November 30, 2021 • 23 mins
The host, Femi the Divine discusses learning to let go of things that no longer serve you. This episode delves into how to determine when to let go. why to let go, and how to let go.
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IG @divinehealingpodcast
www.thedivinehealingpodcast.com
femithedivine@gmail.com
Contact info - Femi the Divine
IG @divinehealingpodcast
www.thedivinehealingpodcast.com
femithedivine@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to the divine healingpodcast.
I'm your host, Femi the divine.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you for tuning in totoday's show.
We are now on episode numberfive, but before I get into
today's topic, I just want tosay thank you to everyone who
has listened over the past fewweeks since I released the
podcast.
(00:21):
Thank you to everyone who sentme their feedback about what
they thought.
I have to be honest with youall.
I was surprised at the.
The amount of support I receivedthe comments that I received
from you all.
Thank you to everyone who sentme a text message who sent me a
DM who left me a comment.
Who shared the podcast.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
(00:41):
This obviously is my first timepodcasting, so I'm still trying
to figure this thing out andalso understand that this
project was something that I wasnudged to do by spirit.
It fell out in a divination.
It has to do with my destiny inthis lifetime, which is to use
my voice.
A podcast was the avenue.
That was provided for me toshare what it is that I know
(01:04):
with the world.
Thank you to everybody who hassent me positive words of
encouragement.
If you are listening to the showon.
Apple podcast on Spotify on anyof those platforms that you're
able to leave a review, pleaseleave us a review and let me
know your thoughts that helpsthe show to be more visible so
that more people can listen.
If you have any questions,comments, or concerns, feel free
(01:25):
to contact me.
You can send me a DM on ourInstagram page.
You can send me an email.
You can leave me a comment.
I will leave the contactinformation and the show notes
so that you all can get incontact with me.
And just know that.
This has definitely been a laborof love for me and a lesson in
obedience, understand thateverything that I'm talking
(01:46):
about on this show, has been mylife.
These are experiences that Ihave lived.
Nothing that I discussed on thispodcast is anything that I have
not personally gone through.
I've not personally dealt with.
this comes from livedexperience.
I'm not just on here lookingdown my nose, spouting stuff.
And in the same to oppresspeople, like you all hear the
(02:07):
stories and the anecdotes that Iweave in, in these episodes,
like this is me.
I wanted it to be authentic.
I wanted to show to be genuine.
And I really just went intoshare my life experiences in the
hopes that it would helpsomeone.
I hope that you are understandthat.
So now let's get into today'stopic.
Today we are going to talkabout.
(02:28):
Learning to let go.
We're going to talk aboutlearning, how to let go of
things that no longer serve us,why we need to do that when to
do it, how to go about doing it,when we think about the idea of
letting go of things that nolonger serve you, and I feel
like that's more.
(02:49):
Trendy phrases that's bumblingaround now.
It literally means releasingthings in your life that are no
longer in alignment with yourwants and needs.
It could be a person, it couldbe a place, it could be a
situation.
It could be a thing.
It could be a belief system, butthese may be things that we've
outgrown, maybe they're thingsthat are causing unnecessary.
(03:11):
Pain or heartache or drama orstrife, or, you know, just
discomfort in your life.
Or maybe it's just somethingthat you're choosing that you
don't want to deal with anymore.
You don't want to keep thatparticular company anymore.
By holding on to things that nolonger serve us, we are doing
ourselves a disservice.
You may be blocking yourblessings coming in because
(03:32):
you're holding on to this smallthing.
But until you learn to let go ofthe small thing, the big thing
can't come in.
Also, you could be sending theuniverse mixed messages or
spirit mixed messages becauseyou're saying, okay, well I
really want this, but I'm overhere settling for that.
(03:53):
So, so which one do, do youreally want?
Sometimes we drag our feet andwe put off things and we
procrastinate and understandthat sometimes when you drag
your feet and you take too long,the decision is made for you.
So that means somebody elsemakes the decision.
And that means that you've nowrelinquished your control in
that particular situation.
(04:15):
Why do we not let go of thingsthat have run their course?
I think the number one reason isprobably fear.
We're afraid of the unknown.
We're afraid of the discomfortthat may come from letting go of
whatever it is.
If it's a person or arelationship or friendship,
maybe a romantic relationship,you may be afraid of being
alone.
(04:35):
Or you may be afraid of how yourlife is going to change without
that person in it.
You may need that person forsupport.
You know, whether it's,physically, emotionally,
financially, whatever thesituation is.
So fear, complacency, laziness,maybe we don't know how to let
go.
You may be thinking about timeinvested.
Okay.
I've been in this relationship Xamount of years, do I really
(04:57):
want to throw all of that awaynow?
It could be in denial.
10 times we in denial and wedon't realize that we need to
let go of something we're justtoo busy holding on too tight,
not being committed to yourpersonal growth journey.
Sometimes folks just standingthere like a deer.
(05:19):
Putting others in their needsbefore yours to know the reason
why we don't let go of people,places and things.
Sometimes we're not evenfocusing on what it is that we
need or want Richard busyfocusing on other people and our
needs get pushed to the side.
Our ego or pride may be in theway.
I think that's self-explanatoryand lastly wanting to be in
(05:40):
control.
But if you really think about itout of all those things that I
just listed, they all reallysound like excuses.
I understand that as we grow andevolve our needs and wants may
change, why hold onto thingsthat are no longer in alignment
(06:00):
with.
Now, some of the things thatwe're going to talk about in
this episode today, as itrelates to letting go, you may
need to sit down and soul searchand think about what it is that
you do want before you can evenmake this decision.
And sometimes when you havesituations that don't go the way
that you planned or the way thatyou would have liked them to go.
(06:23):
While you may not find out whatit is that you do want.
You may find out what it is thatyou don't want, so that will
help you to become more clear.
Some of the things that we mayneed to let go of toxic people,
places and things.
You may have family members thatare toxic.
(06:44):
You may have to back up and takea break from them.
Especially if you have people inyour family, maybe they were
abusive.
You may need to just let thatrelationship go.
That also refers to friends.
Legacy friendships, you know,that friend that you've been
friends with since you were inkindergarten and it's been your
best friend for 30 years.
Sometimes you grow apart fromthem.
(07:05):
Sometimes you go in separateways.
And I have to admit, I do, likewhen I see folks that I went to
school with, or they'd beenfriends, since they were small,
I think it's beautiful when youcan maintain a friendship that
long, but sometimes you alljust, you grow apart.
You don't have anything incommon anymore.
But you're so busy holding on toa friendship that isn't serving
you, and it may not be servingthe other person, either lovers,
(07:27):
obviously being in toxicromantic relationships.
dead end and stressful jobs andreally just anything in your
life that you feel is not addingvalue.
I know that was the level ofmeasurement that I used when I
made my decisions aboutdifferent things.
Is this thing adding value to mylife, this not, why am I keeping
it around?
(07:48):
So why do we need to learn tolet go?
The biggest thing is to move onwith our lives.
We're still holding onto things.
Causing us unnecessary pain orstress or strife, they're
annoying they're outdated, theyare time draws any of those
things.
They're not adding value to yourlife.
(08:09):
You can usher out the old tomake room for the new.
Sometimes you just need to letthe ball drop on something just
for some breathing room or somefor relief.
There's not an alignment withwhere you're going.
I mean, that's prettyself-explanatory I that
sometimes we have to let go ofthings because their blockages
or their hindrances to us movingforward by refusing to let go of
(08:33):
these things, you are in yourown way, you're holding yourself
back.
We all want to live our bestlives, right?
Why not change things that wecan, why not make decisions that
we are in control of so that wecan move on and do the things
that we want to do.
You're probably asking, well,how do I know?
It's time to let something go.
I'm gonna give you somequestions to think about.
(08:54):
Some of these are going to applyto people, places, things,
situations, et cetera, as far aspeople go.
You already know what somebody'senergy is kinda funky or y'all,
haven't been vibing like that.
And it's like, mm, I don't knowif I really want to be friends
with them no more or y'all havea falling out or something like
that.
How does that person make youfeel?
(09:14):
It could be a friend.
It could be a coworker.
It could be a family member.
It could be a.
Partner.
How do they make you feel?
Well, you know, you have to seethem or you have to talk to
them.
What kind of feelings come upfor you?
If you're feeling dread?
If you're feeling fear, ifyou're irritated, you don't feel
like dealing with them.
Those are signs.
(09:35):
How did they make you feelinside?
Where do those feelings come upfor you in your body?
Do you instantly feel tense, youknow, in your neck and your
shoulders and your backs?
That's something that is also asign, how do they communicate
with you?
Are they mean, are they nasty?
Are they disrespectful?
(09:58):
How do you feel after having aninteraction with them?
Are you about to simply nolonger on the same page?
Maybe what it is that you want,what it is that that person
wants out of their relationshiphas changed.
And it's just not the same.
That may be a reason for anamicable split.
You never know.
Are your needs being met?
(10:19):
Is it a one-sided relationship?
There's the ones out ofrelationship and you're the
person doing all the doing andthe giving and the other person
is doing all the taking that'simbalance.
That's not fair to you.
Do you feel that this person orrelationship is adding value to
your life?
What are you getting out of it?
Is it a reciprocal relationship?
(10:39):
Are you getting out as much asyou put in.
Are you able to be your wholeand complete self with this
person?
That is a big one for me at thispoint in my life.
If I can't be my wholeincomplete.
So then we don't need to have arelationship.
As far as I'm concerned, as faras situations, places and beings
(11:04):
go again.
How does it make you feel isthis particular person plays the
thing causing you stress?
If, so why are you still holdingonto it?
Be honest with yourself.
Think about that.
You may not even know why, butthink about it.
As far as belief systems go, arethese self-limiting beliefs are
these things that are replayingin the loop in your head from
(11:27):
when you were a kid, things youwere taught by your parents,
your teachers, whomever arethese beliefs.
So in alignment with yourpersonal code.
So again, as we grow and evolve,our beliefs and values change.
Are these things that you'reholding on to for dear life?
Are they even in alignment withwhat it is that you think to be
true now, maybe you need to letthat go.
(11:50):
Let go of archaic ways ofthinking.
Overall, the next threequestions will this person place
thing, et cetera, help you toelevate to your next level.
If not, maybe holding you backand this time to, I go, next
question.
(12:11):
Is this person place thingadding value to your life is a
relationship reciprocal.
If not, might be holding youback is last question.
If this person plays your thingimpacting your health, your
self-esteem or your self worth.
(12:31):
Look at the answers to thesequestions, journal about these
things.
Be honest with yourself, weighthe pros and the cons of
continuing this particularrelationship or continuing in
this situation, maybe working inthis place, whatever it is,
weigh the pros and cons carveout what it is that you truly
(12:54):
need and want.
What are your deal breakers?
And then compare the list.
Do you feel that the things thatyou have written down in
journaled about areoverwhelmingly negative and you
don't feel like overall?
This particular person playsthings.
(13:15):
Situation is a good fit for youanymore.
That means that it's time to letit go and move on.
Letting go and moving on.
It's never an easy thing.
It just isn't, again, remembersometimes we're scared.
Sometimes we don't have a planin place.
(13:36):
Sometimes we don't know what'sgoing to happen from here.
Sometimes we're lazy and don'tfeel like putting in the work of
dealing with it.
Easier to stay where we'reunhappy, moving on is never
easy, but it is necessary forgrowth in our lives.
Growth happens in darkness.
(13:57):
If you want to get down here inthese trenches and do the work
that you need to do, be preparedto be uncomfortable.
Take your time, read over thethings that you've journaled.
To decide if it's a situationwhere you can let it go and move
on, or if it can be salvaged, ifit can be salvaged, get a plan
(14:21):
in place, write it out.
If it's a situation where, wantto move on, but maybe right now
it's not easel for whateverreason, maybe you're in a
relationship and you need tomake provisions to move, or you
have children.
You're trying to find a new job,but you want to find a new job
before you leave.
The one that you're on.
(14:41):
Think about what steps you needto take, write them down, get a
plan in place.
If those are things that youneed to do first, take your time
and do them because you want todo it right.
Or you want to do it with theleast amount of disruption to
your life.
(15:03):
I said all of that to say, justkeep in mind that life is too
short to be unhappy.
None of us came here to settle,to be complacent.
Nobody gave it a littlemiserable ass life.
So if you're still holding on topast situations, past
(15:24):
relationships, even if you'renot even in those things
anymore, but you're stillmentally holding on to those
things.
It's timeto let that stuff go.
Then people didn't go on and onabout their business, that job
to hire somebody to feel yourseat and you solo.
Hemming and hawing about it.
Let that stuff go.
(15:44):
If you need to write everythingdown on a piece of paper that
you want to release, do that youcan take it and you can burn it.
You can rip it up.
You can burn it and flush theashes down the toilet.
You can take it outside andthrow the ashes into the wind.
You could throw it into a bodyof running water.
You can take it to a dumpster,however you feel they need to
(16:06):
dispose of it.
Say a little prayer, say Ireleased whatever it is on this
paper, do what you need to doand be done with it.
Sometimes mental blocks hold usback more than physical blocks.
To be honest with it, mentalblock, probably holding.
(16:28):
A lot more often than physicalblocks do.
It can be very difficult toretrain your brain.
When you have a loop that's beenplaying for years and for years
and for years.
And because you have bought intowhatever is on that loop.
Sometimes that allows us to bein situations that are less than
ideal in situations.
Where have we been in our rightframe of mind?
(16:49):
We probably wouldn't have gottentangled up into, or maybe we
would have put our foot down inthe beginning.
And if some things in the bud,you know, there may, maybe it
wouldn't have spiraled out ofcontrol.
And now you're trying to figureout what it is that you want to
do, but understand that holdingon to things that are not in
alignment with where you'regoing, that does, this does not
make any sense.
(17:10):
If I know I'm shooting for thestars.
Why I'm still worried aboutwhat's going on down here on the
ground.
We go onwards and upwards, notbackwards.
I don't know about y'all, but Ididn't come here to be mediocre.
(17:32):
And neither did you.
I'm not going to continue to sayin situations where my needs are
not being met, where we'reconstantly arguing and going
back and forth where the otherperson is making demands that
their needs are met, but they'renot being reciprocal in meeting
mine.
(17:53):
I've been in situations likethat in the past.
We probably all have, but atthis point in my life, never
again.
This journey may not meet easy.
I understand that you alwayshave to do what's best for you
and putting yourself first willalways, always be worth it.
You are no good to anybody else.
(18:15):
If you cannot take care ofyourself and if your life is
cluttered and full of thingsthat do not make you happy that
do not serve.
There are not uplifting you thatare not propelling you forward,
then baby, they got to go.
(18:36):
Remember that you have the powerto change your life.
You can manifest whatever it isthat you want in this lifetime,
but in order to do so, you mustdo some things that maybe you
don't want to do.
Maybe you don't understand.
Maybe you don't feel like doing.
(18:57):
Maybe you think they're hard,but just know when you come out
on the other side, it was.
For the greater good.
You have to let go of the old,to make space for the new, make
(19:22):
the commitment to doing theinner healing work necessary so
that you can live your bestlife.
That's the whole point of thispodcast.
We've talked about this, butwe're on episode number five.
Make the commitment to yourself.
(19:42):
We only want people in our livesthat are supportive and
uplifting who make us feel good.
Who cheer us on?
Who teach us new things.
(20:04):
Again, we only want jobs thatare supportive and uplifting,
and maybe you got to go aheadand start your own business just
to get that going.
But at this point in my life, Iwant everything to come with
ease and grace finding what notlife full of struggling.
(20:29):
Takes back of your life, look atwhat is working, look at what
isn't working, make thenecessary adjustments that you
need to make.
Maybe you can shift some ofthose things that aren't working
around.
Maybe you can make somecorrections, just like some of
these situations that wediscussed in this episode.
Maybe initially you're thinkingthat you need to let go of that
(20:52):
person, that place, thatsituation, that.
Because it's stressing you tohell out, but maybe after
thinking about an assessing thesituation, having some
conversations with the otherparty, making some changes and
putting a plan in place, thatparticular connection is
salvageable.
(21:12):
That's something to think aboutas well, but you have to get to
the point of understanding thatthis is not working.
Something has to give and beingable to.
Assess that, and then once youconduct your assessment, then
you can determine what it isthat you need to do from there.
(21:32):
So I know this episode is quitea bit shorter than some of the
other ones, but for some reason,this was heavy on my mind this
morning.
I originally had another topicthat I wanted to talk about this
week, but for some reason, thiscame to the forum.
We've talked about what it meansto let go of things that no
(21:54):
longer serve us.
We've talked about why we oftendon't let go of things, knowing
that they're not in our bestinterest anymore.
We've talked about how doidentify when you need to let go
of something and the why I gaveyou journaling exercise that you
can do to reflect on the task.
(22:17):
We've talked about the processof moving on and that pretty
much wraps this topic up how tolearn to let go.
I hope you found thisinformation helpful.
Again, if you are enjoying theshow, please leave us a review
on iTunes on Spotify orStitcher.
You want to send me a messagedirectly.
You can do that as well.
(22:38):
I will put my contactinformation.
The show notes before I go, Iwill leave you all with today's
affirmation.
I affirm I release any andeverything that is not in
alignment with my greater good.
Thanks for listening.
(22:59):
Bye-bye
Welcome to the divine healingpodcast.
I'm your host, Femi the divine.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you for tuning in totoday's show.
We are now on episode numberfive, but before I get into
today's topic, I just want tosay thank you to everyone who
has listened over the past fewweeks since I released the
podcast.
(00:21):
Thank you to everyone who sentme their feedback about what
they thought.
I have to be honest with youall.
I was surprised at the.
The amount of support I receivedthe comments that I received
from you all.
Thank you to everyone who sentme a text message who sent me a
DM who left me a comment.
Who shared the podcast.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
(00:41):
This obviously is my first timepodcasting, so I'm still trying
to figure this thing out andalso understand that this
project was something that I wasnudged to do by spirit.
It fell out in a divination.
It has to do with my destiny inthis lifetime, which is to use
my voice.
A podcast was the avenue.
That was provided for me toshare what it is that I know
(01:04):
with the world.
Thank you to everybody who hassent me positive words of
encouragement.
If you are listening to the showon.
Apple podcast on Spotify on anyof those platforms that you're
able to leave a review, pleaseleave us a review and let me
know your thoughts that helpsthe show to be more visible so
that more people can listen.
If you have any questions,comments, or concerns, feel free
(01:25):
to contact me.
You can send me a DM on ourInstagram page.
You can send me an email.
You can leave me a comment.
I will leave the contactinformation and the show notes
so that you all can get incontact with me.
And just know that.
This has definitely been a laborof love for me and a lesson in
obedience, understand thateverything that I'm talking
(01:46):
about on this show, has been mylife.
These are experiences that Ihave lived.
Nothing that I discussed on thispodcast is anything that I have
not personally gone through.
I've not personally dealt with.
this comes from livedexperience.
I'm not just on here lookingdown my nose, spouting stuff.
And in the same to oppresspeople, like you all hear the
(02:07):
stories and the anecdotes that Iweave in, in these episodes,
like this is me.
I wanted it to be authentic.
I wanted to show to be genuine.
And I really just went intoshare my life experiences in the
hopes that it would helpsomeone.
I hope that you are understandthat.
So now let's get into today'stopic.
Today we are going to talkabout.
(02:28):
Learning to let go.
We're going to talk aboutlearning, how to let go of
things that no longer serve us,why we need to do that when to
do it, how to go about doing it,when we think about the idea of
letting go of things that nolonger serve you, and I feel
like that's more.
(02:49):
Trendy phrases that's bumblingaround now.
It literally means releasingthings in your life that are no
longer in alignment with yourwants and needs.
It could be a person, it couldbe a place, it could be a
situation.
It could be a thing.
It could be a belief system, butthese may be things that we've
outgrown, maybe they're thingsthat are causing unnecessary.
(03:11):
Pain or heartache or drama orstrife, or, you know, just
discomfort in your life.
Or maybe it's just somethingthat you're choosing that you
don't want to deal with anymore.
You don't want to keep thatparticular company anymore.
By holding on to things that nolonger serve us, we are doing
ourselves a disservice.
You may be blocking yourblessings coming in because
(03:32):
you're holding on to this smallthing.
But until you learn to let go ofthe small thing, the big thing
can't come in.
Also, you could be sending theuniverse mixed messages or
spirit mixed messages becauseyou're saying, okay, well I
really want this, but I'm overhere settling for that.
(03:53):
So, so which one do, do youreally want?
Sometimes we drag our feet andwe put off things and we
procrastinate and understandthat sometimes when you drag
your feet and you take too long,the decision is made for you.
So that means somebody elsemakes the decision.
And that means that you've nowrelinquished your control in
that particular situation.
(04:15):
Why do we not let go of thingsthat have run their course?
I think the number one reason isprobably fear.
We're afraid of the unknown.
We're afraid of the discomfortthat may come from letting go of
whatever it is.
If it's a person or arelationship or friendship,
maybe a romantic relationship,you may be afraid of being
alone.
(04:35):
Or you may be afraid of how yourlife is going to change without
that person in it.
You may need that person forsupport.
You know, whether it's,physically, emotionally,
financially, whatever thesituation is.
So fear, complacency, laziness,maybe we don't know how to let
go.
You may be thinking about timeinvested.
Okay.
I've been in this relationship Xamount of years, do I really
(04:57):
want to throw all of that awaynow?
It could be in denial.
10 times we in denial and wedon't realize that we need to
let go of something we're justtoo busy holding on too tight,
not being committed to yourpersonal growth journey.
Sometimes folks just standingthere like a deer.
(05:19):
Putting others in their needsbefore yours to know the reason
why we don't let go of people,places and things.
Sometimes we're not evenfocusing on what it is that we
need or want Richard busyfocusing on other people and our
needs get pushed to the side.
Our ego or pride may be in theway.
I think that's self-explanatoryand lastly wanting to be in
(05:40):
control.
But if you really think about itout of all those things that I
just listed, they all reallysound like excuses.
I understand that as we grow andevolve our needs and wants may
change, why hold onto thingsthat are no longer in alignment
(06:00):
with.
Now, some of the things thatwe're going to talk about in
this episode today, as itrelates to letting go, you may
need to sit down and soul searchand think about what it is that
you do want before you can evenmake this decision.
And sometimes when you havesituations that don't go the way
that you planned or the way thatyou would have liked them to go.
(06:23):
While you may not find out whatit is that you do want.
You may find out what it is thatyou don't want, so that will
help you to become more clear.
Some of the things that we mayneed to let go of toxic people,
places and things.
You may have family members thatare toxic.
(06:44):
You may have to back up and takea break from them.
Especially if you have people inyour family, maybe they were
abusive.
You may need to just let thatrelationship go.
That also refers to friends.
Legacy friendships, you know,that friend that you've been
friends with since you were inkindergarten and it's been your
best friend for 30 years.
Sometimes you grow apart fromthem.
(07:05):
Sometimes you go in separateways.
And I have to admit, I do, likewhen I see folks that I went to
school with, or they'd beenfriends, since they were small,
I think it's beautiful when youcan maintain a friendship that
long, but sometimes you alljust, you grow apart.
You don't have anything incommon anymore.
But you're so busy holding on toa friendship that isn't serving
you, and it may not be servingthe other person, either lovers,
(07:27):
obviously being in toxicromantic relationships.
dead end and stressful jobs andreally just anything in your
life that you feel is not addingvalue.
I know that was the level ofmeasurement that I used when I
made my decisions aboutdifferent things.
Is this thing adding value to mylife, this not, why am I keeping
it around?
(07:48):
So why do we need to learn tolet go?
The biggest thing is to move onwith our lives.
We're still holding onto things.
Causing us unnecessary pain orstress or strife, they're
annoying they're outdated, theyare time draws any of those
things.
They're not adding value to yourlife.
(08:09):
You can usher out the old tomake room for the new.
Sometimes you just need to letthe ball drop on something just
for some breathing room or somefor relief.
There's not an alignment withwhere you're going.
I mean, that's prettyself-explanatory I that
sometimes we have to let go ofthings because their blockages
or their hindrances to us movingforward by refusing to let go of
(08:33):
these things, you are in yourown way, you're holding yourself
back.
We all want to live our bestlives, right?
Why not change things that wecan, why not make decisions that
we are in control of so that wecan move on and do the things
that we want to do.
You're probably asking, well,how do I know?
It's time to let something go.
I'm gonna give you somequestions to think about.
(08:54):
Some of these are going to applyto people, places, things,
situations, et cetera, as far aspeople go.
You already know what somebody'senergy is kinda funky or y'all,
haven't been vibing like that.
And it's like, mm, I don't knowif I really want to be friends
with them no more or y'all havea falling out or something like
that.
How does that person make youfeel?
(09:14):
It could be a friend.
It could be a coworker.
It could be a family member.
It could be a.
Partner.
How do they make you feel?
Well, you know, you have to seethem or you have to talk to
them.
What kind of feelings come upfor you?
If you're feeling dread?
If you're feeling fear, ifyou're irritated, you don't feel
like dealing with them.
Those are signs.
(09:35):
How did they make you feelinside?
Where do those feelings come upfor you in your body?
Do you instantly feel tense, youknow, in your neck and your
shoulders and your backs?
That's something that is also asign, how do they communicate
with you?
Are they mean, are they nasty?
Are they disrespectful?
(09:58):
How do you feel after having aninteraction with them?
Are you about to simply nolonger on the same page?
Maybe what it is that you want,what it is that that person
wants out of their relationshiphas changed.
And it's just not the same.
That may be a reason for anamicable split.
You never know.
Are your needs being met?
(10:19):
Is it a one-sided relationship?
There's the ones out ofrelationship and you're the
person doing all the doing andthe giving and the other person
is doing all the taking that'simbalance.
That's not fair to you.
Do you feel that this person orrelationship is adding value to
your life?
What are you getting out of it?
Is it a reciprocal relationship?
(10:39):
Are you getting out as much asyou put in.
Are you able to be your wholeand complete self with this
person?
That is a big one for me at thispoint in my life.
If I can't be my wholeincomplete.
So then we don't need to have arelationship.
As far as I'm concerned, as faras situations, places and beings
(11:04):
go again.
How does it make you feel isthis particular person plays the
thing causing you stress?
If, so why are you still holdingonto it?
Be honest with yourself.
Think about that.
You may not even know why, butthink about it.
As far as belief systems go, arethese self-limiting beliefs are
these things that are replayingin the loop in your head from
(11:27):
when you were a kid, things youwere taught by your parents,
your teachers, whomever arethese beliefs.
So in alignment with yourpersonal code.
So again, as we grow and evolve,our beliefs and values change.
Are these things that you'reholding on to for dear life?
Are they even in alignment withwhat it is that you think to be
true now, maybe you need to letthat go.
(11:50):
Let go of archaic ways ofthinking.
Overall, the next threequestions will this person place
thing, et cetera, help you toelevate to your next level.
If not, maybe holding you backand this time to, I go, next
question.
(12:11):
Is this person place thingadding value to your life is a
relationship reciprocal.
If not, might be holding youback is last question.
If this person plays your thingimpacting your health, your
self-esteem or your self worth.
(12:31):
Look at the answers to thesequestions, journal about these
things.
Be honest with yourself, weighthe pros and the cons of
continuing this particularrelationship or continuing in
this situation, maybe working inthis place, whatever it is,
weigh the pros and cons carveout what it is that you truly
(12:54):
need and want.
What are your deal breakers?
And then compare the list.
Do you feel that the things thatyou have written down in
journaled about areoverwhelmingly negative and you
don't feel like overall?
This particular person playsthings.
(13:15):
Situation is a good fit for youanymore.
That means that it's time to letit go and move on.
Letting go and moving on.
It's never an easy thing.
It just isn't, again, remembersometimes we're scared.
Sometimes we don't have a planin place.
(13:36):
Sometimes we don't know what'sgoing to happen from here.
Sometimes we're lazy and don'tfeel like putting in the work of
dealing with it.
Easier to stay where we'reunhappy, moving on is never
easy, but it is necessary forgrowth in our lives.
Growth happens in darkness.
(13:57):
If you want to get down here inthese trenches and do the work
that you need to do, be preparedto be uncomfortable.
Take your time, read over thethings that you've journaled.
To decide if it's a situationwhere you can let it go and move
on, or if it can be salvaged, ifit can be salvaged, get a plan
(14:21):
in place, write it out.
If it's a situation where, wantto move on, but maybe right now
it's not easel for whateverreason, maybe you're in a
relationship and you need tomake provisions to move, or you
have children.
You're trying to find a new job,but you want to find a new job
before you leave.
The one that you're on.
(14:41):
Think about what steps you needto take, write them down, get a
plan in place.
If those are things that youneed to do first, take your time
and do them because you want todo it right.
Or you want to do it with theleast amount of disruption to
your life.
(15:03):
I said all of that to say, justkeep in mind that life is too
short to be unhappy.
None of us came here to settle,to be complacent.
Nobody gave it a littlemiserable ass life.
So if you're still holding on topast situations, past
(15:24):
relationships, even if you'renot even in those things
anymore, but you're stillmentally holding on to those
things.
It's timeto let that stuff go.
Then people didn't go on and onabout their business, that job
to hire somebody to feel yourseat and you solo.
Hemming and hawing about it.
Let that stuff go.
(15:44):
If you need to write everythingdown on a piece of paper that
you want to release, do that youcan take it and you can burn it.
You can rip it up.
You can burn it and flush theashes down the toilet.
You can take it outside andthrow the ashes into the wind.
You could throw it into a bodyof running water.
You can take it to a dumpster,however you feel they need to
(16:06):
dispose of it.
Say a little prayer, say Ireleased whatever it is on this
paper, do what you need to doand be done with it.
Sometimes mental blocks hold usback more than physical blocks.
To be honest with it, mentalblock, probably holding.
(16:28):
A lot more often than physicalblocks do.
It can be very difficult toretrain your brain.
When you have a loop that's beenplaying for years and for years
and for years.
And because you have bought intowhatever is on that loop.
Sometimes that allows us to bein situations that are less than
ideal in situations.
Where have we been in our rightframe of mind?
(16:49):
We probably wouldn't have gottentangled up into, or maybe we
would have put our foot down inthe beginning.
And if some things in the bud,you know, there may, maybe it
wouldn't have spiraled out ofcontrol.
And now you're trying to figureout what it is that you want to
do, but understand that holdingon to things that are not in
alignment with where you'regoing, that does, this does not
make any sense.
(17:10):
If I know I'm shooting for thestars.
Why I'm still worried aboutwhat's going on down here on the
ground.
We go onwards and upwards, notbackwards.
I don't know about y'all, but Ididn't come here to be mediocre.
(17:32):
And neither did you.
I'm not going to continue to sayin situations where my needs are
not being met, where we'reconstantly arguing and going
back and forth where the otherperson is making demands that
their needs are met, but they'renot being reciprocal in meeting
mine.
(17:53):
I've been in situations likethat in the past.
We probably all have, but atthis point in my life, never
again.
This journey may not meet easy.
I understand that you alwayshave to do what's best for you
and putting yourself first willalways, always be worth it.
You are no good to anybody else.
(18:15):
If you cannot take care ofyourself and if your life is
cluttered and full of thingsthat do not make you happy that
do not serve.
There are not uplifting you thatare not propelling you forward,
then baby, they got to go.
(18:36):
Remember that you have the powerto change your life.
You can manifest whatever it isthat you want in this lifetime,
but in order to do so, you mustdo some things that maybe you
don't want to do.
Maybe you don't understand.
Maybe you don't feel like doing.
(18:57):
Maybe you think they're hard,but just know when you come out
on the other side, it was.
For the greater good.
You have to let go of the old,to make space for the new, make
(19:22):
the commitment to doing theinner healing work necessary so
that you can live your bestlife.
That's the whole point of thispodcast.
We've talked about this, butwe're on episode number five.
Make the commitment to yourself.
(19:42):
We only want people in our livesthat are supportive and
uplifting who make us feel good.
Who cheer us on?
Who teach us new things.
(20:04):
Again, we only want jobs thatare supportive and uplifting,
and maybe you got to go aheadand start your own business just
to get that going.
But at this point in my life, Iwant everything to come with
ease and grace finding what notlife full of struggling.
(20:29):
Takes back of your life, look atwhat is working, look at what
isn't working, make thenecessary adjustments that you
need to make.
Maybe you can shift some ofthose things that aren't working
around.
Maybe you can make somecorrections, just like some of
these situations that wediscussed in this episode.
Maybe initially you're thinkingthat you need to let go of that
(20:52):
person, that place, thatsituation, that.
Because it's stressing you tohell out, but maybe after
thinking about an assessing thesituation, having some
conversations with the otherparty, making some changes and
putting a plan in place, thatparticular connection is
salvageable.
(21:12):
That's something to think aboutas well, but you have to get to
the point of understanding thatthis is not working.
Something has to give and beingable to.
Assess that, and then once youconduct your assessment, then
you can determine what it isthat you need to do from there.
(21:32):
So I know this episode is quitea bit shorter than some of the
other ones, but for some reason,this was heavy on my mind this
morning.
I originally had another topicthat I wanted to talk about this
week, but for some reason, thiscame to the forum.
We've talked about what it meansto let go of things that no
(21:54):
longer serve us.
We've talked about why we oftendon't let go of things, knowing
that they're not in our bestinterest anymore.
We've talked about how doidentify when you need to let go
of something and the why I gaveyou journaling exercise that you
can do to reflect on the task.
(22:17):
We've talked about the processof moving on and that pretty
much wraps this topic up how tolearn to let go.
I hope you found thisinformation helpful.
Again, if you are enjoying theshow, please leave us a review
on iTunes on Spotify orStitcher.
You want to send me a messagedirectly.
You can do that as well.
(22:38):
I will put my contactinformation.
The show notes before I go, Iwill leave you all with today's
affirmation.
I affirm I release any andeverything that is not in
alignment with my greater good.
Thanks for listening.
(22:59):
Bye-bye
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