July 30, 2024 • 26 mins
In this continuation of part 1 episode, Diana and Spencer dive deep into the controversial topic of screen time, uncovering the alarming impact it can have on children's development.
Spencer also shares his expert insights on early literacy and how parents can unlock their toddlers' hidden reading potential.
Don't miss his FREE workshop and amazing resources!
Don't miss out on:
- Screen Time Smackdown: Spencer drops truth bombs about the impact of screens on our kiddos.
- Toddler Reading Takeover: Spencer shares his secrets for raising tiny bookworms and debunks common myths about early literacy.
- Digital Detox: Hear how Diana transformed her relationship with her kids by taking drastic measures to curb her own screen time.
Get ready for some tough love and practical solutions!
If you're interested in helping your child learn to read, check out Spencer's resources and consider incorporating playful reading activities into your daily routine.
Free Workshop: https://www.toddlersread.com/free-workshop
Website: https://www.toddlersread.com
Follow Spencer on IG: toddlerscanread
Find Diana Rene on social media:
Instagram: @the.decluttered.mom
Facebook: @the.decluttered.mom
Pinterest: @DianaRene
Are you ready for a peaceful and clutter-free home? Watch my FREE training video “Chaos to Calm” to learn how it’s possible! And find all of my resources here.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Diana Rene (00:06):
You're listening to The Decluttered Mom podcast, a
podcast built specifically forbusy moms by a busy mom.
I'm your host, Diana Rene, andin 2017, I had my second
daughter and it felt like I wasliterally drowning in my home
okay, not literally, but I feltlike I couldn't breathe with all
of the stuff surrounding me.
(00:28):
Over the next 10 months, I gotrid of approximately 70% of our
household belongings and I havenever looked back.
I kind of feel like I hackedthe mom system and I'm here to
share all the tips, tricks andencouragement.
Let's listen to today's show.
(00:49):
Welcome to another episode ofThe Decluttered Mom podcast.
Today, we are jumping into parttwo of my chat with Spencer
Russell, who is toddlerscanreadon Instagram.
If you have not listened to thefirst part of this episode,
please go back to last week andlisten to that episode, because
(01:09):
today is basically going to be acontinuation of our
conversation.
I like to keep these episodesnice and short, as you know, and
so it was just going to be toolong to have as one episode, so
today is part two.
Let's just jump right in.
Spencer Russell (01:28):
Do you get hate comments?
Diana Rene (01:30):
I do, which surprises people.
I know you do.
You know, people are like whatcould be like, what's
problematic about decluttering?
Well, people find problems.
Spencer Russell (01:44):
Can I guess?
Sure, I'm trying to think of aperson who's going to drop a
hate comment in a video to tryand help moms declutter their
homes, and my guess is it'sgoing to be someone with a
really messy house who doesn'twant to declutter.
This is just trying to get intheir head.
It's like they see you andthere's something triggering
(02:07):
about it.
Is one of the strands?
Like you can't tell me what todo, like just because this is
like your thing or whatever itdoesn't mean like we should have
to do it.
Diana Rene (02:20):
Sometimes, yes, but this surprises people when I
tell them that the largestdemographic of hate comments,
and specifically hate DMs, aremen that I would estimate to be
in their like 40s or 50s, whohave, for whatever reason, a
(02:42):
problem with my content.
Spencer Russell (02:44):
Who have, for whatever reason, a problem with
my content.
Diana Rene (02:50):
So yeah, yeah, and you give like any any example of
like a like, like a DM fromlike a 45 year old man.
Yeah, that, oh God.
Well, I can't most of them Ican't say on my podcast because
they're too intense.
But a lot of things about, likeyou know, I talk a lot in my
content about getting everyonein the family involved in the
(03:12):
process and that it shouldn'tall fall on mom's shoulders.
So a lot of it is about likeyou're a woman, you need to get
in your place, like you need,like that's your job, that kind
of thing.
That's a common DM that I getand most of those come in the
form of DMs versus comments,like I said.
But I would honestly sayprobably the biggest like, like
(03:37):
comment that I get is about likehow I'm depriving my kids
because we declutter their toys,which I think just goes back to
like a profoundmisunderstanding of what
decluttering is Like.
It doesn't mean getting rid ofall of your kids' toys.
It means getting rid of theexcess toys so that they have a
better chance of being able tohave that independent play
(04:00):
because they're not overwhelmedwalking into a room where it
looks like Toys R Us threw up,you know.
Yeah so it just goes again backto like they.
It's their, their ownmisunderstanding of what the
content is trying to express.
Spencer Russell (04:19):
I'm sorry that you get those comments.
Diana Rene (04:21):
Well, thank you, spencer, I know you do too, so I
I do, but like not that.
Spencer Russell (04:29):
What you're describing is a different kind
of of terrible is yours morelike?
Diana Rene (04:38):
is, from what I have seen, at least personally, and
you can correct me is yours moremore about?
Like the, the potentialdetrimental aspects of toddlers
reading, or like the more, Iguess, like the controversial
aspects of it that you justdebunked for us here but that
people may not have, may notunderstand?
Spencer Russell (05:01):
a lot of.
It is a lot of.
It's that stuff.
Okay, you know, like the, ifit's like some kind of like
racism or something that that's.
That's really only on likeYouTube, little like, a little
bit TikTok.
Diana Rene (05:16):
I'm sorry.
Spencer Russell (05:18):
Uh, if it's.
But honestly, like part of partof what I've appreciated about
my growth in the business isthat it hasn't been too too fast
and it hasn't been too too slow, like I have been able to grow
(05:51):
with the pushback whereinitially, you know, if someone
unfollowed me or someone sentyou know, one rude message or
there was a comment that didn'tquite seem right, it would, it
would, it would hit meemotionally and then you know,
grow, grow, grow.
And now there's a couple of day, grow, grow, grow.
Now there's more and I thinkI've been able to kind of mature
(06:11):
as the accounts have grown andas more people have come in.
So it's never been toooverwhelming.
There's certainly been days whenone comment or one message has
kind of sat with me for a day ortwo and kind of impacted my
mood in a way that I'm like notproud of, but it just it just
has.
Yeah, there, there's been timeswhen either I or someone on my
(06:37):
team has gone into like a backand forth with someone that I'm
back on.
I like hey, that was stupid.
Like should just let that onego, yeah.
I've been there but right now Isee my job at this stage as to
not try to appease anybody.
I'm not trying to make anybodyhappy.
I'm not trying to say what'spopular.
(07:00):
I'm trying to say what's right,because whether or not you know
some, some, some mom or groupof moms or dad, or you know
whoever agrees with me or not,like really doesn't matter to me
.
If what I'm saying I think it'sgenuinely useful and helpful
(07:23):
for majority of people, or if Ithink it could be helpful for
their kid, it's my job to say itand to say it in a way that is
hopefully what I want tocommunicate in my content is it
is, it is supportive and it'sloving, but you're going to be
(07:44):
pushed Like I am.
I'm going to push you.
Recently it's been a lot onscreen time and I don't, I don't
, I don't care.
Honestly, I don't care if Ilose customers, I don't care if
I lose money, I don't care if Ilose followers.
Screen time to me, helpingparents understand there is an
impact and you have to beintentional about it.
(08:05):
You've got to think throughwhat you put in front of your
kid, like that's the message forpeople to do better.
Yeah, I think, as parents, likethat's our job, that's my job,
that's my wife's job, like it is, it is our job to look
ourselves in the mirror and todo better.
And if I can play a small partin that, again with love and
(08:26):
with compassion and withunderstanding, then that's what
I'm going to try to do, and overtime I'll get better at
delivering these messages,because it's not always easy,
but that's the goal, and hate'sgoing to come with it.
But I think if you are on amission towards something that
matters, you kind of have totake it in stride, and I'm sure
that you probably feel the sameway.
Diana Rene (08:48):
Yeah, for sure.
I think you have to grow kindof a thick skin, having any type
of platform where you'resharing an opinion about
something that people may havedifferent opinions than you,
because it's the internet andpeople will tell you that they
have a different opinion.
Spencer Russell (09:07):
Yes, yes, they will, yeah, they will Every now
and then.
But my comment section issurprisingly positive.
Diana Rene (09:16):
That's awesome.
Spencer Russell (09:17):
And it's gotten more and more positive over
time, even on tough topics likescreen time.
So there's definitely pushback,but it's not like we're
drowning in it.
It's just everyone's going tohave an opinion.
Yeah, say the world is round,and like 4% of people will hate
(09:39):
you for saying that and willtell you all the reasons why
it's flat.
Diana Rene (09:42):
Yes, exactly.
Can we touch on screen timequickly?
When you talk about screen time, are you referring to the
actual amount of time that kidsare spending on screens or the
type of content that they aretaking part in, or both, both,
okay.
Spencer Russell (10:01):
For me the simplest way to share my opinion
on screen time and I hesitateto call it an opinion because I
think it's honestly just commonsense.
I think parents should have avision for their children.
Diana Rene (10:15):
Yeah.
Spencer Russell (10:20):
I think parents should have a very clear idea
of the kind of person they wanttheir kid to grow up into and
the kinds of things they wantthem to have the opportunities
to do and to experience in life.
And it might not be likecrystal, crystal clear, but if
you've never sat down andplanned a vision or a direction
or goals for your kid, Irecommend doing it.
I find people you know who wantnew jobs will sit down and
(10:43):
they'll picture and imaginethemselves in the job and
they'll do work and all thisstuff to get ready for it and
prep and prepare and take notes.
But then when we have a newchild, like that same process,
intentionality doesn't alwaystranslate over.
So if we start with like avision, then the question is is
your child on track for thatvision?
(11:07):
When you look at your kid andyou look at their behavior, you
look at how they socialize, youlook at how they interact with
you, your relationship with them.
Are they on track towards thosethings or are they off track?
And if they're off track,either they're struggling with
their social relationships orwith their communication or with
(11:29):
their focus and attention andyou notice they're off track.
You notice there's an issue.
I would wager you should lookat your screen time.
Yeah, a lot of other things too, but look at your screen time
and if your kid's spending a lotof time on screens and you
notice there's some sort ofdeficit or gap or issue in their
(11:50):
life, try cutting it back andseeing if there's an impact on
that area.
Nine times out of 10, you'llsee an improvement in their
focus, in their attention, intheir ability to just kind of be
with you in the moment, in yourrelationship with them, in
their relationship with others.
I totally get the value andutility in screens and giving
(12:14):
people a break, giving peopletime off.
I know there's a lot of parentswho are in very challenging
positions where they are kind ofbearing all of the weight and
all of the burden of all thethings with the kids.
And you know, that's just,that's just so much.
I, I, I, I, I, I get it.
You know I'm not in thatsituation myself, but I get just
(12:38):
how significant that is and howmuch of a burden and a mental
load and how tiring that is.
And at the same time, I'd beremiss if I didn't use my
platform to let people knowoftentimes, those behaviors,
those meltdowns, those issues,the lack of focus and attention
that you're seeing, that'sleading you to want that break
(13:02):
and to want that time away fromyour kids, that stuff that's
wearing you out where you justneed a second away from your
kids saying their name.
Some of that stuff isexacerbated by screens.
It is.
It is the thing that you'regiving to pacify the kid that is
causing some of the behaviorthat you're seeing that requires
you to need time away.
And so to me, it's, it's, it'sthis vicious, vicious cycle and
(13:24):
some kids are fine and it's likethe parents giving them however
much time a day, they'rewatching their bluey, they're
doing their thing, but when it'stime to turn it off, the kid
says okay, they turn it off.
They talk with their parent,they interact, they engage,
they're normal, they're fine,they're healthy, they're on this
path towards the vision.
Many, many kids are not andmany, many parents are using
(13:45):
screens as a band-aid to try tocover up a problem that the
screen is actually causing.
And there's there's plenty,plenty, plenty of research on
each of these things.
I find that people who feel themost triggered by this are
people who have kids on a lot ofscreens.
Diana Rene (14:03):
Yeah.
Spencer Russell (14:04):
And they'll say what's the research?
What's the research?
What's the research?
What's the research?
If any listener is likelistening, feeling triggered,
like Google, Google screen timeplus whatever other word you
want to add screen time andfocus screen time, and toddler
screen time and kids screen time, and you'll find plenty of
research.
Diana Rene (14:25):
Yeah, I, you might know the name of this book.
I just found it, I just orderedit last week, but I can't
remember the name of it off thetop of my head.
But it's all about like howbasically what you're talking
about like how screens impactour kids development and
behavior and socialsocialization and all of that.
(14:47):
Do you know what I'm talkingabout or no?
I'm sure there's probably a lotof them.
It was on a podcast that Iheard.
Spencer Russell (14:52):
Yeah, I forget his name.
Yeah, I don't.
Diana Rene (14:56):
Well, I um it's really interesting because I am
in the camp of my kids we don'treally limit screen time and we
never have, simply because it'snever been an issue as far as
behavior or attention or kind oflike you're talking about.
You know like they can be on theiPad and they can be drawing
(15:18):
while they're watching the iPadand then they get off the iPad
and they go play and like it'sit's.
They're able to do that.
I realize that that's nottotally typical and I also, at
the same time, even though it'snever been an issue, I'm
learning more and more aboutjust the impacts of them having
(15:38):
that screen time, even if it'snot showing me like it's not
showing up in their day-to-daylives to be an issue.
So we're starting to pull backa little bit, even in our house,
even though it's not posingdirect issues that we can see
day to day.
But I do think it's like afascinating topic that has so
(15:59):
many different levels to it.
What type of guidelines wouldyou give a parent when it comes
to screen time for a young child?
Spencer Russell (16:08):
Yeah, it really is interesting, and I think
that your example speaks to mystance where, like when my son
was younger, if we gave him anepisode of something, we did see
a difference immediately.
Okay, it was an immediate thing, and so it got taken away.
Diana Rene (16:26):
Yeah.
Spencer Russell (16:26):
It's like that's not gonna be something
that we do because there's animpact right.
So you have to look at is thishelping my kid or harming them?
And if it's harming them wepull it off.
Guidance there.
All of the guidance I've everseen from researchers has been
zero screen time of any kindbefore two.
Diana Rene (16:47):
Before two yeah, Before two.
Spencer Russell (16:49):
I try not to put hard and fast rules in place
.
But no screen time for babiesthat to me is a is a is a rule.
I feel comfortable saying hardand fast babies don't need and
it should not have screens atsuch a sensitive time in their
brain development.
Diana Rene (17:07):
That was something our pediatrician kind of drilled
into my head when I had myfirst.
So yeah.
Yeah.
Spencer Russell (17:14):
Past that I think generally it it, it
increases with age, right,you're, you're, you're not gonna
be able to keep a teenager offof screens and and nor should
you socially and all those sortsof things.
Like your, your, your kid isgoing to need to be able to make
friends and talk to them and doall that sort of stuff.
But everything in between, tome it's all about impact.
(17:38):
And how is your kid doing?
Diana Rene (17:41):
Yeah.
Spencer Russell (17:42):
Like, like, that's it.
So if I had another kid and Iwas, I was raising another kid I
would have very strict rules inplace, because that's that's,
that's my belief, that's whatI've seen with my first Right,
and the majority of parentswould say like.
That's my belief, that's whatI've seen with my first Right
and the majority of parentswould say like that's not
(18:02):
feasible, that's not doable,that's too strict, that's
whatever it's like, that's fine.
That's what I personally havestudents who are going to do it.
That's not what I'm advisingpeople to do.
That's just what I would do.
Diana Rene (18:11):
Right.
Spencer Russell (18:14):
Other people can choose their own path.
But like half, but like very,very practically if someone's
kid is on screens too much.
What I found is usually parentsknow, like usually parents
actually know this and they'revery honest about it.
They just don't know how to fixit Right.
I would.
I would take the kid offcompletely for at least a week,
minimum week like a detox.
(18:35):
Detox, exactly.
People get triggered by theword but zero, zero screens.
Your kid needs to reset that.
They, they, they need to reset.
And also, the parent needs tosee the difference.
As you take the screen away andyou go to zero, the first thing
you'll notice is just howdependent your kid was on the
(18:56):
screen and if you weren'talready super, super aware of
the problem, it'll become really, really clear.
Then you'll start to see thechange and the shift in your
kid's behavior and focus andsocializing and all this stuff
very, very quickly and I thinkthat's going to be heartening
for many people to see.
This was tough, but I'm seeingpositive changes and I think
after that point people candecide whether they want to
(19:17):
reintroduce and how much, andwhat parameters and rules and
boundaries they want to put inplace.
But I actually think it'seasier to go from a lot to zero
and then to a little than it isto go from a lot to a little.
Diana Rene (19:31):
Yeah, I agree, cause I think then the battle of
getting off the screen is battleof getting off the screen is
harder than just saying noscreens.
Spencer Russell (19:41):
Exactly.
Diana Rene (19:42):
Yeah.
Spencer Russell (19:43):
And and.
And I have one one final, veryfast note, which is like I know
this is like a very challengingsubject and topic for parents.
I'll just say, for me as anadult, screens really impact me.
Yeah, they really do, and Itrack my phone screen time every
(20:05):
day, to the minute I go on mysettings.
I check how many minutes it was, If it's too much, I look at
the apps that I spent the timeon and it is almost one-to-one.
Like there are only a couplethings in my life that correlate
with my mood, like reallysignificantly.
One is how well I've exercised.
(20:27):
Two is how well I've slept.
Three is how much time I spenton screens.
I believe it and it is, it is,it is just nuts.
I'm like why do I feeldepressed right now, Like
everything in my life is good,Like why am I depressed?
Oh, two and a half hours on myphone today.
Diana Rene (20:43):
Yeah.
Spencer Russell (20:44):
That's why I'm depressed.
Diana Rene (20:45):
Yeah.
Spencer Russell (20:46):
And it's and and and and.
I think if we can't be honestwith ourselves about the impact
on us, I'm not just saying youknow you're a bad parent, cause
your kid's on a screen or getyour kid off screens more.
I'm just saying screens aretough in general.
Diana Rene (20:58):
Right.
Spencer Russell (20:59):
And as a as a as a 34 year old adult who is
really into likeself-improvement and
self-development and is alwayslike looking at how I can get
better, how can I say that if Ispend two hours a day on my
phone, I feel sad but I'm goingto let my kid do it.
Who's six?
Like like that doesn't makesense.
(21:20):
I've got to think through thefact that, like people have
spent millions and millions,billions of dollars to make this
device engaging, there's all ofthis research on the impact.
Yeah, it's, it's.
That's a lot of screen timethoughts, but yeah, well
intentionality is the mostimportant thing, and make sure
(21:40):
that your kid is on a pathtowards something good.
Diana Rene (21:44):
Yeah, for sure, I have said this before on my
podcast, but I like had arealization one day that 99% of
the time when I get frustratedor short with my kids, it's
because I'm trying to dosomething on my phone whether it
be for work or for school orsomething and they are trying to
(22:07):
get my attention.
And like that was a bigrealization for me, because,
because it was like I am justgetting frustrated or honestly,
even if I'm just scrolling onInstagram, you know, and they're
trying to get my attention andI get frustrated with them, and
it was like a really bigrealization for me how much that
was impacting how I interactedwith my own kids.
(22:30):
And so I started using an appit's called Opal app.
It's called Opal.
Every day, from the time I pickthem up from school until
bedtime, all social media, allwork is basically blocked from
my phone.
So even if, out of habit, Ipick it up, I can't access it,
(22:51):
and that's changed completelyhow I interact with my own kids
and it's you know, it's not likeI was intentionally getting
frustrated with them, it wasjust because my focus was
somewhere else and in my, notonly my focus was somewhere else
, but my focus was somewherethat is intentionally designed
(23:13):
to keep my focus.
Um, I was not interacting withmy own children the way that I
wanted to, and so I had toreevaluate and change that.
Spencer Russell (23:23):
Yeah, exactly what a powerful realization.
Diana Rene (23:26):
Yeah, for sure.
Well, okay, I could talk to youfor probably like eight hours,
but I want to respect your time.
Spencer, if someone's listeningto this, and whether they have
a toddler that they're just likeinterested in, or they're
intrigued and they've never eventhought of their toddler
reading, or they have an olderchild that's struggling, how can
(23:47):
they work with you or how canthey find you and start kind of
looking into this?
Spencer Russell (23:53):
My website is toddlers read not toddlers can
read, but toddlers readcom and Ihave a free 30 minute workshop
that people can watch.
It's like 28 minutes actually,so it's not over super, super
quick.
It'll give you advice, guidance, just just very kind of
step-by-step basic informationon how to get started.
I also have paid courses Folkscan watch on the highest end for
(24:17):
more step-by-step support andjust quick videos on my
Instagram page if people want tosee.
You know, just like get like areally quick feel or flavor.
But you know it goes anywherefrom Instagram on the lowest end
to free training in the middle,to paid courses, lots of stuff
to support.
People can shoot medium Happyto talk through.
But ultimately it's not as hardas you think, it doesn't take
(24:39):
as long as you think and itcould be a lot of fun.
Diana Rene (24:41):
Perfect.
Well, I'm going to put thelinks also in our show notes.
So if you're listening to thisand you are intrigued or you're
needing help with your kid, thendefinitely check Spencer out.
And Spencer, thank you so muchfor taking the time to chat with
me today.
This was super fun Of Spencer.
Thank you so much for takingthe time to chat with me today.
This was super fun.
Spencer Russell (25:00):
Of course.
Thank you so much.
Diana Rene (25:02):
Thanks for hanging out and listening to The
Decluttered Mom podcast.
If you enjoyed this episode, itwould mean the world If you
could write a review or sharethis episode with a friend or
your Instagram stories.
And if you're on Instagram, besure to follow me at the
declutteredmom and send me a DMto say hi.
I'd love to hear what youthought about today's episode.
(25:24):
I hope you'll come back nextweek and hang out with us again.
You're listening to The Decluttered Mom podcast, a
podcast built specifically forbusy moms by a busy mom.
I'm your host, Diana Rene, andin 2017, I had my second
daughter and it felt like I wasliterally drowning in my home
okay, not literally, but I feltlike I couldn't breathe with all
of the stuff surrounding me.
(00:28):
Over the next 10 months, I gotrid of approximately 70% of our
household belongings and I havenever looked back.
I kind of feel like I hackedthe mom system and I'm here to
share all the tips, tricks andencouragement.
Let's listen to today's show.
(00:49):
Welcome to another episode ofThe Decluttered Mom podcast.
Today, we are jumping into parttwo of my chat with Spencer
Russell, who is toddlerscanreadon Instagram.
If you have not listened to thefirst part of this episode,
please go back to last week andlisten to that episode, because
(01:09):
today is basically going to be acontinuation of our
conversation.
I like to keep these episodesnice and short, as you know, and
so it was just going to be toolong to have as one episode, so
today is part two.
Let's just jump right in.
Spencer Russell (01:28):
Do you get hate comments?
Diana Rene (01:30):
I do, which surprises people.
I know you do.
You know, people are like whatcould be like, what's
problematic about decluttering?
Well, people find problems.
Spencer Russell (01:44):
Can I guess?
Sure, I'm trying to think of aperson who's going to drop a
hate comment in a video to tryand help moms declutter their
homes, and my guess is it'sgoing to be someone with a
really messy house who doesn'twant to declutter.
This is just trying to get intheir head.
It's like they see you andthere's something triggering
(02:07):
about it.
Is one of the strands?
Like you can't tell me what todo, like just because this is
like your thing or whatever itdoesn't mean like we should have
to do it.
Diana Rene (02:20):
Sometimes, yes, but this surprises people when I
tell them that the largestdemographic of hate comments,
and specifically hate DMs, aremen that I would estimate to be
in their like 40s or 50s, whohave, for whatever reason, a
(02:42):
problem with my content.
Spencer Russell (02:44):
Who have, for whatever reason, a problem with
my content.
Diana Rene (02:50):
So yeah, yeah, and you give like any any example of
like a like, like a DM fromlike a 45 year old man.
Yeah, that, oh God.
Well, I can't most of them Ican't say on my podcast because
they're too intense.
But a lot of things about, likeyou know, I talk a lot in my
content about getting everyonein the family involved in the
(03:12):
process and that it shouldn'tall fall on mom's shoulders.
So a lot of it is about likeyou're a woman, you need to get
in your place, like you need,like that's your job, that kind
of thing.
That's a common DM that I getand most of those come in the
form of DMs versus comments,like I said.
But I would honestly sayprobably the biggest like, like
(03:37):
comment that I get is about likehow I'm depriving my kids
because we declutter their toys,which I think just goes back to
like a profoundmisunderstanding of what
decluttering is Like.
It doesn't mean getting rid ofall of your kids' toys.
It means getting rid of theexcess toys so that they have a
better chance of being able tohave that independent play
(04:00):
because they're not overwhelmedwalking into a room where it
looks like Toys R Us threw up,you know.
Yeah so it just goes again backto like they.
It's their, their ownmisunderstanding of what the
content is trying to express.
Spencer Russell (04:19):
I'm sorry that you get those comments.
Diana Rene (04:21):
Well, thank you, spencer, I know you do too, so I
I do, but like not that.
Spencer Russell (04:29):
What you're describing is a different kind
of of terrible is yours morelike?
Diana Rene (04:38):
is, from what I have seen, at least personally, and
you can correct me is yours moremore about?
Like the, the potentialdetrimental aspects of toddlers
reading, or like the more, Iguess, like the controversial
aspects of it that you justdebunked for us here but that
people may not have, may notunderstand?
Spencer Russell (05:01):
a lot of.
It is a lot of.
It's that stuff.
Okay, you know, like the, ifit's like some kind of like
racism or something that that's.
That's really only on likeYouTube, little like, a little
bit TikTok.
Diana Rene (05:16):
I'm sorry.
Spencer Russell (05:18):
Uh, if it's.
But honestly, like part of partof what I've appreciated about
my growth in the business isthat it hasn't been too too fast
and it hasn't been too too slow, like I have been able to grow
(05:51):
with the pushback whereinitially, you know, if someone
unfollowed me or someone sentyou know, one rude message or
there was a comment that didn'tquite seem right, it would, it
would, it would hit meemotionally and then you know,
grow, grow, grow.
And now there's a couple of day, grow, grow, grow.
Now there's more and I thinkI've been able to kind of mature
(06:11):
as the accounts have grown andas more people have come in.
So it's never been toooverwhelming.
There's certainly been days whenone comment or one message has
kind of sat with me for a day ortwo and kind of impacted my
mood in a way that I'm like notproud of, but it just it just
has.
Yeah, there, there's been timeswhen either I or someone on my
(06:37):
team has gone into like a backand forth with someone that I'm
back on.
I like hey, that was stupid.
Like should just let that onego, yeah.
I've been there but right now Isee my job at this stage as to
not try to appease anybody.
I'm not trying to make anybodyhappy.
I'm not trying to say what'spopular.
(07:00):
I'm trying to say what's right,because whether or not you know
some, some, some mom or groupof moms or dad, or you know
whoever agrees with me or not,like really doesn't matter to me
.
If what I'm saying I think it'sgenuinely useful and helpful
(07:23):
for majority of people, or if Ithink it could be helpful for
their kid, it's my job to say itand to say it in a way that is
hopefully what I want tocommunicate in my content is it
is, it is supportive and it'sloving, but you're going to be
(07:44):
pushed Like I am.
I'm going to push you.
Recently it's been a lot onscreen time and I don't, I don't
, I don't care.
Honestly, I don't care if Ilose customers, I don't care if
I lose money, I don't care if Ilose followers.
Screen time to me, helpingparents understand there is an
impact and you have to beintentional about it.
(08:05):
You've got to think throughwhat you put in front of your
kid, like that's the message forpeople to do better.
Yeah, I think, as parents, likethat's our job, that's my job,
that's my wife's job, like it is, it is our job to look
ourselves in the mirror and todo better.
And if I can play a small partin that, again with love and
(08:26):
with compassion and withunderstanding, then that's what
I'm going to try to do, and overtime I'll get better at
delivering these messages,because it's not always easy,
but that's the goal, and hate'sgoing to come with it.
But I think if you are on amission towards something that
matters, you kind of have totake it in stride, and I'm sure
that you probably feel the sameway.
Diana Rene (08:48):
Yeah, for sure.
I think you have to grow kindof a thick skin, having any type
of platform where you'resharing an opinion about
something that people may havedifferent opinions than you,
because it's the internet andpeople will tell you that they
have a different opinion.
Spencer Russell (09:07):
Yes, yes, they will, yeah, they will Every now
and then.
But my comment section issurprisingly positive.
Diana Rene (09:16):
That's awesome.
Spencer Russell (09:17):
And it's gotten more and more positive over
time, even on tough topics likescreen time.
So there's definitely pushback,but it's not like we're
drowning in it.
It's just everyone's going tohave an opinion.
Yeah, say the world is round,and like 4% of people will hate
(09:39):
you for saying that and willtell you all the reasons why
it's flat.
Diana Rene (09:42):
Yes, exactly.
Can we touch on screen timequickly?
When you talk about screen time, are you referring to the
actual amount of time that kidsare spending on screens or the
type of content that they aretaking part in, or both, both,
okay.
Spencer Russell (10:01):
For me the simplest way to share my opinion
on screen time and I hesitateto call it an opinion because I
think it's honestly just commonsense.
I think parents should have avision for their children.
Diana Rene (10:15):
Yeah.
Spencer Russell (10:20):
I think parents should have a very clear idea
of the kind of person they wanttheir kid to grow up into and
the kinds of things they wantthem to have the opportunities
to do and to experience in life.
And it might not be likecrystal, crystal clear, but if
you've never sat down andplanned a vision or a direction
or goals for your kid, Irecommend doing it.
I find people you know who wantnew jobs will sit down and
(10:43):
they'll picture and imaginethemselves in the job and
they'll do work and all thisstuff to get ready for it and
prep and prepare and take notes.
But then when we have a newchild, like that same process,
intentionality doesn't alwaystranslate over.
So if we start with like avision, then the question is is
your child on track for thatvision?
(11:07):
When you look at your kid andyou look at their behavior, you
look at how they socialize, youlook at how they interact with
you, your relationship with them.
Are they on track towards thosethings or are they off track?
And if they're off track,either they're struggling with
their social relationships orwith their communication or with
(11:29):
their focus and attention andyou notice they're off track.
You notice there's an issue.
I would wager you should lookat your screen time.
Yeah, a lot of other things too, but look at your screen time
and if your kid's spending a lotof time on screens and you
notice there's some sort ofdeficit or gap or issue in their
(11:50):
life, try cutting it back andseeing if there's an impact on
that area.
Nine times out of 10, you'llsee an improvement in their
focus, in their attention, intheir ability to just kind of be
with you in the moment, in yourrelationship with them, in
their relationship with others.
I totally get the value andutility in screens and giving
(12:14):
people a break, giving peopletime off.
I know there's a lot of parentswho are in very challenging
positions where they are kind ofbearing all of the weight and
all of the burden of all thethings with the kids.
And you know, that's just,that's just so much.
I, I, I, I, I, I get it.
You know I'm not in thatsituation myself, but I get just
(12:38):
how significant that is and howmuch of a burden and a mental
load and how tiring that is.
And at the same time, I'd beremiss if I didn't use my
platform to let people knowoftentimes, those behaviors,
those meltdowns, those issues,the lack of focus and attention
that you're seeing, that'sleading you to want that break
(13:02):
and to want that time away fromyour kids, that stuff that's
wearing you out where you justneed a second away from your
kids saying their name.
Some of that stuff isexacerbated by screens.
It is.
It is the thing that you'regiving to pacify the kid that is
causing some of the behaviorthat you're seeing that requires
you to need time away.
And so to me, it's, it's, it'sthis vicious, vicious cycle and
(13:24):
some kids are fine and it's likethe parents giving them however
much time a day, they'rewatching their bluey, they're
doing their thing, but when it'stime to turn it off, the kid
says okay, they turn it off.
They talk with their parent,they interact, they engage,
they're normal, they're fine,they're healthy, they're on this
path towards the vision.
Many, many kids are not andmany, many parents are using
(13:45):
screens as a band-aid to try tocover up a problem that the
screen is actually causing.
And there's there's plenty,plenty, plenty of research on
each of these things.
I find that people who feel themost triggered by this are
people who have kids on a lot ofscreens.
Diana Rene (14:03):
Yeah.
Spencer Russell (14:04):
And they'll say what's the research?
What's the research?
What's the research?
What's the research?
If any listener is likelistening, feeling triggered,
like Google, Google screen timeplus whatever other word you
want to add screen time andfocus screen time, and toddler
screen time and kids screen time, and you'll find plenty of
research.
Diana Rene (14:25):
Yeah, I, you might know the name of this book.
I just found it, I just orderedit last week, but I can't
remember the name of it off thetop of my head.
But it's all about like howbasically what you're talking
about like how screens impactour kids development and
behavior and socialsocialization and all of that.
(14:47):
Do you know what I'm talkingabout or no?
I'm sure there's probably a lotof them.
It was on a podcast that Iheard.
Spencer Russell (14:52):
Yeah, I forget his name.
Yeah, I don't.
Diana Rene (14:56):
Well, I um it's really interesting because I am
in the camp of my kids we don'treally limit screen time and we
never have, simply because it'snever been an issue as far as
behavior or attention or kind oflike you're talking about.
You know like they can be on theiPad and they can be drawing
(15:18):
while they're watching the iPadand then they get off the iPad
and they go play and like it'sit's.
They're able to do that.
I realize that that's nottotally typical and I also, at
the same time, even though it'snever been an issue, I'm
learning more and more aboutjust the impacts of them having
(15:38):
that screen time, even if it'snot showing me like it's not
showing up in their day-to-daylives to be an issue.
So we're starting to pull backa little bit, even in our house,
even though it's not posingdirect issues that we can see
day to day.
But I do think it's like afascinating topic that has so
(15:59):
many different levels to it.
What type of guidelines wouldyou give a parent when it comes
to screen time for a young child?
Spencer Russell (16:08):
Yeah, it really is interesting, and I think
that your example speaks to mystance where, like when my son
was younger, if we gave him anepisode of something, we did see
a difference immediately.
Okay, it was an immediate thing, and so it got taken away.
Diana Rene (16:26):
Yeah.
Spencer Russell (16:26):
It's like that's not gonna be something
that we do because there's animpact right.
So you have to look at is thishelping my kid or harming them?
And if it's harming them wepull it off.
Guidance there.
All of the guidance I've everseen from researchers has been
zero screen time of any kindbefore two.
Diana Rene (16:47):
Before two yeah, Before two.
Spencer Russell (16:49):
I try not to put hard and fast rules in place
.
But no screen time for babiesthat to me is a is a is a rule.
I feel comfortable saying hardand fast babies don't need and
it should not have screens atsuch a sensitive time in their
brain development.
Diana Rene (17:07):
That was something our pediatrician kind of drilled
into my head when I had myfirst.
So yeah.
Yeah.
Spencer Russell (17:14):
Past that I think generally it it, it
increases with age, right,you're, you're, you're not gonna
be able to keep a teenager offof screens and and nor should
you socially and all those sortsof things.
Like your, your, your kid isgoing to need to be able to make
friends and talk to them and doall that sort of stuff.
But everything in between, tome it's all about impact.
(17:38):
And how is your kid doing?
Diana Rene (17:41):
Yeah.
Spencer Russell (17:42):
Like, like, that's it.
So if I had another kid and Iwas, I was raising another kid I
would have very strict rules inplace, because that's that's,
that's my belief, that's whatI've seen with my first Right,
and the majority of parentswould say like.
That's my belief, that's whatI've seen with my first Right
and the majority of parentswould say like that's not
(18:02):
feasible, that's not doable,that's too strict, that's
whatever it's like, that's fine.
That's what I personally havestudents who are going to do it.
That's not what I'm advisingpeople to do.
That's just what I would do.
Diana Rene (18:11):
Right.
Spencer Russell (18:14):
Other people can choose their own path.
But like half, but like very,very practically if someone's
kid is on screens too much.
What I found is usually parentsknow, like usually parents
actually know this and they'revery honest about it.
They just don't know how to fixit Right.
I would.
I would take the kid offcompletely for at least a week,
minimum week like a detox.
(18:35):
Detox, exactly.
People get triggered by theword but zero, zero screens.
Your kid needs to reset that.
They, they, they need to reset.
And also, the parent needs tosee the difference.
As you take the screen away andyou go to zero, the first thing
you'll notice is just howdependent your kid was on the
(18:56):
screen and if you weren'talready super, super aware of
the problem, it'll become really, really clear.
Then you'll start to see thechange and the shift in your
kid's behavior and focus andsocializing and all this stuff
very, very quickly and I thinkthat's going to be heartening
for many people to see.
This was tough, but I'm seeingpositive changes and I think
after that point people candecide whether they want to
(19:17):
reintroduce and how much, andwhat parameters and rules and
boundaries they want to put inplace.
But I actually think it'seasier to go from a lot to zero
and then to a little than it isto go from a lot to a little.
Diana Rene (19:31):
Yeah, I agree, cause I think then the battle of
getting off the screen is battleof getting off the screen is
harder than just saying noscreens.
Spencer Russell (19:41):
Exactly.
Diana Rene (19:42):
Yeah.
Spencer Russell (19:43):
And and.
And I have one one final, veryfast note, which is like I know
this is like a very challengingsubject and topic for parents.
I'll just say, for me as anadult, screens really impact me.
Yeah, they really do, and Itrack my phone screen time every
(20:05):
day, to the minute I go on mysettings.
I check how many minutes it was, If it's too much, I look at
the apps that I spent the timeon and it is almost one-to-one.
Like there are only a couplethings in my life that correlate
with my mood, like reallysignificantly.
One is how well I've exercised.
(20:27):
Two is how well I've slept.
Three is how much time I spenton screens.
I believe it and it is, it is,it is just nuts.
I'm like why do I feeldepressed right now, Like
everything in my life is good,Like why am I depressed?
Oh, two and a half hours on myphone today.
Diana Rene (20:43):
Yeah.
Spencer Russell (20:44):
That's why I'm depressed.
Diana Rene (20:45):
Yeah.
Spencer Russell (20:46):
And it's and and and and.
I think if we can't be honestwith ourselves about the impact
on us, I'm not just saying youknow you're a bad parent, cause
your kid's on a screen or getyour kid off screens more.
I'm just saying screens aretough in general.
Diana Rene (20:58):
Right.
Spencer Russell (20:59):
And as a as a as a 34 year old adult who is
really into likeself-improvement and
self-development and is alwayslike looking at how I can get
better, how can I say that if Ispend two hours a day on my
phone, I feel sad but I'm goingto let my kid do it.
Who's six?
Like like that doesn't makesense.
(21:20):
I've got to think through thefact that, like people have
spent millions and millions,billions of dollars to make this
device engaging, there's all ofthis research on the impact.
Yeah, it's, it's.
That's a lot of screen timethoughts, but yeah, well
intentionality is the mostimportant thing, and make sure
(21:40):
that your kid is on a pathtowards something good.
Diana Rene (21:44):
Yeah, for sure, I have said this before on my
podcast, but I like had arealization one day that 99% of
the time when I get frustratedor short with my kids, it's
because I'm trying to dosomething on my phone whether it
be for work or for school orsomething and they are trying to
(22:07):
get my attention.
And like that was a bigrealization for me, because,
because it was like I am justgetting frustrated or honestly,
even if I'm just scrolling onInstagram, you know, and they're
trying to get my attention andI get frustrated with them, and
it was like a really bigrealization for me how much that
was impacting how I interactedwith my own kids.
(22:30):
And so I started using an appit's called Opal app.
It's called Opal.
Every day, from the time I pickthem up from school until
bedtime, all social media, allwork is basically blocked from
my phone.
So even if, out of habit, Ipick it up, I can't access it,
(22:51):
and that's changed completelyhow I interact with my own kids
and it's you know, it's not likeI was intentionally getting
frustrated with them, it wasjust because my focus was
somewhere else and in my, notonly my focus was somewhere else
, but my focus was somewherethat is intentionally designed
(23:13):
to keep my focus.
Um, I was not interacting withmy own children the way that I
wanted to, and so I had toreevaluate and change that.
Spencer Russell (23:23):
Yeah, exactly what a powerful realization.
Diana Rene (23:26):
Yeah, for sure.
Well, okay, I could talk to youfor probably like eight hours,
but I want to respect your time.
Spencer, if someone's listeningto this, and whether they have
a toddler that they're just likeinterested in, or they're
intrigued and they've never eventhought of their toddler
reading, or they have an olderchild that's struggling, how can
(23:47):
they work with you or how canthey find you and start kind of
looking into this?
Spencer Russell (23:53):
My website is toddlers read not toddlers can
read, but toddlers readcom and Ihave a free 30 minute workshop
that people can watch.
It's like 28 minutes actually,so it's not over super, super
quick.
It'll give you advice, guidance, just just very kind of
step-by-step basic informationon how to get started.
I also have paid courses Folkscan watch on the highest end for
(24:17):
more step-by-step support andjust quick videos on my
Instagram page if people want tosee.
You know, just like get like areally quick feel or flavor.
But you know it goes anywherefrom Instagram on the lowest end
to free training in the middle,to paid courses, lots of stuff
to support.
People can shoot medium Happyto talk through.
But ultimately it's not as hardas you think, it doesn't take
(24:39):
as long as you think and itcould be a lot of fun.
Diana Rene (24:41):
Perfect.
Well, I'm going to put thelinks also in our show notes.
So if you're listening to thisand you are intrigued or you're
needing help with your kid, thendefinitely check Spencer out.
And Spencer, thank you so muchfor taking the time to chat with
me today.
This was super fun Of Spencer.
Thank you so much for takingthe time to chat with me today.
This was super fun.
Spencer Russell (25:00):
Of course.
Thank you so much.
Diana Rene (25:02):
Thanks for hanging out and listening to The
Decluttered Mom podcast.
If you enjoyed this episode, itwould mean the world If you
could write a review or sharethis episode with a friend or
your Instagram stories.
And if you're on Instagram, besure to follow me at the
declutteredmom and send me a DMto say hi.
I'd love to hear what youthought about today's episode.
(25:24):
I hope you'll come back nextweek and hang out with us again.
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