November 11, 2024 • 17 mins
Ever wondered what happens when horror meets the absurd? We're about to take you through a wild ride as we humorously dissect the bizarre 1988 horror flick, "Phantasm II," on the Dumb, Cool, Weird Podcast. Imagine a world where a quadruple-barrel shotgun and mysterious orbs unlock interdimensional gates, while a quirky midget army follows an enigmatic Tall Man. Our conversation covers everything from a bizarre casting change for Mike to the oddball weaponry and the chaotic fun of a house explosion. We even throw in some comparisons to horror classics like "Nightmare on Elm Street," "Hellraiser," and "Evil Dead," so grab your popcorn and brace yourself for some spooky laughs.
What makes a movie so baffling yet entertaining? That's the enigma of "Phantasm II," and we're here to explore it all. From a house of horrors and a mission to save Liz, to bewildering plot points that defy physics—like a car that leaks gas before catching fire—this movie keeps you guessing. We also get into the Tall Man's anti-climactic defeat and ponder his potential resurrection with a mix of skepticism and humor. Plus, the fun doesn't stop there, as we delve into the weirdness of the story's self-aware narrative and the road trip shenanigans that resemble a car commercial.
Looking for a unique way to navigate life's chaos? We think "Phantasm II" might just be the unexpected escape you need. Whether you're dealing with election stress or seeking a quirky holiday treat, this film is the perfect remedy. We wrap up with a hearty recommendation to watch the first installment of "Phantasm" to truly appreciate the madness. So, tune in, share the laughs with your friends, and stick with us for more entertaining movie breakdowns on the Dumb, Cool, Weird Podcast, where we take you through the dumb, cool, and weird in under 20 minutes.
Support the show:
🎤 Go to listen to the audio podcast on your favorite platform: https://dumbcoolweirdpodcast.buzzsprout.com/share
🌐 To see more stuff, buy some merch, or support us go to https://www.retroradfilms.com/dumbcoolweirdpodcast
😀 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/retroradfilms/
📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/retroradfilms/
🐦 Twitter: https://twitter.com/retroradfilms
🌴 Links: https://linktr.ee/retroradfilms
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
dumb cool weird podcast.
Welcome to the dumb cool, weirdpodcast, and uh well get it
again phantasm 2 it startedright where it left off in the
first film yep, and it turns outthat every single sequel going
forward is going to do the samething.
Yeah, so, um, yeah, buckle up.
(00:23):
It's going to be a wild rideover the next couple weeks.
But this one definitely tookthe cake and it burnt the cake,
and then it regurgitated thecake and then it shit out the
cake and then um one of thoselittle droney ball things,
finger fuck the cake, I guessyep, so well.
Um, you know, when you watchthis movie, you're gonna notice
that it's not the same mike.
(00:44):
It's a different actor.
They get a lot of Mike.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
The original Mike, I think, comes back in like the
third one.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Third one, fourth one and fifth one.
I guess he probably had a filmcareer after the first one and
then it died down by the timethe third one rolled around.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
I was going to say that kid looked pretty familiar
from like other 70s and 80sfilms and then he was like you
know, I guess I can't docommercials anymore.
Phantasm 2.
Yeah, fuck it.
Yeah, reggie was like in onecommercial and the rest of his
career is stuck in Phantasm.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Yeah, so apparently what happened was the jump scare
at the end apparently reallyhappened.
Michael was really grabbed andthe tall man was trying to get
him out of there.
Happened was the jump scare atthe end apparently really
happened.
Uh, mike was really grabbed, um, and the tall man was trying to
get him out of there with hismidgets with his midgets, yeah
army of midgets and then, um,apparently the?
uh, the house explodes aftermike uh and reggie get out of
(01:39):
there, and then it turns outthat didn't really happen.
Apparently, seven years passedby and Mike's been in an insane
asylum.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yeah, and then we get another angle of the same house
blowing up yeah, because wemade that joke.
You're like, do you think theyblew up two houses?
And I'm like, yeah, no, I thinkthey actually just took a
different angle on this one.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Probably what they were doing is they shot one side
of the house in the dream wherethey blew it up, and then they
shot one side of the house inthe dream where they blew it up,
and then they shot the otherside of the house at the same
time while they're blowing it up, just so they could have both.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Yeah, apparently, reggie also.
Uh, in the when the houseactually blew up, lost his wife
and kids was it his wife andkids?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
yeah, it was his wife and kids.
That's weird, because theydidn't even establish that yeah
he all.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
He was like he's like , yeah, you know I've got the
wife and you know my kid, thegirls are waiting to meet their
uncle mike.
And then it was like he haslike this weird like thought
process.
Like mike, the house is gonnablow up.
We gotta get them out of there.
It just explodes right then.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
and there, well, mike says that to reggie yeah, that
was it, um, but but prior tothat they were talking about
Thanksgiving dinner, apparently.
Yeah, and so Thanksgiving.
I mean, I don't know if it wasThanksgiving dinner, but he sure
sounded like it wasThanksgiving.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
I don't know anybody eating a turkey on any other day
except Thanksgiving.
That's a whole ass turkey.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Yeah, that's, that's.
That's a good point, that's areally really good point.
You know, I don't know a turkeyconnoisseur and I don't know a
turkey connoisseur, and whathappens is they basically go on
this whole vendetta Like they'regoing to track down the tall
man.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Yeah, and that's where it gets really fucking
awkward.
It starts looking like a carcommercial.
Yep For like a few hours,Mm-hmm.
The movie also can't decidewhether it wants to be Nightmare
on Elm Street um Hellraiser anduh, evil Dead, oh and the Thing
(03:30):
.
And Evil Dead, yeah, and EvilDead.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
It's definitely all over the place.
You know, they basically go onthis cross-country trip trying
to find out where the Tall manis.
They go to different towns thathave apparently been sucked dry
by the Tall man.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Yeah, the Tall man apparently has to, has to uh,
kill as many people as possible.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Yeah, he's got to make his midget army as much as
he can.
And, you know, the interestingthing is is, like, throughout
this whole time, we're alsohearing about this other
character.
Um, liz, liz, yeah, liz, youknow, and apparently we saw a
vision of liz, and we can't tellif that was a dream or not, but
but apparently she had fucking,you know, the, you know, like a
(04:08):
, like a Freddy Krueger tumor onher back.
You know.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Yeah.
And then uh, it comes out andit's like nice try, boy yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Boy is like Angus scrims like favorite word to say
Also that's my favorite,favorite actual name for an
actor.
Angus Scrimm.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yep.
He doesn't have very many linesor appearances in this movie.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Yeah, he's just kind of there.
You know his henchmen get morescenes than he does.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
And he has henchmen.
I just want you to know that.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Yeah, like normal human henchmen, by the way.
Yeah, that was the confusingpart.
I guess he manipulates them andbrainwashes them.
Who fucking knows manipulatesthem and brainwashes them?
Who fucking knows it?
Speaker 2 (04:45):
wasn't very clear.
Lcs zombies too.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Yeah, zombies, he has a priest that's under his
control.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Who then betrays him?
Yep.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
He turns his back on them and basically you know we
go through this whole moviewhere they pick up a hitchhiker.
I think her name was.
What was the girl's name?
Speaker 2 (05:03):
It doesn't matter.
Oh, it was Alchemy.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Alchemy yeah, they pick up.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
That's the most and it's funny they're going to
Oregon.
That's the most Oregon-ass nameI've ever heard.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I'm a white girl named Alchemy.
Oh yeah, I expected that, andbasically they end up going to
the.
They finally get to their finaldestination, which is Alchemy's
hometown, and it turned into ashithole.
Turned into a shithole.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Like regular Oregon.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yep, and it's really funny because this movie is very
self-aware, right?
Oh yeah, like the whole fuckingtime they're just making
one-liners here and there, andthen they set up this whole
thing where Liz and hergrandmother and her they just
buried the grandfather and it'sreally hilarious because Also
they never explain what happenedto her sister.
What?
(05:48):
Because they never explainedwhat happened to her sister.
What was her name?
Jizz, I can't remember whateverthe fuck.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
She just disappeared.
Oh yeah, she just disappeared,and that's what I'm saying is
like they never showed her as amidget or anything, nothing yeah
, what happens is grandma turnsinto a midget, and you know it
hits her in the head and shejust jokingly goes.
Oh sorry, grandma yeah, likethat was hilarious, though that
when she hit her with the vase.
That shit was just too funny.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Well, it's sad because I know Grandma was like
really Really disappointed aboutGrandpa.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
And I mean she was traumatized by watching Father
McGregor just stab right throughher.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Right through Grandpa .
Yeah, it was pretty crazy, butyou know, we kind of get towards
.
Like you know the part of themovie where you know they're in
the town, they're set up in thishouse.
They have like a grenade set up, a hand grenade and a half-cut
Budweiser can like it's Vietnam.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Yep and then they have a shotgun set up which, by
the way, when that grenade goesoff, there should have been so
much more debris and shrapneleverywhere.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Yep and Reggie's getting laid and he's basically.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
The funniest way possible.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
And she's like licking his forehead, kissing
and licking the top of his headSaying oh, I love your head.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Yeah, and then she rides him while choking him.
Yep, that was like.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
I know you like that.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Yeah, that was pretty good, know you like, I know you
like that.
Yeah, that was, that was pretty, that was pretty good.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
That's my favorite position and um, yeah, basically
it ends up happening though uh,it's, it's a pretty simple
movie goes off and she just acts, very confused though she's
like reggie.
They come on back and whilethey're downstairs inspecting,
the tall man steals liz away togo back to his.
You know fucking house ofhorrors window, yeah, waiting at
(07:31):
the window, and um, yeah, soyou know, we have a quadruple
barrel shotgun, we have aflamethrower and all this other
interesting stuff.
A drill bit.
We also have a tiny littlechainsaw.
They show up to the tall man'shouse to save Liz and we
basically get the main part ofthe movie where everything goes
(07:51):
crazy and they end up fightingthe henchmen, yeah the henchmen,
yeah henchmen, and then minions, and we finally get to see that
retarded quadruple barrelshotgun finally be used in this
whole movie.
Yep, and then they used it onetime, and that was it.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Yeah that was very underwhelming, but not as funny
as the scene we skipped over inthe house before Liz got
kidnapped, when her and Mike aresleeping next to each other and
they're looking at each otherand their lips aren't moving as
they're communicating andthey're like we're dreaming.
Mike, oh wow, that's fuckinghorrible.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
The acting was terrible.
Yeah, and let's talk about thefact.
In the last movie, every time acar would hit something, it
would explode.
In this scene, the car flipsover, doesn't explode, and then
it actually uses real-lifephysics, with the gas fucking
leaking out and catching on fire.
Yeah, and let's remember thatthe only thing that really blows
up in this movie is the housesyep, yep, the houses blow up,
(08:50):
the cars not so much, andbasically we, we, we, you know,
we find out, by the way, becauseso we have a big showdown where
they're all fighting thesedifferent guys.
One guy gets cooked in an oven,another guy gets fucking like
decapitated or gets destroyedfrom the inside by one of the
fucking balls.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
It turns out, the balls are also keys.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
So the balls apparently are just like pocket
knives.
They have like 20 differentfunctions.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Yeah, it lobotomizes people, it shoots three prongs
in them, it cuts off their ears,it has laser beams, it has a
scanner.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
It can scan everything it can.
It's a key, apparently.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
It can grind its way into your body and turn your
insides into fucking liquid pulpshit you know, yeah, it's like,
but but you know, like, afterexplaining all that thing, all
that shit and then finding outit's also a key yeah you know,
nickel nickel was really puzzledby that yeah, yeah, it murders
everything.
Oh, and, by the way, it's a keyyep, it's a key.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
And when they get the key they open up the
interdimensional like gate towhere they send the fucking
barrels of midgets to this otherdimension where you have to be
shrunk down for whatever fuckingreason by the way the midgets
are when they get out of thebarrel.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
They're like slimy goo babies.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Slimy goo babies and literally poor Reggie's stuck in
this other dimension, and oneof them touches him, and he's
just like Mike get me out ofhere.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Just get me out of here.
Help Mike, and he's like.
I don't want to get touched bythis thing.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Yeah, and they end up having their final battle with
the tall man, and it's prettyanti-climatic because earlier
reggie filled one of the littlevats up that they apparently
pump into these fucking bodies.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Bombing fluid was filled with hydrochloric acid.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
I'm guessing that fluid.
What it does is it goes intothe regular size body and it
like digests the body and makesit small into a midget.
That's the only thing I cankind of figure.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Well, I mean, I don't really know what embalming
fluid does other than preservethe insides of the body.
But you know, that's the thing.
If you're embalmed, why are youembalming them if you're going
to?
Speaker 1 (10:56):
put stuff on them.
I don't think it's embalmingfluid, I think it's some kind of
solution that like shrinks thebody or weird.
It doesn't make any sense, butI'm just, it's a funeral home
and then it's not.
Yeah, I mean we're trying toinject logic here.
You know where there's no logic, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Another thing we were able, every time you like want
to predict something like as ajoke.
It's like when I was talkingabout oh yeah, you know,
reggie's probably picking upthis chick dick wet since his
family died, and then at the endof the movie you're like, oh,
he's just gonna pop up in thefront seat.
Yeah, and he did that samething.
It's like you could predictthis shit.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Just trying to be funny yeah, it's just, it's it's
self-aware at this point, Imean literally they get into a
final battle with him.
He gets hit by the fucking, youknow, by the, the metal ball,
and it does the same thing thatit does everybody else and the
fucking tall man just rips itoff his fucking forehead and
crushes it like a beer can, likeyou said.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Yeah, and then he has a tentacle come out of his
skull.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Yep, and that was never explained, because before
we could even get an explanationfor that, all of a sudden they
inject him with the acid-infusedbalming fluid.
That fucking turns him intoliquid shit and he dissolves and
falls on the floor.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
So here's the thing right, he dies, but then he
comes back.
Does he just feel like pain,like it sucks, every time he
dies?
But he can come back.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Yeah, I mean, that happens sometimes, you know.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
It sounds annoying.
You never know man.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
I mean, you know, and then when they light up the
place, you know they catcheverything on fire.
And you know, by the way, theydidn't catch him on fire, they
just caught the place on fire.
They didn't even bothercatching the tall man on fire
when they were leaving, no, theyjust went with it.
Yeah, and that's when they meetup with alchemy again, and you
know, reggie thinks yeah andreggie thinks he's gonna get
lucky.
And before it happened, like Isaid, like nick said, I fucking
I called it.
I was like that's the tall mandude it's obviously the tall man
(12:42):
he's.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
He's brushing her hair and then a large chunk of
her skin just falls off.
Yep, and then, um, you knowreggie's's hanging out on the
outside of the car asking forhelp.
You think he's dead.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Falls on the ground, you think he's totally fucking
dead.
And then you cut Just taking anap, just taking a nap, and then
the two, liz and Mike, are inthe back.
Oh, it's just a dream, it'sjust a dream.
And then we get the bestfucking line in the entire movie
.
He just literally the tall man,opens up the fucking the front
window thing and goes oh no,it's not.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
It's not a dream, it's not a dream.
And then, and then the moviestops.
And then we know that the thirdmovie is going to start at that
position, right there, yeah, wealready expect it.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
We expect it to be, we expect, we expect it to be,
we expect you know.
I'll be honest with you.
I expect this movie to be evencrazier.
More Cenobites, probably, yeah,something like that.
But that was Phantasm 2.
Let's talk about the dumb cooland the weird.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Let's start with the dumb.
You know what?
Let's limit it to like one dumbthing, because this whole
movie's dumb.
Yes, the fucking orbs.
Okay, the orbs being thisall-encompassing Swiss Army
knife murder machine that's akey and then a key Like that is
(13:59):
the most annoying, dumb thingever.
It's like yeah, so these thingswill track you down, lobotomize
you, turn your insides intogobbledygook or shoot laser
beams after using the infraredtracking system.
Oh and it's a key.
It opens up, it works for mycar, it works for these doors.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
You know fun things well, um, you know, to kind of
add, we talked about earlier.
You know, we talked about thebeginning of the movie.
You know the dumb thing thatI'm.
The one dumb thing I noticed isall these fucking small towns
have no fucking police force.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yeah, Nobody's like you know, everybody's dying at a
very strange rate here.
There's a lot of crimehappening with this one, no
nothing.
No, nothing.
Grave robbery would have beenthe top thing that this small
town police force would havebeen all over trying to figure
out.
Yeah, no, grave robbery wouldhave been like the top thing
that this small-town policeforce would have been like, all
over trying to figure out.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Yeah, exactly, and let's be honest, the cool thing
about this movie is when theyblew up the fucking house.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Yeah, that was pretty cool.
That's where all the budgetwent, besides the room with the
tuning fork portal.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Yep room with the tuning fork portal, the house
and the car exploding.
That's obviously and I guessyou could say the visual effects
for the tall man fuckingmelting.
Yeah.
So but yes, I think theexplosion of the house was the
coolest part of that wholefucking movie.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
And I guess we gotta go to the weird.
Yeah, you can go first, man,because I know you got something
to say the fact that this moviecan't figure out what horror
genre it wants to belong to.
Are the fact that this moviecan't figure out what horror
genre it wants to belong to?
Are we Cenobites?
Are we Deadites?
Are we Jawas?
Am I the Crypt Keeper?
No, what the fuck are you?
(15:43):
This isn't the thing.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Yep, and is this a science fiction movie?
Is this a horror movie?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
I mean, Is it a comedy?
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah, Is it a?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
car commercial.
Is this a horror movie?
I mean, is it a comedy?
Is it a car commercial?
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Yeah, literally a car commercial.
It literally looked like a carcommercial that one time in the
movie.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Most of the angles when they're driving.
It looks like it's trying topromote that car Like let's go
places.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Yeah, let's go places .
You gotta go murder the fuckingtall man next week.
You're going places.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Cross country to murder a tall, mysterious man.
Get yourself a Mustang.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
A Mustang.
Yeah, I think the weirdest partabout this entire movie is the
fact that Reggie tried topretend at the beginning of the
fucking movie that none of thatshit really happened and it was
all in Mike's mind.
That is a bunch of bullshit,dude.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
What I thought was funny is like you told everybody
that a bunch of midgets thatyou blew up my house full of
midgets that attacked you.
Come and find out, that'sReggie's house.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yeah, it's Reggie's house.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
That's Jody's house.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
That's weird.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Yeah, you know, I want to know the story about,
like when the older brother fromthe first movie did.
He just get through part of themovie and he was like I don't
ever want to come back for theseagain.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Yeah, so then they had to come up with a different
plot, I guess.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Because like everything seemed fine.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
I mean, yeah, and this is Phantasm 2.
I mean, if you wanna watch Amovie that is fucking Bat shit
crazy Off the wall, watch thismovie, but you need to watch
Phantasm 1 first.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
You know, with all the troubling Things in the
world, watch Phantasm To makesense of your life.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Yeah, You're really upset About the election.
Just watch Phantasm.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
You know you shit your pants, watch Phantasm.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Phantasm.
It's recommended for theholidays.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
And any delusions of grandeur.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
You want to sign us out, Nick?
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Stay sexy Atlanta.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Thanks for watching the Dumb, Cool, Weird Podcast,
where we cover some of yourfavorite movies in 20 minutes or
less for your convenience.
We go over what is dumb, cooland weird about movies and check
out our Wayback Wednesdays.
We do sometimes for other stuff, and please share us with your
friends.
dumb cool weird podcast.
Welcome to the dumb cool, weirdpodcast, and uh well get it
again phantasm 2 it startedright where it left off in the
first film yep, and it turns outthat every single sequel going
forward is going to do the samething.
Yeah, so, um, yeah, buckle up.
(00:23):
It's going to be a wild rideover the next couple weeks.
But this one definitely tookthe cake and it burnt the cake,
and then it regurgitated thecake and then it shit out the
cake and then um one of thoselittle droney ball things,
finger fuck the cake, I guessyep, so well.
Um, you know, when you watchthis movie, you're gonna notice
that it's not the same mike.
(00:44):
It's a different actor.
They get a lot of Mike.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
The original Mike, I think, comes back in like the
third one.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Third one, fourth one and fifth one.
I guess he probably had a filmcareer after the first one and
then it died down by the timethe third one rolled around.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
I was going to say that kid looked pretty familiar
from like other 70s and 80sfilms and then he was like you
know, I guess I can't docommercials anymore.
Phantasm 2.
Yeah, fuck it.
Yeah, reggie was like in onecommercial and the rest of his
career is stuck in Phantasm.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Yeah, so apparently what happened was the jump scare
at the end apparently reallyhappened.
Michael was really grabbed andthe tall man was trying to get
him out of there.
Happened was the jump scare atthe end apparently really
happened.
Uh, mike was really grabbed, um, and the tall man was trying to
get him out of there with hismidgets with his midgets, yeah
army of midgets and then, um,apparently the?
uh, the house explodes aftermike uh and reggie get out of
(01:39):
there, and then it turns outthat didn't really happen.
Apparently, seven years passedby and Mike's been in an insane
asylum.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yeah, and then we get another angle of the same house
blowing up yeah, because wemade that joke.
You're like, do you think theyblew up two houses?
And I'm like, yeah, no, I thinkthey actually just took a
different angle on this one.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Probably what they were doing is they shot one side
of the house in the dream wherethey blew it up, and then they
shot one side of the house inthe dream where they blew it up,
and then they shot the otherside of the house at the same
time while they're blowing it up, just so they could have both.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Yeah, apparently, reggie also.
Uh, in the when the houseactually blew up, lost his wife
and kids was it his wife andkids?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
yeah, it was his wife and kids.
That's weird, because theydidn't even establish that yeah
he all.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
He was like he's like , yeah, you know I've got the
wife and you know my kid, thegirls are waiting to meet their
uncle mike.
And then it was like he haslike this weird like thought
process.
Like mike, the house is gonnablow up.
We gotta get them out of there.
It just explodes right then.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
and there, well, mike says that to reggie yeah, that
was it, um, but but prior tothat they were talking about
Thanksgiving dinner, apparently.
Yeah, and so Thanksgiving.
I mean, I don't know if it wasThanksgiving dinner, but he sure
sounded like it wasThanksgiving.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
I don't know anybody eating a turkey on any other day
except Thanksgiving.
That's a whole ass turkey.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Yeah, that's, that's.
That's a good point, that's areally really good point.
You know, I don't know a turkeyconnoisseur and I don't know a
turkey connoisseur, and whathappens is they basically go on
this whole vendetta Like they'regoing to track down the tall
man.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Yeah, and that's where it gets really fucking
awkward.
It starts looking like a carcommercial.
Yep For like a few hours,Mm-hmm.
The movie also can't decidewhether it wants to be Nightmare
on Elm Street um Hellraiser anduh, evil Dead, oh and the Thing
(03:30):
.
And Evil Dead, yeah, and EvilDead.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
It's definitely all over the place.
You know, they basically go onthis cross-country trip trying
to find out where the Tall manis.
They go to different towns thathave apparently been sucked dry
by the Tall man.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Yeah, the Tall man apparently has to, has to uh,
kill as many people as possible.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Yeah, he's got to make his midget army as much as
he can.
And, you know, the interestingthing is is, like, throughout
this whole time, we're alsohearing about this other
character.
Um, liz, liz, yeah, liz, youknow, and apparently we saw a
vision of liz, and we can't tellif that was a dream or not, but
but apparently she had fucking,you know, the, you know, like a
(04:08):
, like a Freddy Krueger tumor onher back.
You know.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Yeah.
And then uh, it comes out andit's like nice try, boy yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Boy is like Angus scrims like favorite word to say
Also that's my favorite,favorite actual name for an
actor.
Angus Scrimm.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yep.
He doesn't have very many linesor appearances in this movie.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Yeah, he's just kind of there.
You know his henchmen get morescenes than he does.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
And he has henchmen.
I just want you to know that.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Yeah, like normal human henchmen, by the way.
Yeah, that was the confusingpart.
I guess he manipulates them andbrainwashes them.
Who fucking knows manipulatesthem and brainwashes them?
Who fucking knows it?
Speaker 2 (04:45):
wasn't very clear.
Lcs zombies too.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Yeah, zombies, he has a priest that's under his
control.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Who then betrays him?
Yep.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
He turns his back on them and basically you know we
go through this whole moviewhere they pick up a hitchhiker.
I think her name was.
What was the girl's name?
Speaker 2 (05:03):
It doesn't matter.
Oh, it was Alchemy.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Alchemy yeah, they pick up.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
That's the most and it's funny they're going to
Oregon.
That's the most Oregon-ass nameI've ever heard.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I'm a white girl named Alchemy.
Oh yeah, I expected that, andbasically they end up going to
the.
They finally get to their finaldestination, which is Alchemy's
hometown, and it turned into ashithole.
Turned into a shithole.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Like regular Oregon.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yep, and it's really funny because this movie is very
self-aware, right?
Oh yeah, like the whole fuckingtime they're just making
one-liners here and there, andthen they set up this whole
thing where Liz and hergrandmother and her they just
buried the grandfather and it'sreally hilarious because Also
they never explain what happenedto her sister.
What?
(05:48):
Because they never explainedwhat happened to her sister.
What was her name?
Jizz, I can't remember whateverthe fuck.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
She just disappeared.
Oh yeah, she just disappeared,and that's what I'm saying is
like they never showed her as amidget or anything, nothing yeah
, what happens is grandma turnsinto a midget, and you know it
hits her in the head and shejust jokingly goes.
Oh sorry, grandma yeah, likethat was hilarious, though that
when she hit her with the vase.
That shit was just too funny.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Well, it's sad because I know Grandma was like
really Really disappointed aboutGrandpa.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
And I mean she was traumatized by watching Father
McGregor just stab right throughher.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Right through Grandpa .
Yeah, it was pretty crazy, butyou know, we kind of get towards
.
Like you know the part of themovie where you know they're in
the town, they're set up in thishouse.
They have like a grenade set up, a hand grenade and a half-cut
Budweiser can like it's Vietnam.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Yep and then they have a shotgun set up which, by
the way, when that grenade goesoff, there should have been so
much more debris and shrapneleverywhere.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Yep and Reggie's getting laid and he's basically.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
The funniest way possible.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
And she's like licking his forehead, kissing
and licking the top of his headSaying oh, I love your head.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Yeah, and then she rides him while choking him.
Yep, that was like.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
I know you like that.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Yeah, that was pretty good, know you like, I know you
like that.
Yeah, that was, that was pretty, that was pretty good.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
That's my favorite position and um, yeah, basically
it ends up happening though uh,it's, it's a pretty simple
movie goes off and she just acts, very confused though she's
like reggie.
They come on back and whilethey're downstairs inspecting,
the tall man steals liz away togo back to his.
You know fucking house ofhorrors window, yeah, waiting at
(07:31):
the window, and um, yeah, soyou know, we have a quadruple
barrel shotgun, we have aflamethrower and all this other
interesting stuff.
A drill bit.
We also have a tiny littlechainsaw.
They show up to the tall man'shouse to save Liz and we
basically get the main part ofthe movie where everything goes
(07:51):
crazy and they end up fightingthe henchmen, yeah the henchmen,
yeah henchmen, and then minions, and we finally get to see that
retarded quadruple barrelshotgun finally be used in this
whole movie.
Yep, and then they used it onetime, and that was it.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Yeah that was very underwhelming, but not as funny
as the scene we skipped over inthe house before Liz got
kidnapped, when her and Mike aresleeping next to each other and
they're looking at each otherand their lips aren't moving as
they're communicating andthey're like we're dreaming.
Mike, oh wow, that's fuckinghorrible.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
The acting was terrible.
Yeah, and let's talk about thefact.
In the last movie, every time acar would hit something, it
would explode.
In this scene, the car flipsover, doesn't explode, and then
it actually uses real-lifephysics, with the gas fucking
leaking out and catching on fire.
Yeah, and let's remember thatthe only thing that really blows
up in this movie is the housesyep, yep, the houses blow up,
(08:50):
the cars not so much, andbasically we, we, we, you know,
we find out, by the way, becauseso we have a big showdown where
they're all fighting thesedifferent guys.
One guy gets cooked in an oven,another guy gets fucking like
decapitated or gets destroyedfrom the inside by one of the
fucking balls.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
It turns out, the balls are also keys.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
So the balls apparently are just like pocket
knives.
They have like 20 differentfunctions.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Yeah, it lobotomizes people, it shoots three prongs
in them, it cuts off their ears,it has laser beams, it has a
scanner.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
It can scan everything it can.
It's a key, apparently.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
It can grind its way into your body and turn your
insides into fucking liquid pulpshit you know, yeah, it's like,
but but you know, like, afterexplaining all that thing, all
that shit and then finding outit's also a key yeah you know,
nickel nickel was really puzzledby that yeah, yeah, it murders
everything.
Oh, and, by the way, it's a keyyep, it's a key.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
And when they get the key they open up the
interdimensional like gate towhere they send the fucking
barrels of midgets to this otherdimension where you have to be
shrunk down for whatever fuckingreason by the way the midgets
are when they get out of thebarrel.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
They're like slimy goo babies.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Slimy goo babies and literally poor Reggie's stuck in
this other dimension, and oneof them touches him, and he's
just like Mike get me out ofhere.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Just get me out of here.
Help Mike, and he's like.
I don't want to get touched bythis thing.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Yeah, and they end up having their final battle with
the tall man, and it's prettyanti-climatic because earlier
reggie filled one of the littlevats up that they apparently
pump into these fucking bodies.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Bombing fluid was filled with hydrochloric acid.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
I'm guessing that fluid.
What it does is it goes intothe regular size body and it
like digests the body and makesit small into a midget.
That's the only thing I cankind of figure.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Well, I mean, I don't really know what embalming
fluid does other than preservethe insides of the body.
But you know, that's the thing.
If you're embalmed, why are youembalming them if you're going
to?
Speaker 1 (10:56):
put stuff on them.
I don't think it's embalmingfluid, I think it's some kind of
solution that like shrinks thebody or weird.
It doesn't make any sense, butI'm just, it's a funeral home
and then it's not.
Yeah, I mean we're trying toinject logic here.
You know where there's no logic, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Another thing we were able, every time you like want
to predict something like as ajoke.
It's like when I was talkingabout oh yeah, you know,
reggie's probably picking upthis chick dick wet since his
family died, and then at the endof the movie you're like, oh,
he's just gonna pop up in thefront seat.
Yeah, and he did that samething.
It's like you could predictthis shit.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Just trying to be funny yeah, it's just, it's it's
self-aware at this point, Imean literally they get into a
final battle with him.
He gets hit by the fucking, youknow, by the, the metal ball,
and it does the same thing thatit does everybody else and the
fucking tall man just rips itoff his fucking forehead and
crushes it like a beer can, likeyou said.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Yeah, and then he has a tentacle come out of his
skull.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Yep, and that was never explained, because before
we could even get an explanationfor that, all of a sudden they
inject him with the acid-infusedbalming fluid.
That fucking turns him intoliquid shit and he dissolves and
falls on the floor.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
So here's the thing right, he dies, but then he
comes back.
Does he just feel like pain,like it sucks, every time he
dies?
But he can come back.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Yeah, I mean, that happens sometimes, you know.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
It sounds annoying.
You never know man.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
I mean, you know, and then when they light up the
place, you know they catcheverything on fire.
And you know, by the way, theydidn't catch him on fire, they
just caught the place on fire.
They didn't even bothercatching the tall man on fire
when they were leaving, no, theyjust went with it.
Yeah, and that's when they meetup with alchemy again, and you
know, reggie thinks yeah andreggie thinks he's gonna get
lucky.
And before it happened, like Isaid, like nick said, I fucking
I called it.
I was like that's the tall mandude it's obviously the tall man
(12:42):
he's.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
He's brushing her hair and then a large chunk of
her skin just falls off.
Yep, and then, um, you knowreggie's's hanging out on the
outside of the car asking forhelp.
You think he's dead.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Falls on the ground, you think he's totally fucking
dead.
And then you cut Just taking anap, just taking a nap, and then
the two, liz and Mike, are inthe back.
Oh, it's just a dream, it'sjust a dream.
And then we get the bestfucking line in the entire movie
.
He just literally the tall man,opens up the fucking the front
window thing and goes oh no,it's not.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
It's not a dream, it's not a dream.
And then, and then the moviestops.
And then we know that the thirdmovie is going to start at that
position, right there, yeah, wealready expect it.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
We expect it to be, we expect, we expect it to be,
we expect you know.
I'll be honest with you.
I expect this movie to be evencrazier.
More Cenobites, probably, yeah,something like that.
But that was Phantasm 2.
Let's talk about the dumb cooland the weird.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Let's start with the dumb.
You know what?
Let's limit it to like one dumbthing, because this whole
movie's dumb.
Yes, the fucking orbs.
Okay, the orbs being thisall-encompassing Swiss Army
knife murder machine that's akey and then a key Like that is
(13:59):
the most annoying, dumb thingever.
It's like yeah, so these thingswill track you down, lobotomize
you, turn your insides intogobbledygook or shoot laser
beams after using the infraredtracking system.
Oh and it's a key.
It opens up, it works for mycar, it works for these doors.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
You know fun things well, um, you know, to kind of
add, we talked about earlier.
You know, we talked about thebeginning of the movie.
You know the dumb thing thatI'm.
The one dumb thing I noticed isall these fucking small towns
have no fucking police force.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yeah, Nobody's like you know, everybody's dying at a
very strange rate here.
There's a lot of crimehappening with this one, no
nothing.
No, nothing.
Grave robbery would have beenthe top thing that this small
town police force would havebeen all over trying to figure
out.
Yeah, no, grave robbery wouldhave been like the top thing
that this small-town policeforce would have been like, all
over trying to figure out.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Yeah, exactly, and let's be honest, the cool thing
about this movie is when theyblew up the fucking house.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Yeah, that was pretty cool.
That's where all the budgetwent, besides the room with the
tuning fork portal.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Yep room with the tuning fork portal, the house
and the car exploding.
That's obviously and I guessyou could say the visual effects
for the tall man fuckingmelting.
Yeah.
So but yes, I think theexplosion of the house was the
coolest part of that wholefucking movie.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
And I guess we gotta go to the weird.
Yeah, you can go first, man,because I know you got something
to say the fact that this moviecan't figure out what horror
genre it wants to belong to.
Are the fact that this moviecan't figure out what horror
genre it wants to belong to?
Are we Cenobites?
Are we Deadites?
Are we Jawas?
Am I the Crypt Keeper?
No, what the fuck are you?
(15:43):
This isn't the thing.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Yep, and is this a science fiction movie?
Is this a horror movie?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
I mean, Is it a comedy?
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah, Is it a?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
car commercial.
Is this a horror movie?
I mean, is it a comedy?
Is it a car commercial?
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Yeah, literally a car commercial.
It literally looked like a carcommercial that one time in the
movie.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Most of the angles when they're driving.
It looks like it's trying topromote that car Like let's go
places.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Yeah, let's go places .
You gotta go murder the fuckingtall man next week.
You're going places.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Cross country to murder a tall, mysterious man.
Get yourself a Mustang.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
A Mustang.
Yeah, I think the weirdest partabout this entire movie is the
fact that Reggie tried topretend at the beginning of the
fucking movie that none of thatshit really happened and it was
all in Mike's mind.
That is a bunch of bullshit,dude.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
What I thought was funny is like you told everybody
that a bunch of midgets thatyou blew up my house full of
midgets that attacked you.
Come and find out, that'sReggie's house.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yeah, it's Reggie's house.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
That's Jody's house.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
That's weird.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Yeah, you know, I want to know the story about,
like when the older brother fromthe first movie did.
He just get through part of themovie and he was like I don't
ever want to come back for theseagain.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Yeah, so then they had to come up with a different
plot, I guess.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Because like everything seemed fine.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
I mean, yeah, and this is Phantasm 2.
I mean, if you wanna watch Amovie that is fucking Bat shit
crazy Off the wall, watch thismovie, but you need to watch
Phantasm 1 first.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
You know, with all the troubling Things in the
world, watch Phantasm To makesense of your life.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Yeah, You're really upset About the election.
Just watch Phantasm.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
You know you shit your pants, watch Phantasm.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Phantasm.
It's recommended for theholidays.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
And any delusions of grandeur.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
You want to sign us out, Nick?
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Stay sexy Atlanta.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Thanks for watching the Dumb, Cool, Weird Podcast,
where we cover some of yourfavorite movies in 20 minutes or
less for your convenience.
We go over what is dumb, cooland weird about movies and check
out our Wayback Wednesdays.
We do sometimes for other stuff, and please share us with your
friends.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.