February 27, 2025 • 40 mins
Are you stuck in a rut with your partner? Discover the transformative power of communication in our latest episode that dives into the common pitfalls many couples encounter—especially the silent treatment, which often leads to emotional distance. We unravel the mysteries of effective communication with our 4-H's approach, ensuring that each partner's needs are met without misunderstanding.
Learn to navigate conversations with empathy and light-heartedness by incorporating playful check-ins or dancing together to shift your energy. This episode details various tactics that foster understanding rather than conflict, advising couples to practice the pause-and-process method when discussions become heated, and ensuring both individuals feel valued and safe.
Communication is more than just speaking; it is about connection, allowing partners to express their needs peacefully. So, whether you want to be helped, heard, or simply held, this episode offers insights into creating an emotional bond that not only survives but thrives. Join us to learn how laughter can be seamlessly integrated into serious discussions and why daily check-ins might be the lifeline your relationship needs. Engage with us and kickstart your journey toward deeper love and understanding today! Subscribe now, share your thoughts, and let’s empower each other through love and communication.
Download the FREE Heart-To-Heart Exercise to deepen your connection here.
Looking for Empowerment Coaching? Apply to work with Zuri here
Looking for Expansion Coaching? Apply to work with Mike here.
Download the FREE Heart-To-Heart Exercise to deepen your connection here.
Manifest everything you want in your life, using our HoldTheVibe.com course! 5 modules led with audio and video by Mikey and Zuri to help you unlock the magic of manifesting using a simple step-by-step process.
Want to be on our show? Use this form.
Support your health and get in on our affiliate offers:
- Join our Frequency Family and buy your own Healy Device here.
- Get 10% off any Intellipure device using this link & code: Zuri
- Want to do what we are doing? Join us on Kajabi and create a course, email list, coaching program, or membership. You’ll get two free weeks and help us continue our ad-free podcast.
- Want to podcast? Use Buzzsprout the best podcasting host! Following ...
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So we have been running a program called
Coherence, which Mike was likeoh well, when we do podcasts, we
should run Coherence, thisatmosphere program.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
And it works.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
And it works, but it also you didn't mess up at all.
I didn't mess up at all.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
You're so much better this time, oh my God.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Welcome to the Empowerment Couple Podcast,
where your path to self-masteryexpands.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
My co-host is empowerment coach Zuri Starr.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
And he's expansion coach Mikey Starr.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Together we are the Empowerment Couple.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Our mission is simple to serve you, love, so you can
make informed decisions toregain and maintain your
personal power.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
We'll take you on a journey to a life filled with
purpose, passion and limitlesspossibilities, while sharing
stories of transformation.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Wellness hacks and healthy habits backed by science
and ancient wisdom.
Plus, we'll keep youentertained with engaging games,
banter and funny innuendosalong the way.
Each episode is an excitingblend of education,
entertainment and empowermentdesigned to help you create a
mindset to be a magnet for morelove, happiness and abundance.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Together with our special guests.
We are dedicated to sharinginformation that empowers you to
create your most beautiful life.
A one-zine, a two-zine, athree-zine your most beautiful
life.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
I got nothing.
I got nothing, I got nothing.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
You're supposed to say something I forgot.
Check, check, check, check.
The Healy was trying to get upon the show.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
With the mag on the table and it was like, oh, I'm
going to be in this podcast, I'myour special guest.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
What we don't know is the show is infused with
healing vibrations.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Well, we did run coherence, but I'm telling you
something about this.
Magnetic healing was like oh,I'm going to be a guest.
Let me tell you how I'm healingyou.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
It's like an audio halo around us.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Exactly so.
We didn't know we were going tohave a special guest today.
But today our special guest isthe mag Healy.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
So it's actually five H's.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Magnetic frequency.
Yes, it's not just the 4-H show.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Yeah, it's the 5-H show.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
It's the 5-H show.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
What do the 4-Hs stand for?
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Well, we're going to talk about relationship
communication today, yeah, andwe're going to get into an
exercise that we call the 4-Hand we will tell you about it
later.
Okay, but the show concept isreally just we want to make sure
you have some tools that willhelp you have better connection
with your partner.
Um, really, like, relationshipsare all about connection.
(02:54):
You're either growing togetheror growing apart, so you want to
dive into it.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
I do, I do, and it kind of goes in, goes in
alignment with what we alwayssay in regards to marriage.
If you swap out the wordmarriage for the word connection
, then you're always working onyour connection.
So part of that connection iswhat we're about to get into
right now.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yeah, and we're rounding out our theme for
February, which is all aboutlove and connection and
self-love, and you know we'vebeen giving you lots of content
around love and next month we'regoing to be talking about body
in our 12 areas of life.
Themes for the EmpowermentCouple podcast.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Well, first and foremost, communication isn't
just about talking, it's aboutconnection, right?
So what we really need to do iswork on our communication to
improve our connection.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Exactly, and communication is really the
foundation of a relationship.
A relationship withoutcommunication is like a house
without a foundation.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
It will fall.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
It will, and tumble, tumble down and sometimes a slow
tumble and who wants that right?
So the role of communication isreally to build trust, intimacy
and understanding.
Correct, and why do we want todo this?
We want to do this because itleads to better connection, more
fun, more flow, better sex andease.
(04:23):
And then you know you're notjust like a silent roommate with
your partner.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
That is correct.
Or an angry roommate, that iscorrect.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Or a resentful roommate.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
And with connection, breeds peace and harmony yes,
and when you are in peace andharmony, everything works Right.
Even the hard times have asilver lining around it, because
it allows you both to growthrough something that will make
you stronger.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
As long as there is peace and harmony.
Yes, Right.
So if there's no peace andharmony, your communication will
definitely switch.
Communication will definitelyswitch, For instance, if you are
in you know, battle mode or ifyou're wanting to have a
conversation where you come outthe victor.
You're probably going to belistening to respond instead of
(05:16):
listening to understand.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Yeah, it's a big communication pitfall.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Correct.
So you know, I've hadconversations with you where we
have been harmonious and thethings that you have said and
the things that I have said havebeen received Right.
But when we are in a battlemode, right, when we are looking
more for justice and less forpeace, then, um, then we're both
armed, right.
(05:41):
And when we're both armed,we're not listening to, to
communicate, we're listening torespond so that we can take a
blow and then blow back, pick ahit and hit back.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
And really, silence is something that can happen
when you stonewall or youwithdraw, and it's definitely so
.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
The lack of communication is a relationship
killer yeah, so either or eitheryou either talking, you either
listening to respond instead oflistening to understand, or
you're going to kind of withdrawentirely and silence isn't just
the absence of words, it's theabsence of connection.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
So the silent treatment is often used as a way
to like punish or control, butit really creates a lot of
dissonance and distance and, um,it never really can lead to uh
resolution.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
That is correct.
Uh, and, and I always say that,um, you know, when you are
communicating, you'recommunicating without a short,
communicating without a swordand a shield.
When you are coming into aconversation and you have a lot
of heat and you want theconversation to go in a
particular way, that's where thesword and the shield come out.
And then, once that comes out,you guys are both, you know,
(06:59):
arming yourself, because nobodywants to be hurt.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
And when you do the silent treatment or the
stonewalling, it triggersanxiety and insecurity in your
partner and it makes them feelunheard or unimportant.
For women, they feel unsafe andthen they close up.
And then you know the joy ofbeing a woman is to be free and
(07:22):
flowing and we need to feel safe.
A woman is to be free andflowing and we need to feel safe
.
And then, for men, they willfeel if their partner is giving
them the silent treatment.
They feel unseen and then theylook elsewhere to be seen.
So over time it just can erodetrust and intimacy and it really
creates an emotional disconnectthat's hard to repair.
(07:43):
So avoid the silent treatmentat all costs.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
And one of the other killers of that silent treatment
is bottling up your emotions,right.
So if you are having aconversation for peace, right,
you need to put all the cards onthe table, because there are
parts of you know.
If you're having a hard day atwork or you're dealing with some
(08:09):
, you know, emotional traumafrom the past or whatever it is,
the longer you hold on to it,the more it festers.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Right.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Right, it's not, it's energy.
It doesn't just go away, itstays there.
So, if you want to go throughthe, you know the
transmutational process you haveto process, and that's where
you know communication comes in,because if you are stonewalling
, your partner is stonewalling.
You guys aren't listening tounderstand, you're listening to
(08:38):
win a conversation.
Then, of course, you know,expressing yourself will be more
and more difficult, which ofcourse, was going to lead to
bottling up your emotions andonce that happens, things become
more and more explosive.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Like if you have an Instapot, it's like putting all
of your emotions in there andthen it becomes like a pressure
cooker waiting to explode andinstead of like releasing, like
you know, the like pressurecooker valve and like steams
everywhere, instead of that,like you know, it just keeps
cooking.
(09:12):
Yeah, so then once that happens, you know, like nobody wants
that, like you can alleviatethat if you just have some
conversations.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Well, you know, this is this.
This might be a little, alittle gross, however it has.
I've heard from friends who arehunters who state that when
hunting prey or whatnot, whatthey want to do is you know,
when they trap the animal andkill the animal, they want to do
it fast so that the animaldoesn't build up a lot of
anxiety in its meat and then itspoils the meat Super, super
(09:43):
gross.
However, we also have the samesituation in relationships where
we can spoil our whole bodysystem with pent-up energy so
that when we actually have aconversation with our partner,
we're not pure and connected, weare spoiled, right, we're kind
of rotten, and having thatconnection with someone who's
(10:06):
rotten doesn't really resonatewith peace, which is why you
need to communicate on a regularbasis.
You can't let anything build up.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Yeah.
So holding in emotions leads toresentment, which eventually
surfaces in passive, aggressivebehavior, outbursts or
withdrawal.
And then suppressing emotionscan also lead to physical stress
impacting overall well-being.
Point blank period.
Unspoken feelings don'tdisappear, they fester.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
They fester.
And who wants to wade in a bogwhen you can literally be
bathing in a crystalline pool oflove with your lover?
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Yes.
So instead of balling things up, we're suggesting that you can
practice these small, honestcheck-ins to release tension
before it builds.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Mm-hmm, and you know now is the time to break the
cycle.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Amen.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Now is always the time to do something more
positive for your relationshipand yourself really.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Yeah, and not to look back in judgment like just
practice now.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Practice now.
The power of now is beautifuland healthy.
Communication isn't aboutwinning, it's literally about
understanding.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Right, and instead of shutting down, you can use the
pause and process approach,right?
You know, when you're in theheat of battle and you realize
that you're not communicating,you're actually fighting.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
And the fight is escalating and it's escalating.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Instead of stonewalling and walking away,
you can actually say hey, let'spause and process right, and
that will give you enough time,hopefully, to breathe and
de-escalate your biochemicalprocesses inside your body.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Right and you can tell your partner like, hey,
this pause and process is, likeyou know, a commitment to
revisit when we're in a betterstate.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Correct.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
You know like, go get yourself into a better state.
There are times where Mike andI will be talking and I'm like,
hold on, I need to go, likestand on the vibe plate, or like
jump on the trampoline, or likeI need to do something.
I need to go outside, breathesome fresh air, like before we
have a conversation, becausesometimes I know like, oh, I'm
not going to bring my best selfto this.
So yeah, I mean changing yourstate really is a big.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Yeah, I mean going back to earlier this week.
We were making travel plans andanytime we make travel plans it
creates anxiety and you know,there's always a reason for
anxiety and worry because welive in this planet and we were
struggling with, you know,making plans and all that stuff.
(12:38):
And then we decided why don'twe just dance, right?
So we spent 20 minutes dancingin our kitchen.
We laughed, we hugged, wekissed afterwards and then,
within 24 hours, our travelplans were set.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Yeah, yep.
So if emotions are overwhelming, the other thing you can do is
write them down first to clarifywhat you're actually feeling,
and sometimes this can be like aventing exercise where nobody
you know gets your off gassingof your venting Correct.
So you can just, you know, getin your notes app if you want,
or take pen to paper and reallylike clarify what you're
(13:18):
actually feeling before speakingit, because sometimes we speak
to try to understand ourselves.
We aren't actually even speakingso the other person can
understand.
And so the other thing you cando if pause and process doesn't
resonate with you.
You can replace avoidance withvulnerability, saying something
like I need a moment, but I wantto talk about this.
(13:39):
This will keep the door openfor communication.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
And the open door is critical.
At no point do you want tosever that connection because
you think that it's going to getbetter with brute force or
whatever.
It is always better when youare harmonious and you are open
to communication, open toreceiving and giving information
.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
And disconnection leads to discord.
And discord in relationshipsmeans that you're not really
getting the joy out of thepartnership.
You want the harmony man.
You definitely want the harmony.
You need more cowbell.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Yeah, you need more cowbell.
And the other thing that youcan also do is, as you are
entering into conversationswhere you need to be heard or
you're making a decision, is towrite an intention statement for
that conversation.
Yep, right, and I think thatwill also focus both of your
guys' energies into a commongoal, so it's not more of a vent
(14:38):
session where you're pulling inall kinds of stagnant energy.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Yes, and I think, like in our previous podcast
episodes, we talk about like, ifyou wrote that intention and
then you shared it with eachother.
Like you know, there's one, oneepisode where we're talking
about like, what do you want?
Oh, I want peace.
Oh, and the other person wantspeace.
Okay, you can share those,those statements.
So I like that you reflectedback to that.
That has been effective.
Oh yeah, for the couples that wework with when we do our
(15:05):
harmonization programs, and alsoit's been helpful in our own
relationship.
We're always the test guineapigs.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Yes, Like does this work?
There's always all of ourclients and then ourselves as
clients.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Yeah, and boy, let me tell you Zuri, she is a tough
client.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Oh yeah, yeah, most certainly, she's very tough.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Excuse you, I think it's time to play a game.
We need to bring in some fun tothis show and some application.
And the point of having fun and, like Mike talked about going
into the kitchen is that studieshave confirmed that the hormone
oxytocin, when it's involved,it helps with forming
attachments.
(15:52):
In addition, they have shownthat this cuddle hormone can
increase trust and has a calmingeffect, decreasing stress,
anxiety and fear when couples dorecreational activities
together, like dancing in theirkitchen.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
And podcasting.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Oxytocin levels are elevated and I have to say, like
I was frustrated I'm going touse that word because I think
that's the closest sensation Iwas feeling about some of our
travel plans and just adjustingthings and, you know, doing all
the things that come into playwhen you are booking travel for
(16:28):
play and business and becausethat's how we do it Multiple
stops, rental cars, you knoweverything.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
House care, pet care.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
I have to say, like I have support, I have a team, I
have people who help me withsome of this, but some of it
ends up falling on me and then Ibring it to Mike and he's just
like what, okay, what?
Speaker 2 (16:51):
I'm managing my own things, I'm like what, but I
recognize that you weredefinitely struggling.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
I needed to feel, I needed to change my vibration,
and I wasn't able to do thatwithout some support.
So thank you for dancing withme, cause instantly after that I
was like, oh, yeah, like, whatam I?
What am I tripping off of?
Like I couldn't even rememberwhy I was so stuck.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Well, you mentioned the word application a couple of
minutes ago, and application iseverything right, it's one
thing to get some informationoff the internet or in books or
in movies and then store it inyour bookshelf, but when you
apply it, that's when the magic.
So you know, I recognize in youthat you are having a hard time
(17:35):
and I recognize the build andanxiety on my end, because I
still need answers and whatnot.
So it's like we can either jumpinto a conversation when we're
both filled with anxiety, whenour meat is spoiled, or we could
dance, and once we danced webecame higher versions of
ourselves, and that's where allof the answers are.
(17:57):
So we just we broke the cycleby applying what we know.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
And that cuddle hormone allowed us to then
communicate, like so, if you arestruggling in your relationship
, another tactic is if you'rereally just not seeing eye to
eye is do something fun togetherand then try to have a
conversation.
Yes, like if you're reallyhitting a dead end and it's just
not moving.
Do something fun together,whether you know, whatever your
(18:22):
fun looks like Ours was middleof February, dancing in our
kitchen.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
And we had a really good time.
Yes, it was hilarious.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Okay, so let's play a game it's called.
I Would Rather Okay, okay, andit's going to be a hypothetical,
which I know you love.
I love hypotheticals In thebeginning of our relationship,
mike would always give me ahypothetical of the day and it
drove me nuts, but it actually,I think, opened up a lot of
conversation.
So and like, let us get to knoweach other.
You know, like, knowing things,like you know, what would your
(18:54):
superpower be Like?
Would you rather blah, blah,blah?
And he would ask thesequestions and I have to say it
did generate a lot ofconversation.
But the only thing I didn'tlike about it is that he would
change the hypothetical midwaythrough my answer.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Yes, because you weren't answering it in a
spectacular way.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Okay, that is called criticism.
Do not do criticism or you willclose your relationship, will
suffer and the woman will closeup.
Okay, you don't want that?
Okay, so we're going to play agame.
I would rather and it's goingto be hypothetical Would you
rather, or would you blah, blah,blah?
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
All right.
So I've got a handful ofquestions here.
I'm ready.
We're going to start with thefirst one.
Okay, Would you rather haveunlimited wealth but no Wi-Fi,
or unlimited knowledge but aphone that only works on dial-up
?
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Unlimited knowledge, like I already have all the
knowledge.
Is that right?
Yes, so if I have all, I'mgoing to go for the second one,
because if I have all theknowledge, is that right?
Yes, so if I have all, I'mgoing to go for the second one,
because if I have all theknowledge I don't need anything.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Okay, but you would then give up unlimited wealth.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Well, with unlimited knowledge, I can get unlimited
wealth.
Unlimited wealth comes withlimitations.
Okay, this is where we differ,based on knowledge.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
I'll go for no Wi-Fi and I'll say unlimited wealth.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Because you could just be dumb and happy right on
the beach.
Wait, isn't it?
Unlimited wealth but no Wi-Fi?
Perfect, Nobody can reach meWhile you're dumb and happy on
the beach.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
I'm going to be super happy.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
See, this is why we work, yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
I'm going to be super happy owning the beach.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Next question Would you rather be able to instantly
manifest anything you want, butonly in a public restroom, or
have to give a TED Talk everytime you want to make a big
purchase?
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Or have to give a TED Talk every time you want to
make a big purchase.
I'm going to go for the publicrestroom one, because I will
literally find a restroom that Ican lock and it's nice and
pretty, and then I'll just sitthere and manifest shit all day.
Okay, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Yeah, I would probably go for the first one.
Okay, would you rather get $1million today but have to wear a
chicken suit for a year?
Or earn $100,000 per yearforever but have to work as a
mime on the weekends?
Speaker 2 (21:30):
A mime.
So a million dollars today anda chicken suit.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Chicken suit.
So you know $100,000 per year.
But then you have to work as amime on the weekends.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
I'm going to go for the million dollars and the
chicken suit, because therearen't any definitions in
regards to what the chicken suitactually looks like.
So for me, I'm thinking, youknow, a shirt with chickens on
it, a suit with chickens on it.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
You know what I'm saying?
Bok bok.
But that means like in 10 yearsI could wear a fresh
three-piece suit with chickenprint.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
I'm golden.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
So you don't want to work as a mime, basically.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
No, I want that million dollars up front.
Okay, I don't want to bewaiting on $1,000 or 100 grand
100 grand per year.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Forever, though.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
I know.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
So it's the marshmallow.
It's the marshmallow one.
You want the marshmallow now ortwo marshmallows later?
Okay, would you rather alwaysbe five minutes late to
everything this is hilarious,even major life events or always
be an hour early but have torecite a motivational speech to
a stranger every time?
Speaker 2 (22:39):
You know what I swear to God?
I am the living embodiment ofthe first one.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Yes, that's why I laughed.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
I'm always five minutes late, but somehow I'm
five minutes late and I'm stillgiving motivational speeches.
So it's weird how you just it'seither or, but it's always the
same.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
I think I would rather be five minutes late,
because I also tend to be fiveminutes late.
I don't want the motivationalspeech.
Yeah, an hour early, yeah, Idon't get the benefits of that
one Anytime.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
I'm early for something.
It's uncomfortable.
It's like man.
I got here too early.
I was like man.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I got here too early.
Okay, would you rather have thepower to manifest money
instantly, but only in the formof loose change, or manifest
happiness, but only throughinterpretive dance.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
I'm going to go for the loose change.
I'm going to go for the loosechange.
Wait a minute.
There's coin stars everywhere.
I would literally just stand infront of a coin star and my
pockets would fill with moneyand I'd put it in the coin star
machine and booyah.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
So you're going to be hanging out at Walmart or like
I don't know.
Where else do they have this?
You're going to be hanging outthere a lot.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
After a while I'll probably hire people to change
money.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
I'm going to do manifest happiness, but only
through interpretive dance.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
I knew you would.
I knew you would.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Give me the happiness Full stop.
I'm not no coin star.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Coin star here I come Hero.
Cha-ching, cha-ching Okay acouple more.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Would you rather be able to read minds, but it only
works when people are thinkingabout food.
Or be able to predict thefuture, but only 10 minutes
ahead.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Definitely predict the future 10 minutes ahead.
I'm going to be a lot of winner, probably within the next 20
minutes, as far as the first one.
If I was a chef, that would beperfect, but seeing that I'm not
a chef in a professional manner, then I'd just be walking
around and people would bethinking about donuts yeah you
know?
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Yeah.
Why would you need that?
Okay, would you rather wake upevery morning with a random
inspirational quote tattooed onyour arm or have to introduce
yourself to new people in thestyle of a WWE wrestler?
Speaker 2 (25:00):
wrestler oh, wwe wrestler right.
Hmm, um gee whiz gee whiz dothat through the first one.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
One more time I'm uh, what do you mean?
Do the?
Speaker 2 (25:15):
first one.
You mean read it again, eitheror okay.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Would you rather wake up every morning with a random
inspirational quote tattooed onyour arm or have to introduce
yourself to new people in thestyle of a WWE wrestler?
Speaker 2 (25:31):
I'm going to go for the WWE wrestler because I feel
like, you know, I'm not likeHulk Hogan, you know I don't
have, like these huge, massivearms.
So I'd feel like within a monthmy arm would be all inked up.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
You already have a lot of ink in your arm, yeah
exactly.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
So at what point am I going to be?
Like?
I won't even be able to see themotivational things because
it'll be over old tattoos.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
You know what I'm saying?
Okay, well, introduce yourselfthen as the WWE wrestler.
Who would you be?
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Well, back in the day , I don't want to you know.
Back in the day.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Back in the day.
Back in the day.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Don't do it Back in the 80s.
Careful.
My favorite was Macho Randy manSavage.
You talk like this, brother.
You know what I'm saying.
My name is Michael Storr andI'm here here to coach you.
Now get your ass in the shape.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
So that's how you'd introduce yourself.
Yeah, that's pretty much, butlike what?
What do you do?
What's your?
What's your wrestling ability?
Speaker 2 (26:33):
well, I would definitely rip off my shirt okay
and I would be like covered ingrease and oil.
That would look like sweat, butit would be, you know, oil and
grease.
And yeah, I would, just, youknow, walk up and with some
fucking dope ass Speedos.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
You know some tassels on the Speedos you know big old
tall wrestling boots.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
I'd be a, I'd be a menace.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Tall wrestling boots.
I'd be a menace Tall wrestlingboots.
I'd be a visual menace Can wemake an agreement right now that
for Halloween 2025, that youare a wrestler that wears a
Speedo, with tassels andwrestling boots.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
You're going to have to take me somewhere where it's
warm then, because I ain't doingthat shit.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
No, we will, we will.
We'll go to the warmest place.
We'll be in Ibiza.
Okay, yeah, ibiza's good andyou are going to.
Then I'll be a wrestling chickand this will be interesting
because I might have to startgetting muscly.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
You can be the scorecard chick.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
The scorecard chick.
The ring girl, the ring girl.
Wow, I got demoted quick.
No, I'm going to take you on.
What are you talking about,randy Savage?
Okay, well, that was a fun gameand see how, if you play a game
with your partner, you canlearn something about them.
I pretty much knew that youwould go for the ones that you
went for.
These are just random things onthe internet that I found, so I
(28:02):
didn't come up with them.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
This tends to be how we drink coffee together, how we
have tea together, how wetravel together, which is these
random questions to get eachother laughing, and a lot of
times when we do that, we'reactually letting go of emotions.
Right, we're laughing thingsaway, and then we can bring
things up in a, you know, heavythings up in a humorous tone,
(28:26):
which definitely lightens theload.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
And the way we speak to each other becomes the
soundtrack of our relationship.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
That is beautiful.
Say that one more time.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
The way we speak to each other becomes a soundtrack
of our relationship.
So is it in harmony or is it indiscord?
It all comes back to thisharmonization practice that we
have together.
It's like how, how do we wantwe get to choose?
Like, how do we want to live?
Like certainly I could becritical nonstop of Mike, and
then he's going to be like, oh,I don't want to be around that,
(28:57):
or he could be critical of me,or we could withdraw and hold
things in.
But instead it's much more funjust to be in harmony, correct
and to figure it out.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
And your relationship is a mirror, right?
It's a mirror of who you are.
So if you're wanting to seechange in your partner, you have
to change first.
If you're looking in a mirrorand you want your reflection to
smile, you don't wait for thereflection to smile, you smile
first.
And in regards to communication, communication needs to be a
daily habit, right?
Not a last resort.
(29:30):
It's like brushing your teethyou don't brush your teeth once
a month because you get cavities.
You brush your teeth everysingle day, so your
communication habits need to beon par.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
And the other thing is that you need to have a daily
check-in.
I love that you said that and Ilove that you're pointing out
how to have that daily check-in.
If the daily check-in is theperson just bitching the entire
time, obviously that's notenjoyable and it is exhausting
for the person that listens.
And also if it's the manlistening to the woman complain.
(30:08):
Men just want to make theirwoman happy, Like that's their
goal.
They want their woman to behappy.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Happy wife, happy life right.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Right, and so if they want that, and all you're doing
is complaining all the time,thinking like, oh well, I'm
getting it all out, and it'slike, yeah, but you're also
dumping.
And then it's also like whenyou probably aren't feeling good
.
So then your partner is neverreally seeing you in a loving,
(30:36):
happy, blissful state, correct?
So then they feel like, oh well, like I've lost the battle here
, I can't make her happy.
And you hear that a lot in ourcouples is like I don't know how
to make her happy anymore, andit's not the job of the partner,
it's the job of the person tomake themselves happy.
So we have this one questionthat is the title of our show
(31:00):
that we find really helps bringthe conversation together.
So sometimes when you doapproach each other, you're like
you know there's differentneeds that you might have of,
like why you're looking toconnect, and the question is do
you want to be helped, heard,helped or humped?
Speaker 2 (31:24):
That is so simple.
It is so simple.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Because we need something from our relationships
.
Like, we often approach asituation with a need in mind
and sometimes we get confusedand think like, oh, I'm just
going to complain for an hourstraight and instead, like you
could, you could just ask yourpartner when they come to you
and they look distressed or theylook like they need something.
(31:49):
Or you're like, hey, let's havea conversation.
And it's like, hey, let's startthis with what.
What are your needs?
Like, do you need to be helped?
Do you need to be heard?
Do you need to be helped?
Meaning like, if they say, yes,I need to be helped, help them
sort through whatever theproblem is, whatever the
challenge that they're lookingto overcome, or humped.
Like, honestly, sometimes wejust women, we just want to be
(32:11):
held, sometimes we just want tocomplain, which means we want to
be heard, and sometimes we justwant, like, intimacy and
connection and having thefreedom to say that, like, this
shit's going to change.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
And going back to the application process, right,
when you're in the heat of thebattle, you can either express
yourself and be heard and beunderstood, or you can expect
your partner to know what youneed.
And when you expect your partnerto know what you need, what
(32:48):
you're doing is you are settingyourself up and him or her, your
partner for uh, for, forfailure.
Right, because no one's a mindreader, right?
So if you are sitting with allthese mixed uh emotions and you
expect your partner to know whatthese emotions are and then to
provide you with the necessary H, you're setting yourself up for
(33:11):
disaster and all you need to dois communicate, right?
You just need to say hey, Ineed X, y and Z.
Right?
I had a hard day.
Can you just listen?
I had a hard day, I need to beheld, I had a hard day, I need
you to take me up to the bedroomand toss me around a little bit
, right, like you could just saythat and it would be received
(33:32):
and understood, versus you smackin the middle of the
conversation and someone's likeand your partner's like what are
you actually needing?
Speaker 1 (33:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
I have no idea what you're needing, because I'm
providing you with help, butyou're not needing help.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
And confusion leads also to discord.
So it's like, you know, if thegoal for the man is to make the
woman happy and the goal for thewoman is to be like, seen, and
they want their husband to feelseen, then you know like the
ground rules are different,right, the ground rules have to
be communicated fully and likewhat do you actually want from
(34:08):
this conversation and theintention, right?
So I love that.
You said that we have a bonusexercise that is linked in our
show notes, called heart toheart, and it's 22 questions for
love, laughter and connection.
It's part of this game changerplan that we have that we do in
(34:29):
our harmonization program.
So the goal for connection issometimes you just need help
with the questions.
It's good to have questions inthe mind, it's good to play this
, would you rather?
And these hypotheticals andhave fun with your partner.
But also, if you want to deepenthe connection, you want to
deepen the understanding of yourpartner, but also if you want
to deepen the connection, youwant to deepen the understanding
(34:51):
of your partner, take theseheart-to-heart questions and try
them out and let us know ifthey were helpful for you.
There's a PDF.
You just have to click the linkin our show notes and you will
get access to it.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
Booyah.
Now keep in mind that BooyahBooyah, it's a game changer,
right.
Great relationships aren'tfound, they are built one
conversation at a time.
Ooh, yes, I love that it's likea foundation, it's like a house
.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
You don't start with the roof, you start with the
foundation.
You start with being able toexpress yourself, being able to
understand your partner, beingable to understand yourself,
knowing that hard times willcome and they will go, and they
are not there to break you.
They're there to make you evenstronger.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Right, and this is why experts always say, oh, the
best relationships are foundedon great friendships, and I
think that's because theexpectation is removed where
it's like, oh, like, are wegoing to hook up, Like you also
kind of, with a friend, like,yeah, you hope they like you
back, you know.
But there is more, just thedesire to communicate and to
(36:02):
like build a friendship Right,and so I think that that is part
of the secret sauce for us too.
I found that we like each other, we're buddies, you did mention
something.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
When you start a friendship or any type of
relationship, most of theexpectation is removed.
Most of what you'reexperiencing is the expression
Watching her express herself, me, watching myself express.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
You know, it's the discovery process, it's the
exchange and it's like just anenergy exchange that doesn't
have like, oh, is this going tobe the, you know, father of my
children?
Or, like all of these crazypressures that we put on an
actual relationship, likesomething that is going to
sustain, you know, a lifetime, alifetime partner, like we
(36:53):
remove that and that's just notthere.
So I think take our challenge.
Our challenge to you is to dothe heart to heart 22 questions
and I guarantee you you aregoing to laugh, You're going to
feel a deeper connection andyou're going to fall back in
love with your partner.
If you are feeling like, why amI with this fool?
(37:14):
So one thing I want to say isthat our question of the week is
also a challenge.
Will you use the opportunity toconnect with your partner or
disconnect further?
Speaker 2 (37:31):
It is your choice, and one will lead to a positive
outcome and the other to anegative outcome.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
Right.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
Right, and what we're talking about also is habits,
like habitually.
What are you doing in order toadd more communication into your
relationship?
Speaker 1 (37:50):
So we've given you held, heard, helped or humped,
and we've given you these 22questions and then, just to
recap, if things are not working, you're not communicating well,
change your state, tell themlike, hey, I need a moment.
You can do the pause andprocess, approach and have fun
(38:10):
with your partner, like we'remeant to be here in a state of
joy.
That's where the word in joycomes from.
So we hope that you got so muchvalue out of this and that this
is going to strengthen yourbonds and commitments to the
people you're in relationshipswith your bonds and commitments
to the people you're inrelationships with and you know.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
until next time, empower each other, communicate
with love and keep growingtogether right, it's a growing
process.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Yes, and we are sending you the highest
vibrations.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
You are held.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
You are loved.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
Hey, what age are you actually looking for right now?
Speaker 1 (38:52):
Right now I'm looking for the age of happy.
Oh, that's not one of them.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
No, it's not.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
I'm always looking for the happy.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
This is the application process right.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
For the application.
If you and I were sitting downright now, I would go for a
little cuddle, so held.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
I personally want to get humped Shocker, so I'm not
sure what's going to happen.
When will my needs be met?
I was kidding, but I think thatthe more you play with this
concept and the more silly weare, the more it works.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Right.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
Like right here, right now.
That's not something that's oneof our problems.
Okay, the hump H in ourrelationship isn't one that is
providing us with hard times.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
Oh, it's providing us with great the kind of hard
times one wants In my opinion.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
Usually it's you wanting to be heard and me
thinking you wanted to be helped, and not listening to be heard,
but listening to help.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
And.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
I feel like when we do that, that's when we have
problems, which is why we shouldjust be like hey, listen, I
don't want to be helped, I justwant to be heard.
Speaker 1 (40:11):
Four H's.
What do you want?
What do you want, honey?
Speaker 2 (40:14):
That's it.
And sometimes you know if I'mcomplaining I should just be
like hey, you know what?
I don't want help, I just wanta hug.
And then boom, nice and easy.
We just have to expressourselves and not expect the
other person to do the work forus.
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
What you want, baby.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
It's not the four H's and then an M.
You know what I mean for mindreading.
Oh, I was like what's the M?
Speaker 1 (40:40):
That's not in the system.
Okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
Okay, the four H's lead to the fifth H, which is
happiness, happiness.
Hmm.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
Kisses.
So we have been running a program called
Coherence, which Mike was likeoh well, when we do podcasts, we
should run Coherence, thisatmosphere program.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
And it works.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
And it works, but it also you didn't mess up at all.
I didn't mess up at all.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
You're so much better this time, oh my God.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Welcome to the Empowerment Couple Podcast,
where your path to self-masteryexpands.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
My co-host is empowerment coach Zuri Starr.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
And he's expansion coach Mikey Starr.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Together we are the Empowerment Couple.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Our mission is simple to serve you, love, so you can
make informed decisions toregain and maintain your
personal power.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
We'll take you on a journey to a life filled with
purpose, passion and limitlesspossibilities, while sharing
stories of transformation.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Wellness hacks and healthy habits backed by science
and ancient wisdom.
Plus, we'll keep youentertained with engaging games,
banter and funny innuendosalong the way.
Each episode is an excitingblend of education,
entertainment and empowermentdesigned to help you create a
mindset to be a magnet for morelove, happiness and abundance.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Together with our special guests.
We are dedicated to sharinginformation that empowers you to
create your most beautiful life.
A one-zine, a two-zine, athree-zine your most beautiful
life.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
I got nothing.
I got nothing, I got nothing.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
You're supposed to say something I forgot.
Check, check, check, check.
The Healy was trying to get upon the show.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
With the mag on the table and it was like, oh, I'm
going to be in this podcast, I'myour special guest.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
What we don't know is the show is infused with
healing vibrations.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Well, we did run coherence, but I'm telling you
something about this.
Magnetic healing was like oh,I'm going to be a guest.
Let me tell you how I'm healingyou.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
It's like an audio halo around us.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Exactly so.
We didn't know we were going tohave a special guest today.
But today our special guest isthe mag Healy.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
So it's actually five H's.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Magnetic frequency.
Yes, it's not just the 4-H show.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Yeah, it's the 5-H show.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
It's the 5-H show.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
What do the 4-Hs stand for?
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Well, we're going to talk about relationship
communication today, yeah, andwe're going to get into an
exercise that we call the 4-Hand we will tell you about it
later.
Okay, but the show concept isreally just we want to make sure
you have some tools that willhelp you have better connection
with your partner.
Um, really, like, relationshipsare all about connection.
(02:54):
You're either growing togetheror growing apart, so you want to
dive into it.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
I do, I do, and it kind of goes in, goes in
alignment with what we alwayssay in regards to marriage.
If you swap out the wordmarriage for the word connection
, then you're always working onyour connection.
So part of that connection iswhat we're about to get into
right now.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yeah, and we're rounding out our theme for
February, which is all aboutlove and connection and
self-love, and you know we'vebeen giving you lots of content
around love and next month we'regoing to be talking about body
in our 12 areas of life.
Themes for the EmpowermentCouple podcast.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Well, first and foremost, communication isn't
just about talking, it's aboutconnection, right?
So what we really need to do iswork on our communication to
improve our connection.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Exactly, and communication is really the
foundation of a relationship.
A relationship withoutcommunication is like a house
without a foundation.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
It will fall.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
It will, and tumble, tumble down and sometimes a slow
tumble and who wants that right?
So the role of communication isreally to build trust, intimacy
and understanding.
Correct, and why do we want todo this?
We want to do this because itleads to better connection, more
fun, more flow, better sex andease.
(04:23):
And then you know you're notjust like a silent roommate with
your partner.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
That is correct.
Or an angry roommate, that iscorrect.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Or a resentful roommate.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
And with connection, breeds peace and harmony yes,
and when you are in peace andharmony, everything works Right.
Even the hard times have asilver lining around it, because
it allows you both to growthrough something that will make
you stronger.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
As long as there is peace and harmony.
Yes, Right.
So if there's no peace andharmony, your communication will
definitely switch.
Communication will definitelyswitch, For instance, if you are
in you know, battle mode or ifyou're wanting to have a
conversation where you come outthe victor.
You're probably going to belistening to respond instead of
(05:16):
listening to understand.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Yeah, it's a big communication pitfall.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Correct.
So you know, I've hadconversations with you where we
have been harmonious and thethings that you have said and
the things that I have said havebeen received Right.
But when we are in a battlemode, right, when we are looking
more for justice and less forpeace, then, um, then we're both
armed, right.
(05:41):
And when we're both armed,we're not listening to, to
communicate, we're listening torespond so that we can take a
blow and then blow back, pick ahit and hit back.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
And really, silence is something that can happen
when you stonewall or youwithdraw, and it's definitely so
.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
The lack of communication is a relationship
killer yeah, so either or eitheryou either talking, you either
listening to respond instead oflistening to understand, or
you're going to kind of withdrawentirely and silence isn't just
the absence of words, it's theabsence of connection.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
So the silent treatment is often used as a way
to like punish or control, butit really creates a lot of
dissonance and distance and, um,it never really can lead to uh
resolution.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
That is correct.
Uh, and, and I always say that,um, you know, when you are
communicating, you'recommunicating without a short,
communicating without a swordand a shield.
When you are coming into aconversation and you have a lot
of heat and you want theconversation to go in a
particular way, that's where thesword and the shield come out.
And then, once that comes out,you guys are both, you know,
(06:59):
arming yourself, because nobodywants to be hurt.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
And when you do the silent treatment or the
stonewalling, it triggersanxiety and insecurity in your
partner and it makes them feelunheard or unimportant.
For women, they feel unsafe andthen they close up.
And then you know the joy ofbeing a woman is to be free and
(07:22):
flowing and we need to feel safe.
A woman is to be free andflowing and we need to feel safe
.
And then, for men, they willfeel if their partner is giving
them the silent treatment.
They feel unseen and then theylook elsewhere to be seen.
So over time it just can erodetrust and intimacy and it really
creates an emotional disconnectthat's hard to repair.
(07:43):
So avoid the silent treatmentat all costs.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
And one of the other killers of that silent treatment
is bottling up your emotions,right.
So if you are having aconversation for peace, right,
you need to put all the cards onthe table, because there are
parts of you know.
If you're having a hard day atwork or you're dealing with some
(08:09):
, you know, emotional traumafrom the past or whatever it is,
the longer you hold on to it,the more it festers.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Right.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Right, it's not, it's energy.
It doesn't just go away, itstays there.
So, if you want to go throughthe, you know the
transmutational process you haveto process, and that's where
you know communication comes in,because if you are stonewalling
, your partner is stonewalling.
You guys aren't listening tounderstand, you're listening to
(08:38):
win a conversation.
Then, of course, you know,expressing yourself will be more
and more difficult, which ofcourse, was going to lead to
bottling up your emotions andonce that happens, things become
more and more explosive.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Like if you have an Instapot, it's like putting all
of your emotions in there andthen it becomes like a pressure
cooker waiting to explode andinstead of like releasing, like
you know, the like pressurecooker valve and like steams
everywhere, instead of that,like you know, it just keeps
cooking.
(09:12):
Yeah, so then once that happens, you know, like nobody wants
that, like you can alleviatethat if you just have some
conversations.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Well, you know, this is this.
This might be a little, alittle gross, however it has.
I've heard from friends who arehunters who state that when
hunting prey or whatnot, whatthey want to do is you know,
when they trap the animal andkill the animal, they want to do
it fast so that the animaldoesn't build up a lot of
anxiety in its meat and then itspoils the meat Super, super
(09:43):
gross.
However, we also have the samesituation in relationships where
we can spoil our whole bodysystem with pent-up energy so
that when we actually have aconversation with our partner,
we're not pure and connected, weare spoiled, right, we're kind
of rotten, and having thatconnection with someone who's
(10:06):
rotten doesn't really resonatewith peace, which is why you
need to communicate on a regularbasis.
You can't let anything build up.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Yeah.
So holding in emotions leads toresentment, which eventually
surfaces in passive, aggressivebehavior, outbursts or
withdrawal.
And then suppressing emotionscan also lead to physical stress
impacting overall well-being.
Point blank period.
Unspoken feelings don'tdisappear, they fester.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
They fester.
And who wants to wade in a bogwhen you can literally be
bathing in a crystalline pool oflove with your lover?
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Yes.
So instead of balling things up, we're suggesting that you can
practice these small, honestcheck-ins to release tension
before it builds.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Mm-hmm, and you know now is the time to break the
cycle.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Amen.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Now is always the time to do something more
positive for your relationshipand yourself really.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Yeah, and not to look back in judgment like just
practice now.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Practice now.
The power of now is beautifuland healthy.
Communication isn't aboutwinning, it's literally about
understanding.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Right, and instead of shutting down, you can use the
pause and process approach,right?
You know, when you're in theheat of battle and you realize
that you're not communicating,you're actually fighting.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
And the fight is escalating and it's escalating.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Instead of stonewalling and walking away,
you can actually say hey, let'spause and process right, and
that will give you enough time,hopefully, to breathe and
de-escalate your biochemicalprocesses inside your body.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Right and you can tell your partner like, hey,
this pause and process is, likeyou know, a commitment to
revisit when we're in a betterstate.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Correct.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
You know like, go get yourself into a better state.
There are times where Mike andI will be talking and I'm like,
hold on, I need to go, likestand on the vibe plate, or like
jump on the trampoline, or likeI need to do something.
I need to go outside, breathesome fresh air, like before we
have a conversation, becausesometimes I know like, oh, I'm
not going to bring my best selfto this.
So yeah, I mean changing yourstate really is a big.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Yeah, I mean going back to earlier this week.
We were making travel plans andanytime we make travel plans it
creates anxiety and you know,there's always a reason for
anxiety and worry because welive in this planet and we were
struggling with, you know,making plans and all that stuff.
(12:38):
And then we decided why don'twe just dance, right?
So we spent 20 minutes dancingin our kitchen.
We laughed, we hugged, wekissed afterwards and then,
within 24 hours, our travelplans were set.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Yeah, yep.
So if emotions are overwhelming, the other thing you can do is
write them down first to clarifywhat you're actually feeling,
and sometimes this can be like aventing exercise where nobody
you know gets your off gassingof your venting Correct.
So you can just, you know, getin your notes app if you want,
or take pen to paper and reallylike clarify what you're
(13:18):
actually feeling before speakingit, because sometimes we speak
to try to understand ourselves.
We aren't actually even speakingso the other person can
understand.
And so the other thing you cando if pause and process doesn't
resonate with you.
You can replace avoidance withvulnerability, saying something
like I need a moment, but I wantto talk about this.
(13:39):
This will keep the door openfor communication.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
And the open door is critical.
At no point do you want tosever that connection because
you think that it's going to getbetter with brute force or
whatever.
It is always better when youare harmonious and you are open
to communication, open toreceiving and giving information
.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
And disconnection leads to discord.
And discord in relationshipsmeans that you're not really
getting the joy out of thepartnership.
You want the harmony man.
You definitely want the harmony.
You need more cowbell.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Yeah, you need more cowbell.
And the other thing that youcan also do is, as you are
entering into conversationswhere you need to be heard or
you're making a decision, is towrite an intention statement for
that conversation.
Yep, right, and I think thatwill also focus both of your
guys' energies into a commongoal, so it's not more of a vent
(14:38):
session where you're pulling inall kinds of stagnant energy.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Yes, and I think, like in our previous podcast
episodes, we talk about like, ifyou wrote that intention and
then you shared it with eachother.
Like you know, there's one, oneepisode where we're talking
about like, what do you want?
Oh, I want peace.
Oh, and the other person wantspeace.
Okay, you can share those,those statements.
So I like that you reflectedback to that.
That has been effective.
Oh yeah, for the couples that wework with when we do our
(15:05):
harmonization programs, and alsoit's been helpful in our own
relationship.
We're always the test guineapigs.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Yes, Like does this work?
There's always all of ourclients and then ourselves as
clients.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Yeah, and boy, let me tell you Zuri, she is a tough
client.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Oh yeah, yeah, most certainly, she's very tough.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Excuse you, I think it's time to play a game.
We need to bring in some fun tothis show and some application.
And the point of having fun and, like Mike talked about going
into the kitchen is that studieshave confirmed that the hormone
oxytocin, when it's involved,it helps with forming
attachments.
(15:52):
In addition, they have shownthat this cuddle hormone can
increase trust and has a calmingeffect, decreasing stress,
anxiety and fear when couples dorecreational activities
together, like dancing in theirkitchen.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
And podcasting.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Oxytocin levels are elevated and I have to say, like
I was frustrated I'm going touse that word because I think
that's the closest sensation Iwas feeling about some of our
travel plans and just adjustingthings and, you know, doing all
the things that come into playwhen you are booking travel for
(16:28):
play and business and becausethat's how we do it Multiple
stops, rental cars, you knoweverything.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
House care, pet care.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
I have to say, like I have support, I have a team, I
have people who help me withsome of this, but some of it
ends up falling on me and then Ibring it to Mike and he's just
like what, okay, what?
Speaker 2 (16:51):
I'm managing my own things, I'm like what, but I
recognize that you weredefinitely struggling.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
I needed to feel, I needed to change my vibration,
and I wasn't able to do thatwithout some support.
So thank you for dancing withme, cause instantly after that I
was like, oh, yeah, like, whatam I?
What am I tripping off of?
Like I couldn't even rememberwhy I was so stuck.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Well, you mentioned the word application a couple of
minutes ago, and application iseverything right, it's one
thing to get some informationoff the internet or in books or
in movies and then store it inyour bookshelf, but when you
apply it, that's when the magic.
So you know, I recognize in youthat you are having a hard time
(17:35):
and I recognize the build andanxiety on my end, because I
still need answers and whatnot.
So it's like we can either jumpinto a conversation when we're
both filled with anxiety, whenour meat is spoiled, or we could
dance, and once we danced webecame higher versions of
ourselves, and that's where allof the answers are.
(17:57):
So we just we broke the cycleby applying what we know.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
And that cuddle hormone allowed us to then
communicate, like so, if you arestruggling in your relationship
, another tactic is if you'rereally just not seeing eye to
eye is do something fun togetherand then try to have a
conversation.
Yes, like if you're reallyhitting a dead end and it's just
not moving.
Do something fun together,whether you know, whatever your
(18:22):
fun looks like Ours was middleof February, dancing in our
kitchen.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
And we had a really good time.
Yes, it was hilarious.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Okay, so let's play a game it's called.
I Would Rather Okay, okay, andit's going to be a hypothetical,
which I know you love.
I love hypotheticals In thebeginning of our relationship,
mike would always give me ahypothetical of the day and it
drove me nuts, but it actually,I think, opened up a lot of
conversation.
So and like, let us get to knoweach other.
You know, like, knowing things,like you know, what would your
(18:54):
superpower be Like?
Would you rather blah, blah,blah?
And he would ask thesequestions and I have to say it
did generate a lot ofconversation.
But the only thing I didn'tlike about it is that he would
change the hypothetical midwaythrough my answer.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Yes, because you weren't answering it in a
spectacular way.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Okay, that is called criticism.
Do not do criticism or you willclose your relationship, will
suffer and the woman will closeup.
Okay, you don't want that?
Okay, so we're going to play agame.
I would rather and it's goingto be hypothetical Would you
rather, or would you blah, blah,blah?
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
All right.
So I've got a handful ofquestions here.
I'm ready.
We're going to start with thefirst one.
Okay, Would you rather haveunlimited wealth but no Wi-Fi,
or unlimited knowledge but aphone that only works on dial-up
?
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Unlimited knowledge, like I already have all the
knowledge.
Is that right?
Yes, so if I have all, I'mgoing to go for the second one,
because if I have all theknowledge, is that right?
Yes, so if I have all, I'mgoing to go for the second one,
because if I have all theknowledge I don't need anything.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Okay, but you would then give up unlimited wealth.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Well, with unlimited knowledge, I can get unlimited
wealth.
Unlimited wealth comes withlimitations.
Okay, this is where we differ,based on knowledge.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
I'll go for no Wi-Fi and I'll say unlimited wealth.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Because you could just be dumb and happy right on
the beach.
Wait, isn't it?
Unlimited wealth but no Wi-Fi?
Perfect, Nobody can reach meWhile you're dumb and happy on
the beach.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
I'm going to be super happy.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
See, this is why we work, yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
I'm going to be super happy owning the beach.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Next question Would you rather be able to instantly
manifest anything you want, butonly in a public restroom, or
have to give a TED Talk everytime you want to make a big
purchase?
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Or have to give a TED Talk every time you want to
make a big purchase.
I'm going to go for the publicrestroom one, because I will
literally find a restroom that Ican lock and it's nice and
pretty, and then I'll just sitthere and manifest shit all day.
Okay, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Yeah, I would probably go for the first one.
Okay, would you rather get $1million today but have to wear a
chicken suit for a year?
Or earn $100,000 per yearforever but have to work as a
mime on the weekends?
Speaker 2 (21:30):
A mime.
So a million dollars today anda chicken suit.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Chicken suit.
So you know $100,000 per year.
But then you have to work as amime on the weekends.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
I'm going to go for the million dollars and the
chicken suit, because therearen't any definitions in
regards to what the chicken suitactually looks like.
So for me, I'm thinking, youknow, a shirt with chickens on
it, a suit with chickens on it.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
You know what I'm saying?
Bok bok.
But that means like in 10 yearsI could wear a fresh
three-piece suit with chickenprint.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
I'm golden.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
So you don't want to work as a mime, basically.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
No, I want that million dollars up front.
Okay, I don't want to bewaiting on $1,000 or 100 grand
100 grand per year.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Forever, though.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
I know.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
So it's the marshmallow.
It's the marshmallow one.
You want the marshmallow now ortwo marshmallows later?
Okay, would you rather alwaysbe five minutes late to
everything this is hilarious,even major life events or always
be an hour early but have torecite a motivational speech to
a stranger every time?
Speaker 2 (22:39):
You know what I swear to God?
I am the living embodiment ofthe first one.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Yes, that's why I laughed.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
I'm always five minutes late, but somehow I'm
five minutes late and I'm stillgiving motivational speeches.
So it's weird how you just it'seither or, but it's always the
same.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
I think I would rather be five minutes late,
because I also tend to be fiveminutes late.
I don't want the motivationalspeech.
Yeah, an hour early, yeah, Idon't get the benefits of that
one Anytime.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
I'm early for something.
It's uncomfortable.
It's like man.
I got here too early.
I was like man.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I got here too early.
Okay, would you rather have thepower to manifest money
instantly, but only in the formof loose change, or manifest
happiness, but only throughinterpretive dance.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
I'm going to go for the loose change.
I'm going to go for the loosechange.
Wait a minute.
There's coin stars everywhere.
I would literally just stand infront of a coin star and my
pockets would fill with moneyand I'd put it in the coin star
machine and booyah.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
So you're going to be hanging out at Walmart or like
I don't know.
Where else do they have this?
You're going to be hanging outthere a lot.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
After a while I'll probably hire people to change
money.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
I'm going to do manifest happiness, but only
through interpretive dance.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
I knew you would.
I knew you would.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Give me the happiness Full stop.
I'm not no coin star.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Coin star here I come Hero.
Cha-ching, cha-ching Okay acouple more.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Would you rather be able to read minds, but it only
works when people are thinkingabout food.
Or be able to predict thefuture, but only 10 minutes
ahead.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Definitely predict the future 10 minutes ahead.
I'm going to be a lot of winner, probably within the next 20
minutes, as far as the first one.
If I was a chef, that would beperfect, but seeing that I'm not
a chef in a professional manner, then I'd just be walking
around and people would bethinking about donuts yeah you
know?
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Yeah.
Why would you need that?
Okay, would you rather wake upevery morning with a random
inspirational quote tattooed onyour arm or have to introduce
yourself to new people in thestyle of a WWE wrestler?
Speaker 2 (25:00):
wrestler oh, wwe wrestler right.
Hmm, um gee whiz gee whiz dothat through the first one.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
One more time I'm uh, what do you mean?
Do the?
Speaker 2 (25:15):
first one.
You mean read it again, eitheror okay.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Would you rather wake up every morning with a random
inspirational quote tattooed onyour arm or have to introduce
yourself to new people in thestyle of a WWE wrestler?
Speaker 2 (25:31):
I'm going to go for the WWE wrestler because I feel
like, you know, I'm not likeHulk Hogan, you know I don't
have, like these huge, massivearms.
So I'd feel like within a monthmy arm would be all inked up.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
You already have a lot of ink in your arm, yeah
exactly.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
So at what point am I going to be?
Like?
I won't even be able to see themotivational things because
it'll be over old tattoos.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
You know what I'm saying?
Okay, well, introduce yourselfthen as the WWE wrestler.
Who would you be?
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Well, back in the day , I don't want to you know.
Back in the day.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Back in the day.
Back in the day.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Don't do it Back in the 80s.
Careful.
My favorite was Macho Randy manSavage.
You talk like this, brother.
You know what I'm saying.
My name is Michael Storr andI'm here here to coach you.
Now get your ass in the shape.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
So that's how you'd introduce yourself.
Yeah, that's pretty much, butlike what?
What do you do?
What's your?
What's your wrestling ability?
Speaker 2 (26:33):
well, I would definitely rip off my shirt okay
and I would be like covered ingrease and oil.
That would look like sweat, butit would be, you know, oil and
grease.
And yeah, I would, just, youknow, walk up and with some
fucking dope ass Speedos.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
You know some tassels on the Speedos you know big old
tall wrestling boots.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
I'd be a, I'd be a menace.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Tall wrestling boots.
I'd be a menace Tall wrestlingboots.
I'd be a visual menace Can wemake an agreement right now that
for Halloween 2025, that youare a wrestler that wears a
Speedo, with tassels andwrestling boots.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
You're going to have to take me somewhere where it's
warm then, because I ain't doingthat shit.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
No, we will, we will.
We'll go to the warmest place.
We'll be in Ibiza.
Okay, yeah, ibiza's good andyou are going to.
Then I'll be a wrestling chickand this will be interesting
because I might have to startgetting muscly.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
You can be the scorecard chick.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
The scorecard chick.
The ring girl, the ring girl.
Wow, I got demoted quick.
No, I'm going to take you on.
What are you talking about,randy Savage?
Okay, well, that was a fun gameand see how, if you play a game
with your partner, you canlearn something about them.
I pretty much knew that youwould go for the ones that you
went for.
These are just random things onthe internet that I found, so I
(28:02):
didn't come up with them.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
This tends to be how we drink coffee together, how we
have tea together, how wetravel together, which is these
random questions to get eachother laughing, and a lot of
times when we do that, we'reactually letting go of emotions.
Right, we're laughing thingsaway, and then we can bring
things up in a, you know, heavythings up in a humorous tone,
(28:26):
which definitely lightens theload.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
And the way we speak to each other becomes the
soundtrack of our relationship.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
That is beautiful.
Say that one more time.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
The way we speak to each other becomes a soundtrack
of our relationship.
So is it in harmony or is it indiscord?
It all comes back to thisharmonization practice that we
have together.
It's like how, how do we wantwe get to choose?
Like, how do we want to live?
Like certainly I could becritical nonstop of Mike, and
then he's going to be like, oh,I don't want to be around that,
(28:57):
or he could be critical of me,or we could withdraw and hold
things in.
But instead it's much more funjust to be in harmony, correct
and to figure it out.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
And your relationship is a mirror, right?
It's a mirror of who you are.
So if you're wanting to seechange in your partner, you have
to change first.
If you're looking in a mirrorand you want your reflection to
smile, you don't wait for thereflection to smile, you smile
first.
And in regards to communication, communication needs to be a
daily habit, right?
Not a last resort.
(29:30):
It's like brushing your teethyou don't brush your teeth once
a month because you get cavities.
You brush your teeth everysingle day, so your
communication habits need to beon par.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
And the other thing is that you need to have a daily
check-in.
I love that you said that and Ilove that you're pointing out
how to have that daily check-in.
If the daily check-in is theperson just bitching the entire
time, obviously that's notenjoyable and it is exhausting
for the person that listens.
And also if it's the manlistening to the woman complain.
(30:08):
Men just want to make theirwoman happy, Like that's their
goal.
They want their woman to behappy.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Happy wife, happy life right.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Right, and so if they want that, and all you're doing
is complaining all the time,thinking like, oh well, I'm
getting it all out, and it'slike, yeah, but you're also
dumping.
And then it's also like whenyou probably aren't feeling good
.
So then your partner is neverreally seeing you in a loving,
(30:36):
happy, blissful state, correct?
So then they feel like, oh well, like I've lost the battle here
, I can't make her happy.
And you hear that a lot in ourcouples is like I don't know how
to make her happy anymore, andit's not the job of the partner,
it's the job of the person tomake themselves happy.
So we have this one questionthat is the title of our show
(31:00):
that we find really helps bringthe conversation together.
So sometimes when you doapproach each other, you're like
you know there's differentneeds that you might have of,
like why you're looking toconnect, and the question is do
you want to be helped, heard,helped or humped?
Speaker 2 (31:24):
That is so simple.
It is so simple.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Because we need something from our relationships
.
Like, we often approach asituation with a need in mind
and sometimes we get confusedand think like, oh, I'm just
going to complain for an hourstraight and instead, like you
could, you could just ask yourpartner when they come to you
and they look distressed or theylook like they need something.
(31:49):
Or you're like, hey, let's havea conversation.
And it's like, hey, let's startthis with what.
What are your needs?
Like, do you need to be helped?
Do you need to be heard?
Do you need to be helped?
Meaning like, if they say, yes,I need to be helped, help them
sort through whatever theproblem is, whatever the
challenge that they're lookingto overcome, or humped.
Like, honestly, sometimes wejust women, we just want to be
(32:11):
held, sometimes we just want tocomplain, which means we want to
be heard, and sometimes we justwant, like, intimacy and
connection and having thefreedom to say that, like, this
shit's going to change.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
And going back to the application process, right,
when you're in the heat of thebattle, you can either express
yourself and be heard and beunderstood, or you can expect
your partner to know what youneed.
And when you expect your partnerto know what you need, what
(32:48):
you're doing is you are settingyourself up and him or her, your
partner for uh, for, forfailure.
Right, because no one's a mindreader, right?
So if you are sitting with allthese mixed uh emotions and you
expect your partner to know whatthese emotions are and then to
provide you with the necessary H, you're setting yourself up for
(33:11):
disaster and all you need to dois communicate, right?
You just need to say hey, Ineed X, y and Z.
Right?
I had a hard day.
Can you just listen?
I had a hard day, I need to beheld, I had a hard day, I need
you to take me up to the bedroomand toss me around a little bit
, right, like you could just saythat and it would be received
(33:32):
and understood, versus you smackin the middle of the
conversation and someone's likeand your partner's like what are
you actually needing?
Speaker 1 (33:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
I have no idea what you're needing, because I'm
providing you with help, butyou're not needing help.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
And confusion leads also to discord.
So it's like, you know, if thegoal for the man is to make the
woman happy and the goal for thewoman is to be like, seen, and
they want their husband to feelseen, then you know like the
ground rules are different,right, the ground rules have to
be communicated fully and likewhat do you actually want from
(34:08):
this conversation and theintention, right?
So I love that.
You said that we have a bonusexercise that is linked in our
show notes, called heart toheart, and it's 22 questions for
love, laughter and connection.
It's part of this game changerplan that we have that we do in
(34:29):
our harmonization program.
So the goal for connection issometimes you just need help
with the questions.
It's good to have questions inthe mind, it's good to play this
, would you rather?
And these hypotheticals andhave fun with your partner.
But also, if you want to deepenthe connection, you want to
deepen the understanding of yourpartner, but also if you want
to deepen the connection, youwant to deepen the understanding
(34:51):
of your partner, take theseheart-to-heart questions and try
them out and let us know ifthey were helpful for you.
There's a PDF.
You just have to click the linkin our show notes and you will
get access to it.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
Booyah.
Now keep in mind that BooyahBooyah, it's a game changer,
right.
Great relationships aren'tfound, they are built one
conversation at a time.
Ooh, yes, I love that it's likea foundation, it's like a house
.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
You don't start with the roof, you start with the
foundation.
You start with being able toexpress yourself, being able to
understand your partner, beingable to understand yourself,
knowing that hard times willcome and they will go, and they
are not there to break you.
They're there to make you evenstronger.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Right, and this is why experts always say, oh, the
best relationships are foundedon great friendships, and I
think that's because theexpectation is removed where
it's like, oh, like, are wegoing to hook up, Like you also
kind of, with a friend, like,yeah, you hope they like you
back, you know.
But there is more, just thedesire to communicate and to
(36:02):
like build a friendship Right,and so I think that that is part
of the secret sauce for us too.
I found that we like each other, we're buddies, you did mention
something.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
When you start a friendship or any type of
relationship, most of theexpectation is removed.
Most of what you'reexperiencing is the expression
Watching her express herself, me, watching myself express.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
You know, it's the discovery process, it's the
exchange and it's like just anenergy exchange that doesn't
have like, oh, is this going tobe the, you know, father of my
children?
Or, like all of these crazypressures that we put on an
actual relationship, likesomething that is going to
sustain, you know, a lifetime, alifetime partner, like we
(36:53):
remove that and that's just notthere.
So I think take our challenge.
Our challenge to you is to dothe heart to heart 22 questions
and I guarantee you you aregoing to laugh, You're going to
feel a deeper connection andyou're going to fall back in
love with your partner.
If you are feeling like, why amI with this fool?
(37:14):
So one thing I want to say isthat our question of the week is
also a challenge.
Will you use the opportunity toconnect with your partner or
disconnect further?
Speaker 2 (37:31):
It is your choice, and one will lead to a positive
outcome and the other to anegative outcome.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
Right.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
Right, and what we're talking about also is habits,
like habitually.
What are you doing in order toadd more communication into your
relationship?
Speaker 1 (37:50):
So we've given you held, heard, helped or humped,
and we've given you these 22questions and then, just to
recap, if things are not working, you're not communicating well,
change your state, tell themlike, hey, I need a moment.
You can do the pause andprocess, approach and have fun
(38:10):
with your partner, like we'remeant to be here in a state of
joy.
That's where the word in joycomes from.
So we hope that you got so muchvalue out of this and that this
is going to strengthen yourbonds and commitments to the
people you're in relationshipswith your bonds and commitments
to the people you're inrelationships with and you know.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
until next time, empower each other, communicate
with love and keep growingtogether right, it's a growing
process.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Yes, and we are sending you the highest
vibrations.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
You are held.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
You are loved.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
Hey, what age are you actually looking for right now?
Speaker 1 (38:52):
Right now I'm looking for the age of happy.
Oh, that's not one of them.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
No, it's not.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
I'm always looking for the happy.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
This is the application process right.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
For the application.
If you and I were sitting downright now, I would go for a
little cuddle, so held.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
I personally want to get humped Shocker, so I'm not
sure what's going to happen.
When will my needs be met?
I was kidding, but I think thatthe more you play with this
concept and the more silly weare, the more it works.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Right.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
Like right here, right now.
That's not something that's oneof our problems.
Okay, the hump H in ourrelationship isn't one that is
providing us with hard times.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
Oh, it's providing us with great the kind of hard
times one wants In my opinion.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
Usually it's you wanting to be heard and me
thinking you wanted to be helped, and not listening to be heard,
but listening to help.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
And.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
I feel like when we do that, that's when we have
problems, which is why we shouldjust be like hey, listen, I
don't want to be helped, I justwant to be heard.
Speaker 1 (40:11):
Four H's.
What do you want?
What do you want, honey?
Speaker 2 (40:14):
That's it.
And sometimes you know if I'mcomplaining I should just be
like hey, you know what?
I don't want help, I just wanta hug.
And then boom, nice and easy.
We just have to expressourselves and not expect the
other person to do the work forus.
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
What you want, baby.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
It's not the four H's and then an M.
You know what I mean for mindreading.
Oh, I was like what's the M?
Speaker 1 (40:40):
That's not in the system.
Okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
Okay, the four H's lead to the fifth H, which is
happiness, happiness.
Hmm.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
Kisses.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!