December 20, 2025 • 65 mins
A smear campaign can make a stranger out of your own name. We pull back the curtain on what it feels like to be followed, edited, and framed online, and in real life, while choosing a harder path: ask for forgiveness, extend forgiveness, and keep our boundaries sharp. This isn’t about spin. It’s about clearing our conscience before God and our community, and refusing to let bitterness script the story.
We walk through the difference between mercy and accountability, and why those two are not enemies. You’ll hear how faith, scripture, and Paul’s transformation inform our stance, and why “no condemnation” doesn’t mean “no consequences.” I share the unglamorous parts: recording from a parking lot, documenting surveillance, and dealing with algorithmic traps that twist “transformation” into culture-war bait. We name the tactics: AI distortions, manipulated clips, street theatre, boundaries, and clarity.
We also speak directly to communities who may have been to harmed by these tactics: Foundational Black Americans, the African and Caribbean diaspora, Asian and Hispanic/Latino communities, white listeners, and LGBTQ+ people. If anything attributed to me, real, twisted, edited, or fabricated, caused pain, I’m sorry. As we move forward towards change, call me in, not out. Context matters, growth matters, and dialogue is how we get there. I’m committed to reporting violations, guarding my peace, and still choosing grace.
If this resonates, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find the show. Your voice helps us keep building stronger and wiser, together.
Ever felt like your darkest fears of being watched were actually true? Well, this powerful documentation pulls back the curtain on life as a targeted individual—where privacy becomes fiction and safety an illusion. This series stands as both documentation and resistance—a refusal to be silenced despite overwhelming odds.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:32):
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Diary of a Sane
Black Woman.
I am Marie, your host.
I know I have been MIA on thispodcast, and as I previously
updated in the last episode,there has been a lot going on,
(00:54):
specifically from a cyberperspective, and a lot of
attacks on my network, mydevices, which has made it a lot
harder for me to record asregularly as I would have liked
to.
Even now, as I'm recording, thedevice that I'm using is not the
(01:15):
typical device that I would use.
And so, you know, the sound maynot be as good.
You might hear background noiseand so forth.
So please uh be patient with me.
But I just really wanted tobring this to you all, you know,
this episode.
I think uh it's definitely time.
(01:38):
I think the last time I postedwas back on November 14th, and
so I just want to touch base.
Please note that I am on X,formerly known as Twitter, and I
do post there regularly, sosubscribe so you can keep in
touch in between episodes.
Please subscribe, and the handlefor that is the Diary O A S B W.
(02:06):
I'll spell it for you.
That's T H E D I R E R I E O A SB W.
Please be sure to subscribe tomy ex page so you can keep in
touch in between episodes.
With that being said, what hasbeen up?
(02:29):
What has been going on?
Again, a lot of the same things,a lot of the same common themes,
but I've been standing strongand basically trying to move
forward.
And so, as you know, if you'vebeen listening to this podcast,
you see that I've been basicallyspeaking about forgiveness.
(02:51):
The last three episodes havebeen about forgiving those who
hurt you, those who attack you,even when it's done to you on a
continual basis.
And so today's today's episodeis really about uprooting smear
campaigns and privacy breaches,and it's a confier of
(03:14):
forgiveness, it's a forgivenessjourney amid propaganda.
So the tables are kind ofshifting.
So in the last three episodes, Iwas really focusing on extending
forgiveness to those who haveharmed me in so many different
ways, and how you know,addressing how God says to
(03:34):
forgive someone 70 times seven.
And so knowing that even whensomeone in the midst of an
attack that, you know, God asksus to forgive, even in the Our
Father, it says, God, forgive usour trespasses as we forgive
those who trespass against us.
And so we know that if we wantGod to forgive us, especially if
(03:56):
we want God to be gracious tous, we have to also be gracious
to others.
But again, as I've highlightedover and over, forgiveness does
not mean the absence of justice,it does not mean the absence of
accountability, right?
Um, it's just releasing thehurt, it's releasing the harm,
(04:20):
it's releasing it from yourheart, and it's also
surrendering to God, leaving itin God's hands, knowing that
you've released it to the courtsof heaven, knowing that God will
do what he needs to do in thatsituation.
At the same time, it also doesnot mean that you as an
(04:40):
individual do not take action asit relates to the hurt or the
harm, right?
And what I what do I mean bythat?
Specifically as it relates to,you know, essentially reporting
it to the authorities,documenting things that are
happening, right?
And so I think sometimes peoplethink, oh yeah, you forgive, and
(05:01):
though that means that, okay,you're not gonna report it to
the police or you're not goingto document it.
No, it doesn't mean that Iforgive you, but you know, there
is something calledaccountability, right?
And so I just want to kind ofmake that disclaimer as I am,
you know, here and basically umrecording this.
(05:23):
And as I'm recording it, I am ina parking lot, and you know, if
you do follow me on X, you'llsee that I do post, like I said,
real-time things.
And so I have this hashtag goingcalled I call it the parking lot
mafia because essentially, as atargeted individual, people
follow me everywhere, and sopeople will come to the parking
(05:46):
lot, they'll have their cars on,and basically to try to spy on
me, they'll drive by my car,they'll have their cars on,
they'll stand idly, they'll beon their phones, basically
trying to tap into my networkand extract information,
whatever it is that I'm doing.
And so, you know, this is stillgoing on, and you know, right
now that is my reality in reallife, not only on the internet,
(06:09):
but it's on it's in real life.
And I'm just saying all that tosay because as I'm recording
this, like there's a lot ofactivity around me.
Okay, so let's jump into theepisode, right?
And so, as I've been saying, thelast three episodes have been
dealing about forgiveness.
(06:29):
So if you've been here for thejourney, you know that you know
the last three episodes aboutforgiving others spoke about
releasing those who hurt us,choosing peace over over
bitterness, walking in obedienceto God.
And so today I'm changing myfocus, right?
So, as I said, now it's not onlyabout forgiving others, but it's
(06:54):
also asking others to forgiveme, asking God for forgiveness,
and for me to forgive myselfbecause sometimes I think we
forgive others, we ask others toforgive us, but sometimes we
don't forgive ourselves too,right?
We harbor whatever it is, youknow, that we may have done or
(07:16):
may not have done, you know, andwe think about all of the
what-ifs and and things of thatnature, but you know, it's
important to know that it's justas important to forgive
yourself, right?
If God be for you, who could beagainst you?
The Bible says that God hasremoved your sins from you as
far as the east is from thewest.
And so also it also says thereis now, there is therefore now
(07:41):
no condemnation for those whoare in Christ Jesus for what we
could not do in the flesh, andthat we were weak, Christ came
and did for us.
And so we have to know that thatGod is forgiving us.
There is a white car as I'mrecording right now, standing
idle right in front of my car.
Basically, again, it's thestalking, it's it's nonstop, it
(08:04):
is continuous.
People continuously follow mearound.
There's a white car right infront of me as I am recording
right now.
And I'm I'm I'm gonna as I'mrecording, I'm gonna I'm gonna
document this.
It's right in front of me.
And so let's see.
(08:24):
It's a white car.
It's a white Lexus.
It's a white Lexus.
I won't say the license plate,just out of respect.
But, you know, there's a lot ofprivacy violations, there's a
(08:47):
lot of, you know, peoplebasically following me around.
She's standing right in front ofmy car.
And, you know, that is that isthe extent of the um the
stalking and the harassment.
That is the extent of thestalking and the harassment.
(09:08):
There's another car right there,too.
There's another car right theretoo.
And it's like, it's continuous,it's non-stop, it's non-stop,
and people continuously followme around.
They continuously follow mearound.
I'm over here minding my ownbusiness, and they choose to
(09:32):
follow me around.
All right, so I'm back.
Where was I?
So I had to actually movebecause there were a lot of cars
congregating around me.
So that is literally the storyof my life as I'm trying to
record this.
But in any event, so here I am,you know, I'm here.
(09:53):
I'm talking about forgivenessand how, you know, it's
important not only to forgiveothers, but to also ask for
forgiveness and also forgiveyourself, right?
And I think the last time, thelast thing that I was saying is
that God says that there istherefore now no condemnation
(10:14):
for those who are in ChristJesus, right?
So if God be for you, who couldbe against you?
No one can condemn you if Godhas said He has released you
from that sin, from thatmistake, or whatever it is,
right?
You know, even God holds usaccountable at the same time,
right?
So again, forgiveness does notmean the lack of accountability.
(10:37):
And so today I am changing thefocus, I'm turning the tables,
and so I am saying humbly, I'mhumbly seeking forgiveness even
when, you know, I don't have thefull picture, the full story,
even for things that weretwisted or you know, things that
were completely fabricated thatI haven't done, that people are
(11:01):
saying that I done, that I'vedone, that I've said.
And so, you know, basicallypainting me as this hateful and
racist person, a person, youknow, that is a homophobe and
you know, that I that I'm youknow intolerant, like I don't uh
tolerate diversity, which islike could be the furthest thing
(11:23):
from the truth, you know.
You know, I am a very diverseperson.
I grew up in a very diverseneighborhood.
I've gone to very diverseschools, I've traveled a lot,
I've embraced various cultures,I love culture, I love language.
You know, at one point, youknow, my goal as an you know,
(11:45):
back I think in in high school,my goal was to become a
polylinguistic attorney.
That was my goal.
I wanted to basically learn allthese languages, be fluent and
and and and become an attorney.
You know, I I minored in in inyou know Spanish.
(12:05):
I I've traveled, you know, todifferent countries.
I've learned other languages insome other languages.
While I'm not fluent, I'm eitherintermediate or I know a few
phrases to greet others, and Ilove dance, I love culture, and
so that that incorporates whatI'm about.
I'm someone that basicallyembraces culture.
(12:26):
I'm someone that has devotedplatforms to culture, you know,
through sharing to sharing aboutculture.
So whatever is being paintedright now couldn't be, you know,
couldn't be further from thetruth.
And I think that this isactually a tactic that the enemy
is trying to use to obstruct theprogress of the destined state,
(12:50):
but to also obstruct the destinythat God has for me.
I think that God, my destiny andmy God-given purpose has to deal
with dealing with a diversegroup of people.
You know, I believe that I'vebeen called to the nations.
You know, that's not somethingthat I am saying.
I just I truly believe that'swhat God is calling me to.
(13:12):
God is calling me to a diversegroup of individuals, to a
diverse group of people.
And so as a result, what betterway for the enemy to try to
obstruct that by distorting, bydistorting, you know, who I am
and what I truly believe.
And I just want to say, as I'msaying this, this is really
(13:34):
impromptu what I'm saying.
I do have like a whole podcastuh podcast script here, but I'm
right now I'm really speaking toyou authentically, and I'm bet
being very candid.
And as God is dropping this inmy spirit, I'm thinking about
Paul.
Paul, right?
And I just want to say, even ifI did say every single thing
(13:56):
that these people are sayingthat I'm saying, even I, even if
I was a hateful person, even ifI was, even if I was, I am
changing.
I am repenting, right?
Even if I was, I don't believe Iam.
And maybe some things may be outthere that is saying otherwise.
(14:19):
But even if I was, look at thestory of Paul.
He was persecuting Christians,he was a persecutor of
Christians, and then Godconvicted him, right?
Paul had an experience on theroad to Damascus, and God said
to Paul, why are you persecutingmy people?
(14:39):
Right?
This is I'm I'm paraphrasinghere.
But and look at how much Paulhas contributed to the Christian
faith, right?
He was once a persecutor, thenhe converted as he had that
experience on the roads ofDamascus.
(15:00):
And if I'm not mistaken, if I'mnot mistaken, I believe Paul
wrote most of the of the NewTestament.
Paul wrote most of the NewTestament, right?
So as I'm coming here beforeeveryone and asking for
forgiveness, I'm not saying thatI'm complete, like I'm this, I'm
(15:23):
completely innocent and I'm thisperfect individual.
Like if you've heard me speakeven in my intros and me
introducing this podcast and mymy um ministry page, which I
recently created, although youknow I haven't devoted as much
time because there's so muchgoing on to it, you know,
destined for greatnessministries, you'll know that I
(15:45):
admit that I am not a perfectperson.
I am not a perfect individual.
I am not perfect by any means.
However, the majority of thethings that are being said, that
are being spread, that are beingdisseminated about me aren't
true.
Aren't true.
They are distorted, they aredistorted facts, they are
(16:10):
misinterpreted things, and a lotof the things are also
fabricated.
They're not true.
Even so, I'm choosing to ask forforgiveness.
Even so, I'm asking forforgiveness, even for the things
that were twisted or things thatI've never done at all.
(16:34):
Because one, I definitely wantto clear my conscience before
the Lord.
Because love requires humility,and because indirect hurt is
still hurtful.
So I also want to extend, youknow, asking for forgiveness to
those that might have received amessage that might have offended
(16:54):
them, that might have felt hurtby whatever it was that they
received that they thought thatI said.
And if I did actually saysomething, again, context is so
important, everyone.
Context is so important.
Let's make sure that it was inthe right context.
If it was something that was,why whether it was a joke or
(17:16):
something that was hurtful, thatI at the moment at the time that
I didn't think was, or, youknow, maybe it was something
that was said, and it wasn'tmeant for the consumption of the
general population, right?
Let's be real.
All of you guys, every singleperson, even those that are
attacking me, may at one pointhave said something that you may
(17:40):
not have met for basically thegeneral population to consume.
In my situation, I am in underconstant surveillance.
I am being recorded, but alsothings are being manipulated,
extracted.
There's a lot of AI and botactivity.
So there is a very malicioussmear campaign and propaganda
(18:02):
going on here.
So, with that being said,whatever it is that came across
your table, that came acrossyour screen, whether it's your
computer screen, your yourmobile phone or whatever that
was hateful and that you thoughtcame from me, Marie, I am, with
(18:23):
all my heart and all my soul,I'm asking you for you to
forgive me whether I actuallysaid that or I didn't.
And so that is my first, that ismy first step here.
Okay?
So, and I want to be clear too.
I'm not asking for forgivenessbecause, you know, I'm thinking
(18:46):
that, okay, this is gonna makeall this go away and make the
attacks stop, right?
I think one thing, the one thingthat's going to make the attack
stop is to actually catch theperpetrators, to catch the
people behind the keyboards, thecomputer screens that are
causing harm.
That is what's going to make itstop.
And I think it will happen oneway or another.
(19:10):
Because in God's timing, inGod's timing, justice, justice
shall prevail in his timing.
In his timing, right?
So again, my forgiveness isn'tconditional on behavior, right?
It's not conditional on, okay,if I ask for forgiveness, like,
(19:34):
okay, this will stop because,you know, actually my theory
here is that a lot of peoplethat receive like these hateful
messages are now joining thenetwork, you know, the network
of people that are now harassingme, whether it's, you know, in
person and doing, you know,street theater, and and I'll get
(19:57):
into that term.
Maybe I'll go through it's beena minute since I've done like a
podcast about terminology.
I'll go into, you know, streettheater and psychological uh
harassment and things like that,which they basically do because
it's it it it leads to plausibledeniability where you know it's
(20:18):
someone will be like, oh, okay,you're overreacting, you're
being paranoid, or this personis just doing a regular activity
that any person would do.
It's intentional, right?
And there's a pattern behind it.
And so, you know, I'm saying allthis to say this is just me
asking for forgiveness.
(20:38):
I want to release myself.
I want to release myself.
Whether you decide to release meor not, I am asking for
forgiveness.
I am making that first step, andI'm releasing it to the courts
of heaven, and I'm asking God toforgive me as well.
Because God says when Heforgives you, He forgives you.
And I am not carrying thisforward into 2026.
(21:03):
I am not going to have like thisdark cloud of accusation, false
accusation, and things like thatover my head in 2026.
That is one thing that I'mleaving behind.
And so I am choosing to freemyself.
I'm releasing these things toGod.
(21:23):
I'm releasing it in, you know,in his hands.
I'm surrendering to him, and Iam standing clean in my heart.
And as Jeremiah 10, excuse me,as Jeremiah 1.10 says, we are
called to uproot the toxic andthen build and plant.
And I guess since I was gonnasay Jeremiah 29.11, maybe the
(21:46):
Holy Spirit wants me to sharethis.
Like Jeremiah 29.11 says, I knowthe plans that I have for you.
Plans to prosper you and notharm you, plans to give you a
future and a hope.
And I'm paraphrasing here.
But I know that God's purposefor me is He has good intentions
(22:07):
for me.
It is not God's will for me togo through this.
And if it is, I know that hisgrace is sufficient for me.
Just like Paul had a thorn inhis flesh, and he asked God
multiple times, God, will youremove this thorn from my flesh?
The Lord said to Paul, My graceis sufficient for you.
(22:29):
So I am trusting in God's grace.
I know that God, He issufficient.
And so I cast my cares on theLord.
I cast every attack that hasbeen coming against me, every
smear campaign.
I cast it on the Lord because Iknow that his burden is light
and his yoke is easy.
(22:51):
And so this is not the firstforgiveness post that I'm making
in terms of like asking forforgiveness.
So recently I actually posted athread on X.
Again, if you're not followingme on X, go and subscribe or hit
the follow button because I poston there regularly, sometimes in
(23:13):
real time.
And so in between podcasts,that's definitely a good place
to keep in touch.
I'm also on YouTube, sosubscribe to my YouTube page.
Although I have not postedanything recently, I'm still
trying to, you know, sort out alot of different things.
Again, my entire life has beenhacked, y'all.
(23:35):
My entire life.
All of my devices, you know,even regular things like your
refrigerator, your thermostat,things like that, those all have
been hacked.
It doesn't matter where I go,there are people following me
around.
And it's just like it's it'sit's it's relentless.
In any event, so there is athread out there on X, formerly
(24:01):
known as Twitter.
And basically, this thread isabout you know asking for
forgiveness, right?
Now, no one has actually come tome and said, Hey Marie, did you
say these things?
Or hey Marie, so and so issaying that you're saying these
things, and I receive this aboutyou to my left.
There is this car standing,flashing again.
(24:23):
It it it's it's it never fails.
There is always somebodyfollowing me.
It doesn't matter.
It's a GMC truck.
A GMC truck, a gray GMC truck.
In real time, I'm going to callit out.
So the thread, anyway, I'm gonnacontinue because it's so
(24:45):
amazing.
I I think it's like to behonest, it's it's like an
obsession because these people,they actually cannot stop.
You know, they're like literalparasites and and and they're
addicts.
They they need to get theirnecks fixed, right?
What is Marie doing now?
(25:05):
But God is more than able.
So I release that person overthere to my left that has their
light on, that is monitoring meright now on in that GMC truck
as I'm recording this, and I'mgoing to continue the podcast
here.
(25:25):
So basically, no one has evercome to me directly to say, hey
Marie, you know, we think thatsomeone is attributing these
hateful comments to you, likeyou said this, you said that,
and then, or what have you,right?
It's just kind of like thingsthat are being hinted, whether
(25:46):
it's through psychologicalharassment, uh subliminal
messages, corrupted uhalgorithms and feeds and things
like that, that basicallyindicate what is happening.
So no one has had the courage.
You know what I mean?
Everyone is very bold to hidebehind, you know, in their cars,
(26:08):
to hide behind a keyboard, tospread lies and to distort the
truth.
But no one has come to me andsaid, Marie, you know, we know
you said this, or we're hurtthat you said this.
So I can't address anythingdirectly.
You know, I can't address anyspecifics because no one has
(26:30):
come to me.
So this is very one-sided.
It's like they want to attackme, they want to paint this
picture about me, right?
So it's like a covert, but veryopen.
So it's like an oxymoron, right?
It's like a covert campaign,which is very open, right?
(26:51):
And so I can't address it.
I can't address it.
Whether it's, you know, fakeaccounts, distorted clips, you
know, the algorithm, botnetworks, whatever it is that
they're using.
And then also, obviously,they're using these group chats
and things like that, andthey're sharing information, you
know?
So I can't address anything oranyone specifically because no
(27:15):
one has come to me.
But even so, I'm stilladdressing it generally, and I'm
coming here and I'm saying, I'msaying I'm sorry.
I'm asking for forgiveness andI'm saying I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for anything that cameacross your feed, for anything
that anyone said that I saidthat I didn't say.
(27:36):
I'm sorry if even I'm evensaying sorry for reacting to the
attacks, right?
Because in instances, I'm a verybold person.
I'm a very quiet person, but Iam a very bold person.
I am a very outspoken person,and I'm not afraid.
And you times that, or you addthat with what God has placed in
(28:00):
me, his spirit, because God saysthat he's not giving me a spirit
of fear, but he's giving me aspirit of power and a sound
mind.
You know, you add that with whatGod has given me.
I know that I am strong.
You add that with my regularpersonality, with the
(28:23):
personality and and with theHoly Spirit, because God says
He's not given me a spirit offear, but a spirit of power and
a sound mind.
I know.
You know, I I I am bold.
I am bold.
And sometimes maybe I can be toobold.
So God is dealing with me onthat.
(28:44):
I've gone to confession, y'all.
I've I've I've asked God forforgiveness to help me with
that.
Because I will confront you.
If if you are following me and Inotice that you are following
me, I will walk up to you andask you, why are you following
me?
I will.
And maybe sometimes I may bewrong, but honestly, I think 80
(29:07):
to 85% of the time I'm mostly,I'm mostly right.
Because I see the patterns.
So I can tell.
I've become so equipped to know,like to study body language and
know when someone is actually upto no good, they're following
me, or whatever it is, or thatthey're trying to hack into my
(29:28):
system.
Not only that, it's not only meobserving their behavior, but I
can also see the how my devicereacts, right, to their
presence, right?
If my device starts to act upand things like that, so I know.
So I digress, right?
But I digress.
So I'm just saying all this tosay that I'm asking for
(29:51):
forgiveness for what people saidthat I said that I didn't say,
for what I may have said thatwas taken out of context or
misinterpreted, and for maybethings that I might have said
once upon a time that basicallywas exaggerated or basically,
you know, if it was insensitive,I'm sorry.
(30:13):
I'm sorry I it was not myintent.
And I mean, I can't, again, Ican't address anything because
no one has come to me aboutanything.
This is just me trying to piecethe things together based on the
breadcrumbs that I have, right?
And so, forgive me, y'all.
(30:36):
Forgive me, forgive me.
And so I, as as I'm saying this,I'm gonna go through like
high-level, I'm gonna do like arecap of the thread that I did
on forgiveness.
And if you want more detailsabout that specific thread, go
to X.
Go to my page, the Diary of aSame Black Woman.
(30:58):
The actual handle for that pageon X is T-H-E-D-I-R-E R-I-E O
A-S-B-W.
Okay, so that's the dire re andthen O A S B W.
So follow me again.
(31:19):
I definitely post in betweenpodcasts.
I post regularly there.
So in between the podcasts,especially now in this
situation, that's probably thebest way to keep in touch with
what's going on.
All right, so let's jump intothe first segment or the first
part of the thread that I did onX.
(31:42):
So the first thread aboutforgiveness, right?
And if this is about me askingfor forgiveness, was an intro.
So this thread basically, thisthread slash episode basically
was about asking forforgiveness.
And I really believe that theHoly Spirit impressed upon my
(32:04):
heart to do this, right?
And so it was about asking forforgiveness, not just for what I
have said in heated moments, buteven for things that were
completely fabricated or thingsthat I haven't said at all,
right?
Because if someone out there washurt by a lie wearing my face,
(32:25):
that pain is real to them,right?
So whatever someone has saidthat I said, even if I didn't
say it, it's hurtful.
And again, white card to myleft, lights on, Lexus.
I'm gonna continue to do y'all.
I'm gonna continue to do this,y'all.
(32:47):
Be patient with me.
But this is in real life, R-I-L,all right?
I'm documenting things as theygo along, as they happen.
So essentially, you know, ifsomeone, if you are attributing
something to me that is hurtfulto you, even if I didn't say it,
(33:09):
I'm saying I'm sorry.
I'm saying I'm sorry.
And I actually refuse to letbitterness root in me.
And this is a very specialjourney for me, too, because
right now in the Catholiccalendar, they are basically in
(33:36):
a time where they're preparingfor the birth of Christ.
And so that is very similar toLent, where you know, in Lent
it's all about repentance andreconciliation and things like
that.
And, you know, this is also atime of reconciliation and
repentance.
And so I think it's it's so likeit's a pivotal moment, and it's
(34:01):
for me, it correlates with whatI believe that God is doing.
I believe this is the work ofGod, this whole forgiveness
thing.
Forgiveness is about healing,it's about moving forward, and
it's uh it's about rebuilding,right?
You can't rebuild on shakyground.
You can't rebuild where there'sbitterness, right?
(34:23):
And so again, in 2026, I refuseto to to to continue, you know,
to live under this this shadowof of guilt, of, you know,
slander, of false accusations.
Okay?
So Ephesians.
(34:46):
Right?
So it's about uprootingbitterness, uprooting, you know,
anything that might be hurtful,right?
Ephesians 4, 31 to 32 says, letall bitterness be put away.
Forgive one forgiving oneanother as Christ forgave you.
Colossians 3.13 says, bear withone another and forgive whatever
(35:13):
grievance.
Forgiveness releases me first,it releases you to God's
justice, and then it opens thedoor for healing.
If you're ever ready.
And so to recap the actualthread, and this again, this is
(35:38):
like a high-level summary.
I'm gonna repeat, I'm gonna readit now.
And this is the confidor thread.
I confess to Almighty God and toyou, my brothers and sisters,
that I have greatly sinned in mythoughts, in my words, in what I
(35:59):
have done, in what I have failedto do, through my fault, through
my fault, through my mostgrievous fault, I asked blessed
Mary, the angels, saints, andall of you to pray for me.
Then I extended the forgivenessand asked for it from anyone
(36:20):
hurt by anything attributed tome, whether real, out of
context, twisted, edited, orjust plain old fabricated.
I also in that thread I namedcommunities I sense may have
felt pain.
First and foremost, I addressthe foundational black
Americans, also known as FBA,and some also identify as EDOS.
(36:46):
And so I actually shared mydeepest honor for their
sacrifices because I believethat the foundational black
Americans have significantlycontributed to the United
States, its culture, and just alot of things.
They paved the way for anyone oranything that I want to say
(37:11):
identifies as a minority, right?
If you identify as a minority inany way, shape, or form, the
foundational black Americanshave paved the way for you.
They have paved the way for you.
I am an immigrant, I'm an I am aHaitian immigrant from the
Caribbean.
And a lot of the liberties thatI have today in the United
(37:35):
States, I have because of thefoundational black Americans.
I have because of thefoundational Americans.
Anything that I'm benefitingfrom today in the United States,
right?
In the US.
Anything that I'm bettingbenefiting from in the US, I
(37:56):
attribute to the contributionsand the fight that the
foundational black Americanshave.
And so I respect them.
And so anything that was twistedor said that I said that I
didn't say, y'all, I'm sorry ifif if you know you received
(38:16):
anything or anything that wasmiscontruded, no.
I you are my brothers andsisters.
I recognize you as my fellowbrothers and sisters, and I have
nothing but respect for y'all.
And so forgive me if anythingcame across your screen that was
(38:41):
attributed to me.
And if I did say anything thatwas hurtful in any way, whether
it was just a joke or what haveyou, or something that I said
during a time where I was maybenot mature enough to clearly
understand, or something thatmight have been birthed out of
(39:02):
influential like things from myenvironment.
I'm sorry, y'all.
I'm sorry.
Forgive me, but again, I can'taddress any specifics because I
don't know what is being saidthat I said.
I can't address the specifics.
And so the next the next groupthat I want to address is my
(39:27):
continental African, Caribbean,and global diaspora family.
Forgive me in the way that I saydiaspora.
I'm saying it like like theFrench or Creole way, diaspora
or diaspora, right?
So as an immigrant, again, as Imentioned, I am a Haitian
immigrant.
(39:47):
I wasn't born here, I did growup here.
So obviously, any immigrant, I'mI I love immigrants, right?
I and even if I wasn't animmigrant, like the US as a
country is an immigrant country.
Everyone here is not native tothe US.
Everyone came from somewhereelse.
(40:09):
So how can I be againstimmigrants?
So again, if there was anypropaganda or anything that was
twisted that made me seem likethat I wasn't for my own people,
I'm sorry.
Forgive me, um, accept myapology.
Reach out to me.
Like, if there's something thatsaid that was said that I said,
(40:31):
please reach out.
Like I can say, I'll be like,okay, I said this, or no, I
didn't.
Or, you know, it was taken outof context or what have you.
And let it be a teachable momentas opposed to something that
where you're actually using itto build more division.
(40:51):
The next community that I wantto address is the Asian
community.
And that could either be, youknow, whether you are a
Southeast Asian or what haveyou, whatever, you know,
specific ethnic background thatyou identify with.
Just generic uh generallyspeaking, I'm saying I'm sorry.
(41:17):
If any moment landed wrong, I'msorry.
If anything, any commentattributed to me that said that
I said something, I'm sorry.
There's a lot of things that Ididn't say, like maybe someone
on TV said it, and whatever'sbecause I feel like there's a
lot of recording going on.
Or if I watched someone, whetherit was through streaming and the
(41:40):
person said something hateful,and now it's attributed to me
saying it.
Like there's so much going onwith this thing, and there's
also a lot of fabrication, a lotof distortion.
But look, I'm sorry, y'all.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I don't know how much sorry Ican say.
And I don't know how to fullyapologize without having the
(42:01):
full picture of what is beingattributed to me, right?
And maybe I might have saidsomething, right, that was
insensitive or at any point intime.
And maybe I have said somethingbecause it was something that
had to do with a belief that Ihad at one point in time or or
(42:22):
specific situation, but I'm notlike a blanketed type of person
where I basically how can I sayit?
Like I say that this group,every person in that group is
this way.
I'm not like that.
Again, I grew up in a verydiverse neighborhood.
I went to diverse schools.
(42:44):
I went to schools with everyethnic background that you can
think of.
I've worked, all the companiesthat I've worked at have been
very diverse companies.
And so I've worked with so manydifferent people.
And I must say, throughout mylife and my career, Asians, and
(43:08):
I say this very like humbly,sincerely, I'm being very
sincere.
Asians that have that I havecome across, that I have crossed
paths with have been veryhelpful, very helpful people in
various moments of my life.
So there's no way that I couldbe hateful towards a community
(43:34):
that's been helpful to me.
Now, maybe at times I might havecalled out something that I
might have seen, because look,in every community, there's
gonna be, you know, someone orsomething that's done that might
not resonate with you and youmight call it out.
Does that mean that you'resaying that the entire community
(43:56):
is that way?
No.
But you might call somethingout.
But if I call something out, orif I express, how can I say, a
disagreement with something orhow something is done, it
doesn't mean that I'm sayingthat everyone in that group or
that community is that way.
So again, I'm I'm being verygeneric here because look,
(44:18):
again, no one has come to me, noone has been bold enough to come
and say, hey, Marie, we saw, wegot this message, and you know,
we saw that you said thesethings, so I can't address it
specifically.
But again, my DMs are open.
Um, you know, you can you cancomment on on the on this.
(44:38):
I don't know if the podcast hasa place to comment.
I think it does.
Or like on X, on the actualthread, you can comment on the
thread.
I don't currently have itpinned.
I think I'm going to pin itbecause I have something else
pinned right now.
But I'm going to pin it so thatanyone that comes to the X page,
(44:59):
that will be the first thingthat you see.
So if you want to comment onthat, comment on it.
Okay.
The next community that Iaddressed in the thread was the
Hispanic and Latino community.
Again, I'm Haitian.
And technically speaking, andsome might not agree with this.
(45:21):
Technically speaking, Haitiansare Hispanic and Latino.
We are literally Haitians.
We are from the island ofHispaniola.
Hispanic Hispaniola.
Okay?
We're literally Hispanic.
Latino.
Latino refers to any group ofpeople that basically has an
(45:43):
ethnic background stemming fromLatin roots, Latin, which are
languages that include French,Spanish, Italian, Haitians speak
French, they speak Creole, whichis at one point was considered a
dialect of French, but now it'sactually an official language.
(46:06):
We are more alike thandifferent.
(46:44):
And even his father, like hislast name is a Spanish last
name.
So like, I mean, y'all, we arethe same people, but there's
often it's easier to dividepeople and than to try to bring
people together.
Now, I must say again, like I'ma very outspoken person.
Might I have said things at onepoint that called out certain
(47:07):
things or patterns that I that Inotice in certain communities or
certain groups within theHispanic or Latino community?
Probably.
I know I've been outspoken aboutthe DR and Haitian relations for
sure.
Because there were there therehas been a lot of things that
(47:27):
have happened that, you know,that I've been even on like, you
know, my former social mediathat I've you know come up and
stepped up to defend Haitians orto call for for peace.
And I've I've I haven't donethat in isolation or like it's
the Haitians against theDominicans.
It's really been mecollaboratively working with
(47:49):
other Dominicans, like, youknow, being activists.
And a lot of these things havebeen sponsored by Dominicans
that were actually for morepeace and unity.
And so again, I'm not speaking,I'm not coming from a paid uh
space of division or a space ofsaying, you know, this group is
(48:12):
wrong or what have you.
I'm coming from a space ofunity.
I think that we're more alikethan different.
I've I've dedicated platforms tobasically honoring the Hispanic
and Latino culture.
So there's no way that I couldbe against the Hispanics, uh,
(48:34):
Latinos or immigration oranything like that.
And one thing that I've beenseeing in my feed, it's like,
you know, ice, like it's justlike frozen and things like
that.
So I don't know if that is beingattributed to me or whatever,
but it's it's it's crazy, y'all.
(48:57):
It's not true.
And whatever it is that you'reseeing, if you if you're bold
enough, if you have courage,reach out.
Reach out, tell me, hey, I'm I'mI'm I'm offended that you said
this.
And I'll say, hey, you knowwhat?
I did say that.
I'm sorry.
(49:17):
Or this was taken out ofcontext, or I didn't say that.
That was the TV, or that was uhsomebody that was I was
streaming that said that.
And because I, again, I'm a verydiverse person, I'm open-minded,
although the people might try toportray me as someone that's
not.
(49:38):
I watch different things, andjust because I watch different
things, it doesn't mean that Isubscribe to what they're
saying.
I like to hear what other peopleare saying, I like to see where
their mindset is.
I've listened to people thatspoken against my ethnicity,
(49:58):
that's spoken against myoriginal nationality.
Again, I'm born, I was born inHaiti, but I'm like, I want to
hear what they have to say.
Not only to understand theirperspective, but hey, if someone
has ill like feelings about meor like, I want to know, you
(50:21):
know, I want to know.
So not only to be careful, butalso to kind of sometimes it's
good to kind of see and try tounderstand things from that
other person's perspective tosee, okay, exactly what what's
their grievance?
What's their grievance?
Okay, so the next again, checkout the thread, right?
(50:42):
I'm just going through and I'mparaphrasing here, and I'm also
kind of speaking impromptu.
Some of the things that I'msaying here is not said on the
thread.
So, like, you know, I encourageyou to go to the thread and also
review it, comment, DM me.
The white communities was theother group that I addressed,
and it was also very generic.
(51:04):
I don't know what's being saidthat I said, if my words were
manipulated or implied for hate,you know, that is not coming
from me.
That is not my intention.
I'm not a hateful person.
I'm a very diverse person, butI'm also outspoken.
If I had said something in thepast that was objecting
anything, whether it wassomething that was, you know,
(51:28):
done that I thought wasn't washateful or whatever, you know,
maybe I might have addressedthat.
I I don't know, but I can'tspeak to it because I don't know
what said what was said.
And if it was something that Ididn't say that someone's
attributing to me becausesomeone else said it and they're
attributing it to me, you know,I can't address that either
(51:49):
because I don't know what it is.
But I I I I'm I'm alsoextending, you know, my apology
and saying I'm sorry if anythingcame across your screen, your
devices, that basically saidthat I said something hateful
towards you.
And I also want to acknowledgethat I I mentioned this about
(52:12):
the Asian community, but a lotof things that I've experienced
in life in terms of you know,people helping me.
There's something that I'vespoken about.
I've spoken about destinyhelpers.
Some of the people that's helpedme the most in terms of destiny
helpers have been from the whitecommunity.
(52:34):
So again, how could I be againstsomeone that is actually helpful
to me?
And I'm I'm not someone thatpaints everyone from a certain
community the same way justbecause there might be some bad
apples, right?
Every community, every everyethnic background, every ethnic
group has bad apples, right?
(52:56):
And so if at any point Ihighlighted something that maybe
someone from that background mayhave done, it doesn't mean I'm
attributing it to the entirerace.
So again, I I I I I don't knowwhat else to say beyond that
because I don't know thespecifics.
(53:20):
LGBT LGBTQ plus community is thenext community that I want to
address.
I don't have anything aboutagainst the LGD LGBTQ community.
I don't know what has been saidthat I said.
I am not here to judge anyonewhat they choose to do about
(53:43):
their sexual preferences oranything like that.
I've never been, I've never beenthat.
So I I don't know where this iscoming from.
Again, I truly believe this islike a distortion of things that
my eye, you know, that I mayhave said that may have been
taken out of context, or thingsthat I may not have said, or
(54:04):
things that I may have watchedthat people are now attributing
to okay, things that I've said.
Like if I've if I watchsomething, right?
Network, or again, someone thatstreamed something and they said
something hateful, but I didn'tsay that, but now they're
attributing it to okay, she saidthis, or because she watched
(54:29):
this, that means that shesubscribes to that, you know,
idea, ideology, or whatever.
No.
With that being said, I do stillhold to what the Bible says.
(54:49):
You know, so while I'm notjudging, but you know, I I also
want to make sure that I am inalignment with what the word of
God says.
But even so, I think that Godcalls us to unity in Christ.
So that is the first thing.
Everything outside of that, thatis between you and God and not
(55:11):
me.
It's not me to say anything.
And there are algorithms outthere, there are scripts, code,
if then things that are beingrun that if I use the word
transformation automatically, ittriggers hateful things.
It triggers hateful things andmakes it seem like I'm
constantly talking about LGLGBTQ or people transitioning,
(55:35):
which is not true.
I'm a change manager, I dealwith digital transformation,
organizational change and justand organizational
transformation.
So I'm gonna talk abouttransformation, but you know
what happens every time I usethat word because of the
malicious code that's beingused, they try to trigger things
and say that okay, it makes itseem like I'm somewhat obsessed
(55:58):
with people's being, you know,transitioning or whatever it is
that that that's happening.
It's not true.
It's not true, it's a hoax.
It's a hoax, it's a hoax.
And yeah.
So but if I have at any pointsaid something that was hurtful,
(56:22):
any comment, look, y'all, I'msorry.
I'm sorry.
Forgive me.
And DM me, y'all.
If if if if you're truly hurt,if I've said something or
something was attributed to methat I said something that I
didn't, reach out.
(56:43):
Reach out.
Again, as I said before, I comefrom a very diverse upbringing.
I love cultures, I love people,I'm not prejudiced, and I think
this whole experience is ateachable moment for me.
And so sometimes we have blindspots.
(57:04):
So if there's anything that Ihave done or said that may have
portrayed me as someone that ishateful, racist, or prejudice,
please let me know because Icannot grow or learn from this
(57:25):
if you don't tell me.
Like I I I'm just getting a lotof hate and a lot of things and
being attacked, and I don't evenknow what I did or said.
And so I can't learn or changeif I don't know what I did or
what I said, right?
(57:45):
So it's all about constructivecriticism and calling people in
versus calling people out,right?
And you know, what is themotive?
What is the objective?
Is your objective to cause hurt,to harm, or is your objective to
help that person grow, right?
(58:07):
Because if you're callingsomeone a racist or whatever it
is that you're calling them, andthen you're basically turning
around and doing the same thing,you're inflicting pain, you're
targeting them, you know, you'rejust as bad, or even worse.
Okay?
So anyway, check out the threadon X.
(58:29):
It's the diary of a same blackwoman.
And again, the the handle forthe X AKA Twitter page is the
T-H-E Dire D I R E R I E O A S BW.
So the diary O A S B W.
(58:56):
Did I get that right?
It's T-H-E-D-I-R-ER-I-E-O-A-S-B-W.
Again, T H E D I R E R I E O A SB W.
So that's the handle for thediary of a same black woman on
(59:20):
X.
All right.
And so in closing, I want totalk about the ongoing reality,
right?
I want to talk about the firstsegment was about uprooting,
right?
Asking for forgiveness, removinglike this black shadow of, you
(59:41):
know, or black fog of hate, youknow.
But now we want to talk aboutongoing, the ongoing reality,
accountability and rebuilding.
And so I just want to say thisplainly, right?
Grace is often misunderstood,right?
(01:00:01):
So I want to say that my choiceto forgive, to seek forgiveness,
and to release bitterness doesnot remove accountability,
right?
And I've said this over and overagain, right?
I said it in the beginning ofthis recording, and I've said
this also in previous podcastsand posts.
(01:00:22):
Forgiving does not mean I stopdocumenting it.
Doesn't mean that I stoppeddocumenting people following me
around, people attacking me,documenting the smear campaign,
the misinformation, or seriousprivacy violations, right?
Privacy violations like intimatedetails being shared without my
(01:00:43):
consent, right?
There's a lot of things that arehappening.
Now, it what it does mean, itmeans that it does not mean
that.
So what it does mean is that Icontinue to report violations to
platforms or authorities whenneeded, right?
I'm still forgiving.
Like I don't, I don't hate youor I'm not harboring harboring
(01:01:06):
any feelings, any ill feelingstowards you.
But what I am doing is that I amdocumenting and reporting it to
protect myself.
As I'm recording here, there'slike a security guy flashing his
thing.
I don't know why.
I I I'm not really sure what'sgoing on, but it is what it is.
(01:01:29):
It doesn't mean that I'mlowering my boundaries or, you
know, I'm allowing the continuedaccess to poison my peace and my
space, right?
So you can forgive someone andstill have boundaries.
You can forgive someone andstill hold them accountable.
(01:01:50):
So forgiveness andaccountability are not enemies.
As the Bible shows us, Godforgives, but he also judges
righteously.
Joseph forgave his brothers, buthe still tested them and
protected himself.
Jesus said, Forgive them whilehanging on the cross.
(01:02:12):
Yet he also overturned tableswhen truth and justice demanded
it.
So yes, I released a hurt andcontinuous attacks from my
heart, and I truly pray for thehealing of whoever is partaking
in this.
But I also protect minefiercely.
(01:02:32):
I document, I report, I block, Ispeak, because self-respect is
not pride.
Protecting your peace is notunforgiveness, and silence in
the face of ongoing harm is nothumility.
So today I'm uprooting lies withtruth and light, and rebuilding
(01:02:57):
on solid ground, which is faith,wisdom, community, unapologetic
boundaries.
Psalm 37, 5 through 6 says,Commit your way to the Lord,
trust in him, and he will act.
He will bring forth yourrighteousness as the light and
(01:03:21):
your justice as the noonday sun.
And so I am trusting in him.
I'm walking free, and I'm stillstanding, shameless, forgiven,
protected, and whole.
And so if you're on this journeytoo, if you're forgiving while
still holding boundaries, knowyour scene.
(01:03:42):
You're strong and you'reobedient.
Share below if somethingresonated with you.
Again, I'm calling you guys inand not out.
I'm asking for forgiveness.
Again, I can't truly remedy thisif I don't know exactly what the
issue is or what was said thatmight have been hurtful.
(01:04:04):
Feel free to comment or, youknow, private message me and
comment a testimony of releasewith protection or whatever it
is.
Again, this is the diarie of asame black woman.
This is season two, episodenine.
We made it to episode nine,y'all.
(01:04:27):
Forgiveness doesn't meanforgetting or excusing harm, it
means freedom with wisdom.
And so in closing, I ask, Lord,have mercy.
Christ have mercy.
Thank you for listening.
Please subscribe, share if thisblessed you, and until the next
(01:04:48):
episode, and we will keepbuilding stronger, wiser
together.
Peace and blessings, family.
Thank you for listening to thediary of a sane black woman.
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Diary of a Sane
Black Woman.
I am Marie, your host.
I know I have been MIA on thispodcast, and as I previously
updated in the last episode,there has been a lot going on,
(00:54):
specifically from a cyberperspective, and a lot of
attacks on my network, mydevices, which has made it a lot
harder for me to record asregularly as I would have liked
to.
Even now, as I'm recording, thedevice that I'm using is not the
(01:15):
typical device that I would use.
And so, you know, the sound maynot be as good.
You might hear background noiseand so forth.
So please uh be patient with me.
But I just really wanted tobring this to you all, you know,
this episode.
I think uh it's definitely time.
(01:38):
I think the last time I postedwas back on November 14th, and
so I just want to touch base.
Please note that I am on X,formerly known as Twitter, and I
do post there regularly, sosubscribe so you can keep in
touch in between episodes.
Please subscribe, and the handlefor that is the Diary O A S B W.
(02:06):
I'll spell it for you.
That's T H E D I R E R I E O A SB W.
Please be sure to subscribe tomy ex page so you can keep in
touch in between episodes.
With that being said, what hasbeen up?
(02:29):
What has been going on?
Again, a lot of the same things,a lot of the same common themes,
but I've been standing strongand basically trying to move
forward.
And so, as you know, if you'vebeen listening to this podcast,
you see that I've been basicallyspeaking about forgiveness.
(02:51):
The last three episodes havebeen about forgiving those who
hurt you, those who attack you,even when it's done to you on a
continual basis.
And so today's today's episodeis really about uprooting smear
campaigns and privacy breaches,and it's a confier of
(03:14):
forgiveness, it's a forgivenessjourney amid propaganda.
So the tables are kind ofshifting.
So in the last three episodes, Iwas really focusing on extending
forgiveness to those who haveharmed me in so many different
ways, and how you know,addressing how God says to
(03:34):
forgive someone 70 times seven.
And so knowing that even whensomeone in the midst of an
attack that, you know, God asksus to forgive, even in the Our
Father, it says, God, forgive usour trespasses as we forgive
those who trespass against us.
And so we know that if we wantGod to forgive us, especially if
(03:56):
we want God to be gracious tous, we have to also be gracious
to others.
But again, as I've highlightedover and over, forgiveness does
not mean the absence of justice,it does not mean the absence of
accountability, right?
Um, it's just releasing thehurt, it's releasing the harm,
(04:20):
it's releasing it from yourheart, and it's also
surrendering to God, leaving itin God's hands, knowing that
you've released it to the courtsof heaven, knowing that God will
do what he needs to do in thatsituation.
At the same time, it also doesnot mean that you as an
(04:40):
individual do not take action asit relates to the hurt or the
harm, right?
And what I what do I mean bythat?
Specifically as it relates to,you know, essentially reporting
it to the authorities,documenting things that are
happening, right?
And so I think sometimes peoplethink, oh yeah, you forgive, and
(05:01):
though that means that, okay,you're not gonna report it to
the police or you're not goingto document it.
No, it doesn't mean that Iforgive you, but you know, there
is something calledaccountability, right?
And so I just want to kind ofmake that disclaimer as I am,
you know, here and basically umrecording this.
(05:23):
And as I'm recording it, I am ina parking lot, and you know, if
you do follow me on X, you'llsee that I do post, like I said,
real-time things.
And so I have this hashtag goingcalled I call it the parking lot
mafia because essentially, as atargeted individual, people
follow me everywhere, and sopeople will come to the parking
(05:46):
lot, they'll have their cars on,and basically to try to spy on
me, they'll drive by my car,they'll have their cars on,
they'll stand idly, they'll beon their phones, basically
trying to tap into my networkand extract information,
whatever it is that I'm doing.
And so, you know, this is stillgoing on, and you know, right
now that is my reality in reallife, not only on the internet,
(06:09):
but it's on it's in real life.
And I'm just saying all that tosay because as I'm recording
this, like there's a lot ofactivity around me.
Okay, so let's jump into theepisode, right?
And so, as I've been saying, thelast three episodes have been
dealing about forgiveness.
(06:29):
So if you've been here for thejourney, you know that you know
the last three episodes aboutforgiving others spoke about
releasing those who hurt us,choosing peace over over
bitterness, walking in obedienceto God.
And so today I'm changing myfocus, right?
So, as I said, now it's not onlyabout forgiving others, but it's
(06:54):
also asking others to forgiveme, asking God for forgiveness,
and for me to forgive myselfbecause sometimes I think we
forgive others, we ask others toforgive us, but sometimes we
don't forgive ourselves too,right?
We harbor whatever it is, youknow, that we may have done or
(07:16):
may not have done, you know, andwe think about all of the
what-ifs and and things of thatnature, but you know, it's
important to know that it's justas important to forgive
yourself, right?
If God be for you, who could beagainst you?
The Bible says that God hasremoved your sins from you as
far as the east is from thewest.
And so also it also says thereis now, there is therefore now
(07:41):
no condemnation for those whoare in Christ Jesus for what we
could not do in the flesh, andthat we were weak, Christ came
and did for us.
And so we have to know that thatGod is forgiving us.
There is a white car as I'mrecording right now, standing
idle right in front of my car.
Basically, again, it's thestalking, it's it's nonstop, it
(08:04):
is continuous.
People continuously follow mearound.
There's a white car right infront of me as I am recording
right now.
And I'm I'm I'm gonna as I'mrecording, I'm gonna I'm gonna
document this.
It's right in front of me.
And so let's see.
(08:24):
It's a white car.
It's a white Lexus.
It's a white Lexus.
I won't say the license plate,just out of respect.
But, you know, there's a lot ofprivacy violations, there's a
(08:47):
lot of, you know, peoplebasically following me around.
She's standing right in front ofmy car.
And, you know, that is that isthe extent of the um the
stalking and the harassment.
That is the extent of thestalking and the harassment.
(09:08):
There's another car right there,too.
There's another car right theretoo.
And it's like, it's continuous,it's non-stop, it's non-stop,
and people continuously followme around.
They continuously follow mearound.
I'm over here minding my ownbusiness, and they choose to
(09:32):
follow me around.
All right, so I'm back.
Where was I?
So I had to actually movebecause there were a lot of cars
congregating around me.
So that is literally the storyof my life as I'm trying to
record this.
But in any event, so here I am,you know, I'm here.
(09:53):
I'm talking about forgivenessand how, you know, it's
important not only to forgiveothers, but to also ask for
forgiveness and also forgiveyourself, right?
And I think the last time, thelast thing that I was saying is
that God says that there istherefore now no condemnation
(10:14):
for those who are in ChristJesus, right?
So if God be for you, who couldbe against you?
No one can condemn you if Godhas said He has released you
from that sin, from thatmistake, or whatever it is,
right?
You know, even God holds usaccountable at the same time,
right?
So again, forgiveness does notmean the lack of accountability.
(10:37):
And so today I am changing thefocus, I'm turning the tables,
and so I am saying humbly, I'mhumbly seeking forgiveness even
when, you know, I don't have thefull picture, the full story,
even for things that weretwisted or you know, things that
were completely fabricated thatI haven't done, that people are
(11:01):
saying that I done, that I'vedone, that I've said.
And so, you know, basicallypainting me as this hateful and
racist person, a person, youknow, that is a homophobe and
you know, that I that I'm youknow intolerant, like I don't uh
tolerate diversity, which islike could be the furthest thing
(11:23):
from the truth, you know.
You know, I am a very diverseperson.
I grew up in a very diverseneighborhood.
I've gone to very diverseschools, I've traveled a lot,
I've embraced various cultures,I love culture, I love language.
You know, at one point, youknow, my goal as an you know,
(11:45):
back I think in in high school,my goal was to become a
polylinguistic attorney.
That was my goal.
I wanted to basically learn allthese languages, be fluent and
and and and become an attorney.
You know, I I minored in in inyou know Spanish.
(12:05):
I I've traveled, you know, todifferent countries.
I've learned other languages insome other languages.
While I'm not fluent, I'm eitherintermediate or I know a few
phrases to greet others, and Ilove dance, I love culture, and
so that that incorporates whatI'm about.
I'm someone that basicallyembraces culture.
(12:26):
I'm someone that has devotedplatforms to culture, you know,
through sharing to sharing aboutculture.
So whatever is being paintedright now couldn't be, you know,
couldn't be further from thetruth.
And I think that this isactually a tactic that the enemy
is trying to use to obstruct theprogress of the destined state,
(12:50):
but to also obstruct the destinythat God has for me.
I think that God, my destiny andmy God-given purpose has to deal
with dealing with a diversegroup of people.
You know, I believe that I'vebeen called to the nations.
You know, that's not somethingthat I am saying.
I just I truly believe that'swhat God is calling me to.
(13:12):
God is calling me to a diversegroup of individuals, to a
diverse group of people.
And so as a result, what betterway for the enemy to try to
obstruct that by distorting, bydistorting, you know, who I am
and what I truly believe.
And I just want to say, as I'msaying this, this is really
(13:34):
impromptu what I'm saying.
I do have like a whole podcastuh podcast script here, but I'm
right now I'm really speaking toyou authentically, and I'm bet
being very candid.
And as God is dropping this inmy spirit, I'm thinking about
Paul.
Paul, right?
And I just want to say, even ifI did say every single thing
(13:56):
that these people are sayingthat I'm saying, even I, even if
I was a hateful person, even ifI was, even if I was, I am
changing.
I am repenting, right?
Even if I was, I don't believe Iam.
And maybe some things may be outthere that is saying otherwise.
(14:19):
But even if I was, look at thestory of Paul.
He was persecuting Christians,he was a persecutor of
Christians, and then Godconvicted him, right?
Paul had an experience on theroad to Damascus, and God said
to Paul, why are you persecutingmy people?
(14:39):
Right?
This is I'm I'm paraphrasinghere.
But and look at how much Paulhas contributed to the Christian
faith, right?
He was once a persecutor, thenhe converted as he had that
experience on the roads ofDamascus.
(15:00):
And if I'm not mistaken, if I'mnot mistaken, I believe Paul
wrote most of the of the NewTestament.
Paul wrote most of the NewTestament, right?
So as I'm coming here beforeeveryone and asking for
forgiveness, I'm not saying thatI'm complete, like I'm this, I'm
(15:23):
completely innocent and I'm thisperfect individual.
Like if you've heard me speakeven in my intros and me
introducing this podcast and mymy um ministry page, which I
recently created, although youknow I haven't devoted as much
time because there's so muchgoing on to it, you know,
destined for greatnessministries, you'll know that I
(15:45):
admit that I am not a perfectperson.
I am not a perfect individual.
I am not perfect by any means.
However, the majority of thethings that are being said, that
are being spread, that are beingdisseminated about me aren't
true.
Aren't true.
They are distorted, they aredistorted facts, they are
(16:10):
misinterpreted things, and a lotof the things are also
fabricated.
They're not true.
Even so, I'm choosing to ask forforgiveness.
Even so, I'm asking forforgiveness, even for the things
that were twisted or things thatI've never done at all.
(16:34):
Because one, I definitely wantto clear my conscience before
the Lord.
Because love requires humility,and because indirect hurt is
still hurtful.
So I also want to extend, youknow, asking for forgiveness to
those that might have received amessage that might have offended
(16:54):
them, that might have felt hurtby whatever it was that they
received that they thought thatI said.
And if I did actually saysomething, again, context is so
important, everyone.
Context is so important.
Let's make sure that it was inthe right context.
If it was something that was,why whether it was a joke or
(17:16):
something that was hurtful, thatI at the moment at the time that
I didn't think was, or, youknow, maybe it was something
that was said, and it wasn'tmeant for the consumption of the
general population, right?
Let's be real.
All of you guys, every singleperson, even those that are
attacking me, may at one pointhave said something that you may
(17:40):
not have met for basically thegeneral population to consume.
In my situation, I am in underconstant surveillance.
I am being recorded, but alsothings are being manipulated,
extracted.
There's a lot of AI and botactivity.
So there is a very malicioussmear campaign and propaganda
(18:02):
going on here.
So, with that being said,whatever it is that came across
your table, that came acrossyour screen, whether it's your
computer screen, your yourmobile phone or whatever that
was hateful and that you thoughtcame from me, Marie, I am, with
(18:23):
all my heart and all my soul,I'm asking you for you to
forgive me whether I actuallysaid that or I didn't.
And so that is my first, that ismy first step here.
Okay?
So, and I want to be clear too.
I'm not asking for forgivenessbecause, you know, I'm thinking
(18:46):
that, okay, this is gonna makeall this go away and make the
attacks stop, right?
I think one thing, the one thingthat's going to make the attack
stop is to actually catch theperpetrators, to catch the
people behind the keyboards, thecomputer screens that are
causing harm.
That is what's going to make itstop.
And I think it will happen oneway or another.
(19:10):
Because in God's timing, inGod's timing, justice, justice
shall prevail in his timing.
In his timing, right?
So again, my forgiveness isn'tconditional on behavior, right?
It's not conditional on, okay,if I ask for forgiveness, like,
(19:34):
okay, this will stop because,you know, actually my theory
here is that a lot of peoplethat receive like these hateful
messages are now joining thenetwork, you know, the network
of people that are now harassingme, whether it's, you know, in
person and doing, you know,street theater, and and I'll get
(19:57):
into that term.
Maybe I'll go through it's beena minute since I've done like a
podcast about terminology.
I'll go into, you know, streettheater and psychological uh
harassment and things like that,which they basically do because
it's it it it leads to plausibledeniability where you know it's
(20:18):
someone will be like, oh, okay,you're overreacting, you're
being paranoid, or this personis just doing a regular activity
that any person would do.
It's intentional, right?
And there's a pattern behind it.
And so, you know, I'm saying allthis to say this is just me
asking for forgiveness.
(20:38):
I want to release myself.
I want to release myself.
Whether you decide to release meor not, I am asking for
forgiveness.
I am making that first step, andI'm releasing it to the courts
of heaven, and I'm asking God toforgive me as well.
Because God says when Heforgives you, He forgives you.
And I am not carrying thisforward into 2026.
(21:03):
I am not going to have like thisdark cloud of accusation, false
accusation, and things like thatover my head in 2026.
That is one thing that I'mleaving behind.
And so I am choosing to freemyself.
I'm releasing these things toGod.
(21:23):
I'm releasing it in, you know,in his hands.
I'm surrendering to him, and Iam standing clean in my heart.
And as Jeremiah 10, excuse me,as Jeremiah 1.10 says, we are
called to uproot the toxic andthen build and plant.
And I guess since I was gonnasay Jeremiah 29.11, maybe the
(21:46):
Holy Spirit wants me to sharethis.
Like Jeremiah 29.11 says, I knowthe plans that I have for you.
Plans to prosper you and notharm you, plans to give you a
future and a hope.
And I'm paraphrasing here.
But I know that God's purposefor me is He has good intentions
(22:07):
for me.
It is not God's will for me togo through this.
And if it is, I know that hisgrace is sufficient for me.
Just like Paul had a thorn inhis flesh, and he asked God
multiple times, God, will youremove this thorn from my flesh?
The Lord said to Paul, My graceis sufficient for you.
(22:29):
So I am trusting in God's grace.
I know that God, He issufficient.
And so I cast my cares on theLord.
I cast every attack that hasbeen coming against me, every
smear campaign.
I cast it on the Lord because Iknow that his burden is light
and his yoke is easy.
(22:51):
And so this is not the firstforgiveness post that I'm making
in terms of like asking forforgiveness.
So recently I actually posted athread on X.
Again, if you're not followingme on X, go and subscribe or hit
the follow button because I poston there regularly, sometimes in
(23:13):
real time.
And so in between podcasts,that's definitely a good place
to keep in touch.
I'm also on YouTube, sosubscribe to my YouTube page.
Although I have not postedanything recently, I'm still
trying to, you know, sort out alot of different things.
Again, my entire life has beenhacked, y'all.
(23:35):
My entire life.
All of my devices, you know,even regular things like your
refrigerator, your thermostat,things like that, those all have
been hacked.
It doesn't matter where I go,there are people following me
around.
And it's just like it's it'sit's it's relentless.
In any event, so there is athread out there on X, formerly
(24:01):
known as Twitter.
And basically, this thread isabout you know asking for
forgiveness, right?
Now, no one has actually come tome and said, Hey Marie, did you
say these things?
Or hey Marie, so and so issaying that you're saying these
things, and I receive this aboutyou to my left.
There is this car standing,flashing again.
(24:23):
It it it's it's it never fails.
There is always somebodyfollowing me.
It doesn't matter.
It's a GMC truck.
A GMC truck, a gray GMC truck.
In real time, I'm going to callit out.
So the thread, anyway, I'm gonnacontinue because it's so
(24:45):
amazing.
I I think it's like to behonest, it's it's like an
obsession because these people,they actually cannot stop.
You know, they're like literalparasites and and and they're
addicts.
They they need to get theirnecks fixed, right?
What is Marie doing now?
(25:05):
But God is more than able.
So I release that person overthere to my left that has their
light on, that is monitoring meright now on in that GMC truck
as I'm recording this, and I'mgoing to continue the podcast
here.
(25:25):
So basically, no one has evercome to me directly to say, hey
Marie, you know, we think thatsomeone is attributing these
hateful comments to you, likeyou said this, you said that,
and then, or what have you,right?
It's just kind of like thingsthat are being hinted, whether
(25:46):
it's through psychologicalharassment, uh subliminal
messages, corrupted uhalgorithms and feeds and things
like that, that basicallyindicate what is happening.
So no one has had the courage.
You know what I mean?
Everyone is very bold to hidebehind, you know, in their cars,
(26:08):
to hide behind a keyboard, tospread lies and to distort the
truth.
But no one has come to me andsaid, Marie, you know, we know
you said this, or we're hurtthat you said this.
So I can't address anythingdirectly.
You know, I can't address anyspecifics because no one has
(26:30):
come to me.
So this is very one-sided.
It's like they want to attackme, they want to paint this
picture about me, right?
So it's like a covert, but veryopen.
So it's like an oxymoron, right?
It's like a covert campaign,which is very open, right?
(26:51):
And so I can't address it.
I can't address it.
Whether it's, you know, fakeaccounts, distorted clips, you
know, the algorithm, botnetworks, whatever it is that
they're using.
And then also, obviously,they're using these group chats
and things like that, andthey're sharing information, you
know?
So I can't address anything oranyone specifically because no
(27:15):
one has come to me.
But even so, I'm stilladdressing it generally, and I'm
coming here and I'm saying, I'msaying I'm sorry.
I'm asking for forgiveness andI'm saying I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for anything that cameacross your feed, for anything
that anyone said that I saidthat I didn't say.
(27:36):
I'm sorry if even I'm evensaying sorry for reacting to the
attacks, right?
Because in instances, I'm a verybold person.
I'm a very quiet person, but Iam a very bold person.
I am a very outspoken person,and I'm not afraid.
And you times that, or you addthat with what God has placed in
(28:00):
me, his spirit, because God saysthat he's not giving me a spirit
of fear, but he's giving me aspirit of power and a sound
mind.
You know, you add that with whatGod has given me.
I know that I am strong.
You add that with my regularpersonality, with the
(28:23):
personality and and with theHoly Spirit, because God says
He's not given me a spirit offear, but a spirit of power and
a sound mind.
I know.
You know, I I I am bold.
I am bold.
And sometimes maybe I can be toobold.
So God is dealing with me onthat.
(28:44):
I've gone to confession, y'all.
I've I've I've asked God forforgiveness to help me with
that.
Because I will confront you.
If if you are following me and Inotice that you are following
me, I will walk up to you andask you, why are you following
me?
I will.
And maybe sometimes I may bewrong, but honestly, I think 80
(29:07):
to 85% of the time I'm mostly,I'm mostly right.
Because I see the patterns.
So I can tell.
I've become so equipped to know,like to study body language and
know when someone is actually upto no good, they're following
me, or whatever it is, or thatthey're trying to hack into my
(29:28):
system.
Not only that, it's not only meobserving their behavior, but I
can also see the how my devicereacts, right, to their
presence, right?
If my device starts to act upand things like that, so I know.
So I digress, right?
But I digress.
So I'm just saying all this tosay that I'm asking for
(29:51):
forgiveness for what people saidthat I said that I didn't say,
for what I may have said thatwas taken out of context or
misinterpreted, and for maybethings that I might have said
once upon a time that basicallywas exaggerated or basically,
you know, if it was insensitive,I'm sorry.
(30:13):
I'm sorry I it was not myintent.
And I mean, I can't, again, Ican't address anything because
no one has come to me aboutanything.
This is just me trying to piecethe things together based on the
breadcrumbs that I have, right?
And so, forgive me, y'all.
(30:36):
Forgive me, forgive me.
And so I, as as I'm saying this,I'm gonna go through like
high-level, I'm gonna do like arecap of the thread that I did
on forgiveness.
And if you want more detailsabout that specific thread, go
to X.
Go to my page, the Diary of aSame Black Woman.
(30:58):
The actual handle for that pageon X is T-H-E-D-I-R-E R-I-E O
A-S-B-W.
Okay, so that's the dire re andthen O A S B W.
So follow me again.
(31:19):
I definitely post in betweenpodcasts.
I post regularly there.
So in between the podcasts,especially now in this
situation, that's probably thebest way to keep in touch with
what's going on.
All right, so let's jump intothe first segment or the first
part of the thread that I did onX.
(31:42):
So the first thread aboutforgiveness, right?
And if this is about me askingfor forgiveness, was an intro.
So this thread basically, thisthread slash episode basically
was about asking forforgiveness.
And I really believe that theHoly Spirit impressed upon my
(32:04):
heart to do this, right?
And so it was about asking forforgiveness, not just for what I
have said in heated moments, buteven for things that were
completely fabricated or thingsthat I haven't said at all,
right?
Because if someone out there washurt by a lie wearing my face,
(32:25):
that pain is real to them,right?
So whatever someone has saidthat I said, even if I didn't
say it, it's hurtful.
And again, white card to myleft, lights on, Lexus.
I'm gonna continue to do y'all.
I'm gonna continue to do this,y'all.
(32:47):
Be patient with me.
But this is in real life, R-I-L,all right?
I'm documenting things as theygo along, as they happen.
So essentially, you know, ifsomeone, if you are attributing
something to me that is hurtfulto you, even if I didn't say it,
(33:09):
I'm saying I'm sorry.
I'm saying I'm sorry.
And I actually refuse to letbitterness root in me.
And this is a very specialjourney for me, too, because
right now in the Catholiccalendar, they are basically in
(33:36):
a time where they're preparingfor the birth of Christ.
And so that is very similar toLent, where you know, in Lent
it's all about repentance andreconciliation and things like
that.
And, you know, this is also atime of reconciliation and
repentance.
And so I think it's it's so likeit's a pivotal moment, and it's
(34:01):
for me, it correlates with whatI believe that God is doing.
I believe this is the work ofGod, this whole forgiveness
thing.
Forgiveness is about healing,it's about moving forward, and
it's uh it's about rebuilding,right?
You can't rebuild on shakyground.
You can't rebuild where there'sbitterness, right?
(34:23):
And so again, in 2026, I refuseto to to to continue, you know,
to live under this this shadowof of guilt, of, you know,
slander, of false accusations.
Okay?
So Ephesians.
(34:46):
Right?
So it's about uprootingbitterness, uprooting, you know,
anything that might be hurtful,right?
Ephesians 4, 31 to 32 says, letall bitterness be put away.
Forgive one forgiving oneanother as Christ forgave you.
Colossians 3.13 says, bear withone another and forgive whatever
(35:13):
grievance.
Forgiveness releases me first,it releases you to God's
justice, and then it opens thedoor for healing.
If you're ever ready.
And so to recap the actualthread, and this again, this is
(35:38):
like a high-level summary.
I'm gonna repeat, I'm gonna readit now.
And this is the confidor thread.
I confess to Almighty God and toyou, my brothers and sisters,
that I have greatly sinned in mythoughts, in my words, in what I
(35:59):
have done, in what I have failedto do, through my fault, through
my fault, through my mostgrievous fault, I asked blessed
Mary, the angels, saints, andall of you to pray for me.
Then I extended the forgivenessand asked for it from anyone
(36:20):
hurt by anything attributed tome, whether real, out of
context, twisted, edited, orjust plain old fabricated.
I also in that thread I namedcommunities I sense may have
felt pain.
First and foremost, I addressthe foundational black
Americans, also known as FBA,and some also identify as EDOS.
(36:46):
And so I actually shared mydeepest honor for their
sacrifices because I believethat the foundational black
Americans have significantlycontributed to the United
States, its culture, and just alot of things.
They paved the way for anyone oranything that I want to say
(37:11):
identifies as a minority, right?
If you identify as a minority inany way, shape, or form, the
foundational black Americanshave paved the way for you.
They have paved the way for you.
I am an immigrant, I'm an I am aHaitian immigrant from the
Caribbean.
And a lot of the liberties thatI have today in the United
(37:35):
States, I have because of thefoundational black Americans.
I have because of thefoundational Americans.
Anything that I'm benefitingfrom today in the United States,
right?
In the US.
Anything that I'm bettingbenefiting from in the US, I
(37:56):
attribute to the contributionsand the fight that the
foundational black Americanshave.
And so I respect them.
And so anything that was twistedor said that I said that I
didn't say, y'all, I'm sorry ifif if you know you received
(38:16):
anything or anything that wasmiscontruded, no.
I you are my brothers andsisters.
I recognize you as my fellowbrothers and sisters, and I have
nothing but respect for y'all.
And so forgive me if anythingcame across your screen that was
(38:41):
attributed to me.
And if I did say anything thatwas hurtful in any way, whether
it was just a joke or what haveyou, or something that I said
during a time where I was maybenot mature enough to clearly
understand, or something thatmight have been birthed out of
(39:02):
influential like things from myenvironment.
I'm sorry, y'all.
I'm sorry.
Forgive me, but again, I can'taddress any specifics because I
don't know what is being saidthat I said.
I can't address the specifics.
And so the next the next groupthat I want to address is my
(39:27):
continental African, Caribbean,and global diaspora family.
Forgive me in the way that I saydiaspora.
I'm saying it like like theFrench or Creole way, diaspora
or diaspora, right?
So as an immigrant, again, as Imentioned, I am a Haitian
immigrant.
(39:47):
I wasn't born here, I did growup here.
So obviously, any immigrant, I'mI I love immigrants, right?
I and even if I wasn't animmigrant, like the US as a
country is an immigrant country.
Everyone here is not native tothe US.
Everyone came from somewhereelse.
(40:09):
So how can I be againstimmigrants?
So again, if there was anypropaganda or anything that was
twisted that made me seem likethat I wasn't for my own people,
I'm sorry.
Forgive me, um, accept myapology.
Reach out to me.
Like, if there's something thatsaid that was said that I said,
(40:31):
please reach out.
Like I can say, I'll be like,okay, I said this, or no, I
didn't.
Or, you know, it was taken outof context or what have you.
And let it be a teachable momentas opposed to something that
where you're actually using itto build more division.
(40:51):
The next community that I wantto address is the Asian
community.
And that could either be, youknow, whether you are a
Southeast Asian or what haveyou, whatever, you know,
specific ethnic background thatyou identify with.
Just generic uh generallyspeaking, I'm saying I'm sorry.
(41:17):
If any moment landed wrong, I'msorry.
If anything, any commentattributed to me that said that
I said something, I'm sorry.
There's a lot of things that Ididn't say, like maybe someone
on TV said it, and whatever'sbecause I feel like there's a
lot of recording going on.
Or if I watched someone, whetherit was through streaming and the
(41:40):
person said something hateful,and now it's attributed to me
saying it.
Like there's so much going onwith this thing, and there's
also a lot of fabrication, a lotof distortion.
But look, I'm sorry, y'all.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I don't know how much sorry Ican say.
And I don't know how to fullyapologize without having the
(42:01):
full picture of what is beingattributed to me, right?
And maybe I might have saidsomething, right, that was
insensitive or at any point intime.
And maybe I have said somethingbecause it was something that
had to do with a belief that Ihad at one point in time or or
(42:22):
specific situation, but I'm notlike a blanketed type of person
where I basically how can I sayit?
Like I say that this group,every person in that group is
this way.
I'm not like that.
Again, I grew up in a verydiverse neighborhood.
I went to diverse schools.
(42:44):
I went to schools with everyethnic background that you can
think of.
I've worked, all the companiesthat I've worked at have been
very diverse companies.
And so I've worked with so manydifferent people.
And I must say, throughout mylife and my career, Asians, and
(43:08):
I say this very like humbly,sincerely, I'm being very
sincere.
Asians that have that I havecome across, that I have crossed
paths with have been veryhelpful, very helpful people in
various moments of my life.
So there's no way that I couldbe hateful towards a community
(43:34):
that's been helpful to me.
Now, maybe at times I might havecalled out something that I
might have seen, because look,in every community, there's
gonna be, you know, someone orsomething that's done that might
not resonate with you and youmight call it out.
Does that mean that you'resaying that the entire community
(43:56):
is that way?
No.
But you might call somethingout.
But if I call something out, orif I express, how can I say, a
disagreement with something orhow something is done, it
doesn't mean that I'm sayingthat everyone in that group or
that community is that way.
So again, I'm I'm being verygeneric here because look,
(44:18):
again, no one has come to me, noone has been bold enough to come
and say, hey, Marie, we saw, wegot this message, and you know,
we saw that you said thesethings, so I can't address it
specifically.
But again, my DMs are open.
Um, you know, you can you cancomment on on the on this.
(44:38):
I don't know if the podcast hasa place to comment.
I think it does.
Or like on X, on the actualthread, you can comment on the
thread.
I don't currently have itpinned.
I think I'm going to pin itbecause I have something else
pinned right now.
But I'm going to pin it so thatanyone that comes to the X page,
(44:59):
that will be the first thingthat you see.
So if you want to comment onthat, comment on it.
Okay.
The next community that Iaddressed in the thread was the
Hispanic and Latino community.
Again, I'm Haitian.
And technically speaking, andsome might not agree with this.
(45:21):
Technically speaking, Haitiansare Hispanic and Latino.
We are literally Haitians.
We are from the island ofHispaniola.
Hispanic Hispaniola.
Okay?
We're literally Hispanic.
Latino.
Latino refers to any group ofpeople that basically has an
(45:43):
ethnic background stemming fromLatin roots, Latin, which are
languages that include French,Spanish, Italian, Haitians speak
French, they speak Creole, whichis at one point was considered a
dialect of French, but now it'sactually an official language.
(46:06):
We are more alike thandifferent.
(46:44):
And even his father, like hislast name is a Spanish last
name.
So like, I mean, y'all, we arethe same people, but there's
often it's easier to dividepeople and than to try to bring
people together.
Now, I must say again, like I'ma very outspoken person.
Might I have said things at onepoint that called out certain
(47:07):
things or patterns that I that Inotice in certain communities or
certain groups within theHispanic or Latino community?
Probably.
I know I've been outspoken aboutthe DR and Haitian relations for
sure.
Because there were there therehas been a lot of things that
(47:27):
have happened that, you know,that I've been even on like, you
know, my former social mediathat I've you know come up and
stepped up to defend Haitians orto call for for peace.
And I've I've I haven't donethat in isolation or like it's
the Haitians against theDominicans.
It's really been mecollaboratively working with
(47:49):
other Dominicans, like, youknow, being activists.
And a lot of these things havebeen sponsored by Dominicans
that were actually for morepeace and unity.
And so again, I'm not speaking,I'm not coming from a paid uh
space of division or a space ofsaying, you know, this group is
(48:12):
wrong or what have you.
I'm coming from a space ofunity.
I think that we're more alikethan different.
I've I've dedicated platforms tobasically honoring the Hispanic
and Latino culture.
So there's no way that I couldbe against the Hispanics, uh,
(48:34):
Latinos or immigration oranything like that.
And one thing that I've beenseeing in my feed, it's like,
you know, ice, like it's justlike frozen and things like
that.
So I don't know if that is beingattributed to me or whatever,
but it's it's it's crazy, y'all.
(48:57):
It's not true.
And whatever it is that you'reseeing, if you if you're bold
enough, if you have courage,reach out.
Reach out, tell me, hey, I'm I'mI'm I'm offended that you said
this.
And I'll say, hey, you knowwhat?
I did say that.
I'm sorry.
(49:17):
Or this was taken out ofcontext, or I didn't say that.
That was the TV, or that was uhsomebody that was I was
streaming that said that.
And because I, again, I'm a verydiverse person, I'm open-minded,
although the people might try toportray me as someone that's
not.
(49:38):
I watch different things, andjust because I watch different
things, it doesn't mean that Isubscribe to what they're
saying.
I like to hear what other peopleare saying, I like to see where
their mindset is.
I've listened to people thatspoken against my ethnicity,
(49:58):
that's spoken against myoriginal nationality.
Again, I'm born, I was born inHaiti, but I'm like, I want to
hear what they have to say.
Not only to understand theirperspective, but hey, if someone
has ill like feelings about meor like, I want to know, you
(50:21):
know, I want to know.
So not only to be careful, butalso to kind of sometimes it's
good to kind of see and try tounderstand things from that
other person's perspective tosee, okay, exactly what what's
their grievance?
What's their grievance?
Okay, so the next again, checkout the thread, right?
(50:42):
I'm just going through and I'mparaphrasing here, and I'm also
kind of speaking impromptu.
Some of the things that I'msaying here is not said on the
thread.
So, like, you know, I encourageyou to go to the thread and also
review it, comment, DM me.
The white communities was theother group that I addressed,
and it was also very generic.
(51:04):
I don't know what's being saidthat I said, if my words were
manipulated or implied for hate,you know, that is not coming
from me.
That is not my intention.
I'm not a hateful person.
I'm a very diverse person, butI'm also outspoken.
If I had said something in thepast that was objecting
anything, whether it wassomething that was, you know,
(51:28):
done that I thought wasn't washateful or whatever, you know,
maybe I might have addressedthat.
I I don't know, but I can'tspeak to it because I don't know
what said what was said.
And if it was something that Ididn't say that someone's
attributing to me becausesomeone else said it and they're
attributing it to me, you know,I can't address that either
(51:49):
because I don't know what it is.
But I I I I'm I'm alsoextending, you know, my apology
and saying I'm sorry if anythingcame across your screen, your
devices, that basically saidthat I said something hateful
towards you.
And I also want to acknowledgethat I I mentioned this about
(52:12):
the Asian community, but a lotof things that I've experienced
in life in terms of you know,people helping me.
There's something that I'vespoken about.
I've spoken about destinyhelpers.
Some of the people that's helpedme the most in terms of destiny
helpers have been from the whitecommunity.
(52:34):
So again, how could I be againstsomeone that is actually helpful
to me?
And I'm I'm not someone thatpaints everyone from a certain
community the same way justbecause there might be some bad
apples, right?
Every community, every everyethnic background, every ethnic
group has bad apples, right?
(52:56):
And so if at any point Ihighlighted something that maybe
someone from that background mayhave done, it doesn't mean I'm
attributing it to the entirerace.
So again, I I I I I don't knowwhat else to say beyond that
because I don't know thespecifics.
(53:20):
LGBT LGBTQ plus community is thenext community that I want to
address.
I don't have anything aboutagainst the LGD LGBTQ community.
I don't know what has been saidthat I said.
I am not here to judge anyonewhat they choose to do about
(53:43):
their sexual preferences oranything like that.
I've never been, I've never beenthat.
So I I don't know where this iscoming from.
Again, I truly believe this islike a distortion of things that
my eye, you know, that I mayhave said that may have been
taken out of context, or thingsthat I may not have said, or
(54:04):
things that I may have watchedthat people are now attributing
to okay, things that I've said.
Like if I've if I watchsomething, right?
Network, or again, someone thatstreamed something and they said
something hateful, but I didn'tsay that, but now they're
attributing it to okay, she saidthis, or because she watched
(54:29):
this, that means that shesubscribes to that, you know,
idea, ideology, or whatever.
No.
With that being said, I do stillhold to what the Bible says.
(54:49):
You know, so while I'm notjudging, but you know, I I also
want to make sure that I am inalignment with what the word of
God says.
But even so, I think that Godcalls us to unity in Christ.
So that is the first thing.
Everything outside of that, thatis between you and God and not
(55:11):
me.
It's not me to say anything.
And there are algorithms outthere, there are scripts, code,
if then things that are beingrun that if I use the word
transformation automatically, ittriggers hateful things.
It triggers hateful things andmakes it seem like I'm
constantly talking about LGLGBTQ or people transitioning,
(55:35):
which is not true.
I'm a change manager, I dealwith digital transformation,
organizational change and justand organizational
transformation.
So I'm gonna talk abouttransformation, but you know
what happens every time I usethat word because of the
malicious code that's beingused, they try to trigger things
and say that okay, it makes itseem like I'm somewhat obsessed
(55:58):
with people's being, you know,transitioning or whatever it is
that that that's happening.
It's not true.
It's not true, it's a hoax.
It's a hoax, it's a hoax.
And yeah.
So but if I have at any pointsaid something that was hurtful,
(56:22):
any comment, look, y'all, I'msorry.
I'm sorry.
Forgive me.
And DM me, y'all.
If if if if you're truly hurt,if I've said something or
something was attributed to methat I said something that I
didn't, reach out.
(56:43):
Reach out.
Again, as I said before, I comefrom a very diverse upbringing.
I love cultures, I love people,I'm not prejudiced, and I think
this whole experience is ateachable moment for me.
And so sometimes we have blindspots.
(57:04):
So if there's anything that Ihave done or said that may have
portrayed me as someone that ishateful, racist, or prejudice,
please let me know because Icannot grow or learn from this
(57:25):
if you don't tell me.
Like I I I'm just getting a lotof hate and a lot of things and
being attacked, and I don't evenknow what I did or said.
And so I can't learn or changeif I don't know what I did or
what I said, right?
(57:45):
So it's all about constructivecriticism and calling people in
versus calling people out,right?
And you know, what is themotive?
What is the objective?
Is your objective to cause hurt,to harm, or is your objective to
help that person grow, right?
(58:07):
Because if you're callingsomeone a racist or whatever it
is that you're calling them, andthen you're basically turning
around and doing the same thing,you're inflicting pain, you're
targeting them, you know, you'rejust as bad, or even worse.
Okay?
So anyway, check out the threadon X.
(58:29):
It's the diary of a same blackwoman.
And again, the the handle forthe X AKA Twitter page is the
T-H-E Dire D I R E R I E O A S BW.
So the diary O A S B W.
(58:56):
Did I get that right?
It's T-H-E-D-I-R-ER-I-E-O-A-S-B-W.
Again, T H E D I R E R I E O A SB W.
So that's the handle for thediary of a same black woman on
(59:20):
X.
All right.
And so in closing, I want totalk about the ongoing reality,
right?
I want to talk about the firstsegment was about uprooting,
right?
Asking for forgiveness, removinglike this black shadow of, you
(59:41):
know, or black fog of hate, youknow.
But now we want to talk aboutongoing, the ongoing reality,
accountability and rebuilding.
And so I just want to say thisplainly, right?
Grace is often misunderstood,right?
(01:00:01):
So I want to say that my choiceto forgive, to seek forgiveness,
and to release bitterness doesnot remove accountability,
right?
And I've said this over and overagain, right?
I said it in the beginning ofthis recording, and I've said
this also in previous podcastsand posts.
(01:00:22):
Forgiving does not mean I stopdocumenting it.
Doesn't mean that I stoppeddocumenting people following me
around, people attacking me,documenting the smear campaign,
the misinformation, or seriousprivacy violations, right?
Privacy violations like intimatedetails being shared without my
(01:00:43):
consent, right?
There's a lot of things that arehappening.
Now, it what it does mean, itmeans that it does not mean
that.
So what it does mean is that Icontinue to report violations to
platforms or authorities whenneeded, right?
I'm still forgiving.
Like I don't, I don't hate youor I'm not harboring harboring
(01:01:06):
any feelings, any ill feelingstowards you.
But what I am doing is that I amdocumenting and reporting it to
protect myself.
As I'm recording here, there'slike a security guy flashing his
thing.
I don't know why.
I I I'm not really sure what'sgoing on, but it is what it is.
(01:01:29):
It doesn't mean that I'mlowering my boundaries or, you
know, I'm allowing the continuedaccess to poison my peace and my
space, right?
So you can forgive someone andstill have boundaries.
You can forgive someone andstill hold them accountable.
(01:01:50):
So forgiveness andaccountability are not enemies.
As the Bible shows us, Godforgives, but he also judges
righteously.
Joseph forgave his brothers, buthe still tested them and
protected himself.
Jesus said, Forgive them whilehanging on the cross.
(01:02:12):
Yet he also overturned tableswhen truth and justice demanded
it.
So yes, I released a hurt andcontinuous attacks from my
heart, and I truly pray for thehealing of whoever is partaking
in this.
But I also protect minefiercely.
(01:02:32):
I document, I report, I block, Ispeak, because self-respect is
not pride.
Protecting your peace is notunforgiveness, and silence in
the face of ongoing harm is nothumility.
So today I'm uprooting lies withtruth and light, and rebuilding
(01:02:57):
on solid ground, which is faith,wisdom, community, unapologetic
boundaries.
Psalm 37, 5 through 6 says,Commit your way to the Lord,
trust in him, and he will act.
He will bring forth yourrighteousness as the light and
(01:03:21):
your justice as the noonday sun.
And so I am trusting in him.
I'm walking free, and I'm stillstanding, shameless, forgiven,
protected, and whole.
And so if you're on this journeytoo, if you're forgiving while
still holding boundaries, knowyour scene.
(01:03:42):
You're strong and you'reobedient.
Share below if somethingresonated with you.
Again, I'm calling you guys inand not out.
I'm asking for forgiveness.
Again, I can't truly remedy thisif I don't know exactly what the
issue is or what was said thatmight have been hurtful.
(01:04:04):
Feel free to comment or, youknow, private message me and
comment a testimony of releasewith protection or whatever it
is.
Again, this is the diarie of asame black woman.
This is season two, episodenine.
We made it to episode nine,y'all.
(01:04:27):
Forgiveness doesn't meanforgetting or excusing harm, it
means freedom with wisdom.
And so in closing, I ask, Lord,have mercy.
Christ have mercy.
Thank you for listening.
Please subscribe, share if thisblessed you, and until the next
(01:04:48):
episode, and we will keepbuilding stronger, wiser
together.
Peace and blessings, family.
Thank you for listening to thediary of a sane black woman.
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