Zhenya Baghinyan | Wellness Routines, Self-Compassion, Motherhood | The Edit Alaverdyan Podcast #36 - The Edit Alaverdyan Podcast

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
If you're going to ask any person, they're going to
say that 24 hours is not enoughfor me.
But it's not true.
When you are really mindful ofwhatever you are doing, you see
that you have the whole 24 hoursa day.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
There's so many different levels of meditation.
People think that you have tosit there in a chair and just
close your eyes and breathe.
You can meditate while you'recleaning.
You can meditate while you'restanding.
You can meditate while you'respeaking to someone.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
Meditation's all around you If your husband, for
example, sees that you are happyjust by yourself, he's going to
do everything to make you happyas well.
But if they're going to seethat you don't love yourself,
you don't put yourself first,they're going to take advantage
of that.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
You will learn to motivate yourself by just
constantly seeing the result.
It just doesn't grow on a treelike that.
When they say, get motivated,get motivated, it's not easy
like that.
There's a big mental game tothat.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
Imagine if your friend is coming to you and is
saying to you that you know thisthing's happening in my life,
and what are you going to answer?
Are you going to tell them thatit's okay, this will pass?
You're a human.
You should have the sameself-compassion to yourself as
you have to your friends.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
Hello everyone, thank you for joining me today.
Today's episode I had on anamazing guest, three weeks
before her due date, a verypregnant and amazing Zhenya
Baginian.
She is the owner and creator ofWellness Routine.
We had on her because we wantedto talk about what routine is
about and how to maintain it,how to create it, and this goes

(01:37):
for men and women.
The conversation was so genuine, it was so smooth and beautiful
about how to maintain routine,your why, which she explains in
the podcast motherhood,fatherhood nutrition, and we
dived into a little bit of selfcare and how people in general
can put themselves first.
She has her own courses and Ireally wanted her to explain to

(02:00):
you her teachings, her findingsand her wisdom.
This episode was so rich, fullof nurture and information about
your wellness and what thatlooks like.
We did dive into talking abouta little bit of psychology and
also how sometimes, as men andwomen, it can be hard to leave
the cleaning that we do.

(02:20):
That eases our anxiety and howdifficult it can be to leave
that era and to nurture the truecleaning, which is the cleaning
of ourselves, the internal work.
So we dived really deep intothat and what that looks like,
meditation as well.
Overall, just a very rich andgenuine conversation with her.
Her presence are so calm andyou guys are really going to

(02:41):
love her and her presence andwhat she brings to the table.
You guys are really going tolove her and her presence and
what she brings to the table.
This is a podcast where youguys will be definitely hooked
on the TV because her presenceis so amazing.
She's also she came to the showpregnant, which I'm so grateful
for, and I think that's such amotivating and inspiring part of
her life, where she is almost amom of three, and we talked

(03:02):
about motherhood as well, andyou know what the science is
behind successful kids too,which was a really of three, and
we talked about motherhood aswell.
And you know what the scienceis behind successful kids too,
which was a really importantpiece.
So thank you for joining me.
Make sure you subscribe andenjoy this conversation with
Jenya, because she brings somuch amazing information about
your wellness and your routineto the table.
So get ready to learn from herand, of course, take notes.

(03:23):
Thank you guys so much forjoining me.
Zhenia, it's so nice to haveyou on.
Thank you so much for joiningme.
Thank you so much for having me.
Absolutely, I adore your work.
I think that you are definitelymaking such an impact in the
lives of a lot of people withyour energy, with your teaching,
with your wellness guidance,and I think it's such a
purposeful position to fulfillas a human being.

(03:45):
Can you tell us how this ideawas born?

Speaker 1 (03:50):
Yeah, first of all, I'm very excited to be here and
to talk about the topics whichare really close to my heart.
I'm very passionate aboutwellness, about the wellness
routine and habits, and Ibelieve that health both
physical and mental is thefoundation of everything we do.
That's why we all need tocreate a wellness routine and to

(04:12):
make it a habit for a lifetimeresult, and my path to wellness
started with my personal chronichealth issues and, after I
healed myself, I've decided thatI need to share my knowledge
and to help people to createtheir path to wellness, to help

(04:32):
them heal themselves and also tohelp them be the healthiest and
the best self-sufficer possible.

Speaker 2 (04:40):
Wow, that's beautiful .

Speaker 1 (04:55):
Do you feel comfortable sharing about your
experience with health?
What did you experience thatwoke you up a little bit?
It was always part of me, but,thanks to my mom, I always were
doing natural remedies, neverput any steroids on me or
anything, but all my life I wasconcentrating only on, you know,
knowledge, on the universityand everything.

(05:16):
I was never concentrating on myhealth.
But what happened after havingmy second baby?
It was the time when COVIDstarted, and then I was like
home with two small kids my sonwas one year old and four months
old and my daughter was bornand I stayed home, no work,
nothing.
Of course, it affected my mentalhealth as well and also my

(05:38):
physical health.
The symptoms that I was havingit was like I was always bloated
.
The symptoms that I was havingit was like I was always bloated
.
I already at that time, hadchronic diarrhea, chronic
constipation and mental health.
Everything were affected, youknow, and I decided that I one
day I remember that I just wokeup and decided that I need to

(06:01):
change something, I need tochange my life, that I need to
change something.
I need to change my life, and Ireally want to tell people that
we are just one decision awayfrom a totally different life.
And when you have chronicillness, it's not the end of the
world.
It's not up to doctors or up toanyone if you can stay like
that or just to take some pillsfor the rest of your life.

(06:24):
You can just make the decisionand change your life.
That's what I did, and Istarted with a therapy.
Really, that was my first step.
Yeah, how was that experience?

Speaker 2 (06:36):
for you.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
It was first time, actually, but it was really
beneficial for me because atthat time I really needed a
mental help.
Beneficial for me because atthat time I really needed a
mental help and therapy was thebeginning of everything and I
did about maybe six months andthen, yeah, good for you, you
didn't quit.
No, I didn't, because I wasreally consistent of that,

(07:00):
because I really knew thatthat's something that really is
helping me, because I wanted tobe a best mom for my kids, you
know, and I couldn't manage itall at that time.
That was something I reallyneeded, that I need to do that.
And then, after that, I decidedthat I need to do need to take

(07:21):
care of my physical health aswell.
And after going to the bestdoctors from UCLA, what I
discovered for myself, doinglots of research, that I should
be my own doctor.
Yes, yeah.
I should be my own doctor and Ishould start taking care of
myself.
But I didn't have any knowledgeabout that.

(07:43):
So I was really.
I'm an economist by my firstprofession.
I have a master's degree inbusiness management, so I really
was very far from medicine.
But I decided that I have tostudy that, yeah, and now I'm a
certified holistic health andwellness coach.
I've studied holistic nutritionat Institute of Integrative

(08:04):
Nutrition, which I've studiedholistic nutrition at Institute
of Integrative Nutrition, andthat all the information helped
me to start healing myself.
And I started to see thechanges already, you know, even
in the not in the end of theclasses, just from the beginning
.

Speaker 2 (08:23):
What did you experience?
So yes, I do understand theautoimmune.
And then, having given birthand not being physically at your
best health condition.
What do you think you wereexperiencing mentally when you
were not in that best healthposition?
What was going on with youmentally that you had a
psychotherapist position?

(08:44):
What was?

Speaker 1 (08:44):
going on with you mentally that you had to seek a
therapist.
You know I was not feelingmyself.
I would say that all my life Ihave been an overachiever, a
perfectionist, always liketrying to be my best, trying to
achieve something, and I used tothat lifestyle and staying home
with the kids.
I was feeling myself not enough, you know, and all that mental

(09:05):
health of course affected myphysical health as well.
And then after that it startedalready to become chronically
everything, Because everythingwas just, you know something.
You have pain here, you havepain there, and how we all think
that it's going to go away.
Everything is fine, no one ishealthy, but after not taking

(09:25):
care of myself for a while, it'salready was something chronic,
you know.
For me?

Speaker 2 (09:30):
Yeah, it does, and it's interesting that when we
don't take care of our physicalwell, first of all mental, how
it affects our physical.
And this is where we're goingto get into this routine that
you created.
This is the birth that you know.
I think that every wonderful,wonderful idea of a human being
is born from such a gnarlyexperience of life.

(09:52):
So tell us, why do you think,from a professional perspective,
routine is essential in ourlife?

Speaker 1 (10:00):
Wellness routine is the foundation of everything we
do.
It's really important for ourphysical health, for our mental
health and because of doingconsistently the wellness
practices, we can effectivelymanage all life's ups and downs.
We are building resiliencethrough that.

(10:22):
So, even though, if you are noteven sick you don't even have a
chronic illness it's veryimportant to start creating your
wellness routine to build thatresilience for yourself, for the
future, you know, and alsooverall.
It's very important and Iwanted to mention that the
wellness routine it's not onlyour physical health, it's
creating harmony within our mind, body and soul.

(10:44):
So, yeah, I truly believe inholistic health and I truly
believe that it's not only ourphysical health, it's not only
the movements, the nutritionthat we eat, the sleep routine
and everything.
It's also our mind, body andsoul, like everything connected
to each other.

Speaker 2 (11:01):
I love that.
Can you please explain to ushow the wellness is correlated
with our mind, body and soul?

Speaker 1 (11:08):
Yes, of course, as we know that our gut is connected
to our brain, right?
So whatever is happening in ourgut, it affects our brain and
vice versa.
And we know that 90% ofserotonin is in our gut, so
that's a huge amount.
And if anybody don't% ofserotonin is in our gut, so
that's a huge amount.
And if anybody don't know,serotonin is a feel-good

(11:31):
chemical that helps us toregulate our appetite, mood and
sleep.
So it's really important careof your gut.
If you are doing everything tohave a healthy gut, then you
have a higher serotonin levelsand you are doing yourself a
favor to have less anxiety, tohave less mood swings.

(11:54):
So, yeah, it's really importantand we have that connection
there, our gut to our brain.

Speaker 2 (12:00):
Yeah, how does that help the soul?
What do you think, what areyour opinions about that?

Speaker 1 (12:06):
You know, I think that health is not only about,
like I said, physical and mental.
Yes, we should take care of oursoul as well, because it's not
only whatever we are eating,what kind of physical exercises
we do.
It's about the relationshipthat we have in our life.

(12:27):
It's about the people that wesurround ourselves, the books
that we are reading, beingmindful of what we're watching,
how much time we spend on theinternet.
You know, everything isconnected and how thankful you
are in your life.
So, with all that, that's aspiritual practices that we all

(12:50):
should do.
It's not only because there,you know, at it, there are some
people that they eat healthy,they take care of their you know
mind, they do the regularphysical activity, but it's
still something is not rightwith them.
Right, something is not enough.
That's because they are notdoing the soul work.
Yeah, do you teach soul work?

(13:11):
I teach, like everything.
I want to say that I'm doingwellness workshops every month
and actually a wellness routineis.
I didn't say that I'm thecreator of the wellness routine
in the beginning.
It's okay, I would have said itfor you.
Yeah, and what is it?
It's a community.

(13:31):
It's a platform where I teachpeople holistic health and
wellness and make them livebalanced and fulfilling lives,
and started from April, I wasdoing wellness workshops every
month and I'm usually takinglike different topics each month
.
And what I'm doing I'm not onlyconcentrating on healthy

(13:52):
nutrition or, you know, physicalactivities and everything.
It's also everything together.
I'm teaching like how to beyour best possible self, and to
be your best possible self, youshould take care of your mind,
body and soul.

Speaker 2 (14:11):
Do you think that you have worked on yourself to the
level of feeling content withyourself that you're able to
teach?

Speaker 1 (14:20):
Yes, I do believe that.
Yes, I think if you think aboutif we are ready or not, we
never are ready.
That's another thing.
I would have been like thatbefore, because I'm a
perfectionist and I always thinkthat something is not enough.
I was always thinking like thatbasic, simple things people

(14:41):
don't know, I feel like I haveto teach them, because sometimes
you think that everybody knowsthat simple things and then you
realize that it's not like that.
So now I'm teaching whatever Iknow the best.
Of course, there is a lot ofthings I have to learn and I
want to dive deep into thatthat's a given for any human

(15:02):
yeah.
And I love all the learningprocess and I'm going to do that
, you know, till the end of mylife, but for now I feel like
there is a lot of things that Ican give people and they can
benefit from that.

Speaker 2 (15:15):
So, going back to routine, do you think that
routine is important?

Speaker 1 (15:20):
Routine is very important.
Routine is actually was had acrucial part of my healing
journey Without my routine,without my morning routine.
I want to mention the morningroutine especially because how
you start your day, it'sactually how your day goes right
.
So my morning routine made areally crucial part of my

(15:53):
healing journey because, withbeing with the two kids, always
being in a rush, not having timefor anything, I always put my
alarm.
I remember one hour before theywake up and I started all my
practices.
You know, whatever is good forme, for my mind, body and soul.
Like I said, I was doing themeditation, I was doing the
physical activity, Sometimes Iwas doing yoga at home,
Sometimes I was just walking inour neighborhood, just 15
minutes, I was journaling,reading a book, whatever I could

(16:15):
do within that hour, and thenmy whole day was changing.
But before, when I was juststarting my day in a rush, and
when your alarm rings and youdon't know where to start, where
to finish, at the end of theday you feel like your day went
by and you didn't notice.
Right, that's true.

(16:36):
Do you have a wellness routine,Edith I?

Speaker 2 (16:39):
have.
Oh my gosh, I, since the birthof my son, have not stopped what
I do on a daily basis, like Ilive off of my routine, and I
think it's one of the most keyfactors of I'm going to be a
little bit of a.
You know, when we tend tocompliment ourselves we get a

(17:02):
little uncomfortable of it, butI proudly say that I can proudly
announce that wherever I am inlife right now and that I'm so
proud of is because I was soconsistent with waking up at the
same time, going to sleep atthe same time and, in between,
doing everything at the sametime.

(17:23):
And without that there is noother way to success.
I mean to me when people say,what about motivation?
I think that motivation justdoesn't exist.
It just doesn't happen.
Motivation comes from seeingresults.
I agree with you.

(17:44):
If you do something very smallconsistently for three weeks and
you see the result of it, youwill gain the motivation.
You will learn to motivateyourself by just constantly
seeing the result.
It just doesn't grow on a treelike that.
When they say, get motivated,get motivated.
It's not easy like that.
There's a big mental game tothat.

(18:05):
So routine really helps withstamina, motivation.
It really does, and it can besomething so small like brushing
your teeth at 8 am in themorning for three weeks every
day.
Right, you know?
Yeah, so, but since you are so,I want you to teach us this.
Why is routine so important?

(18:27):
That's my first question.
Second question I want to diveinto what can we do, what can
people do to keep the routinegoing, because it's hard.
It's hard and people quit andgo back to their old habits.

Speaker 1 (18:44):
Right.

Speaker 2 (18:45):
So I think that's my main concern, Like there's a
certain amount of time thatresearch shows it takes to
really what do you call it?
Digest the routine system, Makeit a habit.
Make it a habit.

Speaker 1 (18:57):
They usually say it's about 30 days.
Yes, to make it a habit.
I have to disagree with that.
Yeah, it's so different.
Yeah, I think like every personis different and I wanted to
say that I agree with you thatit's really difficult to
maintain a routine.
It's not that it's easy andit's for everyone.

(19:18):
And I also agree with you thatyou don't have to hold on to the
motivation, because motivationcomes and goes.
I've felt that in my life, itcomes and goes, because
sometimes there are days that Ireally don't have a motivation
to do anything.
You want to just lie in yourbed and do nothing.
But then you remember your why.

(19:40):
And I want to start with thatbecause I always teach in my
wellness classes the exact steps, how to maintain the routine,
and I want to tell you aboutthat so the first thing yes, so
the first thing is to knowexactly your values and goals,
to know your why.
That's very important, like whyyou're doing the routine.

(20:03):
Why you're doing that why youwant to live a healthy and
fulfilling life.
You have to remember thatbecause on the days when you
don't have motivation, youremember your why, why I started
to do this in the beginning andwhy I have to continue it,
what's my values, what's mygoals, what's your big picture,

(20:24):
where you want to go.
And on those days you lean intothat.
You know You're not onlythinking about the short-term
benefits.
You see the big picture and yousee where you're going.
And on the days when you don'thave energy, don't have mood to
do something, to go for a walk,to do your physical movement or
to brush your teeth, like yousaid, like very simple thing,

(20:47):
you just remember why youstarted in the beginning and
what's your bigger picture,where you want to go.
That's the first thing.
And the second thing I want tosay that that are the small
steps.
Never underestimate the power ofsmall steps.
That's really important becausewhat I've discovered in my
classes people are saying, forexample, they wanted to work out

(21:10):
five times a week.
Right, and whenever they don'thave time, they just stop doing
it and they just wait for aperfect time to just do it.
But if you have time right now,just one time a week, then just
do one time a week and the restof the time just do minimal
things like five minutes a dayin your pajamas.

(21:31):
Just do any movement, a homeworkout or just walk in your
neighborhood 10 minutes, likewhatever you can do to be
consistent in your routine.
So the power of small steps isreally important, because we
always think we want to do this,we're going to do that and also
I think you will agree thatInstagram fools us.
You open the Instagram andeverybody's doing everything.

(21:54):
You see that wellness girlsright, and they're doing like
everything.
They have this perfect one-hourroutine and you think you
should maintain that, but youdon't know their situation,
their lifestyle, theirresponsibilities.
You don't know anything aboutthat.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
Oh, I come across that.
I come across that with a lotof moms that I work with and
it's really unfortunate thisview that they see and this
self-judgment that they takefrom that view and I always tell
them look, everybody has such adifferent lifestyle.
Some of the moms that I workwith, realistically speaking,
they're on their own, like theydon't have a lot of help, and

(22:33):
they have like three, fourchildren.
I genuinely mean that.
So I think that why that you'retalking about is so important,
because it can connect withthese mothers that have this
real, unrealistic expectationsof themselves by just viewing
other wellness women onInstagram and comparing
themselves.

(22:53):
I want to really quickly diveinto the why, because it is one
of the most important questionsin my consulting firm as well.
I think it's important for anyhuman being in any business to
know their why, any person toknow their why.
How do you help a mother or aman or a father, anyone who is
struggling with their why, like?

(23:13):
If they don't know their why,how can we help them discover?

Speaker 1 (23:17):
You know, I believe that every answer is within us.
It's not a therapist, it's nota health coach, it's not anybody
knows better than you.
Yes, so what I teach in my howI work with the clients I don't
give them information, becauseyou know, information now it is
everywhere, right, but peopleare still struggling.

(23:37):
So I help them with theirtransformation and I give them
the safe space where they canfind what's right for them and
to move from there when theyhave the safe space to talk and
to see what's going on with them, because sometimes, even when
we are at home, we are nothonest with ourselves, right?
We just need that safe space toopen up and to see, and I truly

(24:01):
believe that every answer iswithin us.
When you're going to dive deepinto yourself, you're going to
find the answers, and that's howI'm working.

Speaker 2 (24:10):
What answers do you usually get?
What are the whys of most womenand men?

Speaker 1 (24:16):
It's different.
It's, of course, different.
Yeah, for example, I would sayfor me how it was.
My why is to be my best selffor my kids.
That's my why, because I wantto be an example for them.
I want to not teach themsomething, but to show them.
And you see, I've readsomewhere that says that the

(24:38):
best education that you can giveyour children is working on
yourself and to be your bestself.
So that's what I'm thinking,and my big why is to be my best
self for my kids and to be anexample for them, and mostly for
mothers is like that, becausethey want to be the best for
their families, for their kids?

Speaker 2 (24:56):
Yeah, I think so too.
I think it's so important tomodel that behavior.

Speaker 1 (25:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:01):
You know, we can always tell, I think I mean,
look, we're close to the sameage.
But when I look back and Ithink about like moms in the
1980s in Armenia or any othercountry in the 1990s, I rarely
see them take care of themselves.

(25:21):
Even now I don't think that itwas such a priority, you know.

Speaker 1 (25:29):
So we, essentially we- grew up not watching that.
Yes, that's why we didn't takecare of ourselves as well.
That's why I came to that whenI had like two kids and stayed
at home, it was always aboutthem, because my mom is still
making everything about me andmy brother.
So they are doing everythingfor the kids and not taking care
of themselves.
But now it's different.

(25:51):
Now, in this modern world, it'snot only bad things happening.
The good thing is thateverybody's watching to each
other and seeing that theyshould take care of themselves,
you know, and to be a role modelfor their kids, because kids
catch, you know they to be arole model for their kids.
Because kids catch, you know,they just catch whatever they
see.
Even though you're going totell them like a thousand times

(26:12):
something, if they're going to,for example, read a book, if
they don't see you reading abook, they're not going to read
a book.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
Yeah, exactly, it's always about modeling that
behavior.
So what you're saying is thatyou can still want to take care
of your kids but, at the sametime, model that behavior of
taking care of yourself, so thatyou can be a better example.

Speaker 1 (26:34):
Yes, of course you are not being selfish doing that
.
That's what we are thinking.
I was thinking the same thingin the beginning.
Yes, I was thinking that I'mselfish that I'm making regular
breakfast for me and I don'thave time to do this or that.
But then you realize that ifyou're not going to be your best
self especially when women havechronic illnesses then you have

(26:57):
to take care of yourself,because I wasn't my best at all.
There were days where I wasjust laying in bed and couldn't
do anything, you know.
So at that time I wasremembering those bad days and
not seeing already so selfishdoing some things for myself.
Everything started from there.
To put myself first.

(27:17):
It's really something.
Maybe we listen a lot.
To take care of yourself.
The self-care is very important.
Put yourself first.
But honestly, when you do thatand you feel that, you'll see
the difference.

Speaker 2 (27:34):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely so.
Tell us how people can developroutine.
There's a lot of men and womenwatching right now that don't
know where to begin and how toform a routine.

Speaker 1 (27:43):
Yeah.
So first of all, I said to knowyour values and goals, to start
with the why, the why, and thenthe second was the small steps.
The third one is to create aplan.
You should have an exact planhow you should implement that
into your daily life.
For example, if you want to dothat in the morning, in the
evening or during your day, youshould have an exact plan how to

(28:04):
do that.
To create that in the morning,in the evening or during your
day, you should have an exactplan how to do that.
To create that plan.
Then it's very important totrack your progress at the end
of each week.
That's very important becausewhat people usually do, when
they fail at some point someday,they just stop doing it.

(28:26):
That's another reason thatpeople are not developing
consistent routines, becausethey just don't see the results.
And when you track yourprogress at the end of each week
and you see where you were andwhere you are now and you
celebrate your small wins,that's another thing which is

(28:50):
very important in creatingroutines to have it for a
lifetime, you know, not for ashort term.
Another important thing I wouldmention to be flexible.
For example, there could bedays that you don't have time to
do that.
You are usually doing, let'sjust say, one hour routine,
right, but that day your kid issick.

(29:10):
If you are a mom, if you are aman, for example, you have this
work deadline that you should doand you can't follow your
regular routine.
That's okay.
You just do five to 10 minutes.
So being flexible to thesituations, whatever is going on
in your life, it's also reallyimportant.
So you can just take it a day,you know it's okay.

Speaker 2 (29:33):
Yeah, I feel like routine also can be very
addicting, like it becomes sucha habit where you don't.
And this is, I think, one ofthe parts where I wanted to dive
into, because, being somebodywho is all about the routines, I
find myself sometimes saying tomyself oh my God, like I didn't
do this.
And I know that that balance isokay, but what advice would you

(29:57):
give the people that do formthis routine and don't have time
for that?
So you're saying, be flexible,but it could be very anxiety
provoking for some people.
What?
are your thoughts on that.
I mean from a personalexperience too.

Speaker 1 (30:09):
Yeah, you know from a personal experience, just don't
be hard on yourself.
Yeah, yeah, Self-compassion.
I would say the next step isself-compassion, to have that
self-compassion for yourself.
Just don't be hard on yourselfand don't think that everything
that's happening in your lifeit's your fault.
You know everything can happenand you just like imagine if

(30:30):
your friend is coming to you andis saying you that you know
this thing's happening in mylife and what you're going to
answer?
You're going to tell them thatit's okay, this will pass.
You're a human.
You should have the sameself-compassion to yourself as
you have to your friend, becausewhat we usually do we are
compassionate to everyone elsebut not to ourselves we
self-judge right, we think thateverything is our fault and if

(30:53):
we are failing at something,then that's the end of the world
.
But it's not.

Speaker 2 (30:58):
Yeah, I think one thing I would love to have
people really take away fromthis podcast is to understand
that this whole routine, thewellness routine, is all about
really self-care and reallyputting yourself for and really
just nurturing yourself.
Yeah, because amongst all thesethings that women and men have
to do like men have to be theproviders women are the

(31:20):
nurturers taking care of thehouse, baking bread, this that
it just it just it gets.
The routine gets lost sometimes.
When do you ever find the timeto really do these things for
yourself?
Because it just it gets so lostsometimes and I have so much
empathy for women who have thisquestion.

Speaker 1 (31:40):
I don't know I get this question asked a lot you
know, I want to say in myexample, for example, before
pregnancy I had like a differentroutine Really, and after that
I'm just taking everything easy.
You know you should just like Isaid it's again the same thing,
we're coming to the same thingto be flexible and when you slow

(32:03):
down in life you just bemindful of whatever you're doing
and you're not always in a rush.
That's, you know, a lot of mindwork.
It's not just one day work thatpeople can do.
It's I came like it's been likea couple of years already since
I'm working on every detail ofmy life that I have this slow
life right now.
I'm not rushing anywhere, evenwhen your house is not clean,

(32:25):
you're not rushing.
You know that's a problem of allmoms.
I love a clean house, I know.

Speaker 2 (32:31):
I know, but why I wanted to bring this up is
because I know the men and womenwatching this particularly the
wives of men.
They're going to be like myhouse is so like I don't.
I think that that's such anessential part of the lives of
women right now.
It's that clean house.
They'll drop brushing theirteeth, they'll drop eating the

(32:51):
breakfast, just to have thatclean home.
That's.
That's a that's a level ofanxiety.

Speaker 1 (32:55):
No, you know what.
What's my routine is the firstthing I'm taking care of myself,
the first thing when I wakingup, I have my hour.
If it's an hour or 30 minutesor five minutes, I'm doing
something first, or a couple ofhours, right yeah?
First for me, something for me.

Speaker 2 (33:15):
What do you do for yourself?

Speaker 1 (33:15):
What's your routine?
Like my routine, like beforepregnancy, like I said, it's
like, yeah, now it's like I'mwaking up before the kids, I'm
doing my meditation.
I see that on your stories.
Yeah, I meditate.
It's not like every day.
I want to say that One day I'mnot doing it, I'm not feeling
guilty of not doing it and I'mnot feeling anxiety of not doing
the meditation.
If one day I can do themeditation for example, kids

(33:38):
walk up before me I would justgo for a walk when everybody is
there.
I would just go for a walk wheneverybody is there.
I would just go for a walk for15 minutes.
Or I can do anything.
You know, I can make a greenjuice for me and drink it.
You know something to nurtureeither my mind, my body or my
soul, anything.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
It's not always everything together, you know so
even if you have sorry to cutyou off.
It's so much sugar as we say inArmenian when you have all
these things and I want this tobe very clear because I want
people to hear this Even if youhave so many things to do at
home, you still say, no, I'm notgoing to do whatever I have to

(34:18):
do in the house, I'm moreimportant.
I'm going to make my greenjuice, I'm going to take my deep
breaths.
I come first, not my house.
Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 1 (34:26):
That's absolutely important for you.
Absolutely important.

Speaker 2 (34:28):
How did you get to that level of that acceptance.

Speaker 1 (34:31):
Because I already saw , when I'm not doing it, what
kind of person I'm becoming.

Speaker 2 (34:35):
And what kind of a person.

Speaker 1 (34:36):
Do you think you're becoming, With anxiety, more
nervous, yelling at kids?
You?
Know, sometimes Not havingpatience with them, not liking
myself, you know, and then therest of the day I can't
concentrate on anything, or justthe day is going so fast, you
just don't notice it.

Speaker 2 (34:56):
Yeah, you become a really unhappy, miserable person
, right?

Speaker 1 (35:00):
Yeah, and I did that too and I saw myself what kind
of person I'm becoming and Idon't like myself that way, you
know.

Speaker 2 (35:09):
It's understandable, yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:11):
And when you see that and when you are conscious, and
when you see that you reallydon't want to be that person and
you want to be your best self.
I already learned that lessonfor me that for me to be my best
self, I have to do somethingfor me, even a small thing in
the beginning of the day for me,that for me to be in my best
self, I have to do something forme, even a small thing in the
beginning of the day for me,just for me.
And then after that, of course,I clean the house, because if

(35:33):
my house is a mess, I canconcentrate on doing anything.
So that comes after I clean thehouse.
But also if, for example, oneday I don't have time to do the
dishes, I can leave it for thenext day.
How do you live with that?

Speaker 2 (35:49):
How do you live with?
Just leaving the dishes Verygood, comfortable, you know.

Speaker 1 (35:53):
I want to say that was the thing that helped me to
get rid of my perfectionism.
Yes, yes.

Speaker 2 (36:02):
How does it do it?
The?

Speaker 1 (36:03):
dishes, because before it was not like that.
Yes, exactly the dishes.
Because before it was not likethat.
Even 12 am in the evening, Iwould clean the dishes and then
go back to bed, tired, notreading a book for my kids, not
having time for them not doingthe evening routine for them
because the dishes were moreimportant for me at that time.

Speaker 2 (36:20):
But, Jenny, at that we smile about it because we
worked on it.
We're at that stage where Idon't care I could leave the
house dirty for three days, aslong as my kids and I and my
husband are important, butthere's so many moms who are in
this situation.
That's why I think that it's soimportant to bring this up,
because, yeah, look at that,it's relatable content.
We were those women thatcleaned everything and went to

(36:40):
bed dirty, just so.
Yeah, everything is tidy up.

Speaker 1 (36:45):
Yeah, I did, and I was more nervous when I was like
doing everything.
I was so tired I couldn't eventalk to my husband, couldn't
read a book for my kids, so Iwas a different person.
But everything was super clean.
So now I know my house is liketidy, I really like a tidy house

(37:06):
, but the dishes it's the onething that I'm really doing.
The dishes can wait.
It's not like mandatory for meto do it.
I'm trying to do it every day,especially when I have time.
Of course, it's not that I'mintentionally putting it away,
but there are days.

Speaker 2 (37:20):
You prioritize?

Speaker 1 (37:21):
There are days when we go out, for example with the
kids, and I come back home inthe evening and I don't have
time to do the dishes.
I would rather do the nighttimeroutine for my kids, read a
book for them, talk to themabout their day, then do the
dishes.
But before my priority was thedishes.

Speaker 2 (37:40):
You know other than doing all that.
Let me ask this, and I don'tknow if you would agree with
this, but from a therapeuticstandpoint, I think that
sometimes women and men canfocus on exterior activities,
like the motive of the housebeing clean because it's much

(38:01):
more easier to clean up what'sin front of you versus what's
inside.
Yeah, that's what I've learnedfrom my experience.
It's so much easier to cleanwipe this, wipe that and it's so
hard to really dive in andclean and wipe whatever.
Yeah, because it's a lot of workand sometimes we're not even
conscious of it.

(38:22):
So of course women have theseand men have these OCD
tendencies.
Not even a diagnosis, butspeaking from a cleaning
perspective, Of course women andmen are going to put the focus
on cleaning everything, becauseit's so much easier to clean
objects versus what's reallykilling you on the inside.

Speaker 1 (38:40):
I never thought about it, but I agree with you.

Speaker 2 (38:43):
You see what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (38:44):
It's like you're putting a band-aid, you know,
and you're not taking care ofyourself.
So yeah, you're right, I agreewith you.

Speaker 2 (38:52):
It's so easy Like, look, we don't have a clean
house.
You go in an hour, boom, vacuumthis.
That it's easy, but the workthat you have to do on yourself
takes months and sometimes years.

Speaker 1 (39:03):
Yeah, it took me months and years to come to this
, because even people who knowme, they knew me very emotional
person.
I'm really emotional, but now Ican control my emotions.
I can control my emotions, Ican control whatever I talk, you
know, because I have that peaceinside of me and that peace

(39:24):
doesn't just came like, doesn'tjust come like overnight, it
just really.
It's a hard work that you dofor yourself and you're right,
it's not just an easy clean home.
You're just taking care ofyourself and you are putting a
lot of time for you?

Speaker 2 (39:40):
Yeah, absolutely, and this is why, when we talk about
routine and falling fromroutine and going back to old
habits because it's so mucheasier to clean what you see
versus what you feel yeah, yeah,I agree with you.
You know, and these anxieties,the depression, the miserable

(40:00):
lives that people are living,it's not easy living and feeling
those things.
So it's like let me cleaneverything else.
It'll give me a temporaryrelief for like a day or 24
hours, but then you're back tofeeling crappy again.
So not a lot of people arewilling to work on themselves,
which is so unfortunate, becauseI think everybody's such a
beautiful flower in their ownway yes, they are, and because

(40:22):
they don't want to look to thereality.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (40:27):
They don't want to look to the reality.

Speaker 2 (40:28):
Yeah, they don't want to look to the reality.

Speaker 1 (40:29):
It's hard.
It's hard because sometimesit's really painful.

Speaker 2 (40:31):
You would agree.

Speaker 1 (40:32):
I think you would have a lot of patients right, oh
yeah, they don't want to lookto the reality because it's
really painful for them.
But when you do that deep workand then after, the life becomes
so much beautiful so mucheasier.
Life is really very easy.
We make it very difficulthonestly it's really easy now

(40:55):
what I see.
Like there are days like before,how I was, how I used to be, I
always were looking to dosomething fun in order to feel
that happiness.
You know, to have that dopamine, you know.
But whenever, for example, oneweekend, we didn't do anything
fun, it was already a moodchange for me.

(41:15):
I didn't feel good about that.
But then, after doing the innerwork, you realize that
happiness is within you, withinyourself.
It's not somewhere else, it'snot in some external things,
it's just within you and it'svery simple.
You can just be at home, justwatch a movie with your family,

(41:37):
cook a nutritious food for themand feel that happiness.
You don't need anything, youdon't need any material things.
You don't need any, you knowexpensive things in your life in
order to feel that.

Speaker 2 (41:50):
Yeah, I think that society just you know, I had on
a sergeant yesterday and we weretalking about how everything
just changed so much.
Social media just completelywashed away the hearts of all
women.
It's so competitive now,everyone is competing against
each other and it's not even ahealthy competition.

(42:11):
You know, it's toxic, it's verytoxic and it took away a lot of
happiness.
And before being a stay, areyou a stay-at-home mom, by the
way?

Speaker 1 (42:19):
No.

Speaker 2 (42:20):
I think well, I mean, you're a mom, it doesn't matter
, Either way you go home and youhave to be a mom.
But before, like, being a momwas such a graceful position for
a woman to possess, but nowit's frowned upon because we
have to fit in the norm.

Speaker 1 (42:37):
Because now what you're seeing Instagram, right,
the moms who have three kids,who are a successful
businesswoman, who are doingeverything, taking care of
themselves, always in fit, youknow, and you think that their
life is so much easier thanyours and you don't have time to
do all this.
You know what I was thinking atit when I stayed home with my

(42:59):
two kids and I was just astay-at-home mom, how you said I
was feeling the same thing thatI'm not enough.
Yeah, I was thinking that I'mnot enough.
Yeah, I was thinking that I'mnot enough.
I'm doing that.
Being mother is not enough.
But now, after doing all thiswork, it's the most important.
It's my, it's the greatesttitle of my life.
To be a mom Other than being ahealth coach or to have these

(43:22):
degrees, to have that orwhatever career I would achieve
in the future, being motherwould be my greatest role, yeah,
the biggest career.
And now I understand that.
But before it was not enoughfor me, because I was always
used to achieve something,because that's how my parents
taught me.
You know to do something, youknow to achieve something.

(43:44):
And then, after I realized thatthat's enough, that's more than
enough, because that's thehardest job in the world.
It is, it is.

Speaker 2 (43:52):
I'm a stay-at-home mom from Sunday to Thursday.
I work Fridays and Saturdaysand I'll tell you it is so hard,
it's harder than to workoutside, right.
I mean my kids are beating me.
It's so tough.
It's harder than to workoutside, right?
I mean my kids are beating me,it's so tough.
They're very good kids.
It's not because they'respoiled or anything, but it's

(44:14):
just hard.

Speaker 1 (44:15):
How old are?

Speaker 2 (44:15):
they.
Nazany just turned one.
Well, she's 16 months.
So, yeah, may, she turned oneand Noy is 11.
And it's tough.
They told me that the age gapwould be easier because Noe is
older.
But no, like, he has his own,he has studying, he has tests,
he has homework, he hasactivities.

(44:35):
I have to.
You know it's a lot, so I don'tknow.
I think I praise all moms, butmoms have such a dear place in
my heart where that's why Ialways want to have a guest to
teach them something, even dads,but particularly moms, because
my audience majority are moms.
But I always want to teach themsomething, something to help

(44:56):
them to this wellness.

Speaker 1 (44:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (44:58):
And if it's routine that we can get them to do,
let's get them to do it, yeah.

Speaker 1 (45:03):
And being consistent in the routine.
That's very important.
Yeah, it's something themothers would take from this
conversation to put themselvesfirst.
Maybe they've heard that a lot,but that's really important.
When you put yourself first,you're being an example for your
kid.
For example, if you have adaughter, right when your
daughter will grow up and youwill see her doing the same

(45:25):
thing that you're doing now,would you be happy?
You should ask that question toyourself, or what kind of woman
you want to see your daughterto grow up to be?
Of course you want to see herhappy, to live in a fulfilling
and balanced life, not to justtake care of the kids and the
family, and that kind of motheryou should be now for your kids

(45:49):
to be that example forthemselves.
And when they see a happy mom,really when you are living a
fulfilling, unbalanced life, thekids are thriving.
Honestly, I've seen that in mykids.

Speaker 2 (46:02):
Yeah, you know, I was reading a gosh.
I forgot, and I know people aregoing to ask me for the article
.
I'll try to find it and post it.
I was reading, gosh, I forgot,and I know people are going to
ask me for the article.
I'll try to find it and post it, I promise.
But I was reading that the mostsuccessful kids come from guess
where.
What do you think?
Happy moms?

(46:22):
The mother's smile?
Yeah, I would guess.
Yeah.
Like what contributes to achild's success is the smile of
the mother's smile.
Yeah, I would guess.
Yeah.
Like what contributes to achild's success is the smile of
the mother, the size of thesmile of the mother.

Speaker 1 (46:35):
I think that's such a good foundation and that all
depends how much time you'rededicating to yourself, how much
self-care you're doing, whatkind of routine you have.
That's all very important.
And also one more thing I wantto suggest to moms as well to
always ask for help.
We all especially, you know,armenian moms we want to do
everything by ourselves.
I was, I'm still that kind ofmom, but I know where I need

(47:00):
help and I can ask for help inthat case.
But always ask for help If it'sa friend, if it's your mother,
if it's a specialist, atherapist, a coach.
Always ask for help, becauseit's not a sign of weakness,
it's a sign of strength.
When you ask for help, it is,it's the hardest.
If I wouldn't ask for help acouple of years ago, I wouldn't

(47:24):
be here living this fulfillingand balanced life ago.
I wouldn't be here living thisfulfilling, unbalanced life.
You know it's very important tomake that decision to yourself
and to ask for help whenever youfeel like you need that.

Speaker 2 (47:35):
I think one of the things that I've learned during
my lifetime is three mostdifficult words I'm sorry, I
love you and I need help.

Speaker 1 (47:44):
That's very powerful.

Speaker 2 (47:47):
Yeah, how difficult it is to ask for help.
It's difficult, oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (47:51):
Especially when you you know how we grew up in
Armenia always to do everythingon your own.
That's how my mom told us.
You know to do everything onyour own.

Speaker 2 (48:02):
Because they did everything on their own.
Yes, you know so we kind ofpicked that up and we learned
that that's it, that's the way,but it's like no.

Speaker 1 (48:11):
And even if you are in a worse situation, you never
ask for help, right?
You feel like it's your.
You should do everything onyourself.
You don't even ask for helpsometimes to your husband, right
?
A lot of women are like that,but it's okay to do everything
together.
It's okay to ask your mom or afriend or a professional for
help, because you can't doeverything on your own that the

(48:35):
mother should understand that aswell.

Speaker 2 (48:37):
I think husbands also need to understand that as well
, because it's very when, whenthere's this obscene amount of
expectation on women, it's sohard.
I think women when we weretalking about the success of the
kids, which is the smile of themother.
The husband also has a part ofthat.
He contributes to that smile.
So I think women also are inthis position of unfortunately.

(49:00):
It's heartbreaking to say, butthere's so many women in
different cultures that are notreally happy in marriages and I
know this, this you know takingcare of themselves no matter how
much you preach, no matter howmuch I preach, it's going to be
so hard for them to reachbecause of this really unhappy
place.
And it's so unfortunate andit's so hard to encourage women

(49:21):
to really take care ofthemselves when the only thing
they see is if my husband'shappy and good.
I'll be happy and good.

Speaker 1 (49:30):
Yeah, that's a wrong mentality.

Speaker 2 (49:33):
It is the wrong mentality, even the relationship
.

Speaker 1 (49:35):
right, it's hard work .
I want to say it's really hardwork.
You have to work on everything.
If I see in my life I work oneverything, I work in my
relationship with my husband.
I work with the relationshipwith my kids, with my mother,
with my life, like I work oneverything.
I work in my relationship withmy husband, I work with the
relationship with my kids, withmy mother, with my friends, with
the community that I've createdand I'm serving my community.

(49:55):
And everything is a hard work,Like nothing comes easy.
When you see a happily marriedcouple, you think that they just
happy like that.
No, it's really a hard work.
You intentionally create thejoyful days for you too, right?
You create a date night or youcreate a space where you can
talk together.
And everything comes from adecision.

(50:20):
That's what I want to say.
If you're going to wake up oneday and make a decision to
change your life, to create yourlife how you want it to be, it
can be like that.
If you believe in that, it'sreally going to happen, because
everything starts from our minds.
It's really true.
Our mind is very powerful.
If you're going to believe thatyou're going to have that

(50:41):
fulfilling and happy life,you're going to manifest that
into your life.

Speaker 2 (50:46):
Do you believe in manifestation?
Yes.
Have you manifested anything inyour lifetime?

Speaker 1 (50:51):
Yes, I'm still constantly manifesting yeah, did
you manifest this podcast.

Speaker 2 (50:56):
You said you did last time.

Speaker 1 (51:00):
Unconsciously.

Speaker 2 (51:01):
Maybe unconsciously because the first time I met you
, you're like, oh, am I ready?
I'm like, of course, yes, see,the conversation's going so
wonderful.
Yeah, and I'm so glad you'rehere.
So tell me about thismanifestation, what really led
you to believe in it?
Because some people think it'smagic of some sort, but I think

(51:23):
it's one of the most importantskills that a person needs to
learn.

Speaker 1 (51:26):
It's not magic.
First of all you have to.
The meditation helps with that.
Yeah, of course, when you arealready trusting your intuition,
where you're regularlymeditating, it helps with that.
And the manifesting is like youknow, it's just so simple.
It's just seeing the bigpicture is like you know, it's
just so simple, it's just seeingthe big picture where you want

(51:48):
to go.
But then the most importantpart of manifesting is to let it
go to surrendering.
After manifesting, you shouldsurrender and to give it to the
universe, to the God, whateveryou name it, and to trust that
everything will happen on itsown.
You're not just manifesting andthink every day that this is

(52:08):
going to happen, you know, orwhen this is going to happen.
You just surrender and just letit go.
That's the secret ingredient inthe manifestation yeah.
Do you believe in God?
Yes, of course I do.
I do, and some people you knowthink if you are meditating, you
don't believe in God.

Speaker 2 (52:29):
Have you heard that?
Yeah, it's a bad.
It's against Christianity.
Yoga they say yoga is a sin.

Speaker 1 (52:37):
You know, nowadays.
I don't believe in that becauseI believe in God, I believe in
God's plan.
I always pray, every day beforebed, believe in God, I believe
in God's plan.
I always pray every day beforebed, but that doesn't go against
to do meditation in the morning, because meditation is first,
for me, is a breath work, andbreath work is regulating our

(52:59):
nervous system.
If you want to, I can tell youone more thing about the
wellness routine.
Like the two most importantthings that you should take care
of yourself, that is, your gutand your nervous system.
So for nervous system, you haveto do a nervous system
regulation techniques.
So what are those techniques?
You do yoga, you do meditation,you do journaling, you do a lot

(53:22):
of things which can regulateyour nervous system.
So for me, meditation first ofall is a breath work.
It's just a breath work whenyou don't think about anything
and you're just breathing, andthat helps with your anxiety,
with your mood swings, witheverything.
You have a better sleep, bettermood and less anxiety.

(53:43):
So yeah, so it doesn't goagainst each other.
That's what I think it's veryimportant.

Speaker 2 (53:50):
Yeah, I like I am a deep believer in meditation.
Yeah, you do, Absolutely, andyou believe in God.
I absolutely believe in God.
But there's something here thatI wanted to share that there's
so many different levels ofmeditation.
People think that you have tosit there in a chair and just

(54:10):
close your eyes and breathe.
You can meditate while you'recleaning.
You can meditate while you'restanding.
You can meditate while you'respeaking to someone.
Everything.
Meditation's all around you.
It doesn't necessarily.
I don't want to scare people tothink that that's the only
level of meditation.
You can meditate however fitsLike I remember when I first
started meditating about I wouldsay like 10 years ago I would

(54:34):
look at a rose and I wouldbecause I found it's a good
technique.
It's a very good and I foundthis technique from a book I
read called the Monk who SoldHis Ferrari.
Have you read that book?
No, I haven't.
So that book is, and mypersonal experience is the
reason why I do what I do today.
But I have so many notes inthat book and one of the monks

(54:58):
in the book teaches the attorneywho's you know.
The story is all about thisreally famous attorney who just
women, cars, just flashy life inNew York, just drops everything
and goes to Tibet and becomes amonk, and it's his story of why
that happened to him and why hegot there.

(55:19):
But the story was teaching youhow you can just stare in a rose
and look at the petals and justfocus on each petal with your
breath, and it's fascinating howit's teaching you not to think
of anything.
Of course you are concentratingon one thing, one thing, and
that technique I still haveevery.
I mean I have fresh flowers inmy house all the time.

(55:42):
Particularly in my bedroomthere's a rose.
And when I'm in a funky place, Itake the rose and I sit on the
floor and I just look.
I don't close my eyes oranything.
I just stare in the petals andit is such a liberating, calming
feeling.

Speaker 1 (55:57):
You know, it's just that silence, that solitude.
It's special, it's very special.
Yes, that's one thing we shoulddo in our daily life as well,
in the mornings, especially tohave that calm, peaceful energy
which will go throughout the day, to just find that moment of
stillness, that moment ofsolitude, and just be with

(56:19):
ourselves, because at thatmoment you are just with
yourself, right, and that's soimportant you just don don't
listen.
Sometimes you don't even needto listen any music or any
podcast.
You know anything there iswalking meditation as well.
You just walk and you noticeevery single thing around you,
every flower, every leaf of thetree, every noise, and not to

(56:42):
listen to any music or anypodcast, anything.
You just be with all thataround you.
And I know that you bakesourdough bread as well.
Right, I do too, so that'sanother type of meditation.
When you do that that's socalming, so peaceful.
So I think you should not havejust one thing which keep you.

(57:03):
You know, in your presentmoment you should have a lot of
things during the day.
I think women meditate.
That's right, it's a form ofmeditation.

Speaker 2 (57:12):
I think women are meditating.
They don't even know it.
Yeah, when I was doing mypracticum hours in therapy
school, I worked in an eatingdisorder unit it's called
Reasons and I finished my 3,000hours there and I was working in
the inpatient department, whichis the most crucial.
It's very difficult.
So I was a therapist there andI led group classes of like 25,

(57:34):
30, sometimes 40 men, women,kids.
That's your goal, right, whenyou're working with human beings
that are under a hundred pounds, your goal is to keep them
alive and to have them eat andnot be afraid of food.
So I was like, let me pick anorange and since I love

(57:57):
meditating with a rose, let mehelp my clients, the ones that
are assigned to me during group.
Let's meditate with an orange.
And guess what we did?
It's pure silence.
We started peeling the orangeand we just started talking
about where this orange camefrom where it traveled from.
So that took their mind off thefear of eating that orange?

(58:17):
Of course, yeah.
And then we cut the orange withour hands, okay, we put it and
smell it right and then smell it.
It's mindfulness, it's mindfultechnique.
Yeah, some people got triggeredby the smell of the orange,
some people didn't.
But then we put the orange inour mouth and then we bite the
orange and then the watersplashed into your mouth and we
would talk about the watersplashing and how many months it

(58:39):
took for this orange to grow.
So that is a deep level ofmeditation that you're teaching
people.

Speaker 1 (58:46):
That's a beautiful mindfulness practice.

Speaker 2 (58:48):
It is and it's so simple.
But the whole idea, I think Ithink essentially where I don't
know if you agree, but wherewomen can start is just really
noticing the items they have intheir house.
Yes, it's very important.

Speaker 1 (59:03):
As you told that.
I remember that in my previousworkshop, the theme was mindful
and healthy eating and what Idid?
I brought fruits and each oneshould pick one fruit and then
bite it, smell it, feel it andwrite down about that.
There was a beautifulmindfulness practice that we did

(59:23):
and then to draw how that fruitcame like, who was the farmer,
like where it came from, and Iwas like teaching that that, in
order to start, you know eatingmindfully, to not eat
emotionally or fast andeverything, you should just take

(59:44):
it really slow and to feel thesmell, to feel the taste and
everything.
So, yeah, that's, that's abeautiful mindfulness practice
as well.

Speaker 2 (59:52):
I think so too.
I think that it's veryimportant to be aware, to be
present.

Speaker 1 (59:56):
You know not to do everything in a rush.

Speaker 2 (59:58):
Yeah, also one other thing that I was do you know
Tucker Carlson?
Do you watch Tucker Carlson?
He's an amazing reporter but hehad on a doctor.
She was talking about how sheshops at farmer's market every
Sunday, prepares her food, butshe praise.
She praise her on her food andhow she gives these food a good

(01:00:19):
energy, how this food is goingto go into her system it's going
to create all these new cellsand heal all unhealed cells and
how nurturing this food is goingto be.
I mean, I was just fascinated.
Like where did we stop?
Like we're not mindful ofanything anymore.
We just shove the food down ourthroats, chew quickly, eat
quickly and just go and do thedishes.
And then this we're not mindfulof any of these beautiful

(01:00:42):
moments anywhere, something sosimple to live as eating
provides.
We're not even mindful of thatanymore.
That's just so sad to me.
That's today's society.
It's not just in California,it's everywhere in the world
except our, grandparents, exceptour grandparents.
I don't have any grandparentsanymore, but I remember they did

(01:01:05):
a phenomenal job.
Being just present, my grandmawould take about 45 minutes to
eat Xenia.
I'm not kidding you.
Everybody would be out of that,I swear on anything.

Speaker 1 (01:01:16):
I bet she has the best digestion she has the best.

Speaker 2 (01:01:19):
She would chew her food.
That's so important.
This woman, my mom's mom, shewould.
Everybody would be done.
Even if it's like a party eventand we would be sitting there
for hours, she would still notbe finished with her food.
She would.
You know she had like a littlepot out in her hand with the
honey and the butter in thishand she would be eating other

(01:01:41):
things.
Very slow eater, but probablythe most mindful eaters.
I was fascinated with thiswoman and the way she ate.

Speaker 1 (01:01:49):
But what we were thought, edith, that to do
everything quickly.
Yeah, we were like hurry up,hurry up and her kids were like
what you know.

Speaker 2 (01:01:56):
But I think as time grew on, as she got older, they
learned to leave her alone.
But she was just so mindful inanything this woman did.
She was knitting, she was.
That's a form of meditation youknow as we call it, the EMDR
therapy.
Right, it's rapid eye movement,it's a form of therapy when you
knit.
So she was just so mindful inanything she did and I'm like

(01:02:24):
this is their generation.
What happened?
It's just like changeddrastically where we're rushing
like crazy, mad women all thetime.

Speaker 1 (01:02:29):
Yes, because the time is never enough for anybody, if
you can listen right.
Yes, it is enough.
But if you're going to ask anyperson, they're going to say
that 24 hours is not enough forme.
But it's not true.
That's not true.
When you slow down, when youare really mindful of whatever
you are doing, you see that youhave the whole 24 hours a day,
not just a 24 hours.

(01:02:51):
So it's about your intention,how you see things.
And you mentioned that thewoman should see the small
things in the room, right.
So that's another beautifulpractice of mindfulness to be
present to notice the smallthings.
Another thing I would suggestthe gratitude practice.
Oh, one of the most things.
And other thing I would suggestthe gratitude practice.

Speaker 2 (01:03:09):
Oh, one of the most healing things in the world.

Speaker 1 (01:03:11):
One of the most healing.
I was the one who had that inme.
It's by nature.
But if you don't have that, ifyou don't say the good things,
you always compare yourself withothers and if it's, you know
something great is not happeningin your life, then you think
something is missing and youdon't feel happy.
I would suggest to do thegratitude practice like every

(01:03:34):
day for some period of time, atthe time when you already when
it's become a habit already foryourself and how to do that
Either to do that in the morningeither to do that in the
evening, just to write downthree simple things that you are
grateful for that day.
And when you have thatquestions in front of you, you

(01:03:56):
start thinking right, of courseyou do what happened today, even
if something great didn'thappen.
For example, you just had avery tasty meal in the morning,
or your kid just came to you andkissed you and said how much he
loved you.
Or you just walked in yourneighborhood and saw a beautiful

(01:04:16):
flower, something very simple.
And you are starting to noticein those things.
When you have those questionsin front of you, you already ask
yourself every day and that wayyou're starting noticing the
small things.
That's another practice, becausepeople hear a lot of things
right Now.
Information is everywhere theycan listen.

(01:04:37):
Okay, you should be gratefulthis, this or that, but there
are really practicalintervention, practical
exercises that you should doevery day.
That's a work.
You should work on those thingsevery day to maintain that.

Speaker 2 (01:04:51):
Yeah, that's the routine.
That's the routine.

Speaker 1 (01:04:53):
We again come to routine.
Because if you are notconsistent, if you don't have
that in your life, then you'regoing to do one thing one day
and that's it, and it's notgoing to change your life.
You're going to live the samelife that you were living before
.
But if you want to change yourlife, change the quality of your
life, you should start doingthe work.

(01:05:15):
That's a lot of work, becausepeople sometimes see a woman who
is like in this peace, in thisliving this happy life.
They think that it's happeningovernight or they just got lucky
.
But honestly, I want women tosee those women as a woman who
did a lot of work, because thereis no woman or a man who just

(01:05:38):
had all that overnight.
They did a lot of work and Iwant them to not be lazy and to
do the work, because only inthat case they're going to see
the results and they're going tochange the quality of their
life.

Speaker 2 (01:05:51):
Exactly.
Yeah, to see the result.
Yeah, absolutely.
And I absolutely adore what yousaid in the beginning because
it ties up the routine, and Ican't put my finger on it now
because it was so important Iwanted to bring it up.
I think you said oh, here it is.
I think you said let all menand women think about who they

(01:06:15):
are when they don't nurturethemselves early in the morning,
what they become.
What kind of a person are youwhen you don't have your
breakfast and when you don'thave your coffee and you're
immediately rushing to get thisdone, that clean, that clean
this kid there, that kid thereyou know who are you becoming.

Speaker 1 (01:06:31):
Who are you becoming?
Yeah, who are you becoming?
It's not, it's.
It's about that.
It's not about what you aredoing at this moment.
Who are you becoming?
To see the big picture, where,where you see yourself, what
kind of man or what kind ofwoman you see yourself in the
future, and to work on thatevery day.
To be that person, to becomethat person?

(01:06:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:06:52):
Do you also believe that if you want to become a
certain person, you also have toact like?

Speaker 1 (01:06:59):
Yes, I do believe in that Act like that right, I
remember that I always….

Speaker 2 (01:07:02):
It's a form of meditation too.

Speaker 1 (01:07:04):
Yes, it's like manifesting too, it's like a
form of manifestation.
Yes, it is I remember that I wasthinking about this life, that
I'm not working in the office.
I just have this free schedulewhere I can take care of my kids
, I can do the job that I reallylove to do, which will be my
purpose, and because nowadays,when I'm working every day, I

(01:07:26):
don't feel like working, becauseI'm following my purpose.
You know, I'm just doingwhatever I like to do.
It's not that I'm forcingsomething myself.
So that's one more.
One another thing important andyeah, I remember that I was
seeing that big picture, seeingme being the healthiest person.
Be healthy, be patient with mykids, because when you are tired

(01:07:49):
I want to say when you aretired, when you are doing all
these things and you don't doanything for yourself, you can't
be the best mom, you can't orbest person in general, or the
best person, for your mother,for your friend, for your best
wife, for your husband, Like ingeneral.
Like you said, you can't be thatyou should do something for

(01:08:09):
yourself, Even if that's what Iwant to say.
You don't have time, for somereason, in the morning to do
that.
Just find some momentsthroughout the day to be with
yourself, Just you and you.
I think so too.
And to listen with yourselfjust you and you.
I think so too.
And to listen to yourself, likewhat are your thoughts?

Speaker 2 (01:08:28):
Any person needs to do that, right yeah any person.

Speaker 1 (01:08:31):
Everybody needs to do that.
That's a very important thingto just be with yourself, to
find that moment of stillnessand to just like five minutes
just to sit with you and notalways to rush to on your to-do
list and to check mark thethings that you have to do.
I used to be that person youknow who always I still have
to-do list, but it's, you know,it's the to-do list that I

(01:08:54):
already um know in my mind thatwhat I should do, but it's not
mandatory.
You know, I just right now Ileave like go with the flow.

Speaker 2 (01:09:05):
That's the easiest way and that is the that I want
to.
I want to for the people thatare watching, that are that are
probably thinking okay, I wantto learn, I want to.
How do I?
I want to make this clear and,jenny, I you can.
You can disagree or agree thatto get to that level of not
having those check marks checkedout is okay.

(01:09:28):
Yes, because when you didn'tcheck all those check marks in
between, you had time to drinkyour green juice, to meditate,
you had time to take a shower,you had time to do you.
So I want people to genuinelyunderstand that, to not care
that you didn't do your dishesthat night and to be okay with

(01:09:49):
it.
It's going to take work.
Yes, it's not it's.
I promise to everyone.
It's not an overnight thing.
People think that you're thatway.
It's because it just happened,but you were in therapy for how
long?

Speaker 1 (01:10:03):
for six months in there and then after that as I
work myself.
There you go so years and I'mnot saying it's going to be like
this for everybody.

Speaker 2 (01:10:13):
But just for anyone watching know that it is going
to take some time for you to beat the level when there is, uh,
you know dirty clothes and youjust don't want to pick it up
when you go sleep.
You'll sleep contentfully.
It's going to take time for youto get there.

Speaker 1 (01:10:28):
Yes, it is, and I wanted to say that there is a
magic pill, that they're goingto happen with everybody
overnight.
But it's not.
It's hard, it's not easy.
I don't want people to bedisappointed very quickly and by
doing all those steps that Itold them like to celebrate

(01:10:49):
their small wins, to haveself-compassion to themselves,
to ask for help if they needthat help, to have that big
picture in front of them always,like they can do a vision board
for themselves.
They can put in front of themevery day where they are going,
when you have that picture, theycan put in front of them every
day where they are going, whenyou have that picture, big
picture, in front of you, youdon't give up Because, like you

(01:11:11):
said in the beginning,motivation is nothing.
Motivation comes and goes.
Discipline, discipline whathelps us.
You should have that disciplineand doing something consistently
will eventually make a habit,right your routine will be a
habit and one day you will lookback and see that you are doing

(01:11:32):
things not even thinking aboutit.
It's not already taking a lotof time on your mind to okay, I
have to meditate, For example, Iwoke up.
You just do that because that'sa habit already.

Speaker 2 (01:11:44):
Like you, brush your teeth right.

Speaker 1 (01:11:46):
It's a habit.
You just brush your teeth anddoing the other things that you
do for after a while.
I would say it's not 30 days,it's about six months.
It took me about six months tomake my routine a habit already,
which I already can do likejust close my eyes.

Speaker 2 (01:12:04):
Yeah, 100%.
Yes, I don't think that it's 30days, I think it's a little bit
more than that.
And going back to thediscipline, I want to say that
I've I've also looked intodiscipline so hard and studied
it so hard, because that'sthat's part of my work and I've
discovered that discipline, thetrue definition, is how much you
truly love yourself.

(01:12:24):
That's one thing I can sayabout discipline.
It's like how much do yougenuinely love and respect
yourself?
If it's not much, thendiscipline is going to be not
for you.
But if you think that youdeserve at least 80%, then
you're definitely going to havea good time with discipline.

(01:12:44):
It's really about how much youlove yourself.

Speaker 1 (01:12:46):
And it's very important to love yourself first
and to put yourself first.
And you would agree that a lotof women are not like that, and
when they see a woman who lovesthemselves, they think that, oh,
that woman is selfish, she justloves herself.

Speaker 2 (01:13:01):
Well, they don't understand the meaning behind it
.

Speaker 1 (01:13:03):
Think they're taking it from a different perspective
yes, yes, I agree, you know, butevery woman should love herself
first, like everybody, not onlywomen, men as well, no, no, no,
absolutely.

Speaker 2 (01:13:13):
And then and then they.
I think that a lot ofrelationships fail because women
have these unrealisticexpectations of women or men to
make them happy.
Of course, like I don't want toput that on my husband, it's
not his job, to make them happy,of course, like.
I don't want to put that on myhusband.
It's not his job to make mehappy.

Speaker 1 (01:13:29):
Yes, I agree.

Speaker 2 (01:13:29):
You know it's our job to do good in the relationship
and to grow with each other.
But why would I put thatresponsibility on a person If
I'm not?
If I can't make myself happy ifI'm not happy, why throw that
responsibility on someone else?
That's not fair.
Yes, and also.

Speaker 1 (01:13:45):
I would add that if your husband, for example, sees
that you are happy just byyourself, he's going to do
everything to make you happy aswell.

Speaker 2 (01:13:53):
Everything to double that.

Speaker 1 (01:13:55):
But if they're going to see that you don't love
yourself, you don't put yourselffirst.
They're going to take advantageof that.

Speaker 2 (01:14:01):
Yes, even the most honest men and people everywhere
too, they're going to takeadvantage of that.
Yes, even the most honest menand people everywhere too.

Speaker 1 (01:14:03):
Even the most honest men, I agree.
So they should see that youlove yourself, that you put
yourself first, and they'regoing to give you more love and
you know, everything will doubleup with that.

Speaker 2 (01:14:15):
Yeah, your mother-in-law needs to know that
you love yourself.
Your sister-in-laws need toknow that you love yourself.
Your husband needs to.
Your need to know that you loveyourself.
Your husband needs to.
Your parents need to.
Everybody will feel the lack oflove you have for yourself
because you'll be walking aroundwith nasty, miserable energy.
Women and men need to do workon themselves for sure.

Speaker 1 (01:14:34):
There's no other way, but sometimes they don't think
that it comes from there, right,when you see, with the positive
energy, I don't know what theythink, but they think it's like
easy, okay, everything maybe isgood in your life.
That's why you have thispositive energy.
But I could have like the mostdifficult days in my life, but I
still give a positive energy topeople because it's not their

(01:14:57):
fault.
It's not their fault, you know,but that's coming from growth.
Yeah, that's coming from growth.

Speaker 2 (01:15:02):
You know, if you're not fully like conscious and
have a little bit of wisdom,you're going to take it out on
people, like most women do andmen do.

Speaker 1 (01:15:09):
And most people do it now for example they do.
Yes, I see that and after doingthe work with yourself, I think
you would agree that everyperson becomes so like you see
everyone how they are right,yeah to their best potential you
see everyone how they are right.
Yeah, to their best potential.
You see, like, from differentperspectives already there, who
they can be and who they are.
Yeah, I always like when I lookat the person, I always see

(01:15:34):
what they can achieve like whothey can be and if they do the
work.

Speaker 2 (01:15:40):
Oh yeah.
Yeah, you see the potentialpeople have and it's very
unfortunate they're not able toreach that potential, but
everybody has that potential forsure.
Everybody has that so toconclude, you're saying that
this routine is formed, but alsoto maintain it it takes work.
It's like every day you need towork on it, it's an everyday

(01:16:01):
work.

Speaker 1 (01:16:02):
Yes, it's an everyday work, and I want to say that
self-care is not only just doingsomething weekly, monthly, it's
everyday work, every day.
You should do that consistently, be really responsible for that
and, yeah, so you can make it ahabit, it's an everyday work.

Speaker 2 (01:16:24):
It is an everyday job and I want people to see that
it it a habit, it's an everydaywork.

Speaker 1 (01:16:25):
It is an everyday job and I want people to see that
it's not easy, it's difficult,but if you want to be your best,
your healthiest self and youwant to live a fulfilling and
balanced life, you should do thework.

Speaker 2 (01:16:36):
Yeah, and I'll add to that Self-care isn't always and
only your hair and your nails.
Yes, that is such amisconception happening in
social media right now and Iwant to make that clear that
when people say self-care, it'snot do your makeup and your hair
and fix your nails and buy niceclothes.

(01:16:56):
It's much deeper than that.
Those things are not going togive you the genuine comfort and
the love for yourself.
Those things are instantgratification.
They're going to make you feelgood, maybe about 24 hours, but
the next day you're going to goback to feeling like your old
self, empty.
Self-care needs to come fromnurture, nurturing your inner

(01:17:17):
world, taking care of that innerlittle boy, inner little girl,
and that's a lot of work.
When you do those things,everything else will flow so
naturally.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, I agree, little girl, andthat's a lot of work.
When you do those things,everything else will flow so
naturally.
You know what I mean, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:17:28):
I agree with you, and it takes a lot of our time and
effort to do those things, to goto do your nails to your lashes
, your brows, and when I stoppeddoing all those things I really
realized how much time I havenow.

Speaker 2 (01:17:43):
Oh my God, minimalistic right Living, that
minimal life I'm living aminimalistic life.

Speaker 1 (01:17:47):
I 100% agree, and now I see how much time I have.
For example, when people say Idon't have time to read books
when they work, they think theywork.
Okay, they don't have time toread books, but they do have
time to do the nails, to do thelashes, to do this or that
Scroll on the phone for hours.

Speaker 2 (01:18:01):
The average person is away from their phone for seven
minutes only.
That's just research.
Oh my God, just seven minutes.

Speaker 1 (01:18:09):
That's why I even control that.
I even controlled how much timeI have, you know, because I'm a
creator.
People may think that I'malways on the phone, I'm
creating the content, but no,that's not true.
I can just post something on mystories, you know, for my
community, and then that's it.
I'm not even looking at anybodyelse's stories.
I'm so focused, you know, onwhatever I'm doing, because you

(01:18:32):
have to be.
I'm more interested in my lifethan in anybody and I want
people do the same, you know.
Be interested in your life rightTo be interested in your life,
be that addicting to your life.

Speaker 2 (01:18:43):
How beautiful that would be.

Speaker 1 (01:18:45):
Yeah, and to nurture yourself.

Speaker 2 (01:18:47):
To nurture, and how beautiful it would be if women
would make an attempt to watchtheir own story.
Yeah, it's very beautiful, youknow?
Or men, View your own storyLike swipe on your own story,
all the time Justself-reflecting.

Speaker 1 (01:19:05):
Go back to yourself all the time.
You know, most of the time whenI'm on my Instagram, I'm
looking on my page.
You said I'm looking to fixsomething to see what I'm giving
to people, because when you arecreating, I want to give
something meaningful.
You know.

Speaker 2 (01:19:18):
Oh yeah, it's growing .

Speaker 1 (01:19:19):
You're growing, yeah, I want to see my mistakes and
yeah, I want to.
That's another beautiful pointto control how much time you're
spending on Instagram and tocontrol who are you following.
I would add also that, becausethis year I unfollowed so many
people, I just follow like ahandful of people who really
inspire me to be better not tocompare myself to them, me to be

(01:19:47):
better.
Not to compare myself to them,even if it's okay to have, I
want to say it's okay to havenegative emotions when you see
someone.
If something is giving younegative energy, just don't say
it.
Just make your life clean.
Just surround yourself withpeople who inspire you to be
better, to be your best self.

Speaker 2 (01:20:04):
I think that's beautiful.
We'll end with that, because itis the most beautiful statement
when we guide women to reallynurture their inner self versus
not focusing on the outer, and Ithink that that's where that
routine is created and kept.
Yes, so, zhenya, thank you somuch, I appreciate you I think
you're doing a phenomenal jobwith wellness routine.

(01:20:26):
Please keep teaching women andguiding women and allowing women
to really see their true self.
It's God's work.

Speaker 1 (01:20:34):
It really is yes, I believe in that.
If I'm doing this work, thenthis is God's plan.
This is not about me.
That's how I'm taking it.

Speaker 2 (01:20:42):
This is what he had for you.
This is about them and I'mserving people.

Speaker 1 (01:20:45):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:20:46):
We are his disciples, for sure.

Speaker 1 (01:20:48):
Thank you.
Thank you too, eddie Jenner, ofcourse.

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Zhenya Baghinyan | Wellness Routines, Self-Compassion, Motherhood | The Edit Alaverdyan Podcast #36

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Zhenya Baghinyan | Wellness Routines, Self-Compassion, Motherhood | The Edit Alaverdyan Podcast #36