How to Date with Depth: Building a Better Profile & Avoiding the Swiping Spiral

Media Links
Website: delvepsych.comInstagram: @delvepsychchiYouTube: youtube.com/@DelvePsych20Substack: delvepsych.substack.com

Participants
Hosts: Ali McGarel, Adam Fominaya

Overview
Why is dating so hard?
Ali and Adam draw from their clinical work and co-led dating therapy group to explore why modern dating feels so fraught—and how to make it more meaningful.

The dating profile isn’t a resume.
Trying to represent your whole self in three photos and a prompt is impossible. The goal is to start real conversations, not craft a perfect brand.

Depth starts before the first date.
They walk through photo choices, prompt strategies, and first messages—focusing on how to lead with authenticity, care, and clarity about your values.

Bad matches are good signs.
Intentional dating means fewer matches, more rejections, and better outcomes. Reframing rejection as necessary—and even helpful—opens space for real connection.

Lead with love—even in the apps.
From transparent bios to thoughtful swipes, Adam and Ali argue that empathy, self-awareness, and even a little stoicism can reshape how we seek connection.

Breakdown of Segments

• Reflections from Delve’s dating therapy group

• How to choose photos that show more than just attractiveness

• Why group shots, kids, and exes in photos can undermine your message

• What to say in prompts: a 3-part guide (offer, need, personality)

• How to stay intentional while swiping

• When to swipe vs. wait for matches

• The mindset needed for good conversations

• Why rejection is part of the process

• Handling harassment and burnout on dating apps

• Texting before the first date: how much is enough?

• The case for emotional risk and why it’s worth it

References & Further Reading

• Delve Substack: "React, Respond, Expand" – conversation skills in action

• Stoic concept of amor fati (“love your fate”)

• Research on facial recognition and the fusiform gyrus (neuroscience of dating photos)