June 27, 2022 • 25 mins
The host, Femi the Divine, shares her experiences around loneliness, isolation, and letting go of things that no longer serve you like toxic relationships, and friendships. She also talks about how to cope with being outside of your comfort zone as well as how to go within and be laser focused while on your healing journey.
Topics Discussed - elevation, isolation, friendships, toxic relationships, personal development, rest, relaxation, reflection, navigating the journey, break ups, sadness, seeking support, leaving your comfort zone, etc.
Contact info - Femi the Divine
IG - @divinehealingpodcast or @femithedivine
Web - www.thedivinehealingpodcast.com
Email - femithedivine@gmail.com
Please follow, share, and leave us a rating if you enjoyed the show! Thanks for listening.
Contact info - Femi the Divine
IG @divinehealingpodcast
www.thedivinehealingpodcast.com
femithedivine@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Femi the Divine (00:01):
Hello, welcome to the divine healing podcast.
I'm your host.
Wimy the divine.
And welcome back to this week'sshow.
So we are on episode number 14.
If you are new to the show,thank you for listening.
And if you're a returninglistener.
Welcome back.
Thank you for pushing the playbutton as always.
(00:21):
Thank you to everyone who hassent feedback regarding the past
episodes.
Your feedback is greatlyappreciated.
Our next show number 15 is goingto be a Q and a episode.
So please feel free to shoot me.
Any questions that you have, youcan email me.
My email is FMI, the divinegmail.com.
You can message me on Instagram,the show pages, divine healing
(00:44):
podcast, or FMI the divine,which is my personal page.
But if you have any questions,anything about any of the past
episodes, any of those topics,or, it doesn't have to be a
topic that we've alreadydiscussed, but just things that
you have questions about as itrelates to healing, as it
relates to spirituality, or asit relates to, anything that.
(01:05):
We've discussed here on thepodcast.
I'm gonna try to keep it short.
It probably won't be a lot ofquestions.
But please feel free to sendyour questions.
And so we can do a listener Qand a, I would say, please have
them in, by.
I would say that Friday before,I think in two weeks from now,
we are looking at, if you'relistening to this today is
(01:28):
Monday, June the 27th.
So in two weeks, the Fridaybefore that would be July the
eighth.
Yeah, July the eighth.
Okay.
So if you could have anyquestion.
and to me by then, I wouldgreatly appreciate it.
(01:50):
And then I will go ahead andrecord the Q and a answers.
For the next episode.
If you're enjoying the show,please feel free to like share,
subscribe, leave us a comment.
If you leave us a rating oniTunes or Spotify, that will
help the show to become morevisible to other folks.
If you've enjoyed what you'veheard here, shared with a
friend, share it on socialmedia, post it on your page.
(02:11):
That will bring more listenersto the show.
This week's topic is going to beelevation.
Requires isolation.
And this topic has been on mymind really the past couple of
weeks, as I've had someexperiences that have literally
(02:35):
landed me.
In a place of isolation alone.
However you wanna look at it.
I discussed this in a previousepisode.
I wanna say it's the episodeabout 10 things I've learned on
my journey to healing.
And one thing that you willlearn about this particular
journey or path or whatever youwanna call it is that it can be
(02:56):
lonely.
It can be solitary.
You can feel like nobody elseunderstands what's going on and
what I've been running into.
And not just recently, this hasbeen going on, periodically for
years where you'll be insituations, you'll be in places
you'll be dealing with thingsand then suddenly they'll go PO.
(03:22):
It won't make any sense to youwhy it happened?
What happened, how it happened,something will just go, poof.
I know specifically for me, asof lady has been friendships,
there are folks that I thought Iwas good friends with and I
thought they were good friendsto me.
And we seemed to have had a spatabout something and real talk.
(03:46):
I didn't even know.
We didn't have an argument.
We didn't have bad words.
We were having a regularconversation and they were
offended by something.
And strangely it's often by textmessage and I went, and then
it's oh, they just startresponding.
And they stopped speaking to meand I'm like what the heck
happened?
Like I'm rereading the messages.
Did I say something wrong?
Did I do something weird?
(04:07):
And there's nothing there.
And, you reach out to theperson, maybe they don't answer,
or when they do, you're met withall this animosity why I had to
take a step back and reassessand make sure it wasn't me
because, we get into this wholething of if you're the comments,
denominator, you must be theissue.
And that was legit how Ithought, but the more and more I
looked at it and I thought aboutit.
(04:30):
I realized that in thoseparticular situations they were
offended or bothered or theirfeathers were ruffled about
something.
And that had more to do withthem and where they were in
their healing than where theyhad to do with me and mine.
Several of these situations, theperson just flew off the handle.
(04:51):
Something, when I reached outand asked what was wrong have
you been holding onto this allthat time?
Like you were upset with meabout something that I didn't
even know about.
Like the one girl was upsetabout.
She didn't like the way I used aparticular emoji in the
conversation.
Like it, it just as on shit,shit, that don't make sense.
So I said all of that to.
(05:14):
and this has been my experience.
It seemed once I began to embarkon this journey, especially once
I made the decision to separatefrom my husband, a lot of times,
When you are miserable or whenyou are in a tough spot, misery
loves company.
And it's you all are all in thesame.
I hate to use the expressioncrabs in a barrel, but you all
are in the same, loop.
(05:36):
And when you choose to do thingsdifferently and you choose to do
better and try to pull yourselfup out of that particular
situation, other people see thatand they don't like.
maybe it's not that they don'tlike that it's that they wish
they could do what you weredoing and they don't know how,
(05:57):
and they don't wanna ask you forhelp or they don't see the value
in it, or they're too stuck intheir own shit.
They even understand what ishappening, but it's who does she
think she is?
And.
I never want to portray myselfas thinking that I am better
(06:23):
than other people that I am allseeing.
I am all knowing I am allknowledgeable, cuz that ain't
it.
None of us know everything.
We were all born in this worldknowing nothing.
And we all had to figure it out.
I don't purport to be any betterthan anybody else, but it's like
when you are no longer in thatsame space where they are, and
(06:43):
you're no longer nagging andcomplaining and, unhappy them,
seeing your light shine makesthem uncomfortable and how they
choose to deal with and expressthat uncomfortableness
uncomfortable.
Or discomfort, I should saysometimes comes out in the form
(07:09):
of lashing out at you.
I know in the conversation withthe one person of the girl, and
she was upset about the emojiand whatever, and, we ended up
having this conversation and I'mexplaining myself and she's
explaining, what she thought andhow she felt.
And I never wanna invalidateanybody else's feelings, but I
explained to her, that wassimply not.
What I meant, you made anassumption and if you had a
question you should have asked,but ended up turning into a
(07:31):
whole pep talk about, herlearning to trust herself and be
more confident and, be present.
And she actually ended upthinking me and saying, thanks
for the conversation.
But I realized that I can't befriends with people like that.
It just takes too much time andtoo much energy for me to worry
about.
(07:52):
am I making them uncomfortable?
Because at the end of the day,I'm going to always be my whole
self.
It took me too long and I cametoo far to come to this point to
now, then my light for otherpeople, because they're
uncomfortable.
Them being uncomfortable hasnothing to do with me.
It has to do with them beinguncomfortable with themselves.
(08:14):
So I said all of that to.
When you are on a journey whereyou are moving forward, you're
choosing yourself, just youchoosing yourself.
Sometimes ruffles people'sfeathers.
It makes them uncomfortable andangry and whatever else, cuz
it's like, how dare she?
But it was just like once Ichose to move on for my husband,
I no longer had any misery incommon with a lot of those
(08:34):
folks.
So it was almost like we reallydidn't even have anything to
discuss anymore.
And the relationships began itswindow.
Do you find yourself in asituation where you feel like
people are being removed fromyour life, situations are being
removed and it's, again, it'salways some weird, strange
(08:55):
something that doesn't make anysense.
And then it's poof, they'regone.
That may be happening becausethat person plays a situation.
It is a distraction from whereyou're going.
It's holding you back frommoving forward.
It's contributed unnecessarystress, drama, negative energy,
whatever it is in your life.
(09:18):
I know sometimes that thesefriendships, these people, these
places, these things are hard tolet go of.
Especially if it's somebodyyou've been friends with for
years, especially if it's afamily member or you've been at
a job for a long time, whateverthe situation is, but understand
that you can't move forward.
If you're still holding on toyour past, if you feel like,
(09:42):
there was some kind ofmisunderstanding or something
weird, and you wanna reach out,to try to clarify or see what
happened.
That was what I did in all ofthose situations.
they're not receptive and itgoes left.
Maybe it's just time to let thatrelationship go.
And there was one in particular,I really was disappointed by
(10:04):
because I, I really had no idea.
Like we were supposed to go out,we were supposed to meet me and
this particular young lady andthe date that she picked, she
basically blew me off.
And so we rescheduled again forthe following week and.
I reached out the day before toconfirm the day of maybe a few
hours before she wanted tochange plans at the last minute.
(10:26):
And I wasn't amenable to that.
I, that's not what I wanted todo.
And I wasn't obligated to goalong with her changing her
plans at the last minute, I putmy foot down, I set a boundary.
I wasn't rude.
I wasn't nasty, and it wasliterally, okay, maybe we can go
another day and she respondsback to me and she.
Are you sure?
And I said, sure, it's cool.
(10:47):
I later found out that sheblocked me, unfriended me, like
on social media, all this crazystuff.
And I'm like what the heckhappened?
I reached out to her because Iwas genuinely concerned, she and
I have been friends for 10 plusshe is, the last conversation we
had was literally we can goanother day and she unfriended.
and then she and I had beenmessaging her, checking
periodically.
Like we always did.
(11:07):
I think I had messaged her twoor three times.
She didn't respond.
So I'm like dang.
Maybe she blocked my number.
So I sent her a message, askingif everything was okay.
I reached out to her and thefollowing day, I got this nasty
text message back from her.
And I couldn't quite understand,where the animosity came from,
where she was even upset aboutat this point, this was like 60
(11:27):
days ago.
And I thought that thisparticular young lady was a good
friend to me, but the way shename called and was rude and
nasty, her tone was nasty.
It was almost like.
she even said we could befriends if you want you know
what?
Nope do not want, because Idon't know what's going on with
(11:48):
you.
Maybe she's going throughsomething in her personal life.
But none of this lines up withthe fact that you wanted to
change plans at the last minute,and I told you that, maybe we
should go some other time.
So there had to be somethingelse.
going on behind the scenes.
There had to be another reasonwhy things spiraled the way that
they did.
To be honest with you, Iwould've rather, she had not
(12:09):
answered instead of sending methat nasty message, but it just
didn't make any sense.
And I realized, it may be thefact that now this situation,
this friendship, has ended andthat chapter has closed when you
choose yourself.
When you choose to put yourselffirst, when you begin to set
(12:33):
boundaries for your own safetyand wellbeing, you may run into
situations like that, wherepeople who are used to you
always letting things slide andsaying, oh, that's okay.
It's not a bother.
No worries.
Or just going along with theflow that when you suddenly
don't want to do that anymore,and you take up for yourself.
(12:58):
Now you're the problem.
I don't know about y'all, butI've never been in a situation
where the decision to choosemyself and my own wellbeing was
the wrong one.
Don't let people walk all overtop of you.
(13:20):
Don't let people make you feelguilty or feel bad.
for choosing your own wellbeingover anything else.
You are no good to anybody.
You are not taking good care ofyourself.
So that's what I mean by theelevation requires isolation.
(13:41):
Understand that one.
If you're on this path, you'vebeen chosen by somebody
somewhere, most likely one ofyour ancestors to embark on this
journey, maybe you had some sortof epiphany or.
Major life event that, shookthings up.
Maybe you had a tower momentthat led you down this path,
(14:01):
people, places, and things aregoing to be cleared so that you
can focus on what it is that youneed to do so that you can hear
and intu it clearly so that youcan figure out your next steps
so that you can be guided.
along the path toward livingyour very best life.
(14:28):
It won't be easy letting go ofpeople, places and things that
you hold near and dear to yourheart that you are comfortable
with is never easy, butunderstand that growth is going
to be uncomfortable.
Maybe those people are beingremoved.
Those things aren't adding anyvalue to your life and you can't
(14:48):
take them with you where it isthat you are going.
It's up to you to determine whatit is that you're willing to
tolerate and what, and who it isthat you are willing to take
along with you.
You have to do what's best for.
(15:09):
so you're probably sitting thereokay, FMI.
Now you didn't told me that allmy friends are gonna go away.
All my family I'm gonna loseeverything.
Okay.
So what do I do now?
That's not exactly what I said,but it may kind sound daunting.
So what do you do now?
You take your hermit momentsometimes that's just taking a
(15:30):
rest, taking a.
Laying back thinking about allof the things that you have
going on, thinking about how youarrived here to this point, and
then also thinking about whereyou're going.
Take this time alone, to pause,to rest, rest, and reflect.
(15:52):
Think about what it is that youreally want for your life.
Think about the things that youthought you wanted.
Maybe now you.
Think about the places in yourlife where you feel stuck, think
(16:15):
about some things that you cando to get unstuck.
Maybe you can't figure that partout on your own.
That's why you feel stuck.
You need to seek guidance fromsomebody else.
I know when I kept landing inthese situations where I felt
like, friends were beingremoved, I asked about it during
deviation.
With my priestess.
And basically she confirmed whatI thought it was.
(16:35):
She said those friendships,those situations were not
authentic.
So it was time to let them go.
That mean that was along in theshort of it.
And the thing is some of thesituations, especially the last
one, like I have to be honestwith you.
I was completely shocked whenthat happened, I take my
friendships very seriously, andI'm always willing to help when
(16:58):
people ask me to help and I comeout in support and I do all of
these things, and I'll be honestwith everything that I've had
going on the last year or so, inCOVID and everything else.
I probably haven't done as muchas those things, as I normally
would have, pre COVID.
But, these are people who I havebent over backwards for gone out
of my way, spent my time, spentmy money, rearranged my schedule
(17:21):
to accommodate only for them tobe pissy with me over a
misinterpreted text message likethat.
Can't be what it's about.
Also know that you may nevertruly get an answer to why a
particular situation happened orwhy somebody did what they.
(17:41):
Sometimes you just have to takethe L and move on and just know
that it's for the greater good.
It was their loss, not yours.
If somebody is adding confusionand drama and negative energy
and stuff to your life, thatthere's no benefit to keeping
them around.
If you really feel like that youhave a conversation with them
about it and maybe they weren'taware or maybe they're working
(18:02):
on it, or maybe they're justgoing through something, and
they need some additionalsupport.
That's one.
but if that's just how they areand that's how they've always
been.
And in the back of your mind,when people do things that rub
you the wrong way, or they don'tquite fit right with your
spirit, looking back now at allof those situations, I see
little small things that Imissed, and people who think
(18:24):
that they can treat you any kindof way, but then you pull it
them on them.
And then you're the problem.
Again, I understand how all thetime it comes back to you being
the problem.
They always make you theproblem.
It's not true.
It's them.
Maybe they aren't where theyare, where you are on your
(18:45):
healing journey just yet.
And that's perfectly fine.
We're all works in progress.
We're all at different points inour life, but sometimes.
you just can't take people withyou.
I find that in situations likethis, it's when there's a clean
(19:08):
break, at least in myexperience, I realize I don't
even miss them people, it's likewhen they were around, most of
the time they were doingnegative or nagging or doing
this or doing that, so whatreally?
What really are we missing?
just something to think about,especially if you're holding
onto what we call legacyfriendships, those folks that
(19:30):
you've been friends with sinceyou were knee high to a
grasshopper, and that's reallythe reason why you're friends
and, as adult, you really havethat much impairment no more.
Sometimes you just gotta letthat go.
So while you're having yourhermit moment, You're arresting,
(19:52):
you're regrouping.
You're reflecting.
Take some time to pray and askfor like-minded people to enter
your life.
that way you can feel that.
Again, like I said, this journeycan be a very lonely one.
(20:13):
Nobody wants to be lonely andalone and doing.
self development work, doinginner healing work, doing all of
those things that require you todeep dive.
Sometimes you need someadditional support to deal with
some of the things that comealong, you may uncover past
(20:34):
memories, things that youhaven't dealt with, and you may
need some additional support.
I suggest that you findsomewhere to seek support,
whether it be through therapy,whether it be through a trusted,
you.
Advisor, whether it be throughdifferent types of support
groups, even if it's just onlinein Facebook groups, you can find
a lot of great info in Facebookgroups.
(20:54):
You might even make some friendson there.
You just never know, maybe joinsome groups where you think
there may be like-minded peopleor people who are going through
the same types of things thatyou have been going through.
So that you don't feel soisolated and alone because
loneliness can be a bitch forreal.
That was one of the things thatI never thought would impact me
(21:15):
so much, after separating frommy husband, because
realistically he was neverreally home.
We worked opposite schedules.
So either he was home and Iwasn't, I was home and he
wasn't, but once he was actuallygone, it was different.
You.
(21:40):
You're having a rough day andyou're feeling lonely.
Maybe get out and just get somesun on your body.
Go to the park, maybe go to abookstore.
go to sometimes I like to go toPanera and sit and I've met and
struck up conversations withquite a few people.
Just sitting in there.
I don't know, go to a bar forthose of you.
Who've been listening for awhile.
I been light as a bartender.
(22:01):
A lot of times I get my socialtime while I'm at work working,
I get to chat with thecustomers.
They get to chat with me and Iget to make a little money at
the same time, so get out andtry some new things, meet some
new people, that way you don'tfeel so alone.
maybe go to an activity, buy aticket to something, maybe go to
a class, take a workshop.
(22:23):
You may meet like-minded peoplethere.
And it's something that,activity that you're doing
alone, but with a group, if thatmakes sense.
But don't get yourself down selfdown, understand that all of
this is necessary for growth.
Growth happens in darkness.
And moving out of your comfortzone is always going to be
(22:44):
uncomfortable.
That's why they call it acomfort zone.
So I hope all of this makessense to you all.
I didn't really have anythingplanned that I wanted to
discuss.
I didn't have any notes oranything like I normally do.
This is just a topic that, beenon my brain.
(23:06):
For the last couple of weeks.
And I finally got some of theconfirmation that I needed this
past Friday, but just know thatsometimes people, places and
things are gonna be removed fromyour life for the greater good,
because in order to elevate, youmust isolate.
(23:29):
Take this time to really focus.
And buckle down on what it isthat you want for your life, so
that you can truly be happy andcreate the life that you truly
desire.
Thank you all for listening totoday's show again, do not
(23:54):
forget that next week's show isgonna be a Q and a.
So please send me your questionsso that I can answer them.
I will do the answersanonymously.
I won't say your name oranything just in case, you don't
want anybody to know, but feelfree to ask me whatever.
If you're enjoying the show,remember to leave us a rating,
(24:16):
subscribe, follow share all ofthe above so that other people
can hear show and maybe benefitthe same way that you feel that
you do.
Before I go, I'm gonna leave youall with the affirmation as
always.
(24:38):
I affirm, I am committed to mygrowth.
Thanks for listening.
Bye bye
Hello, welcome to the divine healing podcast.
I'm your host.
Wimy the divine.
And welcome back to this week'sshow.
So we are on episode number 14.
If you are new to the show,thank you for listening.
And if you're a returninglistener.
Welcome back.
Thank you for pushing the playbutton as always.
(00:21):
Thank you to everyone who hassent feedback regarding the past
episodes.
Your feedback is greatlyappreciated.
Our next show number 15 is goingto be a Q and a episode.
So please feel free to shoot me.
Any questions that you have, youcan email me.
My email is FMI, the divinegmail.com.
You can message me on Instagram,the show pages, divine healing
(00:44):
podcast, or FMI the divine,which is my personal page.
But if you have any questions,anything about any of the past
episodes, any of those topics,or, it doesn't have to be a
topic that we've alreadydiscussed, but just things that
you have questions about as itrelates to healing, as it
relates to spirituality, or asit relates to, anything that.
(01:05):
We've discussed here on thepodcast.
I'm gonna try to keep it short.
It probably won't be a lot ofquestions.
But please feel free to sendyour questions.
And so we can do a listener Qand a, I would say, please have
them in, by.
I would say that Friday before,I think in two weeks from now,
we are looking at, if you'relistening to this today is
(01:28):
Monday, June the 27th.
So in two weeks, the Fridaybefore that would be July the
eighth.
Yeah, July the eighth.
Okay.
So if you could have anyquestion.
and to me by then, I wouldgreatly appreciate it.
(01:50):
And then I will go ahead andrecord the Q and a answers.
For the next episode.
If you're enjoying the show,please feel free to like share,
subscribe, leave us a comment.
If you leave us a rating oniTunes or Spotify, that will
help the show to become morevisible to other folks.
If you've enjoyed what you'veheard here, shared with a
friend, share it on socialmedia, post it on your page.
(02:11):
That will bring more listenersto the show.
This week's topic is going to beelevation.
Requires isolation.
And this topic has been on mymind really the past couple of
weeks, as I've had someexperiences that have literally
(02:35):
landed me.
In a place of isolation alone.
However you wanna look at it.
I discussed this in a previousepisode.
I wanna say it's the episodeabout 10 things I've learned on
my journey to healing.
And one thing that you willlearn about this particular
journey or path or whatever youwanna call it is that it can be
(02:56):
lonely.
It can be solitary.
You can feel like nobody elseunderstands what's going on and
what I've been running into.
And not just recently, this hasbeen going on, periodically for
years where you'll be insituations, you'll be in places
you'll be dealing with thingsand then suddenly they'll go PO.
(03:22):
It won't make any sense to youwhy it happened?
What happened, how it happened,something will just go, poof.
I know specifically for me, asof lady has been friendships,
there are folks that I thought Iwas good friends with and I
thought they were good friendsto me.
And we seemed to have had a spatabout something and real talk.
(03:46):
I didn't even know.
We didn't have an argument.
We didn't have bad words.
We were having a regularconversation and they were
offended by something.
And strangely it's often by textmessage and I went, and then
it's oh, they just startresponding.
And they stopped speaking to meand I'm like what the heck
happened?
Like I'm rereading the messages.
Did I say something wrong?
Did I do something weird?
(04:07):
And there's nothing there.
And, you reach out to theperson, maybe they don't answer,
or when they do, you're met withall this animosity why I had to
take a step back and reassessand make sure it wasn't me
because, we get into this wholething of if you're the comments,
denominator, you must be theissue.
And that was legit how Ithought, but the more and more I
looked at it and I thought aboutit.
(04:30):
I realized that in thoseparticular situations they were
offended or bothered or theirfeathers were ruffled about
something.
And that had more to do withthem and where they were in
their healing than where theyhad to do with me and mine.
Several of these situations, theperson just flew off the handle.
(04:51):
Something, when I reached outand asked what was wrong have
you been holding onto this allthat time?
Like you were upset with meabout something that I didn't
even know about.
Like the one girl was upsetabout.
She didn't like the way I used aparticular emoji in the
conversation.
Like it, it just as on shit,shit, that don't make sense.
So I said all of that to.
(05:14):
and this has been my experience.
It seemed once I began to embarkon this journey, especially once
I made the decision to separatefrom my husband, a lot of times,
When you are miserable or whenyou are in a tough spot, misery
loves company.
And it's you all are all in thesame.
I hate to use the expressioncrabs in a barrel, but you all
are in the same, loop.
(05:36):
And when you choose to do thingsdifferently and you choose to do
better and try to pull yourselfup out of that particular
situation, other people see thatand they don't like.
maybe it's not that they don'tlike that it's that they wish
they could do what you weredoing and they don't know how,
(05:57):
and they don't wanna ask you forhelp or they don't see the value
in it, or they're too stuck intheir own shit.
They even understand what ishappening, but it's who does she
think she is?
And.
I never want to portray myselfas thinking that I am better
(06:23):
than other people that I am allseeing.
I am all knowing I am allknowledgeable, cuz that ain't
it.
None of us know everything.
We were all born in this worldknowing nothing.
And we all had to figure it out.
I don't purport to be any betterthan anybody else, but it's like
when you are no longer in thatsame space where they are, and
(06:43):
you're no longer nagging andcomplaining and, unhappy them,
seeing your light shine makesthem uncomfortable and how they
choose to deal with and expressthat uncomfortableness
uncomfortable.
Or discomfort, I should saysometimes comes out in the form
(07:09):
of lashing out at you.
I know in the conversation withthe one person of the girl, and
she was upset about the emojiand whatever, and, we ended up
having this conversation and I'mexplaining myself and she's
explaining, what she thought andhow she felt.
And I never wanna invalidateanybody else's feelings, but I
explained to her, that wassimply not.
What I meant, you made anassumption and if you had a
question you should have asked,but ended up turning into a
(07:31):
whole pep talk about, herlearning to trust herself and be
more confident and, be present.
And she actually ended upthinking me and saying, thanks
for the conversation.
But I realized that I can't befriends with people like that.
It just takes too much time andtoo much energy for me to worry
about.
(07:52):
am I making them uncomfortable?
Because at the end of the day,I'm going to always be my whole
self.
It took me too long and I cametoo far to come to this point to
now, then my light for otherpeople, because they're
uncomfortable.
Them being uncomfortable hasnothing to do with me.
It has to do with them beinguncomfortable with themselves.
(08:14):
So I said all of that to.
When you are on a journey whereyou are moving forward, you're
choosing yourself, just youchoosing yourself.
Sometimes ruffles people'sfeathers.
It makes them uncomfortable andangry and whatever else, cuz
it's like, how dare she?
But it was just like once Ichose to move on for my husband,
I no longer had any misery incommon with a lot of those
(08:34):
folks.
So it was almost like we reallydidn't even have anything to
discuss anymore.
And the relationships began itswindow.
Do you find yourself in asituation where you feel like
people are being removed fromyour life, situations are being
removed and it's, again, it'salways some weird, strange
(08:55):
something that doesn't make anysense.
And then it's poof, they'regone.
That may be happening becausethat person plays a situation.
It is a distraction from whereyou're going.
It's holding you back frommoving forward.
It's contributed unnecessarystress, drama, negative energy,
whatever it is in your life.
(09:18):
I know sometimes that thesefriendships, these people, these
places, these things are hard tolet go of.
Especially if it's somebodyyou've been friends with for
years, especially if it's afamily member or you've been at
a job for a long time, whateverthe situation is, but understand
that you can't move forward.
If you're still holding on toyour past, if you feel like,
(09:42):
there was some kind ofmisunderstanding or something
weird, and you wanna reach out,to try to clarify or see what
happened.
That was what I did in all ofthose situations.
they're not receptive and itgoes left.
Maybe it's just time to let thatrelationship go.
And there was one in particular,I really was disappointed by
(10:04):
because I, I really had no idea.
Like we were supposed to go out,we were supposed to meet me and
this particular young lady andthe date that she picked, she
basically blew me off.
And so we rescheduled again forthe following week and.
I reached out the day before toconfirm the day of maybe a few
hours before she wanted tochange plans at the last minute.
(10:26):
And I wasn't amenable to that.
I, that's not what I wanted todo.
And I wasn't obligated to goalong with her changing her
plans at the last minute, I putmy foot down, I set a boundary.
I wasn't rude.
I wasn't nasty, and it wasliterally, okay, maybe we can go
another day and she respondsback to me and she.
Are you sure?
And I said, sure, it's cool.
(10:47):
I later found out that sheblocked me, unfriended me, like
on social media, all this crazystuff.
And I'm like what the heckhappened?
I reached out to her because Iwas genuinely concerned, she and
I have been friends for 10 plusshe is, the last conversation we
had was literally we can goanother day and she unfriended.
and then she and I had beenmessaging her, checking
periodically.
Like we always did.
(11:07):
I think I had messaged her twoor three times.
She didn't respond.
So I'm like dang.
Maybe she blocked my number.
So I sent her a message, askingif everything was okay.
I reached out to her and thefollowing day, I got this nasty
text message back from her.
And I couldn't quite understand,where the animosity came from,
where she was even upset aboutat this point, this was like 60
(11:27):
days ago.
And I thought that thisparticular young lady was a good
friend to me, but the way shename called and was rude and
nasty, her tone was nasty.
It was almost like.
she even said we could befriends if you want you know
what?
Nope do not want, because Idon't know what's going on with
(11:48):
you.
Maybe she's going throughsomething in her personal life.
But none of this lines up withthe fact that you wanted to
change plans at the last minute,and I told you that, maybe we
should go some other time.
So there had to be somethingelse.
going on behind the scenes.
There had to be another reasonwhy things spiraled the way that
they did.
To be honest with you, Iwould've rather, she had not
(12:09):
answered instead of sending methat nasty message, but it just
didn't make any sense.
And I realized, it may be thefact that now this situation,
this friendship, has ended andthat chapter has closed when you
choose yourself.
When you choose to put yourselffirst, when you begin to set
(12:33):
boundaries for your own safetyand wellbeing, you may run into
situations like that, wherepeople who are used to you
always letting things slide andsaying, oh, that's okay.
It's not a bother.
No worries.
Or just going along with theflow that when you suddenly
don't want to do that anymore,and you take up for yourself.
(12:58):
Now you're the problem.
I don't know about y'all, butI've never been in a situation
where the decision to choosemyself and my own wellbeing was
the wrong one.
Don't let people walk all overtop of you.
(13:20):
Don't let people make you feelguilty or feel bad.
for choosing your own wellbeingover anything else.
You are no good to anybody.
You are not taking good care ofyourself.
So that's what I mean by theelevation requires isolation.
(13:41):
Understand that one.
If you're on this path, you'vebeen chosen by somebody
somewhere, most likely one ofyour ancestors to embark on this
journey, maybe you had some sortof epiphany or.
Major life event that, shookthings up.
Maybe you had a tower momentthat led you down this path,
(14:01):
people, places, and things aregoing to be cleared so that you
can focus on what it is that youneed to do so that you can hear
and intu it clearly so that youcan figure out your next steps
so that you can be guided.
along the path toward livingyour very best life.
(14:28):
It won't be easy letting go ofpeople, places and things that
you hold near and dear to yourheart that you are comfortable
with is never easy, butunderstand that growth is going
to be uncomfortable.
Maybe those people are beingremoved.
Those things aren't adding anyvalue to your life and you can't
(14:48):
take them with you where it isthat you are going.
It's up to you to determine whatit is that you're willing to
tolerate and what, and who it isthat you are willing to take
along with you.
You have to do what's best for.
(15:09):
so you're probably sitting thereokay, FMI.
Now you didn't told me that allmy friends are gonna go away.
All my family I'm gonna loseeverything.
Okay.
So what do I do now?
That's not exactly what I said,but it may kind sound daunting.
So what do you do now?
You take your hermit momentsometimes that's just taking a
(15:30):
rest, taking a.
Laying back thinking about allof the things that you have
going on, thinking about how youarrived here to this point, and
then also thinking about whereyou're going.
Take this time alone, to pause,to rest, rest, and reflect.
(15:52):
Think about what it is that youreally want for your life.
Think about the things that youthought you wanted.
Maybe now you.
Think about the places in yourlife where you feel stuck, think
(16:15):
about some things that you cando to get unstuck.
Maybe you can't figure that partout on your own.
That's why you feel stuck.
You need to seek guidance fromsomebody else.
I know when I kept landing inthese situations where I felt
like, friends were beingremoved, I asked about it during
deviation.
With my priestess.
And basically she confirmed whatI thought it was.
(16:35):
She said those friendships,those situations were not
authentic.
So it was time to let them go.
That mean that was along in theshort of it.
And the thing is some of thesituations, especially the last
one, like I have to be honestwith you.
I was completely shocked whenthat happened, I take my
friendships very seriously, andI'm always willing to help when
(16:58):
people ask me to help and I comeout in support and I do all of
these things, and I'll be honestwith everything that I've had
going on the last year or so, inCOVID and everything else.
I probably haven't done as muchas those things, as I normally
would have, pre COVID.
But, these are people who I havebent over backwards for gone out
of my way, spent my time, spentmy money, rearranged my schedule
(17:21):
to accommodate only for them tobe pissy with me over a
misinterpreted text message likethat.
Can't be what it's about.
Also know that you may nevertruly get an answer to why a
particular situation happened orwhy somebody did what they.
(17:41):
Sometimes you just have to takethe L and move on and just know
that it's for the greater good.
It was their loss, not yours.
If somebody is adding confusionand drama and negative energy
and stuff to your life, thatthere's no benefit to keeping
them around.
If you really feel like that youhave a conversation with them
about it and maybe they weren'taware or maybe they're working
(18:02):
on it, or maybe they're justgoing through something, and
they need some additionalsupport.
That's one.
but if that's just how they areand that's how they've always
been.
And in the back of your mind,when people do things that rub
you the wrong way, or they don'tquite fit right with your
spirit, looking back now at allof those situations, I see
little small things that Imissed, and people who think
(18:24):
that they can treat you any kindof way, but then you pull it
them on them.
And then you're the problem.
Again, I understand how all thetime it comes back to you being
the problem.
They always make you theproblem.
It's not true.
It's them.
Maybe they aren't where theyare, where you are on your
(18:45):
healing journey just yet.
And that's perfectly fine.
We're all works in progress.
We're all at different points inour life, but sometimes.
you just can't take people withyou.
I find that in situations likethis, it's when there's a clean
(19:08):
break, at least in myexperience, I realize I don't
even miss them people, it's likewhen they were around, most of
the time they were doingnegative or nagging or doing
this or doing that, so whatreally?
What really are we missing?
just something to think about,especially if you're holding
onto what we call legacyfriendships, those folks that
(19:30):
you've been friends with sinceyou were knee high to a
grasshopper, and that's reallythe reason why you're friends
and, as adult, you really havethat much impairment no more.
Sometimes you just gotta letthat go.
So while you're having yourhermit moment, You're arresting,
(19:52):
you're regrouping.
You're reflecting.
Take some time to pray and askfor like-minded people to enter
your life.
that way you can feel that.
Again, like I said, this journeycan be a very lonely one.
(20:13):
Nobody wants to be lonely andalone and doing.
self development work, doinginner healing work, doing all of
those things that require you todeep dive.
Sometimes you need someadditional support to deal with
some of the things that comealong, you may uncover past
(20:34):
memories, things that youhaven't dealt with, and you may
need some additional support.
I suggest that you findsomewhere to seek support,
whether it be through therapy,whether it be through a trusted,
you.
Advisor, whether it be throughdifferent types of support
groups, even if it's just onlinein Facebook groups, you can find
a lot of great info in Facebookgroups.
(20:54):
You might even make some friendson there.
You just never know, maybe joinsome groups where you think
there may be like-minded peopleor people who are going through
the same types of things thatyou have been going through.
So that you don't feel soisolated and alone because
loneliness can be a bitch forreal.
That was one of the things thatI never thought would impact me
(21:15):
so much, after separating frommy husband, because
realistically he was neverreally home.
We worked opposite schedules.
So either he was home and Iwasn't, I was home and he
wasn't, but once he was actuallygone, it was different.
You.
(21:40):
You're having a rough day andyou're feeling lonely.
Maybe get out and just get somesun on your body.
Go to the park, maybe go to abookstore.
go to sometimes I like to go toPanera and sit and I've met and
struck up conversations withquite a few people.
Just sitting in there.
I don't know, go to a bar forthose of you.
Who've been listening for awhile.
I been light as a bartender.
(22:01):
A lot of times I get my socialtime while I'm at work working,
I get to chat with thecustomers.
They get to chat with me and Iget to make a little money at
the same time, so get out andtry some new things, meet some
new people, that way you don'tfeel so alone.
maybe go to an activity, buy aticket to something, maybe go to
a class, take a workshop.
(22:23):
You may meet like-minded peoplethere.
And it's something that,activity that you're doing
alone, but with a group, if thatmakes sense.
But don't get yourself down selfdown, understand that all of
this is necessary for growth.
Growth happens in darkness.
And moving out of your comfortzone is always going to be
(22:44):
uncomfortable.
That's why they call it acomfort zone.
So I hope all of this makessense to you all.
I didn't really have anythingplanned that I wanted to
discuss.
I didn't have any notes oranything like I normally do.
This is just a topic that, beenon my brain.
(23:06):
For the last couple of weeks.
And I finally got some of theconfirmation that I needed this
past Friday, but just know thatsometimes people, places and
things are gonna be removed fromyour life for the greater good,
because in order to elevate, youmust isolate.
(23:29):
Take this time to really focus.
And buckle down on what it isthat you want for your life, so
that you can truly be happy andcreate the life that you truly
desire.
Thank you all for listening totoday's show again, do not
(23:54):
forget that next week's show isgonna be a Q and a.
So please send me your questionsso that I can answer them.
I will do the answersanonymously.
I won't say your name oranything just in case, you don't
want anybody to know, but feelfree to ask me whatever.
If you're enjoying the show,remember to leave us a rating,
(24:16):
subscribe, follow share all ofthe above so that other people
can hear show and maybe benefitthe same way that you feel that
you do.
Before I go, I'm gonna leave youall with the affirmation as
always.
(24:38):
I affirm, I am committed to mygrowth.
Thanks for listening.
Bye bye
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