March 18, 2022 • 20 mins
The host, Femi the Divine, discusses birthday blessings, how to avoid birthday blues, intention setting, celebrating yourself, and truly enjoying your solar return.
Topics Discussed - birthday, holidays, celebrations, champagne, setting intentions, intention setting, joy, peace, happiness, self care, self love, living your best life, ritual, creating rituals, pampering yourself, traveling, etc.
Contact info - Femi the Divine
IG @divinehealingpodcast
www.thedivinehealingpodcast.com
femithedivine@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to the divine healingpodcast, where we discuss inner
healing, work spirituality, andpushing yourself to live your
very best life.
I'm your host family, thedivine.
If this is your first timelistening, thank you for pushing
the play button.
And if you're a returninglistener, thank you for joining
us again.
So this week I'm going to do alittle bit of something
different.
(00:22):
It's an alignment with some ofthe things that we talk about on
the show here, but today'sepisode is going to be a bit
short, I guess it would beconsidered a mini-sode.
But before I get into today'stopic, I want to say thank you
to everyone who has reached outto me and provided amazing
feedback to let me know thatyou're listening to the show,
you're enjoying the content,you're learning things, and you
can relate to what I'm talking.
(00:43):
Thank you to everyone who hasreached out with feedback.
If you've reached out to medirectly via text message,
email, Instagram, Facebook,wherever it is.
Thank you all for listening.
It warms my heart to know thatyou all are finding something
valuable in the information thatI'm sharing.
So I had a birthday two weeksago.
My birthday was on three, three.
(01:04):
I am a Pisces through andthrough, and I was blessed to
turn 36.
On 3, 3 22.
So that's exactly what I want totalk about today, birthday
blessings.
So I know for a lot of folks,birthdays can be a bit
difficult.
We think about birthdays as alot of times, they're starting a
new chapter.
So a couple episodes ago wherewe talked about the new year and
(01:26):
setting intentions, I talkedabout how sometimes a lot of
people set their intentionsversus okay.
We do that whole new year'sresolution thing.
But then for some folks, theirnew year where they set their
intentions, it's actually theirbirthday because it's the
beginning of a new chapter.
You're making your solar returnor another year around the sun
(01:46):
as people like to say, but it's,it's, it's a fresh start for a
lot of folks and that doesn'thave to be on January one.
It can be on your birthday.
Really.
It can be on any day you want itto be, but I know I've always.
New year, new me, that wholething.
But then I also have things thatI want to accomplish as it
relates to me moving into thenext year of my life, into the
(02:06):
next chapter.
So this year will be chapterthree.
But on the flip side of that,what happens is a lot of times,
as we get close to our birthday,a lot of folks experience what's
called birthday blues.
I don't know that was somethingI experienced for years.
I think this year, it may belast year when I turned 35 or
the first two years where Ihonestly felt like I'm good, I'm
(02:28):
in a good place.
I'm feeling content with where Iam.
And the reason that happens is alot of times, as we get closer
to our birthday, it's a reminderthat another year has been.
And maybe we haven'taccomplished all of the things
that we wanted to in the pastyear.
Maybe it's a milestone birthday.
Maybe it's dirty 30.
Maybe it's.
I don't know if there'ssomething for 35.
(02:50):
I think my hashtag was 30 fine,but I think I made that up.
But 40 is normally a big one.
I remember 25 being a big oneand a lot of folks do that whole
quarter life crisis thing around25.
And normally from millennials,30 is a big one.
There may be 40 as you getolder, 50 and so on and so
forth.
If you're a blessed to see thoseyears, because let's be real
about it.
Everybody is not blessed withthe ability to grow old and the
(03:14):
society that we live.
But you may actually begin tofeel sad as you approach your
birthday from an astrologicalstandpoint, there's a period of
time before you get to your dayof birth, where that is the
lowest point of the astrologicalchart.
And it's because you arecompleting a cycle.
So it's that last little bitbefore it turns over and start
again, I'm not an astrologer,but that's something that I've
(03:36):
read and I've come to understandon a basic.
So it makes sense that folks maybe kind of feeling low as you
are approaching that, solarreturn, but you may be thinking
about all the things that youdidn't accomplish in that past
year.
You may be thinking about, ohman, I'm going to be 30.
And I thought I would be so muchfurther along, or I thought I
(03:56):
would be here and I'm not.
And I know a lot of times we getcaught up in.
People's highlight reels.
We see everybody on social mediaand they appear to be doing so
well and so wonderful.
And they're buying houses andcars and they're getting married
and they're have their familiesand their businesses.
And that's not to say that thosethings aren't true because for
(04:17):
many people they are, but alsokeep in mind that a lot of times
we only see the high points inpeople's lives.
And they may or may notbroadcast the lows.
Now I do know some folks on mytimeline who broadcast the lows
as well as the highest, but Imean, that's be realistic about
it.
Most people only are sharingtheir good news and their high
points.
So that's why we describe it asa highlight reel.
(04:37):
You never really know what'sgoing on in somebody's life.
You never really know what'sgoing on behind closed doors.
They could be putting onappearances, trying to make
themselves look better for thegram.
That's why you have to takeeverything that you see with a
grain of salt.
'cause you could be sitting overhere.
Upset tag, man.
I thought, you know, so-and-sowas doing this and this and
this, and you really don't evenknow if that's the case.
Don't get caught up.
(04:58):
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Do not let it still yours.
You want to compare.
Yourself to somebody, compareyourself to yourself, prepare
yourself to where you werebefore.
And if you're not where it isthat you want to be, okay, don't
feel bad about it.
Let's take a step back reassessand think about what things we
need to do to get where it isthat we want to go from.
(05:21):
Nowhere.
It is that we want to go wherewe need to take some time to sit
back and figure that out aswell.
Sometimes we worry about.
Maybe, we don't have any plans.
I mean, we don't have any moneyor maybe, we don't have any
friends around to spend ourbirthday with or a family.
We may be worried about spendingit alone.
Some folks may appreciate takinga self care day and spending
(05:42):
their birthday by themselves.
But I think in our society, wethink birthday, we think party,
we think celebration.
So that translates to beingsocial and being social.
It can be a variety of things wemay be thinking about just the
number, we may be sanding andwell damn, I'm getting old.
I'm getting the before.
(06:03):
There's a wide variety ofreasons why you may be
experiencing birthday blues.
You could be thinking about pastbirthdays that went horrible or
date birthdays.
You didn't get what it was thatyou wanted out of it.
Maybe growing up birthdays werenot a memorable experience for
you.
But remember, as an adult, youhave the power to change your
life.
You can change it into anythingthat you want to change it into.
(06:26):
So, what I want to talk abouttoday is, if you're a person who
normally experienced hisbirthday blues, or you found
yourself in that place, which Ifound myself in that place in
plenty of years past, we'regoing to talk about what you do
to change it.
We're going to talk about howyou shift your mindset as it
relates to your birthday.
So as opposed to thinking aboutit as, okay, I'm coming up on
(06:47):
another year and I haven'taccomplished this and that.
Well, let's think about all ofthe things that you're going to
accomplish in this new year,because your birthday is a fresh
start.
That's the first thing we'regoing to do.
Think about it as a fresh start,because it is, it's a fresh
start.
It's a new chapter in the book.
You're turning a new page.
So if last year didn't go sogreat or didn't go the way you
(07:08):
wanted it to what are we goingto do?
What are you going to do in thisnext year to change it so that
you'll have a better outcome.
Sit down and think about that.
Write in your journal, reflectabout it.
If there are things that youneed to do, maybe you want to
start a business.
Maybe you want to learn a newhobby, take some classes, do
some research, start to getthings in place so that you can
(07:29):
prepare to be successful in yournew.
Remember that your birthday is atime to celebrate.
Now, the way that you choose tocelebrate may not be the way
that somebody else chooses tocelebrate.
I'm a Pisces.
We like to party.
Usually if it's my birthday, I'mgoing to roll up in a sequined
dress with Tiara on and I'mgoing to want to drink champagne
(07:50):
and eat all of the foods.
That's what I like to do thatdoes not mean that that's how
you have to celebrate yourbirthday.
Some people may want to go onvacation.
I know with COVID, we haven'treally been able to do that.
That was something that I wantedto do.
I wanted to go on a vacation andthen do all of the things that I
previously described while onthe vacation.
(08:10):
But unfortunately with COVID,you know, restrictions and
things like that, and just, menot.
Feeling comfortable travelingout of the country for my own
safety.
That was something that got puton the back burner this year, as
well as last year, last yearwhen I turned 35, I opted to
book a hotel room.
So I did a staycation thing anda couple of my girlfriends came
over and we had a little party,only invited a few people
(08:32):
because again, COVID but I had agood time.
I wore my favorite color.
If you know me, you know, whenin doubt wear pink.
Forever faith.
And we got dressed up.
We all wore pink and we poppedbottles and we had charcuterie
boards and we have food in theroom, was the room was nice.
I bought the really nice suite.
And we had a good time celebrateyour birthday in the way that it
(08:55):
is that you want to celebrateit.
If you want to invite otherpeople, feel free to invite
them.
Don't sit around and wait forsomebody else to plan something.
That was the mistake that I madeearlier and probably in my late
twenties and early thirties,sitting around, waiting on
everybody else, you might end upwith nothing, take charge.
If you know that you're going togo about set up something, I
(09:16):
would set up a birthday dinner.
Or I usually like to go tobrunch.
And I sent out an invite to myfriends and whoever came came,
and we had a good time somethingI used to do in my early
twenties was I would spend theday pampering myself.
So that day was for me and Iwould go and I would get my hair
done and I would get my nailsdone.
I would go out to lunch or go todinner, or sometimes, someone
would take me out as a treat formy birthday.
(09:38):
Sometimes I would go by myself.
But that was just something thatI chose to do on that day.
Now that I'm a little bit older,I find that I don't want to
spend all day in the nail salonand there's a lot on my birthday
cause y'all know that can takeall day long.
So I usually do those things inthe days leading up to it, but I
still, maybe do my brunch thing.
The past few years, I've beengoing to the spa on my birthday.
So doing a different type ofpampering, having a massage,
(10:00):
having a facial, having a bodyscrub, having lunch there, doing
the whole spa day thing.
So that's been my favorite thingto do.
I didn't do it last year becausethe COVID, I didn't feel
comfortable, but the.
A few years, that was somethingthat I did.
And that was what I opted to dothis year.
I went to the spa and I satthere peacefully and quietly by
myself with my thoughts.
And I relaxed turned my phoneoff.
(10:22):
I just enjoy the peace, thequiet and the solitude celebrate
your birthday.
However it is that you want topeople are not mind readers.
If there's something that youreally wanted you, if you want
to do it by yourself, go aheadand set it up.
If you want to do it with someother folks.
Invite them as a group.
If folks want to take you outand do things with you or have a
party or whatever, they can dothat in addition to, but you
(10:46):
take charge of the situation anddecide how you will celebrate
your birthday in a way thatpleases you and will make you
the most happy and make you feelgood.
Something different that I didthis year was I actually set an
into.
So set an intention for how youwrote your birthday to go.
I set an intention.
I spoken incantation over mycandles and my incantation and
(11:09):
started with my 36th birthdaywas beautiful.
And then there was some otherstuff that I wrote after that.
And I don't remember off the topof my head right now, but it
was, and I had a great time.
I did all the things that Iwanted to do and anybody else
who wanted to spend time withme, they only enhanced what I
already had planned.
(11:33):
I spoke up about what I wantedto do.
I wanted to go to brunch.
So someone made lunchreservations and I went, we did
that.
I wanted to go out for drinksand for dinner.
So a good friend of mine, hemade arrangements for that.
We went and we did that.
One of my coworkers took me outto happy hour.
She wanted to go out andcelebrate.
And so we went and we did that.
Normally.
(11:53):
I spend the day at the spot.
So I did that that day and Itreated myself to dinner that
evening at a restaurant close bythe spa that I normally like to
go to when I'm in that area, Itreated myself to dinner on that
particular day.
And then I came home andarrested.
Cause I was tired after the spa.
It was good and relaxed, I wentto someone else's birthday
party.
One of my coworkers, herbirthday was the day before
mine.
She had a birthday party duringthat weekend.
(12:15):
And I went to that and I had agreat time, but I set the
intention.
That my birthday was going to bebeautiful.
I set the intention when I spokeit, I spoke it as if it had
already happened and it trulycame to fruition.
Maybe that's something differentthan you want to try set an
intention.
You can set it to differentanything in life.
It doesn't even have to just beyour birthday.
(12:36):
We've talked about this over andover in these episodes, you set
your intentions for what it isthat you wish to accomplish.
The next thing you may want totry, create an annual birthday
ritual.
I talked about how I like to goto the spa, but maybe there's
something that you want to doevery single year.
One thing for me was to go tobrunch.
(12:57):
There's a particular restauranthere in town that I like called
me.
Shirley's I go there, usually onmy birthday for breakfast.
Sometimes someone goes with me.
Sometimes I go by myself,depends on how I'm feeling that
year I go and I.
You don't have to do this, but Ialways order the same thing.
I go there for a buy you omelet.
It has shrimp.
It has andouille sausage.
I go there.
I have a buy your omelet withgrids and I'm a Mosa.
(13:22):
That's my annual birthday ritualevery year.
Find something that can be anannual birthday ritual for you.
Like I mentioned a moment ago,maybe it's getting your hair
done, getting your nails done,whatever, whatever it is,
something that is meaningful toyou.
Maybe it's trying something newor somewhere you've never been
maybe trying a new restaurant.
Maybe it's gone on a trip tosomewhere.
(13:44):
You've never been create abirthday ritual, put it in
place, planning in advance foryour.
You already had plans.
Everything is mapped out.
It'll go smoothly.
You'll have a good time.
Maybe it's just spending timewith your family and your
(14:04):
friends.
There's a wide variety of waysto do that.
I know in my family, we alwayswent out for birthdays.
No matter whose birthday it was,we always went out to.
From childhood up until now, Iwent out to dinner.
I went out to brunch with myparents this year.
It was my dad's birthday, too.
We went out to brunch.
In past years, you know, we'vegone out to dinner.
It just depends on the timingand the situation.
But my family birthdays werealways a big deal.
(14:26):
So we always went out foreverybody's birthday.
Another thing that is fun to doon your birthday, take advantage
of birthday freebies.
A lot of times you sign up formailing lists for stuff, and
then you get something free foryour birthday.
Like Starbucks gives you a freecoffee.
I know don't get donuts, sendyou a free coffee.
(14:46):
I think Panera send you apastry.
Cold stone gives you a free icecream.
There are all kinds of thingsthat you can sign up for.
I know there's a listcirculating around the web
because I remember seeing itbefore I signing up for all of
those things.
But take advantage of birthdayfreebies.
You can go out and have lunch,get you a snack, get your
coffee, get your ice cream,whatever, just because it's your
(15:07):
birthday.
Just remember.
And I know this episode is kindof lighthearted and I might
sound like I'm all over theplace, but just to remember.
That your birthday is your ownpersonal holiday.
Treat it as such spend that day,doing whatever it is that you
(15:28):
want to do.
If you work, maybe take the dayoff.
I never, ever, ever work on mybirthday.
I always take that day off.
Even if I took it off this athome, as you know, I'm not
working that day.
I get one day at a 365 days.
That is personal to me.
So I'm going to spend it howeverit is that I want to spend it.
(15:48):
If that means shore my ass andturn it up, there are lots of
what it means.
If it means sitting in solitudeand getting some rest, it can
mean that too.
It is your own personal health.
Spend it the way that you wantto spend it.
I spent so many years and pastyears being disappointed and
being upset because I hadexpectations of other people on
my birthday.
(16:08):
I expected my husband to docertain things.
I expected my family to docertain things and then opposite
left sitting disappointed andupset because I didn't take
charge of the day and celebrateit the way that I wanted to
don't allow yourself to fallinto birthday blues.
Every birthday is a blessing.
We don't know if we're going tomake it to our next birthday.
(16:29):
One thing we've learned throughCOVID I think is life is too
short.
Too many people have left herein this past two years and they
probably did not imagine thatthis would have happened.
Every birthday is a blessing.
Every day above ground is ablessing.
(16:49):
You get one day to celebrate theday that you were born.
So that's exactly what.
Celebrate it, however you seefit, whatever that means to you,
whatever makes you happy.
I'm going to run down the tipsreal quick.
Again.
(17:11):
Look at it as a fresh start, asa blank slate as a new chapter,
be optimistic, be positive andlook forward to the things
you're going to accomplish inyour new year.
Be happy.
Don't worry about all of thethings that you didn't
accomplish and how old you arebe happy because every birthday
is a blessing.
(17:31):
So celebrate each and every one.
Think about setting an intentionfor your birthday plan, things
in advance and do what it isthat you want to do.
Maybe try creating an annualbirthday ritual, but most
(17:52):
important.
Have fun and enjoy yourself.
So I know today's episode is alittle different than what we
normally discuss, but you know,it's Pacey season and anybody
who knows me knows I'm alwayshere for Pisces party.
My birthday is my favoriteholiday next to new year's Eve.
And at this point in my life,I'm going to spend it doing the
(18:15):
things that are.
Last year, I remember having anepiphany about finally feeling
like, it was my first birthdayalone after separating from my
husband and finally feeling likeI'm content with where I am.
I'm happy.
I'm at peace.
And I'm looking forward to what35 will bring.
(18:36):
And this year was even betterand amazing.
Because I made the decision tocelebrate myself in the way that
I saw fit.
So I'm sharing this message withyou all so that you can do the
(18:57):
same.
Don't get caught up in birthday.
Blues COVID seems to be rampingdown, so we'll have more options
and opportunities available to,as I know, some of us.
Probably two, maybe three COVIDbirthdays, where options were
limited.
I know the first year, rightbefore it happens, I remember
going out to brunch with mygirlfriends that Sunday on the
(19:18):
eighth, and then the 15th Iworked at the bar always worked
on Sundays for the day party.
And that was the last day Iworked because on the 16th that
Monday, everything shut down.
Last year I talked about, I didthis vacation and this year I
did a variety of things.
I didn't go and vacate like Iwanted to, but that's not right
because next year will be.
Once again, thank you all forlistening.
(19:40):
I hope you found this episodeuplifting and it was little
different than what I normallydo, but thank you for listening.
And before I go, I will leaveyou all with an affirmation.
As all I affirm, I willcelebrate every single day I
have above ground.
Thanks for listening.
(20:00):
Bye-bye.
Welcome to the divine healingpodcast, where we discuss inner
healing, work spirituality, andpushing yourself to live your
very best life.
I'm your host family, thedivine.
If this is your first timelistening, thank you for pushing
the play button.
And if you're a returninglistener, thank you for joining
us again.
So this week I'm going to do alittle bit of something
different.
(00:22):
It's an alignment with some ofthe things that we talk about on
the show here, but today'sepisode is going to be a bit
short, I guess it would beconsidered a mini-sode.
But before I get into today'stopic, I want to say thank you
to everyone who has reached outto me and provided amazing
feedback to let me know thatyou're listening to the show,
you're enjoying the content,you're learning things, and you
can relate to what I'm talking.
(00:43):
Thank you to everyone who hasreached out with feedback.
If you've reached out to medirectly via text message,
email, Instagram, Facebook,wherever it is.
Thank you all for listening.
It warms my heart to know thatyou all are finding something
valuable in the information thatI'm sharing.
So I had a birthday two weeksago.
My birthday was on three, three.
(01:04):
I am a Pisces through andthrough, and I was blessed to
turn 36.
On 3, 3 22.
So that's exactly what I want totalk about today, birthday
blessings.
So I know for a lot of folks,birthdays can be a bit
difficult.
We think about birthdays as alot of times, they're starting a
new chapter.
So a couple episodes ago wherewe talked about the new year and
(01:26):
setting intentions, I talkedabout how sometimes a lot of
people set their intentionsversus okay.
We do that whole new year'sresolution thing.
But then for some folks, theirnew year where they set their
intentions, it's actually theirbirthday because it's the
beginning of a new chapter.
You're making your solar returnor another year around the sun
(01:46):
as people like to say, but it's,it's, it's a fresh start for a
lot of folks and that doesn'thave to be on January one.
It can be on your birthday.
Really.
It can be on any day you want itto be, but I know I've always.
New year, new me, that wholething.
But then I also have things thatI want to accomplish as it
relates to me moving into thenext year of my life, into the
(02:06):
next chapter.
So this year will be chapterthree.
But on the flip side of that,what happens is a lot of times,
as we get close to our birthday,a lot of folks experience what's
called birthday blues.
I don't know that was somethingI experienced for years.
I think this year, it may belast year when I turned 35 or
the first two years where Ihonestly felt like I'm good, I'm
(02:28):
in a good place.
I'm feeling content with where Iam.
And the reason that happens is alot of times, as we get closer
to our birthday, it's a reminderthat another year has been.
And maybe we haven'taccomplished all of the things
that we wanted to in the pastyear.
Maybe it's a milestone birthday.
Maybe it's dirty 30.
Maybe it's.
I don't know if there'ssomething for 35.
(02:50):
I think my hashtag was 30 fine,but I think I made that up.
But 40 is normally a big one.
I remember 25 being a big oneand a lot of folks do that whole
quarter life crisis thing around25.
And normally from millennials,30 is a big one.
There may be 40 as you getolder, 50 and so on and so
forth.
If you're a blessed to see thoseyears, because let's be real
about it.
Everybody is not blessed withthe ability to grow old and the
(03:14):
society that we live.
But you may actually begin tofeel sad as you approach your
birthday from an astrologicalstandpoint, there's a period of
time before you get to your dayof birth, where that is the
lowest point of the astrologicalchart.
And it's because you arecompleting a cycle.
So it's that last little bitbefore it turns over and start
again, I'm not an astrologer,but that's something that I've
(03:36):
read and I've come to understandon a basic.
So it makes sense that folks maybe kind of feeling low as you
are approaching that, solarreturn, but you may be thinking
about all the things that youdidn't accomplish in that past
year.
You may be thinking about, ohman, I'm going to be 30.
And I thought I would be so muchfurther along, or I thought I
(03:56):
would be here and I'm not.
And I know a lot of times we getcaught up in.
People's highlight reels.
We see everybody on social mediaand they appear to be doing so
well and so wonderful.
And they're buying houses andcars and they're getting married
and they're have their familiesand their businesses.
And that's not to say that thosethings aren't true because for
(04:17):
many people they are, but alsokeep in mind that a lot of times
we only see the high points inpeople's lives.
And they may or may notbroadcast the lows.
Now I do know some folks on mytimeline who broadcast the lows
as well as the highest, but Imean, that's be realistic about
it.
Most people only are sharingtheir good news and their high
points.
So that's why we describe it asa highlight reel.
(04:37):
You never really know what'sgoing on in somebody's life.
You never really know what'sgoing on behind closed doors.
They could be putting onappearances, trying to make
themselves look better for thegram.
That's why you have to takeeverything that you see with a
grain of salt.
'cause you could be sitting overhere.
Upset tag, man.
I thought, you know, so-and-sowas doing this and this and
this, and you really don't evenknow if that's the case.
Don't get caught up.
(04:58):
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Do not let it still yours.
You want to compare.
Yourself to somebody, compareyourself to yourself, prepare
yourself to where you werebefore.
And if you're not where it isthat you want to be, okay, don't
feel bad about it.
Let's take a step back reassessand think about what things we
need to do to get where it isthat we want to go from.
(05:21):
Nowhere.
It is that we want to go wherewe need to take some time to sit
back and figure that out aswell.
Sometimes we worry about.
Maybe, we don't have any plans.
I mean, we don't have any moneyor maybe, we don't have any
friends around to spend ourbirthday with or a family.
We may be worried about spendingit alone.
Some folks may appreciate takinga self care day and spending
(05:42):
their birthday by themselves.
But I think in our society, wethink birthday, we think party,
we think celebration.
So that translates to beingsocial and being social.
It can be a variety of things wemay be thinking about just the
number, we may be sanding andwell damn, I'm getting old.
I'm getting the before.
(06:03):
There's a wide variety ofreasons why you may be
experiencing birthday blues.
You could be thinking about pastbirthdays that went horrible or
date birthdays.
You didn't get what it was thatyou wanted out of it.
Maybe growing up birthdays werenot a memorable experience for
you.
But remember, as an adult, youhave the power to change your
life.
You can change it into anythingthat you want to change it into.
(06:26):
So, what I want to talk abouttoday is, if you're a person who
normally experienced hisbirthday blues, or you found
yourself in that place, which Ifound myself in that place in
plenty of years past, we'regoing to talk about what you do
to change it.
We're going to talk about howyou shift your mindset as it
relates to your birthday.
So as opposed to thinking aboutit as, okay, I'm coming up on
(06:47):
another year and I haven'taccomplished this and that.
Well, let's think about all ofthe things that you're going to
accomplish in this new year,because your birthday is a fresh
start.
That's the first thing we'regoing to do.
Think about it as a fresh start,because it is, it's a fresh
start.
It's a new chapter in the book.
You're turning a new page.
So if last year didn't go sogreat or didn't go the way you
(07:08):
wanted it to what are we goingto do?
What are you going to do in thisnext year to change it so that
you'll have a better outcome.
Sit down and think about that.
Write in your journal, reflectabout it.
If there are things that youneed to do, maybe you want to
start a business.
Maybe you want to learn a newhobby, take some classes, do
some research, start to getthings in place so that you can
(07:29):
prepare to be successful in yournew.
Remember that your birthday is atime to celebrate.
Now, the way that you choose tocelebrate may not be the way
that somebody else chooses tocelebrate.
I'm a Pisces.
We like to party.
Usually if it's my birthday, I'mgoing to roll up in a sequined
dress with Tiara on and I'mgoing to want to drink champagne
(07:50):
and eat all of the foods.
That's what I like to do thatdoes not mean that that's how
you have to celebrate yourbirthday.
Some people may want to go onvacation.
I know with COVID, we haven'treally been able to do that.
That was something that I wantedto do.
I wanted to go on a vacation andthen do all of the things that I
previously described while onthe vacation.
(08:10):
But unfortunately with COVID,you know, restrictions and
things like that, and just, menot.
Feeling comfortable travelingout of the country for my own
safety.
That was something that got puton the back burner this year, as
well as last year, last yearwhen I turned 35, I opted to
book a hotel room.
So I did a staycation thing anda couple of my girlfriends came
over and we had a little party,only invited a few people
(08:32):
because again, COVID but I had agood time.
I wore my favorite color.
If you know me, you know, whenin doubt wear pink.
Forever faith.
And we got dressed up.
We all wore pink and we poppedbottles and we had charcuterie
boards and we have food in theroom, was the room was nice.
I bought the really nice suite.
And we had a good time celebrateyour birthday in the way that it
(08:55):
is that you want to celebrateit.
If you want to invite otherpeople, feel free to invite
them.
Don't sit around and wait forsomebody else to plan something.
That was the mistake that I madeearlier and probably in my late
twenties and early thirties,sitting around, waiting on
everybody else, you might end upwith nothing, take charge.
If you know that you're going togo about set up something, I
(09:16):
would set up a birthday dinner.
Or I usually like to go tobrunch.
And I sent out an invite to myfriends and whoever came came,
and we had a good time somethingI used to do in my early
twenties was I would spend theday pampering myself.
So that day was for me and Iwould go and I would get my hair
done and I would get my nailsdone.
I would go out to lunch or go todinner, or sometimes, someone
would take me out as a treat formy birthday.
(09:38):
Sometimes I would go by myself.
But that was just something thatI chose to do on that day.
Now that I'm a little bit older,I find that I don't want to
spend all day in the nail salonand there's a lot on my birthday
cause y'all know that can takeall day long.
So I usually do those things inthe days leading up to it, but I
still, maybe do my brunch thing.
The past few years, I've beengoing to the spa on my birthday.
So doing a different type ofpampering, having a massage,
(10:00):
having a facial, having a bodyscrub, having lunch there, doing
the whole spa day thing.
So that's been my favorite thingto do.
I didn't do it last year becausethe COVID, I didn't feel
comfortable, but the.
A few years, that was somethingthat I did.
And that was what I opted to dothis year.
I went to the spa and I satthere peacefully and quietly by
myself with my thoughts.
And I relaxed turned my phoneoff.
(10:22):
I just enjoy the peace, thequiet and the solitude celebrate
your birthday.
However it is that you want topeople are not mind readers.
If there's something that youreally wanted you, if you want
to do it by yourself, go aheadand set it up.
If you want to do it with someother folks.
Invite them as a group.
If folks want to take you outand do things with you or have a
party or whatever, they can dothat in addition to, but you
(10:46):
take charge of the situation anddecide how you will celebrate
your birthday in a way thatpleases you and will make you
the most happy and make you feelgood.
Something different that I didthis year was I actually set an
into.
So set an intention for how youwrote your birthday to go.
I set an intention.
I spoken incantation over mycandles and my incantation and
(11:09):
started with my 36th birthdaywas beautiful.
And then there was some otherstuff that I wrote after that.
And I don't remember off the topof my head right now, but it
was, and I had a great time.
I did all the things that Iwanted to do and anybody else
who wanted to spend time withme, they only enhanced what I
already had planned.
(11:33):
I spoke up about what I wantedto do.
I wanted to go to brunch.
So someone made lunchreservations and I went, we did
that.
I wanted to go out for drinksand for dinner.
So a good friend of mine, hemade arrangements for that.
We went and we did that.
One of my coworkers took me outto happy hour.
She wanted to go out andcelebrate.
And so we went and we did that.
Normally.
(11:53):
I spend the day at the spot.
So I did that that day and Itreated myself to dinner that
evening at a restaurant close bythe spa that I normally like to
go to when I'm in that area, Itreated myself to dinner on that
particular day.
And then I came home andarrested.
Cause I was tired after the spa.
It was good and relaxed, I wentto someone else's birthday
party.
One of my coworkers, herbirthday was the day before
mine.
She had a birthday party duringthat weekend.
(12:15):
And I went to that and I had agreat time, but I set the
intention.
That my birthday was going to bebeautiful.
I set the intention when I spokeit, I spoke it as if it had
already happened and it trulycame to fruition.
Maybe that's something differentthan you want to try set an
intention.
You can set it to differentanything in life.
It doesn't even have to just beyour birthday.
(12:36):
We've talked about this over andover in these episodes, you set
your intentions for what it isthat you wish to accomplish.
The next thing you may want totry, create an annual birthday
ritual.
I talked about how I like to goto the spa, but maybe there's
something that you want to doevery single year.
One thing for me was to go tobrunch.
(12:57):
There's a particular restauranthere in town that I like called
me.
Shirley's I go there, usually onmy birthday for breakfast.
Sometimes someone goes with me.
Sometimes I go by myself,depends on how I'm feeling that
year I go and I.
You don't have to do this, but Ialways order the same thing.
I go there for a buy you omelet.
It has shrimp.
It has andouille sausage.
I go there.
I have a buy your omelet withgrids and I'm a Mosa.
(13:22):
That's my annual birthday ritualevery year.
Find something that can be anannual birthday ritual for you.
Like I mentioned a moment ago,maybe it's getting your hair
done, getting your nails done,whatever, whatever it is,
something that is meaningful toyou.
Maybe it's trying something newor somewhere you've never been
maybe trying a new restaurant.
Maybe it's gone on a trip tosomewhere.
(13:44):
You've never been create abirthday ritual, put it in
place, planning in advance foryour.
You already had plans.
Everything is mapped out.
It'll go smoothly.
You'll have a good time.
Maybe it's just spending timewith your family and your
(14:04):
friends.
There's a wide variety of waysto do that.
I know in my family, we alwayswent out for birthdays.
No matter whose birthday it was,we always went out to.
From childhood up until now, Iwent out to dinner.
I went out to brunch with myparents this year.
It was my dad's birthday, too.
We went out to brunch.
In past years, you know, we'vegone out to dinner.
It just depends on the timingand the situation.
But my family birthdays werealways a big deal.
(14:26):
So we always went out foreverybody's birthday.
Another thing that is fun to doon your birthday, take advantage
of birthday freebies.
A lot of times you sign up formailing lists for stuff, and
then you get something free foryour birthday.
Like Starbucks gives you a freecoffee.
I know don't get donuts, sendyou a free coffee.
(14:46):
I think Panera send you apastry.
Cold stone gives you a free icecream.
There are all kinds of thingsthat you can sign up for.
I know there's a listcirculating around the web
because I remember seeing itbefore I signing up for all of
those things.
But take advantage of birthdayfreebies.
You can go out and have lunch,get you a snack, get your
coffee, get your ice cream,whatever, just because it's your
(15:07):
birthday.
Just remember.
And I know this episode is kindof lighthearted and I might
sound like I'm all over theplace, but just to remember.
That your birthday is your ownpersonal holiday.
Treat it as such spend that day,doing whatever it is that you
(15:28):
want to do.
If you work, maybe take the dayoff.
I never, ever, ever work on mybirthday.
I always take that day off.
Even if I took it off this athome, as you know, I'm not
working that day.
I get one day at a 365 days.
That is personal to me.
So I'm going to spend it howeverit is that I want to spend it.
(15:48):
If that means shore my ass andturn it up, there are lots of
what it means.
If it means sitting in solitudeand getting some rest, it can
mean that too.
It is your own personal health.
Spend it the way that you wantto spend it.
I spent so many years and pastyears being disappointed and
being upset because I hadexpectations of other people on
my birthday.
(16:08):
I expected my husband to docertain things.
I expected my family to docertain things and then opposite
left sitting disappointed andupset because I didn't take
charge of the day and celebrateit the way that I wanted to
don't allow yourself to fallinto birthday blues.
Every birthday is a blessing.
We don't know if we're going tomake it to our next birthday.
(16:29):
One thing we've learned throughCOVID I think is life is too
short.
Too many people have left herein this past two years and they
probably did not imagine thatthis would have happened.
Every birthday is a blessing.
Every day above ground is ablessing.
(16:49):
You get one day to celebrate theday that you were born.
So that's exactly what.
Celebrate it, however you seefit, whatever that means to you,
whatever makes you happy.
I'm going to run down the tipsreal quick.
Again.
(17:11):
Look at it as a fresh start, asa blank slate as a new chapter,
be optimistic, be positive andlook forward to the things
you're going to accomplish inyour new year.
Be happy.
Don't worry about all of thethings that you didn't
accomplish and how old you arebe happy because every birthday
is a blessing.
(17:31):
So celebrate each and every one.
Think about setting an intentionfor your birthday plan, things
in advance and do what it isthat you want to do.
Maybe try creating an annualbirthday ritual, but most
(17:52):
important.
Have fun and enjoy yourself.
So I know today's episode is alittle different than what we
normally discuss, but you know,it's Pacey season and anybody
who knows me knows I'm alwayshere for Pisces party.
My birthday is my favoriteholiday next to new year's Eve.
And at this point in my life,I'm going to spend it doing the
(18:15):
things that are.
Last year, I remember having anepiphany about finally feeling
like, it was my first birthdayalone after separating from my
husband and finally feeling likeI'm content with where I am.
I'm happy.
I'm at peace.
And I'm looking forward to what35 will bring.
(18:36):
And this year was even betterand amazing.
Because I made the decision tocelebrate myself in the way that
I saw fit.
So I'm sharing this message withyou all so that you can do the
(18:57):
same.
Don't get caught up in birthday.
Blues COVID seems to be rampingdown, so we'll have more options
and opportunities available to,as I know, some of us.
Probably two, maybe three COVIDbirthdays, where options were
limited.
I know the first year, rightbefore it happens, I remember
going out to brunch with mygirlfriends that Sunday on the
(19:18):
eighth, and then the 15th Iworked at the bar always worked
on Sundays for the day party.
And that was the last day Iworked because on the 16th that
Monday, everything shut down.
Last year I talked about, I didthis vacation and this year I
did a variety of things.
I didn't go and vacate like Iwanted to, but that's not right
because next year will be.
Once again, thank you all forlistening.
(19:40):
I hope you found this episodeuplifting and it was little
different than what I normallydo, but thank you for listening.
And before I go, I will leaveyou all with an affirmation.
As all I affirm, I willcelebrate every single day I
have above ground.
Thanks for listening.
(20:00):
Bye-bye.
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