June 27, 2025 • 45 mins
What if the parts of yourself you've been hiding or rejecting hold the key to your greatest power and fulfillment? In this illuminating episode, we journey into the depths of shadow work, transforming it from something intimidating into a path for profound self-liberation and empowerment.
Shadow work isn't about battling your demons—it's about reclaiming the disowned parts of yourself that are begging to be seen, both wounds and gifts alike. Your shadow, coined by Carl Jung, is that collection of traits, emotions, and abilities you've pushed into the unconscious, whether because they felt too painful, powerful, taboo, or shameful. These shadows don't disappear when ignored; they run the show from behind the curtain, creating what we call "shadow loops"—those negative thought patterns that studies show make up 80% of our thinking.
We break down five practical steps to shadow integration: naming your shadow without shame, witnessing patterns without reacting, using somatic practices to feel and release emotions, reframing shadow traits as potential strengths, and embodying your whole self through consistent ritual practices. Through personal stories, we illustrate how traits once rejected (like sensitivity) can become superpowers when properly integrated and expressed.
The most common shadow work misconceptions are demystified—from assuming the shadow is only negative (when it also contains brilliance and creativity), to confusing integration with indulgence, to believing it's a one-time project rather than a cyclical journey of growth. As Carl Jung wisely noted, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."
Your wholeness—not your perfection—is your medicine. By embracing polarities like being both strong and tender, fierce and forgiving, you access a more authentic and empowered version of yourself. What shadow trait is asking for your attention right now? Join us in making shadow work sexy, as we venture into our inner laboratories where true alchemy happens.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm stronger.
You mean coming back from thesauna?
Oh yeah.
Are we, I'm less toxic.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
What are we talking about now?
Speaker 1 (00:06):
We're talking about the shadow work and how dope it
is.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
We're making shadow work sexy, y'all, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Going back to the lab to do the shadow work bro.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I'm going back to the portal to do the shadow work.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Mm-hmm, it's waiting for you.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Welcome to the Empowerment Couple podcast,
where your path to self-masteryexpands.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
My co-host is empowerment coach Zuri Starr.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
And he's expansion coach Mikey Starr.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Together we are the Empowerment Couple.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Our mission is simple to serve you, love, so you can
make informed decisions toregain and maintain your
personal power.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
We'll take you on a journey to a life filled with
purpose, passion and limitlesspossibilities, while sharing
stories of transformation,wellness hacks and healthy
habits backed by science andancient wisdom.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Plus, we'll keep you entertained with engaging games,
banter and funny innuendosalong the way.
Each episode is an excitingblend of education,
entertainment and empowermentdesigned to help you create a
mindset to be a magnet for morelove, happiness and abundance.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Together with our special guests.
We are dedicated to sharinginformation that empowers you to
create your most beautiful lifeA one Z, a two Z, a three Z
your most beautiful life.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I got nothing.
I got nothing, I got nothing.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
I forgot what's funny about shadows.
Oh my god, it's like a feat weall got them and they all stink
right shadows are more assholes.
There's actually nothing funnyabout uh shadow work aside from
(01:52):
the fact that, uh, it's standingin between you and total
happiness and success.
You do that shadow work andyou're going to be on the on the
other side looking pretty good.
But in order to do that shadowwork, you're going to have to
like.
You're going to be on the otherside looking pretty good, but
in order to do that shadow work,you're going to have to like.
You're going to have tosurrender some comforts.
You're going to have to let goof a lot of patterns that you're
(02:13):
clutching onto like it's a liferaft.
You know what I mean Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Well, today we're going to talk about integrating
the shadow, how owning yourdarkness leads to real light.
And I was going to say there'splenty of funny things about the
shadow, because do you rememberwhen you're a little kid, the
first time that you realized youhad a shadow?
Speaker 1 (02:36):
I wish I did, but no, I don't.
That'd be cool.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Okay, well, how about this?
Have you ever seen people?
Kids usually like toddlers andthey see their shadow for the
first time on YouTube orInstagram or TikTok.
And how they like freak out andthey like run back to their
parents.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Yeah, it's very cute yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
And like, if you think about it, all of us
develop this idea that like theshadow're like there's something
wrong, but literally, like,literally, if you have a shadow,
that means that you are in thelight that is correct and so if
you think about, like, beingafraid of your own shadow, it's
kind of silly and so today isall about integrating the shadow
(03:19):
yes how owning your darknessleads to real light, because you
can't embody your full powerwithout embracing what you've
been avoiding.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Most certainly, most certainly, and you know, in
regards to the shadow work, it'ssomething that you have to do,
right, and in order to do it,you have to allow yourself the
ability to not be whole rightnow.
Right, in order for you to bewhole, you have to integrate
(03:51):
both the shadow and the light.
So it's not like you're broken.
You're just avoiding a part ofyou that's begging to be seen,
and that part is your shadow.
So, when you accept your shadow, you accept parts of you that
are both gifts and sources ofenergy.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Yeah, the shadow isn't bad, it's just unclaimed,
and everything we repress runsthe show from behind the curtain
.
So today's episode is going tobe a journey from suppression to
integration, where trueempowerment lives not just in
light, but in balance.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
In balance, and I love that word.
I'm a Libra.
It's all about balance, and Ilike what you said in regards to
the shadow.
It's running the show behindthe curtains, and that's so true
, which is why you have to dothat shadow work.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Yeah, so let's just first define what is the shadow,
because I do think that I seepeople throw this around and
it's like a little misunderstood.
Yeah, right, okay, so no shade,no shade.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
No shadow, no shadow, no shade.
No shadow, no shadow.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
The shadow is a part of our unconscious mind made up
of everything we reject,suppress or disown about
ourselves, whether painful,powerful, taboo or shameful.
So it was coined by Carl Jung.
The shadow includes both woundsand gifts hidden from conscious
(05:25):
awareness, and the examples arethe over-giver that hides
resentment.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
The people, pleaser.
That hides rage.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
I know one of those.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
The perfectionist that hides shame.
Those are just examples.
Obviously, we're going to diveinto this big time, but your
shadow is not your enemy.
It's your unloved genius indisguise.
And there's this great stat.
So, according to the NationalScience Foundation, 80% of our
(05:59):
thoughts are negative, 80% 80%.
And 95% are repetitive.
Say that one more time 80% no,the other one and 95% are
repetitive, are repetitive,that's what.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
I said, no, it's funny, but it's also very
telling, right?
But?
Speaker 2 (06:19):
much of it stems from unresolved internal conflict,
aka shadow loops.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Shadow loops.
So if this concept is not yetin your vocabulary, put it in
there Shadow loops.
So shadow loops are another wayof saying negative thought
patterns that you fall into thatare being produced by your
shadow.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Well, yes, and also that it's the part of us that
we've decided not to love.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Correct.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
And so, and usually it's like some type of
programming that hasn't beenundone, unlearned, et cetera.
But sometimes it can be like Iknow, I'm fucking better than
this, or something like that.
That can also be an example oflike when you're hiding your
gifts for a long time and thenyou're like fighting with
yourself, you're having aninternal conflict.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
When I think about shadow work, I always think of
the yin yang symbol, where youhave the white and the black,
and the white, of course, isconsciousness and the black is
subconscious or unconsciousness.
Uh, and I feel like it's also atell of of your shadow work.
And your, you know your lightwork, right?
So you have your, your normal,everyday existence.
(07:37):
Uh, that's being propelled byyour, by your shadow work, right
, you're the shadow side, thepart of you that you want to
hide from the world, but itrepresents at least half of you,
right?
So when you press it, you areat 50%.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yeah, and so let's just talk about how to look for
the shadow, because I think thatwill be helpful.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Okay.
So there's common signs thatyou can look for right.
So if you're triggered bypeople who mirror something that
you dislike in yourself, youare probably going to jump into
one of your shadow loops.
You overly identify with beingnice or spiritual or strong.
Another common sign is that youfeel shame, you project, you're
(08:22):
envious or you blame people,often for your issues, or you're
constantly self-sabotaging orattracting the same toxic
patterns right.
If it's intense, irrational orreoccurring, it's probably your
shadow calling.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Yes, Intense, irrational and reoccurring.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yeah, exactly, you're in a little shadow loop.
Neurologically, the brainprotects us by disassociating
from painful experiences, oftenstoring them in implicit
memory-driving, subconsciousbehaviors.
So there's a purpose for it,right, our brain has avenues for
(09:03):
that space.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Especially if you had a lot of trauma.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Yes, especially if you had a lot of trauma.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
This association is like a major sign of trauma, you
know, and it's like a way tocope.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
And you're going back to you know, feeling shame or
self-sabotage.
Again, that is the shadowasking for integration and by
ignoring it, you're simplyasking for more of that, more of
the shame, the blame theself-sabotage, because that's
suppression.
That is suppression exactly.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
And the goal is not to make the shadow the enemy.
You need to figure out how tointegrate it so that it is your
unloved genius, like I wassaying.
So let's talk about how this isa big one to integrate it,
because I know you're like wait,wait, wait.
How am I integrating thisasshole?
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Everyone's grabbing their pens and papers.
Okay, let's pause this.
This is interesting.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
All right, so we're going to go deep here.
So how to integrate the shadowis integration equals awareness,
plus compassion, plus choice.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Ooh choice.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
And there's five steps to integration.
So number one would be to nameit without shame.
So if this is new work to you,the best way to find out the
name is that you can journal.
What part of myself do I hide,judge or fear?
(10:38):
So if you have a rage tendencythat comes out, name it.
And the part of you that hidesthat you have maybe an addiction
or that's something youwouldn't want anybody to know
about you, name it.
If there's something youwouldn't want anybody to know
about you, name it.
If there's something thatyou're really afraid of, like
success, for example, a lot ofpeople are afraid of success.
Name it.
So what part of yourself do youhide, judge or fear?
(10:59):
And then, if you're thinkinglike if I wasn't afraid of being
rejected because that's what'sat the end of all of the shadows
, or unloved, etc.
Right, I'd admit I'm X dot, dot, dot, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
The next part is to witness the pattern without
reacting to it.
Right so you want to slow down.
When you are triggered, Ialways associate it with like a
sneeze.
Right so, you have a sneeze.
The sneeze is a biologicalresponse to an irritant, right?
So when your body's having anold wound that comes up, treat
(11:37):
it as like a sneeze.
Right so, it's not somethingthat you have to react to.
You can ask yourself what partof me is trying to protect or to
prove?
Right, so that you canexperience it without having to
react to it.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
You can just be the witness of the pattern, like
last week's episode.
We talked about reaction andtaking your power, pause, and so
that's just playing more onthat, like understanding, like
you see the pattern.
so you can choose pattern, oryou could choose peace.
So number three would be feelit to free it, so you can use
(12:18):
somatic tools like breath work,shaking, voice work, tapping.
But basically you want to feelwhat you're feeling so that you
can let it go rather than notfeel it.
And then eventually you knowthe pot is going to boil over,
so you want to let the emotionmove through you instead of
(12:39):
getting it stuck.
And people do this in the gym,people do this in the vocal
booth.
You know people do this manydifferent ways.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
The next is to reframe the shadow right, so
instead of saying I'm too much,you can try.
My intensity is my power.
Right, so you can.
And that's huge in theintegration part is how you
vocalize it.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Yeah, reframing anything is really powerful and
it's a big part of our coachingprocess.
Correct, it's justunderstanding the emotion, but
then reframing it so that youcan take your power back.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
And as far as power, shadow alchemy basically is
taking back the positiveintention that's underneath that
shadow work.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Right, because most of us are good at our core, but
then we start getting out ofbalance and then we're pushing
certain parts of us away andthen overcompensating, and it's
just creating this loop of likeexhaustion.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
So number five would be embody the whole self.
So you want to ritualize it.
So this is why we talk abouthabits a lot like movement.
What's your mantra?
What's your mirror?
Are you doing mirror work?
Are you working out?
Are you spending time in nature?
Are you singing, like for me,or are you?
Mike has a really amazingworkout schedule.
(14:02):
Are you working out?
How are you integrating yourshadow?
I would guess, because I'veseen you work out and you do
these crazy workouts, that youare integrating a shadow part of
yourself to lift really heavyweights.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, most certainly I have.
It's where I have theopportunity to express my anger
and rage in a positive way, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
And so I would say that the anger and rage that I
have denied over certain phases,I've put it into songs, or I
recently am beating the shit outof our punching bag, which has
been really fun doing lots ofkickboxing workouts, and so the
(14:50):
practice can be like today I letmy shadow trait, whatever it
might be, be seen in a safe wayand I alchemize it.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
So integration is letting your shameful parts sit
at the table without kickingthem out of the house.
Is that helpful?
Speaker 1 (15:09):
It is.
It is.
You know.
One thing I will say about theshadow work.
Like I said before, it is themost important thing that you
can do in order for you tomaintain and achieve balance.
So if shadow work isn't on yourlist of to-do items, put it at
the top of your list and yourlife will literally get better
and better as you do so.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
And so why do you think shadow work is so
confusing and why do people notintegrate it?
Let's go over the top fivereasons.
Got it?
Okay, you go first.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Okay.
So first is that they thinkthat the shadow is bad or dark
only right and, like I said,with the whole yin-yang, both
sides are equal.
They just do two differentthings right.
So many assume that the shadowonly includes shameful or
negative traits.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Yeah, that's the confusion, the truth is.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
It also includes repressed power, brilliance,
sensuality and creativityAnything that was once unsafe.
To express An example, a womanmay repress her confidence
because it triggered envy in herfamily.
That confidence becomes part ofher shadow, right?
(16:22):
It's like, oh, I'm not usingthis, so I'm going to put it in
the trunk part of her shadow.
Right?
It's like, oh, I'm not usingthis, so I'm going to put it in
the trunk.
Shadow work isn't popping thetrunk and looking at stuff that
you just threw in there.
Your shadow work actuallybecomes your co-pilot in life,
right?
So it's not something you throwin there, it's something that
you refer to to move forward inlife, if that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Yeah.
So I think, like in thatanalogy trunk, you know, like
the thing that you put in thetrunk, meaning you're repressing
, let's say, the confidence thatyou.
You know we're talking aboutthis woman who may repress her
confidence because it triggeredenvy in her family, right,
that's what you said.
So like that confidence becomespart of her shadow, meaning she
(17:06):
is hiding that part of herself.
So therefore, like, if you'reputting something in the trunk,
it's actually what should be,like the flashiest part of the
car, whether it's like the greatpaint job or like you know, but
it's meant to be seen.
And that's the thing aboutshadow work is, like, you're
(17:26):
meant to be seen fully.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Yeah, going with this whole, you know, trunk analogy,
it's like having a GPS andthrowing in the trunk to go
through, you know what I'msaying.
We're getting sideways on thisanalogy.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
This analogy is not helping nobody.
The GPS, it's the paint job,it's a co-pilot.
Okay, so number two would bethis is the reason why people
get confused and why they don'tintegrate.
They confuse integration withindulging.
And here's the thing.
(17:59):
The confusion is, people thinkembracing the shadow means
acting out the trait.
So if you happen to be like ayeller, or you're very selfish
or you're one-sided, whatever,the truth is that integration
means acknowledging the trait,understanding where it came from
.
Why are you yelling?
Why are you being selfish?
(18:20):
Why are you being one-sidedabout issues and then choosing
to express it consciously and inhealthy ways?
So an example would be insteadof lashing out in anger, you
learn to assert boundariescalmly and clearly.
So it's like, instead ofyelling, you don't need to yell.
You can be regulated and have aresponse that says this is my
(18:46):
boundary Correct and you can askfor it calmly and clearly, and
if somebody doesn't respect it,that's on them.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Okay, number three they expect it to be an
intellectual process.
Shadow work is not anintellectual process.
Many try to think their wayinto healing.
The truth is that the shadowlives in the body and
subconscious, so it oftenrequires somatic work, emotional
release and energetic practices, not just journaling or
(19:18):
affirmations.
Right so feeling it to healing.
It applies deeply here.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Feeling it to heal it , yep, okay.
So number four would be theydon't recognize projections as
shadow work invitations.
So the confusion is that people, just you know, trigger me
because they're so awful or,like you know, everybody's
become blah, blah, blah, like Ihear definitely elders saying
(19:46):
things like that oh, thisgeneration doesn't da-da, you
know, and it's like the truth isis that intense emotional
reactions are often mirrors,showing us what we've disowned
in ourselves, positive ornegative.
So an example would be, let'ssay, jealousy of an amazing
(20:07):
podcaster, and it might revealyour own silenced voice.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Yeah, and it might reveal your own silenced voice.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Yeah, like projection exactly A speaker or somebody
who's on stage who's getting allthe accolades.
If you're feeling jealous, itmeans that your voice knows it
needs to be heard as well, andif you've silenced it, you or
someone else has silenced it,because that happens too,
especially in childhood.
You need to let it out.
Honey.
What's number five?
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Number five.
Number five is the confusingone.
They think that once it'sintegrated, that it disappears,
right?
So the confusion is I didshadow work last year, so I'm
done, right?
Nope, and the truth isintegration is cyclical, not
linear, right?
New life stages, relationshipsor challenges will reveal new
(20:56):
layers right, say that again.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
new layers, yeah, new layers.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
It's like onions, right.
So that's part of the growthcycle, right?
It's not about never beingtriggered again.
It's about recovering with morelove and awareness each time.
Right, so you're not fallinginto the same pit over and over
again.
Now you're jumping over it.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
And oftentimes I feel like the integration part it
has to be cyclical, becausethat's how we expand.
So, like you, you will getchallenges.
You think you're healed.
Okay, well, let's see.
That's how the universe works.
It's like how healed are you?
You know, are you this, you,are you this healed, or are you
this healed?
And there are varying reactionsand responses.
(21:38):
And so if you think that doingthe shadow work at one point
like I did all this work it'slike honey, this is earth.
You're going to be doing workuntil you're done and when
you're done you're no longerhere.
That's earth school.
So let's just cover reallyquickly how to embody balance.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Yes, before we move on, I just want to remind you
that the shadow isn't all bad.
There are hidden gifts in theretoo.
So when you go into that shadowwork, don't go in there
thinking, oh, I'm going to goand deal with my demons.
You probably will also uncovera bunch of latent talents that
are eager for expression.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Like I'm going to share a personal story real
quick.
So, for example, when I wasyounger, I would be told I'm too
sensitive and because I had asensitivity about me that I
would, you know, use to writesongs.
You know, I started writingwhen I was like five years old
and after something bad happenedin our family, um, well,
(22:43):
somebody died, you know, my, mybrother died when I was five, my
first brother and, um, I wrotea song and then I was like, oh
wow, I really like, like doingthis.
This is fun.
And I was little.
This is me recording into atape and just finding a way
(23:04):
through, and also the desire tomake your family happier,
because everybody's grieving,but just finding how to take
something and turn it intosomething.
And if I had listened tosomebody who told me I was too
sensitive, then I would haverejected the part of me that
felt enough pain to write thesong.
And now, as an adult, I usethat sensitivity as part of my
(23:28):
coaching.
Is that I have the intuitivedownloads, because I am
sensitive and because I cansense energy and because I can
sense when there is a solutionor a shortcut for a client.
And if I had not integratedthat shadow part of myself which
some would call that weak, likeif you cry easily or if you
(23:52):
laugh easily.
Those are both part of beingsensitive, but if I had rejected
them then I wouldn't be who Iam now and I also would be not
fulfilling my purpose of beinghere.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
And to continue that you would not have been able to
help the hundreds, if notthousands, of people who you've
already helped.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Yes, and thank you for saying that.
But also, I think mostimportantly is, yes, who I've
served, but also that I didn'tserve my purpose and so,
therefore, I would have not beenfulfilled.
Correct, like why am I here,you know, like, which is where a
lot of people end up suffering.
Correct, and so not believingthat person who said you're too
(24:38):
sensitive, um is is, you know.
I rejected their statementabout me rather than rejecting
the, the sensitive part ofmyself, which is part of my
superpower.
It's part of how I can love sohard.
So I think that hopefully, thatexample gives you perspective
of like.
You have the choice to see yourshadow as a part of you that
(25:02):
you can integrate throughoutyour entire life, and it will
change your life, like.
You were given that shadow fora reason, so my suggestion is to
embody it as much as possible.
Oh, yeah, for a reason.
So my suggestion is to embodyit as much as possible and find
out what it will do for you,because a balanced, sensitive
person can serve like none other.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
But an imbalanced, sensitive person is going to
have a hard time, exactly sojust to make the shadow work
real sexy.
All I just want to say is, ifyou are not like banging out
your purpose, it's because yourpurpose is probably still hidden
in your shadow.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
And once you bang up that purpose, money experiences,
health, love, all that stuffwill literally be attracted to
you, yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Well, you'll align to it.
Correct, because it really justall comes down to alignment.
Is that if you're rejectingsomething, the universe is going
to push harder, you know,because you are hiding your gift
, like you came in with sometype of gift yeah, and most of
us come in with lots of gifts.
You know, like sensitive wasjust one thing that I remember,
(26:15):
like really finding that thestrength of my purpose here is
something that I was shunned for.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
And you have more gifts, of course, all of us do.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
All of us have all kinds of things that come
through.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
I've seen glimmers of all kinds of gifts and I'm like
, oh gosh, sorry.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Likewise, thank you.
Do you want to share a personalstory?
Speaker 1 (26:37):
No, we don't have time.
I'm long-winded.
Let's get to the next part.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Okay, all right.
So number four would beembodying balance, and basically
what we're talking about isfiguring out how to find the
balance of using the shadow andalso finding the balance of the
shadow.
So, true, empowerment oftencomes from polarization and
(27:04):
opposites, right.
So, for example, you can bevery strong and very tender.
So, like my sensitivity story,like I am strong as fuck, like
you haven't met a strongerperson, likely, but I am super
sensitive and empathic.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
I will go so far as to say is that you really can't
be strong unless you're tenderat the same time.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yeah, so it's like there's often you'll find your
shadow in polarity, correct.
So another one.
Do you want to give an example?
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Fierceness over being forgiving.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Fierceness and forgiving.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Yes, you can be fierce and forgiving at the same
time and again, just like thestrong and tender, you can't be
fierce without being forgiven.
You need that contrast right,and that's going to come from
the shadow work.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Most likely you have.
That is, the thing is thatyou're not often given a part of
yourself without its oppositeis what we're saying here.
So, for example, you can beboundaried, but you're also
probably available, and sofinding the balance between the
two, no trespassing boundaried.
(28:10):
Boundaried.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
And then there's you can also be sexual and spiritual
at the same time.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
I often think that they are totally separate
because religion has made usbelieve that sex is bad.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
I didn't say sexual and religious.
I said sexual and spiritual.
Yeah, you can be both.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
And honestly, like in a lot of my coaching with women
, we do talk a lot about thisbecause we are sexual beings and
if you are repressing yoursexual body, then you know
there's a part of your spiritthat is diminished and not
fulfilled.
Correct, so finding the sexualand spiritual, that's how you're
(28:51):
embodying the balance of whoyou came in to be.
There's a good quote from theshadow work king Carl Jung,
which is until you make theunconscious conscious, it will
direct your life and you willcall it fate.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Fate Ooh, I love that word.
Fate, oh, it must be fate, no,it's-.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Or bad luck.
People will say bad luck.
I don't know why this ishappening.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Well, your shadow does.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Yeah, you are creating it.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Have a conversation with it.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
Well, you know, your wholeness is your medicine.
It's not your perfection, right?
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Your wholeness is your medicine.
It's your medicine.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Right is your medicine right, so you can be
whole.
And it doesn't have to comeacross as being perfectionist,
right, you can come across asjust being healthy and happy.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Yeah, so your wholeness is like something that
you look to get medicine fromand that you take as medicine.
So you're looking for thatbalance and you have to give
yourself grace so that you don'tfeel like you have to be
(30:02):
perfect.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Correct.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Yeah, okay, let's play a game.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
I need a game.
I need a giggle Talking theheavy stuff here I mean the
shadows over the air are justlike okay, bro, we're not done
yet, okay stuff here.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
I mean the shadows over there are just like, okay,
bro, we're not done yet.
Okay, so I'm going to read offa trait and then like selfish,
you know control, etc.
Just a trait, right, Okay, andthen you're going to guess
whether it's a shadow or asuperpower.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Ooh, okay.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
And then unpack like how that trait can be integrated
so it can be a power, Becauseyou know spoiler alert most
things can be used.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Yes, all things can be used, all things can be, used
.
All things are fuel.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Except for there's a couple, though, that I was
thinking like when I was workingon this game.
I was like, um, I don't knowhow that could be used.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
Okay yes, you know what I mean, so let's just get
back to the game.
Okay, here we go we got serious.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
What else do you want to talk about Politics?
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Oh, here we go Politics.
No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Okay, I'm going to read off a trait, okay, and then
you're going to tell me whetherit's a shadow or a superpower,
and then we'll unpack how thetrait can be integrated.
Got it and use this power.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Yes, okay, let's do it, let's do it, okay.
So anger, anger is mostcertainly a what's the trigger,
right.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Shadow, shadow, yeah, yeah.
Or a superpower, it's a shadow,we're playing shadow, or
superpower, Shadow, orsuperpower, so anger is most
certainly a shadow.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
I have found that anger is easily transmuted to
focus, so it can be a superpower.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Yes, so it's a shadow , but it can be integrated and
what it looks like would beexpressed with clarity, not
chaos, oh, okay, yeah, yeah,yeah, yeah so like when you're
anger, anger when you're angry,can't talk.
I'm a podcaster.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
When your bound read had been.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Your bound read and anger.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Your over bound read.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Okay.
So when you're angry, you canexpress it with clarity and,
like you know, say exactly inmaybe a stern manner if you're
having a conversation, but alsoyou can express it by using it
to be creative with you knowthat mean like anger is a good
(32:28):
driver if you have a lot of crapto do.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
That is correct.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
So if you express it with clarity, okay, I'm going to
use this frustration of thisthing.
Frustration is a form of anger,fear is a form of anger, and so
just not expressing it withchaos.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Yes, the difference would be getting super, super
angry, going outside with an axand cutting a bunch of trees.
That's chaos.
The other thing would bedeterrent anger and stack a
bunch of wood for winter right,which requires a lot of physical
strength.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
but if you're angry, you've got tons of strength For
reals.
Okay, here's another one.
How about sadness?
Okay, here's another one.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
How about sadness?
Sadness definitely shadow.
Again, everything can betransmuted, so I can see sadness
being a way of clar what'sgoing on in your heart.
That's my answer.
(33:39):
What do you got?
Sadness.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
No, I think it's a shadow, for sure.
I think the way to use it as asuperpower is just transmutation
.
Honestly, a lot of these aregoing to be that answer.
Yeah, but it's like what youturn it into.
You know, some people turnsadness into a non-profit that
supports whatever they're sadabout Some people use.
So it's a choice.
(34:01):
That's.
The thing about shadows is thatif you want to integrate them,
they can remain a shadow, whichmeans you're repressing them and
you're not integrating, or theyare what drives you.
What can be a superpower orgrief.
You know somebody losessomebody.
Then they turn, you know, tohelping people overcome grief,
(34:22):
Like you see that pattern overand over again.
That would be transmutation ofsaid trait.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Yeah, I think that you know all of all of these are
great, um, uh great ingredientsto be used and baked into
something beautiful and tastyand savory.
You can take sadness and bakeit into a positive cake, I don't
know.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
What if you're super positive all the time?
Speaker 1 (34:51):
I would say, that's.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
People are always like oh, toxic positivity.
I'm like toxic positivity.
No, but what if you're positive?
What if you just naturally camein very positive?
You're just the optimistic kindof person.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
Um, I would say that's a superpower.
Um exist in tandem with eachother, right?
So if you are super positive,it may be that you are working
your ass off to stay away fromyour shadows.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
Polar opposite of positivity is negativity.
Positivity is negativity, andso you have to find out how to
use the negativity that isaround you or that you are
hiding in yourself, to work forthe trait that you want to
experience the most, and if it'spositivity, then the negative
negativity has to be put to workand integrated.
(35:48):
Be an alchemist.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
Be an alchemist exactly.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Yeah, so your trigger is your teacher Mm-hmm and your
shame.
That's just power waiting forpermission.
So time to integrate thatshadow.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Yes, yes, yeah, and I like what you said about it's
waiting for permission becauseit's ready to go.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Mm-hmm, right, it wants to be it came in ready.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
It wants to be integrated, right.
So I'm also playing with thisidea that your whole shadow self
is living its whole life,asking for permission to bring
you into the party, becauseyou're the life of the party.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
Right, so bring your shadow work, and your shadow is
going to bestow upon you allkinds of gifts and healing
modalities.
It's just a wonderful place tovisit.
Yeah, check it out, the journalprompt for this week.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
Question of the week is what shadow trait is asking
for my attention right now?
Speaker 1 (36:56):
That is beautiful.
Well, I believe that the shadowis where the soul hides its
light, right?
So there's plenty of light foryou to reach.
The minute you go into yourshadows, it's not all dark.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Yeah, and it's asking to be brought into the light.
So because it needs to beintegrated.
That's the whole thing.
That's a whole podcast rightthere.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
That's it.
Integrate your shadow and youwill be happier.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
And so we want to invite you to not hide your
shadow.
Harmonize with it, find how itcan work for you.
The funniest part of shadowwork, and why I think it's so
confusing, is because it'scalled shadow, so people think
like they have to go into, likethe shadowy part of the woods.
Uh-oh, you know've got to go inthe hood Demons living in
(37:47):
darkness and things stink.
Oh my gosh, there's a bog.
You always talk about a bog.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
You've got to use the outhouse.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Yeah, like, oh, it's going to be awful.
And I'm here to tell you thatit doesn't have to be awful.
I think that we are approachingthe shadow work with not the
clarity that it needs.
So the point of us sharing allof this is to give you to put
some light on that shadow.
The shadow is pretty fuckingdope because you are dope and
(38:16):
you didn't come into thisplaying field to have just part
of you yourself being seen.
You know to wear some mask likeoh, I'm never angry, I'm never
sad, I'm never.
I don't know.
I feel like name the sevendwarfs.
I'm never sneezy, sleepy I'mperfect and social media will
(38:39):
have you believing kind of thatyou know, and just like all
media will have you believe likeyou know, even like a tampon
commercial, like why are theyskipping and jumping?
Yeah, exactly, don't they havecramps, Aren't they don't?
They just want to eat and layon the couch Like Where's the
chocolate?
Where's the chocolate?
And there's none.
They're always playing on abeach in white.
(38:59):
I'm like who the fuck wearswhite.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Why white?
I'm like who the fuck wearswhite.
Why does the husband look happy?
Husband's not happy, no one'shappy.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
Nobody's happy.
Like, just be so fucking realright now, like that's the
phrase that I just find myselfsaying over and over again, and
to myself as well, because Iwant to integrate the shadow
parts of myself.
And the shadow parts of myselfhave taken a backseat in my life
(39:28):
, and so when I do this workwith clients, I'm always
laughing at like okay, so whatdo you think your shadow is?
And the common answers are like, oh well, I'm really lazy.
And I'm like, oh okay, soyou're really lazy.
Okay, so tell me how you'rereally lazy.
And they'll be like oh well,you know, I didn't get to where
(39:49):
I wanted to be in this part ofphase by this phase of my life.
I was like, oh okay, and why isthat?
Well, because I just didn'twork hard enough.
And I'm like oh, okay, and whyis that?
Oh, because I'm lazy and I'mlike or maybe my hallucination
is that you weren't lazy,because how did you accomplish,
(40:13):
you know, and oftentimes theseare from like high achievers,
you know, and they're likesaying all the things that they
did, you know, to the public,but then inside, they believe
that they are lazy.
And so you have to be carefulnot to like associate a belief,
a false belief, a limitingbelief, with a shadow, because
if you're lazy, there's no wayyou could be the person that you
(40:35):
you are, especially the peoplethat I'm referencing, like my
clients, you know, which I can'tname them, um, but uh, because
of confidentiality.
But like thinking, thinking ofhow people think the shadow is
something that they're ashamedof, and sometimes the thing that
you're ashamed of is that youaren't living a life in
(40:55):
alignment.
That's why things aren'thappening as fast for you.
You were pushing instead ofallowing yourself to be pulled,
and the shadow of that is just alot of confusion, a lot of the
wrong programming.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
I totally agree.
Let me ask you a question If we, if you were to name the shadow
something else, right, whatwould you name it?
To eat, to soften the load ormake it more attractive to visit
?
Speaker 2 (41:30):
I would call it one of the necessary paths on your
journey.
The shadow is, like one of themost necessary that you have to
take, like we've talked so muchheavy stuff in the past couple
of months, like your wounds.
I need to know your woundmother wound, father wound so
(41:51):
that I can help you.
And then I need to know howit's triggered you which is why
we talked about reactions andthen I need to know what is the
shadow that you are hiding?
What haven't you brought intothe light?
And if you haven't brought intothe light that you have a deep
core wound about, you know, likemy example of sensitivity, like
(42:11):
if you have that wound, thenhow are we going to ever use it?
Like, how are we going to?
If you're hiding it?
It can't be used, correct,nobody knows you have it.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
That is correct.
Not even you have it.
That is correct, not even you.
No, yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:27):
And you might know that you have it, but instead of
looking at it for what it is asa superpower, you're looking at
it like oh, it's a shadow.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
I would say something like going back to the
laboratory right, going backinto, like a lair or a cavern
where I do my work right, whereI do my alchemical work.
You know I have a big cauldron,I have my libraries.
(42:56):
You know I'm going thereregularly to upgrade who I am
and how I can produce what Iwant to on this world, right?
So if I'm going back to mylayer, that's nice and easy,
right, I can close my eyes andmeditate and do the somatic work
and actually be in my layer.
That for me feels easier to saythan I'm going to do my shadow
work.
You know what I'm saying.
(43:17):
So I try to make it easy toenter into shadow work by
calling it something sexier.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
But it's still the shadow work.
You got a secret lair.
You're not telling me about it.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
I got that lair, you know.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
That lair you're going back to, it's got a
cauldron.
What else is there?
Speaker 1 (43:33):
Going back to the lab .
Speaker 2 (43:34):
What.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
Without a mic to grab .
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
Wait, going back to the lab without a mic to grab.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
Eric Going back to the lab without a mic to grab
Eric B Rockham.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
I know who it is, but you are Mike too.
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
Without a mic to grab .
Oh, that's nice.
Oh, see I grabbed this mic,going back to the lab to get a
different version of Mike tograb you know what I'm saying?
Yes, I like that, let's goright now, let's see what else
we can sp I would love to inviteyou to my lab, but it's a
one-person party.
You can't come and do my work.
But I can show you what I'mproducing.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
Yes, I will see it, because I'll reflect it to you.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
I see you also having a beautiful mystic lair
somewhere in your mind.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
I got a mystic lair right.
I got a portal.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
You got a portal.
Right, I got a portal.
You got a portal.
Exactly, I got a portal.
You got a portal too.
My lab has a portal and acauldron.
It has all kinds of cool shit.
Boom, I got a reset button inthere too.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
So do I.
Yeah, it's nice.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
I got to use it more often, but it's there.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
You need to use my button more often and we are
sending you the highestvibration.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
You are held.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
You are loved.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
Sorry, my game.
The changes are right here.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
Pick whatever one you want.
Let's stop being nerds and hangout.
Speaker 1 (45:10):
Yes, bye, vagina.
Hey, that's the shadow.
Honey, that's in the shadow.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
Hey, that's the shadow honey.
No, I think I didn't get it.
I didn't get it.
The editor says I think Ididn't get it, I didn't get it.
The editor says oh, I didn'tget it.
Sorry, can't roll back the tape, didn't get it.
You're held your love and we'redone Bye.
Thank you.
I'm stronger.
You mean coming back from thesauna?
Oh yeah.
Are we, I'm less toxic.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
What are we talking about now?
Speaker 1 (00:06):
We're talking about the shadow work and how dope it
is.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
We're making shadow work sexy, y'all, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Going back to the lab to do the shadow work bro.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I'm going back to the portal to do the shadow work.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Mm-hmm, it's waiting for you.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Welcome to the Empowerment Couple podcast,
where your path to self-masteryexpands.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
My co-host is empowerment coach Zuri Starr.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
And he's expansion coach Mikey Starr.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Together we are the Empowerment Couple.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Our mission is simple to serve you, love, so you can
make informed decisions toregain and maintain your
personal power.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
We'll take you on a journey to a life filled with
purpose, passion and limitlesspossibilities, while sharing
stories of transformation,wellness hacks and healthy
habits backed by science andancient wisdom.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Plus, we'll keep you entertained with engaging games,
banter and funny innuendosalong the way.
Each episode is an excitingblend of education,
entertainment and empowermentdesigned to help you create a
mindset to be a magnet for morelove, happiness and abundance.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Together with our special guests.
We are dedicated to sharinginformation that empowers you to
create your most beautiful lifeA one Z, a two Z, a three Z
your most beautiful life.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I got nothing.
I got nothing, I got nothing.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
I forgot what's funny about shadows.
Oh my god, it's like a feat weall got them and they all stink
right shadows are more assholes.
There's actually nothing funnyabout uh shadow work aside from
(01:52):
the fact that, uh, it's standingin between you and total
happiness and success.
You do that shadow work andyou're going to be on the on the
other side looking pretty good.
But in order to do that shadowwork, you're going to have to
like.
You're going to be on the otherside looking pretty good, but
in order to do that shadow work,you're going to have to like.
You're going to have tosurrender some comforts.
You're going to have to let goof a lot of patterns that you're
(02:13):
clutching onto like it's a liferaft.
You know what I mean Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Well, today we're going to talk about integrating
the shadow, how owning yourdarkness leads to real light.
And I was going to say there'splenty of funny things about the
shadow, because do you rememberwhen you're a little kid, the
first time that you realized youhad a shadow?
Speaker 1 (02:36):
I wish I did, but no, I don't.
That'd be cool.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Okay, well, how about this?
Have you ever seen people?
Kids usually like toddlers andthey see their shadow for the
first time on YouTube orInstagram or TikTok.
And how they like freak out andthey like run back to their
parents.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Yeah, it's very cute yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
And like, if you think about it, all of us
develop this idea that like theshadow're like there's something
wrong, but literally, like,literally, if you have a shadow,
that means that you are in thelight that is correct and so if
you think about, like, beingafraid of your own shadow, it's
kind of silly and so today isall about integrating the shadow
(03:19):
yes how owning your darknessleads to real light, because you
can't embody your full powerwithout embracing what you've
been avoiding.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Most certainly, most certainly, and you know, in
regards to the shadow work, it'ssomething that you have to do,
right, and in order to do it,you have to allow yourself the
ability to not be whole rightnow.
Right, in order for you to bewhole, you have to integrate
(03:51):
both the shadow and the light.
So it's not like you're broken.
You're just avoiding a part ofyou that's begging to be seen,
and that part is your shadow.
So, when you accept your shadow, you accept parts of you that
are both gifts and sources ofenergy.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Yeah, the shadow isn't bad, it's just unclaimed,
and everything we repress runsthe show from behind the curtain
.
So today's episode is going tobe a journey from suppression to
integration, where trueempowerment lives not just in
light, but in balance.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
In balance, and I love that word.
I'm a Libra.
It's all about balance, and Ilike what you said in regards to
the shadow.
It's running the show behindthe curtains, and that's so true
, which is why you have to dothat shadow work.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Yeah, so let's just first define what is the shadow,
because I do think that I seepeople throw this around and
it's like a little misunderstood.
Yeah, right, okay, so no shade,no shade.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
No shadow, no shadow, no shade.
No shadow, no shadow.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
The shadow is a part of our unconscious mind made up
of everything we reject,suppress or disown about
ourselves, whether painful,powerful, taboo or shameful.
So it was coined by Carl Jung.
The shadow includes both woundsand gifts hidden from conscious
(05:25):
awareness, and the examples arethe over-giver that hides
resentment.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
The people, pleaser.
That hides rage.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
I know one of those.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
The perfectionist that hides shame.
Those are just examples.
Obviously, we're going to diveinto this big time, but your
shadow is not your enemy.
It's your unloved genius indisguise.
And there's this great stat.
So, according to the NationalScience Foundation, 80% of our
(05:59):
thoughts are negative, 80% 80%.
And 95% are repetitive.
Say that one more time 80% no,the other one and 95% are
repetitive, are repetitive,that's what.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
I said, no, it's funny, but it's also very
telling, right?
But?
Speaker 2 (06:19):
much of it stems from unresolved internal conflict,
aka shadow loops.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Shadow loops.
So if this concept is not yetin your vocabulary, put it in
there Shadow loops.
So shadow loops are another wayof saying negative thought
patterns that you fall into thatare being produced by your
shadow.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Well, yes, and also that it's the part of us that
we've decided not to love.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Correct.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
And so, and usually it's like some type of
programming that hasn't beenundone, unlearned, et cetera.
But sometimes it can be like Iknow, I'm fucking better than
this, or something like that.
That can also be an example oflike when you're hiding your
gifts for a long time and thenyou're like fighting with
yourself, you're having aninternal conflict.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
When I think about shadow work, I always think of
the yin yang symbol, where youhave the white and the black,
and the white, of course, isconsciousness and the black is
subconscious or unconsciousness.
Uh, and I feel like it's also atell of of your shadow work.
And your, you know your lightwork, right?
So you have your, your normal,everyday existence.
(07:37):
Uh, that's being propelled byyour, by your shadow work, right
, you're the shadow side, thepart of you that you want to
hide from the world, but itrepresents at least half of you,
right?
So when you press it, you areat 50%.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yeah, and so let's just talk about how to look for
the shadow, because I think thatwill be helpful.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Okay.
So there's common signs thatyou can look for right.
So if you're triggered bypeople who mirror something that
you dislike in yourself, youare probably going to jump into
one of your shadow loops.
You overly identify with beingnice or spiritual or strong.
Another common sign is that youfeel shame, you project, you're
(08:22):
envious or you blame people,often for your issues, or you're
constantly self-sabotaging orattracting the same toxic
patterns right.
If it's intense, irrational orreoccurring, it's probably your
shadow calling.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Yes, Intense, irrational and reoccurring.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yeah, exactly, you're in a little shadow loop.
Neurologically, the brainprotects us by disassociating
from painful experiences, oftenstoring them in implicit
memory-driving, subconsciousbehaviors.
So there's a purpose for it,right, our brain has avenues for
(09:03):
that space.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Especially if you had a lot of trauma.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Yes, especially if you had a lot of trauma.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
This association is like a major sign of trauma, you
know, and it's like a way tocope.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
And you're going back to you know, feeling shame or
self-sabotage.
Again, that is the shadowasking for integration and by
ignoring it, you're simplyasking for more of that, more of
the shame, the blame theself-sabotage, because that's
suppression.
That is suppression exactly.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
And the goal is not to make the shadow the enemy.
You need to figure out how tointegrate it so that it is your
unloved genius, like I wassaying.
So let's talk about how this isa big one to integrate it,
because I know you're like wait,wait, wait.
How am I integrating thisasshole?
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Everyone's grabbing their pens and papers.
Okay, let's pause this.
This is interesting.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
All right, so we're going to go deep here.
So how to integrate the shadowis integration equals awareness,
plus compassion, plus choice.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Ooh choice.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
And there's five steps to integration.
So number one would be to nameit without shame.
So if this is new work to you,the best way to find out the
name is that you can journal.
What part of myself do I hide,judge or fear?
(10:38):
So if you have a rage tendencythat comes out, name it.
And the part of you that hidesthat you have maybe an addiction
or that's something youwouldn't want anybody to know
about you, name it.
If there's something youwouldn't want anybody to know
about you, name it.
If there's something thatyou're really afraid of, like
success, for example, a lot ofpeople are afraid of success.
Name it.
So what part of yourself do youhide, judge or fear?
(10:59):
And then, if you're thinkinglike if I wasn't afraid of being
rejected because that's what'sat the end of all of the shadows
, or unloved, etc.
Right, I'd admit I'm X dot, dot, dot, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
The next part is to witness the pattern without
reacting to it.
Right so you want to slow down.
When you are triggered, Ialways associate it with like a
sneeze.
Right so, you have a sneeze.
The sneeze is a biologicalresponse to an irritant, right?
So when your body's having anold wound that comes up, treat
(11:37):
it as like a sneeze.
Right so, it's not somethingthat you have to react to.
You can ask yourself what partof me is trying to protect or to
prove?
Right, so that you canexperience it without having to
react to it.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
You can just be the witness of the pattern, like
last week's episode.
We talked about reaction andtaking your power, pause, and so
that's just playing more onthat, like understanding, like
you see the pattern.
so you can choose pattern, oryou could choose peace.
So number three would be feelit to free it, so you can use
(12:18):
somatic tools like breath work,shaking, voice work, tapping.
But basically you want to feelwhat you're feeling so that you
can let it go rather than notfeel it.
And then eventually you knowthe pot is going to boil over,
so you want to let the emotionmove through you instead of
(12:39):
getting it stuck.
And people do this in the gym,people do this in the vocal
booth.
You know people do this manydifferent ways.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
The next is to reframe the shadow right, so
instead of saying I'm too much,you can try.
My intensity is my power.
Right, so you can.
And that's huge in theintegration part is how you
vocalize it.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Yeah, reframing anything is really powerful and
it's a big part of our coachingprocess.
Correct, it's justunderstanding the emotion, but
then reframing it so that youcan take your power back.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
And as far as power, shadow alchemy basically is
taking back the positiveintention that's underneath that
shadow work.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Right, because most of us are good at our core, but
then we start getting out ofbalance and then we're pushing
certain parts of us away andthen overcompensating, and it's
just creating this loop of likeexhaustion.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
So number five would be embody the whole self.
So you want to ritualize it.
So this is why we talk abouthabits a lot like movement.
What's your mantra?
What's your mirror?
Are you doing mirror work?
Are you working out?
Are you spending time in nature?
Are you singing, like for me,or are you?
Mike has a really amazingworkout schedule.
(14:02):
Are you working out?
How are you integrating yourshadow?
I would guess, because I'veseen you work out and you do
these crazy workouts, that youare integrating a shadow part of
yourself to lift really heavyweights.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, most certainly I have.
It's where I have theopportunity to express my anger
and rage in a positive way, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
And so I would say that the anger and rage that I
have denied over certain phases,I've put it into songs, or I
recently am beating the shit outof our punching bag, which has
been really fun doing lots ofkickboxing workouts, and so the
(14:50):
practice can be like today I letmy shadow trait, whatever it
might be, be seen in a safe wayand I alchemize it.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
So integration is letting your shameful parts sit
at the table without kickingthem out of the house.
Is that helpful?
Speaker 1 (15:09):
It is.
It is.
You know.
One thing I will say about theshadow work.
Like I said before, it is themost important thing that you
can do in order for you tomaintain and achieve balance.
So if shadow work isn't on yourlist of to-do items, put it at
the top of your list and yourlife will literally get better
and better as you do so.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
And so why do you think shadow work is so
confusing and why do people notintegrate it?
Let's go over the top fivereasons.
Got it?
Okay, you go first.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Okay.
So first is that they thinkthat the shadow is bad or dark
only right and, like I said,with the whole yin-yang, both
sides are equal.
They just do two differentthings right.
So many assume that the shadowonly includes shameful or
negative traits.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Yeah, that's the confusion, the truth is.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
It also includes repressed power, brilliance,
sensuality and creativityAnything that was once unsafe.
To express An example, a womanmay repress her confidence
because it triggered envy in herfamily.
That confidence becomes part ofher shadow, right?
(16:22):
It's like, oh, I'm not usingthis, so I'm going to put it in
the trunk part of her shadow.
Right?
It's like, oh, I'm not usingthis, so I'm going to put it in
the trunk.
Shadow work isn't popping thetrunk and looking at stuff that
you just threw in there.
Your shadow work actuallybecomes your co-pilot in life,
right?
So it's not something you throwin there, it's something that
you refer to to move forward inlife, if that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Yeah.
So I think, like in thatanalogy trunk, you know, like
the thing that you put in thetrunk, meaning you're repressing
, let's say, the confidence thatyou.
You know we're talking aboutthis woman who may repress her
confidence because it triggeredenvy in her family, right,
that's what you said.
So like that confidence becomespart of her shadow, meaning she
(17:06):
is hiding that part of herself.
So therefore, like, if you'reputting something in the trunk,
it's actually what should be,like the flashiest part of the
car, whether it's like the greatpaint job or like you know, but
it's meant to be seen.
And that's the thing aboutshadow work is, like, you're
(17:26):
meant to be seen fully.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Yeah, going with this whole, you know, trunk analogy,
it's like having a GPS andthrowing in the trunk to go
through, you know what I'msaying.
We're getting sideways on thisanalogy.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
This analogy is not helping nobody.
The GPS, it's the paint job,it's a co-pilot.
Okay, so number two would bethis is the reason why people
get confused and why they don'tintegrate.
They confuse integration withindulging.
And here's the thing.
(17:59):
The confusion is, people thinkembracing the shadow means
acting out the trait.
So if you happen to be like ayeller, or you're very selfish
or you're one-sided, whatever,the truth is that integration
means acknowledging the trait,understanding where it came from
.
Why are you yelling?
Why are you being selfish?
(18:20):
Why are you being one-sidedabout issues and then choosing
to express it consciously and inhealthy ways?
So an example would be insteadof lashing out in anger, you
learn to assert boundariescalmly and clearly.
So it's like, instead ofyelling, you don't need to yell.
You can be regulated and have aresponse that says this is my
(18:46):
boundary Correct and you can askfor it calmly and clearly, and
if somebody doesn't respect it,that's on them.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Okay, number three they expect it to be an
intellectual process.
Shadow work is not anintellectual process.
Many try to think their wayinto healing.
The truth is that the shadowlives in the body and
subconscious, so it oftenrequires somatic work, emotional
release and energetic practices, not just journaling or
(19:18):
affirmations.
Right so feeling it to healing.
It applies deeply here.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Feeling it to heal it , yep, okay.
So number four would be theydon't recognize projections as
shadow work invitations.
So the confusion is that people, just you know, trigger me
because they're so awful or,like you know, everybody's
become blah, blah, blah, like Ihear definitely elders saying
(19:46):
things like that oh, thisgeneration doesn't da-da, you
know, and it's like the truth isis that intense emotional
reactions are often mirrors,showing us what we've disowned
in ourselves, positive ornegative.
So an example would be, let'ssay, jealousy of an amazing
(20:07):
podcaster, and it might revealyour own silenced voice.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Yeah, and it might reveal your own silenced voice.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Yeah, like projection exactly A speaker or somebody
who's on stage who's getting allthe accolades.
If you're feeling jealous, itmeans that your voice knows it
needs to be heard as well, andif you've silenced it, you or
someone else has silenced it,because that happens too,
especially in childhood.
You need to let it out.
Honey.
What's number five?
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Number five.
Number five is the confusingone.
They think that once it'sintegrated, that it disappears,
right?
So the confusion is I didshadow work last year, so I'm
done, right?
Nope, and the truth isintegration is cyclical, not
linear, right?
New life stages, relationshipsor challenges will reveal new
(20:56):
layers right, say that again.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
new layers, yeah, new layers.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
It's like onions, right.
So that's part of the growthcycle, right?
It's not about never beingtriggered again.
It's about recovering with morelove and awareness each time.
Right, so you're not fallinginto the same pit over and over
again.
Now you're jumping over it.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
And oftentimes I feel like the integration part it
has to be cyclical, becausethat's how we expand.
So, like you, you will getchallenges.
You think you're healed.
Okay, well, let's see.
That's how the universe works.
It's like how healed are you?
You know, are you this, you,are you this healed, or are you
this healed?
And there are varying reactionsand responses.
(21:38):
And so if you think that doingthe shadow work at one point
like I did all this work it'slike honey, this is earth.
You're going to be doing workuntil you're done and when
you're done you're no longerhere.
That's earth school.
So let's just cover reallyquickly how to embody balance.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Yes, before we move on, I just want to remind you
that the shadow isn't all bad.
There are hidden gifts in theretoo.
So when you go into that shadowwork, don't go in there
thinking, oh, I'm going to goand deal with my demons.
You probably will also uncovera bunch of latent talents that
are eager for expression.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Like I'm going to share a personal story real
quick.
So, for example, when I wasyounger, I would be told I'm too
sensitive and because I had asensitivity about me that I
would, you know, use to writesongs.
You know, I started writingwhen I was like five years old
and after something bad happenedin our family, um, well,
(22:43):
somebody died, you know, my, mybrother died when I was five, my
first brother and, um, I wrotea song and then I was like, oh
wow, I really like, like doingthis.
This is fun.
And I was little.
This is me recording into atape and just finding a way
(23:04):
through, and also the desire tomake your family happier,
because everybody's grieving,but just finding how to take
something and turn it intosomething.
And if I had listened tosomebody who told me I was too
sensitive, then I would haverejected the part of me that
felt enough pain to write thesong.
And now, as an adult, I usethat sensitivity as part of my
(23:28):
coaching.
Is that I have the intuitivedownloads, because I am
sensitive and because I cansense energy and because I can
sense when there is a solutionor a shortcut for a client.
And if I had not integratedthat shadow part of myself which
some would call that weak, likeif you cry easily or if you
(23:52):
laugh easily.
Those are both part of beingsensitive, but if I had rejected
them then I wouldn't be who Iam now and I also would be not
fulfilling my purpose of beinghere.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
And to continue that you would not have been able to
help the hundreds, if notthousands, of people who you've
already helped.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Yes, and thank you for saying that.
But also, I think mostimportantly is, yes, who I've
served, but also that I didn'tserve my purpose and so,
therefore, I would have not beenfulfilled.
Correct, like why am I here,you know, like, which is where a
lot of people end up suffering.
Correct, and so not believingthat person who said you're too
(24:38):
sensitive, um is is, you know.
I rejected their statementabout me rather than rejecting
the, the sensitive part ofmyself, which is part of my
superpower.
It's part of how I can love sohard.
So I think that hopefully, thatexample gives you perspective
of like.
You have the choice to see yourshadow as a part of you that
(25:02):
you can integrate throughoutyour entire life, and it will
change your life, like.
You were given that shadow fora reason, so my suggestion is to
embody it as much as possible.
Oh, yeah, for a reason.
So my suggestion is to embodyit as much as possible and find
out what it will do for you,because a balanced, sensitive
person can serve like none other.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
But an imbalanced, sensitive person is going to
have a hard time, exactly sojust to make the shadow work
real sexy.
All I just want to say is, ifyou are not like banging out
your purpose, it's because yourpurpose is probably still hidden
in your shadow.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
And once you bang up that purpose, money experiences,
health, love, all that stuffwill literally be attracted to
you, yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Well, you'll align to it.
Correct, because it really justall comes down to alignment.
Is that if you're rejectingsomething, the universe is going
to push harder, you know,because you are hiding your gift
, like you came in with sometype of gift yeah, and most of
us come in with lots of gifts.
You know, like sensitive wasjust one thing that I remember,
(26:15):
like really finding that thestrength of my purpose here is
something that I was shunned for.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
And you have more gifts, of course, all of us do.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
All of us have all kinds of things that come
through.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
I've seen glimmers of all kinds of gifts and I'm like
, oh gosh, sorry.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Likewise, thank you.
Do you want to share a personalstory?
Speaker 1 (26:37):
No, we don't have time.
I'm long-winded.
Let's get to the next part.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Okay, all right.
So number four would beembodying balance, and basically
what we're talking about isfiguring out how to find the
balance of using the shadow andalso finding the balance of the
shadow.
So, true, empowerment oftencomes from polarization and
(27:04):
opposites, right.
So, for example, you can bevery strong and very tender.
So, like my sensitivity story,like I am strong as fuck, like
you haven't met a strongerperson, likely, but I am super
sensitive and empathic.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
I will go so far as to say is that you really can't
be strong unless you're tenderat the same time.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yeah, so it's like there's often you'll find your
shadow in polarity, correct.
So another one.
Do you want to give an example?
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Fierceness over being forgiving.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Fierceness and forgiving.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Yes, you can be fierce and forgiving at the same
time and again, just like thestrong and tender, you can't be
fierce without being forgiven.
You need that contrast right,and that's going to come from
the shadow work.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Most likely you have.
That is, the thing is thatyou're not often given a part of
yourself without its oppositeis what we're saying here.
So, for example, you can beboundaried, but you're also
probably available, and sofinding the balance between the
two, no trespassing boundaried.
(28:10):
Boundaried.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
And then there's you can also be sexual and spiritual
at the same time.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
I often think that they are totally separate
because religion has made usbelieve that sex is bad.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
I didn't say sexual and religious.
I said sexual and spiritual.
Yeah, you can be both.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
And honestly, like in a lot of my coaching with women
, we do talk a lot about thisbecause we are sexual beings and
if you are repressing yoursexual body, then you know
there's a part of your spiritthat is diminished and not
fulfilled.
Correct, so finding the sexualand spiritual, that's how you're
(28:51):
embodying the balance of whoyou came in to be.
There's a good quote from theshadow work king Carl Jung,
which is until you make theunconscious conscious, it will
direct your life and you willcall it fate.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Fate Ooh, I love that word.
Fate, oh, it must be fate, no,it's-.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Or bad luck.
People will say bad luck.
I don't know why this ishappening.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Well, your shadow does.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Yeah, you are creating it.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Have a conversation with it.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
Well, you know, your wholeness is your medicine.
It's not your perfection, right?
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Your wholeness is your medicine.
It's your medicine.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Right is your medicine right, so you can be
whole.
And it doesn't have to comeacross as being perfectionist,
right, you can come across asjust being healthy and happy.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Yeah, so your wholeness is like something that
you look to get medicine fromand that you take as medicine.
So you're looking for thatbalance and you have to give
yourself grace so that you don'tfeel like you have to be
(30:02):
perfect.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Correct.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Yeah, okay, let's play a game.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
I need a game.
I need a giggle Talking theheavy stuff here I mean the
shadows over the air are justlike okay, bro, we're not done
yet, okay stuff here.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
I mean the shadows over there are just like, okay,
bro, we're not done yet.
Okay, so I'm going to read offa trait and then like selfish,
you know control, etc.
Just a trait, right, Okay, andthen you're going to guess
whether it's a shadow or asuperpower.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Ooh, okay.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
And then unpack like how that trait can be integrated
so it can be a power, Becauseyou know spoiler alert most
things can be used.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Yes, all things can be used, all things can be, used
.
All things are fuel.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Except for there's a couple, though, that I was
thinking like when I was workingon this game.
I was like, um, I don't knowhow that could be used.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
Okay yes, you know what I mean, so let's just get
back to the game.
Okay, here we go we got serious.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
What else do you want to talk about Politics?
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Oh, here we go Politics.
No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Okay, I'm going to read off a trait, okay, and then
you're going to tell me whetherit's a shadow or a superpower,
and then we'll unpack how thetrait can be integrated.
Got it and use this power.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Yes, okay, let's do it, let's do it, okay.
So anger, anger is mostcertainly a what's the trigger,
right.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Shadow, shadow, yeah, yeah.
Or a superpower, it's a shadow,we're playing shadow, or
superpower, Shadow, orsuperpower, so anger is most
certainly a shadow.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
I have found that anger is easily transmuted to
focus, so it can be a superpower.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Yes, so it's a shadow , but it can be integrated and
what it looks like would beexpressed with clarity, not
chaos, oh, okay, yeah, yeah,yeah, yeah so like when you're
anger, anger when you're angry,can't talk.
I'm a podcaster.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
When your bound read had been.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Your bound read and anger.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Your over bound read.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Okay.
So when you're angry, you canexpress it with clarity and,
like you know, say exactly inmaybe a stern manner if you're
having a conversation, but alsoyou can express it by using it
to be creative with you knowthat mean like anger is a good
(32:28):
driver if you have a lot of crapto do.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
That is correct.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
So if you express it with clarity, okay, I'm going to
use this frustration of thisthing.
Frustration is a form of anger,fear is a form of anger, and so
just not expressing it withchaos.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Yes, the difference would be getting super, super
angry, going outside with an axand cutting a bunch of trees.
That's chaos.
The other thing would bedeterrent anger and stack a
bunch of wood for winter right,which requires a lot of physical
strength.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
but if you're angry, you've got tons of strength For
reals.
Okay, here's another one.
How about sadness?
Okay, here's another one.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
How about sadness?
Sadness definitely shadow.
Again, everything can betransmuted, so I can see sadness
being a way of clar what'sgoing on in your heart.
That's my answer.
(33:39):
What do you got?
Sadness.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
No, I think it's a shadow, for sure.
I think the way to use it as asuperpower is just transmutation
.
Honestly, a lot of these aregoing to be that answer.
Yeah, but it's like what youturn it into.
You know, some people turnsadness into a non-profit that
supports whatever they're sadabout Some people use.
So it's a choice.
(34:01):
That's.
The thing about shadows is thatif you want to integrate them,
they can remain a shadow, whichmeans you're repressing them and
you're not integrating, or theyare what drives you.
What can be a superpower orgrief.
You know somebody losessomebody.
Then they turn, you know, tohelping people overcome grief,
(34:22):
Like you see that pattern overand over again.
That would be transmutation ofsaid trait.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Yeah, I think that you know all of all of these are
great, um, uh great ingredientsto be used and baked into
something beautiful and tastyand savory.
You can take sadness and bakeit into a positive cake, I don't
know.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
What if you're super positive all the time?
Speaker 1 (34:51):
I would say, that's.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
People are always like oh, toxic positivity.
I'm like toxic positivity.
No, but what if you're positive?
What if you just naturally camein very positive?
You're just the optimistic kindof person.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
Um, I would say that's a superpower.
Um exist in tandem with eachother, right?
So if you are super positive,it may be that you are working
your ass off to stay away fromyour shadows.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
Polar opposite of positivity is negativity.
Positivity is negativity, andso you have to find out how to
use the negativity that isaround you or that you are
hiding in yourself, to work forthe trait that you want to
experience the most, and if it'spositivity, then the negative
negativity has to be put to workand integrated.
(35:48):
Be an alchemist.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
Be an alchemist exactly.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Yeah, so your trigger is your teacher Mm-hmm and your
shame.
That's just power waiting forpermission.
So time to integrate thatshadow.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Yes, yes, yeah, and I like what you said about it's
waiting for permission becauseit's ready to go.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Mm-hmm, right, it wants to be it came in ready.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
It wants to be integrated, right.
So I'm also playing with thisidea that your whole shadow self
is living its whole life,asking for permission to bring
you into the party, becauseyou're the life of the party.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
Right, so bring your shadow work, and your shadow is
going to bestow upon you allkinds of gifts and healing
modalities.
It's just a wonderful place tovisit.
Yeah, check it out, the journalprompt for this week.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
Question of the week is what shadow trait is asking
for my attention right now?
Speaker 1 (36:56):
That is beautiful.
Well, I believe that the shadowis where the soul hides its
light, right?
So there's plenty of light foryou to reach.
The minute you go into yourshadows, it's not all dark.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Yeah, and it's asking to be brought into the light.
So because it needs to beintegrated.
That's the whole thing.
That's a whole podcast rightthere.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
That's it.
Integrate your shadow and youwill be happier.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
And so we want to invite you to not hide your
shadow.
Harmonize with it, find how itcan work for you.
The funniest part of shadowwork, and why I think it's so
confusing, is because it'scalled shadow, so people think
like they have to go into, likethe shadowy part of the woods.
Uh-oh, you know've got to go inthe hood Demons living in
(37:47):
darkness and things stink.
Oh my gosh, there's a bog.
You always talk about a bog.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
You've got to use the outhouse.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Yeah, like, oh, it's going to be awful.
And I'm here to tell you thatit doesn't have to be awful.
I think that we are approachingthe shadow work with not the
clarity that it needs.
So the point of us sharing allof this is to give you to put
some light on that shadow.
The shadow is pretty fuckingdope because you are dope and
(38:16):
you didn't come into thisplaying field to have just part
of you yourself being seen.
You know to wear some mask likeoh, I'm never angry, I'm never
sad, I'm never.
I don't know.
I feel like name the sevendwarfs.
I'm never sneezy, sleepy I'mperfect and social media will
(38:39):
have you believing kind of thatyou know, and just like all
media will have you believe likeyou know, even like a tampon
commercial, like why are theyskipping and jumping?
Yeah, exactly, don't they havecramps, Aren't they don't?
They just want to eat and layon the couch Like Where's the
chocolate?
Where's the chocolate?
And there's none.
They're always playing on abeach in white.
(38:59):
I'm like who the fuck wearswhite.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Why white?
I'm like who the fuck wearswhite.
Why does the husband look happy?
Husband's not happy, no one'shappy.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
Nobody's happy.
Like, just be so fucking realright now, like that's the
phrase that I just find myselfsaying over and over again, and
to myself as well, because Iwant to integrate the shadow
parts of myself.
And the shadow parts of myselfhave taken a backseat in my life
(39:28):
, and so when I do this workwith clients, I'm always
laughing at like okay, so whatdo you think your shadow is?
And the common answers are like, oh well, I'm really lazy.
And I'm like, oh okay, soyou're really lazy.
Okay, so tell me how you'rereally lazy.
And they'll be like oh well,you know, I didn't get to where
(39:49):
I wanted to be in this part ofphase by this phase of my life.
I was like, oh okay, and why isthat?
Well, because I just didn'twork hard enough.
And I'm like oh, okay, and whyis that?
Oh, because I'm lazy and I'mlike or maybe my hallucination
is that you weren't lazy,because how did you accomplish,
(40:13):
you know, and oftentimes theseare from like high achievers,
you know, and they're likesaying all the things that they
did, you know, to the public,but then inside, they believe
that they are lazy.
And so you have to be carefulnot to like associate a belief,
a false belief, a limitingbelief, with a shadow, because
if you're lazy, there's no wayyou could be the person that you
(40:35):
you are, especially the peoplethat I'm referencing, like my
clients, you know, which I can'tname them, um, but uh, because
of confidentiality.
But like thinking, thinking ofhow people think the shadow is
something that they're ashamedof, and sometimes the thing that
you're ashamed of is that youaren't living a life in
(40:55):
alignment.
That's why things aren'thappening as fast for you.
You were pushing instead ofallowing yourself to be pulled,
and the shadow of that is just alot of confusion, a lot of the
wrong programming.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
I totally agree.
Let me ask you a question If we, if you were to name the shadow
something else, right, whatwould you name it?
To eat, to soften the load ormake it more attractive to visit
?
Speaker 2 (41:30):
I would call it one of the necessary paths on your
journey.
The shadow is, like one of themost necessary that you have to
take, like we've talked so muchheavy stuff in the past couple
of months, like your wounds.
I need to know your woundmother wound, father wound so
(41:51):
that I can help you.
And then I need to know howit's triggered you which is why
we talked about reactions andthen I need to know what is the
shadow that you are hiding?
What haven't you brought intothe light?
And if you haven't brought intothe light that you have a deep
core wound about, you know, likemy example of sensitivity, like
(42:11):
if you have that wound, thenhow are we going to ever use it?
Like, how are we going to?
If you're hiding it?
It can't be used, correct,nobody knows you have it.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
That is correct.
Not even you have it.
That is correct, not even you.
No, yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:27):
And you might know that you have it, but instead of
looking at it for what it is asa superpower, you're looking at
it like oh, it's a shadow.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
I would say something like going back to the
laboratory right, going backinto, like a lair or a cavern
where I do my work right, whereI do my alchemical work.
You know I have a big cauldron,I have my libraries.
(42:56):
You know I'm going thereregularly to upgrade who I am
and how I can produce what Iwant to on this world, right?
So if I'm going back to mylayer, that's nice and easy,
right, I can close my eyes andmeditate and do the somatic work
and actually be in my layer.
That for me feels easier to saythan I'm going to do my shadow
work.
You know what I'm saying.
(43:17):
So I try to make it easy toenter into shadow work by
calling it something sexier.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
But it's still the shadow work.
You got a secret lair.
You're not telling me about it.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
I got that lair, you know.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
That lair you're going back to, it's got a
cauldron.
What else is there?
Speaker 1 (43:33):
Going back to the lab .
Speaker 2 (43:34):
What.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
Without a mic to grab .
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
Wait, going back to the lab without a mic to grab.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
Eric Going back to the lab without a mic to grab
Eric B Rockham.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
I know who it is, but you are Mike too.
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
Without a mic to grab .
Oh, that's nice.
Oh, see I grabbed this mic,going back to the lab to get a
different version of Mike tograb you know what I'm saying?
Yes, I like that, let's goright now, let's see what else
we can sp I would love to inviteyou to my lab, but it's a
one-person party.
You can't come and do my work.
But I can show you what I'mproducing.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
Yes, I will see it, because I'll reflect it to you.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
I see you also having a beautiful mystic lair
somewhere in your mind.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
I got a mystic lair right.
I got a portal.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
You got a portal.
Right, I got a portal.
You got a portal.
Exactly, I got a portal.
You got a portal too.
My lab has a portal and acauldron.
It has all kinds of cool shit.
Boom, I got a reset button inthere too.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
So do I.
Yeah, it's nice.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
I got to use it more often, but it's there.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
You need to use my button more often and we are
sending you the highestvibration.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
You are held.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
You are loved.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
Sorry, my game.
The changes are right here.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
Pick whatever one you want.
Let's stop being nerds and hangout.
Speaker 1 (45:10):
Yes, bye, vagina.
Hey, that's the shadow.
Honey, that's in the shadow.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
Hey, that's the shadow honey.
No, I think I didn't get it.
I didn't get it.
The editor says I think Ididn't get it, I didn't get it.
The editor says oh, I didn'tget it.
Sorry, can't roll back the tape, didn't get it.
You're held your love and we'redone Bye.
Thank you.
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