who are, youknow, bartenders or waitresses
or waiters and they share thesestories.
People, some people just don'ttip.
That's crazy to me.
If you go to a service typeestablishment like, you have to
(14:11):
expect that you're going to tip.
So yes, you are being cheap ifyou're not tipping.
Now it's one thing.
I guess if you get horrendousservice and I think there's
probably maybe only one or twotimes in my lifetime that I can
think of that, I probably didn'ttip because of that.
But one or two times in mylifetime that I can think of
that, I probably didn't tipbecause of that, but it made
them very aware of it.
It wasn't like something I justkind of left them in the dark
about.
I mean they were, they knewright, um, so I mean I can
understand those particularsituations, but if you're
(14:32):
getting halfway decent servicelike you should be leaving a tip
.
Ryan Nelson (14:37):
I'm going to throw one in here and goes with that,
because I drive DoorDash is uh,you shouldn't be ordering
DoorDash if you don't want totip either.
Yes, yeah, and that's a hugedebate, huge debate on social
media, and I'm not going to sithere and say what you should tip
or how much you should tip, butif your intention is to not tip
, then you shouldn't be orderingit.
(14:57):
I feel like that's cheap andregardless of how those people
are paid or you know, I don't doit to rely on the money, I do
it for extra money.
Regardless of how they're paidor what you think or whatever,
it doesn't matter.
You are not having to go out towherever it is that you ordered
it from.
They're bringing it to you.
As long as everything's right,you should tip something.
Brad Nelson (15:18):
Now don't you have?
Ryan Nelson (15:18):
to tip when you order, though.
Yeah, you typically tip ahead,and then you can modify it
afterward if you had to.
Brad Nelson (15:24):
Are you finding that people do that?
They'll put a tip on there andthen they modify it and take it
off.
Ryan Nelson (15:28):
No, I don't really run into it a lot.
I would say the vast majorityof people have tipped.
I don't.
I think there's only been ahandful of times where they
don't.
But the argument out there isyou know, you choose to do that
job, so therefore I shouldn'thave to tip.
And it's like let's just be incheap, Right?
You say that to a waitress, yousay it to everybody.
Like you choose to do that job,I don't have to tip you what.
(15:49):
That's not how it works, that'snot how it works.
Brad Nelson (15:52):
Yeah yeah, we've done a whole episode, by the way
, on tipping.
Has it gone to extreme levelsfor certain things?
But yeah, when it comes to aservice business or hospitality
type business, I mean tipping isjust a, it's just a known thing
.
You got to figure that in.
In my opinion, don't becheaping out and not doing those
things.
I wish Katie was on the episodefor this one, but using a
coupon on the first date.
(16:15):
I don't know, I guess I this iswalking a line.
This is more than frugal orbeing cheap.
This is like first impressionstype stuff, right, I don't
know't know.
What do you guys think?
Did you throw in a coupon onthe first date?
Ryan Nelson (16:29):
I don't think so it's so hard because, like I'd
say, like when I was younger, no, now that I'm the age I'm at,
I'm thinking like you know, if,for whatever reason, I found
myself where I had to be datingagain, I just don't care.
I mean, I don't know, I thinkit depends.
I would not call that a hard noor whatever.
(16:52):
I just you know.
Amber Taylor (16:53):
Well, and I love a good coupon, it's the first
date part that's questionable.
Brad Nelson (16:57):
Yeah, maybe a second date, yeah, yeah.
I think it's more firstimpressions for me.
Rather than being frugal orcheap I don't know that I want
to put that first impression outthere right away.
I bought this coupon buy one,get one.
Here's another one.
Filling up on free samples atCostco or like a Sam's Club and
(17:21):
calling in lunch Check Yep,let's do it.
I think anyone who's a Costcoor Sam's Club and call me at
lunch Check Yep, let's do it.
I think anyone who's a Costcoor Sam's Club member yep, that's
what we're all in there for.
That's why they do it to getyou in there.
But, crazy enough, you'rereally not being frugal, because
every time I go do that, I'mleaving with $200 to $300 worth
of stuff in my car.
Amber Taylor (17:37):
Absolutely so.
I mean, eh, what's a littlelunch?
Brad Nelson (17:41):
Pretty sure Costco's winning in that one.
Ryan Nelson (17:43):
Yeah, my favorite is hey, yeah, these 12-pack of
kielbasa's are only $5.98.
And I'm like, hmm, yeah, I'mnot buying them.
That's what I pretty much do.
It's like you kind of have thatlook on your eye like, oh
interesting.
Amber Taylor (17:59):
And in your head.
Brad Nelson (18:00):
You're like I'm not buying that.
Do you ever feel somewhatguilty, though, when you're
sitting there and you're likeyou're eating?
You're like, yeah, this isreally good.
They're telling you about thesale.
Ryan Nelson (18:07):
You just kind of walk right, right, exactly.
Thanks for the free, the freefood.
Amber Taylor (18:13):
I'm out I have no guilt there, no shame.
You're just on to the next one.
Yep, what's next?
Brad Nelson (18:20):
or how about the ones you like?
Try and you're just like that'sgross.
All right, next one wearingdesigner knockoffs.
This is definitely not up myalley, because I don't care less
but I don't really care.
Amber Taylor (18:35):
I mean again, I shop at thrift stores and stuff.
So if something happens,there's a knockoff there and it
looks nice and it fits nice, I'mbuying it.
I don't care, I don't thinkit's cheap, but I'm not buying
it for the name either.
So right.
Brad Nelson (18:48):
Packing lunch every day instead of eating out with
the co-workers.
Oh, this one's easy for all ofus.
I'm going frugal on that one,that's that's a good choice,
especially if you're wanting tosave money and get out of debt.
Buying the absolute cheapesttoilet paper that falls apart.
Ryan Nelson (19:03):
That's cheap.
That's cheap for sure I only do.
I only got to deal with that atwork.
You know you go to work, work'sgot the the one ply stuff Right
.
Amber Taylor (19:15):
You're ripping off all the toilet paper Right
Exactly.
Well, that's just it right,You're using way more.
Brad Nelson (19:20):
You're probably they're probably spending as
just as much because people areusing way more of it.
Yeah, all right.
And then last one we got as anexample is lying about your
child's age to get them in forfree or at a cheap price.
Amber Taylor (19:32):
You can only do this for so long, because the
kids at least.
No, I'm not, I'm this age.
Brad Nelson (19:37):
You know what I mean and that's the worst when
they do that.
Yeah, she's only five, I'm six.
Shut up yeah, I think that'scheap.
Amber Taylor (19:50):
I think, it's cheap, but I've definitely done
it.
Brad Nelson (19:52):
I'm not going to lie, Granted.
You know, it's not like I'm,you know, saying they're five
years younger than what theyreally are.
They're like right on the line.
It's like, yeah, we can letthis one slide, are?
They're like right on the line?
It's like, yeah, we can letthis one slide.
So, in ending this, guys, Ithink it goes back to what you
said, Amber, about value, and Ithink that's where you really
(20:12):
got to evaluate cheap versusbeing frugal.
And I think that's what we talka lot about on the show is that
, you know, just because youdon't want to buy something or
participate in something oryou're willing to save some
money in certain areas, itdoesn't necessarily mean you're
cheap.
It just means that your valueshave changed.
And I think it's like you knowwhat I said when I opened it up.
People immediately will put thestereotype on you that you're
being cheap or frugal whenyou're debt free or you're
(20:34):
wanting to improve your financesor you're living on a budget,
and the reality is is thatyou're just becoming more
intentional, you know, with yourspending.
But there definitely can bethat fine line of are we being
really cheap here to save moneyor get out of debt?
Are we being more intentionaland being frugal.
All right, guys, if you're readyto break free from living
paycheck to paycheck, you wantto reduce financial stress, you
(20:56):
want to build savings andfinally pay off debt for good,
but again, you're not sure whereto get started.
Don't worry, we've got youcovered.
Simplify my Money is sent eachand every Sunday to your email.
It is your step-by-step roadmapto better financial control,
and you're also going to learnsome easy-to-follow strategies
to manage your money effectivelystress-free money decisions
that are going to help yousimplify your financial life
(21:17):
with proven tips that work, andyou're going to gain the tools
and the confidence to tackleyour financial goals head on.
You can sign up for Simplify myMoney by clicking on the link
at the top of that may be.
Let's talk about debt.
Let's talk about debt.
Amber Taylor (21:35):
Tune into Debt Free Debt, tune into Debt Free
Debt.
And that's all I mean this timefor the celebrations of the
show.
First we have Nick.
(21:55):
We finished our emergency fundtoday.
By next month hospital billswill be paid off and we are
projected to have four otherdebts paid off by the end of the
year.
Brad Nelson (22:06):
Yeah, that's incredible.
Awesome job, guys.
Brenda.
She says I've paid off $39,525in debt Savings.
I've got $1,300 and hoping toget $2,000 by the end of the
year.
Brenda, that is amazingprogress, great job.
Ryan Nelson (22:23):
And Melinda still working out in our emergency
fund.
We're close to start payingthings off on our snowball
Awesome.
Brad Nelson (22:29):
Way to go, melinda.
Hey guys, thanks for joining uson today's episode.
Hey, we get that getting out ofdebt isn't easy, but with your
hard work and consistency, andhopefully with our help, we
promise you guys, this can besome of the best work that you
guys do in your entire life.
Again, thanks for joining us ontoday's show and we will see
you guys on the next episode.
Announcer (22:52):
Thanks for listening to the Debt-Free Dad podcast.
Connect with us on Facebook,tiktok, youtube and Instagram.
Just search Debt-Free Dad.
If you found value in today'sepisode, please leave us a
rating and review.
We so appreciate it Forresources, show notes and links
mentioned in today's show.
Visit DebtFreeDadcom.
(23:12):
Catch you next week.
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