Unveiling the Journey - TDP #100

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As we celebrate our 100th episode, we take a deep breath and look back at the winding road that brought us here. We've explored the nuances of language translation, unlocked the secrets behind skill acquisition, and navigated the labyrinth of self-discovery. We've also shed light on the power of perception and our intricate relationship with cycles in our lives. Can you imagine how our journey has shaped us, and how it might shape you?

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to the driftwood podcast.
I'm Daniel the wizard and, yeah, we're gonna talk about some
shit.
We got James Perceval hereagain.
This is episode 100.
I just want to point that out.
I said last time you guys wait,you guys wait, come check it
out 100.
We got something special.
What we about to see, it's Cn.
It's Cn.

(00:22):
Cn yeah for 100 oh yeah, I justwant I just want you guys to
know.
James is armed with the computerand Google right at his hands,
so he will fact check himself.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
I knew it was gonna be Cn.
I was just.
I didn't want to do Spanish, Iwanted to do something else like
a different language, likeGerman, french, french friends,
let's go German, I'll go.

(00:40):
German, german episode 100.
Just yeah, 100.
Hit the oh, you can't hear,it's unhindered, and I'm in hunt
and hundred.
I'm feeling it's gonna be nine,but it's not nine, that's.

Speaker 2 (00:59):
It's like what?

(01:00):
nine, nine what about in Hebrew?

Speaker 2 (01:03):
oh, geez, I don't know.
Let's say, oh, there's a hole,my god, there's a whole list of
about Persian.

(01:09):
I can't even read that, bro.
It's like squiggly lines likePortuguese sim.
Well, we're assuming that itmakes the scene, or?

Speaker 2 (01:18):
maybe it's Jim, that's not Jim.

(01:20):
It would have an accent mark.
I don't know bro.
Why are we talking aboutlanguage?
We are not.
It's not language.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
It's, it's, it's, it's a translation translation
translation.
Yeah, well, you just had some,you said some flashbacks company
.

(01:33):
So so type in episode 100.
Episode 100 in Spanish Frenchit's pretty close to the same.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
Oh, really, oh gosh translation.

(01:50):
Translation let's see what it says.
This is really how we'restarting this episode.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
It says translation Okay, here we go episode 100
episode Episode I was trying totype it in French.
Episode in French French let'sgo to French.

(02:12):
Let's French.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
It is every episode.

(02:17):
That's Italian man.

Speaker 2 (02:21):
I don't know where you got that Episode 100.
It's a me, mario.

(02:26):
Episode.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
Episodio no it's 100.

(02:32):
Episode 100 Episode 100.

Speaker 2 (02:36):
Except it says 100 anyway.

(02:38):
Yeah, but you still have to say 100 in the Spanish way you
do, but Translated.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
Because numbers are, but uno set of service, just one
.

(02:48):
Not that I didn't say that numbers yeah 100, the same as if
you were to say like a streetaddress.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
You know, the thing is, is we typically Butcher the
language we, we we yes, who's we?
What now means?
Yes, french we.

(03:06):
Do so you can't just be switching up language on me,
because we in Spanish isdifferent than we in English we?

Speaker 2 (03:12):
in Spanish there is no we, that's no, no, so trust.

(03:16):
No, so through us so to the Somos.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
Pretty sure that's what it is.
I'm a fact check myself rightnow In Spanish.
Look at that shit man.
No so to us or no so to us,depends on your context, what
you're talking about.

(03:34):
Mmm, yeah, mmm.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
It's too complicated to the masculine or feminine man
.
It's nothing else, let's justgo there.
Is there like a universal, whenit's universally speak they
right, they them no, I think ifwe're talking about like Spanish
I think it is, if I remembercorrectly please don't check me
on this I'm pretty sure it'smore feminine.
So when you, for example, whenyou say como estas, hello, are

(04:04):
you hold on?
No, that's a whole differentpoint I was gonna make because,
like when you're talking to anelderly Hispanic lady, you say
como estas ustedes.

(04:13):
Mmm, that's more proper.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
I think so.
It's a proper part of it, butbut I think most words in
Spanish have more of aneffeminate ending, so Maestra or
Maestro will like Nina, youknow, yeah, male child, female
child right.

(04:27):
So, but when you're talking about Children in general, what
would be the pluralization?
Would it be?

Speaker 2 (04:33):
my question is why did you say male child or female
child?
Why did you say boy or girl?

(04:37):
Because I'm given the trans.
The trans, what the translation?
Wow, this is a, this is a allright, so some things have been
going on.
Yeah yeah, episode 100, dude, Ididn't.
I'm gonna be honest with let me.
Let me sit with this for asecond, because I'm gonna be
honest with you, I didn't.
I Never had a plan to get toepisode 100.

(05:00):
Seeing the sea that they callit so see into the con es so me
sit with it that might be thenew shirt.

Speaker 2 (05:09):
You know what I might do?
I just might type in everything.
I'm gonna respond to you.
We're gonna be multiculturaltoday.

(05:16):
Well, listen, listen, man, if I'm, and then I didn't have a
plan to make it a hundredepisodes, I didn't have a plan
to.
I don't want to say that to thepoint of Sometimes just doing
is enough to get started.
You don't have to have a planto get to a hundred episodes.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
I agree.

(05:36):
I agree, I gotta start doing it, you do and then you get to a
hundred episodes and yourealize, damn, I have a plan.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
I'm gonna try to find some real quick.
Keep talking, you know what myplan actually was.

(05:47):
My plan was to talk to people and it's gone all according to
plan, right?
So, man, this is doing thispodcast.
Shit is it's put me in a, it'sput me in a different, a
Different way of living life,right, because now I'm seeking
conversation as opposed to, likeI don't know, just existing, I

(06:09):
guess would be the best way tosay it.
Mm-hmm.
I think before I would probablysit and look for conversation,
but I was really scared to talkabout things you're waiting for
something instead of pursuing it.
Yeah, yeah, just so, yeah, noone waits for happiness.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
You got to pursue it Right.
Just wait, listen.
One day the perfect one willcome to your door.
Right the push, they will bethere, or you're just like fuck
that, I'm not waiting becausethey're never going.
The perfect one never comes tothe door.

(06:34):
The thing is, when you go out and you gain experience, just in
general, you now know betterwhat you need.
Like that's yeah and if youdon't go, have that experience,
nothing just shows up to yourdoorstep because of the way that
you're viewing life.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
Unless it's something you intention to order.

(06:54):
I mean.

Speaker 2 (06:56):
That's fair.

(06:56):
That requires intent fair, but you know prostitution's illegal
.

Speaker 2 (06:59):
I wasn't talking about women dude.
I'm just saying I'm not like,but everything look all.

(07:03):
First off, how can we order fast food but not a prostitute
like come on man.

Speaker 2 (07:07):
You actually well, you actually can.
In some places they're calledcalled girls.

(07:11):
Yeah, there's no ask.
There's there an ass for that?
There might be an app for that.
Probably is an app for thatsubway.

Speaker 2 (07:17):
There's something, not subway, that's something I'm
gonna say.
That Disclaimer gotta edit thatout.

(07:22):
I'm not editing and shit.
Look, that's the mistake anyonemakes if they come on this
podcast.
There's so it's funny that youwere Jeffery is the only one
that has ever received thebenefit of editing.
Well, that's because I cut thelast two hours off.

Speaker 2 (07:34):
I'm sorry.

(07:35):
Joffrey brother, jeff so.

Speaker 2 (07:37):
I was on Broadway Avenue in Tyler when you, when I
talked to you on the phoneAfter your first three episodes
and told you know what I toldyou regarding Because you asked
me specifically, like, are youasked me?
You actually were telling me.
You know exactly what you weretrying to do or accomplish
Really, just want to haveconversations.
And there was a number I gaveyou.

(07:58):
I gave you a specific number ofEpisodes that you had to record
.
In the effort to just create thehabit I Don't need.
It was like 30 or something.
I was like once you get toepisode 30, you've already got
the habit set in.
And if you go back and you justlisten, man, not to, not to

(08:19):
beat a dead horse over again,but around 20 ish, maybe a few,
but maybe in the teens, highteens, that's when you guys
started taking flight Mm-hmm, atleast for something.

(08:31):
Well, there started to be some structure, like there started
to be some shape to theconversations, as opposed to
Like just wildly out there.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
Let me say that again because I want to make sure
you're clear there is value ineverything that you've done,
whether that's humor, confusion,yeah, and there's value in
those things.

(08:48):
Well, also some like me and David.
We would feel like, damn, we'vehad a bunch of heavy episodes
in a row.
We need to just, yeah, lightenit the fuck up, yeah, and then
like we would have like anepisode your lighter episode was
Aliens are coming and you'reall gonna die.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
That was the light episode.
It's like oh, I mean we talkeda lot about warfare.
This last one, let's talk aboutaliens.

(09:07):
And it was, it was humorous conversation what if we're gonna
die?

Speaker 2 (09:11):
I?

(09:11):
remember, I remember we did a episode for National Absurdity
Day.
Mm-hmm and we literally, withthe whole episode was just
baselessly Accusing people.
We found online of shit, yeah,starting with, like I think, a
Kyle written house story orsomething like that, collin boys
or something shit, some shitlike that, like we twisted some

(09:31):
shit together and there waswildly baseless accusations yeah
and then we went on thisinvestigation to figure out what
Tyler and the boys wereactually up to and I don't think
we ever got to the bottom.
You to listen that episode again, cuz that shit was wild.
Yeah like we literally wouldjust get online in the first
words it would come up.
We went to some Wikipedia pagesI like, like I feel like

(09:52):
there's a lot of we were makinga mockery, I guess of episodes
that like, of shows that do thatshit right yeah and so,
whenever we were going throughthe thing, we were just going
online and just literally takingthe loosest Bit of information
and connecting it together.
Yeah and I feel like some ofthese it's like click baity,

(10:14):
like a lot of people kind of soI think we did it in mockery of
it.

Speaker 2 (10:19):
Yeah, yeah, but I'm intent behind it, but it was
just.

(10:22):
I don't know, it was just, it was fun.
It was fun to just not reallycare.
Yeah and I think a lot of theepisodes that we have done,
there's really not been a wholelot of Care of how it's
perceived until it's releasedright, right.
So in the episode recording.
There's never really that.
Oh, I hope people take thiswell.
Yeah but after the conversation, like fuck, I don't even

(10:42):
remember everything I said, yeah, I hope, I hope that it's not
like how about I didn't say someshit to the like in like things
that I've thought about, thatMaybe I don't believe, but I
said out loud, you know I'msaying like that type of shit.
Yeah, just in conversation, ohbut when you have to like, I
think when you operate that wayin life, you like protect

(11:03):
yourself like you're lookingaround seeing who's there.
Yeah, you can protect whatyou're gonna say.

Speaker 2 (11:07):
Yeah.

(11:08):
First off, why you gonna say some bad shit.
You got to look around yourshoulders, for is it because of
how they perceive it, or is itbecause you think it might be
kind of rude?
Maybe?

Speaker 2 (11:18):
Maybe.
But I mean, I guess that comesinto it's how you've received it
, I guess.
But I don't know, man, I Idon't have that problem.

(11:25):
I.

Speaker 2 (11:27):
Don't think I do anyway.

(11:29):
Maybe I don't know.
I wouldn't say you do, but Idon't really that also comes at
a cost sometimes.

Speaker 2 (11:34):
So, you know, I would probably hold a standing record
and I don't mean to be no,because there's a lot of guys
out there that are very open andintentional about things they
say, but that comes with a cost,right there painted in a
certain picture, or they'redemonetized or they're
completely ghosted or cancelledor Whatever.
But you know, hey, as long asyou stand up for your values,

(11:56):
yeah, I think.

(11:57):
I think the I think the trick, I think the trick to learn, or
that would be valuable, isSaying it in plain sight, right,
saying it without that wholelike what the fuck did you say?
Yeah right being able to say it, and then they walk away.
They're like wait.
What did he say?
Yeah like that's the.
I think that's the trick.
Right, that's the, because you,you want to affect them, sure,

(12:21):
but you don't want to put themon defense.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
Well, the interesting thing is, man is like we have
this Notion to believe thatconversations have to include
only factual information, or youknow that somebody always knows
exactly where it's on.
That's, that's the environmentto throw those things out there.

(12:40):
That's so like yeah, that's like scholar, like you're
scholarly, like the thing issome.
I'm, from my experience,sometimes the most wildest shit.
Give me the answer to somethingso practical.
It's like yeah, it's clearlynot way out there, but there was
something in that way out there.
Oh shit, that makes sense.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's weird kind of like how wedid that absurdity episode where

(13:01):
we just loosely Like sometimesyou can find a string of
something that makes sense.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (13:07):
Yeah, you don't have to know where it's going.
Yeah, it's training grounds,man.
That's how you get better.
That's where scholars come from.
Guarantee Sakurthi says somestupid shit this day.
Guarantee it.
Yeah probably like wire boobs,good right.
So he was always askingquestions and it was like why do
you, why would you is?

(13:21):
we hear about his good questions, right, but what?
Never hear about all the onesthat he got to get to the good
questions.
Yeah.
I've asked a lot of questions.
There's some pretty bad ones.

Speaker 2 (13:29):
Yes, the.

(13:30):
Thing is, without those bad questions, you don't come up
with the better questions.
I agree right, because then youget an answer.
You get a bad answer.
That was a bad question.
Yeah, it was a bad question,not a bad.
It wasn't a bad answer.
It was a bad question and soAsked a different question.
So I think, science goes thatway a little bit too.
It's like what does?
when you theorize something,you're like oh, like I wasn't

(13:51):
asking the right question, ormaybe, maybe I'm stretching here
, but as far as like thecomponents of what's there,
because that's how youaccidentally discover shit.
Right, yeah, you weren't askingthe right question, oh, but
this is the result that happens,okay, so let me ask a different
question now.
What can I do with this?

Speaker 2 (14:06):
Well, that's why they call it a hypothesis, best
guess, educated guests, alsodoctors, only practice Mm-hmm,
so I call it medical practice.
Yeah there's a reason for that.
There's no medical perfection.
That's correct If there were.

(14:19):
I mean first I mean not in the physical world.
Let me be very clear there's nomedical perfection in the
physical, in the physical worldthat we're in right now.

Speaker 2 (14:26):
What I'm saying is there's it's a liability to
claim that it's not a practice.
Right, because there are things, there are so many variables to
consider, right?
Same concept of conversation.

(14:36):
Wouldn't construction be a practice to?

Speaker 2 (14:38):
probably.

(14:40):
Probably because the game day, the game days when you do the
action right.
But if you're not like practiceand put in wood together in
between game days, bro, that isthe practice.
I agree.

Speaker 2 (14:54):
Yeah, it's a little cooking and things like that.
I agree with that 100% it's.
You're getting stripes.
It's like the oh, what is it?
10,000 hours for mastery, isthat what they call it?
Yeah hours to project managersor whatever.

(15:03):
Yeah, it's just a 10,000 hours .
Like what is it to perfectsomething or whatever to mastery
?

Speaker 2 (15:09):
I wouldn't even say that you can perfect your master
.

(15:10):
I don't even agree with that wholeheartedly, but the idea and
the concept.
It offers something valuablethere, because there are things
that that art it is true withyou.
Know, if you, if you come outlike Some people, have a
propensity or the ability to todo things Faster than others,
right, sure, but that doesn'tmean that they're necessarily

(15:31):
more skilled or better at it.
It just means that they have adifferent understanding of what
that thing is with the way thatthey perceive things.
Yeah, so it's an easier thingfor them to overcome the
challenge of being able to dothat right.
It's only because of like Somestarting point that they have
like their, their situationthere, right.
Mm-hmm and then, like I wastalking to you about earlier,

(15:52):
with, like, having played guitar, it's like only recently do I
feel like it's actually easierto play guitar, whereas before,
even all my years, it was kindof like a challenge.
Not that I wasn't good or okayor anything like that, it was
just a challenge to play.
But now I'm finding a lot offun in it, right, it's like it's
really just a joyful expressionas opposed to something I'm
trying to get better at, right.

(16:13):
But when you're trying to getbetter at something, when you
have intention with it, yeah, ifyou're like I'm trying to get
better at this, you have tochallenge yourself, right.
But the thing is, fun is alsochallenging.
So if you can challenge thingsin a fun way, right.
So it's like not necessarilythe ten thousand hours, I think
it's how engaged with whatyou're doing you are based upon

(16:33):
your predisposed thoughts, yourthought pattern, like there's a
whole lot of things to consider.
Yeah but Skill is somethingthat's learned, but some people
have a different level of thatskill.

Speaker 2 (16:44):
Well, yeah, cuz.
So they're like this.
So the hours, the ten thousandhours thing is kind of I.
My opinion, when it matters isjust a Matter of fact by the
time you get to where thiselevates you to.
So, for example, take blackbelts in any martial art.
Okay, if there was, if this wasnot what we're talking about,
it's not such a thing then noblack belt could be another

(17:06):
black belt in anything right, itwould be the same skill level,
skill cap.
But you know, what'sinteresting is that where the
time comes into play is like,you know, if you think in like
jiu-jitsu, it's one of theGracie family, it's.
I don't even know if the beltlooks like a black belt with red
stripes, but nobody has sunk asmuch time as this specific
individual.
So it's not to say thatsomebody can't surpass that

(17:27):
specific rank he has, but itobviously presents a skill set
and it signifies how much timewas sent into that.

(17:34):
Here's the best part about this whole thing, because he did
the groundwork.
Yeah, it makes it.
It makes it.
It makes it Possible for all ofthe other people to learn, yeah
, that process without having togo through the head beatings.
Right, you don't have to fightto get there because somebody
knows and they can show you.

(17:55):
I already went through the shitto learn it.
Let me just show you the thingsto consider.
Let me show you the things tolook for and then you use your
capability to figure that out.

Speaker 2 (18:04):
The interesting thing is without disrespecting this
completely, because I have a lotof respect for the Gracie
family and I don't want this toshow any sort of disrespect but
one could make the case thatsomebody can actually make
something of their lives andTeach others how to do so while
they're on their backs and theirlegs are open.
I'm just saying, just look, Iwant to think about Okay, like
because there's.

(18:25):
There's a lot that goes into that.
There's a lot of abuse thatgoes into that too.

Speaker 2 (18:28):
Possibly we're talking about different sports
now.

(18:31):
It just depends on the way you perceive it there there there?
Yeah, I don't know.
So, like the ground doing doingall the groundwork, it makes
the like.
Once you Understand something,you're like oh, let me teach
this understanding to theseother people.
That solidifies thatunderstanding for the person.

(18:54):
That learned it yeah right.
So then somebody teaches youthat.
So to say, gracie teaches acertain like when obviously he
does sure right has.
That's why there's so manythings is how it carries on
right.
So then somebody takes thatskill.
Mm-hmm, they get their blackbelt.
Now they're showing otherpeople those things, but they're
learning also because differentpeople come from different

(19:15):
backgrounds, differentunderstandings, different
teachers, different Wholedifferent thing, right.
And so if you understand whatthe objective is, there's
different modalities to achievethat sure objective.
And I think I've never done ajiu-jitsu class or anything like
that, but I imagine and hearingpeople talk about it, that it
is a problem that needs to besolved and it can only be solved
based upon what yourcapabilities are.

(19:37):
Yeah, because, but if you don'tknow yourself or what you're
capable of, you don't know whereyour spots are.
We're where, we're where tolook.
Yeah, I don't know how thisties together with doing the
work and training.

Speaker 2 (19:47):
Well, actually it ties in very well.
So to go full circle whichremind me I want to talk to you
about full circle in a second to, because I've got a thought on
that, but anyway, so going backfull circle into what we're
saying earlier, is that you putsomeone so many episodes out.
You've built the competence, atleast by consistency.

(20:02):
Yeah right.

Speaker 2 (20:02):
So you know we talk about this in the ICL the time,
about having people like youlack confidence so you're not
gonna do anything.
It's not confidence, it'scourage.
Like courage will inevitably, Ithink, a lot use some
confidence and being competentand courageous enough to do
something, you're gonna gaincompetence out of it too by
consistently doing that thing,you should I mean you?

(20:22):
Should.

(20:23):
The mass is there for you right, the math is there, you
have the opportunity.
All right, the opportunity isthere just by consistently
correct.
And so I guess to To add onthat is like so the hundred
episodes or whatever that'shappened, the people that I've
talked to just sit here?
I don't.
This is probably the easiestthing that I do.
Yeah but it's not because it'snot hard, yeah, cuz some of the

(20:46):
shit's kind of actually hard,like setting it up, like having
to do things, but then also thething that I'm not good at, it's
putting it out there, right?
So that's what I'm trying toget better at.
So the conversation again it'sa step-by-step process in my
mind, because I was reallyfocused on Trying to figure out
how to have these conversations.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
Yeah.

(21:06):
I'm really trying to figure out the ins and outs and I don't
know a lot, but I know enough.

Speaker 2 (21:11):
But what part about putting it out there, do you not
know?

(21:14):
well that it was the shame that I would feel like I you
know the judgment that I would,honestly, that I would put on
myself like that I wouldperceive others may so you're
talking about somebody elseListening to your podcast and be
like what a fucking joke.
Yeah, yeah, something like that.
Yeah, maybe it's the impostersyndrome or whatever, but I
think for me it was just like IKnow that I didn't intend

(21:36):
anything negative right and so Ididn't want to accidentally
this is my childhood coming backI didn't want to accidentally
hurt somebody.
Yeah, because of my stupidchoices.
Yeah, so my choose choice tosay something much would like I
don't want to hurt people withthose things.
So I was very like hesitantbecause I don't want it to be
received.
But I realized I'm a personthat says and does shit.

(21:59):
So that's why I was hesitant,like certain things is because I
think the people that knew whoI was and how I was would call
Bullshit on that and I didn't.
I didn't really want to dealwith that.
Honestly, I was scared to dealwith that.
Because am I?
Yeah but I think I hid from itand just tried to do the work.
I wasn't trying to bringattention so much so that I was
doing it, but I just wanted tokeep trying to do it, keep

(22:21):
putting the effort in.
I wasn't trying to show it topeople, I wanted to get good at
something.
This is why I call myself thewizard in some regard.
Yeah it's because I just Keepdoing it and then all of a
sudden I understand I know howto do something and the thing is
, I don't show people that I'mdoing it.
I didn't go around tellingeverybody that I was doing this,
that or another in any point inmy life.
Yeah, but somehow I was able toshow them oh, I can do.

(22:43):
There's like you can do that.
It's like, oh, yeah, but thething is, it's like I get
obsessed with things and Isecretly like well, may not be
obsession, right?

Speaker 2 (22:51):
so if you think about this, as simply as you can
think about it, like so you'reyou're, you're concerning
yourself with, or you wereconcerning yourself with,
somebody taking something thewrong way and hurt you know
being hurt by that.
Personally, my belief is thatit's just a manifestation of how
you do things.
Oh yeah, of course so you'rebasically living that into
somebody else.

(23:09):
Yeah, it was definitely a base of my childhood, my perception
of life based on how I likeGoing through childhood and like
always being accused of hurtingsomeone because of what actions
right like?
So you, that gets embedded inmy mind right and so like I
operate everything it's likebecause I know in my heart I'm a
person that cares.
Yeah nice person.
Yeah, but I'm person also thatgets taken advantage Of, gets

(23:33):
stepped on.
I'm a person like, and so Iguess I'm protecting against
having to deal with the gettingstepped on.
Well, sure, like, and it's afear-based thing for sure, and
it's definitely completelyfabricated.
It's not something that existsin a true reality, it's
something that exists in my mind.

Speaker 2 (23:48):
Yeah, all right, it's not.
How do you turn that into outof a fear, into something else,
like how, like let's, let's callit like Acceptance or whatever
you want to call it like, how doyou turn it out of a fear?

(24:02):
The very first thing you have to do is notice that you are
actually scared of it.
Okay, you have to be like Damn,what's this why?
like?
Because you, you know on apractical level, yeah, why I?
Just there's no reason I shouldactually be scared of this.
Once you've confronted like, oh, I'm scared of this, there's no
practical reason, right, to bescared, right?
But then you still try to do itand it's like, but I still

(24:26):
can't, yeah, there's still afear there, right, but you're
not.
I would say that at that pointyou need to keep Digging because
you haven't actually identifiedwhat the fear is sure right,
you've just identified that it'sthere or maybe or the let's.

Speaker 2 (24:39):
Let's think about this in different terms.
Maybe you have identified thefear in, and similar, similar
case would be you want to playfootball so bad but you know
you're gonna get hit.

(24:49):
You know there's physical there's an acceptance of that
and, but the thing is, you stillfear.

Speaker 2 (24:52):
It right and and I would argue just until you Don't
, yeah right.

(24:58):
So it's always that is definitely the intimidating
thing at first is like well,sure the, the physical pain.

Speaker 2 (25:03):
Same thing would you get See okay and I don't know
very much outside of what I know, but there is an option, an
opportunity that you might breaka finger, you might get ribs
broke, but it's also a hesitancyfor me.
It's because also up to you,because they'll tell you Tap
early and tap fast, but don't bea hero, right?
So this is where I loved you,just to becomes this ego game,

(25:25):
right?
So it's thing of you will behumbled one way or the other, on
your own accord or by somebodyelse's, but you will get humbled
.
Right now, the thing is is evenlet's go back to the football
thing.
So, yeah, that is a reality inthe game of football.
It is a physical contact sport.
If you're worried about gettinghit, okay, either make the

(25:45):
choice that you're not going toplay or Face it or be elusive
Very fast, right?
so then you train to be veryfast now.
Even that that draws theattention.
There's players.

(25:56):
There's players that seek the hit they're looking for that.
But then there's other playersthat avoid it.
Like yeah, it's like again,within that you determine what
type of player you want.
Like sure, I can take thisamount of punishment.
Yeah, to avoid these things.
I love this thing so much, yeah, but for me to be able to do
this, I cannot take that hit andthen on the counter is like,

(26:17):
okay, I love this so much and ithurts like fucking hell.
But man, when I when that, whenit happens the contact and all
that stuff, yeah, and so it'slike you don't, it's the pain.
You're not looking, the painswhatever.
It's the result of the painthat you're looking for at that
point it's just like I'm a smoke.
Somebody, let let somebody comeacross.
Yeah, I'm a smoke.
Yeah and this is like the reliefof that pain isn't even known,

(26:41):
because there's so much You'renot even thinking about the pain
anymore.
It's just like this is part ofthe course.
Yeah, right, and then sometimespart of the course means that
you work on an injury, you, youwork around an injury.
Yeah right, because that's partof what you are doing.
Yeah, and if you've committedto that and the injuries
received, you have an obligationto still fulfill as best you

(27:01):
can.
Right, you can't just stop.
Sure, and that's, I mean, thefootball thing we were talking
about, dion Sanders earlier inthe.
Colorado football team likethere's a mental toughness.
It's way more important thanthe physical toughness.
But here's the thing Physicalway is how the physical shit is
how you can to get Determine howmentally tough you actually are

(27:22):
of course a good measure.
Yeah, for like, what the fuckcan you actually put up with?

Speaker 2 (27:27):
Well, it's a good opponent.

(27:28):
I mean that's one of the things yourself you have to go
through your mind versus yourbody.

Speaker 2 (27:32):
Yeah, the see, the thing is, it's interesting
because you could take the sameconcept and say you know, one of
these days I might want tostart a podcast.
Okay, but the thing is, I wantto be very careful and I want to
hurt somebody.

(27:42):
All right.

Speaker 2 (27:42):
So I'm gonna be cool, I'm gonna say what I can say,
so it's ease into it.
Yeah, I'm ease into it.
I'm just gonna look at thefootball field and be like I'm
my, I'm just gonna see how.
I'm just gonna be a trainer andsquirt water, yeah or I'll just
be like a reserve kicker orsomething like that, because
nobody kills the kicker.
You know you're not supposed to, but when you do you.

(28:02):
Have you ever seen?
What is it?
Varsity blue.
Yes dude, you got the backupquarterback coming in now.
China.
Johnny mocks, johnny mocks.
Yeah, I don't know.
So, like with the, the physical,the physical thing, like with
jujitsu and shit like that, andthen these other things, I think
it's a good measure.
It's it Well?
Not a measure?

(28:23):
Yeah, it is a measure to seefor yourself what you can
withstand but here's the thing,yeah your belief in yourself,
your body, your capabilities orwhatever, gets better as you
progress, as you put it throughmore things.
But if you don't put it throughthings, if you don't put it
through, yeah and survive it.
Yeah, you don't know, yeah, butyou can.

(28:43):
It's like thinking you can getinto a fight and win, versus
Like getting into scuffles allthe time and really knowing like
how you can hurt somebody.

Speaker 2 (28:52):
Yeah.
So without courage you cannotbuild confidence, you cannot
build competence.
Right now funny thing is I'mgonna call you out because you
know one can see your face.
You're a perfect face for radio.
That when I said what I saidabout the podcast thing, his
face got real cringy.
He was like okay, shut up, Iget it shut up.
I wanted I wanted you, you gotit.

(29:13):
You got to acknowledge thosethings because you're.

(29:15):
No, you're not wrong.
It's hard, I think, as anobserver of your own life, to
acknowledge things because youdon't want them to how dare you?

Speaker 2 (29:24):
Who told you to be an observer of your own life?
Nobody you're the conservator.
You're the curator, not theobserver.
That's where you get in theweeds, my friend, when you start
getting out of body experiencesand looking at you like man.
I probably should do somethingdifferent.
My hair and Mike Luke.

(29:39):
Yeah, I don't care about another.
That's good, I know, Iunderstand.

Speaker 2 (29:42):
I'm just saying guys, the more, the more out of body
experience you have, the lesstime you actually have to spend
in body and doing the Thingsthat you claim that you want to
do well, fair, I don't.

(29:52):
I'm not gonna argue against that cuz I don't disagree with
you, but in the sense of thebody and God, the body's the
body.
The body is a tool, right, right, the body is a tool for lessons
.
You know that the body teachesthe mind lessons the body
teaches, All right, and so eventhis thing, like going through

(30:13):
and doing the podcast, justdoing the work of doing it,
right, look, if my goal was tobe popular and famous, I
definitely wasn't acting thatway.
I was definitely wasn't doingthe things.
So, if I'm being honest withmyself, what was my goal?
Right, right, my goal.
The reason why I couldn't givea sustained goal?
Because I think I knew what mygoal was and I was doing it, but
I didn't know how to put itinto words.

(30:33):
Right, I knew that I was havingto do the work, I knew that
something turns into something,but for some reason I still got
to keep doing the fucking work.
Yes right and this is, this iswhat I would say that's helped
me on my path to with, like my,my relationship with God.
It's like when you start havingthese life questions, you start
facing these things and thesepeople have these different

(30:55):
Ideologies about how to dealwith, like the ego or yeah how
to deal with this or that oranother right and you start
running across these like Nobodyfucking actually knows.
Yeah you know.
And then it's like, well, ifnobody actually knows, I have,
but everybody seems to have alittle piece of the truth ever.
It's like these things thatthey say, it's like something
there was true, yeah now thewhole arching ideology, not, but

(31:18):
there was a piece that was yeah, right, and so out of a lot of
these conversations that I'vehad with different people,
recorded and not it's like allof those little pieces, like
when the fuck did those piecescome from?
Because there's an ounce oftruth in all of it.
Yeah right, but where is thattruth coming from?
These conversations, shit, it'slike so.
Then you have to start askinglike, okay, well, if there is

(31:41):
something continuous, what's thesource of that right?
Well, then you startunderstanding, you start, I
started questioning, like Well,everybody says God, or everybody
says a law, or everybody sayswhatever they say to represent a
higher power, yeah, and.
And then some of theirteachings and things like that.
There's an ounce of truth there, an ounce sure.

(32:02):
And what was that?
So I had to start askingHonestly just the world, the
universe, what it?
Just the ether, if you willyeah it's like wise, what is
this?
like what?
And then it's the weirdestfucking thing is like you start
getting Access to books, youstart getting access to people,
you start getting things startshowing up to make those things,

(32:25):
just like you're not evenasking them, those fucking
thoughts.
You're just like oh, oh, yeah,oh, like it's this whole thing.
It's like and a lot of it hasto do with like Me, like the
surrender we talked aboutsurrender but me making the
choice of letting the answerscome to me, if you will sure, or

(32:46):
Going in like Forcefully tryingto find it.
Me trying to gain knowledge,only to then learn yeah in the
end that the knowledge was justa piece.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
Well, but the funny thing is about that is I think
it's the latter, I think it'sthat you're getting to the point
where you're seeking thosethings out, which tells you one
and two things.
One the knowledge has alwaysbeen there, right?
You just finding it in a season.
You need to find it yet.
Yeah and two, it's all dependentupon how close it is to home
with you, okay, meaning you arethe vessel, right, you are the

(33:17):
person, you're the pawn that thewhatever you want to call it
that has to be incorporated, orelse it's just pieces.
So the closer you're involvedwith it, the more pieces come
together, right, instead ofbeing a box of a jigsaw puzzle
of a thousand pieces.
Unfortunately, we are just apiece, right, but you are a part
of something bigger.
You know what I mean, and Ithink we're we're me where I get

(33:39):
stuck in the weeds or I getkind of slowed down or I get
Dejected or disheartened ordiscouraged, whatever is.
When I start that out-of-bodyshit, when I'm just like man,
okay.
So I wonder what this lookslike and why this is here.
What could this be?
And this?
That's why I get so frustrated,right.
It's why, especially at thebeginning of our, of our, coming
back together moments, it waslike you guys drive me fucking

(34:01):
crazy, like yard all this.
I wonder what the if the waterbeing not wet, is Drowning,
talking about right, like it'ssometimes.
And look, I have opportunity togrow in that area where I can
see more of a 10,000, a 30,000foot view, but I also have work
to do on the ground, right,right, and I think, the more

(34:24):
that I am around people likeyourself and reading books and
the groups that I'm in and atleast the willpower to have that
knowledge, those things come inplay.
Because here's another thing Iheard somebody said something
the other day and this is so.
It's kind of off topic, butit's not.
It comes back.
So there's a song called theparting glass.
The parting glass is a it'slike a farewell song.

(34:48):
I dare say Irish.
I think it's Irish, it's afarewell tune.
That's basically memory inmemory of the person who's
passing.
And inside this I'm gonna pullthis up.
Well, I want to make sure thatthe lyric.
I say this correctly, butthere's something pretty
interesting.
Oh, you got a computer, we canpull up lyrics now Fuck, you do
All right, there is a lyric inhere that struck, struck me

(35:10):
pretty hard when I read it andheard it.

(35:12):
Actually, and what's the name of the song?

Speaker 2 (35:13):
It's called the parting glass.
Okay, I here, it is right hereand say so.
It basically starts.
It says of all the money thatair I had, I Spent it in good
company, and all the harm that Iever did, alas, I, it was to
none but me, and this is theline right here.
And all I've done, for want ofwit to memory Now, I can't

(35:37):
recall.

(35:40):
I'm gonna tell you that, I'm gonna look.
I saw my read that of all themoney that air I spent, I spent
in good company.
And of all the harm that air Idid, alice, it was to none but
me.
So basically All of the moneythat I had spent, I spent it
around and with good people,right.
And then the harm that I did Ionly did to myself, right.

(36:05):
So any time that I harmedsomeone I harmed myself.
Yeah, and all that I've donefor want of wit to memory, now I
can't recall all the things youwanted to know now you can't
fucking remember, yeah.

Speaker 2 (36:19):
It's a glimpse.
Life is a glimpse, it's ajourney.
Yes, awesome.
And yes, knowledge does help us, wisdom helps us.

(36:28):
It helps us until it's like a bullet bar, though Correct.

Speaker 2 (36:31):
Yeah, correct.
So to what extent are you afterthe knowledge, right?
This is why this is this.
This line to me humbles me inthe regard that Sometimes just
enjoying what you have is worthit, worth more than trying to
seek these things that we willnever understand.

(36:47):
Yeah, I was having a conversation and was Cheyenne,
my wife, about memories.
Like I was like.
I asked her if I was likewhat's the, what's the point of
memories?
Like To me, I'm gonna tell youthat my thoughts recently is
like memories anchor.
I'm not saying it's good or bad, yeah, I'm not saying it's,
it's neither but memories anchorand as we hold on to those

(37:10):
memories, we're anchoringsomething, we're holding on to
something, yeah, and we say thatit's to keep them alive, the
remembrance of them and all Likewe say these things.
Yeah.
That's not what it is, though,yeah, it's selfish, it's.
We're hanging on to the painthat that thing causes.
We're hanging on to Because ifthese were good, positive

(37:30):
memories, these were things.
If you looked at the goodmemories, the good shit, all
that stuff right, your life isfulfilled, right, but the thing
is the seeking of all the thingsthat are missing.

Speaker 2 (37:40):
Yeah.

(37:41):
It's a reminder of what's missing and not a reminder of
what was there.
And so the memory, the thememories that we, that we hold
on to, are often not great Right, or they're often a time in
memory where we felt like wewere better than we are now.
But that's never true.
That's never true.
We were never better than weare now.

(38:01):
Our circumstances weredifferent.

Speaker 2 (38:04):
Here's something I never thought I would actually
say.
But so when I did my buddyMatt's funeral, I did his eulogy
and the oldest picture I couldfind was our graduation year,
which is 2002.
But I realized we didn't havephones like that, like we do now
.
It's crazy man to think aboutthat because when we went

(38:26):
through sorting through photosman, we found Polaroid pictures.
We found little Kodak camerapictures, nothing digital.
But nothing digital.
So me personally, I was missingan entire, almost an entire
lifetime of somebody right, andso I made a statement in that In
the eulogy.
It was not planned, it was justsomething that I noted, that we
grew up in a time where we justdidn't have the ability to

(38:48):
capture moments like that.
But I do agree with you that Iwas seeking that more to honor
what was no longer there, right,not something that was there,
obviously because he was gone,and it was, I guess, to a point,
selfish, but I think there is alittle bit of value in that in

(39:09):
a closure sense.

(39:10):
Oh yeah, I think there's a process.
I think there's a part where itdoes play a part, but the
hanging onto it is what becomesthat yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:17):
I think so too the other part.
So there's another example Ihave.
So we used to have a whencamcorders were a big thing.
We had one of those and theymade special little small tapes,
little cassettes that you wouldput in these recorders.
I remember them and then you putthem in actual VHAs cassette.
So we actually have one ofthose and I've got some.
I've got it somewhere Becausethere's videos from my

(39:39):
grandfather, there's videos fromHawaii, things like that man I
just I really loved going backand watching and listening to,
and what's interesting is that Ifind the value in holding onto
those things Because it'ssomething that maybe it's, maybe
it is that, what is that word?

(40:00):
Reminiscence?
Maybe that's there and honestlyI don't know.

(40:05):
Maybe you're on.
Let's see the thing is, ishonoring somebody and hanging on
to a memory or different things, so honoring the lessons
learned from that person's life?
That's how you keep them alive,by the things you learn from
them, by enacting that in yourlife.
That's the true honor.
You know where it came from, Iagree.
You know where it came from andthat is all they ever wanted to

(40:26):
do for you.

Speaker 2 (40:27):
The other part of that is because I think about
something like when we went toMontana last time, the first
time I had this thought.
I've never thought about thisbefore, but we were looking.
I'm going to pull up thispicture so you can see what I'm
showing you.
We were looking at a specificview on the side of the highway,
looking over Helena, I thinkHelena or Butte, I can't

(40:48):
remember, but it is my.
Let me see if I can just pullmy profile up real quick.
Sorry, I don't mean to drag.
No, you're getting that pictureright there I felt like when I
took that picture, I took alittle piece out of it, so I
felt like capturing moments likethat actually does a detriment

(41:09):
to the actual thing.

(41:10):
I know it sounds crazy.
You're seeing it through a lens.

Speaker 2 (41:12):
Yeah, I'm looking and that's what I think about when.

(41:15):
Now it's beautiful, it is.

Speaker 2 (41:16):
And you want to share it, but that shows nothing to
what I saw.

(41:19):
It doesn't even remotely resemble what you were looking
at.
That was so vast.

Speaker 2 (41:23):
You know something and I think a lot of people can
attest to that.
Now, I'm sure there are camerasout there that can capture the
point is, but you still can'tcapture what it is.

(41:30):
It's an image of it, I agree.

Speaker 2 (41:32):
I agree it's a representation of it and I think
maybe the idea is honoring thatwhat that representation was,
more so than trying to captureit and share it, because we get
into the weeds of sharing it tolook what I'm doing, and I think
that's a part of the problemthat this kind of stuff presents
.
For people.
It makes people feel like, well, I guess he thinks he's better
than me because he went toMontana.

(41:53):
Here's the other thing, though it makes people want to go to
fucking Montana.

Speaker 2 (41:56):
That's true, so there's a benefit to it.

(41:58):
Right, there's like that might be, just like you know what.
I got to go fucking see that.
I got to see that becausethere's no, because if you know
pictures, don't really tell thepicture and that picture looks
amazing.
Imagine what it would be liketo be there and that's why I
went to Scotland, that's why I'mgoing back.
Yeah.
Right, it's just like so.
This is how I have to look.
I can't have any shame bro.
Yeah.
Or I can't have any shame.

(42:18):
Look, if I take pictures ofsomething and, like you said,
I'm going to be honest with you,that's a pretty profound
thought, though.
Yeah.
That you took a piece of that.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
Yeah.

(42:26):
And you took it with you.
Yeah, instead of living it andhaving that.

Speaker 2 (42:30):
Yeah, because it was just a moment right and I told
Katie that too.

(42:32):
What if we're?
Not supposed to have thesethings beyond that.
Have these things beyond that?
What if this is all flooding us?
What if this is all confusingus?
It's allowing us to look backand not at.
Yeah.
You know, because I'm going totell you.
Or forward to I believe thatall of these things that we
expect, dude, I oftentimesforget to take out and take
pictures.

(42:52):
There's oftentimes I go do thecoolest shit and I can't share
it with anybody, but with astory.
And.
I think fuck it.
People are going to interpretthe video however they want.
Let me just tell my story.

Speaker 2 (43:04):
Well, it's a good old folk tale, man she's like.

(43:06):
William Wallace.
That's the thing, because thenyou can it's like when you
dramatized for cinema you canemphasize the parts that matter
to you, right?
It's not so much lying, it'sjust like this was more
impactful.
So I want to share it with youin a way of how it impacted me,
not necessarily what was said,but the moment, what it felt
like.
Yeah, right, so you make things10 foot tall as opposed to four

(43:30):
foot.
You know what I mean.
Like this is like, because itseemed it impacted you as low.
It was 10 foot tall.

Speaker 2 (43:34):
Yeah.

(43:35):
Right, and so thinking about things like that it allows me to
see people as not liars.

Speaker 2 (43:41):
Right.

(43:42):
It's because I realized their recollection of it was that it
was like that, because it didaffect them that way.
And that's not necessarily alie.
They just don't have the rightwords to articulate that and
it's because people lazily pullwords.
But it is what it is, yeah.

Speaker 2 (44:00):
Well, I mean, there's some value to a picture has
there's a million word, or tellsa thousand stories, or a
million words, or whatever.
I think there's value to thesethings right.

(44:08):
Absolutely.

Speaker 2 (44:08):
If it finds somebody in a moment of time where they
just need something.

(44:13):
Think about how many words it would take to capture what you
truly felt in a moment.
Yeah, there's no amount of wordsthat can truly capture.
Because when I went to Coloradofor the first time and I was
just like fucking with Pike'sPeak yeah, I was just like bro,
I felt like a bitch.
I felt so small.
I felt little bitty.
I felt irrelevant as fuck.

(44:33):
I was like this thing couldsquash me.
I have no control over thisshit.
Yeah, and as I'm standing upthere, I'm barefoot on Pike's
Peak.
I'm just like stand like ohfucking strongest, the wind
could make me lose balance andit's over with.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
There's something exhilaratingand freeing about that, but also
it just felt so small that'sreally the thing that I just

(44:56):
felt small.

Speaker 2 (44:57):
Yeah.

(45:00):
Got to walk her up.

Speaker 2 (45:01):
No, it's her neighbor .
Oh yeah, no.

(45:05):
So when I had that experience of feeling that small, I lost my
breath.
It literally took a breath.
I felt like maybe it was likean anxiety or panic attack.
It was like this fear washingover me of I'm insignificant as
hell.
It's like maybe that's a thrashof the ego.
It's like, when you get aroundthings like that, that you

(45:26):
couldn't fathom what it wouldfeel like, and then you feel
that you're like this is biggerthan me.

Speaker 2 (45:32):
Well, the thing is, man it's literally and it's yeah
actually.
So in those moments like andlook, I don't know if everybody
has experienced that, but theyneed to there is so much more
value in the humility ofsomething like this than there
is not right Meaning.
When you realize that, and atthis moment and there was
another one that we did not takea picture because I made the

(45:54):
statement to Katie and I said Idon't want to steal anything
from this place.
We're standing at this place,man, and it was like it was a
historical place, and I mean it.
Just when you looked at it, youcan smell Sacajawea and Lewis
and Clark.
You could.

(46:09):
it was just like this.
There was an essence there, itwas an essence there.

Speaker 2 (46:12):
You could just it was thicker than water.
But I was standing there and Iliterally thought to myself like
and this has been my elevatorspeech to go to Montana and stay
there.
It is incredibly humbling.
It makes you just realize howinsignificant each of us are as
individuals in, and how muchbigger this world is than us and

(46:36):
, in my humble opinion, how muchbigger God is than us.
Right and so the air that I wasbreathing was untampered with
the feeling I felt had nojudgment, had no, it was just.
It was just pure.
It was pure yeah, and so I thinkthat we're so out of touch with
that.

(46:56):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (46:57):
And I think that's.
That's a.
You know what we were talkingabout yesterday.
This is another element to thesame concept, and you said
something and it spurred thethought in my head, and kind of
the same words, about once weget to a point where we can love
more instead of looking for tobe loved more, right?
Something of those nature.
Yeah, then I think that we'rein a much better place, not only

(47:20):
in our homes and our individualcommunities, whatever, but it's
just people.

(47:24):
But that would be operating out of abundance instead of
scarcity, right?
So let's say love, yeah.
Let's say if we see a lack oflove in the world, right, if
that's a problem that existswhich I think it does then the
lack of love, wanting someone tofulfill that for you, right,
that's a fleeting thing.

(47:44):
It'll never happen.
It'll never happen, correct.

Speaker 2 (47:48):
It's a uphill battle all steps of the way, but it'll
never happen.

(47:52):
Maybe.
Well, not with a physical, notin the physical love from a
physical person, yeah, but whatI'm saying is seeking that to
fulfill you like somebody else'slove?
Yeah, for sure, yeah, yeah, butif you need somebody else's
love for you to fill whole.

Speaker 2 (48:04):
It's just a drop in a bucket in the grand scheme of
things.

(48:07):
Yeah, and if you see a lack of love out there but you're also
saying I just need somebodyelse's love, you're contributing
to the lack of love by seekinglove as opposed to giving it.
Yeah, and if we operate withabundance, look, love's free to
give.
You don't have to have a badmood or that.
No, it's free.

Speaker 2 (48:25):
It's free to be caring right, I got a phone
number that would tell youdifferent.

(48:29):
Yeah.
That's well, actually, you knowwhat?
Let me take that back.
It's not free to be caring.
It is not free to be caring.
Let me just go ahead and backthat one up.

Speaker 2 (48:39):
If there wasn't at it that would be great, but it
costs nothing from you as aperson.

(48:42):
There's no monetary cost.
There's no change in anythingthat you have to do other than
how you interact with it rightSure.
But if you're operating, if youhave an abundance of love, you
give love.
Giving love shows an abundanceright.

Speaker 2 (48:54):
Yeah.

(48:55):
Not giving love shows a lack.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
I think the majority of us with an abundance would do
the right thing.

(49:01):
I'm going to tell you that was very sassy.
I agree Either way, like you'reI agree.
Don't be petty, because Icalled you out early.

Speaker 2 (49:08):
I'm saying if most of us had an abundance, we would
do that by default.
I think that that is a great-.

(49:14):
What if we do have it, though?
What if we've been lied to andtold and treated and taught that
we don't have?

Speaker 2 (49:19):
it.
I believe we are our own enemyof the state, Like we're the one
that says we don't have it.

(49:24):
We're the one that stops us why though, why do we do that?

Speaker 2 (49:27):
Because it's easier to be a victim.

(49:28):
It's easier to be wanting than actually giving Maybe it is
easier, maybe, but maybe, maybeI don't know this, but maybe the
ways in which capitalism usesmarketing to tell us what they
want us to buy, believe and feel.

Speaker 2 (49:47):
Yeah, but capitalism doesn't use anything.

(49:49):
Well, you're correct, but because of capitalism.
I'm not saying capitalism is ablame.
I don't have anything wrongwith capitalism.
It's only very clear Capitalismexists.

Speaker 2 (49:58):
I have a chance with it, but that's-.

(50:00):
If it exists in a vacuum, it is what it is.
My point is not aboutcapitalism.
My point is about if that'sFuck, I got caught up on
capitalism.

Speaker 2 (50:12):
So it's not about it, but we're just going to catch
up, Well yeah, because I wastrying to dispel it by saying
something about capitalismCapitalism is marketing.

(50:19):
Oh yeah, so the marketing aspect of it, right.
So, because of capitalism, thething is, you want more money,
you want more.
So what's the best way to getmore money?
Sure, to get people to give youthe money that they have Sure.
OK.
So how do you get people togive you the money that they
have?
By convincing them that theyneed it.

(50:39):
They don't need that money,they need this instead, and so
ego marketing Me and David hadan episode about this too.
But think about a Dandruffcommercial.
Think about nobody probablythought Dandruff was
embarrassing.

Speaker 2 (50:55):
Until you have a black turtleneck on, and then
it's all over your shoulder.
And now, every time you see apretty girl, you're like fuck.

(51:01):
Do I have a Dandruff.
That's programming dude, you see.
So maybe it isn't so much thatit's easier, it's just like it's
so hard to fight against theconstant repetitious programming
that's given to us?
Yeah sure.
Starting at school.
It's fear-mongering, oh,absolutely, but so I don't even
want to get into it, never mind.

(51:22):
So we'll just keep it there,the fear aspect of it.
Right, that's what keeps peopleheld down, because, oh, if I
don't, oh, I'm so sick, like allof these negative fucking
things, you can literally do thesame thing.
Yeah.
Just with a different frame ofmind, you feel better about it.
Sure, the people around youappreciate it more, and the

(51:46):
result is quality.
Yeah, and quality I mean.
The thing is, my issue is thatpeople try to rush through shit.
I'm getting all of it Like I'mall over the place.
I'm starting to.

Speaker 2 (51:57):
I know there's a lot of thoughts that are interacting
there.
I get it.

(52:00):
Just having this whole fucking thing of issues with situations
.
Right, take two homeless people, hold them in a circle.

Speaker 2 (52:08):
No, you don't put two people in a circle, by the way,
we have to get back to thishalf circle thing, we'll get it.
Anyway.
So two homeless people right,they have the same.
They lack the same right.
Somebody asked a homelessperson for something Out of fear
.
One says I don't have it.
The other one says I have justenough to give you some as well.

(52:29):
What is the primary differencebetween those two people.
Don't say fear, because fear isobviously the conflict.

(52:37):
Well, the difference between the person is how they're having
that experience.
Yeah Right, so the person thathas enough to share, they're in
their experience, theyunderstand where they're at,
they're humbled.
Yeah.
Right, the person that isrefusal to give and all that
stuff.
Look, that might be the reasonwhy they're there.

(52:58):
But what about the other person?
The other person might be therefor different reasons.
Sure Thing is you can't judgesomeone why they're there.
But that experience thatthey're having, I would honestly
, the way that that person, ifthat person would be scared to
give it, I wouldn't blame themhonestly.
But if they're dealing withthat that way, they're going to
stay there.

Speaker 2 (53:18):
Yeah.

(53:18):
Right, that's going to be the.
You can't scare yourself into abetter situation Like you just
can't.
Maybe Maybe you can, but is ita better situation if you're
still scared?

Speaker 2 (53:28):
No, I don't know that it's that way.
Maybe we're talking about fearversus acknowledgment.
So, for example, we were havinga conversation about our
visions and stuff like that.
Well, I actually read somethingin the.
It was the Warrior Poet way,maybe, but it was talking about
doing a counter vision, meaningchange nothing and plan out the

(53:53):
route that you're headingwithout changing anything and
then do an assessment.
So I think that maybe that's alittle fearful, like because
nobody wants to look down theline and say I'm going to be
homeless or whatever the case.
It could be worse case than, orwhatever.
But I also think that there'svalue in being able to look at
both pros and cons.

(54:14):
Well, you have to see that it's possible, sure, right.
The thing is, if you can'taccept that it's possible or
real, it can happen.
Here's the thing it can stillhappen if you don't accept that.
Yeah.
But or if you do accept it, butif you accept the reality that
that's a potentiality, then youconsider it.
Then you're just like OK, well,if I don't pay my house note,
then I might be homeless.

(54:35):
Right.
Or if I don't like you know,like if I can't afford a place
to stay, then I might be home,like that's a legitimate thing,
but if you're so far away fromworried about being able to
afford a place to stay, yourconcerns are different.
But if you're still fearful,yeah.
I mean, I think people change.
I think maybe, like you, keepbeing scared until you're not,
like sometimes people amassmillions before they finally

(54:58):
figure out.
Damn, all I had to do was treatpeople better.

Speaker 2 (55:01):
See, I think that's the thing, and let's go back to
the original part of theconversation, from the jumpstart
I think, as we relate it tothat practice and things like
that.
So in my mind, from a practicalstandpoint, the difference
between those homeless people isone's been at it just a little
bit longer and they understandwhat they can do.

(55:18):
Yeah, one of them is new to this lifestyle Correct, so when
you're new to something.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
you're more in that scarcity mindset, right, You're
like I have nothing practically,I can't give everything.
Something just clicked for me.
I know it did.
That's why I'm here.
This is the service I providefor you.

(55:35):
Act like you've been there before.
It's not about pretendingyou've been there before.

Speaker 2 (55:38):
Act like you've been somewhere.

(55:40):
But it's not about pretending that you've been there.
It's about knowing that you aregoing to be there, correct?

Speaker 2 (55:44):
Yeah, I'm just, that's such a funny statement to
me.
Yeah, it is a funny statementReally, but it's like you've
been somewhere, but the thing is, is it kind of clicked?

(55:51):
for me it's like that might be what that fucking means.
That's the problem with fuckingwords, bro.
Yeah, that's the problem withwords.
And I said, oh cool, you gotthe computer, we can bring up
lyrics, yeah, so I've beentalking about this song a lot.
I want you to pull the lyricsof this song if you can find it.
And so it's called Till IDisappear by Sons of a Center.
All right.

Speaker 2 (56:14):
Also problem with words, this half circle thing,
quarter circle, quarter circleis the same problem.

(56:22):
It's a quarter of the problem.

Speaker 2 (56:23):
I'm going to tell you why, bro.
Because a half circle.

(56:27):
Till I Disappear, it's still a circle.
Yeah, it still makes a fullcircle.

Speaker 2 (56:31):
That's what I'm saying.
There's still a shape.
If there's no line, it's not acircle.
Yeah, I'm done.

(56:37):
What would that shape be called?

Speaker 2 (56:41):
A.

(56:42):
C Sons of a Center.

Speaker 2 (56:46):
Of a center Lyrics.
Oh yeah lyrics.
Hold on, stand by Technicaldifficulties.

(56:55):
Right.
So me and James have beenhaving this conversation about,
like about pain and and anddeath and, you know, shit going
on like depression, dark shitgoing on in people's lives,
right, and so the reason whyI've been bringing this song up
in a lot of live streams, I'vebeen talking to a lot of people
about it, I'm gonna tell you,for some reason, there's

(57:16):
something about this song thatjust fucking emphasizes what I'm
talking about when I'm talkingabout pain, right, and it says a
what part do you want that?

Speaker 2 (57:27):
that hit me right there.

(57:31):
That's not the right song it's not.
Now that's Sons of a Center byJelly Roll.

Speaker 2 (57:39):
That's what you said.
Son of the sons of a son of theband.

(57:42):
It's called till I disappear by Sons of a Center.

Speaker 2 (57:47):
I Disappear.

(57:51):
Hmm by.

Speaker 2 (57:53):
By Google them.
Don't you say that you know whoruns?
That now we know.
Knowing it's half the battle.

(58:02):
Yeah, that's the.
I found the lyrics once.
Let me see if I can find it onmy phone.
It's not.
It's not of those.

Speaker 2 (58:12):
No, keep going Dang it's, what's what's going on
here?
They try well.
No, it's not.
They're not a popular.

(58:19):
Now, there's not a popular.
They're not a popular band.
They're not.
It's not like a well-known bandsons of a center.

Speaker 2 (58:26):
How about we say until I disappear, here we go,
until I disappear.

(58:33):
Are you fine?

Speaker 2 (58:35):
Dude.

(58:36):
Yeah, yeah, it's all Jelly Rolls.

Speaker 2 (58:39):
Son of a, son of a center.

(58:41):
Yeah, that's tough.
Tough to have a band name, sonof a, son of a center, and then
Jelly Roll comes out with a songWell, fucking, wow, this is.
This is quite a it's a task.
Yeah, I didn't realize thatthis was gonna be such a Mm-hmm

(59:01):
a task.
Such a task.
Let me, just let me try this.
The stuff.
Oh, found it.
It's not gonna show up on Google, but I found it so okay the
reason now, the reason why it'snot gonna show up on Google is
because Just search for sons ofa center.
Like what did I search for?
Specifically Lyrics, type inspecifically this lyrics to till

(59:26):
I disappear by sons of a center.
Search it, go to the bottom andyou're gonna go to Go down,
keep keep going down.
There should music, the M music, this one.

(59:49):
Yeah, click on that one.
And then you're gonna click onthe band name up top.

Speaker 2 (59:53):
Yeah and then you'll find the song there.
Well, that was stupid.

(59:57):
Yeah, no quiet.
You see how hard it is to findthat yeah, quite a pain in the
ass, all right.
So there's a part of the songJames James is going through a
little bit, but there's a partof the song where it says Says I
drown myself in whiskey to numball the pain.
No matter how much I drink,none of it goes away.
Cigarettes mask the smell ofwhiskey on my breath.
I'm feeling empty like a bottlealone.

(01:00:18):
Nothing left that right there.
That emphasizes how I felt asan alcoholic.
Yeah that right there.
That is that is the.
The most representative Waythat I can say when how I felt.
Yeah, right, so I would dosomething to hide something else
that I was more ashamed of.
Right I was.

(01:00:38):
I was doing, everything wasempty, there was no feeling to
anything, but I knew that I wasgoing to be judged by it from
the people around me, so I triedto hide being that way because
I didn't want to be viewed thatas that person.

Speaker 2 (01:00:51):
Yeah, hi as the drunk or as a hurt.

(01:00:55):
As a hurt, I would actually be actually preferred to be viewed
as the drunk.
Yeah, weak person.
Yeah right, that was a betterimage for me.
Yeah because then a drunk's notweak, a drunk as a drunk.

Speaker 2 (01:01:04):
Yeah, an alcoholic.

(01:01:05):
It's a firefight.

Speaker 2 (01:01:06):
Yeah, yeah, I get it, man again.

(01:01:08):
So there's, you know, and there's another part of the song
.
It says shades in the bar.
Hide where I'm looking attonight, right wearing glass
sunglasses in the bar.
I'm drunk again and that comesno surprise.
It comes to no surprise.
The loneliness I feel isdriving me insane.
I put on a smile just to makeall my face, just to make it
through another day.
Yeah, bro.
This whole fucking song.
The whole song, and then thechorus is follow me, follow me

(01:01:31):
all the way down till Idisappear.
Yeah, well, you could thinkabout that yeah okay.
So that's why I think, that'swhy this song hits me is because
I think that there's a lot ofpeople a lot of men specifically
, but a lot of people feel thisway.
It's very representative andI'm gonna be honest with you.
I'm willing to bet the personwrote this song is still dealing

(01:01:51):
with this.
Maybe I'm willing, and I don'twant that to be the case.

Speaker 2 (01:01:56):
Well, this is, this is deep.

(01:01:58):
Here's the thing there's a lot of representation there.

Speaker 2 (01:02:01):
There might, and that might just be what it is as
well.
Right that keep in mind thatthere are also souls out there
that represent the.
The person that's not heard youknow.
So doesn't necessarily meanthat may not be their life, but
right, but they recognize thatthere's somebody out there like
you know.
That's the what.
That's a beautiful thing aboutmusic it's relatable.
Yeah right, and I think that's ait, not without sounding

(01:02:23):
Scamish.
It is marketable, right, andthat's the marketable thing to
it.
But the thing is is to gain theattention of somebody who might
be going through these thingsis to give them a 5050 shot and
understanding that this is whatthis is and Maybe they can do
something and, yeah, the bestpart for me was that I found it
after I felt like I'd beenthrough that darkest part and it

(01:02:43):
spoke my words to me.

(01:02:45):
If you will, yeah right.
It's something that I had spenttime with and it come to this
understanding that that is whatI did and how I did it.
And Then somebody, and then Ihear this song and it's like oh,
the lyrics are simple, butDoesn't matter, and it's only
three chords, it's an easy songto play.
Also, it's a very it's I don'tknow, it's very representative.

Speaker 2 (01:03:08):
Yeah, I was just sitting here looking at
something in reference to that.
So Talk about this just alittle bit.
I'm not gonna give anyspecifics or any names or
anything, but this is something.
The reason we brought this songup was because this past week I
had somebody that I was prettyclose with Not overly close, and

(01:03:30):
I haven't talked to him inabout a year and a half or so
but that he took his own lifethis past weekend.
And the thing is is, as I'm, asI'm looking at Look, there's a
whole text message from him.
As I'm looking at the lyricstalking about so I draw myself
in whiskey, them all the pain,no, no matter how much I drink,
none of it goes away.

(01:03:50):
Cigarettes mask the smell ofwhiskey on my breath.
I'm feeling empty, like abottle alone, nothing left.
And so one of the things that I, you know, and I again I don't
want to get too much intospecifics, but I want maybe
somebody will relate to this andunderstand, because it dealing
with dealing with somebody inyour life that decides to make
or what decides.

(01:04:11):
It feels like there's no option, right?
No other option than to takeMatters into their own hands and
make that final decision.
There's considerations that weowe People like that,
understanding that this doesn'tcome out of nowhere.
This is something that buildsand builds and builds and and
you know, I'm sitting thinkingabout this guy I don't the guy
we're selling Maybe, maybe twiceI saw him without glasses on

(01:04:33):
his face, shades always, always,always on the bike, off the
bike, in Bars, you know,wherever else, right, and and it
was.
We all contributed to the image, right?
And that might be what it is,just in a different way than
what we thought.
But I was telling Daniel andsome other people that I've been
talking to about this myself.
I left that life, and I leftthat life because there was a

(01:04:56):
lot of this repetitive in thelyrics, as it claims that you're
feeling empty, you know, and,and the great thing about things
like this, I think that, numberone, it exists because it's a
group of people, it's a tribe,it's somewhere you can belong.
So that's, that's foundational.
And think all of us want that,we want to belong.

(01:05:17):
You know, it doesn't have to besome validation thing, it
didn't have to be some seekingthing.
It just at some point in timein our lives I do believe that
we want to belong somewherearound somebody right, and when
we get into those and thisreally comes down to what kind
of tribe we get into that's whenwe start figuring out the
character of content.
What things do you wind up doinginside of this group?

(01:05:40):
What's encouraged, what's notencouraged?
Are you in a for the lack of abetter term, are you in a safe
space or are you in a very riskyspace?
Right, and we can cut toenailsof this whole thing forever.
But the thing is that Irealized is within my own self.
I realized I was going down apath where I was starting to ask

(01:06:03):
questions of myself that I'venever asked before, and I still
had the desire to haveconversations about things I
knew I should have conversationsabout growing as a man, a young
man, but nobody was interestedBecause it just wasn't the
climate that we were in, and itwas a weak thing to be weak.

(01:06:23):
It was a weak thing to becurious about growth and things
like that we talk about here,and so I recognized that he had
the same problem and when hefound that it was a problem, he
tried to replace that withsomething else that he chased.
So back to the cigarettes mask.
The smell of whiskey on hisbreath.

(01:06:44):
The next best thing waswhatever he decided to chase,
which we've talked about, andthen still feeling empty like a
bottle.
Right, it just goes to showthat we have a real problem with
this.
You know, and after talking to10, 15, 20 guys or so in the
past few days, five days or so,there's a lot of different takes

(01:07:05):
on this and the understandingthat I've come to.
Even though I am confused and Iam a little angry about it and I
am the way I am right now withthis because I'm still
processing it in my own way I dounderstand that it's not just
as simple when you have somebodythat's here in this spot in
their lives.
It's not as simple as snappingout of it.

(01:07:26):
It is just like putting onweight.
It takes just as long to getthe weight off.
Remember how much work it tookyou to put it on.
You gotta do just the same, ifnot more, work, to get it off.
And I think, as we discuss whatwe're discussing about the
abundance mentality, or lovingmore than expecting love in

(01:07:49):
return, because that's a given.
I think when you love, you getit right, you fulfill yourself
as you fulfill others.

(01:07:56):
It's like, well, the Celtic thing that you brought up
earlier.
When I harmed someone else, Ionly harmed myself, or?
Whatever right, that's in theend.
So if you love others, guesswhat you just did.
You loved yourself.
You loved yourself, yep Rightand so but here's the thing.
So God says you gotta domiracles right.
Miracles, that's yourobligation here, and miracles

(01:08:18):
are just acts of love.
Yeah.
Acts of love, kindness, right,all things good, all that shit
right and so, with somebody inthat state of mind such as
myself and how I've have beenthe only way to survive.
There is other people's love,seriously and so, but you can't
expect it of other people.
That's the problem.

(01:08:38):
It shouldn't be an expectation,because when you expect other
people to do it and they can'tor don't, you know what I'm
saying Like it's this weird game.
But the problem is whensomebody's in that deep, dark
spot, they just need to be lovedand they need to be helped
through the process, because thething is patting them on the
back saying add a boy, andwalking away saying you got this

(01:08:59):
, yeah, but you don't.
That's not.
It's like telling somebody justpray about it.
Motherfucker, brand's why I'mhere, like that's how I feel,
right, right.
You can't tell me to keepchugging away Like I don't feel,
like I'm fucking doing anythingright, everything's failing,
everything is going the rightway, even though some things may
fall my way, I miss them anddon't see them because I'm so
focused on the fucking guilt,pain, the shame, all the wrongs,

(01:09:23):
and then, when I wake up thenext day, I'm reminded of all of
the other things that I did theprevious day that I wasn't
aware of because I was focusedon the other shit that I did and
it just keeps building andbuilding and building, and
inevitably the way our enemyworks.

Speaker 2 (01:09:34):
Then you get the phone call of hey, by the way,
you're getting evicted, or hey,by the way, you're fired Because
it's like when that song, whenit rains it pours, yeah,
basically, and it's, I believethat I believe that.
Oh, when it rains, it pours.

(01:09:48):
I don't get to see my future ex-wife mother anymore, so just
for origin.
Oh, when it rains, the wordmiracle originates.

Speaker 2 (01:09:56):
In Latin it's from Mirus, which is wonderful, mirau
, mirari, which is to wonder.
Mirari, yeah.
And then miraculum is theobject of wonder.
To middle English it meanswonderful, yeah, so miracle,
yeah, so yeah.

(01:10:17):
And so, like in all reality, like I don't really know how
someone gets out of, likeexactly where they are, because
only they know exactly wherethey are, but as someone that's
been to my bottom, right to mybottom, to where I made the
decision to kill myself and allthat shit right Go through this

(01:10:40):
whole experience and all thesethings and ever since then
there's been a whole differentview of life.
Right, I know some people don'tget that opportunity because
there's some fall through, right, maybe because of my lack of
fall through finally paid off,right, not to make a lot of it
too much, but the reality is islike I'm.
I had to recover from that man.

(01:11:04):
I'm not there anymore, though,right, and so something happened
.
Something changed, all right,and I spent a very long time of
my life trying to betterunderstand why I'm so fucked up.
That's how I talk to him.
Why are you so fucked up?
Why do you treat the why areyou so fucked up, man?
Like?
Why do you keep doing this shit?
Why do you keep fucking talking?
Why do you keep doing thesethings that are causing more
fucking?
Why do you keep fucking doingthis shit Every day?

(01:11:26):
Every day.
That's how I talk to myself,instead of saying man, I
understand why you're doing that.
But you don't have to.
You don't have to, man, andthat's how I had to start
talking to myself.
But it took a lot of fuckingabuse of myself for me to
finally stop talking to myselfthat way, because I started not
letting other people talk to methat way.

Speaker 2 (01:11:45):
Well, that's the point, right there.
So keep in mind what you justdescribed is also how other
people interact with this.
For example, lean on me whenyou need a guiding hand.
Okay, let me bring something toyou that I learned about this
past few weeks ago.
Somebody that I knew other thanthis guy Somebody I knew said

(01:12:07):
they were having a problem.
My response to them this was ona phone call conference between
like 150 men.
My response was if you needanything, call me.
Somebody else said you call himBecause, realistically, he
needs something.
Yep, and he's not gonna tell youand he's saying it and he's not

(01:12:27):
gonna tell you he needsanything further.
So I think that's what we do.
Who was it?
Somebody on my team asked methe next day or that same day.
I found out and he said so.
Like I already know, you'vealready asked your question
about what could you have donebetter.
Right, and I particularlydidn't feel any guilt or shame
in that because I didn't havemuch to do with that, but it was

(01:12:50):
a great question because Ididn't know and I had to think
about it and I was thinking Iguess the only thing I think I
could have done better isproactively reach out to him
instead of saying you can reachout to me if you need my help.

(01:13:07):
But now you know, for other people.

Speaker 2 (01:13:09):
Right right.

(01:13:10):
That's your lesson that you've received here right.
It's like that's why you can'tfeel guilt and shame, because if
you'd have known, you fuckingwould've.
Right, you have to have faithin yourself.
If I would've known, I would've.
If I'd have known that thatwould've helped, I would've done
it.

Speaker 2 (01:13:22):
Well, I think most people think and I did, I'm not
gonna lie.
I thought that, in general,when you're talking about people
who are struggling, I thinkthat the default is let me know
if I can help you.
Right, that's the default.

(01:13:37):
And I think it's genuine.
I think so too.
I think genuinely.

Speaker 2 (01:13:41):
But it doesn't go full circle man.

(01:13:42):
It's not empathetic.

Speaker 2 (01:13:43):
It's sympathetic.

(01:13:44):
It's sympathetic yeah, it's not empathetic, it's not an
understanding of where theyreally are, and sometimes and
again.

Speaker 2 (01:13:48):
I hate to admit this, but I think sometimes it also
is a little bit egotistical.

(01:13:52):
Oh yeah, like well I said, I said Honestly, I told him I
would help.

Speaker 2 (01:13:55):
Yeah, I said I'd help , he just didn't do it he didn't
make the choice Right.

(01:13:59):
The thing is you didn't give him something to confront.
Correct, and I'm not saying youhave to battery somebody.
No 100%.
But like show up, like look, I'mgonna tell you I have a very
good friend.
I'm not gonna say any names,I'm not gonna give any way any
2D deals, but this person, thisfriend, they, we had lost touch.
We weren't really engaged.
We weren't engaged at all witheach other.

(01:14:21):
We had a physical altercation.
Done, no more yeah yeah, I wasplanning on never talking to
this person ever again.
And somewhere out of the blue,four or five years later, this
person calls me and gets incontact.
Says, hey, join the military todo all this stuff, you know.
Just wanna let you know I'mokay.
Yeah.
You know, this is how you doingall this stuff, right, like you
know.
And then later on in life, acouple years later, this

(01:14:45):
person's in a bad spell, stillin the military stateside, but
drugs, shit like that.
Yep, you know, I'd recently hada kid and they were over at my
house with several people andthey started doing drugs.
You know, look, I'm gonna behonest with you, I don't really
give a fuck that they were doingdrugs.
I just don't give a shit LikeI've never really been well, as

(01:15:06):
an adult I haven't been.
Yeah.
But him particularly, you know.
He said something that thentriggered me.
All right, we were separatefrom everybody else and I said
let me talk to you for a minute.
We went back there and we weretalking and he said something
that fucking triggered me.
I put him up against the wall,started screaming at him and I

(01:15:28):
felt the fear that I know he wasunwilling to acknowledge.
Yeah.
So I put it in his fucking face,and I didn't do this to hurt
him.
Yeah.
I did this because I cared abouthis kid, yeah, and I cared
about him being a good dad,because that's all he ever
fucking wanted to be.

(01:15:48):
And you're gonna get a fuckingshot to do it and you're gonna
throw it away.
That's kind of the approachthat I took.
It's like it's all you've everwanted to be in.
You're already checking thefuck out, dude.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
Like?
What the fuck are you doing?
Well, there's a lot of thingsthat change in that person's
life.
I'm not saying I caused thechange, but what I'm saying is
like I might have never seen himagain after that man.

(01:16:11):
Yeah.
And I'm not saying, and thething is, I was willing to hold
his fucking hand througheverything.
Yeah, If he needed me tofucking call doctors, if he
needed, I would have done any ofit.
I needed him to be there forhis daughter.
Yeah, I needed him to show upfor his kid.
I needed him to show up forsomething that he is not lost
yet.
Yeah.
Because he was going to yeah andI'd yet had not gone through

(01:16:32):
the shit that I've been throughin regards to my relationships,
my kids and things like that.
But yeah.
You know, when you knowsomebody their whole fucking
life and you see them go throughsome hardships, even if you
don't like them so much, youstill care about them.
Yeah sure, right.
And then when you see that they, oh, they're making some
changes, they're doing somethings in their life, they're
going better, and like, okay,cool, well, maybe.
And then they start makingthose choices again that cause

(01:16:54):
you to separate to begin with,yep, I'm not doing this shit
again.
Yep, we're not doing this shitagain.
All right, this isn't going tobe a physical altercation,
because I'm not fighting you,but I'm going to tell you what
I'm going to tell you.
You do with it what you want,but I'm going to be here no
matter what.
And the thing is like, there'sprobably been a lot of ups and
downs, and some of them, but himand I, since then, we've been
close.
We've been not close, but weremain in relationship with each

(01:17:17):
other, I think, on the puresimple fact that, like I know,
he has my best interests in mindand I have his and I know if I
step out of line he'll tell mehe'll check me, because he owes
me that.
Yeah.
And not because of an obligatoryreason.

Speaker 2 (01:17:30):
Yeah, I understand.

(01:17:31):
But he owes me that because he knows that I would give that to
him.
So that's just a small example.
There's a lot of people that asI go back and I think about my
life, I was so scared of them toend up where I was at.
Yeah.
I was like you don't fuckingwant to be here, like do better.
I can't do better, but fuckingat least you can do better.

(01:17:53):
Yeah, and I think a lot ofpeople take that approach too,
man, like just thinking aboutthat right now, like I can't do
better, but you can.
Yeah.
But that's just never true.
No, that's never true.
Yeah, and so that allows us tojustify how we continue to be,
while also trying to holdsomebody else to the stick.
Right, and I because-.

Speaker 2 (01:18:10):
Which is a sickness, by the way.

(01:18:12):
Yeah, it's perpetuating that.
Well, that pop filter wouldhave been nicer.
Yes, sorry, perpetuate.
No, my popping Perpetuating theproblem.
I don't know, man.
There's a lot of things thatthat, when people are going
through shit, man, it's likethere's really no like surefire
way to help them, other than toknow that I care about this
person and I'm going to do thebest that I can to continue to

(01:18:34):
do that.
Yeah.
We can't judge them for themistakes that they make and
where they're at, because Godforbid all the skeletons in our
closet that we're hiding from,that we're not showing the world
.
Yeah, that's why we feel bad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah for sure, Allof those things that we're
ashamed of, that we're scared ofpeople finding out, all these
things in our past that we hopepeople don't know about.
That's what's got us fucked up.
Yeah.
All right.

(01:18:55):
And our unwillingness to talkto people about those things,
our unwillingness to be able tosay, hey look, man, like fuck it
, man, fuck it.
Sometimes you do blow off ahooker's ass, like and then you
don't do that anymore, likesometimes that happens.
Yeah, you know what I mean,Like you can have a time in your
life where you're fucking doingall this crazy wild shit and
all this stuff like that doesn'texcuse it, though, right.

(01:19:15):
Yeah.
Like, you get to make a changeto improve yourself.
You always get a chance and Ijust don't want people to lose
that hope Because no matter howfar down the road of alcoholism
or drugs or whatever it is thatthey're on, I still want to hold
out hope that they're going toget it.
Like they're going to figure itout Sure, and like if I feel
obligated and I'm not saying myown personal I need to do

(01:19:37):
something to help them.
I'm drawn to do things and whenI do things it is helpful.
Yeah.
But it's because I allow myselfto be used to be helpful as
opposed to trying to go be asavior.

Speaker 2 (01:19:49):
Yeah, yeah, for sure.

(01:19:50):
Because you can't be a savior to people, man, but you really
got to hope for the best forthem and think to yourself what
the fuck can I do to help themunderstand what I know will help
them, because telling themdon't work.

Speaker 2 (01:19:59):
Yeah, it doesn't, no, I don't know man.
Even in some cases, showingthem doesn't work.
You know that's like they'reliving a whole different type of
life.
That might be worse sometimes.
I think so too.

(01:20:07):
Just silently showing them.

Speaker 2 (01:20:09):
Yeah.

(01:20:09):
Because then they get to interpret it.
They don't know why you makethose decisions.
They don't know why you lookboth ways before you cross the
street.

Speaker 2 (01:20:15):
These guys trying to make me look bad, or look at
this guy thinking you know, Iunderstand that and I respect
that part of it too.

(01:20:22):
Because maybe they are.

Speaker 2 (01:20:24):
I think it becomes tricky.
It is a tricky situationBecause I'm going to be honest
with you, statistically showing,like it's been proven, that
probably for every five to 10people around you, there's three
or four going through it.
You know, and you'll never know, the suicide rate of men proves
that yeah you'll never know.
And the thing is is that you'llnever know if you don't find out

(01:20:45):
.
And when you find out, thenit's a delicate process.
It's not.
You know.
There are some people in thisworld that can go through the
ungebunga process, like I mean,I've got a friend that I
actually smacked it right acrosshis fucking mouth because he
was an alcoholic and he wasmaking really bad decisions
almost life threatening, stillmade me feel like a piece of

(01:21:08):
shit.
And you know what happened whenhe got home?
He drank fucking more, right,ok.
So this tough love thing, itdoes work, but it's not the
default and it has to bewell-placed.

(01:21:18):
It's a tool and a bag.

Speaker 2 (01:21:20):
It certainly is man it is, and I think that we
really know when that is, but ifyou feel guilt and shame from
it was it really loving, Was itreally loving?

(01:21:30):
And like that's the thing too, but you shouldn't.
If you did, you shouldn't feelguilt and shame from it because
you did what you thought wasbest and then fuck, maybe that
wasn't out.
You know, like that's given itto the Holy Spirit saying, hey
look, look, I acted in a waythat was out of character.
I acted in a way that wasunpure, to my like, what I
intended to do, but I didn'tknow what else to do, right.

(01:21:50):
So, help me to better.
You know, like that's the thing, like you've got to give it,
you have to accept it.
Like no, I shouldn't havefucking slapped it.

Speaker 2 (01:21:56):
What's funny is that like, as I was saying earlier,
that culture that we were inbecause I was still in the club
and he was, too, this other guy.
And that's the culture.
You know what I mean.
That's why that's what like.
So, for example, if I were togo to some guys that I'm in this
group with now and try to actlike that like I'm only reminded
that Joe Rogan's, where he'stalking to Brian, is a Brian

(01:22:18):
Callan he's like I would murderthat motherfucker.
He's like what are you talkingabout, bro?
You've gone through your wholelife talking like that and guys
have just let you talk like that.
That's just not going to flyhere, bro.
You're not murdering anybody.
Shut the fuck up.
You know, essentially in muchmore philosophical words, but
it's same concept, man.
That was the culture that wehad, and so, not to mention the
fact that, as I was growing up,people that talked about killing

(01:22:41):
themselves right, people thattalked about that they were
shunned bro.
They were shunned 100%, andespecially if you care for
somebody that does that.

(01:22:48):
Oh yeah, you want to smack the shit out of them.
This is part of what fucked meup with religion.
My mom killed herself, rightyeah.
And so now church tells me thatsuicide's one of the worst
things.
You're definitely going to hell.
Yeah, I'm like wow, why'd afucking inspire a fucking
nine-year-old?
You know what I'm saying?
Like right, like maybe that'strue.
I'm not arguing whether it isor not, but like, come on.

Speaker 2 (01:23:10):
Definitely time and place, and not to mention the
fact, like you didn't ask forthat and the reality is, that's
their fear, that's their belief,right?
That's their fear.
I would agree with that.
I agree with that.

(01:23:20):
And so I went a long time carrying somebody else's fear
about what that is, yeah, andthen I go through my own fucking
struggle of it, because I'mcarrying somebody else's fear of
what this is, and then I'mfaced with my own fucking
reality of do I die or do I live.

Speaker 2 (01:23:33):
Yeah.

(01:23:34):
And the thing is is like maybe that whole thing could have
been avoided.

Speaker 2 (01:23:38):
See, that's easy.
I think that's easier for me tointerpret in the opposite way,
though, because, like for me, Idon't know if it's a fact, but
if it's a possibility, right,but even believing that, dude,
the possibility makes it a factof it being possible.

(01:23:54):
Well, what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 (01:23:54):
is that?
What I'm saying is that, likeso, even in the times that my
shadow times, if you will Iwasn't fully committed, except
for one time, but it was a flop,100% flop, and even then I felt
foolish because I didn't wantto die.
I don't want to die.
But then the thing is, is thatthat is play a variable in my
mind, right as far as thatbelief of it's like the one

(01:24:16):
unforgivable sin, because youcan't repent for that, bro, I
wanted to die, I wanted nothingmore.

(01:24:20):
That's why I was so reckless with everything.
But I wanted to die, butnothing would fucking take me
out.
But I tried to stay within theparameters, like socially
acceptable.
But also I was a fucking idiot.
I was doing stupid shit.
I was all kind of I just had adeath wish man.
The thing was is everybody sawthat as courageous?
No, motherfucker, I was scared.

Speaker 2 (01:24:42):
I was so scared.
Well, surface value.

(01:24:45):
But that's why I acted that way is because I was scared.
And I was running from that fear.

Speaker 2 (01:24:50):
I agree with that, man Right.

(01:24:52):
And so like that's again, it's like the dopamine hit that
adrenaline rush from going fastbro.

Speaker 2 (01:24:56):
Yeah, that adrenaline rush, if you make it through,
you make it through another day,and then you know.

(01:25:00):
OK, you go 100 miles an hour.
Right here You're like OK, well, how do I still go 100 miles an
hour?
No hands.
Like you know like that's howall of my shit progressed.
All of it, yeah.
Bro, and then it took me finallycalming the fuck down.

Speaker 2 (01:25:12):
Yeah.

(01:25:13):
And then I break my collarbone and I tear my fucking neck, but
this whole time while I'mtrying to fucking basically
destroy myself.
I was fucking invincible dude.

Speaker 2 (01:25:23):
Yeah, yeah.

(01:25:24):
Nothing would stop me or hurt me.
I was just fucking reckless.
Yeah.
But the thing is, I think I hadto survive that To understand
the reason why I was that way.
It was like you know what I'msaying.
So like.
You lost the pissing contest iswhat happened Essentially.

Speaker 2 (01:25:40):
Yeah, yeah, it pulled harder than you did, yeah.
And you know my ego, my egodidn't like that, Of course it
didn't my ego didn't like,because then you're just like
well, god, I can't even do thisright.
I mean yeah.

(01:25:51):
But you know, then I had to have an all of a sudden change
because I knew that I was done.
I did not want to be here.
Then I had this come to Jesusmeeting, if you will, With
whatever.
Wherever I was, however, I was.
Yeah.
And I just knew that I couldn'tput my gifts in when I went
through.
Sure, I had the consciousthought but here's the thing I

(01:26:13):
not had that experience whatI've had, that thought.
Yeah, but maybe I was going tohave to deal with depression.
Maybe it was always going toget that low.
Maybe it was always going to bethat bad when it happened.
That was the unknown.
But maybe it was inevitablebecause of the way I perceive
these things.
But then, when I faced withthat same reality on the other
side because I was having a lotof PTSD symptoms at that point

(01:26:36):
from being a child when my kidso my son was getting older he
was the ages that I was at withher A lot of shit, right, and a
lot of the things that I did wasfucking the shit my parents did
to me.
I didn't want to do it.

Speaker 2 (01:26:48):
Yeah.

(01:26:49):
I just kept feeling guilty Just programming.
They just kept fucking me upmore and more and more and like
all of these things, and then Iget to that point I was like man
, I can't fucking like theirmom's, like not okay, like can't
leave them with her, likethat's not.
And that might be a good thingtoo that she wasn't okay,
because at least again Iconsciously was aware of the

(01:27:11):
fact that, like I cared, Ididn't wanna fucking do that to
my kids.
So I was reasonably thinkinglike I'm a problem for everyone
except for my kids, becauseeveryone around I thought I was
the best chance my kids had tomake it Right and so I didn't
trust anybody else to be able totake care of my kids.

(01:27:32):
So I had to change something,man, because I don't maybe that
lack of, but again that was mylack of faith in people.
That's where you were there,man, I get that, and so, but
that's what I hung on to andthat's what.
That's not what kept me alive.
That's what kept me making thedecisions to stay alive after
that, because I was no longerwanting to die.
I was like I gotta stay alive.
I still wanted to kill myselfFrom time to time.

(01:27:54):
I still wanted to die.
But then I would think aboutlike can't have my fucking kids,
man, I can't do this, and thethought would be fleeting, it
would leave.
But then I would have to be onmedication for a little while
because I couldn't get rid ofthe thought.
The thought would stay there.
So to get off the medication.
I was able to focus on life.
I'd do life, get off themedication, be good for a little
bit, and then I'd fuckingsomething bad would happen.
I would turn in on myself.
My immediate reaction wasalways to turn in on myself.

(01:28:15):
Always and then I fucking beatmyself to death, literally,
almost literally beat myself todeath Just constantly hounding
myself and pushing and houndingand never being able to catch my
breath, man, but then finallythe medications, going to
therapy, just doing thesedifferent fucking things, like
God.
I gotta find some fuckingrelief here, because I chose to
quit drinking.

(01:28:36):
Because, I knew that if I wasgoing to keep my kids, if my
ex-wife took me to court, Icouldn't drink.
So I stopped drinking before Ieven tried to kill myself.
It's probably why I was tryingto kill myself.
Because I was done drinking.
I'd given it up.
So next best thing, right.
And so, like all this shit, andit's like I had to fucking face
it, dude, now it's probably thebest thing that I ever did was

(01:28:56):
feeling all of that pain justfucking facing it head on but
then knowing like I gotta stayhere because this is the best
shot that they have.

Speaker 2 (01:29:03):
Yeah.

(01:29:04):
Right, and if I think back, there's friends that probably I
felt that way about.
There's a lot more than justwhat I give credit to.

Speaker 2 (01:29:10):
Yeah.

(01:29:11):
Right, because you have to find something positive to hang
on to.

Speaker 2 (01:29:14):
Yeah, I was gonna say that you just have to Kind of
the analogy of just likecarrying around like 15
dumbbells on your back, right,it's just a matter of it sucks
for everybody.
It's not an optimal situation,but you make the decision is
what you're chasing worth it?
If it's not, find somethingthat's worth it?
Because, look, I firmly believeall of us go through the
spirals.

(01:29:35):
I do believe that?
Yeah, I think, but you know,based upon your programming and
how like and I say programming,but your background.

Speaker 2 (01:29:41):
Yeah, of course Like.

(01:29:42):
what does that spiral do to you?

Speaker 2 (01:29:45):
Me personally, man, like I mean, I went through a
whole fucking thing last yearfor like seven months straight
bro.

(01:29:51):
How many times has it happened in your life, Maybe three maybe
.
So, like I guess, in my lifeI've had this reoccurring thing
since I was a kid.

Speaker 2 (01:29:59):
Well, yeah, it's a constant for some people.
I get that.

(01:30:01):
And then there's some seasons where it's heavier than others,
but it's always a cycle, italways exists.

Speaker 2 (01:30:06):
The question I have been kind of and this ties back
into what we were talking aboutearlier about the courage,
confidence, competence thing sothose things give you awareness
and you're obviously on top ofthat part of it now, right, so
that has to become the default.

(01:30:21):
I don't know that everybody gets that access to those things
.
I don't think.
No, I'm talking about youspecifically because that's what
we're talking about, right?

Speaker 2 (01:30:27):
It's a matter of I think.
Everybody has access to thingslike that.

(01:30:30):
Right, I agree with you.
It's just a matter of if itlines up with what they're doing
.
It's available.

Speaker 2 (01:30:35):
And that's where this whole thing with the club life
man it's a distraction, right?
It's exactly what it is, andlet me tell you this right now
even things that are positive,like the one I'm in that can be
a distraction People use it as ajob yeah a job.

(01:30:49):
I used my job as a distraction to keep from dealing with my
problems.

Speaker 2 (01:30:53):
I just worked all the time.
Well, let me ask you this Cause.
I mean, I kind of have a theoryon this.
Why do you think, besides, likethe default answer of it was
just a distraction, why do youthink you and or most men, it
was socially acceptable Forusing work?

(01:31:12):
Yeah, as an excuse, because nobody's gonna criticize you
bringing the bread bro.

Speaker 2 (01:31:16):
Well, maybe not, but think about this deeper, because
you personally, I know you andI know your work ethic, and your
work ethic was stellar.
You got respect for that.

(01:31:26):
Yeah, you get admiration and respect those.
Congratulate those.
I feel like I'm doing a goodjob.

Speaker 2 (01:31:31):
Right, you seek that like, so I think that's a good
way, that's a good, it's a goodconnect a dot right.
But then we get to that pointwhere we're just we're stuck
there.

(01:31:42):
It's the same as any addiction .
As any positive or negativething, because there's something
else not getting dealt withbecause we're devoting so much
of us to that Correct.

Speaker 2 (01:31:52):
And I believe that those things should be in
seasons.

(01:31:55):
That's an identity though.
Right, it can be, absolutely.
The thing is so.
Like those are, you're puttingwork and effort into.
Like those congratulate me.
Let's talk about me.
Sure, if I'm putting work intothose congratulatory things and
things that I get praise for,what happens when I run out of
praise?
I get bored bro I got bored withthose jobs because I rent.
Well, yeah, cause I got bored.

(01:32:15):
Yeah, bro, I don't get firedbecause I'm doing a bad job, I
get fired because I got boredand quit doing it.
Yeah, well, that's and that'sme.

Speaker 2 (01:32:22):
That's one element of it.
Right, that's one aspect of it.
The other part is is that sothere's been some science on
about this, but my belief, basedon what makes sense, is that
men will typically stay wherethey feel appreciated Right.

(01:32:36):
Oh yeah, where they feel respected, even in a
relationship.

Speaker 2 (01:32:39):
Which is why I think it's literally the entry door to
why somebody will stay at a 12hour shift or a 14 hour shift,
even though it sucks, it wouldsuck for an hour, bro, and I
knew how to get that out ofpeople.
That's what I'm saying right.

(01:32:50):
Yeah, that's a good part Because I appreciated.
But the thing is I genuinelyappreciated Correct.
I was like damn.
Thank you Like fuck, yeah, yeah.
You know, and I think thatthere's a thing that misses with
you, because they're expecting.
Oh, I asked you to come in.
I asked you to come in and it'slike no bitch.
Look, I'm gonna tell you onetime, but I said please Look, I
had.
Look, I'm gonna tell you thisis why I love dealing with older

(01:33:13):
people, bro.
Look, I was like 20 somethingyears.
I was 23, 24, I'm fucking like.
You know, it's super positive,I'm in charge of it.
I got these people that areretired or, you know, near
retirement, 55 years old, andthey're just like they're not
going to be fucking told what todo by some 23 year old.
There's two things that I likeabout that.
Number one it made me had to becreative because they were
going to listen to me.

(01:33:34):
But the other thing is, too, isit made me understand like I
need to respect their space, Ofcourse, Because look, a 50 year
old, somebody that's gotgrandkids and is like they're
not coming to fucking work.
I'm sorry Like fuck this job.
I'm a grand kid.
That's the first one I'm notcoming to work.
No matter how bad you need me,my family's just a little bit

(01:33:57):
more important.

Speaker 2 (01:33:58):
Well, you're also the recipient of that too.
Like when you get to be aroundpeople like that, you start to
learn the value in this seekingfor wit, right and this
knowledge seeking.
It's the same concept ofseeking of items and in time and
money, and space and things,but then you realize it's all
gonna be gone, right.
What's interesting is you made astatement that brought this one

(01:34:20):
sentence alive for me, and thislady named Ray Luca, Ray Luca
used to be the HR lady at theMarriott, the Corgi Marriott,
and she said to me during myinterview she said no, yeah, it
was during the interview.
She said remember that as asupervisor or a manager, you can
be right, 100% right, but youcan also be dead right, Meaning

(01:34:47):
let's think about you trying topull the big dick move over a 53
year old.
You're gonna find yourself dickin hand and then the water by
yourself and then, what you have, a whole other type of problem.

(01:34:58):
So it comes from you gotta manage the egos of what's around
there.
100% man.
And you have to be aware, andyou can't be bulldog and shit.

Speaker 2 (01:35:05):
Yeah.

(01:35:05):
And that's the look.
There's a lot of things, so Iwanna point this out because
I've been seeing this patternright, I've pointed this out on
live streams, I've said this onother podcasts people with these
patient student driver stickers.
Bro I see so many of them.
They are not fucking studentdrivers.
Okay, but think about themessage that this should send to
people right.

(01:35:26):
There's so many people thatclearly are not student drivers,
that are still timid drivers,that just don't want to get
fucking honked at.
They wanna be given space to beable to get.
They don't wanna fight on thefucking road, right?
And the thing is and this ishow people are, though right,
that we gotta put a fuckingsticker on ourselves saying hey,
take it easy on me, hey, don'tfuck with me or I'll cry.

Speaker 2 (01:35:46):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

(01:35:49):
But the thing is is like if we could take that message for the
truthful aspect of it.
It's like, damn, maybe we'rebeing a little too hard on the
people around us, Like maybewe're expecting them to do and
be something that's not true orreal to them.

Speaker 2 (01:36:04):
Correct.

(01:36:05):
And we're viewing what they should do through our lens, but
it's not even ours.
It's what we were told Correctand we're keeping that fucking
bullshit alive.

Speaker 2 (01:36:11):
And that's not theirs .
It was that they were told andso forth and so forth.
And we're keeping it alive.
Yeah, we're keeping it alive.
There's a greater lens.
There's a greater lens to live.

(01:36:19):
So that's why I think that there's a lot of value in
tradition that you understandwhat the tradition is for.
That's why these group thingsare really nice and cool is
because you have some traditionright.
I've always loved the idea ofright of passage.
I've always loved the idea ofthere's a group part, but
there's also what are youcontributing to the group?
So your right of passage islike go fucking, show us what
you're bringing.
We've brought you through this,we've shown you the culture.

(01:36:42):
If you take that mindset outthere, go show us what you're
gonna bring us and that's thevalue that the person, that's
the walk about.
If you will For sure you earnyour place there.
We all have to do that insociety, but this weird, fucking
gross thing that we do of ourwalk to that, go get a fucking
job yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:37:03):
That's what we have to do in the meantime.

(01:37:04):
We have to do that, but the reality is what if it was just
as simple as you go out, youkill a line, you come back here,
accepted by your people.

Speaker 2 (01:37:11):
Yeah, it could be as simple as that.
You know what I'm saying, butit's not.

(01:37:13):
We have to continuously prove that we're valuable.

Speaker 2 (01:37:16):
100% agree with that.

(01:37:17):
The thing is we should know we're valuable.

Speaker 2 (01:37:18):
Yeah, 100%.

(01:37:19):
But we're told all the time that we're not.

Speaker 2 (01:37:21):
Yeah.

(01:37:22):
And so that leads to these societal ideologies.
Right, Like I'm not valuable onpieces, shit.

Speaker 2 (01:37:26):
Well, okay, hold on.
So I do agree with you.

(01:37:29):
And I'm not saying it's everywhere all the time.

Speaker 2 (01:37:31):
But you gotta consider, just like as we're
advocating, for you have toconsider what the lack of those
things actually presents, right?
So, for example, like I'll putmyself on blast, it's been a
struggle on the job side, right,and that does present an
inconvenience per se for theother party in my home.

(01:37:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:37:51):
And so it really comes down to the value system,
not being about what peoplemight think about me, but the
dynamic of our relationship.

(01:38:00):
Yeah.
And how unfair or fair I'mbeing to her, Of course, of
course, and so the thing that Iwould do I would do is I would
wanna have the conversation withmy partner about what are you
so scared of when you're nothaving a job?

Speaker 2 (01:38:13):
Yeah, I mean Like genuinely.

(01:38:16):
Let's understand the fear.

Speaker 2 (01:38:17):
Yeah.

(01:38:18):
Let's break it apart, so that we don't have to pretend it's
something that's not.

Speaker 2 (01:38:22):
Yeah, I agree.
I think a lot of its realsurface value as far as, like,
it's just a matter oh my God,you don't have a job.
Freak out, freak out, freak out.
But I understand what you'resaying and I do agree with that
too, that there has to be aclarity on.
Well, first off, it justsharpens the communication
aspect of it, right.
It gives each partner theopportunity to clearly
communicate what they'reconcerned about, and I think

(01:38:43):
that most things that we like inthe situation that we're in,
that we're going to encounter,we'll get through with very easy
yeah, like no, not a lot ofstruggle.
But we're also not living in amansion, we're not living in a
four, five, six, seven, eightbedroom house, we're not driving
four cars, so we're, in terms,living within our means in that
regard.

(01:39:02):
Very modest.

Speaker 2 (01:39:03):
Kind of a modest means.
Yeah, and now that's not whereI want to be forever right.
But I mean, in the season thatwe're in right now, there is a
focus I have that I could bedoing much better at, and that's
fine.
But I do agree with you thatmost people look at this as a
house on fire because they'restanding on the street looking
at the house.
That's really not burning.
They just imagine it to beburning Right Without actually
going in and seeing, or they seesmoke and they're like, oh my

(01:39:25):
God, the house is going to die.

(01:39:27):
And so, but yeah, when you start exposing what the true
fear like okay, let's talk aboutwhat are you scared of here?
Are you scared that I'm notgonna pay the bills?
What's that fear rooted in Like?
You start getting deeper intothese fears and you learn.
You learn very quickly.
These are not even your ownfears.

Speaker 2 (01:39:45):
Yeah.

(01:39:46):
Because you're programmed to think about these things these
ways.
This is look.
Humans only respond in so manydifferent ways, I agree.
And so once you can startpicking apart these things and
you realize stress causes this,stress causes this, then you
start packing the stress on topof each other, All of these
things that we're scared of.
Yeah.
Then we learn that's not evenwhat the fuck I want, Because

(01:40:06):
you're starting to break down.
What am I scared of?
So you keep this bullshit alive?
Yeah, Because you're scared.
Oh, I gotta go do this, I gottago do this, because that's what
everybody, that's what youshould do, Right?
That's the primitive thought,that's the thought of the group.

Speaker 2 (01:40:18):
Yeah, that's the thing is.
I think my value system isreally centered upon pulling the
weight.

(01:40:24):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:40:24):
And that's to me, that's fair in its most bare
bones form.
But I do agree that, because ofthe day of age we live in,
those other elements areconsidered right.
The other variables are thereand, granted, fortunately right
now we haven't had to have thatfull on because we don't have
kids, we don't have the otherstuff that's outside of what we

(01:40:45):
have right now.
So it's real modest.
It's more doable than not, butstill at some point right, the
plan has to come to fruition.

(01:40:55):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:40:56):
And so I just personally my scarcity, part of
that or not my scarcity, thefear I have in that is, somebody
who gets easily overwhelmed isjust completely covered in being
overwhelmed, Right, and thatbecomes her new stress.

(01:41:13):
Well, yeah, so overwhelmed being overwhelmed.
All that is overload.
It's just too much.
100% Right, and so the bestthing to do in anything
overwhelming if you're trying tohelp deal with somebody that's
overwhelmed is to pick asingular focus and stay on that.
How dare you?
Right, because you've got tomake the problem bite-size.

(01:41:34):
The overwhelming part of it isit's a full plate.

Speaker 2 (01:41:38):
Yeah.

(01:41:38):
And that doesn't mean that the full plate isn't there.
But not all things have to beWell.

Speaker 2 (01:41:42):
I want to challenge you on one thing let's say,
because words matter.
Bite-size maybe, if it'sapplicable, but one bite at a
time.

(01:41:50):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:41:51):
It's something larger than bite-size.

(01:41:52):
And it more times.
Semantics.
Well, no, it's not semantics,it's really not One bite at a
time.
That's what I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:41:57):
Because maybe some of us minimize things that
shouldn't be minimized Right ortake it less serious than we
should.
But also think about like thisIf the thing that I'm dealing
with all the sudden becomes notmany-sized and it's actually
something I have to work away at, I might just be like you know
what I'm not even going to dealwith this I'm going to still

(01:42:17):
tell you.

(01:42:18):
It's still.

Speaker 2 (01:42:18):
There you go.

(01:42:20):
Look, all problems are the same size when they amass
together only they become larger.
Maybe All problems individuallyare the same size.
They're just a problem.

Speaker 2 (01:42:28):
OK, let's think about this.

(01:42:30):
Now how you perceive that problem is definitely different.
But they're all the same size,and it's when you have
compounding problems that itseems larger than what it
actually is.
That's the bigger problem iscompounding problems.

Speaker 2 (01:42:40):
yeah, Right.

(01:42:41):
So it's not really that it's a large problem.
It's a lot of small fuckingproblems that are undelt with,
which then becomes a biggerplate.
But then you singularly focus,knock one thing out first and
then move on to the next thing.
That's all you can do, becauseif you try to solve it all at
once, you will never solve itall at once, I agree.

Speaker 2 (01:42:58):
I agree with that.

(01:42:59):
And so it doesn't matter if you're failing.

Speaker 2 (01:43:01):
No, and I'm not suggesting.

(01:43:03):
You still got to keep working on knocking that list out,
because you know what keepsputting you there.

Speaker 2 (01:43:07):
I'm not suggesting that you try to knock out all
problems at once.
I'm suggesting only thatsometimes the burger's bigger
than the other one and you gotto take a little bit more time.
If that makes you feel better.
It does.
It does make me feel better.

(01:43:22):
Why?
So you can feel better aboutnot solving some problems in
others?

Speaker 2 (01:43:26):
No, not at all.
No, it's actually kind ofintuitive to what I'm saying.
No, so if I've got a T-bone broor a poor house.

(01:43:31):
What's the value in them being different sizes?

Speaker 2 (01:43:34):
It's not understanding that they're going
to be different sizes,sometimes Right and not.
Again.
Again, this is from a societalstandpoint.
Just think about this.
Societally OK, it's encouraged.

(01:43:46):
I agree.
No, I'm agreeing with whatyou're saying.
Now, I agree with what you'resaying.
So you're speaking for thecommon man.
That's what I'm speaking for,right, ok?

Speaker 2 (01:43:54):
And in some regards I am the common man Of course,
but what I mean is thegeneralization of society.
Well, sure, and I guess let'scall this layman's terms,
because you're always up in thesky and stuff.
Let me come back down.
Come to me for a second, bro.
So what you see is from a30,000 foot view, is this
miniscule thing Bro down here inmy face?
It's a lot bigger than manysize.

(01:44:14):
You understand what I'm saying.
So the only reason Iacknowledge that I bring you in
light to that is that,realistically, we're looking at
something that, in the grandscheme of things, is a miniature
thing.

(01:44:26):
You're putting more stress on yourself by thinking of it that
way.
Maybe I am OK, maybe that's allI'm going to say.
Maybe I have to make more cutsto get the state more bite size.
I might, you will, I might, andhere's the thing that you will,
because now you're aware of it.
But see, here's the thing Ialso get more.
You reap the seeds yourself.

Speaker 2 (01:44:43):
I also get more repetitions in by cutting more
pieces of meat, Even though it'sthe same size steak.
I don't care.

(01:44:49):
You eventually get better at it.

Speaker 2 (01:44:51):
Smaller bites as we age, bro.
Things become harder to digestand process as we age.
Right.
Can't teach an old dog newtricks.

(01:44:58):
Is that what you're saying?

Speaker 2 (01:44:59):
It's the same trick, though you can teach.

(01:45:01):
Oh, are you literally talking about the physical body?
I'm talking about the physicalbody.
Think about how these patternsrepeat in life.
That's why I'm not saying shit.
I agree with you.

Speaker 2 (01:45:07):
But I'm writing this on my part, on my commonality
standpoint.

(01:45:12):
Well, I'm going to tell you from the way that you view it.
You're not wrong.
There absolutely are thingsthat require more attention
immediately.
There are things that need tobe dealt with promptly as
opposed to.

Speaker 2 (01:45:25):
I'm not even saying that.
Well, I'm not even saying that.

(01:45:29):
OK, so like OKs.
So, like what I'm saying is, isthat Needing to do a minor car
repair versus putting a new roofon your house.

Speaker 2 (01:45:37):
No, not even saying that.

(01:45:39):
Those would be clear different size problems.
I'm not even comparing problemsBecause the square footage.

Speaker 2 (01:45:44):
What I'm comparing is this misconception of what a
problem actually looks like Inour day and age.
When you tell somebody that aproblem they're going through is
the same size as the problemyou're going through, their

(01:46:04):
natural reaction oh no, no, no,no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't
OK.
That's interesting.
It's to fight back and say, no,it's not OK.

(01:46:10):
I'm not saying comparatively, you to me the problems are the
same size.
Well, and then even saying iscomparative to one's own life.
Every problem that they face isgoing to be the same size.
Their view of it may definitelybe different, but every problem
that they face is always goingto be the same size.
Yeah, their view of it is whatmakes it large or small, and
that's important OK.
I'll tell you why it'simportant.

Speaker 2 (01:46:30):
It's not important in the grand scheme, it's not
important in the big thing here.
What's important is is thatsometimes that discernment will
keep them from solving theproblem or not?
It gets them defensive too,right, because oh my god, this
thing's so big on my plate, bro,you can still cut that down in
small pieces and process it oneby one at a time.

(01:46:52):
When somebody says, oh, it's so big on my plate, I'm like,
yeah, tell me about it, how bigof it Like anything is yeah, I
know what you're doing.
Here's the thing is, once theysay these things out loud,
they're like damn, it doesn'teven seem like that big a deal.
As I say it all out, Don't takeall the fire, bro.

Speaker 2 (01:47:05):
Don't take all the fire, damn.
Look, you've got to leavepeople wanting.

(01:47:09):
Yeah, the thing is I'm not trying to sell anybody anything.
I don't want them wanting.

Speaker 2 (01:47:12):
Maybe you're not.

(01:47:13):
I want people to leave fulfilled.

Speaker 2 (01:47:15):
What you want for people is not relevant.
They want for themselves.

(01:47:21):
That's fair, yeah, and I want people to feel fulfilled.
I want them to feel fulfilled.

Speaker 2 (01:47:26):
I think I agree with that too.
I think everybody in essencedoes want the best for people.
Here's what I'm going to say.
I just don't know how to dothat.

(01:47:33):
I believe that everyone can be fulfilled.
Yeah, it's true belief thateveryone can be, no matter how
dark, demented or how far youthink something is was, I don't
care, I don't buy into that, Ihave to live knowing that
everybody has an opportunity,because if I say that they don't

(01:47:54):
, I'm offering judgment and I'mshutting someone else off from
applicable from me.
Correct, and so that's why anyof these things that people view
themselves as separate.
You know, we were talking aboutthis large being somewhere, but
we see ourselves small like megoing to Pike's Peak.
Thing is individually maybe.

(01:48:16):
Maybe we are just at size,small, but we're all the same
size.

Speaker 2 (01:48:21):
Correct.

(01:48:22):
We all take up the same space spiritually.
We all take up like we're allconnected and the thing is,
seeing us separate is why we areweak.
Seeing us all together is whatgives us strength.

Speaker 2 (01:48:36):
OK.
So I don't know where I'm atwith that yet, because we over
we give more value to group thanwe do individual.
But here's what I'll ask you.
In a jigsaw puzzle box you have1,000 pieces.
Typical curiosity is is everypiece the same size?

(01:49:01):
It's not the same shape,obviously.

(01:49:04):
I mean, there may be some variance in actual mass too.

Speaker 2 (01:49:07):
So I do.

(01:49:08):
But with one missing it's not a full puzzle.

Speaker 2 (01:49:10):
Correct Now.
I agree with that.
I agree the idea of what eachpiece brings to one another as a
full thing.
I agree with that, I understand.
But the thing is is Ipersonally can't?
I guess in some cases I can,but in general, in a general

(01:49:31):
sense, the bigger picturedoesn't get me to the end of the
road that I'm on.
What does is how can I get tothe bigger picture?
The best way, the?

(01:49:44):
end of your road leads you to the bigger picture.
Maybe, it does.

Speaker 2 (01:49:48):
If you make it no, no , it does.

(01:49:49):
Always, it always will, because you'll have another road
to take.
And what makes up a big picture?
A bunch of fucking roads.
Are you talking about a map?
It's a big fucking picture,isn't it what the thing is, if
you're out and you're looking atan individual thing and you're
on a path, yeah, the path endsand you're gonna take a

(01:50:12):
different path.
Yeah.
Every decision you makedetermines that, right.
And so if you're looking andyou know how to navigate a map,
a larger picture, yeah, andmakes those little fucking small
things right in front of youthe same fucking size, yeah, so
that every decision you make yourealize it's not the beginning
or the end, it's a continuationRight, okay, okay, cool, and

(01:50:34):
there's also value in thescaling of that.

Speaker 2 (01:50:39):
The scaling and this is kind of what I was talking
about with the pieces of theproblem right, it's the scaling.
There are so many peoplenowadays that take so literally.
They really legitimately thinkthat if they look at a map, they
can make four steps in beingfucking Germany.
Right, and maybe not that crazyextreme.

(01:51:00):
I understand what you're saying now, but the scaling
matters right, and the scalingmatters because that's your
perception.

Speaker 2 (01:51:05):
You're setting an expectation right, you're
convincing yourself that oh hellyeah, I can do that.
And that applies to anything,right?
Oh, I can do that shit, Bro.
One of the leading.

(01:51:13):
That gives you a shot, though.
That gives you a fucking chance, bro.
I agree, I agree.

Speaker 2 (01:51:18):
Until you put boots on the ground and realize that
Well, putting boots on theground might eliminate your
chance.

(01:51:23):
Maybe, the thing is, you have a chance.
In that belief there is achance, I agree.
I agree.
Now, but here's the bigdifference, bro.

Speaker 2 (01:51:31):
Think about that.
That is a potential issue whenI do agree with the
tongue-in-cheek of it.
I do agree with it, but theproblem is that once people put
to action, that's when they findthe most discouragement right.
Well, maybe it's becausethey're not used to putting
action.
I agree with that.
Or it's something new, orthat'll help them.

(01:51:50):
Yeah like action.

Speaker 2 (01:51:51):
It's a courage.
It's definitely a courage thingbecause of the lack of
confidence At least that's whatthey tell themselves there's no
way I can fucking do that.
Like you said, in the past fewweeks there's been a couple
things highlighting that man,it's just that simple, it's just
that easy.
May fucking.
First, bro, my first cook wasthat it was such a nightmare to

(01:52:13):
prepare for.
It was such a nightmare and Iknew there was no fucking way I
was going to be able to do it.
But when I did it, it was wayeasier than I thought it was
going to be, and that's thething I think is a very toxic
thought process.
This specific thing highlightswhy I have such a hard time

(01:52:35):
focusing on the out here and thegreat beyond Because I get so
far removed from the action.
part of it.

(01:52:44):
Yeah, so yeah, I guess that's a fair assessment.
Right, because the applicationis different.
100% Right.
And so the way I'm coming aboutthese things is I've wandered a
map with no view of a map.
I've spent my whole lifewandering a map with no view of

(01:53:05):
the map, learning how to startfires making it metaphorical, if
you will Sure, learning how todo all these things and all of a
sudden I learned that there's afucking map.

Speaker 2 (01:53:17):
There's a fucking cheat code.
What?

(01:53:19):
They're like holy shit, there's a way to do these things
, there's a way to get where I'mtrying to go, and it's.
The thing is, my perception ofwhere I was trying to go was
what was skewed.
It's like because I was usinglike okay, well, during the
daytime you use the sun to guideyou, but all the while, during
the night, you start to guideyou right, but where's the
consistency in that?

(01:53:39):
Well, when you're exploring.

Speaker 2 (01:53:42):
It's different to have consistency when you're
exploring.
Well, the thing is, it's likeit's the reliability.

(01:53:50):
It's tough to have faith in right Because you keep ending up
it looks like the same spot butlike no it's different, but no,
it's the same, but no, it'sdifferent.
And then you again, then youunderstand that there's a map.
You're like shit, I've beencircling around the same damn
thing.
I just keep like, oh look, Ijust keep.
Every time the sun's going downI'm turning left, and every
time the moon's coming up andturning right like it's just

(01:54:11):
like this whole circle, thiswhole circle that you keep
walking.
It's still a circle, right.

Speaker 2 (01:54:14):
Yeah, for sure.

(01:54:15):
Then you realize that there's a map.

Speaker 2 (01:54:17):
Yeah.

(01:54:17):
And you realize that you've been walking in a circle, your
whole fucking life in a circle,circle circle, you listen to
these people, you do all thesethings and all this and that
yeah.
But none of that's actuallywhat I'm trying to do.
Yeah, because you try it andit's like no, yeah, but that's
not what I'm trying to fuckingdo.
I appreciate the advice and thehelp but that's not what the
fuck I'm trying to do.
Yeah, the problem is, you don'tknow what the fuck you're

(01:54:38):
trying to do.
Yeah, it's one of those things,man, but then again, then my
faith, like my relationship withGod.

Speaker 2 (01:54:42):
Yeah, let's me know.

(01:54:45):
oh, I've already been doing it .
Yeah, oh, these circles, thiswasn't so much for me, as it was
for all of us.
Sure, the people that Iinteracted with were like yeah,
I'm not trying to do this.
The people that I interactedwith were needed just as much as
the people.

Speaker 2 (01:55:00):
Well, so call it for what it is.
The circles is essentially youtrying to run away or escape to
the next point and he's like no,I need you to come back.
Yeah, you didn't get it.

(01:55:09):
Correct, you didn't get it, bro, correct?
I believe that?
Oh, I certainly.
And so think about.
So this is what I want to blowyour mind with right now.
So you're telling me that Izoom out?
Right, you get the same effectby zooming in, because guess
what, as you zoom in, you're faraway from another picture and
you keep zooming in, thatpicture gets closer and closer.

(01:55:29):
This is a repetitious thing.
Every single problem that wehave is repeated.
Every cycle that we go throughis the same.
Once we recognize that we arein that cycle.
And the thing is, if you lookat the universe, there's a cycle
of the way the universe works.
If you look at us as humans,even within our bodies.
There's a cycle in the waythese things work.

Speaker 2 (01:55:50):
You're seeing the machine parts.

(01:55:51):
It's just a continuation, it's a continuous thing.
You can fight against it or youcan just surrender to it.
The hardest part for me wasletting go control, because I
thought I knew best from walkingin the circles, because I had
survived.

Speaker 2 (01:56:07):
I made steps, I had survived in those circles.

(01:56:10):
I trusted that I knew what the fuck I was doing, because I
survived.
But the goal was never tofucking survive.
That was never the goal.
That's suffering.
You survive suffering.
That's it.
What was the goal To befulfilled?
To have a fulfilled life To beseparate from the individual

(01:56:34):
happenings of things to be apart of the whole thing.
That mindset changed, that viewchanged.
It's allowed me to haveconversations with people that
I've never even thought abouthaving.
That's surpassed anything thatI could have imagined in regards
to what I would be able toexperience in the life that I
have.
Our imagination is only basedupon the things we've heard and

(01:56:57):
seen and felt, but then when youexperience real shit, when you
really experience things,nothing compares.
I agree.
There's nothing.
Anybody can say there's nothing.
A picture they can do there'snothing none of that can do.
I'll say a song might be able to.
That's probably the only thing.

Speaker 2 (01:57:12):
Only because it's a different perspective of the
same thing, I think.

(01:57:16):
It's an effecting because of the sound.

Speaker 2 (01:57:18):
There's a lot to do with the resonant sound.
Of course it's marketingcapitalism, I mean maybe.
No, it is.
Don't you tell me what it is?

(01:57:27):
Look, man, we've talked for two hours.
I probably have more to say,but I'm not going to go too much
deeper.
I guess I'll say this I thinkthat from where I started in my
life, the shit that I wentthrough, all the circles that I
walked through to get to thepoint where I'm at now, to where

(01:57:50):
I can sit on them, I can speakconfidently about the shit that
I've went through, because Iused to not be able to talk
about the shit that I fuckingwent through.
I know All right, and so there'ssomething in understanding that
there is a path, there's a map,there is a place to go and that
the circles were to serve inlife, beyond life, before life.

(01:58:14):
It's a cycle.
There's a cycle all the waythrough, and you are
repetitiously living a cycleuntil you learn it in your
physical life and I wouldbelieve honestly in your
spiritual life as well, rightKarmaically, if there is some
sort of regenerative orreincarnation or anything like
that figure.
To view it, however you want to.

Speaker 2 (01:58:35):
Yeah.

(01:58:36):
But the thing is, this experience we're having in our
physical body it's not anydifferent than the experience
that our physical body is havinginside of it and I believe that
wholeheartedly which means thatwe are part of the larger body
of the universe.
We're like white blood cells,bro.
No cap, that's stupid.

(01:58:57):
Anyways, man, do you gotanything that you want to say?
You want to close out on?

Speaker 2 (01:59:06):
I mean, I guess really the focal point for me is
the things that we discuss areeither, I mean, they contribute
heavily or lightly, but theystill contribute no less to
where we are mentally, where weare in our lives, and the
reality is like rest assuredthat this we live within a great

(01:59:30):
opportunity, but I believe thatit really sucks for a lot of
people right now, and I thinkthe objective is to change the
frame of mind, to change theoutlook, the perspective on
where you actually are right now, and that applies to me too.
Like we change that perspective, I will tell you that some

(01:59:52):
critical things that are helpfulis until you can really, I
think, contribute to a largerpicture, at least in your
capability or scope or yourpurview.
Work on the things that you cancontrol.
First and foremost, you canonly control what you can.
So, give more than take, lovemore than expecting to be loved,

(02:00:17):
because it comes back to you,it does regardless.
You feel good when you lovesomeone else.

(02:00:23):
You feel the best, that should feel amazing bro.

Speaker 2 (02:00:25):
It does, especially if you're helpful in any way
that they need.
And so if you're able andyou're capable and willing, you
should be willing.
Do it, just do that.
That's square one stuff.
The other thing is tap into whoyou are.
Like right, you're not who youare.
You may not be the greatestversion of yourself right now.
Just accept that, becausewithout accepting you can't
progress, you can't go forward.

(02:00:46):
Understand that other peoplearound you are dealing with the
same things you are.
It just looks a littledifferently sometimes.
They're on different parts ofthe map, if you will, but
they're still walking andthey're still struggling.
And as long as we canunderstand that, I think the
former concepts of what I justmentioned about loving other
people more than expecting to beloved I think that has become

(02:01:07):
easier more digestible.

(02:01:09):
You have to learn who you truly are.

Speaker 2 (02:01:10):
I agree, and then in that you can show not even try,
but you will exude this presenceand people will see that it's
possible.
Maybe that's all you need, andwe've talked about this before
too, man, it's like sometimesthe way we operate with people
is like the only version of whatpeople call God or Jesus or
whatever.
We may be the first and lastversion of what they see, and so

(02:01:33):
it's important to show up withlove and to show up with intent.
It looks and that'scounterintuitive of what I've
really been taught but don'tlook so much at the bigger
picture right now.
If that's not where you are,don't be there.

(02:01:45):
There's no point looking at the bigger picture.
Look other than navigationthere's no point looking at the
bigger picture Other than thatbe there.
It's a checkpoint, Fucking bethere.
Just fucking be there.
If you feel lost, look at thebig picture.
Other than that, be there.

Speaker 2 (02:01:57):
Yeah, I agree.

(02:01:58):
Right, because the only way a map is valuable, a larger
picture is valuable, is if youneed guidance, yeah, checkpoint.

Speaker 2 (02:02:06):
If you need to go north, you'll want to find out.
You go north and then startgoing north.

(02:02:09):
Yeah, put the map the fuck away, Right so to add one thing
on top of what you said, andthis is just my little sauce, my
little nacho cheese is the bestversion of you is already in
you.
It already exists.
You don't have to go seekingoutside.
It's already in there, you'regonna tap into it.
You really just have to knockall the dust, the bullshit away

(02:02:30):
and uncover that person, Becausethat person is in there.
I promise you and every personthat I've helped through shit,
that person's always been thereand that's who I've tried to
talk to.
Problem is, I'm learning thatyou have to talk to who's there.
Right then, Absolutely.
To uncover who's there.

Speaker 2 (02:02:45):
Absolutely.

(02:02:46):
Thing is all of you, all of you that listen to this, there's
somebody in there that's abetter version of you that even
you can't imagine.
That it is in there Beyond yourwildest dreams of anything you
could ever imagine.
It already lives in you.
It's already there and you'recovering it up.
We just need to uncover it.
Yeah.
You know conversations beingreal, vulnerable and honest with

(02:03:06):
people that care about you.
That's how you figure it out bycaring about them when they
come to you with their things aswell, because if they can come
to you with their things, youcan come to them with your
things.
Yeah, that's why you need agroup, that's why you need a
community, that's why you needpeople around you that give a
fuck about you.
That's why we seek these groups, these clubs, because you don't
have to even consider yourselfbad because you are part of

(02:03:29):
something like that or have beenpart of something like that.
The reason why is because it'snot your fault.
You're seeking something thatyou feel like you're lacking,
but I'm here to tell you it'sthere, it's already there and
you can give that to otherpeople so that they don't have
to seek those things that youthink are heinous or problematic
.
You give them somethingworthwhile and they will stay,
yep.

Speaker 2 (02:03:49):
Agreed.

(02:03:49):
That's it, guys.
I love you guys, I really do.
Also, don't forget to check outmy Facebook show.
I do like live streams, likeevery day almost.
I want to speak the goodness inthe people and also sometimes
the bullshit.
But I just want to say I doappreciate you guys for sticking
around.
Even if this is the first onethat you've heard, I do want to

(02:04:11):
say that I appreciate you givingme a chance to speak with you
and I appreciate the fact thatyou let me hold this spot in
your life.
I really do.
And then also I want to give ashout out to Sons of a Center,
the band Till I Disappear.
If you have not checked out thatsong, they're fucking on
Spotify.
You've got to check out thatsong.
It's a great fucking countrysong from a band that's not very

(02:04:33):
well known, that speaks verydeeply and I don't know much
about the band or anything likethat, but it's a fantastic song.
And then also to shout out toJames if he plugs it himself,
cool, do it again anyways, butPercy's BBQcom To get your rubs.
I'm going to tell you Like I'mgoing to say I got to get this
motherfucker some recipes thatI've done with this stuff.

(02:04:57):
I'm telling you the fuckingpasture blend.
If you want to make the perfectchicken fried steak, you put
you some fucking Percy's pastureblend and some powder and some
fucking white flour and youbatter that shit up with it.
I'm telling you, you don't needanything else.
You do your egg wash and theflour, put it in the egg wash

(02:05:19):
too.
It's got the perfect amount ofspice, the perfect amount of
salt.
It's fucking spectacular.
And then also I was making somemushroom dippers with it.
But anyways, I only speakhighly of this stuff because he
knows how I feel about all ofthis stuff.
The pasture blend is my absolutefavorite.
Now, a lot of people prefer theother one.
A lot of people not saying more, but a lot of people prefer the

(02:05:41):
other one, and that's thefarmhouse blend Farmhouse and
barnyard blend.
And barnyard blend.
Okay, the farmhouse is allpurpose, barnyard is the poultry
chicken.
Yep, I want to tell you it hasa delicious flavor, but I don't
really like sweet things and ithas a little bit of sweetness on
the backside of it and that'sthe only reason I like it.
But it is fucking spectacularfrom other people's reviews.

(02:06:01):
I'm not going to give you nobullshit review.
I'm just going to drown myselfin whiskey and I'm on the pain,
shout out again to Sons of theCenter.
Yeah, all right, guys.
So I love you guys.
Don't forget to check outPercy's Barbecuecom.
Follow him on Instagram atPercy's Barbecue.
Oh, still the same Facebooksame thing, yeah, all right cool
.
Follow him in all those places.

(02:06:22):
Guys, look the shit's fantastic.
Okay, that's all I got to tellyou.
And if you get a chance, if youget a chance to have this, full
, cook you some fucking barbecue, don't miss it, because it's
good.
I'm still better, but All right, guys, I love you.
Guys, have a fantastic rest ofwhatever it is that you're
having later.