Building Your 20 Strengths List: A Confidence Boost for High Achievers | Ep 85

It's interesting if we only exclusively focus on what we need to improve, while ignoring our natural strengths. You're not alone if this is you. This tendency is especially common among driven, ambitious individuals who constantly push themselves toward higher achievement.

In this motivating episode, Dr. Kyle introduces an unexpectedly powerful exercise: building a list of 20 personal strengths. This isn't about inflating your ego – it's about creating balance between self-criticism and self-acknowledgment. Most high achievers readily identify weaknesses but struggle to recognize their natural talents and skills. By deliberately cataloging your strengths (from practical abilities like analyzing information to personal qualities like enthusiasm), you create positive reinforcement that builds confidence and momentum.

The beauty of this approach lies in its simplicity and profound impact. When you acknowledge what you're good at, you can double down on these strengths rather than constantly feeling inadequate. Dr. Kyle emphasizes that leaning into your authentic qualities attracts like-minded people while creating space for those who might not resonate with your style to find connections elsewhere. This strength-awareness transforms how you tackle challenges, replacing self-doubt with the empowering realization that "I can do this."

Dr. Kyle invites listeners to complete this "homework" by creating their own list of 20 strengths and even offers to review them personally. Take the challenge – your confidence and performance might thank you. And as always, if you're dealing with physical pain or injuries, reach out for professional help to get you back to your driven, active lifestyle.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
If you're a driven, active person who wants to reach
and pursue a higher qualitylife with some ambition, then
guess what this podcast is foryou.
This is the Driven AthletePodcast.
What's up?
Y'all?
It's your man, dr Kyle.
So this is an interesting thing.
I saw this recently Actually,no, I took it back.
I saw this a couple of yearsago.

(00:20):
That I really like.
Building a list of 20 strengths,I think, is really helpful.
All right, so we always, ifyou're a driven individual and
ambitious and you have goals andyou want to do stuff, the
things we always look at is whatdo I need to improve?
What am I bad at?
What areas of improvement arethere?

(00:41):
And you write out negativethings, which is I mean you need
to do that.
You need to take a filter offand have an unfiltered look with
no lens.
Pure look at, like, what youneed to get better at.
Otherwise you're going to bestifled and stagnant.
Where you're at, totallyunderstandable.
Where are my areas ofimprovement?
Cool.
But if we're always focusing onthat, it's almost like a

(01:03):
negative self-talk.
Sometimes, if it's tooaggressive or consistently
unchecked, that's the only thingwe're feeding ourself.
I also like positivelyreinforcing things that we're
good at, as in like building alist of 20 strengths, which is
kind of a long list, 20 thingsthat you're good at and that

(01:26):
you're solid at that you thinkyou have the knack for that's a
long list.
I feel kind of weird writing it, but I like looking back at it.
I just thrive I know for mepersonally I know a lot of
people with similar but verysimilar to me, but I thrive off
of positive reinforcement.
I like tell me what I'm doinggood at and I'll double down on

(01:48):
that.
It just reinforces the thingsthat we're good at and it makes
us feel more confident and itmakes us feel like we have more
agency and more wherewithal anda feeling, ultimately, and
self-esteem and a feeling that Ican do this.
I could do this.
Okay, here's my areas ofimprovement.
This isn't for the rationale oflike building, inflating

(02:10):
someone's ego and be like I'mamazing.
It's more of balancing out theareas of improvement list and
the areas of I am good at thislist too, but also be realistic.
Right, like I'm really good atbeing a charismatic superhero.
It's like all right, dial itback.
Specific things that you're goodat right.
It's relax Things that youthink you're good at right.

(02:35):
Hey, I'm good at readingsomething and analyzing the main
points Okay, what else are yougood at?
I'm good at talking with peopleand getting a good rapport
right Pretty quickly Cool Stufflike that.
What else are you good at?
I'm good at staying consistentwith going to bed on time, that
I set my, that I want to go tobed on time at right.
I'm also good at this.
I'm just saying, like, theseare examples that you can take

(02:57):
with you, and then things thatthere's improvement.
That would be like I need toimprove my consistency with
watching Instagram less,scrolling less.
That's an area of improvement,but I am good at not watching TV
.
Okay, that's good, thatbalances it out.
I'm good at oh man, there's alot of things you could write
down that you're good at Seeingthe best in people, recognizing

(03:23):
when somebody has a need, likeempathy, right Stuff that I can
help make people feel I can makepeople laugh, right, if you're
witty and have a good sense ofhumor.
Have a good sense of humor,let's say those were on the list
for a person for the 20strengths, all right, that just
helps with positivelyreinforcing things that you feel

(03:43):
you're good at.
You could double down on thoseand then lean into them.
I think it's okay to lean intoit If somebody's like I have
great.
Another thing I'm good at isjust let's say this is not me
personally.
Let's say somebody isenthusiastic, actually, okay, I
take it back, this is me Allright.
I'm good at having high energyand enthusiasm.
I've been told by multiplepeople that I get very

(04:04):
passionate about what I believein and what I want to do.
If I like something, I'm intoit, I'm knowledgeable on it and
I think I can help people withit.
I'm very passionate.
I'm good at being enthusiasticand passionate about a topic
that I'm into and I've been toldby people sometimes if it's
sports or other stuff, like,yeah, you know, calm down a

(04:27):
little bit.
And then I've been.
I'm like no, I've been told bysome people otherwise, but like,
oh, lean into that, double downon that, double down on the
passion and enthusiasm.
And if somebody says it's toomuch, then the response could be
then find somebody else, I'mnot bothered, I don't care, I'm

(04:48):
not hurt by that.
That's totally fine, dude, doyou?
I'm not going to live my lifeand tailor it towards somebody
else's needs.
I'm going to double down andlean into the things I'm good at
.
If it's a productive, healthything for what you want and what
you're doing in your life, I'mokay with.
Lean into that.
Double down on the enthusiasmand the passion You're going to

(05:09):
attract people that arelike-minded and are into that.
And if somebody's not into it,like it's okay, then find
somebody else.
I'm not for you, then that'sokay.
I'm not bad at you, but noteverybody's for everybody.
That's why I don't care, it'sokay.
Right, maybe I can point you ina direction.
Maybe somebody is a little bitdialed back on certain topics
and passion, that's okay.

(05:30):
But anyway, I think writingcould be a cool little exercise
for a person to write out a listof 20 strengths that they're
good at, that they have theknack for, that they've been
told that they are positiveattributes about yourself.
It just helps with confidenceand reinforcing momentum and
self-esteem and agency to thencarry on the things for the

(05:53):
goals you have and also thestuff that you need to improve,
versus always just negativeself-talk or just it could be
perceived that way.
It just helps with positivereinforcement and you can tackle
things maybe better and youcarry yourself with better and
more confidently.
It's like I can do this.
It's been really helpful, and Ihave all my team members do
that too when they get onboarded.
It's just been an interestingthing.

(06:14):
And then going over it withthem, it's just.
Also.
It's been cool and interesting.
So I would encourage y'all totake on that too.
It's just a cool littleexercise.
So if any questions, don'thesitate to reach out.
This is a short one.
Today I just wanted to, um,throw this out there.
It's so much homework.
I have homework for you.
I want y'all to do this foryour homework and then, uh, if
you feel uh, feeling froggy likeemail to me, we'll go over it.

(06:36):
I like this stuff.
This is cool, um, and we canreview it right.
And then also, I think, wouldthat be like?
This is awesome?
Now let's review areas ofimprovement that you want to get
better at.
Take this with you, for sure,and then also let's work on some
stuff.
It's a good balancing act, butanyway, reach out.
If you have any questions,comments, questions concerns,
conflicting opinions, email meyour list.

(06:57):
I think it'd be reallyinteresting to check it out and
get some opinions on some otherpeople.
It'll help reflect on my ownlife too.
It'll help reflect on my ownlife too, and if you have any
pain or you know anybody that'sin pain battling it.
I want to get better physicallywith, like their shoulder,
their back, their neck pain,their back, hip pain, knee pain,
whatever.
Doesn't hesitate to reach out.
You can always give us a callor an email.

(07:17):
We'd love to help you guys, andwe'll see y'all next time.