In this incredibly real and compassionate conversation, I’m joined by breakup coach Cole Zesiger, whose down-to-earth wisdom and lived experience make him one of the most relatable voices in the breakup and healing space. Cole just wrote his first book, Ex’s and No’s: The Breakup Advice You Don't Want to Hear, and wow… this episode delivers exactly the kind of clarity, comfort, and practical guidance you’d expect from him.
Together, we dig into a struggle so many people face this time of year: the temptation to get back with your ex during the holidays — and the loneliness that often fuels it. Cole shares grounded, realistic tools for managing loneliness in healthy ways, especially when the world feels festive and you’re just trying to hold yourself together.
He offers thoughtful, applicable advice on:
- Navigating loneliness during the holidays while going through a breakup
- Building a stronger relationship with yourself
- Handling those “should I text them?” moments
- Caring for your emotional and physical wellbeing
- Understanding why New Year’s and Valentine’s Day are statistically the biggest breakup holidays — and how to prepare for them
- Moving through the shame of feeling like you’ve “failed” after a breakup
- What to do when you do slip up and sleep with your ex — and how to recover with self-compassion rather than self-blame
Cole also opens up about his own journey, including taking the MCAT 18 times, being rejected from medical schools 50 times, navigating divorce and breakups, and how every detour ultimately led him to his purpose — and to writing his book. His honesty is refreshing, validating, and such a beautiful reminder that being human is messy… and that you are never alone in it.
Cole brings warmth, humor, and grounded truth to a topic that so many people feel isolated in — making this episode an incredible companion for anyone navigating heartbreak, loneliness, or holiday emotions.
If you connected with Cole’s compassionate, relatable wisdom in this episode, you’re going to love his book. Pre-order Ex’s and No’s: The Breakup Advice You Don’t Want to Hear on Amazon or Barnes & Noble — link in the show notes!
Cole's website: https://coachcolezesiger.com/
Cole's IG account: https://www.instagram.com/coachcolezesiger/?hl=en
ABOUT AUTHOR:
Cole Zesiger is a breakup and relationship coach specializing in breakup recovery, dating advice, and relationship coaching. After a divorce at 23 and another breakup soon after, he began sharing his journey on social media—growing to over 750,000 followers across Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and more.
He has coached 2,000+ people through heartbreak, helping them either rekindle relationships in a healthy way or move on with peace. His practical approach blends psychology, attachment theory, and real-world strategies to guide people from heartbreak to healing.
When not coaching, Cole enjoys time with his wife and daughter, playing guitar, dirt biking, and exploring the mountains. His debut book, Ex’s and No’s: The Breakup Advice You Don’t Want to Hear, offers a prov
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