October 13, 2025 • 25 mins
Brain fog? No motivation? Can’t remember anything? You might be wondering — is it ADHD… or menopause? And what does either one have to do with chasing a dream?
In today’s solo episode, I’m unpacking what happens when estrogen drops, dopamine crashes, and your once-focused brain suddenly can’t finish a sentence — much less a creative project. I’ll also share my own experience with breast cancer and what it means to rebuild your rhythm when hormones aren’t an option.
If you’re stuck in the loop of starting, stopping, and self-sabotaging, this is your reminder: there’s nothing wrong with you. Your brain is asking for a new kind of support — and there are steps you can take.
KEY TAKE AWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE
1️⃣ You’re not broken — you’re navigating a real cognitive shift
2️⃣ Your old tools may not work anymore — and that doesn’t mean you’ve failed
3️⃣ Even without hormones or meds, you can still find your flow
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
The New Menopause by Dr. Mary Claire Haver
The Pause Life - Dr Mary Claire Haver website with more menopause resources
CHADD - ADHD Resources
Distracted Dreamer Episode 48: The Science of Recovery: How Your Nervous System Fuels Your Dreams
Check out all my coaching and course offerings - Coachcarlene.com
MORE FROM ME
Follow me on Instagram: @coach_carlene
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 3 (00:01):
You're never too busy, too tired, too old, or too
anything to pursue your dreams.
Welcome to the DistractedDreamer Podcast, where you'll
learn how to move all thosenever ending distractions aside
and chase your dreams withconfidence.
(00:21):
Hello.
Hello my friend.
Welcome back to The DistractedDreamer.
I'm your host Carlene, and ifthis is your first time here,
welcome to the DistractedDreamer family.
I love spending this time withyou, so find a quiet spot to
take this all in because Octoberis what I like to call the
trifecta of all trifectas.
(00:43):
It's a DHD awareness month.
It's Menopause Awareness Month,and it's also Breast Cancer
Awareness Month.
And we are talking about all ofit today because honestly, it
hasn't been talked about enough,and you are going to walk away
with a new understanding ofwhat's happening for you.
(01:03):
And I'm gonna share some toolsthat you can start using today
to get some relief.
And guess what?
This trifecta of A DHD,menopause and breast cancer, all
three have touched my life.
And I know I'm not the only one.
So if you've been staring atyour to-do list lately,
wondering why your brain feelslike it's buffering, your
(01:26):
energy's very unpredictable andyour motivation is just
completely disappeared.
I want you to know I see you andI feel your frustration and all
the things that go along withit.
Today's episode, it's reallypersonal for me because this
intersection of A DHD andmenopause, I've lived it.
(01:46):
And I remember when I hitmenopause, I was in my mid
forties and suddenly I was sad,I was exhausted, and I, I
couldn't remember anything and Iwas snapping at people and I was
wondering what the heck is wrongwith me?
And here's the funny thing.
I'm an A DHD coach.
(02:08):
I literally know all the signs,and yet I sat there thinking
night after night, oh my gosh,do I have a DHD?
How could I not know?
So I did what you're supposed todo.
I went to my gynecologist andasked for a hormone check.
He ended up doing an ultrasound.
(02:30):
And I'll never forget what hesaid as he was pointing at the
screen, you know, with all thecompassion, a man without
ovaries could muster.
He looked at the screen andsaid, well, your ovaries are
kind of like dried up fruit.
And he's sitting there pointingat it.
And I remember sitting therethinking, yeah, thanks.
I do see them, but what I don'tsee is why is this happening so
(02:52):
early, or what do I do about it?
So I left there feeling prettyhopeless.
I went home and I did what somany of us do.
I started Googling Dr.
Google, I Googled low estrogenbrain fog, sudden A DHD
symptoms.
And let me tell you, back thenthe information, it just wasn't
(03:14):
there.
Nothing explained what washappening to my brain, my
energy, or my sense of self.
And you know, which by the way,is still a problem to this day.
Women's health, especiallymenopause.
Our hormonal health is one ofthe most understudied,
underfunded, and neglected areasin healthcare.
(03:37):
And then I heard Dr.
Mary Claire haver say that theyare seeing menopause as the new
onset of A DHD.
And I was like, whoa, whoa,whoa.
Are you kidding me?
She is a board certifiedO-B-G-Y-N and menopause
practitioner.
She has become a leading voicein women's health and she
(03:59):
focuses on demystifyingmenopause through.
Her books.
She has a ton of onlineresources and she even has a
wellness clinic she is also theauthor of the number One New
York Times bestseller, the NewMenopause awesome book.
Go get it.
And she's known for her approachbecause it's an integrative
approach.
She integrates nutrition andexercise, stress reduction,
(04:23):
sleep and hormone therapy.
Go check her out, get her book,and follow her on Instagram.
As you can see with people likeDr.
Mary Claire, things are startingto shift.
More women, doctors, andresearchers are taking the reins
and asking better questions anddemanding better answers for us.
(04:44):
Now here's another layer of whythis is personal for me.
When menopause happens, ourestrogen drops and one of the
main treatments has been hormonereplacement therapy, or HRT If
you've never heard of it, nowyou have heard of it.
I remember I went to breakfastwith a friend, uh, last month
and she was telling me all thesesymptoms that she was having hot
(05:07):
flashes and brain fog and allthis stuff.
I mentioned HRT and she waslike, what's HRT?
She had no idea.
That really told me that wedon't talk about this enough.
We need to be talking aboutthis.
Every woman should know aboutwhat is out there.
So what HRT is is that's usuallya combination of estrogen and
progesterone that, uh, helpswith the deficit of those
(05:32):
hormones in our body once we hitmenopause.
And yes, I know what you'rethinking.
For a long time, there werestudies that wrongly told us
that HRT causes cancer, butthat's been largely debunked.
We know now that HRT doesn'tcause cancer, but here's where
it does get scary.
(05:52):
If there is already cancerpresent, especially if it's
estrogen or progesteronepositive cancer, HRT can make it
grow faster.
And that was me.
My breast cancer was estrogenand progesterone positive,
meaning that those hormones feedit.
I'm one of many women who can'ttake hormones, not even
(06:15):
testosterone, because itconverts to estrogen in the
body.
I never knew that.
If you wanna know how it feelsto have zero estrogen, zero
progesterone, and zerotestosterone, I always tell my
husband, I'm dead inside.
I got nothing.
And, and it's true.
That is how I feel.
And here's the problem.
I can't rely on hormones to helpme boost my dopamine or clear
(06:39):
the brain fog, or regulate mysleep, or stabilize my moods.
So I've had to explorealternative paths.
It's still an experiment andI'll share more in the future,
but for now, just know this.
If you're a breast cancersurvivor and you're in menopause
and your cancer was hormonepositive, I feel you deeply.
(07:03):
I am with you and I am prayingfor more options and better
treatments and some real relieffor all of us.
And I'm gonna share a fewresources in the show notes for
anyone else navigating thistricky combination.
So to answer your question, no,I don't have a DHD, but this
(07:23):
experience, it gave me so muchmore empathy for my clients, for
my friends, for the people Ilove who are living with A DHD
every day.
And it taught me that sometimeswhat we're feeling isn't a
personal failure.
It's actually a physiologicalshift that's happening.
(07:44):
That's what we're unpackingtoday.
We're gonna unpack why midlifecan feel like the onset of A
DHD.
We're gonna talk about what'sreally happening in our brains
and how all of this, thehormones, the distraction, the
fatigue, can disconnect us fromour dreams and what the heck to
(08:06):
do about it.
Let's start here.
If you've found yourselfthinking, why can't I remember
things anymore?
Or I used to be able to handleso much more.
You are absolutely not alone.
So many women in their fortiesand fifties describe a sense of
(08:27):
like this mental static, likeyour thoughts.
They're harder to organize.
Focus is very slippery.
Words they're just missing.
You can't find'em at all.
You're tired all the time, butyou're also wired at the same
time, and you're not sure ifit's burnout your hormones, or
maybe it is a DHD, or maybe it'ssomething else entirely.
(08:49):
But here's the twist.
Many of the cognitive symptomsof menopause and A DHD, they
overlap.
Things like having troubleconcentrating.
Or those memory lapses I justmentioned, or having executive
dysfunction, you know, where youcan't pay attention, you can't
organize things, you can'tinitiate any tasks.
(09:11):
Or how about emotionalreactivity?
Yeah, you blow things out ofproportion.
Are, are you crying and you haveno idea why or what about the
lack of sleep?
I can talk to that one.
Lack of sleep.
Sleep disruption is very, veryreal.
Now, these symptoms don't meanthat you have a DHD, but for
(09:32):
some women, menopause becomesthe moment where previously
subtle symptoms, things thatthey'd always chalked up to
being a little scattered orsensitive suddenly became.
Unmanageable, and that's whenthey finally get evaluated and
diagnosed.
Or others who were diagnosedearlier with A DHD are realizing
(09:55):
their meds or their routines,they aren't working like they
used to.
And that might be because theirhormones are shifting.
Here's what's happening underthe hood Estrogen, it's one of
the primary hormones that dropsduring perimenopause and
menopause, and it doesn't justaffect reproductive health.
(10:18):
It also supports dopamineproduction and regulation in the
brain.
So dopamine is one of our keyplayers in focus, attention, and
motivation.
It's also central to a DHD.
When you have a DHD, you eitherhave.
Low stores of dopamine in yourbrain, or the dopamine that you
(10:39):
have is very sluggish.
And so when estrogen starts todecline, as it naturally does in
our midlife, dopamine takes ahit too.
And suddenly the brain that usedto mostly keep it together is
like, Nope.
As menopause specialist, Dr.
(11:00):
Mary Claire puts it whenestrogen drops, dopamine skips a
beat.
And there's research that backsthat up.
One study looked at women goingthrough early menopause who were
experiencing new executivefunction issues, and they
responded positively to A DHDmedication.
(11:20):
Now, that doesn't mean everybodyneeds meds, but it does mean
that the cognitive struggle isreal.
It's chemical.
And by the way, it's not yourfault.
Here's where this gets realpersonal, because A, DH, D and
menopause, they don't just messwith our memory and our mood.
(11:41):
They mess with our momentum.
If you are someone with creativeideas or big goals, someone who
dreams about building a moreintentional life this season can
feel like a betrayal, right?
You feel like you're beingduped.
There's the obvious stuff, likeyou start things with
excitement, but then you abandonthem before you're even halfway
(12:03):
through, or you get overwhelmedby decisions.
Even little decisions like what?
Am I gonna wear it today?
Or you procrastinate?
Not because you don't care, butbecause your brain, it can't
organize what to do next and itgoes deeper.
So many of us are walking aroundwith mental fatigue, not just
(12:26):
tiredness, but you know, thatbone deep exhaustion where just
getting through the basics oflife, it feels like it's just
too much.
Like laundry, it can feel like amountain.
Or what about texting back afriend?
Like sometimes it feelsimpossible.
Like I always sit there and I'mlike, what do I say?
I have no idea.
(12:46):
Especially in group chatscompletely overwhelms me or
trying to prioritize yourdreams.
You know what?
I get it.
That feels laughable, but thenthe self-doubt creeps in, maybe
you're saying to yourself, Idon't even know what's important
anymore.
And then you tell yourself,well, even if I did, I don't
trust myself to follow through.
(13:08):
And then you think, how can Icommit to anything new when I
forget why I walked into a room?
And then maybe you say, everytime I try to start something I
don't finish, and I tell myself,see, there I go again.
I never finish anything.
(13:29):
Does any of that sound familiarto you?
It's a loop.
It's a cycle of startingstopping, and then finally
self-sabotaging.
And then don't forget, there arethe days that just feel flat or
sad, or maybe even low leveldepressed.
And the truth is, when you'redepressed, your dreams are the
(13:51):
last thing on your mind.
Not because you've given up onthem, but because your system is
in survival mode.
And I say this not to discourageyou, but to validate you.
Because if you've been blamingyourself and shaming yourself, I
want you to know that whatyou're feeling is real.
(14:13):
And it has roots like literallyin your brain and in your
hormones.
You are not lazy, you're notbeing flaky.
You are navigating a season ofmassive cognitive change and
your dreams, I'm gonna tell you,they're still in there.
They're just a little bitquieter right now, and they
(14:35):
haven't left you.
They might just need to beapproached in a different way.
More gentle now saying all that,I want you to know that there
are things you can do.
The first thing I encourage youto do is get support.
(14:58):
If you suspect A DHD, go getevaluated.
Medication becomes an optionafter diagnosis, and whether or
not you choose to medicate is avery personal decision, but that
first step, it matters manyprimary care doctors can
evaluate you, but it might notbe the most thorough route.
(15:21):
You can also seek out apsychiatrist, someone who
prescribes A DHD meds, and get amore comprehensive evaluation
there where they really do adeep dive into your executive
functions.
Now, if you don't have a DHD,but you're in your forties or
fifties and you're experiencinga DHD like symptoms.
Go to your doctor and getchecked for perimenopause or
(15:45):
menopause.
If you are in menopause.
That alone might explain somuch, and at that point, you and
your doctor can talk aboutoptions, whether that's HRT or
other treatments that supportyour cognitive and your
emotional health.
And if you're feeling anxious ordepressed, please consider
(16:05):
working with a therapist.
Ideally, someone who specializesin or understands A DHD, mental
health support matters.
And if you're doing okaymentally, but still feel like
you can't figure out how to getgoing or how to work with your
new brain in this stage of life,work with an A DHD coach.
(16:28):
Yes, even if you don't have anofficial diagnosis, but you're
navigating menopause andexperiencing a D like symptoms,
a coach can help you uncoverwhat works for you Now.
Today, not for your 20 or30-year-old brain, and in honor
of all the awareness months,we're celebrating this October,
(16:51):
the A DHD, menopause and BreastCancer.
I am opening five coaching slotson my calendar between now and
the end of the year.
If you are interested incoaching with me, just send a
text using the link in the shownotes that says Text Carlene.
Introduce yourself and leaveyour email and I'll reach out so
(17:13):
we can schedule a time to talkabout what you need in this
season of your life.
The second thing that you cando.
Is embrace rest and recovery.
This is so important.
If you haven't yet, go listen toepisode 48.
It's called The Science ofRecovery, how Your Nervous
(17:35):
System fuels your Dreams.
It'll help you understand whatreal nervous system calming
recovery looks like.
And if you struggle with guiltaround rest, or you tend to feel
bad for needing care in thefirst place, Check out episode
41.
Embracing self-care andrecovery.
(17:56):
Fuel your dreams and preventburnout.
Rest is not the reward, it's thefoundation.
It is a must.
Okay.
The third thing that you can dois to hack your dopamine.
Yeah, hack your dopamine.
There are things that you can doevery day to support dopamine,
(18:17):
that precious littleneurochemical that helps us feel
motivated, focused, and able tofollow through.
You have some control over that.
Here's what this looks likefirst, be aware of what is
called false dopamine.
These are things that feel goodin the moment, but leave you
feeling more drained,distracted, and depleted.
(18:39):
This is where false dopaminecomes from.
Scrolling.
Social media, mindlesslyreading, endless comment
threads.
How about snacking withoutthinking?
Ooh, how about that?
Impulse shopping?
Yeah.
Amazon online.
Yep, that's, that's where ithappens.
(19:00):
Oh, what about binge watchingfor hours or switching tabs
constantly on your computer?
Or how about all thosenotifications?
They are just nonstop andthey're just pinging you all day
long, turn off notifications, orwhat about the multitasking that
you're doing?
You think you're beingproductive, but it's actually
draining you.
(19:20):
So these all spike your dopaminefast and then drop it just as
quickly.
And that crash, that's whatleaves you foggy.
Unfocused, and like you're justfried.
So what you wanna do, you wantto focus on real dopamine
instead.
(19:41):
These are things that naturallybuild dopamine over time in
sustainable and nourishing ways.
Here are some real dopamineboosters taking a walk outside
the walking and the beingoutside.
Best combination ever fordopamine.
Finishing a task.
Yeah, we all get that high afterwe finish something, how about a
(20:03):
real conversation, not on socialmedia, not texting.
Make a phone call, hearsomeone's voice, let them hear
yours, or get together.
Live in person that boostdopamine.
How about exercising?
This is the number one go-to forfolks with A DHD.
This has more of an impact onyour dopamine than anything else
(20:26):
you can do if you exercise everyday, you are going to feel a
difference.
Not just physically, butmentally.
I'm telling you the days that Idon't work out, I usually work
out like four or five times aweek where I go someplace and I
have a formal exercise.
Class at Pure Bar.
In the days that I don't go, Ihave a different energy level.
(20:50):
Um, even if I'm taking the walkand moving throughout my day,
there's just nothing like thatactual exercise.
If you wanna change yourdopamine, start exercising.
Um, what about creatingsomething, right?
When we create something, oh mygosh, the dopamine just, it just
explodes, because we lovecreating things and then we can
(21:10):
see it also.
So it's.
This big accomplishment when wecreate something new or reading
a book.
Reading a book boosts dopaminealso, or learning a new skill.
Even cleaning up a space.
There's something about makingyour bed in the morning.
That's why I always tell people,make your bed in the morning.
You wanna know what it does.
(21:30):
First of all, it looks reallynice when your bed is made, but
it also says, Hey, I just didsomething.
I just accomplished somethingand that feels really good.
Here's a hit of dopamine.
Or you could try some deep, slowbreathing that also increases
your dopamine.
Here's another one that I don'tthink we talk about enough, is
(21:53):
keeping promises.
Yeah, we wanna keep promises toother people, but keeping
promises to yourself.
If you tell yourself that you'regonna do something, keep that
promise like you would keep itto somebody else.
Don't let yourself down.
Keep promises to yourself.
Um, journaling your thoughtsreally helps with boosting the
dopamine also.
And guess what else?
(22:15):
Helping someone else.
You know, I always wondered whydoes it feel so good after I get
off a coaching call with one ofmy clients?
It's because I just helpedsomeone and that feels good.
So if you wanna boost yourdopamine, go help someone.
It feels good.
Now, these don't just help yourfocus.
They reconnect you to yourmotivation and your momentum.
(22:38):
Let's say that you've figuredout what's causing your
symptoms, but medication isn'tan option for you.
Maybe it's not something youwant to try right now, or maybe
like me, you're not able to takesomething like HRT because of
hormone positive cancer.
I wanna be honest with you, noneof these tools will fix it.
None of them will fully replacethe relief that hormones or
(23:00):
medication might provide, butthey can help you work with your
energy and not against it on anygiven day.
And that in the season of life,that's really powerful.
Okay, so this has been a lot ofinformation today, and there's
more if you click the links inthe show notes.
(23:23):
But here's the most importantquestion.
What's your next step?
Are you going to listen to acouple more episodes on rest and
recovery that I mentioned?
Are you gonna make anappointment with a doctor to get
evaluated?
Maybe you wanna share thisepisode with someone and have a
(23:44):
conversation about what youmight want to do or what they
may want to do.
Or are you gonna text me tolearn more about coaching?
Go ahead and do that.
Or are you gonna take one smallstep today?
Like staying off of socialmedia?
Or going for a walk to takecharge of your dopamine.
(24:05):
I know there are a lot ofoptions for you, but it's
important that you make apromise to yourself right now,
because remember when you make apromise to yourself and you keep
the promise to yourself, that'sright.
You increase your dopamine.
So do something for yourself,because no one else can do it
(24:27):
for you.
Your energy may be shifting, butyour dreams, they're still
yours, and maybe they just needa little grace right now and a
little space to unfold in a waythat works for you.
Thank you so much for being herewith me, and if something in
this episode resonated with you,I'd love for you to share it
(24:48):
with a friend or send me a textmessage.
I always love hearing from you.
And until next time, please begentle with yourself.
I promise your dreams, they arestill in reach, and I can't wait
to welcome you into our nextconversation.
Bye for now.
Carlene (25:11):
Oh, and one more thing.
This is the legal language.
You know, the stuff that thelawyers put together, and they
say that I need to read this toyou.
So here we go.
This podcast is presented solelyfor educational and
entertainment purposes.
I'm just your friend.
I'm not a licensed therapist.
This podcast is not intended asa substitute for the advice of a
(25:33):
physician, professional coach,psychotherapist, or other
qualified professionals.
Got it?
Good.
I will see you in the nextepisode.
You're never too busy, too tired, too old, or too
anything to pursue your dreams.
Welcome to the DistractedDreamer Podcast, where you'll
learn how to move all thosenever ending distractions aside
and chase your dreams withconfidence.
(00:21):
Hello.
Hello my friend.
Welcome back to The DistractedDreamer.
I'm your host Carlene, and ifthis is your first time here,
welcome to the DistractedDreamer family.
I love spending this time withyou, so find a quiet spot to
take this all in because Octoberis what I like to call the
trifecta of all trifectas.
(00:43):
It's a DHD awareness month.
It's Menopause Awareness Month,and it's also Breast Cancer
Awareness Month.
And we are talking about all ofit today because honestly, it
hasn't been talked about enough,and you are going to walk away
with a new understanding ofwhat's happening for you.
(01:03):
And I'm gonna share some toolsthat you can start using today
to get some relief.
And guess what?
This trifecta of A DHD,menopause and breast cancer, all
three have touched my life.
And I know I'm not the only one.
So if you've been staring atyour to-do list lately,
wondering why your brain feelslike it's buffering, your
(01:26):
energy's very unpredictable andyour motivation is just
completely disappeared.
I want you to know I see you andI feel your frustration and all
the things that go along withit.
Today's episode, it's reallypersonal for me because this
intersection of A DHD andmenopause, I've lived it.
(01:46):
And I remember when I hitmenopause, I was in my mid
forties and suddenly I was sad,I was exhausted, and I, I
couldn't remember anything and Iwas snapping at people and I was
wondering what the heck is wrongwith me?
And here's the funny thing.
I'm an A DHD coach.
(02:08):
I literally know all the signs,and yet I sat there thinking
night after night, oh my gosh,do I have a DHD?
How could I not know?
So I did what you're supposed todo.
I went to my gynecologist andasked for a hormone check.
He ended up doing an ultrasound.
(02:30):
And I'll never forget what hesaid as he was pointing at the
screen, you know, with all thecompassion, a man without
ovaries could muster.
He looked at the screen andsaid, well, your ovaries are
kind of like dried up fruit.
And he's sitting there pointingat it.
And I remember sitting therethinking, yeah, thanks.
I do see them, but what I don'tsee is why is this happening so
(02:52):
early, or what do I do about it?
So I left there feeling prettyhopeless.
I went home and I did what somany of us do.
I started Googling Dr.
Google, I Googled low estrogenbrain fog, sudden A DHD
symptoms.
And let me tell you, back thenthe information, it just wasn't
(03:14):
there.
Nothing explained what washappening to my brain, my
energy, or my sense of self.
And you know, which by the way,is still a problem to this day.
Women's health, especiallymenopause.
Our hormonal health is one ofthe most understudied,
underfunded, and neglected areasin healthcare.
(03:37):
And then I heard Dr.
Mary Claire haver say that theyare seeing menopause as the new
onset of A DHD.
And I was like, whoa, whoa,whoa.
Are you kidding me?
She is a board certifiedO-B-G-Y-N and menopause
practitioner.
She has become a leading voicein women's health and she
(03:59):
focuses on demystifyingmenopause through.
Her books.
She has a ton of onlineresources and she even has a
wellness clinic she is also theauthor of the number One New
York Times bestseller, the NewMenopause awesome book.
Go get it.
And she's known for her approachbecause it's an integrative
approach.
She integrates nutrition andexercise, stress reduction,
(04:23):
sleep and hormone therapy.
Go check her out, get her book,and follow her on Instagram.
As you can see with people likeDr.
Mary Claire, things are startingto shift.
More women, doctors, andresearchers are taking the reins
and asking better questions anddemanding better answers for us.
(04:44):
Now here's another layer of whythis is personal for me.
When menopause happens, ourestrogen drops and one of the
main treatments has been hormonereplacement therapy, or HRT If
you've never heard of it, nowyou have heard of it.
I remember I went to breakfastwith a friend, uh, last month
and she was telling me all thesesymptoms that she was having hot
(05:07):
flashes and brain fog and allthis stuff.
I mentioned HRT and she waslike, what's HRT?
She had no idea.
That really told me that wedon't talk about this enough.
We need to be talking aboutthis.
Every woman should know aboutwhat is out there.
So what HRT is is that's usuallya combination of estrogen and
progesterone that, uh, helpswith the deficit of those
(05:32):
hormones in our body once we hitmenopause.
And yes, I know what you'rethinking.
For a long time, there werestudies that wrongly told us
that HRT causes cancer, butthat's been largely debunked.
We know now that HRT doesn'tcause cancer, but here's where
it does get scary.
(05:52):
If there is already cancerpresent, especially if it's
estrogen or progesteronepositive cancer, HRT can make it
grow faster.
And that was me.
My breast cancer was estrogenand progesterone positive,
meaning that those hormones feedit.
I'm one of many women who can'ttake hormones, not even
(06:15):
testosterone, because itconverts to estrogen in the
body.
I never knew that.
If you wanna know how it feelsto have zero estrogen, zero
progesterone, and zerotestosterone, I always tell my
husband, I'm dead inside.
I got nothing.
And, and it's true.
That is how I feel.
And here's the problem.
I can't rely on hormones to helpme boost my dopamine or clear
(06:39):
the brain fog, or regulate mysleep, or stabilize my moods.
So I've had to explorealternative paths.
It's still an experiment andI'll share more in the future,
but for now, just know this.
If you're a breast cancersurvivor and you're in menopause
and your cancer was hormonepositive, I feel you deeply.
(07:03):
I am with you and I am prayingfor more options and better
treatments and some real relieffor all of us.
And I'm gonna share a fewresources in the show notes for
anyone else navigating thistricky combination.
So to answer your question, no,I don't have a DHD, but this
(07:23):
experience, it gave me so muchmore empathy for my clients, for
my friends, for the people Ilove who are living with A DHD
every day.
And it taught me that sometimeswhat we're feeling isn't a
personal failure.
It's actually a physiologicalshift that's happening.
(07:44):
That's what we're unpackingtoday.
We're gonna unpack why midlifecan feel like the onset of A
DHD.
We're gonna talk about what'sreally happening in our brains
and how all of this, thehormones, the distraction, the
fatigue, can disconnect us fromour dreams and what the heck to
(08:06):
do about it.
Let's start here.
If you've found yourselfthinking, why can't I remember
things anymore?
Or I used to be able to handleso much more.
You are absolutely not alone.
So many women in their fortiesand fifties describe a sense of
(08:27):
like this mental static, likeyour thoughts.
They're harder to organize.
Focus is very slippery.
Words they're just missing.
You can't find'em at all.
You're tired all the time, butyou're also wired at the same
time, and you're not sure ifit's burnout your hormones, or
maybe it is a DHD, or maybe it'ssomething else entirely.
(08:49):
But here's the twist.
Many of the cognitive symptomsof menopause and A DHD, they
overlap.
Things like having troubleconcentrating.
Or those memory lapses I justmentioned, or having executive
dysfunction, you know, where youcan't pay attention, you can't
organize things, you can'tinitiate any tasks.
(09:11):
Or how about emotionalreactivity?
Yeah, you blow things out ofproportion.
Are, are you crying and you haveno idea why or what about the
lack of sleep?
I can talk to that one.
Lack of sleep.
Sleep disruption is very, veryreal.
Now, these symptoms don't meanthat you have a DHD, but for
(09:32):
some women, menopause becomesthe moment where previously
subtle symptoms, things thatthey'd always chalked up to
being a little scattered orsensitive suddenly became.
Unmanageable, and that's whenthey finally get evaluated and
diagnosed.
Or others who were diagnosedearlier with A DHD are realizing
(09:55):
their meds or their routines,they aren't working like they
used to.
And that might be because theirhormones are shifting.
Here's what's happening underthe hood Estrogen, it's one of
the primary hormones that dropsduring perimenopause and
menopause, and it doesn't justaffect reproductive health.
(10:18):
It also supports dopamineproduction and regulation in the
brain.
So dopamine is one of our keyplayers in focus, attention, and
motivation.
It's also central to a DHD.
When you have a DHD, you eitherhave.
Low stores of dopamine in yourbrain, or the dopamine that you
(10:39):
have is very sluggish.
And so when estrogen starts todecline, as it naturally does in
our midlife, dopamine takes ahit too.
And suddenly the brain that usedto mostly keep it together is
like, Nope.
As menopause specialist, Dr.
(11:00):
Mary Claire puts it whenestrogen drops, dopamine skips a
beat.
And there's research that backsthat up.
One study looked at women goingthrough early menopause who were
experiencing new executivefunction issues, and they
responded positively to A DHDmedication.
(11:20):
Now, that doesn't mean everybodyneeds meds, but it does mean
that the cognitive struggle isreal.
It's chemical.
And by the way, it's not yourfault.
Here's where this gets realpersonal, because A, DH, D and
menopause, they don't just messwith our memory and our mood.
(11:41):
They mess with our momentum.
If you are someone with creativeideas or big goals, someone who
dreams about building a moreintentional life this season can
feel like a betrayal, right?
You feel like you're beingduped.
There's the obvious stuff, likeyou start things with
excitement, but then you abandonthem before you're even halfway
(12:03):
through, or you get overwhelmedby decisions.
Even little decisions like what?
Am I gonna wear it today?
Or you procrastinate?
Not because you don't care, butbecause your brain, it can't
organize what to do next and itgoes deeper.
So many of us are walking aroundwith mental fatigue, not just
(12:26):
tiredness, but you know, thatbone deep exhaustion where just
getting through the basics oflife, it feels like it's just
too much.
Like laundry, it can feel like amountain.
Or what about texting back afriend?
Like sometimes it feelsimpossible.
Like I always sit there and I'mlike, what do I say?
I have no idea.
(12:46):
Especially in group chatscompletely overwhelms me or
trying to prioritize yourdreams.
You know what?
I get it.
That feels laughable, but thenthe self-doubt creeps in, maybe
you're saying to yourself, Idon't even know what's important
anymore.
And then you tell yourself,well, even if I did, I don't
trust myself to follow through.
(13:08):
And then you think, how can Icommit to anything new when I
forget why I walked into a room?
And then maybe you say, everytime I try to start something I
don't finish, and I tell myself,see, there I go again.
I never finish anything.
(13:29):
Does any of that sound familiarto you?
It's a loop.
It's a cycle of startingstopping, and then finally
self-sabotaging.
And then don't forget, there arethe days that just feel flat or
sad, or maybe even low leveldepressed.
And the truth is, when you'redepressed, your dreams are the
(13:51):
last thing on your mind.
Not because you've given up onthem, but because your system is
in survival mode.
And I say this not to discourageyou, but to validate you.
Because if you've been blamingyourself and shaming yourself, I
want you to know that whatyou're feeling is real.
(14:13):
And it has roots like literallyin your brain and in your
hormones.
You are not lazy, you're notbeing flaky.
You are navigating a season ofmassive cognitive change and
your dreams, I'm gonna tell you,they're still in there.
They're just a little bitquieter right now, and they
(14:35):
haven't left you.
They might just need to beapproached in a different way.
More gentle now saying all that,I want you to know that there
are things you can do.
The first thing I encourage youto do is get support.
(14:58):
If you suspect A DHD, go getevaluated.
Medication becomes an optionafter diagnosis, and whether or
not you choose to medicate is avery personal decision, but that
first step, it matters manyprimary care doctors can
evaluate you, but it might notbe the most thorough route.
(15:21):
You can also seek out apsychiatrist, someone who
prescribes A DHD meds, and get amore comprehensive evaluation
there where they really do adeep dive into your executive
functions.
Now, if you don't have a DHD,but you're in your forties or
fifties and you're experiencinga DHD like symptoms.
Go to your doctor and getchecked for perimenopause or
(15:45):
menopause.
If you are in menopause.
That alone might explain somuch, and at that point, you and
your doctor can talk aboutoptions, whether that's HRT or
other treatments that supportyour cognitive and your
emotional health.
And if you're feeling anxious ordepressed, please consider
(16:05):
working with a therapist.
Ideally, someone who specializesin or understands A DHD, mental
health support matters.
And if you're doing okaymentally, but still feel like
you can't figure out how to getgoing or how to work with your
new brain in this stage of life,work with an A DHD coach.
(16:28):
Yes, even if you don't have anofficial diagnosis, but you're
navigating menopause andexperiencing a D like symptoms,
a coach can help you uncoverwhat works for you Now.
Today, not for your 20 or30-year-old brain, and in honor
of all the awareness months,we're celebrating this October,
(16:51):
the A DHD, menopause and BreastCancer.
I am opening five coaching slotson my calendar between now and
the end of the year.
If you are interested incoaching with me, just send a
text using the link in the shownotes that says Text Carlene.
Introduce yourself and leaveyour email and I'll reach out so
(17:13):
we can schedule a time to talkabout what you need in this
season of your life.
The second thing that you cando.
Is embrace rest and recovery.
This is so important.
If you haven't yet, go listen toepisode 48.
It's called The Science ofRecovery, how Your Nervous
(17:35):
System fuels your Dreams.
It'll help you understand whatreal nervous system calming
recovery looks like.
And if you struggle with guiltaround rest, or you tend to feel
bad for needing care in thefirst place, Check out episode
41.
Embracing self-care andrecovery.
(17:56):
Fuel your dreams and preventburnout.
Rest is not the reward, it's thefoundation.
It is a must.
Okay.
The third thing that you can dois to hack your dopamine.
Yeah, hack your dopamine.
There are things that you can doevery day to support dopamine,
(18:17):
that precious littleneurochemical that helps us feel
motivated, focused, and able tofollow through.
You have some control over that.
Here's what this looks likefirst, be aware of what is
called false dopamine.
These are things that feel goodin the moment, but leave you
feeling more drained,distracted, and depleted.
(18:39):
This is where false dopaminecomes from.
Scrolling.
Social media, mindlesslyreading, endless comment
threads.
How about snacking withoutthinking?
Ooh, how about that?
Impulse shopping?
Yeah.
Amazon online.
Yep, that's, that's where ithappens.
(19:00):
Oh, what about binge watchingfor hours or switching tabs
constantly on your computer?
Or how about all thosenotifications?
They are just nonstop andthey're just pinging you all day
long, turn off notifications, orwhat about the multitasking that
you're doing?
You think you're beingproductive, but it's actually
draining you.
(19:20):
So these all spike your dopaminefast and then drop it just as
quickly.
And that crash, that's whatleaves you foggy.
Unfocused, and like you're justfried.
So what you wanna do, you wantto focus on real dopamine
instead.
(19:41):
These are things that naturallybuild dopamine over time in
sustainable and nourishing ways.
Here are some real dopamineboosters taking a walk outside
the walking and the beingoutside.
Best combination ever fordopamine.
Finishing a task.
Yeah, we all get that high afterwe finish something, how about a
(20:03):
real conversation, not on socialmedia, not texting.
Make a phone call, hearsomeone's voice, let them hear
yours, or get together.
Live in person that boostdopamine.
How about exercising?
This is the number one go-to forfolks with A DHD.
This has more of an impact onyour dopamine than anything else
(20:26):
you can do if you exercise everyday, you are going to feel a
difference.
Not just physically, butmentally.
I'm telling you the days that Idon't work out, I usually work
out like four or five times aweek where I go someplace and I
have a formal exercise.
Class at Pure Bar.
In the days that I don't go, Ihave a different energy level.
(20:50):
Um, even if I'm taking the walkand moving throughout my day,
there's just nothing like thatactual exercise.
If you wanna change yourdopamine, start exercising.
Um, what about creatingsomething, right?
When we create something, oh mygosh, the dopamine just, it just
explodes, because we lovecreating things and then we can
(21:10):
see it also.
So it's.
This big accomplishment when wecreate something new or reading
a book.
Reading a book boosts dopaminealso, or learning a new skill.
Even cleaning up a space.
There's something about makingyour bed in the morning.
That's why I always tell people,make your bed in the morning.
You wanna know what it does.
(21:30):
First of all, it looks reallynice when your bed is made, but
it also says, Hey, I just didsomething.
I just accomplished somethingand that feels really good.
Here's a hit of dopamine.
Or you could try some deep, slowbreathing that also increases
your dopamine.
Here's another one that I don'tthink we talk about enough, is
(21:53):
keeping promises.
Yeah, we wanna keep promises toother people, but keeping
promises to yourself.
If you tell yourself that you'regonna do something, keep that
promise like you would keep itto somebody else.
Don't let yourself down.
Keep promises to yourself.
Um, journaling your thoughtsreally helps with boosting the
dopamine also.
And guess what else?
(22:15):
Helping someone else.
You know, I always wondered whydoes it feel so good after I get
off a coaching call with one ofmy clients?
It's because I just helpedsomeone and that feels good.
So if you wanna boost yourdopamine, go help someone.
It feels good.
Now, these don't just help yourfocus.
They reconnect you to yourmotivation and your momentum.
(22:38):
Let's say that you've figuredout what's causing your
symptoms, but medication isn'tan option for you.
Maybe it's not something youwant to try right now, or maybe
like me, you're not able to takesomething like HRT because of
hormone positive cancer.
I wanna be honest with you, noneof these tools will fix it.
None of them will fully replacethe relief that hormones or
(23:00):
medication might provide, butthey can help you work with your
energy and not against it on anygiven day.
And that in the season of life,that's really powerful.
Okay, so this has been a lot ofinformation today, and there's
more if you click the links inthe show notes.
(23:23):
But here's the most importantquestion.
What's your next step?
Are you going to listen to acouple more episodes on rest and
recovery that I mentioned?
Are you gonna make anappointment with a doctor to get
evaluated?
Maybe you wanna share thisepisode with someone and have a
(23:44):
conversation about what youmight want to do or what they
may want to do.
Or are you gonna text me tolearn more about coaching?
Go ahead and do that.
Or are you gonna take one smallstep today?
Like staying off of socialmedia?
Or going for a walk to takecharge of your dopamine.
(24:05):
I know there are a lot ofoptions for you, but it's
important that you make apromise to yourself right now,
because remember when you make apromise to yourself and you keep
the promise to yourself, that'sright.
You increase your dopamine.
So do something for yourself,because no one else can do it
(24:27):
for you.
Your energy may be shifting, butyour dreams, they're still
yours, and maybe they just needa little grace right now and a
little space to unfold in a waythat works for you.
Thank you so much for being herewith me, and if something in
this episode resonated with you,I'd love for you to share it
(24:48):
with a friend or send me a textmessage.
I always love hearing from you.
And until next time, please begentle with yourself.
I promise your dreams, they arestill in reach, and I can't wait
to welcome you into our nextconversation.
Bye for now.
Carlene (25:11):
Oh, and one more thing.
This is the legal language.
You know, the stuff that thelawyers put together, and they
say that I need to read this toyou.
So here we go.
This podcast is presented solelyfor educational and
entertainment purposes.
I'm just your friend.
I'm not a licensed therapist.
This podcast is not intended asa substitute for the advice of a
(25:33):
physician, professional coach,psychotherapist, or other
qualified professionals.
Got it?
Good.
I will see you in the nextepisode.
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