July 25, 2025 • 46 mins
Ever felt like you're pushing a boulder uphill despite doing all the "right" things? The hidden reason behind your stuckness might be simpler than you think – you're forcing what should be flowing.
This eye-opening episode dismantles the glorified hustle culture that has many of us trapped in cycles of burnout and frustration. We reveal how your nervous system actually blocks what your mind is trying to force when it doesn't feel safe, creating a biological roadblock to your goals and dreams. Through personal stories and practical examples, we illustrate the profound difference between the draining experience of force versus the sustainable nature of flow.
You'll discover clear signs to recognize when you're operating from force – like chronic fatigue, desperate energy, and overthinking every decision – versus the expansive feeling of flow, characterized by clear decisions, synchronicities, and joyful focus. Most importantly, we provide actionable strategies to shift from force to flow through nervous system regulation, embodiment practices, values alignment, rest and play, and the practice of surrender and trust.
The Navy SEALs wisdom "slow is smooth and smooth is fast" takes on new meaning as we explore how sustainable progress comes not from pushing harder but from finding your aligned pacing. Whether you're building a business, navigating relationships, or transforming your health, this conversation offers a refreshing alternative to the "no pain, no gain" mentality that leaves so many depleted.
Ready to experience the delight of making progress without the struggle? Listen now and discover why "alignment is your leverage and flow is your fuel" – your path to creating momentum without resistance awaits.
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Looking for Expansion Coaching? Apply to work with Mike here.
Manifest everything you want in your life, using our HoldTheVibe.com course! 5 modules led with audio and video by Mikey and Zuri to help you unlock the magic of manifesting using a simple step-by-step process.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You know you actually scared me with the whole.
Would you dance with yourselfon flow?
Speaker 2 (00:07):
On force.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
On force On force?
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I mean, I might actually fear for my life, but
that's how your current partnerwould feel Exactly.
Your current partner, me aka me, this cute little redhead over
here.
That's how I would feel dancingwith four-state Mike.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
He's trying to dip me when I want to be dipped.
He's trying to spin me when I'mtrying to spin.
He's stepping on my feet.
Maybe he has a woodrow, maybehe's got crazy eyes.
Maybe he has a woodrow and he'snot supposed to have one.
He's like come on, bro, likestop it.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
No, it's more like crazy eyes and angry at the
world, that person you don'twant to dance with right.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
No.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Okay, so me in fourth state.
Would you want to dance with mein fourth state?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
No, no, I don't want to dance with you in fourth
state.
No, you don't want to doanything with anyone in fourth
state.
Right, because there's anelement of violence that I would
prefer not experiencing.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Right.
So that's how you'reinteracting with your spouse
currently.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yeah, or your business, or your business.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
But also what's most important and the foundation of
all of this is that's how you'reinteracting with yourself, bro.
Don't interact with your selfin a way where you are dancing
in force state on yourself withyourself.
That's not a partner you want.
(01:35):
Welcome to the EmpowermentCouple Podcast, where your path
to self-mastery expands.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
My co-host is Empowerment Coach Zuri Starr.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
And he's Expansion Coach Mikey Starr.
And he's expansion coach MikeyStarr.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Together we are the Empowerment Couple.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Our mission is simple to serve you, love, so you can
make informed decisions toregain and maintain your
personal power.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
We'll take you on a journey to a life filled with
purpose, passion and limitlesspossibilities, while sharing
stories of transformation,wellness hacks and healthy
habits backed by science andancient wisdom.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Plus, we'll keep you entertained with engaging games,
banter and funny innuendosalong the way.
Each episode is an excitingblend of education,
entertainment and empowermentdesigned to help you create a
mindset to be a magnet for morelove, happiness and abundance.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Together with our special guests.
We are dedicated to sharinginformation that empowers you to
create your most beautiful life.
A one-zine, a two-zine, athree-zine your most beautiful
life.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I got nothing.
I got nothing, you're supposedto say something.
I forgot.
Okay, we're going to be talkingabout force versus flow.
Are you ready for this?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I am, and before we begin, I would like to let you
know that the first time that Ireally felt flow in my life was
when I met you and I fell inlove.
Love was flow to me andeverything else in my life was
force.
I was forcing my way through alot of challenges in my life.
(03:20):
And then I met you and you werefalling in love with you was
flow.
And then I met you and you werefalling in love with you was
flow.
So when we have conversationsabout flow, I always feel like
flow is love.
Flow is that light feeling.
So I'm excited about thisconversation because I love flow
.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
I love me some flow.
Okay, well, we're going tocover the hidden reason why
you're stuck and thank you forsharing about the flow oh,
you're so welcome.
I'm still absorbing it.
I'm still like, oh, that's sosweet to think about that.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Give you something to chew on.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
I think that's interesting, because when you
fall in love, you have to let goa lot.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Yes, that is correct and things are happening for you
, even though you're like what'shappening?
This is not my plan.
What is this that's?
Speaker 3 (04:12):
flow yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
And also you're so excited and it's like everything
you're asking for, but yeah, ifyou're not ready.
So it's interesting.
I have to think about thatdeeper.
You made me like pause.
I'm like, oh, we'll do the showand I'm like, wait, wait, let
me think about this and we'vebeen together for quite some
time.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
We're coming up on our anniversary, niceness um,
which means it gives me anopportunity to look back at the
time that we have spent togetherand I see clearly where a
relationship would have a hardtime, and it was typically when
one of us or both of us were inforce.
(04:55):
And force and love doesn't workright.
Flow and love.
So you know we're also talkingabout productivity.
Productivity is self-love,right, so it has to be flow.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Yeah, basically this is going to speak to you.
If you've been hustling hard oryou're like checking every box,
maybe you're making like atotal life transformation.
Like a total lifetransformation, or you've hit,
maybe, a burnout.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
No, that's highly likely.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Or you are feeling stuck and maybe, like you know,
not moving forward, or maybe itjust feels like you're doing all
the things and then your dreamsare like are still super far
away and you haven't made anyprogress.
Super far away and you haven'tmade any progress.
(05:50):
So that's what it looks likewhen you are experiencing a lack
of flow and a lot of force.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Yeah, and you're not broken right, you're not lazy.
You may just be forcing whatshould be flowing.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Right, you know, and anyone who's out there trying to
manifest things, you can'tmanifest your highest life in a
state of force.
Right, your alignment is reallyyour leverage.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Right.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
So if you are in alignment, flow is there.
If you're not in alignment,you're going to have to force
your way through it and that'swhere you have burnout and all
kinds of problems.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Yeah, and a lot of times I talk to my clients about
leverage, like if everything isgoing wrong, I'm like, oh well,
then you're going the wrong way.
Use that as leverage to go in adifferent direction yeah.
Or you have kids, for example.
Kids are great leverage to notgive up, right?
Yeah.
But alignment being yourleverage is another way to look
(06:44):
at it.
That it will move you forwardfaster.
So there's different ways tolook at leverage.
Your alignment will actuallypropel.
It's more like a propeller.
It will propel you into a placeof flow.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Correct.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
So today we're unpacking why you feel stuck
despite your effort, how to spotforce versus flow and how to
shift into aligned momentum.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I love that aligned momentum.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Let's go.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
And if anyone who's ever tasted aligned momentum, it
is delicious.
When you find that sweet spot,that flow spot, it's most
certainly worth rearranging yourdays for to experience again.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Yes, totally.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
So let's talk a little bit, as you know why you
get stuck.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Yeah, why are you stuck?
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Yeah.
So force really is doingsomething from fear, rushing
through it or trying to proveyourself or to solve a
high-pressure experience Likeyou're about ready to lose your
house.
You're going to have to forceyour way through this right, and
(08:01):
flow is doing it from alignmentright.
So you're tapping into yourpresence, you're trusting into
the universe.
So if you are stuck in a highstakes scenario, the first thing
that you're probably wanting todo is force it.
But that is the wrong way,right?
So it might be that you'restuck because you forgot that
(08:24):
there's a second route.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
You'll know force from language like I got to get
it done, whatever the it is, orI got to save the house, like
your example, and then flow,you'll know from I feel aligned
to do this.
The language you're going tohear is like I feel aligned to
this experience.
I feel really happy in themoment and this is what it feels
(08:50):
like to you know haveaccomplished this thing.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Yeah, these problems are opening up these
opportunities.
Like, oh, okay, it's adifferent way of thinking about
it.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
And what I like a lot is when I feel that fear come
on, is like just telling myselfI trust the process of life,
like life, life is alwaysworking out for me and just
unpacking that fear with myphrases that I know will keep me
out of that mind loop hell.
(09:19):
When you're stuck, it's oftenbecause your nervous system
doesn't feel safe to expand.
We've been talking so muchabout nervous systems and I
think that and we did talk about, like you know what, the whole
stuck thing and the rut toreinvention.
You know we have focused onsome of these because these are
(09:39):
the common patterns that come upin our client practice and
these are the things that wehave also experienced for
ourselves that if you don'tmaster those areas where you
know how to heal your nervoussystem, you know how to be
present, you know how to getinto flow state, what's your way
(09:59):
of getting into a state whereanything is fucking possible?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Centered calmness.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Right.
If you can't do that, then allof the other bigger things that
you might be wanting to do aregoing to be unobtainable.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Yeah, like going through quicksand.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
A couple quick factoids for you.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
The American Institute of Stress states 77%
of people experience physicalsymptoms from stress, much of it
tied to hustle culture andchronic forcing see, that's that
proves the point that I wasjust making is that a lot of
people, when they come intothese scenarios where they have
to make a move really quickly,they think that, um, hustle is
(10:38):
the only route to take, rightforce is the only route to take
because, um, you know a, theysee so many people doing it and
they feel like, well, you knowif, if Roger's going to do it
and Peter's going to do, I mightas well do it.
Um, but when Roger and Peterend up in the hospital, uh,
because they forced their waythrough it, uh, you could
(10:59):
actually be sitting on a beachbecause you used flow.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Right, because it also comes back to like what
happened in your childhood,where somebody had a value of
some type of hustle culture.
Most of us have had, um, youknow, a a childhood where you
were programmed by something insociety that made you feel like
(11:23):
you had to hustle.
You'll sleep when you're dead,like these types of phrases.
Right, all of that's force.
None of that is like payattention to your emotional set
points and see what feels goodto do.
None of it was like listen toyour inner guidance.
No, none of that.
That has to all be silenced andshut down in order to
experience a forced life,correct.
(11:46):
And so if your family valuedhard work, for example, like we
were talking earlier today, mikeand I went on like a five mile
walk and it's like if youprioritized being a hard worker
and that was the value set, thatwas the highest place you could
(12:08):
reach as a child and set by aparent, then you're going to
have a lot of force experienceswhere you can't just pay
attention to where you'renaturally gifted or you're
naturally drawn to because youwant to achieve and earn and
(12:34):
have this.
I'm the best worker at whateverjob and it's like that is going
to create a ripple effect inyour life.
So it doesn't mean it takesover.
It means you can take yourpower back from it once you
acknowledge it and realize whereit came from.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Yeah, and I feel like what you were saying in regards
to have it be an earlychildhood experience is that
once that happens, it embedsitself in your nervous system,
right, right?
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Yeah yeah, we talked a little bit about polyvagal
theory in one of our previousepisodes, but that is basically.
The nervous system needs safetyto enter social engagement and
creativity.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Like that last bit.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
The creativity part is crazy, exactly.
Because most things that youwant to do as an entrepreneur
and we have a lot of coaches andentrepreneurs and my coaches a
lot of corporate CEOs and it'slike that creativity part you
think it doesn't matter even ifyou aren't in a creative field
(13:40):
right.
But it does, because strategy isthen creative.
Like how creative are you withyour strategy?
How creative are you with yourum, putting even just your work
day together?
How creative are you with yourteam?
Like creativity is massive, sothe nervous system needs safety
in order to enter socialengagement and creativity.
(14:02):
But you're not stuck becauseyou're not working hard enough.
You're stuck because you'reforcing what requires flow.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
You're going in the wrong direction and I like what
you said.
It's just a different approach.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
You just have to approach it differently.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
In regards to the whole creativity, yeah, a lot of
my clients are, you know, highlevel creatives.
And you know, when I saycreativity it doesn't mean just,
you know, painting or drawingor any of that stuff.
When we seek answers tosolutions, we are tapping into
the same part of the brain thatis creative, right, we're
(14:42):
getting downloads from sourcepart of the brain that is
creative, right, we're gettingdownloads from source.
And when you keep yourself fromthat type of flow where you
have all answers at yourfingertips and you try to do it
yourself, your problemsliterally will kind of start
packing up on themselves right.
You're going to get backed upbecause there's no flow.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
But if this is totally new to you, don't worry.
We're going to help youdiagnose force versus flow and
if you decide that you want togo deeper into this world, this
is one of my foundationalprinciples that I teach.
So welcome, you're in goodhands.
You're in good hands.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
So let's talk about signs that you are in force,
right.
So if you're experiencingchronic fatigue, you're in force
, right.
If you're feeling urgency ordesperation to get something
done, I'm not talking about, youknow.
A sense of urgency is great,but that desperate part of it
that usually will knock you outof creativity and put you right
(15:41):
back into force, Saying yes outof fear and not desire.
Yes, Right.
So do I really want this job ornot really?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Or do I really want to say yes to something that I
know is a no and that I'm justafraid that the person is going
to no longer want to work withme or whatever the fear is?
Whatever the fear you'veattached to you, saying no or
setting a boundary, that's force.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Mm-hmm.
A common one is overthinkingevery decision.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
That's force.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Right or even hustling, without results.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Hustling is one thing , but when you hustle without
results, it literally means youare going in the wrong direction
.
Yeah, it means that you'repretty are going the wrong
direction.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Yeah, it means that you're pretty much going in a
circle, yeah, and that's superfrustrating, for and that's
usually the words that I hear oh, it's so frustrating.
I'm doing, you know this, thisand that, and I'm not making any
progress.
And it's like okay, becauseyou're approaching it with force
instead of flow.
So here are some signs you'rein flow Feeling spacious while
(16:46):
taking action.
Clear decisions, even if bold,where you just have a guttural
like this is a yes, or this is ano.
And then you pay attention to itlike, honor it.
Like if you get that clear,bold feeling, honor it, because
then you won't betray yourselfand then you won't be in a
(17:06):
situation where you're used tobetraying yourself.
So you stop listening to theintuitive hits, because men and
women get intuitive hits of like, oh, I shouldn't do this, yeah,
and then they do it.
And then guess what?
You're literally cutting off apart of yourself that has an
ability to know the rightdirection, to go, working with
(17:29):
joy and focus that's a sign thatyou're in flow.
Synchronicities and alignedopportunities that's massive.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
I love that because it's literally an energy game
right.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Everything is.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
You're saying yes, finally In flow.
You're saying yes, so theuniverse is like oh, you're
saying yes, Well, here you go.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Exactly, and why people get stuck a lot is they
are seeing synchronicities, andin negative things you know
where they're like oh, it's asign I shouldn't be doing this
and it's like or it's a signthat you should, but like if
you've been ignoring yourinternal compass for so long or
(18:14):
self-betraying, or you knowthere's a bunch of different
psychological ways to express it.
But if you aren't listening toyourself, then you're not going
to notice synchronicities.
The days where I'm in the mostflow, I'm like everything is a
synchronicity, everything islike an aligned moment of like
crazy magic.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Correct.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
And those are the days where I'm usually like
calling my mom or a familymember or like journaling, or I
write a song because I'm justlike this happened and then this
happened, and then I saw thisand can you believe this?
And I'm so excited.
It's the way all of us actuallyare wired when we come in, but
we lose some of that because weforce ourselves not to feel.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
This reminds me of a time a number of years ago when
I was in corporate and I wasrecruited.
Someone called me and they wererecruiting me and I didn't see
that as an opportunity.
I was fearful and I thought itwas my company testing my
loyalty and the opportunity wasdivine.
(19:19):
I was like, oh my God, this isgreat, but this might be a trick
, and I got real fearful andthen I missed real, real fearful
.
And then you know I missed thatopportunity, yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Yeah, and I've caught myself in times where I'm out
of alignment and something seemstoo good to be true and like
there's that phrase oh, if itseems too good to be true, it
probably is, and actually whatI've experienced is the opposite
.
So whoever did that great, whosaid that and programmed a bunch
of us to even know what thatphrase is?
Speaker 1 (19:49):
I think it was Lucifer who said that, yeah,
good job, good job, buddy.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
But it's actually the opposite.
Sometimes things seem too goodto be true because they are
exactly what you've asked for,but we reject them.
So are you rejecting?
You probably are in forcedstate.
In forced state you're probablyrejecting, because you're like
oh no, get this fucking scammeraway from me Like whatever.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
So yeah, if you're-.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
This is a trick.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Let's say you're on the street, you're in a good
mood, someone walks up to youand gives you $100 and you're
like, oh thanks.
But if you're skeptical, right,if you're fearful, and someone
comes up with $100, you're likeno thanks, what do I have to do
for this $100?
Right, there's always a catch.
There's always a gimmick.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Is it laced with poison?
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Exactly so.
You're going to reject it basedoff of your fears.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Yeah, yeah, and that's like a wild example for
sure, but like, let's give likea real life example.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Okay, what do you got ?
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Let's say you are a coach, right, because we have a
lot of coaching clients.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Let's say, you're a coach and somebody says to you
okay, mike.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Somebody says to you hey, I just lost my previous
coach and I'd like to hire youfor the year.
I need to decide quickly.
Here's what I used to pay myother coach.
Will this work?
Because that's what I have inmy budget and let's say it's
five times higher than whatyou've been paid.
(21:20):
What do you say?
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
And do you feel guilty?
Do you feel unworthy?
Do you feel like, oh my gosh,am I going to have to provide
five times more of the value?
Do you feel like, oh, thiscan't be true, because why
wouldn't everybody else bepaying me this?
Any of those thoughts come in.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
No only because I'm currently in a good mood right,
I'm currently in flow but thatit does bring up a good, a good
conversation, because there aretimes in my life where I'd be
like, ooh, like, like, can Ireally, you know, when the
self-worth kind of couples up ifyou're neck deep in wounds,
you're like, uh, you know, andthen what happens is you'll
(22:05):
probably say yes to it, but then, energetically, you'll fuck it
up.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Yeah, that kind of thing has happened to me and I'm
just like, oh, thank you,universe, I guess I need to
raise all of my prices.
And so I see it as that insteadof seeing it as like, oh gosh,
I'm not worth that much andthat's a waste of money.
Or I'm not worth that much andlike that's a waste of money, or
like I, how am I ever going todeliver?
You know, like they wereunhappy with a coach that they
(22:29):
spent that much money on andthey will never feel that way
with me, right?
And so when thosesynchronicities happen, it's
like divine alignment.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Yeah, that's a gift so okay.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Another sign that you're in flow calm, energy,
even when moving quickly.
This is like a superpower.
This is something that you'llfeel in flow state, but you'll
know you're not in flow statewhen you're busy and you are
cussing him and Han and like youknow, like, but motherfucker,
(23:04):
like, oh, and this you know.
Like you, you are not.
You are doing a task and youmight even be doing the task
well, but you're doing it withforce, energy, correct.
So force will feel like pushinga boulder up a hill, which is
everybody's favorite thing totalk about.
Yeah, when's the last time youpushed a boulder up a hill?
Speaker 1 (23:23):
but it will feel carried boulders up hills, but
not pushed it will feel heavyand intense and also like
impossible Flow.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Feels like riding the current you've prepared for.
Ooh, why do we default to force?
Why do you think?
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Oh my goodness, just patterns.
Yeah, default to force.
Why do you think?
Oh my goodness, just patterns.
I think we're taught ways ofdoing this, of doing things
incorrectly, because it's justbeing handed down, handed down,
handed down, handed down Cycles.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
So we live in a culture that glorifies hustle,
for sure, right, it alsoglorifies chaos and busyness,
and this is because then theycan sell you the products to
alleviate yourself from feelingthe hustle, the chaos and the
busyness.
But because it glorifies that,it makes it easy to link our
(24:19):
worth to how much we do versuswho we are, or how much we know
how to be calm or to be in astate of joy.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Yeah, I mean, many of us grew up in homes where love
or validation was conditional onperformance.
Yep Right.
So we internalize force assafety Right.
So I love this quote from thenavy seals slow is smooth and
smooth is fast yes right and Iand you know I'm a former marine
(24:53):
and I remember them teachingthat concept when they were,
when we were, uh, cleaningweapons and things like that,
where you want to do really fast, no, no, go slow, be smooth,
intentional, intentional andthen what happens is you stop
making mistakes, right, andthere's more of a body movement
to it.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
And that's such a beautiful principle because
that's everything in life.
Oh yeah, if you think about itlike, if you clean the house,
for example, which all of us do,even if you have somebody that
helps you, you will have to tidysomething on your own, unless
you have somebody there 24-7,.
You have a staff, unless youhave that, and if you do good
(25:33):
for you, if that's what you love.
But unless you have that,you're cleaning something up,
and when you're cleaningsomething up, if you clean the
counter too quickly and arewiping really fast, you could
knock something over.
That's a metaphor foreverything in your life with
(25:54):
force.
With force, you're using quick,negative, angsty, disgruntled
energy.
With flow, you're using likeyou might be whistling while
you're wiping the counter, youmight be feeling like you might
be kind of dancing.
You got music going you mightfeel like oh, like gosh, this
(26:16):
countertop is beautiful.
Like I'm so happy I invested inthis instead of this other
green formica that they had inmy kitchen.
Right, you'll be inappreciation.
You'll be looking at it like,wow, this is glorious.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Yeah, and plugging the whole.
Slow is smooth and smooth isfast.
You plug that into some of yourbig tasks, right where you want
to herp and get it done, intosome of your big tasks, right
where you want to herp and getit done.
That concept reminds us thatsustainable progress comes from
aligned pacing right, yes.
(26:52):
And we are looking for both ofthose things.
We want sustainable progress,right.
Even if it's you know, you takea step every other day towards
your goal, or every weekend youdo something, or once a month
you do something.
As long as there's some sort ofsustainable progress is nice,
um, and then I like the conceptof aligned pacing yeah, and so,
(27:13):
like, just think of this interms of what all of us have to
do.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
We all have to sleep, which most of us are like why
the fuck do we have to sleep?
But we haven't evolved out ofit, so it's obviously still
necessary.
And so, since you have to sleep, like, think of sleep as being
your aligned pacing Every dayyou get to start fresh Mm-hmm,
but only if you go to sleep,yeah, and only if you get enough
(27:37):
sleep, and only if it's qualitysleep.
And so your aligned pacing isalready set up by design.
We are literally designed andwired to take a rest, yeah, to
take breaks, correct, not tojust do.
We were not called human doings.
We are human beings, humanbeings exactly.
But your nervous system is goingto block what your mind is
(28:00):
trying to force if it doesn'tfeel safe.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Every single time.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
So anything that you're looking to make progress
on will be blocked.
It's like, literally, shaq isright there at the goal.
He's going to be like blocking,no, no, no, blocking, no, no,
no, no.
It wasn't Shaq who was thatcommercial.
Anyway, it's going to be a no,no, no on all of your things.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
A two, a bug, something, yes.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
So let's talk about how to shift from force to flow,
because this is where you'vegot the information.
You probably know what we'retalking about.
We've given you enough examples, but let's talk about
application.
So let's embody this changeShifting from force to flow.
Number one would be nervoussystem regulation.
(28:50):
So, of course, we're talkingabout breath work, we're talking
about grounding, we're talkingabout somatic practices.
Some people like to shake, somepeople somatic practices.
Some people like to shake, somepeople like rebounding, some
people like massage.
There's so many ways you canregulate your nervous system.
Find something that works foryou.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
And it's wickedly important because if you have a
regulated nervous system, youmake better decisions.
The big ones, the small ones,the medium, all decisions.
All decisions are made from aplace of love and compassion and
flow.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Yeah, and if you are unable to just sit and be
present, then you need to pullout a journal and get rid of
some of the toxic sludge that isclouding up your body and your
brain, and that can be anactivity, but it's all about
finding that regulation.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Next is embodiment practices.
And we say practices, we'retalking about things that you
kind of do normally, Habits,Habits that you can kind of
bring into your existence.
And one way to do that is toask how does this choice feel in
my body?
Right?
Is it tight or expansive?
Right, the more you check inwhen you are, you know, making a
(30:08):
decision or you're trying toget things done, the more
opportunity you have to chooseflow over force.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Right and, if it feels forced, pause and
recalibrate.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Recalibrate Exactly.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Yeah, so just adding that, like put it as a notes,
you know, in your notes app, orput a sticky note, if you like,
pen to paper.
But how does this choice feelin my body?
Tight or expansive?
Speaker 1 (30:35):
And if it feels forced, pause and recalibrate.
Don't make a decision or takean action when you are in force,
because in many cases you willfind yourself in a circular
pattern or going backwards.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Right, or you'll just be overthinking.
Which is also force, yeah, okay.
So number three would beclarity and values alignment.
This is a good check enginelight.
As we always say, am I doingthis from fear or love?
Aligned action is done withcore values, not societal
(31:11):
expectations.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
So if you have a core value of spending time with
your family but the societalexpectations are, you know
you've got to go out and makemoney, make money, make money,
make money right.
Chase the profits.
You're going to find yourselfvacating who you are Right and
putting yourself right in harm'sway of living a forceful life.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Right, harm's way of living a forceful life Right.
And then like, yeah, the answerwould be if you were choosing
just to work over what youreally wanted to do always like.
Certainly there's times whereyou have to make choices that
are part of adulting, but ifyou're always making that choice
like you have the wrongprofession because you're making
(32:00):
it out of fear that you won'thave money and the universe
isn't on a budget, there's aninfinite possibilities.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
So much money out there.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
And so much, yeah, so much money.
So number four would be restand play, my favorite.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
Yes, rest restores creativity and nervous system
safety right.
Creating space for inspirationLike that is key.
That's everything that's goingback to you know, if you are in
a happy mood, happy things cometo you.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Right.
If you are in an excited mood,excited things come to you.
If you are in a desperate mood,you are going to attract more
and more desperate peopleexperiences situations, because
you are what you attract, right.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
And where focus goes, energy flows and where a lot of
the clients that have thisstuck conversation a lot are
focusing only on what is notworking out Correct and they'll
send a voxer or a messenger.
That's like complaint,complaint, complaint, complaint.
(33:09):
I'm a victim, I'm a victim.
And it's like listen.
If that's where your focus is,then have you spent any time
being in a state of gratitudeand getting your nervous system
ready to be a vessel or ready tobe a magnet of that exact thing
that you're grateful for?
Like your energy is the magnet.
(33:32):
It will pull things to you thatyou may want because you're a
match for, or it will repel yeah.
And as many times as we saythat, I think people don't
totally understand that untilthey start applying it.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Application is everything.
It's not about hearing it abunch of times, it's about try
it.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Yeah.
Like you know Trial and error.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
Try it out, tell us what you find.
Number five is surrender anderror.
Try it out, tell us what youfind.
Number five is surrender andtrust.
So flow requires trust intiming and your preparation,
shifting from micromanaging toallowing Shifting out of
micromanaging is so hard.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
It is so hard because you feel like the devil's in
the details.
If someone doesn't know this orthat, the whole thing's going
to fall to pieces.
But to allow those things tohappen, to allow more creativity
to come in, that is the trueskill set that you want to
(34:39):
master.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
And also, I think, the trust part is massive,
because I will speak especiallyto women, because all of us that
are women experience a lot ofsituations where we cannot be
trusting and where we cannotfeel safe and where we don't get
(35:01):
to be feminine, because we arein situations where it's safer
to be masculine, it's safer tobe guarded, it's safer to put up
a mask or to not let down yourhair, so to speak.
And so the trust part ischallenging, I think, for women,
(35:25):
because they and most of myclients are women because they
want to control a situation orhave it happen much faster than
the universe is going to because, think about it, you're in
force.
And so if you're in force,forcing the situation to be safe
(35:49):
, forcing the situation to befaster, forcing the situation to
be on your timeline, all ofthat control business is all
force, energy.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
Yeah, and I would go so far as to say that for the
gentlemen out there, there aremen who are stuck in that
mindset of yes, man, I have tofucking make this happen.
I got to push, I got to push, Igot to push, I got to push, I
got to push.
And for those individuals, I'mlike no, you don't have to push
(36:20):
right, there's a divine optionwhere you can actually pull in
some of the balance within yourmale and female energies and in
many cases, a lot of my clientsare stuck because they are too
manly to allow the feminineenergy within them to come out
(36:40):
and solve a problem.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Right, like where's the intuitive hits?
Correct.
And also the imbalances in yourrelationship can be also about
force.
Correct, like if you're forcingthe energy as the male to be
like masculine dominating ratherthan masculine protecting, then
(37:03):
there's no way you're not goingto get a woman that is going to
force back.
Correct, because two people, ifone is forcing the other, one
isn't flowing.
Yeah.
Then you become an opposingforce.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
If one is forcing, we're both forcing.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
Right.
So whatever you push on, youknow an opposing force.
If one is forcing, we're bothforcing, right.
So whatever you push on pushesback.
Whatever you resist, persists,persists.
Yeah, exactly.
And so if you want your womanto be in a flow state and you
want to experience a flowy woman, you have to men hear me when I
say this you have to present asafe place for her to be
(37:43):
feminine.
You have to be a regulated,balanced masculine provider
protector.
You know all of thestereotypical things that you're
like oh fuck, yeah, I alreadythat.
But if your nervous system issuper rattled, you're not doing
that.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Yeah, and if you're doing it, and if you have done
it in force for the bulk sum ofyour life and you're now
starting to feel the effects offorce on your body and your mind
and your relationship.
Now is the time to make thatswitch right is the time to make
that switch right from a forceto flow Right, and it's not
(38:21):
difficult.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Because, okay, so flow is not passive.
This is where people think it'slike it's not passive, it's
active trust.
Yeah, it's active, like I trustthe universe, I trust you know,
if you believe in God, whateveryou pray to, you know believe
in Trust.
If you believe in God, whateveryou pray to believe in, it's
that blind faith that you havethat I'm going to trust that
(38:45):
it's going to work out.
Like I said, I trust theprocess of life and then it's
aligned action and thenregulated expansion, where you
are writing down the things know.
Hey, this is working for me.
This is not like you're doingthe work.
That's how you get to regulatedexpansion.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
Yeah, you're asking yourself these questions over
and over and over again.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
And not the questions that are like why am I like
this?
Or oh, it's you know victimwhere, oh, it's that person's
fault that's going to get you inthat circle.
It's that check.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
You know how am fault that's going to get you in that
circle.
It's that check.
Am I doing this from fear orlove?
It's an easy question to ask,and when you ask that on a
regular basis, your body isgoing to tell you yes, right, it
will give you a clear sign.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Okay, so quick game.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Okay, here we go.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
You want to play a game?
Speaker 1 (39:34):
I love games.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
All right, so this is Force vs Flow.
Let's go Okay.
Okay.
I'm just going to read ascenario and you're going to
rapid fire.
Tell me whether it's Force vsFlow.
Okay, one or the other Got itOkay Sending 10 cold DMs in a
panic.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
That's most certainly Force.
I mean, you had me in panic Goahead.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
Okay, creating content when inspired.
And consistent.
That is flow Inspiration isflow, Saying yes to another
project despite already beingexhausted, spent and like it
should be a no.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
You had me in exhaustion.
I'm going to say that is force.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Moving your body with joy before a big call or
recording a podcast.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
That is 100% flow.
You got to move your body withjoy before a big call or
recording a podcast.
That is 100% flow.
You got to move your body.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
Motion requires motion Checking your phone
immediately upon waking.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
That is a forceful habit.
That's nasty.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
Yeah, okay, meditating and setting an
intention for your meditationfirst.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
That is the gateway to a life full of flow.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
So force drains, flow sustains.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
Oh, let's say that one more time.
Speaker 2 (40:48):
Force drains, flow sustains.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
And I look back at my life and I remember every
single time when I hit rockbottom and I felt drained.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
And I was like dude.
I did all this work and itdidn't work out.
That is 100% force.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
Yes.
So alignment is your leverage,and flow is your fuel.
Speaker 3 (41:13):
I'm going to say that again.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Alignment is your leverage and flow is your fuel.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
I love that alignment is your leverage and flow is
your fuel.
I love that and let me tell youif you are an entrepreneur, you
understand what resistance isand feels like and you also know
what momentum is right.
So force is rooted in fear andit creates resistance where flow
is rooted in trust and createsmomentum.
So, again, another way ofdetermining where you are in the
(41:41):
force versus flow right, if youare resisting, you are in force
, right, trusting.
And if you are allowing this tohappen and you are feeling that
momentum, that is flow.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
Yes.
So if this was all new to youand you've never really spent
time with this one journalprompt, just sit with this
question where am I forcing andhow can I shift into flow?
And just see what comes up foryou, without judgment, with love
and with excitement inexploration, like I wonder how I
(42:18):
can shift more, because usuallywith all clients I've
experienced tiny little shifts,equal a lot of momentum, correct
, and so they build on top ofeach other and sometimes you
don't even realize the changesand the progress that you've
made, because it's subtle.
It is subtle and because subtlelittle drops of water in a cup
(42:41):
eventually fill up the cup.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Exactly, exactly.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
And you're the cup in that analogy.
Yes, all right.
Well, we enjoyed being with youtoday.
We hope that this wasempowering and inspired you to
get into flow state as often aspossible and switch and shift
and just enjoy your life.
And inspired you to get intoflow state as often as possible
and switch and shift and justenjoy your life Live in a state
of joy In joy.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
And just know that all things are temporary.
So if you find yourself in astate of force, it's temporary.
You can make a few adjustmentsand be right back on flow.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
Right, sending you the highest vibrations.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
You are held.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
You are loved.
Imagine if you were asked todance by somebody you didn't see
them dance before, which isalways the rule.
Ladies, Hear me out.
If somebody is dancing and thatyou haven't seen them dance,
just make sure it's a song, thatyou don't have to touch the
person, Because if you find outonce you're on the dance floor
that they are in a force stateversus a flow state, tell me
(43:48):
which one of those is going tobe a good time.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
It's not going to be the force state.
You're going to have a brokensomething.
Exactly, you're going to be onthe floor.
There's going to be a hurtankle.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
Okay.
So, using this analogy, thinkabout would you say yes to
dancing with yourself?
Okay, so, if you are in a statewhere you feel yucky, another
way you can check in is be likewould I dance with this person?
And if you're in a yucky?
state you're going to be like no, because that's force energy.
Nobody would say yes to that.
Nobody magnetizes to forceenergy.
(44:26):
Nobody's like oh, I can't waitto dance with the guy who rips
my arms off.
Nobody's like oh, I can't waitto dance with the guy that steps
on my feet.
Nobody says this right.
So then why are we dancing withour own life like that?
Okay, zarell just came in,who's our beautiful daughter?
And I said what's thedifference between force versus
(44:48):
flow?
And she said isn't thisinappropriate.
Speaker 3 (44:51):
Can you talk about potty talk on the podcast?
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Yeah, we talk a lot of potty talk.
Have you not listened?
Oh, I'm busted.
You're not a subscriber.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
I'm the biggest one.
I'm at home listener.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
And at home listener.
Okay, so what's the difference?
Speaker 3 (45:09):
Okay, Forrest is like a hemorrhoid.
And then Flo is just letting itout and smooth move.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
Yes, okay so Forrest is like forcing out your poop,
yes, and Flo is like just smooth, good time.
Speaker 3 (45:21):
Yes, sitting on the toilet for an hour or something,
just letting it come out, okay.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
All right.
Well, do you want to addanything?
Never force it.
Never force it.
If you force it, hemorrhoids.
If you let it flow, you're good.
Gucci, gucci, gucci.
What do you want, people?
Speaker 3 (45:42):
to know most about being in a flow state.
It means having fun.
Speaker 2 (45:44):
Yeah, and would you say that's like one of your
founding principles?
Yes, ma'am, who'd you learnthat shit from?
From Papa Bill.
Speaker 3 (45:57):
She always does that Anytime.
I say who'd you?
Speaker 2 (45:58):
learn that from.
She'll always name.
She'll say my mom, she'll saymy dad, she'll never say me.
Okay, I'm joking.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
It's both of you guys .
Yeah, okay, the empowermentcouple.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Okay, and Grandma Yogi too, yes.
Speaker 3 (46:15):
And everybody who's practically been in my life from
day one.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
Yeah, they all know how to have a good time.
Yes, okay, okay, bye.
You know you actually scared me with the whole.
Would you dance with yourselfon flow?
Speaker 2 (00:07):
On force.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
On force On force?
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I mean, I might actually fear for my life, but
that's how your current partnerwould feel Exactly.
Your current partner, me aka me, this cute little redhead over
here.
That's how I would feel dancingwith four-state Mike.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
He's trying to dip me when I want to be dipped.
He's trying to spin me when I'mtrying to spin.
He's stepping on my feet.
Maybe he has a woodrow, maybehe's got crazy eyes.
Maybe he has a woodrow and he'snot supposed to have one.
He's like come on, bro, likestop it.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
No, it's more like crazy eyes and angry at the
world, that person you don'twant to dance with right.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
No.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Okay, so me in fourth state.
Would you want to dance with mein fourth state?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
No, no, I don't want to dance with you in fourth
state.
No, you don't want to doanything with anyone in fourth
state.
Right, because there's anelement of violence that I would
prefer not experiencing.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Right.
So that's how you'reinteracting with your spouse
currently.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yeah, or your business, or your business.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
But also what's most important and the foundation of
all of this is that's how you'reinteracting with yourself, bro.
Don't interact with your selfin a way where you are dancing
in force state on yourself withyourself.
That's not a partner you want.
(01:35):
Welcome to the EmpowermentCouple Podcast, where your path
to self-mastery expands.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
My co-host is Empowerment Coach Zuri Starr.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
And he's Expansion Coach Mikey Starr.
And he's expansion coach MikeyStarr.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Together we are the Empowerment Couple.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Our mission is simple to serve you, love, so you can
make informed decisions toregain and maintain your
personal power.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
We'll take you on a journey to a life filled with
purpose, passion and limitlesspossibilities, while sharing
stories of transformation,wellness hacks and healthy
habits backed by science andancient wisdom.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Plus, we'll keep you entertained with engaging games,
banter and funny innuendosalong the way.
Each episode is an excitingblend of education,
entertainment and empowermentdesigned to help you create a
mindset to be a magnet for morelove, happiness and abundance.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Together with our special guests.
We are dedicated to sharinginformation that empowers you to
create your most beautiful life.
A one-zine, a two-zine, athree-zine your most beautiful
life.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I got nothing.
I got nothing, you're supposedto say something.
I forgot.
Okay, we're going to be talkingabout force versus flow.
Are you ready for this?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I am, and before we begin, I would like to let you
know that the first time that Ireally felt flow in my life was
when I met you and I fell inlove.
Love was flow to me andeverything else in my life was
force.
I was forcing my way through alot of challenges in my life.
(03:20):
And then I met you and you werefalling in love with you was
flow.
And then I met you and you werefalling in love with you was
flow.
So when we have conversationsabout flow, I always feel like
flow is love.
Flow is that light feeling.
So I'm excited about thisconversation because I love flow
.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
I love me some flow.
Okay, well, we're going tocover the hidden reason why
you're stuck and thank you forsharing about the flow oh,
you're so welcome.
I'm still absorbing it.
I'm still like, oh, that's sosweet to think about that.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Give you something to chew on.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
I think that's interesting, because when you
fall in love, you have to let goa lot.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Yes, that is correct and things are happening for you
, even though you're like what'shappening?
This is not my plan.
What is this that's?
Speaker 3 (04:12):
flow yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
And also you're so excited and it's like everything
you're asking for, but yeah, ifyou're not ready.
So it's interesting.
I have to think about thatdeeper.
You made me like pause.
I'm like, oh, we'll do the showand I'm like, wait, wait, let
me think about this and we'vebeen together for quite some
time.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
We're coming up on our anniversary, niceness um,
which means it gives me anopportunity to look back at the
time that we have spent togetherand I see clearly where a
relationship would have a hardtime, and it was typically when
one of us or both of us were inforce.
(04:55):
And force and love doesn't workright.
Flow and love.
So you know we're also talkingabout productivity.
Productivity is self-love,right, so it has to be flow.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Yeah, basically this is going to speak to you.
If you've been hustling hard oryou're like checking every box,
maybe you're making like atotal life transformation.
Like a total lifetransformation, or you've hit,
maybe, a burnout.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
No, that's highly likely.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Or you are feeling stuck and maybe, like you know,
not moving forward, or maybe itjust feels like you're doing all
the things and then your dreamsare like are still super far
away and you haven't made anyprogress.
Super far away and you haven'tmade any progress.
(05:50):
So that's what it looks likewhen you are experiencing a lack
of flow and a lot of force.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Yeah, and you're not broken right, you're not lazy.
You may just be forcing whatshould be flowing.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Right, you know, and anyone who's out there trying to
manifest things, you can'tmanifest your highest life in a
state of force.
Right, your alignment is reallyyour leverage.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Right.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
So if you are in alignment, flow is there.
If you're not in alignment,you're going to have to force
your way through it and that'swhere you have burnout and all
kinds of problems.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Yeah, and a lot of times I talk to my clients about
leverage, like if everything isgoing wrong, I'm like, oh well,
then you're going the wrong way.
Use that as leverage to go in adifferent direction yeah.
Or you have kids, for example.
Kids are great leverage to notgive up, right?
Yeah.
But alignment being yourleverage is another way to look
(06:44):
at it.
That it will move you forwardfaster.
So there's different ways tolook at leverage.
Your alignment will actuallypropel.
It's more like a propeller.
It will propel you into a placeof flow.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Correct.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
So today we're unpacking why you feel stuck
despite your effort, how to spotforce versus flow and how to
shift into aligned momentum.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I love that aligned momentum.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Let's go.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
And if anyone who's ever tasted aligned momentum, it
is delicious.
When you find that sweet spot,that flow spot, it's most
certainly worth rearranging yourdays for to experience again.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Yes, totally.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
So let's talk a little bit, as you know why you
get stuck.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Yeah, why are you stuck?
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Yeah.
So force really is doingsomething from fear, rushing
through it or trying to proveyourself or to solve a
high-pressure experience Likeyou're about ready to lose your
house.
You're going to have to forceyour way through this right, and
(08:01):
flow is doing it from alignmentright.
So you're tapping into yourpresence, you're trusting into
the universe.
So if you are stuck in a highstakes scenario, the first thing
that you're probably wanting todo is force it.
But that is the wrong way,right?
So it might be that you'restuck because you forgot that
(08:24):
there's a second route.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
You'll know force from language like I got to get
it done, whatever the it is, orI got to save the house, like
your example, and then flow,you'll know from I feel aligned
to do this.
The language you're going tohear is like I feel aligned to
this experience.
I feel really happy in themoment and this is what it feels
(08:50):
like to you know haveaccomplished this thing.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Yeah, these problems are opening up these
opportunities.
Like, oh, okay, it's adifferent way of thinking about
it.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
And what I like a lot is when I feel that fear come
on, is like just telling myselfI trust the process of life,
like life, life is alwaysworking out for me and just
unpacking that fear with myphrases that I know will keep me
out of that mind loop hell.
(09:19):
When you're stuck, it's oftenbecause your nervous system
doesn't feel safe to expand.
We've been talking so muchabout nervous systems and I
think that and we did talk about, like you know what, the whole
stuck thing and the rut toreinvention.
You know we have focused onsome of these because these are
(09:39):
the common patterns that come upin our client practice and
these are the things that wehave also experienced for
ourselves that if you don'tmaster those areas where you
know how to heal your nervoussystem, you know how to be
present, you know how to getinto flow state, what's your way
(09:59):
of getting into a state whereanything is fucking possible?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Centered calmness.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Right.
If you can't do that, then allof the other bigger things that
you might be wanting to do aregoing to be unobtainable.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Yeah, like going through quicksand.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
A couple quick factoids for you.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
The American Institute of Stress states 77%
of people experience physicalsymptoms from stress, much of it
tied to hustle culture andchronic forcing see, that's that
proves the point that I wasjust making is that a lot of
people, when they come intothese scenarios where they have
to make a move really quickly,they think that, um, hustle is
(10:38):
the only route to take, rightforce is the only route to take
because, um, you know a, theysee so many people doing it and
they feel like, well, you knowif, if Roger's going to do it
and Peter's going to do, I mightas well do it.
Um, but when Roger and Peterend up in the hospital, uh,
because they forced their waythrough it, uh, you could
(10:59):
actually be sitting on a beachbecause you used flow.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Right, because it also comes back to like what
happened in your childhood,where somebody had a value of
some type of hustle culture.
Most of us have had, um, youknow, a a childhood where you
were programmed by something insociety that made you feel like
(11:23):
you had to hustle.
You'll sleep when you're dead,like these types of phrases.
Right, all of that's force.
None of that is like payattention to your emotional set
points and see what feels goodto do.
None of it was like listen toyour inner guidance.
No, none of that.
That has to all be silenced andshut down in order to
experience a forced life,correct.
(11:46):
And so if your family valuedhard work, for example, like we
were talking earlier today, mikeand I went on like a five mile
walk and it's like if youprioritized being a hard worker
and that was the value set, thatwas the highest place you could
(12:08):
reach as a child and set by aparent, then you're going to
have a lot of force experienceswhere you can't just pay
attention to where you'renaturally gifted or you're
naturally drawn to because youwant to achieve and earn and
(12:34):
have this.
I'm the best worker at whateverjob and it's like that is going
to create a ripple effect inyour life.
So it doesn't mean it takesover.
It means you can take yourpower back from it once you
acknowledge it and realize whereit came from.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Yeah, and I feel like what you were saying in regards
to have it be an earlychildhood experience is that
once that happens, it embedsitself in your nervous system,
right, right?
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Yeah yeah, we talked a little bit about polyvagal
theory in one of our previousepisodes, but that is basically.
The nervous system needs safetyto enter social engagement and
creativity.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Like that last bit.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
The creativity part is crazy, exactly.
Because most things that youwant to do as an entrepreneur
and we have a lot of coaches andentrepreneurs and my coaches a
lot of corporate CEOs and it'slike that creativity part you
think it doesn't matter even ifyou aren't in a creative field
(13:40):
right.
But it does, because strategy isthen creative.
Like how creative are you withyour strategy?
How creative are you with yourum, putting even just your work
day together?
How creative are you with yourteam?
Like creativity is massive, sothe nervous system needs safety
in order to enter socialengagement and creativity.
(14:02):
But you're not stuck becauseyou're not working hard enough.
You're stuck because you'reforcing what requires flow.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
You're going in the wrong direction and I like what
you said.
It's just a different approach.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
You just have to approach it differently.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
In regards to the whole creativity, yeah, a lot of
my clients are, you know, highlevel creatives.
And you know, when I saycreativity it doesn't mean just,
you know, painting or drawingor any of that stuff.
When we seek answers tosolutions, we are tapping into
the same part of the brain thatis creative, right, we're
(14:42):
getting downloads from sourcepart of the brain that is
creative, right, we're gettingdownloads from source.
And when you keep yourself fromthat type of flow where you
have all answers at yourfingertips and you try to do it
yourself, your problemsliterally will kind of start
packing up on themselves right.
You're going to get backed upbecause there's no flow.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
But if this is totally new to you, don't worry.
We're going to help youdiagnose force versus flow and
if you decide that you want togo deeper into this world, this
is one of my foundationalprinciples that I teach.
So welcome, you're in goodhands.
You're in good hands.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
So let's talk about signs that you are in force,
right.
So if you're experiencingchronic fatigue, you're in force
, right.
If you're feeling urgency ordesperation to get something
done, I'm not talking about, youknow.
A sense of urgency is great,but that desperate part of it
that usually will knock you outof creativity and put you right
(15:41):
back into force, Saying yes outof fear and not desire.
Yes, Right.
So do I really want this job ornot really?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Or do I really want to say yes to something that I
know is a no and that I'm justafraid that the person is going
to no longer want to work withme or whatever the fear is?
Whatever the fear you'veattached to you, saying no or
setting a boundary, that's force.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Mm-hmm.
A common one is overthinkingevery decision.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
That's force.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Right or even hustling, without results.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Hustling is one thing , but when you hustle without
results, it literally means youare going in the wrong direction
.
Yeah, it means that you'repretty are going the wrong
direction.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Yeah, it means that you're pretty much going in a
circle, yeah, and that's superfrustrating, for and that's
usually the words that I hear oh, it's so frustrating.
I'm doing, you know this, thisand that, and I'm not making any
progress.
And it's like okay, becauseyou're approaching it with force
instead of flow.
So here are some signs you'rein flow Feeling spacious while
(16:46):
taking action.
Clear decisions, even if bold,where you just have a guttural
like this is a yes, or this is ano.
And then you pay attention to itlike, honor it.
Like if you get that clear,bold feeling, honor it, because
then you won't betray yourselfand then you won't be in a
(17:06):
situation where you're used tobetraying yourself.
So you stop listening to theintuitive hits, because men and
women get intuitive hits of like, oh, I shouldn't do this, yeah,
and then they do it.
And then guess what?
You're literally cutting off apart of yourself that has an
ability to know the rightdirection, to go, working with
(17:29):
joy and focus that's a sign thatyou're in flow.
Synchronicities and alignedopportunities that's massive.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
I love that because it's literally an energy game
right.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Everything is.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
You're saying yes, finally In flow.
You're saying yes, so theuniverse is like oh, you're
saying yes, Well, here you go.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Exactly, and why people get stuck a lot is they
are seeing synchronicities, andin negative things you know
where they're like oh, it's asign I shouldn't be doing this
and it's like or it's a signthat you should, but like if
you've been ignoring yourinternal compass for so long or
(18:14):
self-betraying, or you knowthere's a bunch of different
psychological ways to express it.
But if you aren't listening toyourself, then you're not going
to notice synchronicities.
The days where I'm in the mostflow, I'm like everything is a
synchronicity, everything islike an aligned moment of like
crazy magic.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Correct.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
And those are the days where I'm usually like
calling my mom or a familymember or like journaling, or I
write a song because I'm justlike this happened and then this
happened, and then I saw thisand can you believe this?
And I'm so excited.
It's the way all of us actuallyare wired when we come in, but
we lose some of that because weforce ourselves not to feel.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
This reminds me of a time a number of years ago when
I was in corporate and I wasrecruited.
Someone called me and they wererecruiting me and I didn't see
that as an opportunity.
I was fearful and I thought itwas my company testing my
loyalty and the opportunity wasdivine.
(19:19):
I was like, oh my God, this isgreat, but this might be a trick
, and I got real fearful andthen I missed real, real fearful
.
And then you know I missed thatopportunity, yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Yeah, and I've caught myself in times where I'm out
of alignment and something seemstoo good to be true and like
there's that phrase oh, if itseems too good to be true, it
probably is, and actually whatI've experienced is the opposite
.
So whoever did that great, whosaid that and programmed a bunch
of us to even know what thatphrase is?
Speaker 1 (19:49):
I think it was Lucifer who said that, yeah,
good job, good job, buddy.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
But it's actually the opposite.
Sometimes things seem too goodto be true because they are
exactly what you've asked for,but we reject them.
So are you rejecting?
You probably are in forcedstate.
In forced state you're probablyrejecting, because you're like
oh no, get this fucking scammeraway from me Like whatever.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
So yeah, if you're-.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
This is a trick.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Let's say you're on the street, you're in a good
mood, someone walks up to youand gives you $100 and you're
like, oh thanks.
But if you're skeptical, right,if you're fearful, and someone
comes up with $100, you're likeno thanks, what do I have to do
for this $100?
Right, there's always a catch.
There's always a gimmick.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Is it laced with poison?
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Exactly so.
You're going to reject it basedoff of your fears.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Yeah, yeah, and that's like a wild example for
sure, but like, let's give likea real life example.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Okay, what do you got ?
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Let's say you are a coach, right, because we have a
lot of coaching clients.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Let's say, you're a coach and somebody says to you
okay, mike.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Somebody says to you hey, I just lost my previous
coach and I'd like to hire youfor the year.
I need to decide quickly.
Here's what I used to pay myother coach.
Will this work?
Because that's what I have inmy budget and let's say it's
five times higher than whatyou've been paid.
(21:20):
What do you say?
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
And do you feel guilty?
Do you feel unworthy?
Do you feel like, oh my gosh,am I going to have to provide
five times more of the value?
Do you feel like, oh, thiscan't be true, because why
wouldn't everybody else bepaying me this?
Any of those thoughts come in.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
No only because I'm currently in a good mood right,
I'm currently in flow but thatit does bring up a good, a good
conversation, because there aretimes in my life where I'd be
like, ooh, like, like, can Ireally, you know, when the
self-worth kind of couples up ifyou're neck deep in wounds,
you're like, uh, you know, andthen what happens is you'll
(22:05):
probably say yes to it, but then, energetically, you'll fuck it
up.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Yeah, that kind of thing has happened to me and I'm
just like, oh, thank you,universe, I guess I need to
raise all of my prices.
And so I see it as that insteadof seeing it as like, oh gosh,
I'm not worth that much andthat's a waste of money.
Or I'm not worth that much andlike that's a waste of money, or
like I, how am I ever going todeliver?
You know, like they wereunhappy with a coach that they
(22:29):
spent that much money on andthey will never feel that way
with me, right?
And so when thosesynchronicities happen, it's
like divine alignment.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Yeah, that's a gift so okay.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Another sign that you're in flow calm, energy,
even when moving quickly.
This is like a superpower.
This is something that you'llfeel in flow state, but you'll
know you're not in flow statewhen you're busy and you are
cussing him and Han and like youknow, like, but motherfucker,
(23:04):
like, oh, and this you know.
Like you, you are not.
You are doing a task and youmight even be doing the task
well, but you're doing it withforce, energy, correct.
So force will feel like pushinga boulder up a hill, which is
everybody's favorite thing totalk about.
Yeah, when's the last time youpushed a boulder up a hill?
Speaker 1 (23:23):
but it will feel carried boulders up hills, but
not pushed it will feel heavyand intense and also like
impossible Flow.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Feels like riding the current you've prepared for.
Ooh, why do we default to force?
Why do you think?
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Oh my goodness, just patterns.
Yeah, default to force.
Why do you think?
Oh my goodness, just patterns.
I think we're taught ways ofdoing this, of doing things
incorrectly, because it's justbeing handed down, handed down,
handed down, handed down Cycles.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
So we live in a culture that glorifies hustle,
for sure, right, it alsoglorifies chaos and busyness,
and this is because then theycan sell you the products to
alleviate yourself from feelingthe hustle, the chaos and the
busyness.
But because it glorifies that,it makes it easy to link our
(24:19):
worth to how much we do versuswho we are, or how much we know
how to be calm or to be in astate of joy.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Yeah, I mean, many of us grew up in homes where love
or validation was conditional onperformance.
Yep Right.
So we internalize force assafety Right.
So I love this quote from thenavy seals slow is smooth and
smooth is fast yes right and Iand you know I'm a former marine
(24:53):
and I remember them teachingthat concept when they were,
when we were, uh, cleaningweapons and things like that,
where you want to do really fast, no, no, go slow, be smooth,
intentional, intentional andthen what happens is you stop
making mistakes, right, andthere's more of a body movement
to it.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
And that's such a beautiful principle because
that's everything in life.
Oh yeah, if you think about itlike, if you clean the house,
for example, which all of us do,even if you have somebody that
helps you, you will have to tidysomething on your own, unless
you have somebody there 24-7,.
You have a staff, unless youhave that, and if you do good
(25:33):
for you, if that's what you love.
But unless you have that,you're cleaning something up,
and when you're cleaningsomething up, if you clean the
counter too quickly and arewiping really fast, you could
knock something over.
That's a metaphor foreverything in your life with
(25:54):
force.
With force, you're using quick,negative, angsty, disgruntled
energy.
With flow, you're using likeyou might be whistling while
you're wiping the counter, youmight be feeling like you might
be kind of dancing.
You got music going you mightfeel like oh, like gosh, this
(26:16):
countertop is beautiful.
Like I'm so happy I invested inthis instead of this other
green formica that they had inmy kitchen.
Right, you'll be inappreciation.
You'll be looking at it like,wow, this is glorious.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Yeah, and plugging the whole.
Slow is smooth and smooth isfast.
You plug that into some of yourbig tasks, right where you want
to herp and get it done, intosome of your big tasks, right
where you want to herp and getit done.
That concept reminds us thatsustainable progress comes from
aligned pacing right, yes.
(26:52):
And we are looking for both ofthose things.
We want sustainable progress,right.
Even if it's you know, you takea step every other day towards
your goal, or every weekend youdo something, or once a month
you do something.
As long as there's some sort ofsustainable progress is nice,
um, and then I like the conceptof aligned pacing yeah, and so,
(27:13):
like, just think of this interms of what all of us have to
do.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
We all have to sleep, which most of us are like why
the fuck do we have to sleep?
But we haven't evolved out ofit, so it's obviously still
necessary.
And so, since you have to sleep, like, think of sleep as being
your aligned pacing Every dayyou get to start fresh Mm-hmm,
but only if you go to sleep,yeah, and only if you get enough
(27:37):
sleep, and only if it's qualitysleep.
And so your aligned pacing isalready set up by design.
We are literally designed andwired to take a rest, yeah, to
take breaks, correct, not tojust do.
We were not called human doings.
We are human beings, humanbeings exactly.
But your nervous system is goingto block what your mind is
(28:00):
trying to force if it doesn'tfeel safe.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Every single time.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
So anything that you're looking to make progress
on will be blocked.
It's like, literally, shaq isright there at the goal.
He's going to be like blocking,no, no, no, blocking, no, no,
no, no.
It wasn't Shaq who was thatcommercial.
Anyway, it's going to be a no,no, no on all of your things.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
A two, a bug, something, yes.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
So let's talk about how to shift from force to flow,
because this is where you'vegot the information.
You probably know what we'retalking about.
We've given you enough examples, but let's talk about
application.
So let's embody this changeShifting from force to flow.
Number one would be nervoussystem regulation.
(28:50):
So, of course, we're talkingabout breath work, we're talking
about grounding, we're talkingabout somatic practices.
Some people like to shake, somepeople somatic practices.
Some people like to shake, somepeople like rebounding, some
people like massage.
There's so many ways you canregulate your nervous system.
Find something that works foryou.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
And it's wickedly important because if you have a
regulated nervous system, youmake better decisions.
The big ones, the small ones,the medium, all decisions.
All decisions are made from aplace of love and compassion and
flow.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Yeah, and if you are unable to just sit and be
present, then you need to pullout a journal and get rid of
some of the toxic sludge that isclouding up your body and your
brain, and that can be anactivity, but it's all about
finding that regulation.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Next is embodiment practices.
And we say practices, we'retalking about things that you
kind of do normally, Habits,Habits that you can kind of
bring into your existence.
And one way to do that is toask how does this choice feel in
my body?
Right?
Is it tight or expansive?
Right, the more you check inwhen you are, you know, making a
(30:08):
decision or you're trying toget things done, the more
opportunity you have to chooseflow over force.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Right and, if it feels forced, pause and
recalibrate.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Recalibrate Exactly.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Yeah, so just adding that, like put it as a notes,
you know, in your notes app, orput a sticky note, if you like,
pen to paper.
But how does this choice feelin my body?
Tight or expansive?
Speaker 1 (30:35):
And if it feels forced, pause and recalibrate.
Don't make a decision or takean action when you are in force,
because in many cases you willfind yourself in a circular
pattern or going backwards.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Right, or you'll just be overthinking.
Which is also force, yeah, okay.
So number three would beclarity and values alignment.
This is a good check enginelight.
As we always say, am I doingthis from fear or love?
Aligned action is done withcore values, not societal
(31:11):
expectations.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
So if you have a core value of spending time with
your family but the societalexpectations are, you know
you've got to go out and makemoney, make money, make money,
make money right.
Chase the profits.
You're going to find yourselfvacating who you are Right and
putting yourself right in harm'sway of living a forceful life.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Right, harm's way of living a forceful life Right.
And then like, yeah, the answerwould be if you were choosing
just to work over what youreally wanted to do always like.
Certainly there's times whereyou have to make choices that
are part of adulting, but ifyou're always making that choice
like you have the wrongprofession because you're making
(32:00):
it out of fear that you won'thave money and the universe
isn't on a budget, there's aninfinite possibilities.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
So much money out there.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
And so much, yeah, so much money.
So number four would be restand play, my favorite.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
Yes, rest restores creativity and nervous system
safety right.
Creating space for inspirationLike that is key.
That's everything that's goingback to you know, if you are in
a happy mood, happy things cometo you.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Right.
If you are in an excited mood,excited things come to you.
If you are in a desperate mood,you are going to attract more
and more desperate peopleexperiences situations, because
you are what you attract, right.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
And where focus goes, energy flows and where a lot of
the clients that have thisstuck conversation a lot are
focusing only on what is notworking out Correct and they'll
send a voxer or a messenger.
That's like complaint,complaint, complaint, complaint.
(33:09):
I'm a victim, I'm a victim.
And it's like listen.
If that's where your focus is,then have you spent any time
being in a state of gratitudeand getting your nervous system
ready to be a vessel or ready tobe a magnet of that exact thing
that you're grateful for?
Like your energy is the magnet.
(33:32):
It will pull things to you thatyou may want because you're a
match for, or it will repel yeah.
And as many times as we saythat, I think people don't
totally understand that untilthey start applying it.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Application is everything.
It's not about hearing it abunch of times, it's about try
it.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Yeah.
Like you know Trial and error.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
Try it out, tell us what you find.
Number five is surrender anderror.
Try it out, tell us what youfind.
Number five is surrender andtrust.
So flow requires trust intiming and your preparation,
shifting from micromanaging toallowing Shifting out of
micromanaging is so hard.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
It is so hard because you feel like the devil's in
the details.
If someone doesn't know this orthat, the whole thing's going
to fall to pieces.
But to allow those things tohappen, to allow more creativity
to come in, that is the trueskill set that you want to
(34:39):
master.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
And also, I think, the trust part is massive,
because I will speak especiallyto women, because all of us that
are women experience a lot ofsituations where we cannot be
trusting and where we cannotfeel safe and where we don't get
(35:01):
to be feminine, because we arein situations where it's safer
to be masculine, it's safer tobe guarded, it's safer to put up
a mask or to not let down yourhair, so to speak.
And so the trust part ischallenging, I think, for women,
(35:25):
because they and most of myclients are women because they
want to control a situation orhave it happen much faster than
the universe is going to because, think about it, you're in
force.
And so if you're in force,forcing the situation to be safe
(35:49):
, forcing the situation to befaster, forcing the situation to
be on your timeline, all ofthat control business is all
force, energy.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
Yeah, and I would go so far as to say that for the
gentlemen out there, there aremen who are stuck in that
mindset of yes, man, I have tofucking make this happen.
I got to push, I got to push, Igot to push, I got to push, I
got to push.
And for those individuals, I'mlike no, you don't have to push
(36:20):
right, there's a divine optionwhere you can actually pull in
some of the balance within yourmale and female energies and in
many cases, a lot of my clientsare stuck because they are too
manly to allow the feminineenergy within them to come out
(36:40):
and solve a problem.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Right, like where's the intuitive hits?
Correct.
And also the imbalances in yourrelationship can be also about
force.
Correct, like if you're forcingthe energy as the male to be
like masculine dominating ratherthan masculine protecting, then
(37:03):
there's no way you're not goingto get a woman that is going to
force back.
Correct, because two people, ifone is forcing the other, one
isn't flowing.
Yeah.
Then you become an opposingforce.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
If one is forcing, we're both forcing.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
Right.
So whatever you push on, youknow an opposing force.
If one is forcing, we're bothforcing, right.
So whatever you push on pushesback.
Whatever you resist, persists,persists.
Yeah, exactly.
And so if you want your womanto be in a flow state and you
want to experience a flowy woman, you have to men hear me when I
say this you have to present asafe place for her to be
(37:43):
feminine.
You have to be a regulated,balanced masculine provider
protector.
You know all of thestereotypical things that you're
like oh fuck, yeah, I alreadythat.
But if your nervous system issuper rattled, you're not doing
that.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Yeah, and if you're doing it, and if you have done
it in force for the bulk sum ofyour life and you're now
starting to feel the effects offorce on your body and your mind
and your relationship.
Now is the time to make thatswitch right is the time to make
that switch right from a forceto flow Right, and it's not
(38:21):
difficult.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Because, okay, so flow is not passive.
This is where people think it'slike it's not passive, it's
active trust.
Yeah, it's active, like I trustthe universe, I trust you know,
if you believe in God, whateveryou pray to, you know believe
in Trust.
If you believe in God, whateveryou pray to believe in, it's
that blind faith that you havethat I'm going to trust that
(38:45):
it's going to work out.
Like I said, I trust theprocess of life and then it's
aligned action and thenregulated expansion, where you
are writing down the things know.
Hey, this is working for me.
This is not like you're doingthe work.
That's how you get to regulatedexpansion.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
Yeah, you're asking yourself these questions over
and over and over again.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
And not the questions that are like why am I like
this?
Or oh, it's you know victimwhere, oh, it's that person's
fault that's going to get you inthat circle.
It's that check.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
You know how am fault that's going to get you in that
circle.
It's that check.
Am I doing this from fear orlove?
It's an easy question to ask,and when you ask that on a
regular basis, your body isgoing to tell you yes, right, it
will give you a clear sign.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Okay, so quick game.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Okay, here we go.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
You want to play a game?
Speaker 1 (39:34):
I love games.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
All right, so this is Force vs Flow.
Let's go Okay.
Okay.
I'm just going to read ascenario and you're going to
rapid fire.
Tell me whether it's Force vsFlow.
Okay, one or the other Got itOkay Sending 10 cold DMs in a
panic.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
That's most certainly Force.
I mean, you had me in panic Goahead.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
Okay, creating content when inspired.
And consistent.
That is flow Inspiration isflow, Saying yes to another
project despite already beingexhausted, spent and like it
should be a no.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
You had me in exhaustion.
I'm going to say that is force.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Moving your body with joy before a big call or
recording a podcast.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
That is 100% flow.
You got to move your body withjoy before a big call or
recording a podcast.
That is 100% flow.
You got to move your body.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
Motion requires motion Checking your phone
immediately upon waking.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
That is a forceful habit.
That's nasty.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
Yeah, okay, meditating and setting an
intention for your meditationfirst.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
That is the gateway to a life full of flow.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
So force drains, flow sustains.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
Oh, let's say that one more time.
Speaker 2 (40:48):
Force drains, flow sustains.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
And I look back at my life and I remember every
single time when I hit rockbottom and I felt drained.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
And I was like dude.
I did all this work and itdidn't work out.
That is 100% force.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
Yes.
So alignment is your leverage,and flow is your fuel.
Speaker 3 (41:13):
I'm going to say that again.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Alignment is your leverage and flow is your fuel.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
I love that alignment is your leverage and flow is
your fuel.
I love that and let me tell youif you are an entrepreneur, you
understand what resistance isand feels like and you also know
what momentum is right.
So force is rooted in fear andit creates resistance where flow
is rooted in trust and createsmomentum.
So, again, another way ofdetermining where you are in the
(41:41):
force versus flow right, if youare resisting, you are in force
, right, trusting.
And if you are allowing this tohappen and you are feeling that
momentum, that is flow.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
Yes.
So if this was all new to youand you've never really spent
time with this one journalprompt, just sit with this
question where am I forcing andhow can I shift into flow?
And just see what comes up foryou, without judgment, with love
and with excitement inexploration, like I wonder how I
(42:18):
can shift more, because usuallywith all clients I've
experienced tiny little shifts,equal a lot of momentum, correct
, and so they build on top ofeach other and sometimes you
don't even realize the changesand the progress that you've
made, because it's subtle.
It is subtle and because subtlelittle drops of water in a cup
(42:41):
eventually fill up the cup.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Exactly, exactly.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
And you're the cup in that analogy.
Yes, all right.
Well, we enjoyed being with youtoday.
We hope that this wasempowering and inspired you to
get into flow state as often aspossible and switch and shift
and just enjoy your life.
And inspired you to get intoflow state as often as possible
and switch and shift and justenjoy your life Live in a state
of joy In joy.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
And just know that all things are temporary.
So if you find yourself in astate of force, it's temporary.
You can make a few adjustmentsand be right back on flow.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
Right, sending you the highest vibrations.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
You are held.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
You are loved.
Imagine if you were asked todance by somebody you didn't see
them dance before, which isalways the rule.
Ladies, Hear me out.
If somebody is dancing and thatyou haven't seen them dance,
just make sure it's a song, thatyou don't have to touch the
person, Because if you find outonce you're on the dance floor
that they are in a force stateversus a flow state, tell me
(43:48):
which one of those is going tobe a good time.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
It's not going to be the force state.
You're going to have a brokensomething.
Exactly, you're going to be onthe floor.
There's going to be a hurtankle.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
Okay.
So, using this analogy, thinkabout would you say yes to
dancing with yourself?
Okay, so, if you are in a statewhere you feel yucky, another
way you can check in is be likewould I dance with this person?
And if you're in a yucky?
state you're going to be like no, because that's force energy.
Nobody would say yes to that.
Nobody magnetizes to forceenergy.
(44:26):
Nobody's like oh, I can't waitto dance with the guy who rips
my arms off.
Nobody's like oh, I can't waitto dance with the guy that steps
on my feet.
Nobody says this right.
So then why are we dancing withour own life like that?
Okay, zarell just came in,who's our beautiful daughter?
And I said what's thedifference between force versus
(44:48):
flow?
And she said isn't thisinappropriate.
Speaker 3 (44:51):
Can you talk about potty talk on the podcast?
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Yeah, we talk a lot of potty talk.
Have you not listened?
Oh, I'm busted.
You're not a subscriber.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
I'm the biggest one.
I'm at home listener.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
And at home listener.
Okay, so what's the difference?
Speaker 3 (45:09):
Okay, Forrest is like a hemorrhoid.
And then Flo is just letting itout and smooth move.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
Yes, okay so Forrest is like forcing out your poop,
yes, and Flo is like just smooth, good time.
Speaker 3 (45:21):
Yes, sitting on the toilet for an hour or something,
just letting it come out, okay.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
All right.
Well, do you want to addanything?
Never force it.
Never force it.
If you force it, hemorrhoids.
If you let it flow, you're good.
Gucci, gucci, gucci.
What do you want, people?
Speaker 3 (45:42):
to know most about being in a flow state.
It means having fun.
Speaker 2 (45:44):
Yeah, and would you say that's like one of your
founding principles?
Yes, ma'am, who'd you learnthat shit from?
From Papa Bill.
Speaker 3 (45:57):
She always does that Anytime.
I say who'd you?
Speaker 2 (45:58):
learn that from.
She'll always name.
She'll say my mom, she'll saymy dad, she'll never say me.
Okay, I'm joking.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
It's both of you guys .
Yeah, okay, the empowermentcouple.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Okay, and Grandma Yogi too, yes.
Speaker 3 (46:15):
And everybody who's practically been in my life from
day one.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
Yeah, they all know how to have a good time.
Yes, okay, okay, bye.
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