Ever wondered how a ragtag group of 90s characters could still capture our hearts with all their chaotic charm? Wes and Nick continue their legendary journey watching the Hercules Tv Show Movies with where they unravel the hilarity and nostalgia of "Hercules and the Lost Kingdom," a gem from the past featuring Kevin Sorbo's iconic portrayal of Hercules. Get ready to laugh out loud as we recount the film's bizarre opening scenes—think ancient gods with a petty streak causing untimely deaths, and Kevin Sorbo's Hercules getting unhelpful pep talks from Zeus mid-battle. If you enjoy reminiscing about the quirks of 90s movies, this episode is a must-listen!
Join us as we critique and chuckle through the second half of the movie, following Hercules on a destined journey with a determined woman. We can't help but poke fun at the ridiculousness of mercenaries exploiting slaves who have managed to create their own bars and social structures. From dissecting the absurd plot points to appreciating the campy entertainment, our discussion is filled with humor and genuine affection for this classic. Grab your popcorn and come relive the adventures of Kevin Sorbo's Hercules with us!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
dumb, cool, weird podcast.
So we're doing hercules and thelost kingdom, which is a movie
that we watched like probablylike a month and a half ago yeah
, pretty much, but we all hadlike things we had to do.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
You were working on your movie yeah, working on a
movie.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Okay, boomer coming out later this year.
Absolutely go watch it.
So um, hercules and the LostKingdom.
What are our thoughts on thisfucking thing?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Well, it was good, still very poorly done, but a
good, poorly done 90s movie thatwas entertaining.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Yeah, that's the thing about Kevin Sorbo and
Hercules.
When I think of 90s Hercules, Ialways think of Kevin Sorbo,
and it's perfect because.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Kevin Sorbo has played the best Hercules.
You know, when I think of 90sHercules, I always think of
Kevin Sorbo and it's perfectbecause Kevin Sorbo has played
the best Hercules hands down.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
So the movie starts off with these three guys
running through the wilderness,across the fields, across the
fucking terrain, each onegetting murdered along the way.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Because of the ancient gods, it was Hera.
She was petty again and cruelyeah that's what the opening
says, anyway.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
They're all petty and cruel and one of them gets
murdered by getting drowned bysome bitch that's in the water
Drowns them.
She was a sea woman, sea witch,bitch, sea wench.
The other guy gets killed byrocks.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Yeah, yeah, it was funny, the rocks targeted him,
yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
I remember that.
And then the other guy justdies from exhaustion.
Yeah, what a very lame way todie.
He's like oh, I finally made ittime to die dead I'm dead as a
fucking doorknob.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yeah, bitch, you are dead.
And then you know, as usual,kevin sorbo is, uh, in the
middle of something likefighting a giant and zeus
appears out of nowhere to justyou know.
Tell him like you know fightharder, stop getting your ass
kicked.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Yep, it's like thanks , dad, and then he whips that
giant's ass and then he kind ofmoves on with his life.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
You know?
What was funny, though, is thathe was kind of they were both
sitting in the bar letting thegiant like torment these people
for a little bit.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
That's because the gods are petty and cruel.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Yeah, apparently, yeah, apparently, hercules was
kind of going down that samerole.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah, he was like well, Dad, am I supposed to be
petty and cruel?
Yeah, a little bit.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Yeah, a little.
I mean, you don't have to helpthese people.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Yep, that's what he said in the last one.
You know, women are justhelpless.
You can't help them.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Have you ever listened to women?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm Zeus.
I know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Yeah, that's why Hera was doing so well with me and
you.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Well, you know this movie.
What it kind of starts out, asis this woman, is like asking
Hercules for help.
She's got a destiny, yeah, it'sher destiny.
She's got to go with him.
So she goes with him to thisplace and this place has slaves.
The slaves are just, they'reslavey, they're a little slavey.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
They're very submissive.
They've created their ownsociety.
Once the masters fall asleep.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Yep and they go drinking.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Yeah, they have their own bars, they have their own
society, like I said, but theyget bullied by mercenaries.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yep and the one mercenary's like, oh, let me
come in here and make money offthese slaves.
And it's like man dude, youmust be a little bitch.
If you're making monies off theslaves, why don't you steal the
money from the actual peoplethat have the money.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah, that was funny.
It was like it's like why areyou out here robbing these
slaves?
Why not like rob their masters,who clearly have more money?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Exactly, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
No, that's what I'm saying.
No, but what I love is likewhen they get out of that town,
after hercules refuses to have,refuses to keep being the
manservant of the uh, the queenof that town, yep and uh, you
know that one bitch is stillfollowing him and she's just
causing problems the whole way,like hercules is trying to do
his thing and she just causesproblems left, right and center
yep and then that's the.
The leader of the slavesbasically follows them and he's
(03:45):
like I could be your slave, Ican do anything you're not a
slave anymore.
Dude, stop being a bitch yeah,and he just keeps having like
these moments of like stockholmsyndrome to slavery yep, so
basically joins them and theyget eaten by a serpent a giant,
a loch ness monster, likeserpent yep, on the fucking
beach.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
and the thing is, when they're in the belly of
this thing me and Nick weretalking about when they were
doing the production of thisthey must have been dumping
sewage and all the fucking, old,fucking food from months ago
into the fucking water.
And Kevin Sorbo and this girlare like it smells so bad in
here and the director's like, ohwell, it's method directing.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I took a piss in here real quick, one sec.
Let me take a shit real quick.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Yeah, so they're just trying to make it like as
disgusting as possible, and itmust have smelled so bad in
there, because, like it didn'tlook good, it was disgusting
looking.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah, it really looked disgusting, yeah.
And then they get attacked byYep While you know Kevin Sorbo's
like I'm just going to keeprunning through the intestines.
And then eventually, kevinSorbo punches the sea creature
in the heart and kills it, andkills it, and they happen to end
up in the location of thelizard people kingdom.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Yeah, so they're in the lost kingdom and him and her
are looking for her lostkingdom.
They find it.
They find out that she'sactually the princess of a guy
that's just about to die.
They literally get there justin time For him to die.
For him to die, yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yeah, and there's a ragtag of elderly people and
young child soldiers waiting toattack the castle.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Yep, and they all start training and Kevin Sorbo
is like, ah, you guys suck, andthey have a little training
montage.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Kind of like in what was it?
I'm trying to think of theBruce Campbell movie here.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Army of Darkness.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Yeah, like in Army of Darkness, where he gives them a
quick run through.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Yep of how to fight.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Yeah, and it just works.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
It just works.
So they go to fight thesecreatures, the lizard creatures,
and then they do their little.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Yeah, they were swinging swords and it was
making the staff twirling noises.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Yep, like from the last movie we reviewed.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
They really recycled a lot of the sound effects and
the extras.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Yep, they did In each movie.
Yep, they did, and they somehowbeat the lizard creatures.
But then the main lizard guy'slike, oh, I want to take this
one as my own.
And then they fucking kill thatguy.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah, it took Hercules a lot to kick his ass.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Yep, but he finally whipped his ass.
Hera lost.
They got their kingdom back.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
But Hera did put him in a tornado and then launched
him off.
Remember, yes.
Into some other random placewhere this Scottish guy was like
we need your help.
Yes, they sent him to thenorthern part of the continent.
Yeah, apparently Greece isCosta Rica, scotland and a few
other mountainous regions.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Yep, and that was Hercules and the Lost Kingdom.
It's definitely a veryinteresting movie.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Entertaining still.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
What's the dumb about this movie?
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Well, the dumb was the fact that the slaves just
couldn't figure out that freedomwas a lot better than what they
were dealing with.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Yeah, they weren't smart enough to realize that
freedom is really the way to go.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Yeah, like they just kept wanting to be slaves, like
they couldn't even just bemercenaries.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
No, they couldn't.
They couldn't just bemercenaries.
What was weird about this movie?
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Oh, the lizard people .
And the you know what,specifically I would say, that
giant Loch Ness monster set.
You know, the thing had aparasite in it, it had poo water
.
It didn't also make sensebecause you know, it somehow
brought them to the lizardkingdom.
But then the slaves alsoappeared to the lizard kingdom
without the big lizard Loch Ness.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Monster creature.
What was cool about this movie?
Kevin Sorbo, kevinmotherfucking Sorbo, sorbono
Sobrano.
Kevin Sorbo Now, seriously,kevin Sorbo looked pretty
fucking cool in this movie.
He looked a lot bigger he wasfucking big and he was fucking
shredded.
And God, he looked pretty goodwith the long hair.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
His hair was longer in this oneand he looked like he was
juicing up, yeah he's definitelyjuicing in this one, yep.
Dumb, but good.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
So that was Hercules and the Lost Kingdom, and if you
haven't seen it yet, go onAmazon.
It's there along with the wholeseries.
Watch the movies first, thenwatch the series.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Yeah, it won't make sense if you don't.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Yeah, so do it, bitch , fuck you.
Suck my cock, eat my ass, lickmy feet, do a whatever.
Thanks for checking out theDumb, cool, weird Podcast.
We're a movie podcast now.
dumb, cool, weird podcast.
So we're doing hercules and thelost kingdom, which is a movie
that we watched like probablylike a month and a half ago yeah
, pretty much, but we all hadlike things we had to do.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
You were working on your movie yeah, working on a
movie.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Okay, boomer coming out later this year.
Absolutely go watch it.
So um, hercules and the LostKingdom.
What are our thoughts on thisfucking thing?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Well, it was good, still very poorly done, but a
good, poorly done 90s movie thatwas entertaining.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Yeah, that's the thing about Kevin Sorbo and
Hercules.
When I think of 90s Hercules, Ialways think of Kevin Sorbo,
and it's perfect because.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Kevin Sorbo has played the best Hercules.
You know, when I think of 90sHercules, I always think of
Kevin Sorbo and it's perfectbecause Kevin Sorbo has played
the best Hercules hands down.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
So the movie starts off with these three guys
running through the wilderness,across the fields, across the
fucking terrain, each onegetting murdered along the way.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Because of the ancient gods, it was Hera.
She was petty again and cruelyeah that's what the opening
says, anyway.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
They're all petty and cruel and one of them gets
murdered by getting drowned bysome bitch that's in the water
Drowns them.
She was a sea woman, sea witch,bitch, sea wench.
The other guy gets killed byrocks.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Yeah, yeah, it was funny, the rocks targeted him,
yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
I remember that.
And then the other guy justdies from exhaustion.
Yeah, what a very lame way todie.
He's like oh, I finally made ittime to die dead I'm dead as a
fucking doorknob.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yeah, bitch, you are dead.
And then you know, as usual,kevin sorbo is, uh, in the
middle of something likefighting a giant and zeus
appears out of nowhere to justyou know.
Tell him like you know fightharder, stop getting your ass
kicked.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Yep, it's like thanks , dad, and then he whips that
giant's ass and then he kind ofmoves on with his life.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
You know?
What was funny, though, is thathe was kind of they were both
sitting in the bar letting thegiant like torment these people
for a little bit.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
That's because the gods are petty and cruel.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Yeah, apparently, yeah, apparently, hercules was
kind of going down that samerole.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah, he was like well, Dad, am I supposed to be
petty and cruel?
Yeah, a little bit.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Yeah, a little.
I mean, you don't have to helpthese people.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Yep, that's what he said in the last one.
You know, women are justhelpless.
You can't help them.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Have you ever listened to women?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm Zeus.
I know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Yeah, that's why Hera was doing so well with me and
you.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Well, you know this movie.
What it kind of starts out, asis this woman, is like asking
Hercules for help.
She's got a destiny, yeah, it'sher destiny.
She's got to go with him.
So she goes with him to thisplace and this place has slaves.
The slaves are just, they'reslavey, they're a little slavey.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
They're very submissive.
They've created their ownsociety.
Once the masters fall asleep.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Yep and they go drinking.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Yeah, they have their own bars, they have their own
society, like I said, but theyget bullied by mercenaries.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yep and the one mercenary's like, oh, let me
come in here and make money offthese slaves.
And it's like man dude, youmust be a little bitch.
If you're making monies off theslaves, why don't you steal the
money from the actual peoplethat have the money.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah, that was funny.
It was like it's like why areyou out here robbing these
slaves?
Why not like rob their masters,who clearly have more money?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Exactly, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
No, that's what I'm saying.
No, but what I love is likewhen they get out of that town,
after hercules refuses to have,refuses to keep being the
manservant of the uh, the queenof that town, yep and uh, you
know that one bitch is stillfollowing him and she's just
causing problems the whole way,like hercules is trying to do
his thing and she just causesproblems left, right and center
yep and then that's the.
The leader of the slavesbasically follows them and he's
(03:45):
like I could be your slave, Ican do anything you're not a
slave anymore.
Dude, stop being a bitch yeah,and he just keeps having like
these moments of like stockholmsyndrome to slavery yep, so
basically joins them and theyget eaten by a serpent a giant,
a loch ness monster, likeserpent yep, on the fucking
beach.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
and the thing is, when they're in the belly of
this thing me and Nick weretalking about when they were
doing the production of thisthey must have been dumping
sewage and all the fucking, old,fucking food from months ago
into the fucking water.
And Kevin Sorbo and this girlare like it smells so bad in
here and the director's like, ohwell, it's method directing.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I took a piss in here real quick, one sec.
Let me take a shit real quick.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Yeah, so they're just trying to make it like as
disgusting as possible, and itmust have smelled so bad in
there, because, like it didn'tlook good, it was disgusting
looking.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah, it really looked disgusting, yeah.
And then they get attacked byYep While you know Kevin Sorbo's
like I'm just going to keeprunning through the intestines.
And then eventually, kevinSorbo punches the sea creature
in the heart and kills it, andkills it, and they happen to end
up in the location of thelizard people kingdom.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Yeah, so they're in the lost kingdom and him and her
are looking for her lostkingdom.
They find it.
They find out that she'sactually the princess of a guy
that's just about to die.
They literally get there justin time For him to die.
For him to die, yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yeah, and there's a ragtag of elderly people and
young child soldiers waiting toattack the castle.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Yep, and they all start training and Kevin Sorbo
is like, ah, you guys suck, andthey have a little training
montage.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Kind of like in what was it?
I'm trying to think of theBruce Campbell movie here.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Army of Darkness.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Yeah, like in Army of Darkness, where he gives them a
quick run through.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Yep of how to fight.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Yeah, and it just works.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
It just works.
So they go to fight thesecreatures, the lizard creatures,
and then they do their little.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Yeah, they were swinging swords and it was
making the staff twirling noises.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Yep, like from the last movie we reviewed.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
They really recycled a lot of the sound effects and
the extras.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Yep, they did In each movie.
Yep, they did, and they somehowbeat the lizard creatures.
But then the main lizard guy'slike, oh, I want to take this
one as my own.
And then they fucking kill thatguy.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah, it took Hercules a lot to kick his ass.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Yep, but he finally whipped his ass.
Hera lost.
They got their kingdom back.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
But Hera did put him in a tornado and then launched
him off.
Remember, yes.
Into some other random placewhere this Scottish guy was like
we need your help.
Yes, they sent him to thenorthern part of the continent.
Yeah, apparently Greece isCosta Rica, scotland and a few
other mountainous regions.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Yep, and that was Hercules and the Lost Kingdom.
It's definitely a veryinteresting movie.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Entertaining still.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
What's the dumb about this movie?
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Well, the dumb was the fact that the slaves just
couldn't figure out that freedomwas a lot better than what they
were dealing with.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Yeah, they weren't smart enough to realize that
freedom is really the way to go.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Yeah, like they just kept wanting to be slaves, like
they couldn't even just bemercenaries.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
No, they couldn't.
They couldn't just bemercenaries.
What was weird about this movie?
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Oh, the lizard people .
And the you know what,specifically I would say, that
giant Loch Ness monster set.
You know, the thing had aparasite in it, it had poo water
.
It didn't also make sensebecause you know, it somehow
brought them to the lizardkingdom.
But then the slaves alsoappeared to the lizard kingdom
without the big lizard Loch Ness.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Monster creature.
What was cool about this movie?
Kevin Sorbo, kevinmotherfucking Sorbo, sorbono
Sobrano.
Kevin Sorbo Now, seriously,kevin Sorbo looked pretty
fucking cool in this movie.
He looked a lot bigger he wasfucking big and he was fucking
shredded.
And God, he looked pretty goodwith the long hair.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
His hair was longer in this oneand he looked like he was
juicing up, yeah he's definitelyjuicing in this one, yep.
Dumb, but good.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
So that was Hercules and the Lost Kingdom, and if you
haven't seen it yet, go onAmazon.
It's there along with the wholeseries.
Watch the movies first, thenwatch the series.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Yeah, it won't make sense if you don't.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Yeah, so do it, bitch , fuck you.
Suck my cock, eat my ass, lickmy feet, do a whatever.
Thanks for checking out theDumb, cool, weird Podcast.
We're a movie podcast now.
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