I Choose Not to Drink Today, A Meditation with Music

This might be day one of your recovery, or you may be beginning again.  Maybe you are just curious about your relationship with alcohol and want to experience some time without it.  Ground with an intention not to drink today in this meditation where we explore proof  that recovery is possible. Through the moving account of my friend Julie's four-year sobriety milestone, we glean inspiration and hope, understanding that her path can illuminate our own.  Despite all we have been through, and any fear of the future, we invite a compassionate  presence where we spend time breathing together.

Julie's story is a testament to the belonging that dedication to one's well-being can reveal, and we hope that by listening, you too will be inspired to spread the light of recovery, knowing that self-care and love are the most powerful contributors to the world's beauty.  We'd be honoured if you shared this episode with someone who is exploring recovery from substance use.

This meditation is influenced by Yoga Sutra 1.1 which loosely translates to "Now Begins Yoga".  Yoga is a self-reliant healing system, and in so many ways, your recovery practices can be a self-reliant healing system of your own design!  I invite you to further explore the lessons in yoga that scaffold recovery.  Follow this podcast for weekly tools you can try, deciding for yourself which of them support your most beautiful life.  You can also listen to this meditation every time you'd like to commit to your wellbeing.

This meditation has hopeful, and licensed background music.  If you enjoy your meditations without music,  please visit Episode 3.

Show Links

She Recovers® is an organization that hosts retreats and online gatherings for anyone identifying with women's communities and is in recovery (from anything).  I take turns volunteer teaching online, free yoga classes there with a host of trained trauma-informed yoga teachers.  You can find us at:

https://sherecovers.org/canada/. 

I also mention my friend Julie, who volunteers  as a facilitator of twice daily,  free online gatherings as a trained She Recovers® Coach.  If you need a Julie in your life too, you can find her at:

https://www.mysoberself.ca.

Julie's story is shared with her permission.  Part of that story includes treatment.  You can find a link to the treatment centre that supported her healing here:

https://www.edgewoodhealthnetwork.com/locations/edgewood/

If private treatment is not within your means, I am just building a website with some other, free resources.  It is coming soon, and you will find it really soon at:

https://www.theelderflower.ca

 I would like to acknowledge that I live and work on the traditional, ancestral and unceded territory of Sinixt Peoples. I make this acknowledgment to show my respect for the tmxʷulaʔxʷ (homeland), and Sinixt Nation. I feel privileged and grateful to be here, and I invite those reading this to explore their own relationship to place.

Episode Transcript

Jennifer Lebedoff (00:09):
You've arrived here at the perfect time
.
Maybe this is the first day ofa recovery journey, or perhaps
this is the time you're choosingto recommit.
Maybe you're just dipping a toeinto a different relationship
with alcohol, exploring what itmight look like, not eager to
label anything, just curious.
This is a reflection and ameditation intended to encourage

(00:33):
you.
You might listen to these wordsas you prepare to meet the day,
or let them wash over you asyou take a little bit of time
for yourself.
And if, at any time, thismeditation is not working for
you, you can just stop it andtry something else that does.
I invite you to take acomfortable seat, or maybe you

(00:56):
wish to lie down.
If you're struggling to bestill right now, you might press
pause, put on some shoes andlisten to this as you take a
little walk outside.
You might begin by softeningyour gaze, softening your edges,
opening up to a new day.

(01:19):
Maybe you ease your jaw andrest your brow, and, without
changing anything about yourreliable breath, I invite you to
bring your attention to whereit begins the start.

(01:39):
Maybe it's a little tickle inyour nostrils, or maybe you have
an awareness of the breathbeginning just in front of your
face.
Bring your attention there.
You might notice if your breathis warm or cool, long or short.

(02:08):
And if you can't feel yourbreath in your body right now,
you might bring your hands toyour side ribs or to rest on
your soft belly and actually seethem moving, knowing that your
breath is breathing you alive.
Beginning is happening for younow.

(02:30):
You are here beginning a newday, one breath at a time.
Creation is happening for you.
You have the potential and thepower to create a purposeful and
connected life.
Today, this moment that you'recommitting to yourself in this

(02:59):
practice of meditation, isauspicious.
Auspicious means special,precious.
You might thank yourself fortaking this time, for showing up
.
Maybe you bring to mind themany versions of yourself who
did not make it to this place.

(03:20):
Think of them with compassion.
Or maybe you think of the manypeople struggling in this life
who don't find a way out of thatsuffering.
I invite you to remember thatthe opposite is also true, that

(03:42):
the path to recovery isavailable, that a beautiful life
free of addiction is possible.
You might bring to mind someonewho you know who is living that
courageous, authentic life now,someone whose life has been

(04:05):
made better.
Maybe you picture their face,or you picture the qualities
they possess, that you admire,their warmth, their try.
You might picture a few aspectsor characteristics of them you

(04:29):
might emulate today.
You might keep them here inyour mind's eye or even consider
calling or messaging them todayand letting them know that they
mean so much to you that theyarrived in your morning

(04:51):
meditation.
You might call this a livingpractice on and off the mat.
And maybe you don't knowanybody.
You don't have that example andif that's you, I'll share
someone with you.
I just got off a video callwith four other women.

(05:14):
The purpose of this call was tocelebrate our dear friend, Julie
, on achieving four years ofsobriety.
Today, if you are anywherewithin a stone's throw of us,
you could have heard giggles ofdelight and unbridled joy.
You would have seen tissuescome out as we recalled having
witnessed Julie's growth andevolution, brave and not without

(05:38):
struggle.
Sobs punctuated with relievinglaughs, without interruption.
We each praised our friend.
We loved our friend, remindingher of her influence on us, her
strength, her beauty.
We recognize the effort shemakes in being an authentic

(06:02):
beacon to others.
As she volunteers in service toSh e Recovers®, recovery
community.
You would have seen honestbelonging and fulfillment.
Four years ago, Julie walkedinto Edgewood Treatment Center
scared and determined, and todayI'll lend you my friend as

(06:27):
proof that a better life ispossible.
She certainly is my proof.
This is true.
Have you picked your jewels?
Her face will light up when shesees you.
Her eyes are bright and alive.
She has a toothy wide smile andshe walks with bounce and
purpose.
Walking the Vancouver Sea Wallis one of her treasured recovery

(06:49):
practices.
You might picture her now.
You might picture her and knowthat recovery is possible.
Beginning is possible and it'shappening for you too.
Others have been in this place.
Whether this place is just alittle feeling inside, an inner

(07:12):
voice urging you to questionyour relationship with drinking,
or maybe your story is thatyou've had a significant
struggle and suffering theproverbial rock bottom.
Others have been where you are.
It's normal, and we're speakingup so that you can see that you

(07:36):
are not alone.
You are embarking on a worthyexploration and I invite you to
take three intentional breathshere, noticing again that you
are breathing.

(08:14):
All of the moments in your lifeled you to this place now, and
yoga reminds us to begin againand again and again, bringing
our attention to our life force,our breath.
There is no destination, noladder to climb, there is

(08:35):
nowhere to go.
Maybe you have hard feelings ofregret about things that
happened in the past or you'redisappointed with the choices
you've made.
Maybe you are worried about howyou will do a future event
sober or deal with a difficultemotion or circumstance without

(08:57):
a familiar crutch.
I invite you to bring yourselfout of futureizing or rumination
and arrive at this presentmoment.
None of that is happening now.
Each life moment leads you hereto the present time, which is

(09:19):
just right because this is whatis happening now.
You might place your right palmon your sternum and place the
left palm to sit on top of it,right in the center of your
chest.
Maybe you allow your palms tobe heavy, perhaps placing a

(09:44):
little pressure there.
Maybe your good heart rises tomeet your palms just a little
bit, holding your sweetself-compassionately.
I invite you to recognize thatyou showed up on this day for
yourself.
I invite you to whisper a fewwords of encouragement,

(10:08):
gratitude, affirmation orrecognition to yourself in this
moment.
Now I think back to my firstday in recovery.

(10:43):
My inner voice was critical.
That's a gentle way to describethe futility and hurt I felt
inside In that dark and lonelyplace, I'm not sure I could have
summoned kind words for myself.
If you share that experiencewith me, now know this is
totally normal.

(11:03):
And if this is you, I inviteyou to listen to some of the
affirmations I speak to you nowand repeat them to yourself
inside, and if that feelsuncomfortable, you can tap the
brakes at any time and let thewords just wash over you, trying
them on if and when you'reready, if you're finding it easy

(11:24):
to whisper words ofencouragement inside, keep that
going.
Here we go.
Thank you for choosing not todrink today.
Choosing to stop something thatour culture applauds, a
sophisticated, social andcelebrated, takes courage.

(11:47):
I am so brave.
I'm empowering myself.
I'm empowering myself to changeand heal.
I'll make choices todayremembering that.

(12:13):
Thank you for showing up for meand for caring for me.
I deserve this love and care.
This world can be hard and itcan also be beautiful.
This moment where I commit tocaring for myself today is a

(12:35):
momentous contribution to thebeauty in the world.
I am willing to see love inmyself today and notice love in
others.
I invite you to take three moresignificant breaths here.

(13:03):
I hope you meet the challengesand sticky emotions in your day,

(13:25):
with a little bit of compassionfor yourself, knowing you're
going to be trying new ways ofcoping with those, and I hope
you share some of your infinitecapacity for love with yourself
on this day.
Thank you for sharing this timewith me, showing up bravely for
yourself and for this world andmaking it a more tender and

(13:49):
loving place.
And if you found this practicehelpful, I invite you to be
someone else's Julie, someoneelse's light, and share this
meditation by sending them atext.
It might contain a word ofencouragement and a link to
listen to this meditationthemselves.

(14:10):
And happy fourth birthday,Julie.
Shine on.
I love you hard.