September 17, 2025 • 25 mins
Have you ever been accused of exactly what someone else was doing to you? That surreal moment when your harasser points the finger at you, leaving you stunned and questioning your own reality?
The psychological warfare of modern harassment operates in shadows, with perpetrators employing sophisticated manipulation tactics designed to isolate, confuse, and silence victims. In this candid and revealing episode, I share a recent encounter that perfectly demonstrates DARVO—Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender—a classic manipulation technique where abusers transform themselves into victims while casting the actual victim as the aggressor.
When I noticed an SUV parked outside my home with its engine running for over 30 minutes, I recognized the familiar signs of surveillance and data extraction. What followed was a textbook example of gaslighting: after civilly checking what was happening, I was confronted by a white-presenting male who suggested I should "not be okay inside my house" rather than standing outside my own home. The racial dynamics, power imbalance, and sheer audacity of this interaction exemplify the multi-layered nature of harassment many marginalized people face daily.
Through this episode, I unpack the various forms of harassment—from cyberstalking to subliminal psychological tactics—and explain how seemingly small incidents accumulate into significant trauma. As I describe it, it's like being bitten by "a thousand mosquitoes every day"—each bite might seem minor in isolation, but the collective impact is devastating. For anyone experiencing similar situations, this episode offers validation, terminology to help identify what's happening, and a reminder that documentation is your most powerful tool against those who would gaslight you into silence.
Join me in breaking the silence around these experiences. Your story matters, your perception is valid, and you don't have to face this alone. Together, we can expose these tactics and reclaim our power from those who would manipulate and control through fear.
Ever felt like your darkest fears of being watched were actually true? Well, this powerful documentation pulls back the curtain on life as a targeted individual—where privacy becomes fiction and safety an illusion. This series stands as both documentation and resistance—a refusal to be silenced despite overwhelming odds.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Marie Destinee a La Grandeu (00:00):
Hey , welcome back to the Diary of a
Sane Black Woman.
I'm Marie, and I hope you allhad a fabulous weekend.
I wanted to first open thisepisode in prayer, just want to
make sure that I have God'scovering.
So let's pray this episode.
(00:27):
I dedicate this platform.
I dedicate this work to you,father.
May you have your way in me.
May you protect my work, myvoice, my diary, lord God, the
experiences that I'm sharinghere.
May you protect my family andevery listener, father, may you
open doors that no man can shut.
And may you send helpers,father, destiny helpers, legal,
spiritual and technical helpers,father, and let this series
(00:50):
bring truth, healing and change.
Father, though I am not perfect, I know I'm forgiven through
the blood of Jesus.
Father, you are my vindicator.
I know that the battle is notmine, but it's yours.
So I release everything to you,lord God, to your hands, your
capable hands, and I pray thatthis may be the beginning of
(01:14):
something great.
That, lord God, that what theenemy meant for bad, you will
turn into good, in Jesus'smighty name.
So I wanted to pick up fromwhere I left off in episode six,
where I discussed the differenttypes of harassment that exist.
If you haven't listened to thatepisode.
(01:34):
I encourage you to go back andlisten to it in its entirety,
because I do take a deep divelooking at the different types
of harassment that can exist,whether you're dealing with
cyber stalking or in-personstalking.
I also had some heartfeltmoments in that episode, so it's
(01:58):
definitely worth listening to.
With that being said, I'm goingto do a quick recap on a few
terms prior to jumping into theexperience that I had last week
with gaslighting, victim blamingand DARVO.
And now, that's just one example, but the abuse is nonstop.
(02:18):
So let's start off withstalking.
The generic term for stalkingis basically it's persistent,
unwanted attention that causesfear, and it often includes
following, monitoring orobserving, or obsessive contact.
Cyberstalking is the digitalsurveillance, the obsessive
(02:44):
monitoring and online harassment.
Often it is harder to escapeand more invasive.
Also, it's sometimes harder toprove.
Now, cyber stalking as aweaponized form of surveillance
can include monitoring andextraction, which includes the
(03:04):
gathering of your data to eithercontrol, intimidate, manipulate
or, you know, run a smearcampaign, shame you, block
opportunities, things of thatnature.
And then one of the things thatone of the and one of the
(03:26):
segments that I went into inepisode six was that I discussed
how these tactics can worktogether Right, and so within
the digital stalking and regularstalking, you also have
(03:46):
different forms of harassmentand abuse, and within that
category you have somethingthat's called gaslighting, and
I'm sure by now everyone hasheard the term.
But in that episode I also gointo the historical definition
and how that came about, soforth and so on.
So again, I definitelyencourage you to go back and
(04:06):
listen to that episode.
But essentially, whatgaslighting is?
It is used to deny abuse andmake the victims question their
sanity.
So, again, the gaslighting isused to deny abuse and make
victims question their sanity.
And then it's common inemotional, psychological or
(04:29):
cyber abuse.
And then victim blaming isbasically shifting
responsibility onto the victimand it reinforces silence and
shame.
And so DARVO is, I would say isa perfect example of victim
blaming.
And DARVO is an acronym, wouldsay is a perfect example of
victim blaming.
And DARVO is an acronym.
And essentially what thatstands for is where the
(04:52):
perpetrator uses a manipulativetactic to first deny the abuse.
So again, that's a form ofgaslighting.
Then they attack the victim'scredibility, which is victim
blaming.
Then they attack the victim'scredibility, which is victim
blaming, and then, last but notleast, the perpetrator reverses
the roles to appear as thevictim.
So basically there's a switchin roles victim versus offender,
(05:17):
and so that's DARPA Starvo.
Now, now that I've provided arecap, I think you have enough
information that I can actuallyjump into the experience that I
had last week Wednesday and, youknow, kind of walk you through
(05:38):
my experience.
So I don't know where to startbecause so much has been going
on and everything is reallyjumbled in my mind right now and
also because sometimes you tryto block things out, right, but
in any event, last week,wednesday, which was September
(06:01):
10th, I believe it was earlyafternoon, I don't remember the
exact time, but there was a carI would say it's more like a SUV
parked in front of my house andthe trunk of the SUV was opened
and it was running.
(06:23):
It was running for quite sometime, which is unusual, right,
typically, when um, that happensto me, that is, uh, a red flag,
um, something is going on,something is off, especially in
my situation, when I know, um,you know the perpetrators are
(06:44):
surveilling or trying to extractinformation.
One of the tactics they use isbasically turning their car on
because somehow, some way, thatactually um provides them the
power they need and it enablesthem to tap into my network.
So, um, there was a woman, um,I not sure what her ethnicity is
(07:07):
or what she identifies, as Iwould say that she looks mixed.
She could be black, if sheidentifies as black, or a woman
of color I'm not sure what sheidentifies as, I'm not sure what
(07:29):
she identifies as, but in anyevent, she was in front of, uh,
not directly in front of myapartment, maybe, um two, um
parking spots removed, but closeenough, right, she was about.
She was right by one of mywindows.
So still in front of myapartment, not my door.
So still in front of myapartment, not my door.
Um, that being said, I I, youknow went outside.
Um, I didn't go outside all theway, I just kind of opened the
(07:55):
door to see who was, you know,running their car and, um, I
noticed there was um, a womanthat I spoke to last week that
was doing the same thing, thattypically never parks there, um,
and I said, oh, I was like, oh,I thought you were moving, and
she said, oh, yeah, we weremoving.
Um, this is the last of thethings that we had.
(08:15):
So, mind you, last week, shesaid she was moving and, um, she
said that the reason why, um,she was parked there was because
, um, because her husband waswalking the dog, so forth and so
on.
But then she lives all the wayon the other side of the complex
Right.
So, ok, make it make sense.
(08:39):
Has been, you know, often, youknow, goes back and forth
walking and, um, he goes um.
Behind my unit where there is,um, you know, there's a gym like
a mini gym, and then there'salso some type of recreation
room so you can use it aswhatever.
(09:00):
So sometimes people that aretrying to monitor, sometimes
they go to the gym to do that,um, because then that gives them
some sort of proximity, butalso, um, I guess, um, they feel
like they can hide in there, um, so, yeah, so, um, yeah, I've
noticed him, you know, walkingback and forth a few times, um,
(09:23):
but in any event, uh, I said toher, oh, to her, okay, so then I
just went back in, I went backin the house and then I was just
like whatever, and but then Inoticed that her car was running
for a really long time.
Typically, um, you know, peoplethat are running their car,
(09:44):
especially if I come out,typically they'll drive away, or
they'll run it for a fewminutes and then drive away, but
it was running, for noexaggeration, maybe for like 30
minutes and she wasn't doinganything.
I didn't see them movinganything.
She said they were moving.
Mind you, they live on theother side.
(10:07):
So common sense would tell methat you would want to park as
close as possible to your unitif you're moving, not as far as
possible.
So, unsure why?
Well, I mean, I know why sheparked where she parked, but you
know, playing, quote unquote,devil's advocate, I don't want
(10:28):
to say devil's advocate as aChristian, but you know, um,
just giving her the benefit ofthe doubt, right?
Um, she was just like basicallystanding there and, um, she had
her trunk open.
And so there, um, the trunk wasopen.
But again there comes thesubliminal harassment, right, so
there are things that arestrategically placed in her
(10:51):
truck, um, to basicallysubliminally harass me paper
towels, things of that nature.
Um, whatever else was there.
I didn't really.
You know, sometimes I try toshield myself from that stuff
and I just kind of took a quicklook and then I was just like,
okay, whatever.
So then, when I realized thatthe car was running for quite
(11:14):
some time, mind you.
Okay, let me just kind ofreverse, because I was very
cordial, okay, I just wannamention that when I peeked my
head out my door, I was like oh,hi, and I was just like, oh, I
thought you were moving.
She was like, okay, no, um, weare, but you know, this is the
last of the things, okay, and Iwas like oh, okay, and I was
(11:36):
like, well, you know, um, I wishyou good luck and everything
and whatever.
And she was like, oh, thank you, and that was that.
So now, fast forward.
Like 20 minutes later, 25minutes later, I go back out and
I still see the car running.
So I know that they'redownloading information.
(11:57):
It's like so obvious, right,they're extracting data,
whatever it is that they'redoing.
So then I go around, I come outmy house, I go around to kind
of see what's going on, um, fromthe front side, because the car
was back into the parking lot,not, she wasn't facing um, you
know my unit.
(12:17):
So, um, I see she has vitamins.
Okay, pun intended, that'sanother subliminal tactic.
Um, I take my multi-vitamins, Ihave a lot of vitamins in my
cabinet.
So, again, that's just kind oflike psychological um,
manipulation, psychological, uh,harassment, to let me know that
(12:40):
.
Okay, I know what you have inyour cabinet or whatever you
know, whatever it may be, um.
So then, um, I go around and Ilook and I see her.
And then, you know, I make myway back into my house.
And as I'm making my way backinto my house, I mean I don't
(13:01):
say anything to her at thatpoint, right, I just go around
to kind of see what's going onand I see her messing around
with like some vitamins orwhatever.
I don't know if they werevitamins or like actual
medication, what have you.
So I make my way back into myunit and as I'm making my way
(13:22):
back into my unit, I see thisman.
He appears to be white, so I'mgoing to say that he's white,
and then he, as he's walkingcloser, he basically asked me oh
, is everything okay?
As I'm walking back into myunit, and you know, and I was
(13:42):
like I said actually no.
And he, at that point he waslike well, why don't you not be
okay inside your house?
And I was like well, you know,I have a right to stand in front
of my house.
Like how dare you Imagine thatright?
(14:03):
Like especially of my house?
Like how dare you imagine that?
Right, like um especially, Imean, look um, race I?
I, regardless of what peoplesay, oh, don't play, play the
race card and things like that.
But race is a factor here.
Okay, a race is a factor.
Ok, a race is a factor.
(14:34):
Imagine that this white male, orwhite appearing male, is
telling me to go back into myhouse and I'm standing in front
of my house and you're parked infront of my house and you're
extracting data why don't youstop?
Um, harassing my wife?
And I said excuse me.
I said um, I said actuallyyou're the one that's
subliminally harassing me.
And, um, and then he basicallystarted staring me down.
(14:58):
Um, I was at my door and he waslike by the car where him and
his wife were parked, and he wasbasically staring me down and I
said am I supposed to be scared?
Like, why are you staring at melike that?
Is that like, what is thatsupposed to do?
Um?
So then, um, I did not budge,and then, you know, he, uh,
(15:22):
ultimately went back, I guess,to his unit or whatever he was
doing, and his wife was stillrunning the car.
Now, um, that's my example ofDarvo and um, victim blaming,
shifting the blame.
They know why they were there.
They know that they were thereto one, extract information.
(15:45):
Two, subliminally harass me,and that is not the first time
that they've done that right,last week, right, or the week
before last, because, remember,I asked her.
I said, oh, I thought you weremoving.
She parked there and then, okay, like you're in your community
(16:06):
complex, your house is rightthere.
I think if you want tobreastfeed, you would probably
go inside your house andbreastfeed.
Um, but she was actually.
It was also another form ofsubliminal harassment and I
would call it also sexualharassment, because that is pun
intended for, basically,pornography and pornography
(16:30):
descriptions or videos.
So that was an additional formof harassment.
At that point last week, I didnot say anything to her, and I
didn't even say anything to herthe week, uh, last, two weeks
ago.
Rather, I didn't say anythingto her, I just ignored her.
(16:51):
And I didn't say anything toher on September 10th, but her
husband basically, um, because Idecided to walk out to see what
was going on, he said that Iwas harassing his wife, and so
that's, ladies and gentlemen,that is gaslighting 101 and
(17:11):
Darvo, perfect example of that,and so that's kind of like the
things that happens, thesubliminal harassment.
People will leave things um youknow, around, um just to kind of
uh, you know, trigger me or youknow, for their fun.
Maybe it's a, it's part of achallenge that they're doing on
social media.
(17:32):
I mean, I don't even reallyfollow um the things that
they're doing.
I'm not on social media Um, solike, maybe once in a blue I'll
probably see a few things and umyou know, it'll just come
across my feed or um I'll seesomething is trending and then
I'll kind of know that, okay,this is, you know, it pertains
(17:54):
to me, um, but you know, that'sessentially the story.
That's what happened.
That was my example of of umdarvo victim blaming and
gaslighting.
Essentially, these two people,these two individuals, a couple
um the husband and wife, wantedto um not only extract my data,
(18:18):
stalk me in person, um and umand um cyber, uh hack me,
whether they're not, you know,doing it directly.
They're just um utilizing um avulnerability or exploiting a
vulnerability.
They're still um accessing myinformation because it's just
(18:38):
like um opening someone's mail,right, um, just because the mail
is there, it doesn't mean thatyou take it.
It's just like openingsomeone's mail, right, just
because the mail is theredoesn't mean that you take it.
It's not yours.
So they were basicallyexploiting a vulnerability and
on top of that they weresubliminally harassing me.
And also I noticed that once Igot my cameras people started
(19:00):
acting up even more.
So you have a lot of jokers.
I'll call them they.
You know they walk around umone one neighbor, um, uh, he
basically went, he bought aballoon.
Um then, uh, he came out withhis little toddler, had a racket
(19:23):
I guess that's for pickleballpun intended.
So these things are not isolatedthings.
Someone that's listening tothis might say, oh my God, like
why are you making a big dealabout this?
This is nothing.
But you have to look at thingslike in its entirety.
(19:43):
And it's not just the isolatedinstances or the isolated
incidents, it's just like thebigger picture and what I go
through every single day.
And I remember in my old um, atmy old job, there was like some
type of I don't know gettogether that basically was
(20:08):
exploring race and things ofthat nature, racial divides, and
so someone came in and she wastalking about microaggressions
but also like different thingsthat can happen.
And people might say, well, whyare you making a big deal about
it.
And she said well, the perfectexample that I could give is
(20:31):
imagine that you have like athousand insects biting you
every single day, even thoughthe insect one is like a tiny
insect, right, or let's say it'sa mosquito or whatever, even if
it's just one mosquito, but ifyou have a thousand mosquitoes
biting you every single day,that the the impact is going to
(20:55):
be a lot.
So, um, that's kind of like,yeah, I have some ankle biters,
I have a lot of people coming atme, but I have a lot of people
coming at me, but I have a lotof people coming at me different
, in different ways, um, indifferent directions.
And, um, yeah, one subliminalmessage or, um, you know form of
(21:15):
harassment, multiplied byhowever many you know, because
it's not only happening in thecommunity complex, but it's
happening online, it's happeningwhen I go out, it's happening
everywhere I go.
So, um, that's kind of likewhere, where we're at, look,
this is me documenting, um, myexperience, um, and I just
(21:41):
wanted to share this with youbecause that's what happened
last week.
I was going to record it.
Last week when it happened, Iwanted to kind of cool down a
little bit, and then a few otherthings happened and so I kind
of held off, but I did want toshare this one example I don't
want to highlight, like thesepeople, because I feel like um,
(22:06):
as I'm speaking about this, theyfeel emboldened and they, they,
you know, they, they, they domore, but, um, I, I think it's
important for me to call themout and, um, calling them out is
the first step.
There will be other things thatI'll be doing, um, as time goes
on.
So, um, just kind of like, Iguess, if you want to say that
(22:31):
is just kind of like a heads up,like, you know, um, you want to
play stupid games, you'll getstupid prizes.
Um, so that is my um, darvoslash guy.
Uh, gaslighting experience.
Um, let me know what you think.
(22:51):
Um, I'm happy to uh, you know,if anyone has any feedback,
anyone has any resources thatthey can recommend, um, or if
anyone is going through the samesituation or similar um, I
would be happy to connect Um.
(23:13):
I will see you in the nextepisode.
Thank you for listening to TheDire-Rie of a Sane Black Woman,
and that's dire D I-R-E-R-I-Ediary it's a play on the word
diary.
All right, I'll see you allsoon.
(23:34):
I just wanted to say that beforeI end this episode, before
someone tries to put words in mymouth or tries to twist my
experience, I definitely don'thave anything with moms or
mothers breastfeeding in public.
But in my situation, especiallybecause, um, you know,
(23:55):
obviously my information hasbeen hacked and my information
is out there Um, that is one ofthe things that has been
basically infiltrating myalgorithm, basically
breastfeeding watermelons, um,subliminally harassing me, um,
and so that's that.
(24:30):
I'll get into, uh, thebreastfeeding and the other
stuff in another episode.
I'll leave it for anotherepisode, but, trust me, this is
it has nothing to do with amother, um, you know, it has
nothing to do with a mother, um,you know, breastfeeding.
Look, um, I'm fine with that.
It's just the fact that she wasdoing it subliminally to harass
(24:53):
me, all right, um.
Well, thanks again forlistening.
I will be back soon, all right,bye.
Hey , welcome back to the Diary of a
Sane Black Woman.
I'm Marie, and I hope you allhad a fabulous weekend.
I wanted to first open thisepisode in prayer, just want to
make sure that I have God'scovering.
So let's pray this episode.
(00:27):
I dedicate this platform.
I dedicate this work to you,father.
May you have your way in me.
May you protect my work, myvoice, my diary, lord God, the
experiences that I'm sharinghere.
May you protect my family andevery listener, father, may you
open doors that no man can shut.
And may you send helpers,father, destiny helpers, legal,
spiritual and technical helpers,father, and let this series
(00:50):
bring truth, healing and change.
Father, though I am not perfect, I know I'm forgiven through
the blood of Jesus.
Father, you are my vindicator.
I know that the battle is notmine, but it's yours.
So I release everything to you,lord God, to your hands, your
capable hands, and I pray thatthis may be the beginning of
(01:14):
something great.
That, lord God, that what theenemy meant for bad, you will
turn into good, in Jesus'smighty name.
So I wanted to pick up fromwhere I left off in episode six,
where I discussed the differenttypes of harassment that exist.
If you haven't listened to thatepisode.
(01:34):
I encourage you to go back andlisten to it in its entirety,
because I do take a deep divelooking at the different types
of harassment that can exist,whether you're dealing with
cyber stalking or in-personstalking.
I also had some heartfeltmoments in that episode, so it's
(01:58):
definitely worth listening to.
With that being said, I'm goingto do a quick recap on a few
terms prior to jumping into theexperience that I had last week
with gaslighting, victim blamingand DARVO.
And now, that's just one example, but the abuse is nonstop.
(02:18):
So let's start off withstalking.
The generic term for stalkingis basically it's persistent,
unwanted attention that causesfear, and it often includes
following, monitoring orobserving, or obsessive contact.
Cyberstalking is the digitalsurveillance, the obsessive
(02:44):
monitoring and online harassment.
Often it is harder to escapeand more invasive.
Also, it's sometimes harder toprove.
Now, cyber stalking as aweaponized form of surveillance
can include monitoring andextraction, which includes the
(03:04):
gathering of your data to eithercontrol, intimidate, manipulate
or, you know, run a smearcampaign, shame you, block
opportunities, things of thatnature.
And then one of the things thatone of the and one of the
(03:26):
segments that I went into inepisode six was that I discussed
how these tactics can worktogether Right, and so within
the digital stalking and regularstalking, you also have
(03:46):
different forms of harassmentand abuse, and within that
category you have somethingthat's called gaslighting, and
I'm sure by now everyone hasheard the term.
But in that episode I also gointo the historical definition
and how that came about, soforth and so on.
So again, I definitelyencourage you to go back and
(04:06):
listen to that episode.
But essentially, whatgaslighting is?
It is used to deny abuse andmake the victims question their
sanity.
So, again, the gaslighting isused to deny abuse and make
victims question their sanity.
And then it's common inemotional, psychological or
(04:29):
cyber abuse.
And then victim blaming isbasically shifting
responsibility onto the victimand it reinforces silence and
shame.
And so DARVO is, I would say isa perfect example of victim
blaming.
And DARVO is an acronym, wouldsay is a perfect example of
victim blaming.
And DARVO is an acronym.
And essentially what thatstands for is where the
(04:52):
perpetrator uses a manipulativetactic to first deny the abuse.
So again, that's a form ofgaslighting.
Then they attack the victim'scredibility, which is victim
blaming.
Then they attack the victim'scredibility, which is victim
blaming, and then, last but notleast, the perpetrator reverses
the roles to appear as thevictim.
So basically there's a switchin roles victim versus offender,
(05:17):
and so that's DARPA Starvo.
Now, now that I've provided arecap, I think you have enough
information that I can actuallyjump into the experience that I
had last week Wednesday and, youknow, kind of walk you through
(05:38):
my experience.
So I don't know where to startbecause so much has been going
on and everything is reallyjumbled in my mind right now and
also because sometimes you tryto block things out, right, but
in any event, last week,wednesday, which was September
(06:01):
10th, I believe it was earlyafternoon, I don't remember the
exact time, but there was a carI would say it's more like a SUV
parked in front of my house andthe trunk of the SUV was opened
and it was running.
(06:23):
It was running for quite sometime, which is unusual, right,
typically, when um, that happensto me, that is, uh, a red flag,
um, something is going on,something is off, especially in
my situation, when I know, um,you know the perpetrators are
(06:44):
surveilling or trying to extractinformation.
One of the tactics they use isbasically turning their car on
because somehow, some way, thatactually um provides them the
power they need and it enablesthem to tap into my network.
So, um, there was a woman, um,I not sure what her ethnicity is
(07:07):
or what she identifies, as Iwould say that she looks mixed.
She could be black, if sheidentifies as black, or a woman
of color I'm not sure what sheidentifies as, I'm not sure what
(07:29):
she identifies as, but in anyevent, she was in front of, uh,
not directly in front of myapartment, maybe, um two, um
parking spots removed, but closeenough, right, she was about.
She was right by one of mywindows.
So still in front of myapartment, not my door.
So still in front of myapartment, not my door.
Um, that being said, I I, youknow went outside.
Um, I didn't go outside all theway, I just kind of opened the
(07:55):
door to see who was, you know,running their car and, um, I
noticed there was um, a womanthat I spoke to last week that
was doing the same thing, thattypically never parks there, um,
and I said, oh, I was like, oh,I thought you were moving, and
she said, oh, yeah, we weremoving.
Um, this is the last of thethings that we had.
(08:15):
So, mind you, last week, shesaid she was moving and, um, she
said that the reason why, um,she was parked there was because
, um, because her husband waswalking the dog, so forth and so
on.
But then she lives all the wayon the other side of the complex
Right.
So, ok, make it make sense.
(08:39):
Has been, you know, often, youknow, goes back and forth
walking and, um, he goes um.
Behind my unit where there is,um, you know, there's a gym like
a mini gym, and then there'salso some type of recreation
room so you can use it aswhatever.
(09:00):
So sometimes people that aretrying to monitor, sometimes
they go to the gym to do that,um, because then that gives them
some sort of proximity, butalso, um, I guess, um, they feel
like they can hide in there, um, so, yeah, so, um, yeah, I've
noticed him, you know, walkingback and forth a few times, um,
(09:23):
but in any event, uh, I said toher, oh, to her, okay, so then I
just went back in, I went backin the house and then I was just
like whatever, and but then Inoticed that her car was running
for a really long time.
Typically, um, you know, peoplethat are running their car,
(09:44):
especially if I come out,typically they'll drive away, or
they'll run it for a fewminutes and then drive away, but
it was running, for noexaggeration, maybe for like 30
minutes and she wasn't doinganything.
I didn't see them movinganything.
She said they were moving.
Mind you, they live on theother side.
(10:07):
So common sense would tell methat you would want to park as
close as possible to your unitif you're moving, not as far as
possible.
So, unsure why?
Well, I mean, I know why sheparked where she parked, but you
know, playing, quote unquote,devil's advocate, I don't want
(10:28):
to say devil's advocate as aChristian, but you know, um,
just giving her the benefit ofthe doubt, right?
Um, she was just like basicallystanding there and, um, she had
her trunk open.
And so there, um, the trunk wasopen.
But again there comes thesubliminal harassment, right, so
there are things that arestrategically placed in her
(10:51):
truck, um, to basicallysubliminally harass me paper
towels, things of that nature.
Um, whatever else was there.
I didn't really.
You know, sometimes I try toshield myself from that stuff
and I just kind of took a quicklook and then I was just like,
okay, whatever.
So then, when I realized thatthe car was running for quite
(11:14):
some time, mind you.
Okay, let me just kind ofreverse, because I was very
cordial, okay, I just wannamention that when I peeked my
head out my door, I was like oh,hi, and I was just like, oh, I
thought you were moving.
She was like, okay, no, um, weare, but you know, this is the
last of the things, okay, and Iwas like oh, okay, and I was
(11:36):
like, well, you know, um, I wishyou good luck and everything
and whatever.
And she was like, oh, thank you, and that was that.
So now, fast forward.
Like 20 minutes later, 25minutes later, I go back out and
I still see the car running.
So I know that they'redownloading information.
(11:57):
It's like so obvious, right,they're extracting data,
whatever it is that they'redoing.
So then I go around, I come outmy house, I go around to kind
of see what's going on, um, fromthe front side, because the car
was back into the parking lot,not, she wasn't facing um, you
know my unit.
(12:17):
So, um, I see she has vitamins.
Okay, pun intended, that'sanother subliminal tactic.
Um, I take my multi-vitamins, Ihave a lot of vitamins in my
cabinet.
So, again, that's just kind oflike psychological um,
manipulation, psychological, uh,harassment, to let me know that
(12:40):
.
Okay, I know what you have inyour cabinet or whatever you
know, whatever it may be, um.
So then, um, I go around and Ilook and I see her.
And then, you know, I make myway back into my house.
And as I'm making my way backinto my house, I mean I don't
(13:01):
say anything to her at thatpoint, right, I just go around
to kind of see what's going onand I see her messing around
with like some vitamins orwhatever.
I don't know if they werevitamins or like actual
medication, what have you.
So I make my way back into myunit and as I'm making my way
(13:22):
back into my unit, I see thisman.
He appears to be white, so I'mgoing to say that he's white,
and then he, as he's walkingcloser, he basically asked me oh
, is everything okay?
As I'm walking back into myunit, and you know, and I was
(13:42):
like I said actually no.
And he, at that point he waslike well, why don't you not be
okay inside your house?
And I was like well, you know,I have a right to stand in front
of my house.
Like how dare you Imagine thatright?
(14:03):
Like especially of my house?
Like how dare you imagine that?
Right, like um especially, Imean, look um, race I?
I, regardless of what peoplesay, oh, don't play, play the
race card and things like that.
But race is a factor here.
Okay, a race is a factor.
Ok, a race is a factor.
(14:34):
Imagine that this white male, orwhite appearing male, is
telling me to go back into myhouse and I'm standing in front
of my house and you're parked infront of my house and you're
extracting data why don't youstop?
Um, harassing my wife?
And I said excuse me.
I said um, I said actuallyyou're the one that's
subliminally harassing me.
And, um, and then he basicallystarted staring me down.
(14:58):
Um, I was at my door and he waslike by the car where him and
his wife were parked, and he wasbasically staring me down and I
said am I supposed to be scared?
Like, why are you staring at melike that?
Is that like, what is thatsupposed to do?
Um?
So then, um, I did not budge,and then, you know, he, uh,
(15:22):
ultimately went back, I guess,to his unit or whatever he was
doing, and his wife was stillrunning the car.
Now, um, that's my example ofDarvo and um, victim blaming,
shifting the blame.
They know why they were there.
They know that they were thereto one, extract information.
(15:45):
Two, subliminally harass me,and that is not the first time
that they've done that right,last week, right, or the week
before last, because, remember,I asked her.
I said, oh, I thought you weremoving.
She parked there and then, okay, like you're in your community
(16:06):
complex, your house is rightthere.
I think if you want tobreastfeed, you would probably
go inside your house andbreastfeed.
Um, but she was actually.
It was also another form ofsubliminal harassment and I
would call it also sexualharassment, because that is pun
intended for, basically,pornography and pornography
(16:30):
descriptions or videos.
So that was an additional formof harassment.
At that point last week, I didnot say anything to her, and I
didn't even say anything to herthe week, uh, last, two weeks
ago.
Rather, I didn't say anythingto her, I just ignored her.
(16:51):
And I didn't say anything toher on September 10th, but her
husband basically, um, because Idecided to walk out to see what
was going on, he said that Iwas harassing his wife, and so
that's, ladies and gentlemen,that is gaslighting 101 and
(17:11):
Darvo, perfect example of that,and so that's kind of like the
things that happens, thesubliminal harassment.
People will leave things um youknow, around, um just to kind of
uh, you know, trigger me or youknow, for their fun.
Maybe it's a, it's part of achallenge that they're doing on
social media.
(17:32):
I mean, I don't even reallyfollow um the things that
they're doing.
I'm not on social media Um, solike, maybe once in a blue I'll
probably see a few things and umyou know, it'll just come
across my feed or um I'll seesomething is trending and then
I'll kind of know that, okay,this is, you know, it pertains
(17:54):
to me, um, but you know, that'sessentially the story.
That's what happened.
That was my example of of umdarvo victim blaming and
gaslighting.
Essentially, these two people,these two individuals, a couple
um the husband and wife, wantedto um not only extract my data,
(18:18):
stalk me in person, um and umand um cyber, uh hack me,
whether they're not, you know,doing it directly.
They're just um utilizing um avulnerability or exploiting a
vulnerability.
They're still um accessing myinformation because it's just
(18:38):
like um opening someone's mail,right, um, just because the mail
is there, it doesn't mean thatyou take it.
It's just like openingsomeone's mail, right, just
because the mail is theredoesn't mean that you take it.
It's not yours.
So they were basicallyexploiting a vulnerability and
on top of that they weresubliminally harassing me.
And also I noticed that once Igot my cameras people started
(19:00):
acting up even more.
So you have a lot of jokers.
I'll call them they.
You know they walk around umone one neighbor, um, uh, he
basically went, he bought aballoon.
Um then, uh, he came out withhis little toddler, had a racket
(19:23):
I guess that's for pickleballpun intended.
So these things are not isolatedthings.
Someone that's listening tothis might say, oh my God, like
why are you making a big dealabout this?
This is nothing.
But you have to look at thingslike in its entirety.
(19:43):
And it's not just the isolatedinstances or the isolated
incidents, it's just like thebigger picture and what I go
through every single day.
And I remember in my old um, atmy old job, there was like some
type of I don't know gettogether that basically was
(20:08):
exploring race and things ofthat nature, racial divides, and
so someone came in and she wastalking about microaggressions
but also like different thingsthat can happen.
And people might say, well, whyare you making a big deal about
it.
And she said well, the perfectexample that I could give is
(20:31):
imagine that you have like athousand insects biting you
every single day, even thoughthe insect one is like a tiny
insect, right, or let's say it'sa mosquito or whatever, even if
it's just one mosquito, but ifyou have a thousand mosquitoes
biting you every single day,that the the impact is going to
(20:55):
be a lot.
So, um, that's kind of like,yeah, I have some ankle biters,
I have a lot of people coming atme, but I have a lot of people
coming at me, but I have a lotof people coming at me different
, in different ways, um, indifferent directions.
And, um, yeah, one subliminalmessage or, um, you know form of
(21:15):
harassment, multiplied byhowever many you know, because
it's not only happening in thecommunity complex, but it's
happening online, it's happeningwhen I go out, it's happening
everywhere I go.
So, um, that's kind of likewhere, where we're at, look,
this is me documenting, um, myexperience, um, and I just
(21:41):
wanted to share this with youbecause that's what happened
last week.
I was going to record it.
Last week when it happened, Iwanted to kind of cool down a
little bit, and then a few otherthings happened and so I kind
of held off, but I did want toshare this one example I don't
want to highlight, like thesepeople, because I feel like um,
(22:06):
as I'm speaking about this, theyfeel emboldened and they, they,
you know, they, they, they domore, but, um, I, I think it's
important for me to call themout and, um, calling them out is
the first step.
There will be other things thatI'll be doing, um, as time goes
on.
So, um, just kind of like, Iguess, if you want to say that
(22:31):
is just kind of like a heads up,like, you know, um, you want to
play stupid games, you'll getstupid prizes.
Um, so that is my um, darvoslash guy.
Uh, gaslighting experience.
Um, let me know what you think.
(22:51):
Um, I'm happy to uh, you know,if anyone has any feedback,
anyone has any resources thatthey can recommend, um, or if
anyone is going through the samesituation or similar um, I
would be happy to connect Um.
(23:13):
I will see you in the nextepisode.
Thank you for listening to TheDire-Rie of a Sane Black Woman,
and that's dire D I-R-E-R-I-Ediary it's a play on the word
diary.
All right, I'll see you allsoon.
(23:34):
I just wanted to say that beforeI end this episode, before
someone tries to put words in mymouth or tries to twist my
experience, I definitely don'thave anything with moms or
mothers breastfeeding in public.
But in my situation, especiallybecause, um, you know,
(23:55):
obviously my information hasbeen hacked and my information
is out there Um, that is one ofthe things that has been
basically infiltrating myalgorithm, basically
breastfeeding watermelons, um,subliminally harassing me, um,
and so that's that.
(24:30):
I'll get into, uh, thebreastfeeding and the other
stuff in another episode.
I'll leave it for anotherepisode, but, trust me, this is
it has nothing to do with amother, um, you know, it has
nothing to do with a mother, um,you know, breastfeeding.
Look, um, I'm fine with that.
It's just the fact that she wasdoing it subliminally to harass
(24:53):
me, all right, um.
Well, thanks again forlistening.
I will be back soon, all right,bye.
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