Fighting Better: How Couples Can Turn Conflict into Connection

--Media Links--

• Website: delvepsych.com

• Instagram: @delvepsychchicago

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DelvePsych20

• Substack: https://delvepsych.substack.com/

--Participants--

Hosts: Ali McGarel, Adam Fominaya

Guests: none

--Overview of Big Ideas--

Ali and Adam explore how couples can handle conflict more effectively. They focus on personal responsibility, clear asks instead of demands, repair after arguments, and small gestures that keep connection alive.

--Breakdown of Segments--

• Why couples therapy can be intimidating but rewarding

• How couples work is more complex than individual therapy

• What changes when conflict unfolds in the room

• Personal responsibility and choosing accept, ask, or leave

• Asks versus demands, and deciding what you will do if the answer is no

• The Gottman Four Horsemen and healthier alternatives

• Adam’s four actions: ask questions, share emotions, make asks, offer gifts

• Different ways couples can repair after conflict, including humor

• Why listening and validation can matter more than apologies

• Insight as an agent of change and living with intention

--References--

• John M. Gottman & Julie Schwartz Gottman (2023). Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection. Harmony Books.

• John M. Gottman & Nan Silver (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony Books.

• Susan M. Johnson (2004). The Practice of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy: Creating Connection. Routledge.