Weddings, Weight & What They Don’t Tell You – Donna’s Story [S2E2] - The Dose with Paddy and Belinda

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
None of this conversation shouldbe taken as medical advice for
you. Before starting or changing any
medical or Wellness treatment, always consult your GP and
medical care team. Dear, dear, dear.

(00:31):
Deep breaths, Patty. Deep breaths I'll.
Be OK in the end. Oh Belinda, it is one of those
days for me. OK I need to go and do some like
bright work or something today. Bit of meditation, Paddy bit.
Of meditation. Stay away from my phone, he says

(00:52):
as he looks at his phone. Anyone look good?
Put it down, Put it down. It's making me angry today.
Linda, how are things? Good, good.
Absolutely, absolutely murdered with things to do.
Going on holidays tomorrow and absolutely up the walls today.

(01:14):
We're all good. We're here, we're going to
Turkey, we're going for two weeks into a five star hotel
that's all inclusive. And I tell you one thing, Patty,
I've worked hard for it. My God.
It's been a lot. Where's my invite?
Well, I did. Well, no, I didn't actually.

(01:34):
No, you didn't. No, no.
I. Forgot to send it.
So you're leaving me in? You're leaving me in Leithrim?
Why do you go to Turkey? Unlucky.
Well, I'll go to the local Mart.That'll be the equivalent of the
Grand Bazaar. The Grand Bazaar, that's what I
cannot wait for. I've been, I've been there about
four or five times already, but they were all girly holidays.

(01:54):
Umm, I never got to Ephesus. I never got to any of those
really beautiful places. So we've got a lot to pack in in
this holiday, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And what part of Turkey did you say?
What part of Turkey you're goingto?
Sorry. Kusha Dasi just outside.
Yeah, yeah. I haven't been there.
In the middle of it. I've been to Istanbul and I've

(02:17):
been to Gazante Ismir no Gazantep and Istanbul, the week
that lockdown came in. We literally got home on the
plane the day that lockdown camein.
So did that first stop that first speech?
Yeah. Anyway, we don't talk about

(02:38):
those times anymore. And my head feels, what have I
been up to? My head feels like I have 9
million Google Chrome tabs. That's that's I'm feeling.
What have I been up to it? So the last podcast that went
out was recorded quite a while ago because that was episode 1
of Season 2 when we met down in Limerick.

(02:59):
In the hotel that's. Right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It feels like a year ago.
It does feel ages ago. Umm, So since then what has
happened? All the stuff we spoke about in
that has since happened. Well, nearly all, in terms of
the TV documentary was on the Late Late Show.

(03:19):
Had that happened? I can't remember.
Oh, yeah. The podcast with Alan Clark has
been out. Yeah.
Your podcast that you were on will be out.
What? When did you say tomorrow?
Which is the third. So it'll be out by the time this
comes out, yes. So yeah.
So your podcast on the plus side.

(03:39):
Yeah, I'll share the hell out ofit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So.
And I'm with Doctor Mick Crotty on the Plus Sides podcast as.
Well, so lovely stuff, lovely stuff.
I don't know, Belinda's just like holding up her phone to me.
Oh, it's my Embody scan that I got done this morning.
It's my third one. It's my third one since I joined

(04:00):
the gym. So is that showing you the
difference since your last scan or since the very first one?
First, second, third. OK, and what is that telling us,
Sir? Umm, it's not giving me the date
of the first one, unfortunately.OK, OK.
Oh. Is it?
Would that be the 23rd to the 12th it?
Was a yeah screenshot is it? Yeah.

(04:23):
Yeah. And I'll.
I'll. I'll send it over to you and it
is and since I started it I was going to send it to you Paddy
first so I know I'm reading it correctly.
Umm, there you go. So since the first I think I've
lost like 4 KG. So, yeah, so saying that, so you

(04:46):
were your first one in December,uh, when you started in the gym.
So you started was Christmas week the week before Christmas?
You started in the gym, wasn't it?
Yeah, the 14th. Yes, yes, I remember that
because I remember we. Said don't, don't say my weight
now I'm so. No, no, no, I won't.
I won't. I want.
So yes. So that is saying that you are.

(05:06):
Yeah. We call it 4 kilos ish. 3 1/2
kilos. Yeah.
And three and a half, four for the crack, which is over half a
stone. Yeah.
Down since December. And Paddy, I hadn't lost
anything currently. For so long.
Yeah, so long. It's saying your muscle mass is

(05:28):
gone up 1 1/2 kilos. It dipped a little bit from the
last one, but I wouldn't be overly concerned about because
that's what she said, because your weight went down as well.
So that's important. And your body fat percentage has
gone down just shy of 5%. Yeah, isn't that brilliant?

(05:51):
That is amazing, Belinda. Yeah, these, this is the best
kind of statistics I've ever hadever had been able to reference
how far I've come in my journey.It's brilliant.
I'm delighted with it. Yeah.
I've been working hard at the gym though Paddy and Pilates and
working and stuff so. Yeah, I think you're aged wrong

(06:13):
if you're down at 48, is that not meant to be?
I'll kill you. No, I'm.
I thought it was, you know, 48. All right, OK.
I'm going to be sure we're near the same birthdays.
Yeah, you're only a few days. 50this month, 50 this month, 5049
Fuck this gives my language. That's you having me confused.

(06:36):
I I have you confused. Yeah, I know.
Oh, it's fine. I know.
Oh. Deep breath.
But yeah, the other stuff that has been.
That's brilliant, Belinda. Yeah.
Thank you, thank you. Proud of that.
Like delighted. Now, yeah.
So some people will be like, oh,half a stone in like say three

(06:57):
months. Is that really a lot or
whatever? It's like it's, but you need to
understand is why where you are in your journey and how long
you'd been stuck. And the bigger part of this is
what we call the recomposition, that you're building muscle and
you're reducing your body fat, which is like that is the golden
bliss. Point, yeah.

(07:18):
Yeah, yeah, umm, just a minute. But I love the shower curtain.
Thanks. Shower curtain.
You're welcome. Yeah.
So do you want to get, you didn't have this for our last
podcast. Do you want to John explain that
we're not recording a video for this one.
It is just an order your podcast, but what's the crack?
My office is on the landing of the house and I've so much crap
behind me on the landing, I couldn't figure out how am I

(07:40):
going to mask all this stuff. So we got a, a extension pole.
Is that? Yeah, an extension pole.
And put a clear, umm, shower curtain with kind of pebbles on
it behind me and it's perfect. Perfect.
I will have to upgrade my life though soon, you know.
Yeah, yeah, it's beautiful. It's beautiful.
Yeah. Thanks.

(08:01):
I I currently have a virtual background on because this room,
this room is oh God, when this room is tidy, take it off.
Which will be. Never it'll happen, you know,
because my sister's coming to stay when I go on holidays to
mind the cat and. This will be I've two different
people, umm coming to stay in myhouse at different times.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Umm, because it looks like a mix

(08:26):
between a charity shop, PC Worldand I'm post.
That is what this room currentlylooks like at the moment.
So it's a, it's a wonderful combination.
Yeah. The other kind of thing that has
kind of been happening is obviously I've been in in the
last podcast, I give an update that I had just started back on
Monjaro after surgery and I had taken 2.5 and A5 and I think I

(08:53):
just taken a 7.5. I think literally that's
something like that. So where I am now is I am on
12.5. OK.
How long are you doing that now?Uh, two weeks would it be?

(09:14):
I'm thinking. I'm thinking 2 weeks.
Yeah. How you finding that now?
Surprisingly more therapeutic than I thought I would.
So yeah, so the 7.5, I got a therapeutic response for a few
days similarish to the five, butnot the full what you would
normally get. And again, I'm not talking about

(09:35):
full suppression. I'm talking about the, the, the
therapeutic response kind of from it, of which suppression is
one thing, but it's the other bits and pieces they go with it
too. Umm, the 10 worked well
actually, yeah. So it did for like a got a full
week out of it and then the second week, it was definitely
that weekend and then the 12.5, I was surprised.

(09:57):
So, yeah, so we want to stick with 12.5 for another week again
and kind of see how that goes, yeah.
Try and stay on it I suppose as long as you can.
Well, that's thing. That's thing.
We'll see how it goes because before, as I've said, like 12.5
didn't really do a huge amount for me like in terms of
therapeutic response. So yeah, be interesting to see.
But no, I'm happy out. And The thing is we talked

(10:19):
before how during like pre surgery or that kind of period
of time, I regained like 1415 lbs in like 2-3 weeks.
Like very quickly. I am back down now at the weight
that I was pre surgery. So that is your 100.
Year loss. So well well I'm at 9595 so I I

(10:40):
still have like I was at 95 pre surgery so I'm like 5 lbs an
hour away from that 100. So just do you know the date
that you stopped the medication and to now how long exactly is
that? Just to give people a rough
idea. So your.
Surgery. What day was your surgery?
I actually have the exact dates the last time I was.

(11:02):
It was on a freaking spreadsheetand Paddy pulls out his
spreadsheet. Why won't you be mocking my
spreadsheet? I'm not mate, I.
Think so. It was the last time that I was
this weight that I am today was the 30th of January, 30th of

(11:28):
January. It's almost two months.
Oh, OK, that's really good. That's good at.
Two months factors in my month or a bit, whatever it was off
the treatment the. Starting point again and and
titrating. Up and that, yeah.
So in and around 8 weeks yeah this way so so we'll be a little

(11:51):
bit longer since I had taken my dose researcher but yeah anyway
so I am very happy with that very very happy yeah brilliant,
brilliant. It means kind of that I am back
on that road now to OK, I'm backwhere I was.
Let's keep going now to see Yeah, how does.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah.
When, when will I hit that 100? Like imagine if like this could
be a bit unrealistic now becausemy birthday is in like 7 like

(12:15):
like 2 weeks or two and a bit weeks yeah yeah imagine if I hit
100 LB loss for my birthday you're.
Going to work so hard. Oh my, like that would be.
Do do it and I'll be cheering you on, Paddy, you can
absolutely do it. I know you can.
You can. You can put your mind to
anything. Well, like I'll put in the
effort. It's up to how the body
responds, but I will put in the effort and look at it.

(12:37):
If I don't, I don't. But just that would be
phenomenal. I know, I know.
Just remember to keep your body fueled because that's the only
way it'll work for you. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm definitely like tryingto partize my protein again.
We know the stuff we talk about.Partize my protein.
I've some nice steaks out now, sitting at room temperature for

(12:59):
a little hour before I cook themand stuff like.
That sounds like Sean is cookingsteak downstairs, actually.
What time does it tend to do? Yeah, I know it smells lush.
Well, I can't smell it, but I'llimagine.
I know. So this week's podcast, umm, one
of the things you know, say throughout season 2 that is
really important to us is community stories and getting to

(13:21):
connect with people. And as part of that, we have a
wonderful story that we're aboutto go to now.
Uh, Donna is going to join us and I hope that you enjoy this
chat. So one of the things that is
really important to us in season2 of the dose is getting to
connect with our community. And whilst we were on a break,

(13:44):
umm, not the friends style break, Linda, but we were on a
break and we got, it was actually the, the week that we
met up. Umm, we got, uh, an e-mail
through to hello at the dose study and we actually write it
over breakfast, uh, when we met up that day and instantly both

(14:07):
of us were like, Oh my God, I would love to speak to this
person more. So I'm going to read out some of
the letter that we got. Umm, I'm a former bariatric
patient, but unsuccessful and still fighting my weight. 14
years ago I had a gastric band fitted.
I had my band fitted in a private clinic in Dublin and

(14:27):
paid 7 and a half €1000. At the time I fooled myself into
happiness. Truth was I was miserable.
I tried to join a weight loss group.
I was honest about my band and that I needed support and I was
told no, I couldn't join. Having had bariatric surgery I
was embarrassed and felt like a cheat.
I ultimately lost 3 stone through no other means than

(14:49):
starvation. I put one stone on in five
months and the shame of having to have my wedding dress let
out. I hate that my 23 year old self
thought I needed to lose weight so badly I had to torture myself
like that, but we've all been there in one way or another.
I hope my next step will be getting the band out one day and

(15:09):
being free of the weight loss struggle for good.
That's only some of the letter that we got and the person that
wrote that is Donna, who is joining us this week on the
podcast. And Donna, if I could reach
through the screen and just giveyou a.
Hug massive. Hug.
I wish I could like. Yeah.
Thank you so much for putting those words to paper, to e-mail

(15:33):
and sending it in to us. Both myself and Belinda were
just like my God, we. Have to.
We have to talk to you. Yes, soon.
As yeah, yeah. So Donna, do you want to take us
back to the moment when you decided to get a gastric band at
23? Like what was going through your
mind and like your heart at thattime?

(15:54):
It seems like a lifetime ago. I mean 14 years ago is a long
time ago. And even in regards to weight
loss, I think the world has changed so much in 1415 years.
I've always struggled with my weight, probably from, I
wouldn't say childhood, probablyfrom puberty.

(16:15):
I started to gain weight in my teens.
And when I look back now like Nah, I wouldn't have been obese.
But to me it was a lot of age girl.
And then I have, I'm one of fiveso I have 3 younger sisters and
a younger brother and my sistersnever struggled with their

(16:36):
weight. So I think I felt it a lot more.
And then I had my daughter in myearly 20s and pregnancy brought
a lot of change for my body. And I think, I think in
hindsight I probably jumped intosomething more serious than I

(16:56):
thought at the time. I don't think a lot of people
know about bariatric surgery. I know from trying to look
online for relating to people and trying to figure out what
exactly was involved because I wouldn't have been someone who
would have done something without thinking about it.
Yeah, and you, you do mention that you were following a lot of
American Youtubers, like I suppose you were looking for

(17:20):
some kind of relatability there.Yeah.
And also to see like what's the long term possibility with
something like that? Because nowadays we can see
people that are months or years into their journey while we
didn't have access to that. The doctors are telling you that
it's medically safe, The band islifelong and durability in your

(17:43):
body and stuff. But realistically, as someone
who's carrying weight and wants that weight gone one enough,
what are the chances of a staying off me?
How long might it take to lose it?
And what are the life changes that come with it?
And you want that from a person who's experienced it.
We all kind of want to relate toa lived experience.
And were you asking those questions at that time and were

(18:04):
you were you getting answers forthem?
I just found the answers and theinformation I was given was very
medical based and nobody in the clinic had had the surgery they.
Had. They had helped people post
surgery and they did. They do have a great team over
there, I will say, and the support was great even when I

(18:26):
went back years later to have the band unfilled.
They've always catered to my medical needs.
But there's more that comes withtrying to lose your weight than
medical needs, and I don't thinkI even realized that at the
time. And at that time, Donna, when
you were thinking about I need to do something, what like what

(18:49):
had got you to that point in terms of what attempts had you
tried before kind of thinking that OK, a form of bariatric
surgery might be or is the way is the only way now that I can
maybe move forward? I think the same as most people
that are listening and like yourself and Belinda trying to

(19:10):
lose the weight through calorie count 3.
And I remember doing I called celebrity Slim and I was on
shake. So I'll that I ended up with
strep throat and quite one down and I was in an hour of Weight
Watchers and in an hour SlimmingWorld like I started Weight

(19:30):
Watchers. I think I was 15 years old and
when I think back now as a womanin my birthdays, girls, I would
hate them if they pay a weekly fee for someone.
Let's not face it, there was shame involved.
In the standing on the scales inthe middle of a large group of
people and getting a clap if youlost and getting nothing if you

(19:54):
didn't. Yeah, yeah.
Well, I know I don't want to blame them completely because we
didn't know a lot better and I do.
Weight Watchers are speaking outnow about how they can accept
like the more modern technology we have with GLPS, but.
They didn't understand the mental side.

(20:16):
Side of it, yeah. That you carry as someone who's
struggling with your weight because I I'm not ashamed to
admit that there were times whenI might lose a half a stone and
my initial thought was to rewardmyself with something like.
Food. We we have all been there with
the like I used to go like againwith the simming clubs.
You'd go, you'd get weighed likeI used to go on say or Thursday

(20:40):
or Friday. And for some reason I used to
like the Friday one because I think an odd that's it into the
weekend. Now I can enjoy the weekend and
worry about it again on Monday. Grad.
What are we getting from the Chinese now?
Sure. Last plan this week. 100%.
Yeah. And that's so normal.
So normal as part of that kind of.
But sure, that's actually what got us, got us to where we were,

(21:01):
you know? Yeah, it's it's and it's funny
like you're talking there about the Doctors, what's very good
and stuff like that, that they hadn't been through the journey
that you were, you know, they were, they were supporting you
with. I had something very recent,
very similar to that, Donna, in terms of when I started on
Monjaro, that the Doctor, I, I had been prescribed it.

(21:29):
And then soon afterwards the Doctor to contact me said, I
don't know how these pens work. Could you tell me how they work?
And I'm like, oh God, you're theperson prescribing these.
Wow. I had to talk them through there
were like how many because they would have been used to Ozempic
and the clicks on Ozempic and they're like, oh, well, so like
the clicks on a Majora pen, I think it doesn't work like that.

(21:52):
It's it's a bit of a different set up.
And also the time frame within which you can use medication,
all that kind of stuff is different.
Yeah, but I did have motors likehow is the doctors asking the
patients about? How it goes?
Yeah, how this and this works like I just.
I just find that's good that's going to be become so
commonplace now because it has been prescribed in Ireland.

(22:14):
So, you know, not a lot of doctors know about it, you know,
unfortunately. So, Donna, like you would have
said to us as well that you kindof fooled yourself into
happiness. And can you talk to us a little
bit about the disconnect betweenhow people saw you on the
outside and how you felt on the inside?
When you talk about you, you arefooling yourself into happiness.

(22:38):
I thought that was interesting because I think I've probably
done that as well. I think when I had my surgery I
really pinned all my that this was going to solve my issue and
this was going to make me happy I was going to.
I have gained 4 to 5 stone sincehaving my daughter and I knew

(23:03):
that we were hoping to get married in a couple of years and
that everything was just going to be solved by losing the
weight that's. How it felt.
And I didn't even think that it would be an ongoing battle.
Eat the weight off. I thought.
Once the weight is gone, it'll be gone.
It'll never be a problem in my life.
You'll be you'll be fixed. And I taught that as much as

(23:25):
probably professionals possibly taught that as well.
I believed that and I was very open about my surgery.
I never felt a pain. I always used it as a way to
educate other people. I had other people in my life
that suffered with their weight,friends and family members, and
they were all really intrigued by it because they knew no one
that had happened. So I always spoke really open

(23:47):
about it. But I think within that first
year, I realized the weight wasn't magically falling off me.
I was having to learn a different way of life, which was
very, very difficult. Probably harder than the going
to the weight loss clinics to behonest with you.
The I suppose because you're on your own as well.

(24:09):
Yeah, I was on my own. I, I don't think I 100% knew
what I was getting myself into. In hindsight, looking back on
it, they probably believe that Ishouldn't have been allowed have
a 23. I think you should be older to
have surgeries like that. And I actually have a family
member who's in her early 20s who's had a different procedure

(24:32):
and has successfully lost a lot of weight and is very happy.
So I know there's an argument for both sides there, but I
don't believe I should have had that so young.
Yeah. And like it's interesting
because again, if we think of where things are today, that's a
whole conversation that's happening in, in multiple spaces
now about like the treatment of obesity within children and like

(24:57):
the, the new treatments that areavailable and should they be
available to children as well like they are in America and
stuff like that as. Young as 12, yeah.
Yeah, like I've, I've sat and thought about this so much and I
think we've touched it the old time before.
But like, like I do think if 12 year old Paddy was told, you
know, there's an injection you can take once a week.

(25:18):
Our 12 year old Paddy's ma'am. Yeah, like, yeah, like mom, mom
is an interesting one because even still now mom might be like
these the injection they save. Yeah, even still.
And like even after all the talking to do about it and tell
her mom, I've been with the endocrinologist, I've been with
the doctor. Like, you know, there is still
that bit of still, but like 12 year old Paddy, I think if I had

(25:42):
a thought that there was a way out to stop the bullion because
my weight, because of that kind of shame I felt because my
weight, that kind of the horror of going buying clothes in my
early teens and I probably wouldhave jumped out, you know, and I
would have, yeah. My mom would have farming as
well. Yeah, but it but it does bring

(26:03):
off that kind of, I guess kind of moral or ethical thing off.
I guess when's the right time tomake a call and, you know, on
what treatment might be right for a person.
And the same with the surgery, like when is the right time?
And you know, yeah, I think that's going to be an evolving
thing as well. But when you started telling

(26:25):
people that you were about the surgery and and stuff like that
Donna deed, was everyone supportive?
Was there healthy curiosity? Was there anyone that was like
what? Any kind of native responses?
I think a bit of everything. The majority of people were
probably curious, visit tough and didn't put their judgments

(26:50):
on me. Friends and family members were
supportive. The people that mattered.
Yeah, and there was a few strange comments, more so, and
it was on education and probablypeople suffered with their
weight or struggled with it in their life, which we've all
experienced people that don't know what it's like making

(27:12):
comments. And I don't think they they mean
it. And that it feels to us.
Yeah, it I've literally been talking about this today with
somebody about there's a particular friend, I'll say that
use a particular phrase very regularly with me and they say

(27:33):
it in the most positive way and I interpret it that way.
But someone else that might, if they're just reading it, it
could be taken the wrong way. And I think sometimes people
don't fully understand the wordsthey can be saying to us.
They might be trying to be supportive and they might be
trying to be positive, but stillthe words they're saying can be
laden with bias or laden with something like that without them

(27:54):
even realize kind of what they're saying.
It's it's an interesting one thinking about things that we
say and things we say to ourselfas well.
When you mentioned about your wedding dress and having to get
your wedding dress LED out, I didn't wear a dress for my
wedding. I didn't have the legs for it.
But I did help in my mind that Iwanted to wear a velvet jacket.

(28:20):
That's what I from, from the daymyself and Peter kind of got
engaged. I knew what I wanted to wear was
a velvet jacket. And I remembered the fear of God
of going up to first of all, ringing around the different
shops to see, did they, did theydo like a chest, I don't know,

(28:40):
54 or whatever it was at the time.
And in a velvet jacket, nearly everyone was like, no, we might
be able to get like a 48 or 50. I'm like, I'm not a 48 or 50,
unfortunately. And then I found one shop, 1
shop that had it and I couldn't believe it.
And just absolutely made, you know, kind of just made the day

(29:03):
for me, just having that velvet jacket.
But then even there was the trousers and the fear of God off
OK, the trousers. What if this split or what if
the this or that. I've gotta get 2 pairs better
have a backup pair and like all this stuff that was going on in
my head. And then even the jacket was
like, OK, I have the jacket on, but then kind of get a waistcoat
for underneath that'll hide the love handle still and all this
all this talk that goes on in her head that others around me

(29:26):
probably did not even know. Yeah was happening.
What was going on in your heads,Donna, at that time when I guess
there was the realization, OK, Imight need to change some of the
stuff to do at the wedding. I.
Remember very vividly, I wanted us to be able a normal dress
shop, not a plus size dress shopand be able to get my wedding

(29:50):
dress there. And I was down the tree stone
when I was wedding dress shopping.
And I mean the dresses that theyput on you don't fit you.
They pin you at the back and stuff.
But I could order a size that fit into that category of a
standard shop and that alone, just that it made it feel worth

(30:12):
it to me. And I think this was a year,
maybe a bit more than a year before the wedding.
And then the dress comes in maybe 8-9 months before the
wedding. And I went in for fittings and
the build up of the wedding and I suppose the longevity of how
tight I had had the band at the time I was becoming.

(30:37):
I was miserable. I wasn't becoming miserable.
I had been miserable for a while, but I was starting to
face how miserable I was. I knew I wasn't going to enjoy
my wedding. I knew the stress coming off to
my wedding was adding to my physical symptoms.
And we had booked a dream honeymoon and I was, I knew
there's no way I can go away like this and enjoy it.

(31:00):
And I know that comes down to partially filled, but that was
the reality for me. Like it's I'm not really proud
of how I survived. I put myself truer, but there
was days when I would suck on a cube of chocolate just to build
would go down. So I had the band loosened

(31:24):
partially. I told them how my symptoms were
and they agreed medically that Ishouldn't be living like that.
Loosen the band up. They explained that hormonal
from women and stress factors can make the saline pouch in the
band expand. So that's probably why I had
become quite restricted and I loosened the band, not fully

(31:48):
partially. And within 5 or 6 months I put
on a stone and then go back perfect.
And I I don't even think she meant it in a mean way but she
said to me you can't gain any more weight because we don't
have any more material. My dress had lace on the top and

(32:09):
they didn't have any more of that to build and I just wanted
the ground to swallow me up. I was so embarrassed and I
wouldn't let anyone else come with me for fittings from then
on except my best friend becauseI didn't want to be embarrassed
in front of my family and my momand stuff.
And these are people that knew my weight loss struggle and knew

(32:32):
that I had had a band, but even ashamed me even further into not
wanting that in front of family and friends.
Of course, my God, of course that's that's the last thing we
want, isn't it, for it to be pointed out, especially in front
of our loved ones and. I was just going to say before,
like in relation to that bit about being embarrassed in front
of friends and family and weddings as well.

(32:54):
When for our honeymoon, we had originally thought, oh, we'd,
we'd do a cruise. But then we kind of realized the
financial pressure of that in addition to the wedding.
Yeah, that's, that's not going to be realistic.
We'll save that for the, for the, for the anniversary or
something instead. And we've a bit more time to
save for it. But we did Orlando.
We can like we've been to Orlando a few times.
You can do it relatively cheap and cheerful, but the fear of

(33:20):
God of getting into one of the amusement rides and sorry and
the fear of God of getting into one of the seats and the
amusements and the kind of the lap bar coming down and them
trying to close it and them having to stand.
I'm not like, I mean stand forcing, forcing this bar.

(33:41):
In my God. Stomach purely to try and get it
to click so that I could stay onit.
And this was in like the bigger seats that some of the rides
had. And even with all that, there
was one of them that I sorry, it's not closing.
So in front of the entire, the entire thing with Peter and like
just, I could not just get away from that situation quick

(34:05):
enough. It was like, Oh my God, Oh my
God, I am mortified in America in front of everyone having to
get off this ride or this thing.I don't fit, it's just.
It's the epitome of being shamed, isn't it?
Do they have seats for larger people?
Yeah. So they have on some of their in
Universal Studios, that's where I normally go in Orlando.

(34:26):
And some of the rides they have slightly larger seats or
slightly different safety restraints, not on the mall, not
in the mall, but on some of themthey do.
So we are going back to Orlando this October and I'm really
hoping that this time around I'mnot going to have that worry of

(34:50):
am I going to fit now what I'd say.
You'll be fine. I know I'm hoping, but like
there's some of them that even just if you're very tall, it can
be a struggle because your kneesare hitting against the thing at
home. So it can be things like that
and not just your weight in fairness, but again, like I'm
quite broad. So like there's one of the Harry
Potter ones for example, where like I'm trying to squeeze my

(35:11):
shoulders into it and then like AT Rex sitting in it like this
because I'm like. It's never good, is it?
Yeah, I know. Sorry, but I interrupted there.
You're good. No, you're fine.
You're fine, Donnie. You just mentioned your mom
there and she's passed away since, hasn't she?
She has. I'm sorry to hear that, Yeah.

(35:32):
Her anniversary was on Tuesday. She was five years gone on
Tuesday. And my mom passed away the week
we got hit with COVID and last. And I think that trauma and the
experience of it in that week, Ialways remember Leo Radkar on
the news announcing that the place had been shut down and my

(35:53):
mom was due to be laid out the next morning.
And the funeral directors calledus that the whole team was not
allowed through. And so.
Oh, my God, yeah, of course, of course.
And and that's what I was just. Yeah.
And that's what I was just goingto get to that, like,
emotionally, how you're managing.

(36:14):
Was food still at that point your coping mechanism for all of
that stress as well? Yeah, I had this.
I don't know whether it was a real thing or not.
I know looking back on some of the documentaries, the Oprah
documentary, the Oprah documentary that I watched
recently, and they speak about our body has a set point and our

(36:35):
body defends that set point. I always found that I had this
higher way that when I didn't watch what I was eating, my body
seemed to go to that weight really, really rapidly.
But I assumed that I was never going to go past that way, that
that was my highway. And when I got to that way, I

(36:55):
need to kind of get back on the bandwagon and shift the way a
little bit. And that that time when I had my
son was 10 months old and my mompassed away and we were all
locked in our houses for months on end.
I gained another 2 stone on top of that highest weight and I

(37:19):
didn't really, I don't think I really realised how far it had
gone. And I know a lot of people
gained a bit of weight through COVID.
Life changed for a lot of us. But it was a new low for me to
get to that weight and I wasn't mentally in a place to do a lot
about it. But I knew I couldn't keep going

(37:42):
where I was or I had moved into obese category 2 and that was
shocking for me to hear. I know I don't hold a huge
amount in BMI. But when somebody tells you
you're there, then you obviouslyhave to take notice of it and
you obviously carry it around with you every single day as
well, don't you? When you see, and again, these

(38:02):
are horrible words and phrases and we've talked with this
recently, actually with a doctorthat's on the podcast as well
shortly. But like the wording of even
like morbidly obese, it's like such horrible terminology that
is used. But again, during those years
of, of lockdown, like everyone talked about like, you know,

(38:25):
the, the kind of the COVID kilosand the stuff like that that
they were gaining. And it was something that was so
tough for everyone, I think health wise, but particularly if
you're somebody that was living with obesity and you had like
very little you could do or verylittle outlets and the emotional
turmoil of that. And for, for a lot of us, that's

(38:49):
where food was, I guess a learned comfort and learned
place that we went that made us feel a bit better for a few
moments or, or whatever. And it was really tough And umm,
similarly, that's where, and I've spoke with this before as
well in the podcast, but like last year for me, that was my
moment. Like when I looked at a picture
and reach realized I was 24 stone or wasn't just COVID

(39:11):
kilos. It was the constant saying that.
That was my realization point aswell, when I, when I looked at a
photograph, umm, just four yearsago, just after I'd come out of,
umm, COVID with everything that I had gained along the way.
But yeah, yeah. So Donna, then you have been
living with this unsuccessful band for 14 years now.

(39:35):
How has that felt like on a day-to-day basis?
Or is is it just like a reminderto you every day of, or is it
just regret or just something that you've just you've just had
to live with and you've just hadto kind of suck it up as, as
they would say, a bit harsh. But you know, it's a tough thing
to live with the knowledge of it.

(39:58):
I'll go back slightly. Just around the time on my
wedding, I realized that I needed more support and I needed
more. Like I can go back to the clinic
for dietary support and stuff that's always free and
available, which is a great service even 14 years past.
But I needed real life support from people who had the same
struggle as me. And that's when I went to one of

(40:20):
the the weight loss groups that I had been to plenty times
before. And I had a chat with the leader
who was familiar with me and shetold me I couldn't join.
And have you ever spoke to her sense about it?
No, I never ever went back. Yeah.
And did she know or did you disclose that or had she just
known? I think because I had been so

(40:43):
open to people in my life about the band, I was afraid if I
didn't disclose it, that someonewould walk into the group, see
me and almost point to her. Yeah, yeah.
So I, I saw her hot and she's like, oh hi, you're back, how
are you? And I said to her, can I have a

(41:03):
chat with you? Told her I had the band fitted,
that I was two or three years out at this stage, had lost a
bit of weight but was rapidly putting it back on and needed
support. I had my wedding.
I think I was weak so from my wedding and I knew I was going
to go enjoying my wedding, enjoying my honeymoon.
I didn't want to come back another stone or two heavier and

(41:25):
she said I couldn't and I didn'teven quiz Erana.
I was so embarrassed. I just said OK.
I went home and I think I just decided I wasn't going to worry
about my weight again for a while and I decided I was.
What can I do about it? I'm going to enjoy my wedding,
I'm going to enjoy my honeymoon.And them couple of weeks turned
into another year or two of putting weight back on.

(41:49):
Yeah. And I do you know what this the
same thing happened to me as well.
And I don't think I've, I've ever spoken about this, that
when I reached my highest weight4 four years ago and I just like
yourself, tried absolutely everything, everything.
I was thinking about going for agastric band or whichever

(42:09):
surgery I was going to choose, but umm, when I chose not to go
for the surgery, I just kind of gave up.
And I just thought to myself, you know, this is it, this is
it, and you're going to either have to live with it or do
something extremely drastic. By that time, my self esteem, my
mental health was in the bin. Nobody, absolutely nobody around

(42:32):
me knew that because that's not how I present it ever.
Ever. But yeah, it's a tough, it's a
tough thing to carry with you. When you think to yourself, I've
just, this is just it now, you know, Yeah.
And that like I and myself and Belinda have had very different

(42:52):
experiences, I think off like say slimming groups and and
stuff like that. But for, I'm going to say maybe,
maybe 3:00-ish weeks, two to three, I can't remember at the
start when I decided kind of last May before, before I knew
that I was going to end up on a medicated journey, I, when I saw
that picture from Orlando and I,I was just like, oh, my God, I

(43:14):
need to do something again, again.
And I loved when you said that. Welcome back, Donna.
Because it's like it's like, Oh yeah, it's it's almost like a
cycle in, in in those rooms. A lot of times of you'll go, you
might lose some weight, you leave, you come back and it's
just a cycle over the years thatso many people are in.
I was fortunate in the sense that the leader in the local

(43:35):
group that I was going to in Slimming World was one of the
most nicest people you could meet in the world, so full of
compassion and care and just like loveliness.
And I say that every time I speak about her because just she
was genuinely so lovely to me. Umm.

(43:55):
But then when I started on my treatment, when I started on
Manjaro, I went through that thought and as well off Oh God,
do I need to tell them? Or what's the vibe of swimming
world to do with Manjaro or GLP ones Back at like, this was like
May, June time last year. So I took a step back myself

(44:17):
whilst I was trying to figure out, OK, what's their stance on
it? And then I could see that Weight
Watchers had gone down a different route where they were
like, Hey, let's embrace this. And I'm sure let's embrace it
from a commercial perspective more so is what they're
thinking. Whereas Slimming World seemed to
be more no, no, no, we're not. We're not going to buy into
these. So we're not.
No, you know, we're going to be here long, long after these.
And I just the vibe from Slimming Worlds themselves in

(44:41):
like their website and a press release that they had.
I was like, OK, so this feels like it could be awkward if if I
don't know if leaders have been told something like this.
And I didn't want to put this wonderful human in that position
of having to have that conversation with me to say,
Patty, the guidance is that, youknow, whatever.
So I didn't go back. And then I felt really bad.
And I had made the decision thenthat I was going to start

(45:04):
sharing my journey online. And the leader reached out to me
and said I'm so proud of you and.
So she reached out when she seenyou online and what you were
doing. Is it?
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so supportive and so
lovely and yeah, I've bumped into the odd time in town since
and just that that whole loveliness is is still there.

(45:26):
But the reason, the exact same thing, like the reason why why I
kind of stepped back was I don'twant the other people in this
room thinking that I'm a fraud, even though I know I'm putting
in effort still. I'm like having to watch my
food, I'm still having to do my movement and all that kind of
stuff. But there was such a huge fear
of being called like a fraud or,or something like that as well.
Yeah, I think we kind of we livewith that every day anyway,

(45:47):
don't we, just from taking thesemedications.
And Donnie, you, you had said aswell that you nearly went down
the surgical route again before hearing Paddy speak about the
medication. And then you just decided what,
right, I'm going to give this a go instead or see how, what,
like what was the research you would have done to help you make

(46:10):
that decision? So 2019 I had one and when you
mend if you have a band and you are pregnant to have a
completely unfilled and when you're breastfeeding, you don't
have any fill in it until you'repost six months or post
breastfeeding. And I had it unfilled.

(46:32):
So when you have it in you stillhave a very, very small amount
of restriction. And there's I couldn't eat like
a really crusty piece of bread or really stodgy potatoes or
something is. That because they wouldn't
digest for you or what? What was that?
So the band sits just above yourstomach where your esophagus

(46:56):
meets your stomach and it has a saline pouch on the inside.
And from the band there is a tube to a port and they stitch
the port to your ribs, the muscle at your ribs, and through
that port they inject saline. So if you imagine the saline

(47:18):
filling tightens against your stomach, so you need to eat
really small bites to go past that.
When OK, when they unfill it, ittakes more pressure off that
allowing your field to go down normally.
So I was back to being able to eat normal.
I was having a great time. I was loving food again and it's

(47:43):
almost like when you're really ill and you get past the
illness, like food is so enjoyable again.
It's so pleasurable and I enjoyed that more than I
should've. But I back to living like that
again. So I kind of fell back into the
pattern of calorie counting and people used to say to me, get

(48:07):
your band tightened like the little lad is a year old, you're
crazy, Get it tightened up. And I know, no, that's not for
me. And then I started to do some
research on the band and I was was like 910 years post surgery.
At this stage. The statistics for weight loss

(48:27):
and sustainable weight loss was so poor.
The band can slip out place and cause issues.
Did you know that at the time you were having the operation
for it? I did know about slippage.
Yeah that it is possible and they kind of explain it to you
is like if it slips it will be true.

(48:48):
Something you did like eaten incorrectly and forsome because
if I ate, say a piece of steak and I they, they recommend you
chew everything 40 times and you're really, really stick to
these rules at the start becauseyou're terrified of it going

(49:09):
wrong. And that the idea is, is that
your brain, because you're chewing so much and you're
swallowing so many tiny bits that the stomach has gone to
recognize fullness much quicker.And you also can't get a lot
down. So you'll be 20-30 minutes in to
eat And I'm feel fuller quicker from smaller amounts.

(49:30):
Very, very partially true in in hindsight, no, not really.
You're still hungry. You will.
I've spent an hour or two just trying to eat a small meal, but
I realized that I wasn't going back to that.
I will say it did teach me to eat slower and I would still be
a much slower eater than most people.

(49:52):
But yeah, going back to the research I did, it was over a
60% fail rate. A lot of places don't do it
anymore. I do stand corrected.
I said in my e-mail that the clinic I went to don't do it
anymore. They do actually still do it
because I thought I better be correct in what I'm saying.
They do still do it, but the price is now 10 to 12,000.

(50:15):
And I just think it's crazy thatpeople are saying, but they're
not given the statistics of the failure rate that come with the
surgery. And that's a really high
statistic. Yeah.
That's a really. Yeah, it is.
Yeah. So you can have a lap band or
you can have the balloon with a lower BMI.

(50:35):
So people that aren't in the higher obese category are often
for this because they're not yetlarge enough to avail of the
slave or the bypass. And that's where I was.
My BMI wasn't over 40, so I couldn't have one of what's what
was deemed the more serious surgeries.
And I am so thankful that I didn't because I would have.

(51:01):
I would have had that surgery tonever have to battle this again.
You, you, you're, when you're talking there about not being
the 40 BMI and stuff like that. This is bringing me back to umm,
God, summer 2010, when again, I was slim in the world at that

(51:23):
time and I found out that we'd been accepted to go and fill in
The Biggest Loser. And I don't know if we've said
this before actually publicly, but anyway.
And I was like, all right, I'm stopping Slimming World because
like I don't want to keep losingweight.
I'm going to go on the TV show. I need to have weight to lose on
this TV show. Like I'm sure if anything I can
eat what I want now and sure she's even if I put on a bit of
weight. That was a free pass for you.

(51:44):
Yeah, I would have done the samething, I think.
Yeah. Totally.
I was like, should she's? If I put on a bit of weight
beforehand, should that could end up being a good thing for
the TV show. Like, it's crazy.
It is crazy things we tell. Ourselves, the way, yeah, the
way our mind works. And I think as well, it always
goes back to that innate thing about the, the addiction to food

(52:05):
and the, the quietening of anxiety and the comfort that we
get from it as well. Umm, even myself being on this
medication for 2 / 2 1/2 years now, I know that that is still
all there. Every single bit of it is all
there. I know that I have learned so
much on this journey. I have spent over 2 1/2 years

(52:27):
educating myself about nutrition, about movement, about
all of the things. So I guess going back to what
Linda was saying, what you, you were looking through the
research, you're looking at the kind of the different options,
umm, obviously there was surgerythere.
Was there any other alternativesyou had looked at this time as
well, Donna? Umm, I think post tab on my son

(52:53):
and realizing that I wasn't going to fill the band again.
I would have happily had it removed at that stage.
I decided I regretted what I did.
But I'm also I, I am aware that I wouldn't be where I was if I
didn't have it done and I could potentially have have gotten a

(53:13):
lot bigger and had a lot more struggles.
So I I'm not regretful in like the choices I made.
I'm just regretful that we didn't know more than and I
didn't have more tools and I didn't have maybe a better way
to use the tool. I don't know, because I just
feel like there's a whole lot more education we have now where

(53:35):
we know better so we can do better now.
I didn't know better and I couldn't do better.
Such a good way of looking at it, though, because it's true,
Donna, It's true, you know? And what does your support
network look like now? It's very small.
To be honest, I'm not. I don't view being on a GLP as a

(54:00):
secret. I'm not a secret jabber, but I
haven't shared it with a lot of people.
There's probably only four or five people in my life that now,
and that's probably more so because I just don't need any
more opinions. And people are.
I've learned through different weight loss journeys in the last

(54:21):
20 odd years. People are waiting for you to
fail. They are.
And some of the people might saythey love you and they possibly
do love you, but they're also relishing in your failure.
Because I had friends that were happy I got fat again.
But this what is going to say is, well, it is gas the amount
of people that are saying so. True.
Yeah, that like, say at the moment me, Oh no, you wouldn't

(54:42):
want to be losing anymore. It's like, why do not want me to
be healthier? Yeah, I'm.
Still, but that's not what they're looking at.
They're not thinking about your health, Paddy.
And they say that, you know, andalso as well, I, the thing I
don't understand about this medication, amongst all the
other medications that are out there in the world, like if I'm
taking medication for my, if I had cholesterol or high blood

(55:05):
pressure, I don't go home and think the first thing you think
of goes, Oh my God, how am I going to tell people about this?
Like, and, and it's because biasand it's because of stigma that
when we take these medications, we feel, oh God, we better tell
people what we're doing or how are people going to react to it?
And, and basically, at the end of the day, it's none of the
goddamn business. It's nobody's business.

(55:28):
Do you know what I mean? As long as you have your doctor,
your partner, your husband, yourmom, your dad, or the people
closest to you that love you andyou genuinely know that they are
there to support you, then you're away for slates.
You're, you know, you're living your best life.
Not everyone has to know everything all the time, you
know, and it annoys me. I.
Wouldn't guess. And Donnie, so you touched on

(55:52):
there. You're on Isabonjari on at the
moment, isn't it? I am so to fill in the gap there
on after I realized I was I madethe decision I'm not having the
band filled again. I I embraced being bigger for a
while. I made sure that I dressed well.
I never really wallowed in my weight.

(56:14):
I always carried myself well. I was the bigger friend and it
wasn't until I had when my mum passed away and my weight jumped
up two stone pass it had ever been and me and my husband
decided we were going to watch our calories and get out

(56:37):
walking. We had more time during COVID
cause life was so slow for everyone and he dropped 10 KG
like that. He puts on weight quick enough
but he can drop us so quick and I was struggling to get 2 KG off
and I was back to the same. This isn't fair and my go to was

(56:58):
comforting myself with food again and I was just like what?
How can I break this cycle? Yeah.
It's going to be a battle forever.
I can't do this forever. But I'm I also don't want to
live in this body. I'm and I was scared of I got
bigger than I thought I could ever guess.
So how big could I really get? Because I had a tendency to

(57:20):
ignore it for months on end, notlook at the weighing scales.
I celebrated everything in life with filled.
I celebrated sadness with filled, celebrated love and
happiness with filled. Everything feel comforted me and
everything. And I then started to consider

(57:43):
the slave, the bypass. I wasn't sure which one and I
think I tied with the idea for aGoodyear.
My husband was never keen on thesurgery me having it done and I
wouldn't say I base my opinion solely on what he thinks because
I do see the difference in how we lose weight now and he

(58:04):
doesn't fully understand how hard it is to lose it.
But it would be I wouldn't want to go into it unsupported.
So we always kind of talked about it on and off.
And then I realized how much access to more options were
online. I wasn't really a big TikTok
person at the time, but having two teenage daughters soon

(58:27):
introduced me to TikTok. And then I see him, Paddy, his,
I don't know which video it was.It was one of your videos I came
across and I knew about Ozembic.I had had a friend who had done
Ozembic and it was I think maybetwo years ago.
And it was really hard to get. So she was gone months where she

(58:48):
couldn't get it. And then she could get it.
And I was like, oh, I don't really want to be down that.
And then I read up Marimanjaro. I spent a couple of weeks late
last year before Christmas research and didn't even tell my
husband I was looking into it because I can already see his
face going, oh, what next? And then I decided that I was

(59:14):
going to give healthy E in one month in January.
I was going to count my calories.
He was going to do it with me again because he had put on a
little bit more weight. And the same thing happened
again. He dropped 5 or 6 KG in January.
I lost one KG and I said, no, I've done it.
Now I know for certain that thisis a really, really difficult

(59:38):
battle from my body. I don't know what it is.
I don't know why my body doesn'tshift the weight like his does.
And I, I ordered it. I actually did a consult with
another place first and then I looked into my BMI and I decided
that that's who I was going to go with.
And I am here now. I'll be I'm 8 weeks nearly not.

(01:00:02):
Oh wow, that's really good. Brilliant.
So like now that you are like two months into it, what what's
say is the major difference thatyou can feel physically,
emotionally on this journey thanyour previous journey?
I, I remember seeing a video, I don't know whether it was on

(01:00:25):
TikTok somewhere online because I really researched every aspect
of the Internet that I caught. Even I had had my gallbladder
oh, and years ago. So I was iffy about the concern
there with gallbladder issues and pancreatitis.
And I think that scares a lot ofpeople onto trying this.
So I had done the medical research there.
And I also, I have to say, Patty, from your videos, I

(01:00:48):
wasn't going to disclose to my GP that I was doing this because
I had the preconceived idea thatshe was a slim woman who didn't
know what weight struggles were and she was going to tell me no.
But your videos encouraged me togo have a conversation with her
in January. And she was so supportive.

(01:01:09):
She did a full blood panel on meto make sure I was healthy
before I started this. And she is only on the other end
of the phone if I ever have any other questions.
She's very honest with me that she doesn't know what it's like
to struggle with her weight and she's never had to do anything
like this. But she has a lot of patience
from different walks of life on Ozempic, on Manjaro, changed my

(01:01:30):
life. Another factor last year was my
mom died of a heart defect. And I'm coming to an age now
where I need to be checked for that.
And I have put off for five years getting checked for that
because I know they're going to tell me my weight is an issue
and I don't want that put on me.But I need to have the check.

(01:01:52):
So I when I expressed that to her, she was very supportive and
telling me, I think you're doingthe right thing.
I think you're being very proactive with your health.
And she has patients on maintenance doses of this and
they are 3-4 years old Olympic users who are very happy and
successful. And to have that support, I

(01:02:13):
didn't realize how much I wantedthat support or how much you
needed it, Donna. As well.
I know it. It's so brilliant because I.
Am a huge advocate of people telling their doctor and look at
that can be an. Awkward conversation.
Depending on a on a doctor's stance, but I think from a
health perspective, it's so important if ever anything was

(01:02:36):
to go wrong that your doctor at least has a full overview of
what treatments you are on. And that's why I am a huge
advocate of it. And it's one of the reasons,
like when I was looking for where would I go, umm, myself.
Like this isn't an ad or anything of that, but like, I'm
with my BMI as well. And I actually really like.
So am I, Yeah, like, I really like.

(01:02:57):
The fact that they. Inform your doctor.
And like that was important to me, knowing that, OK, this is,
and you know, there's, there's other servers out there that
will inform your doctor too. But it's an ethical step that I
think, and a lot of people can be afraid of that.
But it's I'm delighted to hear that that was like a a step that
you took to have that chat with your doctor and also Donna, you,
you had. A really, really good experience

(01:03:19):
with your doctor as well. That's not always the case.
In fact, more often than not, it's it's not the case.
Yeah, it is shifting though, I mean.
It is. It is now because it's available
to be. Prescribed.
And they feel that they need to kind of move along with the
times, which is fantastic. Yeah, like we did or I did.
A server thing on Instagram they're asking.

(01:03:43):
People. Umm.
If they have discussed their kind of their treatment or their
concerns or stuff like that withtheir doctor, umm, has it been a
positive or negative experience?And I think it was 61% of people
said that it was positive. So it's it's, it's it's tipping.
It definitely would not have been that last summer.
I know it wouldn't. Yeah, it would have been.

(01:04:04):
But it is coming up. That's great.
Yeah, that's great. Still, yeah, still a huge amount
of room to go. Like I mean. 4 out of 10 people
to go to the doctor shouldn't have a negative experience for
talking about their weight, you know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then if you have.
Issues with weight and you do goto your doctor and it's not
about your weight like nine times out of 10 it's got they're

(01:04:25):
going to tell you, you know, lose some weight and it'll get
better. But it's my finger doctor.
Yeah, if you lose some weight, you'll be I know it's not it's
not funny, but that's just how it is, you know?
Yeah, it is. It's almost like a for for some.
Doctors an easy card for them toforce before they even do any
proper assessment and stuff likethat.

(01:04:47):
But I guess to bring it back to where we started then Donna as
well about kind of 23 year old you and the the place that
you're in at that point and where you were in your life at
that point. I'd love to think looking back
now on all of the experiences that you've had, the challenges

(01:05:08):
that you've had, the moments of joy, the moments of sadness that
you've had along the way. What would Donna today say to
that younger version of yourselfthat was in that place of
feeling caught or struggling or,yeah, trying to figure out a
path forward? I think ultimately.
I would want her to know that she's so much more than her

(01:05:28):
weight, but I'm not really sure how I would reassure her.
I don't think we're there yet ina way where we can say don't
worry about your weight because ultimately I'm still here nearly
20 years later and my weight is still an issue.
I think I'm learning now that it's an issue, like Belinda

(01:05:51):
said, it's an issue that some people struggle with, like they
struggle with other medical issues and it's OK to need help
with it. You don't need to fix yourself
from it and be cured, which we didn't know back then.
So I wouldn't blame anyone for not knowing that.
But maybe tell her there are stuff coming that will help you

(01:06:13):
and you will get there. I don't know, because wasn't.
Yeah. It's hard knowing what you know
now though. I suppose you know about the
journey that you've just started.
I guess that the difference between back then when you were
a 23 year old getting that and the difference between you being

(01:06:35):
the age you are now two months into this journey does it?
I'm sure there's a massive, massive difference.
You know so much. That's why I.
I said about I feel I was too young to make a decision like
that. I'm not really against people of
a young age having help with their weight.

(01:06:56):
Like both of you said, if someone had been able to offer
you GLP when you're a teenager, it could have changed your life.
And the same for me. I may not have then gained so
much more weight on, but I just think surgery wise for me, I was
too young to make a decision like that at the time.

(01:07:19):
And so much had happened to me in the year beforehand.
Becoming a mother, having the responsibility, growing up so
quick when you have a child in your early 20s and you're still
young, you're still only 23. But I thought the changes that
came to my body and I just wanted it fixed.
I didn't want to worry about it anymore.

(01:07:41):
And I just wish I didn't feel that way.
I wish I could go back and tell her that, like, you're so much
more than this. Your weight is not defining it.
It did at the time. It defined me, and I wasn't
someone who wallowed in my way. I covered it up.
I was same. Yeah, same.

(01:08:01):
Yeah, and I just wish I hadn't been able to.
Be more honest about it as well to people and open up.
But there was a lot of stigma and shame and like the weighing
it in front of people and the classes.
Like you didn't realize at the time how shameful that was and
stuff. When you think back to stuff, it
kind of sounds crazy now that wedid that towards that that yeah,

(01:08:22):
that thinking back now it. Does it does, doesn't it?
And Donna, did you ever feel I just this is just out of my own
interest. Did you ever feel, and Paddy as
well, that like when you were heavy and you were getting
heavier and especially in your younger years, did you feel like
you had to construct a personality that would carry you

(01:08:46):
through to compensate for your size?
Like being the funny one, being the helpful one, being the good
listener, things like that. For me, I don't know.
Whether it's something I constructed because I struggled
with weight, but I always would have prided myself on being a
really, really good friend. And I would like to think I

(01:09:07):
won't lose that as I lose weight.
I think I was always the really strong person and in the group
of friends, I was always the onethat spoke up and very
opinionated. And I would answer the same.
I was exactly the same, yeah. Sarcasm.
Wait a bit. I wouldn't say I'm.
Funny as in comedic, but I was. I'm quite witty and have a

(01:09:31):
sarcasm about me that would entertain my group of friends
and but then I would realize when it comes to going on a
night out and actually getting dressed up, no Hated it.
Hated the worst. Worst situation if you're going
to a summer evening in the Bear.Garden, Oh my God, I'd be
sweating because I'd have the blazer on me to cover me up.

(01:09:53):
And that was that was to pass mycomfort sound.
And I think my friends were like, that's weird because she
likes going out and she likes going for food.
I like going for food and cocktails.
I don't want to go somewhere where I have to wear a little
summer dress or yeah. So it was kind of a polar
opposite of my personality. And I think my friends were

(01:10:13):
like, what? Because I never said no.
Well, we wouldn't. We would never say.
Would we? You know, you were probably the
same Paddy. Yeah, I like for, for me it.
Was like, I don't, I don't thinkI constructed a personality
type, but I definitely would have had, I guess an inner

(01:10:37):
personality that a lot of peoplewouldn't have identified with my
outer personality, a personalityI would have known.
And again, exactly, I think similar to what Donald was
saying before that idea are maybe put in the US.
Like on the outside, I would always have been the happy go
lucky bubbly, cheerful 1. And I am honestly like, that is
my personality. It's not a construct.

(01:10:57):
But inside, definitely I would still have had those other
thoughts or other fears or oh God, like just how I would look
or how I'd feel or who else is going to be there or feeling
intimidated around other lads myage or, you know, if I wear this
to comparison as well, constant comparison to your peers.
And yeah, like getting ready fora night out.
That was the fear of. God, like really was like I I

(01:11:21):
don't enjoy like going out out like even now I don't like.
It's not something I enjoy. But and to Add all that on top
of it, like you'd add even the fact that you're saying, even
the fact that you're saying out.Out means you're too old to go,
but like I put the. T-shirt on and I'd put like the
two arms inside it and try and flap almost to stretch the
T-shirt like or like the concertwhen you're sitting down, like

(01:11:43):
pulling the T-shirt or looking for a cushion to put over the
belly. And that that it'll be my
evening. Not enjoying it.
That'll be what my evening will be in a night out.
Or or trying to stand behind other people in the group.
Or trying to hide yourself in photographs.
They're the worst. They're like I'm, I'm
definitely. Better with them now, but
they're the worst. So Donna, conscious of time as

(01:12:04):
well, I'd love to know maybe to wrap it up, where is your head
at now in relation to the futurefor you it feels?
Free and I remember watching Godendless amounts of videos of
people who are starting lots of went through all your videos

(01:12:26):
Paddy. Then I got onto Belinda's page
and I was actually loved the fact that he's had completely
different experiences because you don't know where you're
going to fall. Are you going to be a fast
loser? Are you going to be really slow?
You're going to be somewhere in the middle.
So it was great to have that perspective because I think I
would have been disappointed hadI have only watched fast losing

(01:12:46):
fast responders. And I think I felt like people
talk about the field noise that you won't know until it's gone.
That's so true. You don't realize how your brain
is consumed with what am I goingto eat next?
And I used to save 200 calories every day of my calorie count to

(01:13:10):
have a piece of chocolate, maybea Biscay or my favorite pack of
crisps or something like that asa reward.
So I'm still a reward myself fulfilled, even though I was
restricting my calories and I didn't realize that concept that
I was down to myself even withinstaying and weight loss
calories. And I don't do that anymore.

(01:13:32):
And it's it's crazy. Like I look back now and I'm
going on to week 9 on Saturday and I'm like, I didn't even
realize that stopped. I did.
I did probably. A.
Couple of days into it I did finally realize the field noise,
the feeling of the field noise leaving your body and you're
suddenly aware that you aren't consumed with them.

(01:13:53):
Tots I do a lot of education andtalking on autism and ADHD and
they talk about the the ADHD brain and how sometimes
medication if it works really well for them, it can turn off
that chaos in their brain and itfeels a little bit similar same

(01:14:15):
same for us isn't it because we.Are so chaotic within within
food binges within within the yeah well some more than others
Paddy, but it is it is it is andit's the and like you're saying
you know you do not realize thatthe food is there until it's
gone and the food nice is there until it's gone.

(01:14:35):
You know it's crazy. Donna, thank.
You so, so, so, so much for taking time out to come in and
have. Yeah, we really appreciate it.
Thank you so much. You've been brilliant and like
such an interesting. Story and I think for various
reasons, different people are going to be able to resonate
with different parts of your story and whether it be the

(01:14:56):
bariatric part or the the emotional part of the, the
journey that you're starting outon now.
And so thank you so much and do keep in contact.
We really do. Want to know how you're getting
on? Absolutely.
Yeah, yeah, just moved. Up my dose.
So I did 2 on the two prime 5 and I just moved up.

(01:15:17):
So things are going quite well. I think.
I feel like this could be it like it's an amazing feeling,
you know, like that. I it's like something took
somebody took that fight away and it's, it's easier like, so
it's actually so emotional. Hearing you say that, Donna,

(01:15:37):
because that's literally the feeling that it gives everybody.
And until it all of that leaves you, you just don't know that
you're carrying it. And it's not, it's not just a
physical. Saying, but literally it's like
the weight has been lifted in somany ways, not just physically,
but like it's it. It's like, oh, I can exhale and

(01:16:03):
I can 100% I can live. And it's like you've.
Been walking around your whole life?
Holding your goddamn breath for something to happen.
And eventually we we. Yeah.
And eventually we find this. And we never even knew we were
holding our breath. You know, That's a good.
I like that one, Belinda. Hmm.
Yeah, Well, look it. We will let you go, Donna.

(01:16:23):
Thank you so much. Really, really appreciate it.
It has been a pleasure talking to you.
And as Belinda says, definitely,please, please, please do keep
in touch. Absolutely.
So much I look. Forward to Season 2.
Thanks SO. Hopefully you enjoyed that folks
and again, our thanks so much toDonna for joining us for that
conversation. Like what a story, Belinda.

(01:16:44):
Like my goodness, Like I. It's unbelievable, isn't it?
And she was just so gracious as well.
With her. With all of the information on
her time, so open and honest andI think.
There's so many different parts to that story that will resonate
with people, whether it's so many different people, so many
different people, exactly. You know whether.

(01:17:05):
People are on or have been or thinking about the bariatric
side of things. Those feelings are in the
wedding time kind of moving on to like they're so heartbreak as
well. All of that, all of that.
And how it all affects you, you know, especially, especially
mentally and emotionally. You know, people forget about
that side of the journey as well.

(01:17:26):
Yeah, but the total? But yeah, Donna, thank you so
much for joining us this way. It was such a pleasure to get to
spend time with you. And we would love to check in on
Donna's story over the next few seasons as well.
And kind of, yeah, that's absolutely going to.
Belinda, do we know? What we have coming up next week
on the podcast. Absolutely not, Paddy.
No idea, nothing to do with me. That's that's Future Belinda's

(01:17:49):
problem. That's my new.
Mantra in life. It's like the back of my hair,
Paddy. It's nothing to do with.
Me, I can't see it. That's like me.
It's like when I'm. Ironing something, if it's under
a jacket, it's like, no, I just ironed a bit.
People can see. Anyway, folks, we hope you have
enjoyed week two. One thing I would love to ask

(01:18:11):
you to do. OK, if you have enjoyed the
podcast, please would you do a review on on Apple podcast,
wherever you're listening? You can go in, do a little
review. It would really, really help us.
Tell your friends about it, you know, share it.
It means a huge amount to us because we do put a lot of
effort into it. So I do.
If you like it, tell everybody. If you don't.
Tell us yeah if you don't like us.

(01:18:35):
Yeah, just e-mail yourself and have a little chat with.
Yourself. Yeah, I know, I know.
I'm so excited. I need to figure out the podcast
I know. I'm bringing my stuff with me,
Paddy, it's fine. Are you?
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I I'm this isn't, this isn't

(01:18:56):
work like it's not hard work. And and I get so much more from
doing so much from doing this aswell as the same as my
subscribers and all the girls I talk to on Instagram all the
time. All of that helps me.
He just doesn't much as much as it helps everyone else, you
know, like yourself. Yeah.
Yeah. Could I tell you?
Where I'm off to now. Get your nails done.

(01:19:16):
Yep. I've had two.
Fatalities already on my nails so well, you there?
Yeah, you can. I could do again when they're
longer than yours. We're sticking our.
Fingers up at each other becausethis is not.
Being recorded. But next week's, yeah, we'll

(01:19:38):
see. We, we, we have a couple of
things back. We've been good to say anything.
No, we won't. We do something.
Yeah, we do some very cool things and some cool guests.
We'll see which one will we get in for next week.
Belinda, hope you have a wonderful holiday.
It's very well deserved. I cannot wait to have a bit of
peace and quiet. My WhatsApp won't know what's

(01:20:01):
hit. It'll be like she hasn't pinged
in five. Yeah, I swear I talked.
To you more than I talked to. Peter.
Don't tell anyone. That, but I feel the same.
OK, Belinda, all the. All the shit we talk about, they
wouldn't. Respond to us.
Yeah, I know, I know, I know, I know.
OK, have. A wonderful holiday.
Cheers guys. Bye.

(01:20:37):
None of this conversation shouldbe taken as medical advice for
you. Before starting or changing any
medical or Wellness treatment, always consult your GP and
medical care team.

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Weddings, Weight & What They Don’t Tell You – Donna’s Story [S2E2]

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