Ever wonder why some cult classics leave us scratching our heads in puzzled delight? Join us as we reminisce about the unmistakable charm of 90s local video stores, with their musty scents and mysterious adult sections, and our bewildering encounter with the movie "Phantasm." This bizarre blend of low-budget horror and sci-fi had us hooked as kids and still leaves us giggling today. From the intimidating Tall Man to the quirky Reggie and his ice cream truck escapades, we unravel the film's chaotic plot and question whether its oddball charm was a product of its time or a stroke of creative genius. Is it better-than-bad in a way that only films like "King Kung Fu" can be? Listen in to find out.
Prepare for a rollercoaster of chaos as we tackle interdimensional demons, mustard-bleeding aliens, and the wild imagination that defines "Phantasm." We recount the ridiculousness of a beetle-transformation, plans to trap the Tall Man in abandoned mines, and jaw-dropping plot twists including a shape-shifting girl with a knife. Just when you think it's all a dream, horror strikes again! This episode is a humorous celebration of the film's blend of humor, horror, and inexplicable moments, guaranteed to make you see cult classics in a whole new light.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
dumb cool, weird podcast.
Welcome to the dumb cool, weirdpodcast.
We just watched phantasm.
It was fucking dumb.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Yeah, it was uh it was rough to watch.
Okay, it was the down.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
It was the low budget return of the living dead meets
hellraiser yeah, it'sdefinitely very strange, with a
lot of weird rushed sciencefiction elements there too.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Yeah, I wasn't sure if it wanted to be a paranormal
movie or if it wanted to be ascience fiction film, but then a
zombie film.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Yeah, it's really bizarre.
You know it's funny.
A little story about this movieis years ago when I was a kid,
back in the 90s.
Little story about this movieis years ago.
When I was a kid, back in the90s, I walked into a video store
with my dad and it was a localvideo store over in Dawsonville.
So it was not a blockbuster, itwas that old, stale, smelling
video store.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
It had the beads in the back that brought you to the
porn collection of the old man.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
I'm pretty sure it did.
Pretty sure it did.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Your dad was like yeah, west, go go pick out a
movie.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
I got some important business behind the beads, yeah
and it's funny because we walkedover there and he was looking
at stuff and I was looking atstuff and I saw just this video
cassette sitting up on, you know, on the shelf and it was that
fucking tall man with thatlittle metal orb thing he uses
in the movie and he was makingthat face where it looked like
(01:26):
he's having a stroke and I'mlike, I'm like what the fuck is
that?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
It really does have that smile that gives you a
stroke, yeah, and so.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
I watched it and my dad asked me later on, after I
watched it he's like, what'd youthink of it?
And I was like I, I'm confused,I have no idea what's going on
in this movie.
And I thought maybe it'sbecause I had that sense of like
, not understanding, because Iwas a kid.
But after watching this againwith nick, I have no idea what
the fuck's going on in this.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
I mean, you made it sound like it was a completely
different movie from what youwatched back in the 90s.
We watched it again.
Yeah, this is my first time andI'm gonna tell you right now
it's just fucking weird.
I it starts off with a sexscene in the cemetery.
This has got to be the weirdestmissionary position cowgirl
riding session I've ever seen inmy life Mm-hmm, I mean.
(02:13):
And then he turns into the oldman and stabs Billy.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
And he's dead.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Yeah, everyone had some fucked up teeth.
I'm glad that we really wentpast the dental work of the 70s.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Yeah, we kind of moved on from that and basically
you could summarize this movieinto one thing.
It's basically this kid issuspicious of this funeral home
and his brother just wants toget laid at first and run him
off to his laid at first and runhim off, he wants to run away
To his aunt yeah, and the wholetime this shit's going on.
(02:50):
Basically we get this cat andmouse between this tall man and
the little kid.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Yeah, oh, and there's a guy who sells ice cream with
a skullet.
Yeah, his name's Reggie.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Which is actually his real name.
In real life.
It turns out after looking intothe movie, the director
actually wrote that part for hisbuddy, who's actually named
Reggie.
I'm not even joking.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Yep, he has the ice cream truck.
He has the most wholesome andrealistic job for the 70s.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Yeah, and you know, Reggie, and the older brother,
it looks like they're trying tostart a band, and you know they
just don't, I think.
And the older brother, it lookslike they're trying to start a
band, and you know they justdon't.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
They just don't.
I think Billy was a drummer.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Yeah, yeah, I think Billy was a drummer and they're
just, you know, they don'tbelieve the little brother.
The little brother, like, seesthe tall man pick up Billy's
coffin, you know, with justfucking raw doggit Picks it up
Like a 500-pound coffin, didn'teven give a shit.
And we get to see basicallywhat ends up happening to these
people when, when the tall mantakes them, basically he turns
(03:49):
them into midgets.
Yeah, they're like little jawas, the jawas, and yeah, they're
jawas.
That's really what they are.
Actually I wouldn't besurprised if there's props.
oh, I wouldn't be surprised ifthose props were actually taken
from the star wars movie,because that's actually everyone
was dressed like indiana, jonesand han solo too yeah, it's
really weird and um, yeah, sobasically the whole movie is
(04:11):
they're just trying to figureout if what this tall man's up
to and you know, try to kill him.
Try to kill him.
He has an orb that he shoots atpeople with, that has blades in
it yeah, really.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Uh.
It was funny, though when thejanitor knows the groundskeeper
gets like struck right in theface the first time you ever
find one of these orbs and youknow.
At first it's like, oh, wow,he's got like three prongs in
his face.
Then it drills into his skulland it squirts blood.
Squirts like all of the fluidsout of his head, like a period
blood orgasm.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
And then he pisses himself.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Yeah, and the worst part is, you see, yeah, it's
pretty fucking bad.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
It's pretty graphic.
Yeah, it's pretty, prettygraphic.
You know, one of the thingsthat um was also interesting
about this movie is because ofthe editing.
The plot is really bizarre andyou know, I can't tell if it was
just the director was havingtrouble or if it was just
seriously.
Just that's was his vision forthe movie, you know.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Well, you know, anything's better than King Kung
Fu in terms of editing.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
I don't think anything's going to be as bad as
King Kung Fu.
I mean, we keep coming back tothat movie.
I don't think anything willever be that bad.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
You know, for a while , though, we were on a streak of
just watching really goodmovies, you know, I mean we
still got to go back andre-watch all of the Hercules
series for way back Wednesdays.
Yeah, so that's going to be oursaving grace, but you know,
we're about to torture ourselvesfor a full month watching all
of these sequels.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Yeah, so we're going to watch the Phantasm sequels to
kind of because you know we'reinvested in the story already
because we watched the trailersafter watching this for those
movies, and every trailerbasically starts off by
explaining to you what aPhantasm is.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Yeah, and until the fourth and fifth one, yeah.
Then they just gave up.
It's like they knew the firstthree movies.
But we're definitely excitedsort of for these.
It's kind of like that badmovie you can't stop watching.
It's like a Steven Seagal flick.
Yeah, you know, skinny to fat,the man still can't act.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
That's why he lives in Russia, where he won't be
charged for sex crimes.
There you go.
But basically, to summarizethis movie just as quickly as
possible, all it really is isthey chase after the tall man.
The tall man comes after them.
He sixes Jawas on them.
You think Reggie dies.
Reggie doesn't die.
His truck gets flipped over,he's alive.
And then they get attacked in acar by Jawas yeah, over.
And then his he's alive.
And then they get attacked in acar by jawas.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Yeah, and those two blondes that they never gave us
any real like understanding whothey were, what the relation was
to the family.
It was like the black maid,right in the house she just
shows up oh, are you boys donefor the day?
And you're just like where,where the fuck did you come from
?
Speaker 1 (06:46):
yep, and that's.
That's another thing about thismovie.
Because of the editing, thereis parts of this movie where
something would happen and thenyou'd be like what's going on?
And all of a sudden thecharacter would just pop up
again and then nothing isaddressed.
Literally, the older brotherpulls out the sarcophagus, opens
it up and he doesn't seeanything in there, and then it
(07:08):
cuts back to the little brother.
He opens it up and then hemeets nothing.
And then he meets up with hisolder brother again and they're
just like they shoot one of theorbs.
Yeah, they shoot one of theorbs, but like he's like.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
He's like I saw something but I'm not gonna talk
about it, and they're just likeokay well, you know, and here's
the thing, then they, theyaccidentally go to their
universe after touching thetuning fork dimension yeah, so
it turns out they're a it'saliens it's aliens, but also a
phantom yeah, it's really weird.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Like, literally like the little brother, the, the
biggest fucking bullshit ass,pull on your.
Like you can ever think aboutthe little brother's like, oh,
that must be their planet wherethe gravity is higher, so that's
why they have to turn them intodwarfs.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Yeah.
And it's hot, and it's hot, andit's like what the fuck does
that have to do with anything?
All I know is that these aliensare just demons,
interdimensional demons,something Alex Jones talks about
them quite a bit.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Yeah, what's funny, though, though, is they also
bleed Mustard.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Yeah, humans bleed ketchup, alien, demon creatures
bleed mustard.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Yep, and they Take his finger and then the finger
Gets trapped in a box andbecomes a beetle yeah, beetle,
fly thing and they have to killit.
And what's really funny isthere's a scene when they're
sitting outside and he shows hisolder, older brother the finger
and he looks at him and goesyou know what?
I believe you.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
I believe you yeah, you just got this like prop
finger and some mustard yeahhe's like you know, you can't
really make that shit up yeah,you know what's funny.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Funny too is that the very you know like, once they
get to the end where they'retrying to.
So they come up with a plan totry to lure the tall man into
these abandoned mines, and thelittle brother is supposed to
stay at home, but then he endsup coming out anyway and he Well
, he was also attacked at thehouse by the tall man who was
like I've been waiting for you,boy, Boy.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
And so they end up.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
It's actually really funny.
Who was like I've been waitingfor you, boy Boy?
And so they end up.
It's actually really funny.
They end up going, he ends upgetting chased, and when he's
getting chased by the tall manhe turns into the hot girl with
the knife again and he getstrapped in some quicksand.
And then they end up going tothe mine and then the brother
somehow knows to knock thesegiant boulders over which, by
(09:33):
the way, how the fuck did he do?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
that he couldn't.
I mean, this is the part whereit's crazy, too, is when you
find out after that they'resitting in front of the fire
with reggie, who was stabbed ina scene prior it was all a dream
, remember yeah, it was all adream.
Your older brother was nothinghad your.
Your older brother has nothingto do with the, with that tall
man.
He died in a car accident.
(09:54):
You know, let's get away fromthis place.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Yeah, grown man talking to a teenager yeah, it's
creepy yeah we'll get in thecar and we'll go somewhere and
basically it ends with him goingup and packing his bag and then
he gets attacked by the tallman and then, like some, kind of
zombie monster deadite grabsand pulls him in the closet and
that's the end of the movie youknow, and and that let's get on.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Let's get on to this.
All right, because we saw theother trailers.
Half of the bad guys aredeadites, jawas and fucking.
What are the ones from?
Deadites are from Evil Dead,yep.
I was trying to think of theother ones, and some of them
look like Cenobites, yep.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
It's kind of all over the place.
I mean, you know, the fact islike we can't really know what's
really going on, because if itwas all just a dream, all that
stuff could have been just inhis imagination, right.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Yeah, but then the other Phantasm movies prove that
this is not a dream.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Yeah, and it's very interesting to see how that goes
.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
We're kind of excited , kind of regretting this.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Yep, let's talk about the dumb, cool and the weird.
What was dumb about this movie?
I know this is going to bepretty easy, Wow.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
I mean really Just the whole thing.
The fucking Jawas, the conceptof the Jawas, is the fucking
dumbest thing I've ever seen.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
They're slaves.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
They're slaves but they need to crush their bodies
down because of the gravity andthe heat.
Oh and then let's not mentionthat their dimension runs like a
tuning fork.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Yeah, let's also bring up the fact that these
characters are fucking stupid.
They just keep going and doingthings without actually bringing
back up half the time.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Yeah, there's not one cop in this whole town, whole
town, because they are unloading.
They're just shooting randomlythroughout this whole freaking
neighborhood.
Yeah, getting into high-speedchases, I mean, the tall man
blew up once.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Yep, he did in a fucking car, by the way.
That's fucking dumb.
Literally, the fucking car isdriving and he shoots out the
tire, jumps out the back.
He barely hits a pole andexplodes yeah oh, you know what
else is dumb?
Let's go back to that rockscene.
How the fuck did he push thoserocks over with his bare hands?
Speaker 2 (12:15):
there's no way yeah, no, that there's no way.
There weren't even that manyrocks up there for him to push
down, like it would have madesense.
You know, if there's like oneboulder, yeah, and it goes down
there yeah, but he pushed allthose boulders down, so fucking
stupid but wait a minute, he'sinterdimensional.
He's been proven to come backafter being blown up, having his
fingers cut off, like you knowmultiple shit that they've done
(12:35):
to this tall man, right?
Yeah, do you think that this isgonna really stop him?
Speaker 1 (12:39):
nope, I don't think so.
So then let's um talk about thecool.
What was cool about this movie?
Wow, that's gonna be a hard one.
The guns were cool.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
You know yeah, the guns were cool the 1911, the
fuck it, a 12 gauge shotgun.
The fact that they look likethey had a springfield up there
which is never getting, I likethat knife the kid had too.
Oh yeah, like that old Rambosurvival knife, Mm-hmm.
Yeah, those are popular at BassPro Shop.
Very nice.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Yep, and I'm pretty sure that was the only cool
thing about those.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
That was a nice 1911, but damn, he put so many
bullets in that dwarf.
Yeah, didn't take him out atall.
45 ACP, no, didn't take him outat all.
45 acp, no, no, let's talkabout something else.
That was fucking.
That.
That was kind of.
That was kind of dumb.
Real quick, all right, whenthat dwarf is attacking his
brother, jody right, and youknow he's got him in a chokehold
(13:33):
, he pulls out his gun and justkind of like, does that one of
these like really close to hishead to clip the fucking thing
in the in the head with that?
It's like.
It's like, you know, you almostshot yourself.
Stupid.
Yeah, like what?
Like no point are you thinking?
You know, maybe I should try tolike?
No, no, I'm just gonna do this.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Look at me, wes, safety, safety yeah, as you can
tell folks, there's more dumbabout this movie than there are
cool.
But now we're going to move onto the weird, and there's a lot
to talk about there.
Yeah, we'll talk about theweird.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Was the guy who was the groundskeeper also immortal?
Or was he just some guy likederanged guy that he hired
Because you know he was prettycool with him getting killed?
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I'm pretty sure he was just some random guy that he
hired.
But you know, what I thoughtwas the weirdest part was that
whole fucking plot about thembeing aliens.
Dude, that came the fuck out ofnowhere, dude.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
You know what?
Let's go back to the psychics.
When he goes to the psychicright, they have have like a
whole dune, like situation goingon.
We're like put your hand in thebox, oh, oh, it hurts.
It was only fear.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
It was only fear you didn't have to be afraid of it.
What's what was really weirdabout that is, like the she just
like randomly goes to thefucking house and like to that
and dies.
Yeah, and we don't.
We don't hear anything elseabout that, and the grandma's a
fucking bitch.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Yeah, she doesn't say anything Until the end, when
she starts laughing.
Yeah, because it's like ha,fucking dumbass kid Smoking
mirrors, nerd.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Smoking mirrors.
But yeah, that's pretty muchthe phantasm.
There's not really much to it.
There's a lot of dumb, yeah, alot of dumb, in this movie.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
And.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
I'm sure there's going to be a lot of dumb in the
next one too.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Yeah, but the next one looks like it has a higher
budget.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
I mean, people must have watched this film.
I mean, that's the only reasonsequels get made, although it
did take them ten years to makeanother one.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
You know that conversation must have been
great.
Hey, remember when we made thatmovie Phantasm.
Yeah you mean that shithole?
Yeah, let's do it again.
I got nothing else going on.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Reggie's like sure I'm in.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
I'm in.
I haven't acted in a while.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
And then they're like Reggie.
I'm not surprised.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Have you tried, maybe getting a haircut?
You know tried doing anythingdifferent than the skullet?
I like you know.
Try doing anything differentthan the skullet.
I like the skullet, yeah.
Uh.
Let's get on to the the what.
When the next one we're gonnasee a quadruple barrel shotgun?
Yeah, but not like a nicely puttogether one.
It's like somebody reallyjerry-rigged this thing together
(16:16):
oh yeah, it's gonna be crazy.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
I'm looking forward to it, but that was the phantasm
we got.
All we're gonna do, we're gonnado all four of the movies.
There's a fifth movie.
We'll probably save that onefor another time, if we can.
That's uh, that's a hard thatthat's a hard one yeah, so it's.
It looks like it has the budgetof, like you know, like a film
school or something.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
But anyway, that was phantasm it's probably made by
the people from our universityprobably Probably so.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
All right, you'll sign us out.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Stay sexy Atlanta.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Thanks for watching the Dumb, cool, weird podcast,
where we cover some of yourfavorite movies in 20 minutes or
less for your convenience.
We go over what is dumb, cooland weird about movies and check
out our Wayback Wednesdays.
We do sometimes for other stuff, and please share us with your
friends.
dumb cool, weird podcast.
Welcome to the dumb cool, weirdpodcast.
We just watched phantasm.
It was fucking dumb.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Yeah, it was uh it was rough to watch.
Okay, it was the down.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
It was the low budget return of the living dead meets
hellraiser yeah, it'sdefinitely very strange, with a
lot of weird rushed sciencefiction elements there too.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Yeah, I wasn't sure if it wanted to be a paranormal
movie or if it wanted to be ascience fiction film, but then a
zombie film.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Yeah, it's really bizarre.
You know it's funny.
A little story about this movieis years ago when I was a kid,
back in the 90s.
Little story about this movieis years ago.
When I was a kid, back in the90s, I walked into a video store
with my dad and it was a localvideo store over in Dawsonville.
So it was not a blockbuster, itwas that old, stale, smelling
video store.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
It had the beads in the back that brought you to the
porn collection of the old man.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
I'm pretty sure it did.
Pretty sure it did.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Your dad was like yeah, west, go go pick out a
movie.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
I got some important business behind the beads, yeah
and it's funny because we walkedover there and he was looking
at stuff and I was looking atstuff and I saw just this video
cassette sitting up on, you know, on the shelf and it was that
fucking tall man with thatlittle metal orb thing he uses
in the movie and he was makingthat face where it looked like
(01:26):
he's having a stroke and I'mlike, I'm like what the fuck is
that?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
It really does have that smile that gives you a
stroke, yeah, and so.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
I watched it and my dad asked me later on, after I
watched it he's like, what'd youthink of it?
And I was like I, I'm confused,I have no idea what's going on
in this movie.
And I thought maybe it'sbecause I had that sense of like
, not understanding, because Iwas a kid.
But after watching this againwith nick, I have no idea what
the fuck's going on in this.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
I mean, you made it sound like it was a completely
different movie from what youwatched back in the 90s.
We watched it again.
Yeah, this is my first time andI'm gonna tell you right now
it's just fucking weird.
I it starts off with a sexscene in the cemetery.
This has got to be the weirdestmissionary position cowgirl
riding session I've ever seen inmy life Mm-hmm, I mean.
(02:13):
And then he turns into the oldman and stabs Billy.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
And he's dead.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Yeah, everyone had some fucked up teeth.
I'm glad that we really wentpast the dental work of the 70s.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Yeah, we kind of moved on from that and basically
you could summarize this movieinto one thing.
It's basically this kid issuspicious of this funeral home
and his brother just wants toget laid at first and run him
off to his laid at first and runhim off, he wants to run away
To his aunt yeah, and the wholetime this shit's going on.
(02:50):
Basically we get this cat andmouse between this tall man and
the little kid.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Yeah, oh, and there's a guy who sells ice cream with
a skullet.
Yeah, his name's Reggie.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Which is actually his real name.
In real life.
It turns out after looking intothe movie, the director
actually wrote that part for hisbuddy, who's actually named
Reggie.
I'm not even joking.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Yep, he has the ice cream truck.
He has the most wholesome andrealistic job for the 70s.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Yeah, and you know, Reggie, and the older brother,
it looks like they're trying tostart a band, and you know they
just don't, I think.
And the older brother, it lookslike they're trying to start a
band, and you know they justdon't.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
They just don't.
I think Billy was a drummer.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Yeah, yeah, I think Billy was a drummer and they're
just, you know, they don'tbelieve the little brother.
The little brother, like, seesthe tall man pick up Billy's
coffin, you know, with justfucking raw doggit Picks it up
Like a 500-pound coffin, didn'teven give a shit.
And we get to see basicallywhat ends up happening to these
people when, when the tall mantakes them, basically he turns
(03:49):
them into midgets.
Yeah, they're like little jawas, the jawas, and yeah, they're
jawas.
That's really what they are.
Actually I wouldn't besurprised if there's props.
oh, I wouldn't be surprised ifthose props were actually taken
from the star wars movie,because that's actually everyone
was dressed like indiana, jonesand han solo too yeah, it's
really weird and um, yeah, sobasically the whole movie is
(04:11):
they're just trying to figureout if what this tall man's up
to and you know, try to kill him.
Try to kill him.
He has an orb that he shoots atpeople with, that has blades in
it yeah, really.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Uh.
It was funny, though when thejanitor knows the groundskeeper
gets like struck right in theface the first time you ever
find one of these orbs and youknow.
At first it's like, oh, wow,he's got like three prongs in
his face.
Then it drills into his skulland it squirts blood.
Squirts like all of the fluidsout of his head, like a period
blood orgasm.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
And then he pisses himself.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Yeah, and the worst part is, you see, yeah, it's
pretty fucking bad.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
It's pretty graphic.
Yeah, it's pretty, prettygraphic.
You know, one of the thingsthat um was also interesting
about this movie is because ofthe editing.
The plot is really bizarre andyou know, I can't tell if it was
just the director was havingtrouble or if it was just
seriously.
Just that's was his vision forthe movie, you know.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Well, you know, anything's better than King Kung
Fu in terms of editing.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
I don't think anything's going to be as bad as
King Kung Fu.
I mean, we keep coming back tothat movie.
I don't think anything willever be that bad.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
You know, for a while , though, we were on a streak of
just watching really goodmovies, you know, I mean we
still got to go back andre-watch all of the Hercules
series for way back Wednesdays.
Yeah, so that's going to be oursaving grace, but you know,
we're about to torture ourselvesfor a full month watching all
of these sequels.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Yeah, so we're going to watch the Phantasm sequels to
kind of because you know we'reinvested in the story already
because we watched the trailersafter watching this for those
movies, and every trailerbasically starts off by
explaining to you what aPhantasm is.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Yeah, and until the fourth and fifth one, yeah.
Then they just gave up.
It's like they knew the firstthree movies.
But we're definitely excitedsort of for these.
It's kind of like that badmovie you can't stop watching.
It's like a Steven Seagal flick.
Yeah, you know, skinny to fat,the man still can't act.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
That's why he lives in Russia, where he won't be
charged for sex crimes.
There you go.
But basically, to summarizethis movie just as quickly as
possible, all it really is isthey chase after the tall man.
The tall man comes after them.
He sixes Jawas on them.
You think Reggie dies.
Reggie doesn't die.
His truck gets flipped over,he's alive.
And then they get attacked in acar by Jawas yeah, over.
And then his he's alive.
And then they get attacked in acar by jawas.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Yeah, and those two blondes that they never gave us
any real like understanding whothey were, what the relation was
to the family.
It was like the black maid,right in the house she just
shows up oh, are you boys donefor the day?
And you're just like where,where the fuck did you come from
?
Speaker 1 (06:46):
yep, and that's.
That's another thing about thismovie.
Because of the editing, thereis parts of this movie where
something would happen and thenyou'd be like what's going on?
And all of a sudden thecharacter would just pop up
again and then nothing isaddressed.
Literally, the older brotherpulls out the sarcophagus, opens
it up and he doesn't seeanything in there, and then it
(07:08):
cuts back to the little brother.
He opens it up and then hemeets nothing.
And then he meets up with hisolder brother again and they're
just like they shoot one of theorbs.
Yeah, they shoot one of theorbs, but like he's like.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
He's like I saw something but I'm not gonna talk
about it, and they're just likeokay well, you know, and here's
the thing, then they, theyaccidentally go to their
universe after touching thetuning fork dimension yeah, so
it turns out they're a it'saliens it's aliens, but also a
phantom yeah, it's really weird.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Like, literally like the little brother, the, the
biggest fucking bullshit ass,pull on your.
Like you can ever think aboutthe little brother's like, oh,
that must be their planet wherethe gravity is higher, so that's
why they have to turn them intodwarfs.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Yeah.
And it's hot, and it's hot, andit's like what the fuck does
that have to do with anything?
All I know is that these aliensare just demons,
interdimensional demons,something Alex Jones talks about
them quite a bit.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Yeah, what's funny, though, though, is they also
bleed Mustard.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Yeah, humans bleed ketchup, alien, demon creatures
bleed mustard.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Yep, and they Take his finger and then the finger
Gets trapped in a box andbecomes a beetle yeah, beetle,
fly thing and they have to killit.
And what's really funny isthere's a scene when they're
sitting outside and he shows hisolder, older brother the finger
and he looks at him and goesyou know what?
I believe you.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
I believe you yeah, you just got this like prop
finger and some mustard yeahhe's like you know, you can't
really make that shit up yeah,you know what's funny.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Funny too is that the very you know like, once they
get to the end where they'retrying to.
So they come up with a plan totry to lure the tall man into
these abandoned mines, and thelittle brother is supposed to
stay at home, but then he endsup coming out anyway and he Well
, he was also attacked at thehouse by the tall man who was
like I've been waiting for you,boy, Boy.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
And so they end up.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
It's actually really funny.
Who was like I've been waitingfor you, boy Boy?
And so they end up.
It's actually really funny.
They end up going, he ends upgetting chased, and when he's
getting chased by the tall manhe turns into the hot girl with
the knife again and he getstrapped in some quicksand.
And then they end up going tothe mine and then the brother
somehow knows to knock thesegiant boulders over which, by
(09:33):
the way, how the fuck did he do?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
that he couldn't.
I mean, this is the part whereit's crazy, too, is when you
find out after that they'resitting in front of the fire
with reggie, who was stabbed ina scene prior it was all a dream
, remember yeah, it was all adream.
Your older brother was nothinghad your.
Your older brother has nothingto do with the, with that tall
man.
He died in a car accident.
(09:54):
You know, let's get away fromthis place.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Yeah, grown man talking to a teenager yeah, it's
creepy yeah we'll get in thecar and we'll go somewhere and
basically it ends with him goingup and packing his bag and then
he gets attacked by the tallman and then, like some, kind of
zombie monster deadite grabsand pulls him in the closet and
that's the end of the movie youknow, and and that let's get on.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Let's get on to this.
All right, because we saw theother trailers.
Half of the bad guys aredeadites, jawas and fucking.
What are the ones from?
Deadites are from Evil Dead,yep.
I was trying to think of theother ones, and some of them
look like Cenobites, yep.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
It's kind of all over the place.
I mean, you know, the fact islike we can't really know what's
really going on, because if itwas all just a dream, all that
stuff could have been just inhis imagination, right.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Yeah, but then the other Phantasm movies prove that
this is not a dream.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Yeah, and it's very interesting to see how that goes
.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
We're kind of excited , kind of regretting this.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Yep, let's talk about the dumb, cool and the weird.
What was dumb about this movie?
I know this is going to bepretty easy, Wow.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
I mean really Just the whole thing.
The fucking Jawas, the conceptof the Jawas, is the fucking
dumbest thing I've ever seen.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
They're slaves.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
They're slaves but they need to crush their bodies
down because of the gravity andthe heat.
Oh and then let's not mentionthat their dimension runs like a
tuning fork.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Yeah, let's also bring up the fact that these
characters are fucking stupid.
They just keep going and doingthings without actually bringing
back up half the time.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Yeah, there's not one cop in this whole town, whole
town, because they are unloading.
They're just shooting randomlythroughout this whole freaking
neighborhood.
Yeah, getting into high-speedchases, I mean, the tall man
blew up once.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Yep, he did in a fucking car, by the way.
That's fucking dumb.
Literally, the fucking car isdriving and he shoots out the
tire, jumps out the back.
He barely hits a pole andexplodes yeah oh, you know what
else is dumb?
Let's go back to that rockscene.
How the fuck did he push thoserocks over with his bare hands?
Speaker 2 (12:15):
there's no way yeah, no, that there's no way.
There weren't even that manyrocks up there for him to push
down, like it would have madesense.
You know, if there's like oneboulder, yeah, and it goes down
there yeah, but he pushed allthose boulders down, so fucking
stupid but wait a minute, he'sinterdimensional.
He's been proven to come backafter being blown up, having his
fingers cut off, like you knowmultiple shit that they've done
(12:35):
to this tall man, right?
Yeah, do you think that this isgonna really stop him?
Speaker 1 (12:39):
nope, I don't think so.
So then let's um talk about thecool.
What was cool about this movie?
Wow, that's gonna be a hard one.
The guns were cool.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
You know yeah, the guns were cool the 1911, the
fuck it, a 12 gauge shotgun.
The fact that they look likethey had a springfield up there
which is never getting, I likethat knife the kid had too.
Oh yeah, like that old Rambosurvival knife, Mm-hmm.
Yeah, those are popular at BassPro Shop.
Very nice.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Yep, and I'm pretty sure that was the only cool
thing about those.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
That was a nice 1911, but damn, he put so many
bullets in that dwarf.
Yeah, didn't take him out atall.
45 ACP, no, didn't take him outat all.
45 acp, no, no, let's talkabout something else.
That was fucking.
That.
That was kind of.
That was kind of dumb.
Real quick, all right, whenthat dwarf is attacking his
brother, jody right, and youknow he's got him in a chokehold
(13:33):
, he pulls out his gun and justkind of like, does that one of
these like really close to hishead to clip the fucking thing
in the in the head with that?
It's like.
It's like, you know, you almostshot yourself.
Stupid.
Yeah, like what?
Like no point are you thinking?
You know, maybe I should try tolike?
No, no, I'm just gonna do this.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Look at me, wes, safety, safety yeah, as you can
tell folks, there's more dumbabout this movie than there are
cool.
But now we're going to move onto the weird, and there's a lot
to talk about there.
Yeah, we'll talk about theweird.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Was the guy who was the groundskeeper also immortal?
Or was he just some guy likederanged guy that he hired
Because you know he was prettycool with him getting killed?
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I'm pretty sure he was just some random guy that he
hired.
But you know, what I thoughtwas the weirdest part was that
whole fucking plot about thembeing aliens.
Dude, that came the fuck out ofnowhere, dude.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
You know what?
Let's go back to the psychics.
When he goes to the psychicright, they have have like a
whole dune, like situation goingon.
We're like put your hand in thebox, oh, oh, it hurts.
It was only fear.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
It was only fear you didn't have to be afraid of it.
What's what was really weirdabout that is, like the she just
like randomly goes to thefucking house and like to that
and dies.
Yeah, and we don't.
We don't hear anything elseabout that, and the grandma's a
fucking bitch.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Yeah, she doesn't say anything Until the end, when
she starts laughing.
Yeah, because it's like ha,fucking dumbass kid Smoking
mirrors, nerd.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Smoking mirrors.
But yeah, that's pretty muchthe phantasm.
There's not really much to it.
There's a lot of dumb, yeah, alot of dumb, in this movie.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
And.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
I'm sure there's going to be a lot of dumb in the
next one too.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Yeah, but the next one looks like it has a higher
budget.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
I mean, people must have watched this film.
I mean, that's the only reasonsequels get made, although it
did take them ten years to makeanother one.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
You know that conversation must have been
great.
Hey, remember when we made thatmovie Phantasm.
Yeah you mean that shithole?
Yeah, let's do it again.
I got nothing else going on.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Reggie's like sure I'm in.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
I'm in.
I haven't acted in a while.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
And then they're like Reggie.
I'm not surprised.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Have you tried, maybe getting a haircut?
You know tried doing anythingdifferent than the skullet?
I like you know.
Try doing anything differentthan the skullet.
I like the skullet, yeah.
Uh.
Let's get on to the the what.
When the next one we're gonnasee a quadruple barrel shotgun?
Yeah, but not like a nicely puttogether one.
It's like somebody reallyjerry-rigged this thing together
(16:16):
oh yeah, it's gonna be crazy.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
I'm looking forward to it, but that was the phantasm
we got.
All we're gonna do, we're gonnado all four of the movies.
There's a fifth movie.
We'll probably save that onefor another time, if we can.
That's uh, that's a hard thatthat's a hard one yeah, so it's.
It looks like it has the budgetof, like you know, like a film
school or something.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
But anyway, that was phantasm it's probably made by
the people from our universityprobably Probably so.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
All right, you'll sign us out.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Stay sexy Atlanta.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Thanks for watching the Dumb, cool, weird podcast,
where we cover some of yourfavorite movies in 20 minutes or
less for your convenience.
We go over what is dumb, cooland weird about movies and check
out our Wayback Wednesdays.
We do sometimes for other stuff, and please share us with your
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