March 24, 2025 • 39 mins
In this episode, Karen and Brittany delve into how society perceives and reacts to displays of wealth, sparked by a recent Real Housewives of Beverly Hills episode where a cast member declared, "my wallet is bigger." They explore why we often associate positive traits like intelligence and morality with financial status and how these perceptions influence our interactions.
The discussion touches on the adage "money talks, wealth whispers," examining how true financial security often manifests subtly, contrasting with more ostentatious displays. They also consider whether wealth inherently bestows worth or simply amplifies one's existing character.
Through personal anecdotes and cultural analysis, Karen and Brittany highlight the importance of recognizing individuals beyond their financial status and offer insights into navigating conflicts gracefully, especially when faced with provocations. Amid global challenges, they emphasize that seeking joy and connection serves as a powerful act of resistance against despair.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Brittany S. Hale (00:01):
Hi Brittany.
Karen McFarlane (00:05):
It's been a week.
It's been a week, you know,been a year of a week over here.
I know, I know, but you know, Ithink you know, every week we
talk about, you know, the dramathat's going on in the world.
I'm not saying that you know, Ilove the drama.
Well, I like drama, not thedrama that's been happening.
Let me just correct that.
Brittany S. Hale (00:23):
I like to observe it, not to be involved
you know.
Karen McFarlane (00:28):
But you know, maybe just have fun this week.
What do you think?
Brittany S. Hale (00:32):
I think so.
I think the energy's beenpretty heavy.
You know, there's power inseeking joy.
Yeah, even in the darkest ofplaces.
Karen McFarlane (00:44):
Yeah, exactly.
So let's have fun with thisweek.
Talk about different drama,different types of drama that's
happening in the world.
Brittany S. Hale (00:50):
Okay.
Karen McFarlane (00:54):
It might not all be that fun, but at least
it's just a different.
It's a different angle,absolutely Listen.
Brittany S. Hale (00:58):
As a pop culture connoisseur, can I tell
you there's been a lot going onand our executive producer, mina
, has been telling me there'sall sorts of things happening in
the zeitgeist that she's aboutto discuss.
Karen McFarlane (01:16):
All right, mina .
What's the first topic?
What's been going on?
Brittany S. Hale (01:21):
Well, she is a Housewives fan.
Uh-huh well, she is ahousewives fan, uh-huh, and
there's a lot, a lot going onwithin the housewives,
particularly around.
I'd like your opinion on wealthworthception, specifically as
(01:44):
it pertains to the realhousewives of Beverly Hills.
Karen McFarlane (01:48):
Hmm.
Brittany S. Hale (01:50):
Now these tend to at least they're perceived
as the wealthiest housewives,right, because they have these
palatial homes in Beverly Hills,california.
There's tons of space, there'sjewels and handbags and $7,000
(02:11):
toasters and all sorts of thingsand, as has kind of become
customary for housewives,there's at least one housewife
who seems to be going throughsome financial trouble, right,
or appears to be going throughsome financial trouble, while
(02:32):
also dealing with marital issues, perhaps dealing with marital
issues because of the financialtrouble.
Nevertheless, these women areinvited to a caftans and caviar
party.
If you're unfamiliar with whata caftan is, it's a big, long,
(02:55):
flowy fabric.
Karen McFarlane (02:58):
Looks quite breathable, quite comfy.
Yes, and I think Jennifer Tillysaid something like it covers
up well.
This is what it.
You know.
It covers up well.
I was what I say.
It covers up all the evils.
I don't think she used thatword, but that's what she meant.
It is an inclusive garment.
Brittany S. Hale (03:15):
Anyone can wear it right um.
And this is her baked potatoparty, where the baked potatoes
would be topped with the finestcaviar that one could buy.
Karen McFarlane (03:29):
Not the orange, because the orange caviar is
very cheap.
Brittany S. Hale (03:33):
Yeah, I believe that's the salmon roe.
Yes, that you can get at yourlocal sushi spot.
Karen McFarlane (03:39):
They made a very big point of pointing that
out for all of us on television,right big point of pointing
that out for all of us ontelevision, right?
Brittany S. Hale (03:51):
so we now have two housewives who are in
conflict, and conflict iscustomary on housewives is part
of why we watch, to see howpeople choose to engage in
conflict, how they respond, andyou know how people at least
attempt to resolve it Right,typically at the reunion before
the next season.
But in this situation you haveone woman, dorit, who is going
(04:16):
through a separation with herhusband, as well as financial
issues.
You have another woman, sutton,who is wealthy due to her
divorce from her husband.
She's a very generous alimonypackage, something to the effect
of 300 plus thousand dollars amonth.
(04:39):
I think that's more thangenerous like quite, I would not
have any complaints.
Karen McFarlane (04:46):
No.
Brittany S. Hale (04:46):
But they're arguing and another housewife
interjects, erica, who had herfair share of financial troubles
and you know her husband wasindicted for misuse of funds as
a personal injury attorney.
As a personal injury attorney.
But she says to her do youthink you're bigger than her
(05:08):
Speaking to Sutton about Dorit?
And Sutton responds I'm goingto have a conflict.
Karen McFarlane (05:14):
I'm going to have an ongoing conflict.
Brittany S. Hale (05:16):
Do you remember what Sutton says?
Karen McFarlane (05:19):
I think my wallet is I think my wallet is.
Brittany S. Hale (05:23):
What was your response?
How did you watching that inreal time?
What did you think?
Karen McFarlane (05:29):
I was dumbfounded that someone would
be as bold as to say that youknow, especially given where her
money came from.
I mean, it may be a fact, Ihave no idea what their
individual finances are, but Ithought it was a super low,
classless thing to say.
It was low to say to someonewho you know more intimately
(05:52):
than we, as the audience knows,about her issues financial but
also just relationship-wise,going through this like she's in
a very hurt and difficult place.
And then it was just classlessto say in general, especially at
a table with I don't know,maybe there's like 10, 12 women
(06:15):
there to do that.
I was dumbfounded and I foundit was just very mean but also
very telling of you know, toyour original question, like
what do you think worth means asan individual?
And apparently in Sutton's viewit is tied to your wallet.
Brittany S. Hale (06:37):
Absolutely, and this also, uh, this, this
jogged my memory Also, thisjogged my memory.
Do you watch?
Karen McFarlane (06:47):
White Lotus.
I haven't watched.
Brittany S. Hale (06:48):
It's on my list of ones to watch, we're
going to have to have anotherepisode.
It's fantastic, no spoilers.
But there is a character whocomes from a moneyed family.
Her husband's very wealthy andhe comes from generational
wealth, and they're invited ontoa yacht on vacation.
(07:09):
And it's a family and themother is very hesitant.
She says, well, we don't knowthese people, we don't even know
if they're decent.
And so her son says, well,they're rich, they have a yacht.
And she says, well, I don'tknow them, I don't know they're
(07:31):
rich and therefore we need tobypass any sort of further
inspection of them because weautomatically find them to be
worthy, whether it's of our timebuilding relationships,
(07:55):
whatever.
And so when this mom, she says,well, I don't know if they're
decent, meaning that she neededthem to be rich in a particular
way, she needed to know how theygot their money.
And so her son says, well, yougo to the country club all the
time.
And she goes well, that'sdifferent, because I know them
and they know me.
(08:16):
And so when she said that, Isaid okay, so it's not only just
making sure that she's kind ofchecking the car facts, checking
the wallet facts, right, tomake sure that these people have
not only money but the righttype of money.
But in that sentence I knowthem and they know me.
She needs to make sure that anyenvironment she puts herself in
(08:41):
, she will be perceived as aperson of high worth and she's
not willing to risk being in anenvironment where that worth
isn't recognized and respected.
Karen McFarlane (08:59):
I mean, in some ways I understand this point
right Well, one, historically,if we go back to many centuries
ago, right, like worth wasdetermined by you know how much
money you had, how much youcould, you know land you owned
and how many times.
We also can apply some of thoseand your time and your gifts
(09:21):
right In whatever way.
(09:55):
So in some ways I understandthe mentality around that.
It just gets amplified when youmove into these spaces, and
even new money versus old money,that's a whole other language
that one needs to learn and whythat matters in any meaningful
(10:21):
way.
I also feel like and this isfrom some of my own experiences
witnessing things right, likewhen you are around people with
like a lot of money, right,there's not a lot of people that
can relate to that, becausemost people are somewhere here.
(10:42):
There's very few people thatare up here at the top, and so
your lifestyle and yourlifestyle changes, your
environment changes, how youhave to roll changes right,
because you have to operate atthis higher level, and so there
becomes this distance that's insome ways unavoidable and the
(11:03):
conversations change, and so itkind of just perpetuates this
sentiment, right, and this um,this split between the haves and
the have nots.
Brittany S. Hale (11:17):
Absolutely, and you know there's.
We always signal that where weare, whether it is the type of
phone you have, clothing, howyou wear your hair, how you
(11:37):
travel, right Vague referencesto where you travel, how you
describe traveling Do you summerplaces or do you go on vacation
?
Right aspirational activity ofnaming your child and how, every
(11:57):
now and then, names, thepopularity of baby names will
shift, because there's alwaysthis effort from the have-nots
(12:22):
to try to clamber up in socialstatus by naming their child
something that they believe is amoneyed name, and that very
same effort by the haves todistinguish themselves by using
(12:43):
names that are distinct andagain other themselves in a way
that they can signal to oneanother who they are Right.
And so when I think about this,it makes sense when you have
resources, you want to continueto have resources, you want to
grow access to those resources.
(13:05):
We've heard phrases, like youknow your network, is your net
worth, things like that?
But I also think especially inthe United States, because we
don't have traditional castesystems in the way that you
might in Europe or Asia orAfrica you know, there are other
(13:28):
places around the world.
The US is an experiment right,and you know, from its inception
you had DEI right when whitemen who weren't landowners were
allowed to vote, and that reallychanged the game in terms of
(13:48):
representation.
But within the United Statesthere is this perception that
the more money you have, webegin to attribute certain
character traits to peopleoutside of just how much money
they have.
We believe they are smarter,better looking, better people.
(14:14):
Generally right, you are goodbecause you are rich.
You have to be of goodcharacter because you are rich.
And I think about the way thatwe describe behaviors.
So at this particular point intime, we have a tech billionaire
who has a what is 14 childrenby five different women, and
(14:39):
when we describe those women wetalk about the mothers of his
children.
Karen McFarlane (14:43):
Right.
Brittany S. Hale (14:44):
And we when he is described.
Very often, if you ask a layperson, they will say he is a
genius, and when you ask themwhy?
Well, he has a billion dollars,right?
So he therefore must be very,very smart, and we don't
(15:05):
question having 14 children byfive different women.
We don't question those womenwho largely remain kind of
hidden there's only a few thatare in the public eye but we
certainly don't question hisdecision-making with having them
.
We just say, well, he's abillionaire, he can afford them,
(15:27):
and then we tap out However ifyour colleague told you they had
14 different children by fivedifferent women, what would your
response?
Karen McFarlane (15:46):
be.
I mean to be honest, right, Idon't care how many children you
have, as long as you're takingcare of them.
Brittany S. Hale (15:53):
I really don't .
Karen McFarlane (15:55):
Fair and that they're well-provided for the
mothers, cause I'm going toassume it's multiple.
Not one person can have 14,right, 14 by five.
They're taking care of them.
You know, maybe you think it'syour job to populate the earth,
but I need you to be focused onthem having good being, human
(16:16):
being, good humans.
My main concern, though, isthat I don't.
I don't know, being a mother ofone right, how you focus on 14
different children equally andin a way that is going to make
them well-rounded people.
I don't know how to do that.
Maybe other people have figuredthat out.
(16:38):
That would be my concern, but Ido understand that that
description, if applied tosomebody else, that description
if applied to somebody else,this person has five baby mamas.
He a baby daddy right, it'scompletely different.
Brittany S. Hale (17:00):
And even that phrase right Going from the
mother of his children to a babymama, immediately in your mind.
If you're listening, watching,you have a vision of what that
person looks like.
Karen McFarlane (17:10):
Karen, if.
Brittany S. Hale (17:10):
I came on here and I said, oh my gosh, I met
this guy.
He's really really great.
He's also really great withkids.
He has 14 of them and there arefive moms.
I'm going to put words in yourmouth, but I'm guessing that you
would say no.
Karen McFarlane (17:28):
Yeah, I would be alarmed for that question.
Okay, I'll be like are they allover 18?
Brittany S. Hale (17:41):
Okay, is there anyone else?
I think there would be a lot ofquestions right.
And so these are the momentswhere I think about wealth and
worth, because we couldinterchange and say, oh you know
, this tech billionaire has fivebaby mamas, but that's not how
(18:04):
he's described in the press.
That's not, you know.
There's a very markeddifference and I think that we
are perhaps unfairly, butdefinitely subconsciously,
attributing certain charactertraits based on wealth or
(18:27):
perceived wealth wealth, orperceived wealth, and in part,
it's because wealth helps youattain certain things, right.
Karen McFarlane (18:34):
So you know, a couple of things you talked
about is being smarter, lookingbetter, dressing nicer.
I mean, yeah, if you can afford, you know, high-end clothing to
wear every day out to thesupermarket, like wherever
you're going, then and you canafford your Botox or your hair
done or all those types ofthings that affords you a
(18:55):
certain level, a certain look,look, I would love to get my
makeup done every day.
Well, maybe not, but you knowwhat I mean.
Like I look totally differentwhen I have my full face of
makeup, right, likeprofessionally done, right?
If I had a stylist, you wouldsee me looking a completely
different way and maybe havedifferent perceptions about me,
right, and so that affords youthose things, but those are
(19:17):
technically masks around it.
If you can afford to pay yourfull ride for an Ivy League
education and then the benefitsthat come from those
associations, then it actuallyputs you in wealth, puts you
into a circle that you are outof or you know you don't have
(19:39):
the rules to the game.
That is technically America,right, there's, there's rules to
this stuff, and if you learnhow the one thing about America
to some degree, is, if you learnhow to play the game, you can
have your come up right.
Getting access to those rules isreally the issue, and then not
(20:01):
only getting access to the rules, access to the resources to
actually play to win is a realissue, and so a lot of those
things that we attribute arebecause people can buy them.
What you can't buy and goingback to the White Lotus example,
(20:22):
which is what I wish this womanmeant, I think is I don't know
if they're the right people, isI don't know if they're the
right people, meaning I don'tknow if they're good hearted
people.
Right?
That's really what you shouldcare about.
Right?
How are they?
They can live any way they wantto.
(20:45):
That's what anybody has a rightto do in America, but how does
that showcase itself to theworld?
I'm not saying they have togive away all their money for it
to be.
Oh, they're good people.
I'm not saying that, obviously,I would love them to Feel free
to share.
There's that phrase.
I think I'm getting it partright.
(21:06):
But money talks, wealthwhispers.
Brittany S. Hale (21:09):
I think I'm getting it part right.
Karen McFarlane (21:10):
But, like money talks, wealth whispers right
and so you see the rich people.
They wear their money veryvisibly and some of the richest
people that we see well, thereal wealthiest people we see
have no labels right.
They're unseen.
(21:34):
Some of the professions that wemostly attribute to wealth
right you know, may actuallymake less money than the plumber
next door.
Brittany S. Hale (21:45):
Exactly, exactly.
I mean, you know, back in theday, right to be an entertainer,
to be an actor, wasembarrassing, it was a mark of
not having one.
Or if someone from a wealthyfamily decided to be an actor,
(22:06):
for shame.
Karen McFarlane (22:07):
Yeah, yeah.
Brittany S. Hale (22:08):
Yeah, right.
So, going back to the RealHousewives of Beverly Hills,
when Sutton says I think mywallet, is right, is bigger than
Dorit, right, and there's a,really I thought it was
fascinating, because it'sreality TV, you know, and of
(22:32):
course they're not encouraged tobreak the fourth wall.
But when you have at leastthree cameras on you at all
times and you think about thefact that most of the people
watching don't have what youhave, mm-hmm, right, most of the
(22:54):
people watching Sutton, herwallet's bigger than theirs,
right?
And so then I just thoughtabout this to say, huh, I wonder
how people viewing this, whoare fans of Sutton, if any part
of them, felt stung or feltshocked or annoyed or surprised
by this reaction.
(23:15):
Or is it that this is my escapefrom my life and they're bought
in and they're all on her side?
What do you think?
I mean people who are on herside, all on her side.
Karen McFarlane (23:27):
What do you think I mean people who are on
her side are on her side.
I mean, here's the thing.
I mean what she said mightactually be the truth.
Her wallet is bigger than mine.
That's fact, right?
I can't get out of the fact,right?
I even made a comment earlierabout how she got her money.
As a matter of fact, I'm goingto play devil's advocate to
(23:50):
myself, right?
Which is like, because I saidthat she probably shouldn't even
be saying anything because ofhow she got her money from her
husband.
However, she was in thatmarriage, she did run the
household, raise the kids, andthat's something we talked about
on a previous episode, aboutwomen's in-home labor not being
(24:13):
no worth being put to that, theright amount of worth being put
to that, and so whatever shereceived is the value that she's
supposed to receive, based onthat agreement, for what she put
into that marriage.
So I'm taking my little snidecomment back because you know I
need to correct myself.
So, at the end of the day, youknow, I don't know if it's true
(24:37):
for Dorit maybe it is right sobut it's true for many people,
like you said, and how much shegot her money doesn't matter.
This just goes back to beingobnoxious about it.
That or money doesn't matter.
This just goes back to beingobnoxious about it, like are you
a good person about what youhave, right?
Because, let me, I'm justtalking about me.
This is, this is just a plugfor me, okay, like if I was a
(25:01):
lotto right I, if you won thelotto, are we still doing the
podcast?
We are still you.
No one will know I won thelottery.
Okay, Okay, you would notnothing.
Well, hold on.
My makeup might be better, butmost things are not going to
change for me.
(25:22):
You might.
I might say, hey, let's go on atrip to X, y and Z.
I got you right.
You will experience nice things, but you will never feel any
type of way about them, right?
You will never feel less thanbecause I have more than you,
(25:45):
right, because I'm also a giverhave more than you, right,
Because I'm also a giver.
So, unless you feel awkwardabout getting stuff, but I'll
try and make you not feel thatway.
So there's that.
I also have this dream ofpaying off people's mortgages
and stuff like that.
Yeah, because I believe homeownership is important.
But I would be more of thatwealth whispers person.
(26:06):
You won't see labels all overme.
I'll have a nice pocket bookshere and there, but you're not
going to see.
You know what I mean.
There might be little touches,if you know me.
So, yeah, that's kind of how Ifeel about it.
If the tables were turned atthis age in my life I'm not
saying at 25, I would have beenlike that, but at this age I'm
(26:32):
more chill about those types ofthings.
You know.
I'm not saying I'm rich oranything like that, but I know
that people didn't understandhow I moved Right.
Um, and you know there werecertain things that I that I
could do or did or little likethis is why I wouldn't change
(26:54):
that much Right, but that theywould be like she got money
Right, and that doesn't mean Idid, I just there's a, there's
just the way that I moved thethings that I chose to do Right,
to do that people prescribedsomething to me.
I wasn't broke, that was clear,but I just really just want to
(27:16):
be a good person at the end ofthe day.
That's just my take.
Brittany S. Hale (27:22):
And it sounds like being a good person through
your lens isn't dependent on it, doesn't depend on the wallet,
but it's when provided withthose resources, you're going to
use however you have.
Whatever you have, it's stillusing it to support others.
Karen McFarlane (27:44):
And I'm not going to throw it in your face
like Sutton threw that in herface.
So my issue is really with herattitude about it Rather than
having it.
Rather than having it, Becauseyou're allowed to have whatever
it is.
Of course, yep, do whatever youwant with it, right, but you
don't have the right to throw itin people's faces.
(28:07):
I think that's right.
That's my yeah yeah about you.
Brittany S. Hale (28:13):
I mean I I agree with that.
I think it's the behavior.
So you know I love to getreally into conflict and just
nitpick and so I'll deeplyanalyze.
But when I saw that I sawsomeone who was very prickly,
(28:34):
very defensive and went to whatshe perceives she being sudden
perceives as jared's weaknesswhich is her financial situation
.
I saw someone who felt againlike she was on the back step.
(28:56):
She needed to go on offense andsay something hurtful.
What I thought was even moreinteresting was Dorit's response
.
You know, typically there arepeople who would have gotten up
running from the table crying,screaming, whatever it was, and
that wasn't Sutton's response.
(29:16):
Sutton just said I mean Dorit'sresponse she just said, okay,
that was really low class.
Internally maybe she recoiled,but externally it just kind of
rolled off of her back and itseems like it bothered the rest
of the people at the table morethan Doreen.
(29:42):
In conflict, when you're facedwith that gap between what you
want and what you'reexperiencing, if you're
emotionally intelligent and Ithink Sutton varies in her
emotional intelligence there thesituational awareness would
have you take in to say is thishow I want to show up to people
(30:05):
who are my friends and some newpeople?
Right, there might've beenpeople there and she's not
familiar with.
Is this the impression that Iwant them to have of me and of
how I view my resources and howI view people with the lack of
resources?
And that to me was to yourpoint was the concern.
(30:26):
I think had she taken a beat,it wasn't worth it.
Karen McFarlane (30:33):
Well, that's why Erica said something, right,
because I mean, what Suttonprobably doesn't know I'm sure
she does not know it, no oneknows everyone's finances is you
have offended more than just toread at the table, right and so
to your point, right, like sheshould have just taken a beat
(30:55):
and just paused and been like,okay, this comment although I'm
mad at this person hasreverberating effects, and so
that's, I think, why Ericaresponded.
Well, no, she said this commentthat she said earlier, and
that's when Sutton said what shesaid.
But I'm sure at least Erica, atthe table at the minimum right,
(31:17):
felt some type of way aboutthat, right.
And when Dorit just saidnothing, that was pure cancerian
as far as I was concerned.
Yeah, there was no morefighting with this woman.
She is now complete.
She went so incredibly low, toa place where Dorit felt was the
(31:38):
lowest, that she could possiblygo Even.
You know, there's nothing as amatter of fact, if they were not
on this show, I'm convincedDorit would never speak to
Sutton again.
Yeah, that would be it.
Yeah, shut up.
Brittany S. Hale (31:53):
And, at least from what we've seen in the
coming episode, sutton is stillthe one who's bothered by Dorit
not speaking to her Mm-hmm, andso I thought that was a really
(32:16):
interesting twist in what sheher action, that she wanted to
kind of just reassert her power,what she believed her power to
be, which lies in her wallet.
It didn't have the intendedeffect, because she's still
seeking attention, approval, aconnection with this person that
she's just insulted.
Karen McFarlane (32:30):
Yeah, and I think it was also like a power
move on Dorit's part.
You know, in I'm not going touse the word resolving the
conflict, but just ending theconflict for her.
So you've gotten to a pointwhere, at least in this moment,
that you're not going to mend itbecause this person has gone to
a place where you are notwilling to go.
(32:52):
There's also probably I'm justgoing to add the cancerian part
in that she has more informationthat she could say she can go
lower, but she has made aconscious decision to stop
speaking because the next wordsout her mouth are going to be
pure vitriol.
Right, that's going to bereally hurtful.
I'm speculating based on herzodiac, but regardless, there's
(33:19):
no need to continue thatconversation.
I think that's an importantlesson sometimes in conflict.
Right, it's that you don't haveto resolve everything right
away in that moment.
Sometimes things need space, asmuch space as it needs, and so
you can come back on an evenplatform and talk through those
(33:42):
issues.
They were not there and also infront of the audience, where
people could.
Even just even having anaudience creates a different
dynamic, and then the element ofpeople chiming in and adding to
that creates another layer,although sometimes I feel in the
Real Housewives that but somedisagreements would be helped by
(34:09):
people providing perspective,truthful perspective, because
you have two people that haveseen something very differently.
Sometimes people are lyingRight, and then you can have
some relatively neutral thirdparties come in and reset what
was seen or what was said byboth right, and that kind of
(34:31):
happens in a very soft way.
But sometimes I think it needsto happen more directly and
that's what frustrates mesometimes about the Real
Housewives.
But again it's all about thedrum.
Brittany S. Hale (34:45):
I know.
I still think that they shouldjust give us a call.
Andy should just give us a calland say you're better equipped
to break this down.
We're happy to do it, andy,we're happy to do it.
Karen McFarlane (35:02):
You know, well, I'm sure the Real Housewives of
Beverly Hills, et cetera, etcetera, etc.
Because we have Atlanta, startjust starting.
So that's going to be veryspicy going forward.
You know, um, and you knowpeople in the world just give us
all sorts of things to talkabout, so we'll just keep doing
it.
I love it all right well, Iknow you'll be watching the next
(35:28):
episode with me, so absolutely.
Brittany S. Hale (35:33):
We'll keep you posted.
And again, folks, I understandit's a challenging time we are I
mean, I'm a millennial, so Ifeel like my whole life has just
been a series of unprecedentedtimes, but we have more.
I'm Zanex and I feel like everypiece of progress is gone out
(35:56):
the window consider it a act ofuseful rebellion to seek joy, to
laugh, to connect, in spite ormaybe because of everything
that's going on.
So I encourage you to do thesame totally.
Karen McFarlane (36:19):
I'm now like inspired by the meme that's
going around.
That's like that says the worldis falling apart, but black
people out here learning linedances.
Let's continue to have a littlefun in the middle of the chaos
(36:39):
absolutely.
Brittany S. Hale (36:40):
Oh, before we go, I just have a funny thing.
Yeah, I was in a homedepartment store and I had Nina
with me and she was like in myjacket, so you just see her
little head popping out, andthis guy stops me, and English
wasn't his first language.
I understood what he meant.
But he says you know what raceis your dog?
(37:02):
My first thought was man, youknow, race is on everybody's
mind.
And then my second thought wasman, you know race is on
everybody's mind.
And then my second thought waslike she's black.
Obviously, like what?
This is a black girl.
But um, he meant to say youknow what?
Karen McFarlane (37:22):
breed is she?
Brittany S. Hale (37:24):
but yes, the sheen, but yes.
My daughter?
Karen McFarlane (37:30):
Forget the breed business, she's Black.
How many names she got?
Is she a true Black dog?
Brittany S. Hale (37:37):
Yes, exactly, she has a ton of names.
She's Boo Boo, Beautiful Girl.
You know tons of them, Right?
Karen McFarlane (37:52):
I just look at her now because she had black.
If she's black black becauseshe's bougie black, but she's
black black, she would have.
Uh, nina asaka marie brown, oh,I haven't talked to you about
her middle name.
Brittany S. Hale (38:03):
You know she she does have a middle name, and
when I called the vet and theysaid what's her first about her
middle name?
She does have a middle name.
And when I called the vet theysaid what's her first name, her
last name?
And I said you're forgettingher middle name.
So yeah, she is a black female,we are all.
Karen McFarlane (38:18):
Americanized here Right, she is a black
female.
Brittany S. Hale (38:20):
All right.
Karen McFarlane (38:21):
Miss Mina Did we do okay, Mina, because you
woke up.
Brittany S. Hale (38:25):
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, yeah, she's like okay,I'm trying to go back to sleep.
Karen McFarlane (38:30):
Exactly Alright , until next time.
Until next time.
See ya, bye, nina.
Hi Brittany.
Karen McFarlane (00:05):
It's been a week.
It's been a week, you know,been a year of a week over here.
I know, I know, but you know, Ithink you know, every week we
talk about, you know, the dramathat's going on in the world.
I'm not saying that you know, Ilove the drama.
Well, I like drama, not thedrama that's been happening.
Let me just correct that.
Brittany S. Hale (00:23):
I like to observe it, not to be involved
you know.
Karen McFarlane (00:28):
But you know, maybe just have fun this week.
What do you think?
Brittany S. Hale (00:32):
I think so.
I think the energy's beenpretty heavy.
You know, there's power inseeking joy.
Yeah, even in the darkest ofplaces.
Karen McFarlane (00:44):
Yeah, exactly.
So let's have fun with thisweek.
Talk about different drama,different types of drama that's
happening in the world.
Brittany S. Hale (00:50):
Okay.
Karen McFarlane (00:54):
It might not all be that fun, but at least
it's just a different.
It's a different angle,absolutely Listen.
Brittany S. Hale (00:58):
As a pop culture connoisseur, can I tell
you there's been a lot going onand our executive producer, mina
, has been telling me there'sall sorts of things happening in
the zeitgeist that she's aboutto discuss.
Karen McFarlane (01:16):
All right, mina .
What's the first topic?
What's been going on?
Brittany S. Hale (01:21):
Well, she is a Housewives fan.
Uh-huh well, she is ahousewives fan, uh-huh, and
there's a lot, a lot going onwithin the housewives,
particularly around.
I'd like your opinion on wealthworthception, specifically as
(01:44):
it pertains to the realhousewives of Beverly Hills.
Karen McFarlane (01:48):
Hmm.
Brittany S. Hale (01:50):
Now these tend to at least they're perceived
as the wealthiest housewives,right, because they have these
palatial homes in Beverly Hills,california.
There's tons of space, there'sjewels and handbags and $7,000
(02:11):
toasters and all sorts of thingsand, as has kind of become
customary for housewives,there's at least one housewife
who seems to be going throughsome financial trouble, right,
or appears to be going throughsome financial trouble, while
(02:32):
also dealing with marital issues, perhaps dealing with marital
issues because of the financialtrouble.
Nevertheless, these women areinvited to a caftans and caviar
party.
If you're unfamiliar with whata caftan is, it's a big, long,
(02:55):
flowy fabric.
Karen McFarlane (02:58):
Looks quite breathable, quite comfy.
Yes, and I think Jennifer Tillysaid something like it covers
up well.
This is what it.
You know.
It covers up well.
I was what I say.
It covers up all the evils.
I don't think she used thatword, but that's what she meant.
It is an inclusive garment.
Brittany S. Hale (03:15):
Anyone can wear it right um.
And this is her baked potatoparty, where the baked potatoes
would be topped with the finestcaviar that one could buy.
Karen McFarlane (03:29):
Not the orange, because the orange caviar is
very cheap.
Brittany S. Hale (03:33):
Yeah, I believe that's the salmon roe.
Yes, that you can get at yourlocal sushi spot.
Karen McFarlane (03:39):
They made a very big point of pointing that
out for all of us on television,right big point of pointing
that out for all of us ontelevision, right?
Brittany S. Hale (03:51):
so we now have two housewives who are in
conflict, and conflict iscustomary on housewives is part
of why we watch, to see howpeople choose to engage in
conflict, how they respond, andyou know how people at least
attempt to resolve it Right,typically at the reunion before
the next season.
But in this situation you haveone woman, dorit, who is going
(04:16):
through a separation with herhusband, as well as financial
issues.
You have another woman, sutton,who is wealthy due to her
divorce from her husband.
She's a very generous alimonypackage, something to the effect
of 300 plus thousand dollars amonth.
(04:39):
I think that's more thangenerous like quite, I would not
have any complaints.
Karen McFarlane (04:46):
No.
Brittany S. Hale (04:46):
But they're arguing and another housewife
interjects, erica, who had herfair share of financial troubles
and you know her husband wasindicted for misuse of funds as
a personal injury attorney.
As a personal injury attorney.
But she says to her do youthink you're bigger than her
(05:08):
Speaking to Sutton about Dorit?
And Sutton responds I'm goingto have a conflict.
Karen McFarlane (05:14):
I'm going to have an ongoing conflict.
Brittany S. Hale (05:16):
Do you remember what Sutton says?
Karen McFarlane (05:19):
I think my wallet is I think my wallet is.
Brittany S. Hale (05:23):
What was your response?
How did you watching that inreal time?
What did you think?
Karen McFarlane (05:29):
I was dumbfounded that someone would
be as bold as to say that youknow, especially given where her
money came from.
I mean, it may be a fact, Ihave no idea what their
individual finances are, but Ithought it was a super low,
classless thing to say.
It was low to say to someonewho you know more intimately
(05:52):
than we, as the audience knows,about her issues financial but
also just relationship-wise,going through this like she's in
a very hurt and difficult place.
And then it was just classlessto say in general, especially at
a table with I don't know,maybe there's like 10, 12 women
(06:15):
there to do that.
I was dumbfounded and I foundit was just very mean but also
very telling of you know, toyour original question, like
what do you think worth means asan individual?
And apparently in Sutton's viewit is tied to your wallet.
Brittany S. Hale (06:37):
Absolutely, and this also, uh, this, this
jogged my memory Also, thisjogged my memory.
Do you watch?
Karen McFarlane (06:47):
White Lotus.
I haven't watched.
Brittany S. Hale (06:48):
It's on my list of ones to watch, we're
going to have to have anotherepisode.
It's fantastic, no spoilers.
But there is a character whocomes from a moneyed family.
Her husband's very wealthy andhe comes from generational
wealth, and they're invited ontoa yacht on vacation.
(07:09):
And it's a family and themother is very hesitant.
She says, well, we don't knowthese people, we don't even know
if they're decent.
And so her son says, well,they're rich, they have a yacht.
And she says, well, I don'tknow them, I don't know they're
(07:31):
rich and therefore we need tobypass any sort of further
inspection of them because weautomatically find them to be
worthy, whether it's of our timebuilding relationships,
(07:55):
whatever.
And so when this mom, she says,well, I don't know if they're
decent, meaning that she neededthem to be rich in a particular
way, she needed to know how theygot their money.
And so her son says, well, yougo to the country club all the
time.
And she goes well, that'sdifferent, because I know them
and they know me.
(08:16):
And so when she said that, Isaid okay, so it's not only just
making sure that she's kind ofchecking the car facts, checking
the wallet facts, right, tomake sure that these people have
not only money but the righttype of money.
But in that sentence I knowthem and they know me.
She needs to make sure that anyenvironment she puts herself in
(08:41):
, she will be perceived as aperson of high worth and she's
not willing to risk being in anenvironment where that worth
isn't recognized and respected.
Karen McFarlane (08:59):
I mean, in some ways I understand this point
right Well, one, historically,if we go back to many centuries
ago, right, like worth wasdetermined by you know how much
money you had, how much youcould, you know land you owned
and how many times.
We also can apply some of thoseand your time and your gifts
(09:21):
right In whatever way.
(09:55):
So in some ways I understandthe mentality around that.
It just gets amplified when youmove into these spaces, and
even new money versus old money,that's a whole other language
that one needs to learn and whythat matters in any meaningful
(10:21):
way.
I also feel like and this isfrom some of my own experiences
witnessing things right, likewhen you are around people with
like a lot of money, right,there's not a lot of people that
can relate to that, becausemost people are somewhere here.
(10:42):
There's very few people thatare up here at the top, and so
your lifestyle and yourlifestyle changes, your
environment changes, how youhave to roll changes right,
because you have to operate atthis higher level, and so there
becomes this distance that's insome ways unavoidable and the
(11:03):
conversations change, and so itkind of just perpetuates this
sentiment, right, and this um,this split between the haves and
the have nots.
Brittany S. Hale (11:17):
Absolutely, and you know there's.
We always signal that where weare, whether it is the type of
phone you have, clothing, howyou wear your hair, how you
(11:37):
travel, right Vague referencesto where you travel, how you
describe traveling Do you summerplaces or do you go on vacation
?
Right aspirational activity ofnaming your child and how, every
(11:57):
now and then, names, thepopularity of baby names will
shift, because there's alwaysthis effort from the have-nots
(12:22):
to try to clamber up in socialstatus by naming their child
something that they believe is amoneyed name, and that very
same effort by the haves todistinguish themselves by using
(12:43):
names that are distinct andagain other themselves in a way
that they can signal to oneanother who they are Right.
And so when I think about this,it makes sense when you have
resources, you want to continueto have resources, you want to
grow access to those resources.
(13:05):
We've heard phrases, like youknow your network, is your net
worth, things like that?
But I also think especially inthe United States, because we
don't have traditional castesystems in the way that you
might in Europe or Asia orAfrica you know, there are other
(13:28):
places around the world.
The US is an experiment right,and you know, from its inception
you had DEI right when whitemen who weren't landowners were
allowed to vote, and that reallychanged the game in terms of
(13:48):
representation.
But within the United Statesthere is this perception that
the more money you have, webegin to attribute certain
character traits to peopleoutside of just how much money
they have.
We believe they are smarter,better looking, better people.
(14:14):
Generally right, you are goodbecause you are rich.
You have to be of goodcharacter because you are rich.
And I think about the way thatwe describe behaviors.
So at this particular point intime, we have a tech billionaire
who has a what is 14 childrenby five different women, and
(14:39):
when we describe those women wetalk about the mothers of his
children.
Karen McFarlane (14:43):
Right.
Brittany S. Hale (14:44):
And we when he is described.
Very often, if you ask a layperson, they will say he is a
genius, and when you ask themwhy?
Well, he has a billion dollars,right?
So he therefore must be very,very smart, and we don't
(15:05):
question having 14 children byfive different women.
We don't question those womenwho largely remain kind of
hidden there's only a few thatare in the public eye but we
certainly don't question hisdecision-making with having them
.
We just say, well, he's abillionaire, he can afford them,
(15:27):
and then we tap out However ifyour colleague told you they had
14 different children by fivedifferent women, what would your
response?
Karen McFarlane (15:46):
be.
I mean to be honest, right, Idon't care how many children you
have, as long as you're takingcare of them.
Brittany S. Hale (15:53):
I really don't .
Karen McFarlane (15:55):
Fair and that they're well-provided for the
mothers, cause I'm going toassume it's multiple.
Not one person can have 14,right, 14 by five.
They're taking care of them.
You know, maybe you think it'syour job to populate the earth,
but I need you to be focused onthem having good being, human
(16:16):
being, good humans.
My main concern, though, isthat I don't.
I don't know, being a mother ofone right, how you focus on 14
different children equally andin a way that is going to make
them well-rounded people.
I don't know how to do that.
Maybe other people have figuredthat out.
(16:38):
That would be my concern, but Ido understand that that
description, if applied tosomebody else, that description
if applied to somebody else,this person has five baby mamas.
He a baby daddy right, it'scompletely different.
Brittany S. Hale (17:00):
And even that phrase right Going from the
mother of his children to a babymama, immediately in your mind.
If you're listening, watching,you have a vision of what that
person looks like.
Karen McFarlane (17:10):
Karen, if.
Brittany S. Hale (17:10):
I came on here and I said, oh my gosh, I met
this guy.
He's really really great.
He's also really great withkids.
He has 14 of them and there arefive moms.
I'm going to put words in yourmouth, but I'm guessing that you
would say no.
Karen McFarlane (17:28):
Yeah, I would be alarmed for that question.
Okay, I'll be like are they allover 18?
Brittany S. Hale (17:41):
Okay, is there anyone else?
I think there would be a lot ofquestions right.
And so these are the momentswhere I think about wealth and
worth, because we couldinterchange and say, oh you know
, this tech billionaire has fivebaby mamas, but that's not how
(18:04):
he's described in the press.
That's not, you know.
There's a very markeddifference and I think that we
are perhaps unfairly, butdefinitely subconsciously,
attributing certain charactertraits based on wealth or
(18:27):
perceived wealth wealth, orperceived wealth, and in part,
it's because wealth helps youattain certain things, right.
Karen McFarlane (18:34):
So you know, a couple of things you talked
about is being smarter, lookingbetter, dressing nicer.
I mean, yeah, if you can afford, you know, high-end clothing to
wear every day out to thesupermarket, like wherever
you're going, then and you canafford your Botox or your hair
done or all those types ofthings that affords you a
(18:55):
certain level, a certain look,look, I would love to get my
makeup done every day.
Well, maybe not, but you knowwhat I mean.
Like I look totally differentwhen I have my full face of
makeup, right, likeprofessionally done, right?
If I had a stylist, you wouldsee me looking a completely
different way and maybe havedifferent perceptions about me,
right, and so that affords youthose things, but those are
(19:17):
technically masks around it.
If you can afford to pay yourfull ride for an Ivy League
education and then the benefitsthat come from those
associations, then it actuallyputs you in wealth, puts you
into a circle that you are outof or you know you don't have
(19:39):
the rules to the game.
That is technically America,right, there's, there's rules to
this stuff, and if you learnhow the one thing about America
to some degree, is, if you learnhow to play the game, you can
have your come up right.
Getting access to those rules isreally the issue, and then not
(20:01):
only getting access to the rules, access to the resources to
actually play to win is a realissue, and so a lot of those
things that we attribute arebecause people can buy them.
What you can't buy and goingback to the White Lotus example,
(20:22):
which is what I wish this womanmeant, I think is I don't know
if they're the right people, isI don't know if they're the
right people, meaning I don'tknow if they're good hearted
people.
Right?
That's really what you shouldcare about.
Right?
How are they?
They can live any way they wantto.
(20:45):
That's what anybody has a rightto do in America, but how does
that showcase itself to theworld?
I'm not saying they have togive away all their money for it
to be.
Oh, they're good people.
I'm not saying that, obviously,I would love them to Feel free
to share.
There's that phrase.
I think I'm getting it partright.
(21:06):
But money talks, wealthwhispers.
Brittany S. Hale (21:09):
I think I'm getting it part right.
Karen McFarlane (21:10):
But, like money talks, wealth whispers right
and so you see the rich people.
They wear their money veryvisibly and some of the richest
people that we see well, thereal wealthiest people we see
have no labels right.
They're unseen.
(21:34):
Some of the professions that wemostly attribute to wealth
right you know, may actuallymake less money than the plumber
next door.
Brittany S. Hale (21:45):
Exactly, exactly.
I mean, you know, back in theday, right to be an entertainer,
to be an actor, wasembarrassing, it was a mark of
not having one.
Or if someone from a wealthyfamily decided to be an actor,
(22:06):
for shame.
Karen McFarlane (22:07):
Yeah, yeah.
Brittany S. Hale (22:08):
Yeah, right.
So, going back to the RealHousewives of Beverly Hills,
when Sutton says I think mywallet, is right, is bigger than
Dorit, right, and there's a,really I thought it was
fascinating, because it'sreality TV, you know, and of
(22:32):
course they're not encouraged tobreak the fourth wall.
But when you have at leastthree cameras on you at all
times and you think about thefact that most of the people
watching don't have what youhave, mm-hmm, right, most of the
(22:54):
people watching Sutton, herwallet's bigger than theirs,
right?
And so then I just thoughtabout this to say, huh, I wonder
how people viewing this, whoare fans of Sutton, if any part
of them, felt stung or feltshocked or annoyed or surprised
by this reaction.
(23:15):
Or is it that this is my escapefrom my life and they're bought
in and they're all on her side?
What do you think?
I mean people who are on herside, all on her side.
Karen McFarlane (23:27):
What do you think I mean people who are on
her side are on her side.
I mean, here's the thing.
I mean what she said mightactually be the truth.
Her wallet is bigger than mine.
That's fact, right?
I can't get out of the fact,right?
I even made a comment earlierabout how she got her money.
As a matter of fact, I'm goingto play devil's advocate to
(23:50):
myself, right?
Which is like, because I saidthat she probably shouldn't even
be saying anything because ofhow she got her money from her
husband.
However, she was in thatmarriage, she did run the
household, raise the kids, andthat's something we talked about
on a previous episode, aboutwomen's in-home labor not being
(24:13):
no worth being put to that, theright amount of worth being put
to that, and so whatever shereceived is the value that she's
supposed to receive, based onthat agreement, for what she put
into that marriage.
So I'm taking my little snidecomment back because you know I
need to correct myself.
So, at the end of the day, youknow, I don't know if it's true
(24:37):
for Dorit maybe it is right sobut it's true for many people,
like you said, and how much shegot her money doesn't matter.
This just goes back to beingobnoxious about it.
That or money doesn't matter.
This just goes back to beingobnoxious about it, like are you
a good person about what youhave, right?
Because, let me, I'm justtalking about me.
This is, this is just a plugfor me, okay, like if I was a
(25:01):
lotto right I, if you won thelotto, are we still doing the
podcast?
We are still you.
No one will know I won thelottery.
Okay, Okay, you would notnothing.
Well, hold on.
My makeup might be better, butmost things are not going to
change for me.
(25:22):
You might.
I might say, hey, let's go on atrip to X, y and Z.
I got you right.
You will experience nice things, but you will never feel any
type of way about them, right?
You will never feel less thanbecause I have more than you,
(25:45):
right, because I'm also a giverhave more than you, right,
Because I'm also a giver.
So, unless you feel awkwardabout getting stuff, but I'll
try and make you not feel thatway.
So there's that.
I also have this dream ofpaying off people's mortgages
and stuff like that.
Yeah, because I believe homeownership is important.
But I would be more of thatwealth whispers person.
(26:06):
You won't see labels all overme.
I'll have a nice pocket bookshere and there, but you're not
going to see.
You know what I mean.
There might be little touches,if you know me.
So, yeah, that's kind of how Ifeel about it.
If the tables were turned atthis age in my life I'm not
saying at 25, I would have beenlike that, but at this age I'm
(26:32):
more chill about those types ofthings.
You know.
I'm not saying I'm rich oranything like that, but I know
that people didn't understandhow I moved Right.
Um, and you know there werecertain things that I that I
could do or did or little likethis is why I wouldn't change
(26:54):
that much Right, but that theywould be like she got money
Right, and that doesn't mean Idid, I just there's a, there's
just the way that I moved thethings that I chose to do Right,
to do that people prescribedsomething to me.
I wasn't broke, that was clear,but I just really just want to
(27:16):
be a good person at the end ofthe day.
That's just my take.
Brittany S. Hale (27:22):
And it sounds like being a good person through
your lens isn't dependent on it, doesn't depend on the wallet,
but it's when provided withthose resources, you're going to
use however you have.
Whatever you have, it's stillusing it to support others.
Karen McFarlane (27:44):
And I'm not going to throw it in your face
like Sutton threw that in herface.
So my issue is really with herattitude about it Rather than
having it.
Rather than having it, Becauseyou're allowed to have whatever
it is.
Of course, yep, do whatever youwant with it, right, but you
don't have the right to throw itin people's faces.
(28:07):
I think that's right.
That's my yeah yeah about you.
Brittany S. Hale (28:13):
I mean I I agree with that.
I think it's the behavior.
So you know I love to getreally into conflict and just
nitpick and so I'll deeplyanalyze.
But when I saw that I sawsomeone who was very prickly,
(28:34):
very defensive and went to whatshe perceives she being sudden
perceives as jared's weaknesswhich is her financial situation
.
I saw someone who felt againlike she was on the back step.
(28:56):
She needed to go on offense andsay something hurtful.
What I thought was even moreinteresting was Dorit's response
.
You know, typically there arepeople who would have gotten up
running from the table crying,screaming, whatever it was, and
that wasn't Sutton's response.
(29:16):
Sutton just said I mean Dorit'sresponse she just said, okay,
that was really low class.
Internally maybe she recoiled,but externally it just kind of
rolled off of her back and itseems like it bothered the rest
of the people at the table morethan Doreen.
(29:42):
In conflict, when you're facedwith that gap between what you
want and what you'reexperiencing, if you're
emotionally intelligent and Ithink Sutton varies in her
emotional intelligence there thesituational awareness would
have you take in to say is thishow I want to show up to people
(30:05):
who are my friends and some newpeople?
Right, there might've beenpeople there and she's not
familiar with.
Is this the impression that Iwant them to have of me and of
how I view my resources and howI view people with the lack of
resources?
And that to me was to yourpoint was the concern.
(30:26):
I think had she taken a beat,it wasn't worth it.
Karen McFarlane (30:33):
Well, that's why Erica said something, right,
because I mean, what Suttonprobably doesn't know I'm sure
she does not know it, no oneknows everyone's finances is you
have offended more than just toread at the table, right and so
to your point, right, like sheshould have just taken a beat
(30:55):
and just paused and been like,okay, this comment although I'm
mad at this person hasreverberating effects, and so
that's, I think, why Ericaresponded.
Well, no, she said this commentthat she said earlier, and
that's when Sutton said what shesaid.
But I'm sure at least Erica, atthe table at the minimum right,
(31:17):
felt some type of way aboutthat, right.
And when Dorit just saidnothing, that was pure cancerian
as far as I was concerned.
Yeah, there was no morefighting with this woman.
She is now complete.
She went so incredibly low, toa place where Dorit felt was the
(31:38):
lowest, that she could possiblygo Even.
You know, there's nothing as amatter of fact, if they were not
on this show, I'm convincedDorit would never speak to
Sutton again.
Yeah, that would be it.
Yeah, shut up.
Brittany S. Hale (31:53):
And, at least from what we've seen in the
coming episode, sutton is stillthe one who's bothered by Dorit
not speaking to her Mm-hmm, andso I thought that was a really
(32:16):
interesting twist in what sheher action, that she wanted to
kind of just reassert her power,what she believed her power to
be, which lies in her wallet.
It didn't have the intendedeffect, because she's still
seeking attention, approval, aconnection with this person that
she's just insulted.
Karen McFarlane (32:30):
Yeah, and I think it was also like a power
move on Dorit's part.
You know, in I'm not going touse the word resolving the
conflict, but just ending theconflict for her.
So you've gotten to a pointwhere, at least in this moment,
that you're not going to mend itbecause this person has gone to
a place where you are notwilling to go.
(32:52):
There's also probably I'm justgoing to add the cancerian part
in that she has more informationthat she could say she can go
lower, but she has made aconscious decision to stop
speaking because the next wordsout her mouth are going to be
pure vitriol.
Right, that's going to bereally hurtful.
I'm speculating based on herzodiac, but regardless, there's
(33:19):
no need to continue thatconversation.
I think that's an importantlesson sometimes in conflict.
Right, it's that you don't haveto resolve everything right
away in that moment.
Sometimes things need space, asmuch space as it needs, and so
you can come back on an evenplatform and talk through those
(33:42):
issues.
They were not there and also infront of the audience, where
people could.
Even just even having anaudience creates a different
dynamic, and then the element ofpeople chiming in and adding to
that creates another layer,although sometimes I feel in the
Real Housewives that but somedisagreements would be helped by
(34:09):
people providing perspective,truthful perspective, because
you have two people that haveseen something very differently.
Sometimes people are lyingRight, and then you can have
some relatively neutral thirdparties come in and reset what
was seen or what was said byboth right, and that kind of
(34:31):
happens in a very soft way.
But sometimes I think it needsto happen more directly and
that's what frustrates mesometimes about the Real
Housewives.
But again it's all about thedrum.
Brittany S. Hale (34:45):
I know.
I still think that they shouldjust give us a call.
Andy should just give us a calland say you're better equipped
to break this down.
We're happy to do it, andy,we're happy to do it.
Karen McFarlane (35:02):
You know, well, I'm sure the Real Housewives of
Beverly Hills, et cetera, etcetera, etc.
Because we have Atlanta, startjust starting.
So that's going to be veryspicy going forward.
You know, um, and you knowpeople in the world just give us
all sorts of things to talkabout, so we'll just keep doing
it.
I love it all right well, Iknow you'll be watching the next
(35:28):
episode with me, so absolutely.
Brittany S. Hale (35:33):
We'll keep you posted.
And again, folks, I understandit's a challenging time we are I
mean, I'm a millennial, so Ifeel like my whole life has just
been a series of unprecedentedtimes, but we have more.
I'm Zanex and I feel like everypiece of progress is gone out
(35:56):
the window consider it a act ofuseful rebellion to seek joy, to
laugh, to connect, in spite ormaybe because of everything
that's going on.
So I encourage you to do thesame totally.
Karen McFarlane (36:19):
I'm now like inspired by the meme that's
going around.
That's like that says the worldis falling apart, but black
people out here learning linedances.
Let's continue to have a littlefun in the middle of the chaos
(36:39):
absolutely.
Brittany S. Hale (36:40):
Oh, before we go, I just have a funny thing.
Yeah, I was in a homedepartment store and I had Nina
with me and she was like in myjacket, so you just see her
little head popping out, andthis guy stops me, and English
wasn't his first language.
I understood what he meant.
But he says you know what raceis your dog?
(37:02):
My first thought was man, youknow, race is on everybody's
mind.
And then my second thought wasman, you know race is on
everybody's mind.
And then my second thought waslike she's black.
Obviously, like what?
This is a black girl.
But um, he meant to say youknow what?
Karen McFarlane (37:22):
breed is she?
Brittany S. Hale (37:24):
but yes, the sheen, but yes.
My daughter?
Karen McFarlane (37:30):
Forget the breed business, she's Black.
How many names she got?
Is she a true Black dog?
Brittany S. Hale (37:37):
Yes, exactly, she has a ton of names.
She's Boo Boo, Beautiful Girl.
You know tons of them, Right?
Karen McFarlane (37:52):
I just look at her now because she had black.
If she's black black becauseshe's bougie black, but she's
black black, she would have.
Uh, nina asaka marie brown, oh,I haven't talked to you about
her middle name.
Brittany S. Hale (38:03):
You know she she does have a middle name, and
when I called the vet and theysaid what's her first about her
middle name?
She does have a middle name.
And when I called the vet theysaid what's her first name, her
last name?
And I said you're forgettingher middle name.
So yeah, she is a black female,we are all.
Karen McFarlane (38:18):
Americanized here Right, she is a black
female.
Brittany S. Hale (38:20):
All right.
Karen McFarlane (38:21):
Miss Mina Did we do okay, Mina, because you
woke up.
Brittany S. Hale (38:25):
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, yeah, she's like okay,I'm trying to go back to sleep.
Karen McFarlane (38:30):
Exactly Alright , until next time.
Until next time.
See ya, bye, nina.
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