Goals, Needs & Values: How to Live a Contented Life

--Media Links--
• Website: delvepsych.com
• Instagram: @delvepsychchicago
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DelvePsych20
• Substack: https://delvepsych.substack.com/

--Participants--
Hosts: Ali McGarel, Adam Fominaya
Guests: none

--Overview of Big Ideas--
• The Delve framework defines three pillars: Goals (specific, measurable, and discrete “one-and-done” projects), Needs (what you require from the world to stay well—universal, personal, and transient), and Values (broad, evolving directions for how you live).

• Pursue purpose, not perfection: contentment comes from daily pursuit of goals/needs/values, not from chasing end states.
• Emotions are signals, not dictators: unpleasant feelings often flag drift from your stated purpose—use them to realign rather than to avoid action.
• Don’t let wants, proclivities, or momentary emotional reactions steer your life; take responsibility for choices that align with purpose.
• Examples in practice: facing fears while acting on values (e.g., social anxiety work in group, spider phobia via exposure); relationships heal in vivo, not before you begin them.

--Breakdown of Segments--
• Why this episode: celebrating #20 and why purpose beats outcomes.
• The Delve definitions: what “goals,” “needs,” and “values” mean in this model.
• Goals: make them objective and discrete (book, degree, wedding), not vague states (“be better in relationships”).
• Needs in three layers: universal (autonomy, connection), personal (your unique emphasis—e.g., financial security), transient (“Sims-style” sleep/food/space needs that burst out if ignored).
• Values: broad directions (health, creativity, honesty) that flex across seasons of life; keep names out of values so they survive life’s changes.
• Avoiding traps: wants vs needs; proclivities vs choices; reacting to feelings vs acting from values.
• Pursuit over outcome: the journey is your life—graduations are brief; purpose is daily.
• Using feelings as feedback: two questions—“What have I not been paying attention to?” and “What do I intend to do now?”
• Updating your list: it’s living—test, learn, and revise as life changes.
• A nudge on responsibility: kindness isn’t incompatibile with being a bit selfish—put your mask on first.

--References--
• Greenberg, L. (2011). Emotion-Focused Therapy (APA)—core EFT text on working with emotions as information and change agents. American Psychological Association
• Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2016). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, 2e: The Process and Practice of Mindful Change (Guilford)—values-based action and psychological flexibility. Guilford Press
• Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). “The What and Why of Goal Pursuits: Human Needs and the Self-Determination of Behavior.” Psychological Inquiry—autonomy, competence, relatedness as basic psychological needs. Self Determination Theory
• Locke, E. A., & Latham, G. P. (2002). “Building a Practically Useful Theory of Goal Setting and Task Motivation.” American Psychologist—evidence behind specific, challenging goals and measurable endpoints. PubMed
• Doran, G. T. (1981). “There’s a S.M.A.R.T. Way to Write Management’s Goals and Objectives.” Management Review—origin of SMART; useful contrast with the Delve “discrete project” emphasis. community.mis.temple.edu
• Craske, M. G., Treanor, M., Conway, C. C., Zbozinek, T., & Vervliet, B. (2014). “Maximizing Exposure Therapy: An Inhibitory Learning Approach.” Behaviour Research and Therapy—why exposure while anxious is effective. .css-j9qmi7{display:-webkit-box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webkit-flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;font-weight:700;margin-bottom:1rem;margin-top:2.8rem;width:100%;-webkit-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webkit-justify-content:start;justify-content:start;padding-left:5rem;}@media only screen and (max-width: 599px){.css-j9qmi7{padding-left:0;-webkit-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webkit-justify-content:center;justify-content:center;}}.css-j9qmi7 svg{fill:#27292D;}.css-j9qmi7 .eagfbvw0{-webkit-align-items:center;-webkit-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;color:#27292D;}