November 26, 2024 • 34 mins
On this week’s episode of The Even If Podcast, we talk about how we are giving ourselves grace and choosing gratitude… even if it doesn’t come naturally. Thanksgiving is a great time to slow down and choose to be grateful, regardless of your circumstances. Enjoy this week’s episode and remember, even if, He is still good.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome back to the Even If podcast.
(00:05):
I'm Kenzie and I'm Sarah.
And today's episode is give yourself grace
and choose gratitude,
even if it doesn't come naturally
because he is still good.
Yes, he is.
Okay.
It's Thanksgiving week.
What are your plants?
Do you want to come over to my house?
I'm inviting everyone.
Wait, what?
Yeah, I'm actually curious.
(00:26):
Well, my mom and I always like just
invite everybody that doesn't have a place to go.
And I know you have a place to go,
but I've got a bunch of my friends.
Are you serious?
My three friends that are not going to go home.
And a couple of those that are like going to go
be with their family in the morning
and they're going to come over.
We are a sweatpants family.
We wear sweatpants.
It's not fancy.
(00:47):
I love that.
It's a bunch of dogs.
We're going to hot tub, watch movies and eat.
Wait, maybe sauna?
We're going to do it all.
Thanksgiving day, like on Thursday.
Yeah.
I'll come over.
Talk to parents.
Let them know.
Wow.
See if they're cool with it.
That's so sweet.
Okay.
So is that typically what y'all do on Thanksgiving?
Yeah.
(01:08):
So is your brother coming in town?
No, sadly.
So my parents are divorced, as you know.
Those of you that don't.
So we kind of, we try to balance the holidays.
To be honest, I just don't like not being with my mom.
So my brother, I think it's going to be with my dad.
This Thanksgiving, I'm always with mom.
And also I always work on Thanksgiving.
I teach like a power hour class in the morning.
Oh, fun.
(01:29):
That's fun.
I want to come to that.
You should come.
Okay.
It's 9.15.
I'm teaching at 9.15.
Listeners, come on.
It's probably going to be.
An hour class.
It's so fun.
It's so fun.
It's so fun.
So you need to come.
So I teach on Thursday and it's kind of been such a get.
Well, it's not kind of been.
It's been a wonderful gift and I'm so grateful because my mom's here.
(01:50):
And a lot of people as natural as such a transplant city, like my,
my whole team is gone.
So I'm the one there to teach and I'm happy to do it.
So for the last like, I don't know, I want to say six years last year.
I wasn't there, but I teach on Thanksgiving.
That's so teach.
And then I run home and help mom in the kitchen.
And my mom is like the best at things.
I mean, she's the best all the time,
(02:11):
but she does the holiday so well.
So then we'll just,
she does parties.
She just party.
She's the host with the mostest.
So yeah.
And it's super just relaxed and cozy and fun.
And my mom is the best cook ever and we'll just cook a bunch and eat
when the food's ready.
Barbie Joe, I'm close to her.
She'll be like, come on Sarah, please.
So, it'd be so fun.
(02:32):
So yeah.
What do you do?
Tell me about your holidays.
What are you doing this year?
So we typically will do just such a classic Thanksgiving of all the family together.
But I will say for me, it looks different because I have three brothers and
they're all married.
And so something my parents have done really well, which I'm so grateful for is
that they have just kind of been like, we would love to be together if possible,
(02:54):
but however that looks.
And so we're always okay just not doing the holiday on the holiday.
That's awesome.
Which has been great.
And I think it took me a while to get used to because I'm the only one that's
single and that doesn't get to do anything on the holiday.
So I mean, I remember my first, maybe that's my first Thanksgiving where my
last brother got married and so it was just mom, dad and me.
(03:17):
And so all of my brothers go to have Thanksgiving with their wives family.
And so it was just mom, dad and me.
Wow.
And they actually took me on a trip.
We went to Savannah, Georgia.
And it was so special and so fun.
And I think I was agreeing it too, but it ended up being no, totally.
Good.
And so now that's just kind of what we do.
So on Thanksgiving, like Thursday, I actually have no plans.
(03:38):
So I like my.
Come on.
Come on.
And then we'll do our Thanksgiving on Friday.
Oh, I love that.
Yeah.
Okay.
But our table is always open too.
It's kind of like, yeah, my cousin, I have a couple of cousins that, uh, my family
spread out all over.
So I have a couple of cousins that live in Indiana, Chicago.
And so sometimes they'll just come in.
I invited a few friends from Charleston.
(04:00):
It's just like our table's open and somebody would need something.
Somebody needs something just come over.
Yeah.
I love that.
I feel like I have this policy that I want to adapt when I'm married one day,
but I want, it's like an open door stocked fridge policy.
Love it.
Yes.
Yeah.
The more the merrier, last minute, someone needs to come over.
Great.
Come on.
We'll pull up a seat.
(04:21):
We can make multiple tables.
We'll have tons of food.
And so my mom's like that.
And I want to do that same thing.
So it sounds like the same with your family.
Yeah.
Well, if you want to come on over, even if you want to come for like a hot tub and a
movie, honestly, I don't want to come to full ride in the morning.
Yeah.
Okay.
Y'all have not been to full ride listeners.
Come, come, come, come, come with us.
It's the best.
It's so much fun.
(04:42):
It's so much fun.
Okay.
Well, we are, we're just going to share some areas of our lives that we are giving ourselves
a lot of grace in and seeing and choosing the gratitude.
And so we're just going all gratitude today.
We're just going to jump right in gratitude, not gratitude only, but just like instead
of going, okay, yeah, this is hard, but we're really grateful.
(05:04):
We're just going to talk about ways in which we're so grateful in areas of our life that
you might be surprised that we are actually really grateful in because I think it is a
pair, a paradox too at times of there are things that are hard and we're still thankful
for it and it can be both of those things.
And that's what this podcast is a lot about of that, even if this happens, he is still
good or even if, and it's true.
(05:25):
And but today it's just, we are going to just dive into the ways that we are grateful.
Are grateful.
Yes, ma'am.
So we want to start with what does Jesus say about gratitude?
And we love this verse, 1 Thessalonians 5, 16 through 18 says, rejoice always, pray continually
and give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you and Christ Jesus.
(05:48):
I love that.
And that's like, you know, what does God say about gratitude?
What does he say about it?
That's a great question to ask this holiday season.
He literally says to give thanks in all circumstances.
Like what?
It's so hard to do.
That's crazy.
Rejoice always.
That's hard.
Yeah.
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances.
(06:10):
That is such a good like memory verse even because it's so simple and it's things I think
we can always work on.
Rejoicing always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will
for you and Christ Jesus.
And I also feel like in that verse, it's like the ways in which I've found to go deeper
in my gratitude are the same ways in which I've gone deeper in my faith.
(06:33):
They have been through hardship and surrendering things.
And so I think like, you know, as we talk through like, you know, this verse rejoice
always pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances.
You're like, how do I do that?
Well, at least for me, I've learned by experience and it's actually is possible to give thanks
in all circumstances.
I think the older you get the and the wiser you become, you kind of start to see that in
(06:57):
my life, at least for me, I've seen it in my own life and I know you, you have to, I
was just talking to somebody the other day.
I was probably my dad.
My dad always has.
He's so wise.
But he was saying that he read something or whoever was was saying that they read something
about how anxiety and gratitude can't coexist.
Yeah.
Have you heard that too?
(07:18):
I've heard this and in seasons of really struggling with anxiety.
That is something that's hard to hear because it's like, oh, just be grateful and it's gone.
It's like true gratitude, truly feeling grateful for things like that anxiety cannot exist.
That is how our brains were created.
That's wild.
It's crazy.
It's actually to sit in my class all the time, but same way that anxiety cannot live in your
(07:43):
brain because you can't ruminate if your body is in motion.
So kind of a similar thing in the sense of like, if you're thinking about gratitude and
you're actually, I don't know, the word meditate, I don't necessarily use that word, but just
I think about like praying or thinking and like focusing on something like I genuinely
will sometimes go, I'm so thankful for this car that drove me to work today.
(08:04):
I'm so grateful for my legs like that they are able to get me through my classes so I
can make money and like do my job.
And I know it sounds so cheesy, but I think when you do lose a lot of things, you find
maybe a sense of ease and really like value things that you probably wouldn't value as
(08:24):
much had you not gone through that hard thing.
And so I just think like in the same way that anxiety can't live in your brain when you're
working out and moving your body because there's no time for your brain to process both.
I think that's probably what you're saying too.
Like those two things can't coexist in your brain.
Just so good.
Okay.
We kick us off.
What's something that you're grateful for?
(08:45):
Okay.
This is so fun because we both brought in a list of things and there are so many that
I think we could both share.
But one that's top of mind right now is just being a business owner.
My own business owner is I am so grateful for that.
I am grateful for the flexibility that it's giving me because we're not allowed to talk
(09:06):
about hard things, right?
I know.
I was gonna say like, but it's hard not to talk because like here's the thing I think
for us, our perspective is the hard things are the good things, you know?
Like I think there's a part of it that's like, yeah, I don't think grad.
Okay.
Go with me for a second.
I'm gonna process this out loud.
This sounds crazy.
Like can you just edit this out?
No, we're keeping it.
Go.
(09:26):
But I feel like I feel like gratitude can't exist without hard things.
I don't think that gratitude really can be as substantial and meaningful if we haven't
walked through and or if there isn't a hard thing to compare it to because otherwise if
we just have all these good things all the time, I must think about like someone really
famous and wealthy when their standard is just getting on a private jet, renting out
(09:48):
this island.
That's it's not their fault that well, I'm not gonna say that because I'm not them.
I don't know if it's their fault or not, but I just think that that's their normalcy and
everything around them is at such ease because money is not a factor for them.
Right.
So it's like they don't understand necessarily the things that we would understand as much
and so I don't even know if I'm making sense right now, but I feel like you are.
(10:10):
Okay.
Hold my mic.
Okay.
For me.
Okay.
I'm gonna hold your mic.
Hold it right here.
This is when we need my sense.
Okay.
I'm gonna hold your mic.
I wish you guys could see us while you walk because we're gonna one day start pushing
more videos.
Okay.
That's true.
Okay.
So like if you only know this much, if you've been given this much, then you're so thankful
this much.
Yeah.
But then you've been given this much and then we're thankful this much.
(10:32):
And if you've been given this much, my hands are spread wide open, right?
Like if I've been given this much, then my knowledge of gratitude is that much.
It was a sermon and it was comparing the same thing of like if my hurt that I've been
through or pain that I've been through is this much, the sin that I've done is this
much, then I know God's grace and forgiveness this much.
But when I have done this much sin and I know this much sin, I've experienced this much
(10:56):
of God's grace and forgiveness and it just extends and extends.
So I do think that there's things.
I do think that there's things.
I'm not gonna lie.
That was a little too messy on my muscles.
I just needed my hands to show you.
The administrator is really struggling.
I needed my hands to show you.
I know girl.
I know.
God's grace is.
I know.
I know.
Yes.
But yes.
I think that's true.
Because I don't know if it's that hard and gratitude have to go together because I think
(11:18):
we can be grateful for things regardless if it was hard.
But I think we know deeper gratitude.
Yes.
Deeper.
That's it.
Yeah.
There we go.
Two minds had to bring that one together.
But yeah.
That's exactly it.
Okay.
So anyways, back to your original thing.
We can talk about hard things.
Being a business owner in our gratitude episode.
So I think I was thinking about that because I'm so grateful for being a business owner
(11:38):
and this episode is about gratitude because it's important to remind myself about how
grateful I am that I have a business where I get to choose the hours that work for me
and I get to do the career that I want to do.
And I'm so grateful for those things because I think there are days where it's like it
is so hard to be a business owner.
(11:58):
It is so hard.
I feel like I cannot constantly like I can't get enough done.
I was talking to my friend summer about this the other day of just when you're a business
owner, you don't know when to shut off because you don't clock out.
Yeah.
And that's so hard.
I'm constantly marketing.
I'm a client and it's all things I love, but then there's the hard side.
And so truly though, to slow down and in the season right now to be like, I am so grateful
(12:20):
for it though.
I'm grateful for being able to have this business and have this office and have my clients and
my clients are everything to me.
Like I feel like I look at all of them, like my little sisters that I just love so much
and I'm so grateful for that.
I love that.
I honestly, I mean, I completely agree.
It's like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(12:40):
I do.
I mean, it's, there's a lot of hard, but the good just completely trumps and outweighs
it.
And I think I can relate totally in the same way of just the flexibility that I have with
my schedule and even on the hardest days, especially when I'm looking at the PNL and
I'm obsessing over the numbers and I'm just like stress financially, which is part of
being a business owner.
You get paid off the bottom line.
(13:01):
There's a lot of times I don't get paid.
And that is the risk that you run, but the lives that are changed through what I feel
like we get to do as business owners.
And I feel like that's another thing that I'm so grateful for.
And I know you are too is that we don't just run businesses, but we're running businesses
that are empowering the lives of other people.
And that's just been a really cool blessing that I've been able to, and I'm so grateful
(13:26):
to have been given.
So I agree.
What would you say you're most thankful for with being a business owner owning full ride?
Cause it's a lot of work.
It is a lot of work.
It is.
Yeah.
What in the season are you most thankful for about it?
In this season, particularly, I'm just so thankful for my day to day.
I love my day to day.
It is the flexibility, the flexibility.
(13:48):
I love the work I get to do.
Like some days I'm teaching all the classes and I'm going from thing to thing to thing.
And I love that.
And then the next day, my day will look like I get to sleep in a little bit and have a
slow morning.
And then I'm doing a shoot and coming here to record with you.
And then I'm teaching a class and then I'm running to a meeting with people.
(14:08):
I love that I get to work with.
So I think one of my favorite things in this season of gratitude and just really reflecting
on that is who I get to work with.
I have the best people in my life.
And at full ride, I'm just so grateful.
And I get to work with my friends and women that I really love.
And I get to just like steward and be a part of their lives in a really unique way.
I would say that's probably my favorite.
(14:30):
And then another one is honestly, full ride feels like it is this vessel, but I've been
able to mentor without even knowing how I'm doing it.
I think the Lord just given me this title and role of leadership and I've watched women
come in that aren't really sure what they're passionate about.
They kind of want to work their front desk because they want to make friends or they
(14:50):
want to make extra money.
And then all of a sudden now they threw forward through people they've met through, you know,
my leadership and other teams leadership, other team members leadership.
They're all of a sudden like they figure out what they love.
They're super passionate about it.
And then they go off to the next thing and they get to go do that.
And I'm like, if that's also all full ride is, that's awesome.
(15:10):
And so you're empowering women.
Yeah, I just love that.
I love that part of being a business owner.
I don't think I would like being a business owner if I didn't get to be a business owner
in the field that I'm in.
You know, I think I just get to see and be a part of something so much bigger than myself.
Yeah.
What about you?
What is your what's on your list of something?
(15:31):
You know, singleness.
And I am really grateful.
I am.
It does not mean that I don't want to date.
Yeah.
I mean, my guy, I definitely do.
We're just choosing again, back to the title, right?
We are giving ourselves grace and choosing.
Choosing gratitude.
Yeah, I just am really grateful.
I love being single.
(15:52):
Maybe a little too much.
I probably should.
No, actually, no, I just love being single.
And I'm really excited to meet my person.
But I have loved the freedom that I get in singleness and not in a selfish way, just
in a way of what the Lord is allowing me to do in this season.
I feel like I am absolutely maximizing my singleness.
(16:12):
Like that's one thing I feel like.
Tell the Kelsey Ballerini story.
Okay, I'll tell the Kelsey Ballerini story.
Okay, so Kelsey Ballerini is my, if you know me, you're like probably rolling your eyes
being like this girl's obsessed.
And I am.
I am obsessed with Kelsey Ballerini.
Oh, dear.
I really am.
I love her.
I love her writing.
I'm just, I've heard, I've heard she's a wonderful person.
I've seen her from a distance.
(16:34):
But honestly, I just really respect her as an artist and the way that she writes.
And I kind of feel like she's written about my life.
And I'm sure everyone feels that way that loves her.
So anyways, my best friend and I love her.
And we just feel like the last few albums that she's put out, we have very much been
able to relate to some of that.
And we told her each other, hey, we've never seen her live.
(16:56):
And we're like, okay, we need to go see her live.
And we're like, we live in Nashville.
This is crazy.
Well, at least I have a live in Nashville.
She's an awesome, but I said, yeah, we'll get to see her at some point.
And she launched that she was playing in Madison Square Garden in New York.
And Ken and I love going to New York.
We go there once a year together as besties.
And so I was like, we have to go to the show.
And meanwhile, this is not a good time for us both financially to make making such a decision.
(17:19):
But you're saying hello.
And so we decided we're like, yeah, we got to go.
And then I was, I happened to be like, I don't know.
I think I was strilling on Instagram and chase rewards.
Like the credit card was offering early access book.
And you had a chase card.
So these, these seats became available.
You were saying you opened up a credit card to do this.
(17:41):
Hey, that's, I don't put that pass me.
No, you know, I will do that.
But no, no, no, we, you're finding deals.
So I was finding deals.
I was like, early.
Well, I don't know if you would say this is a deal, but I got early access to these tickets.
Ken and I flew to New York for less than 48 hours.
And we went to Madison Square Garden and we dressed up in sparkles and so far to see our
favorite artists.
And it was so fun.
(18:02):
And I think a big part of why I'm so thankful for singleness in this season.
And again, ready to meet my guy a hundred percent, but I just got to say, I got to just
be like, I'm going, I didn't have to check with my hubby and make sure that he was good
with it and that the kids were taking care of.
And also like even being a parent, there's a whole other weight of like, I don't want
(18:24):
to miss maybe this person's recital or I don't want to miss morning time because I, there's
all these other factors I would have to think about as a mom that I want to think about.
Yeah.
But right now I don't have to.
There's freedom there.
So it gives me just the ability.
And I feel like that's one thing I'm really excited about to, if I, the Lord gives me
daughters is to just be able to tell them about mom's single season and how I maximize
(18:47):
it.
And I have no regrets in the things that I've done that I feel like are for the Lord, for
the kingdom, having fun, living my life, laughing to light, pee my pants, like, you know, just
all these fun, crazy things that I feel like I am so thankful for.
And I didn't have a ton of freedom in my own spirit in my twenties.
(19:11):
And a big part of me feels like the Lord has just given me this gift in my thirties to
be like, I want you to experience certain things and I want you to get obviously to
a certain point to where you're ready.
But I just can't help but think he's already redeeming time for me by giving me it differently.
You know, he's giving me time with girlfriends and with my mom and time with myself and with
(19:34):
the Lord.
Yeah.
And I just can't help but just sit in that gratitude.
Yeah.
There's a lot to be grateful for in singleness.
And it's funny because if you listen to our first episodes, we talk about how it's hard
to be 30 and single.
Yeah.
And that's so true.
There's so much to be grateful for.
I have the freedom to do what I want and go where I want.
And there are times where I do that and I book a trip or I do something and then I'm
(19:56):
like on a plane being like, nobody knows where I am or what I'm doing.
Or I'll like buy something and I'm like, nobody knows how much money I have.
You know, I've talked about this recently talked about this actually.
Yeah.
It is crazy.
Just the things I'm able to do being single and the friendships I can invest in, the
(20:16):
time I get with girlfriends and there is things to still be grateful for.
Yeah.
Totally.
Totally.
I feel like also too on the singleness topic because you and I are both in our thirties.
I think it's personally, I just think it is easier when you're in your twenties to be
like, yeah, I'm grateful I'm single.
I think it gets harder as you get older to find that gratitude and being single.
(20:38):
And anybody that is in their thirties, I'm 34 and I am fighting that lie by that I'm
too old or I'm, you know, missed it or messed it up or whatever.
That's my personal journey with the Lord and working through a lot of that and remembering
that I'm not too old.
So I kind of say my age, I find myself saying my age more and just kind of fight like, yeah,
(20:59):
I'm 34, you know, but you can be in your thirties.
You can be in your forties.
You can be in your fifties and you're not too old.
You're not too far gone and there is possibility absolutely to still be grateful.
And I actually was sitting in a round table as like a Bible study a couple of weeks ago.
I was like sitting in on one of my friends and they were all kind of 27 and I, I kind
(21:19):
of just asked them the question cause one of them asked me just kind of like, how do
you not stay?
How do you not be bitter about being your age?
And one of the things I looked at them and I said, I think the question I want to ask
you guys is, will you be able to find gratitude seven years from now if you're still single?
And then I looked on myself.
I'm like, okay, seven years from 34.
(21:40):
Will I be okay?
41.
41.
Will I still be grateful?
Yeah.
And I think at 27, I thought there's no way at 34 I'd still be grateful.
So I use that perspective of like, well, if I'm grateful at 34, I'll be grateful at 41.
Got to give me that spirit.
So it's just that choice.
So we just want to encourage you guys.
Yeah.
Choosing gratitude.
Choosing gratitude.
(22:01):
Yes.
What about you?
What's another one that you're grateful for?
Next one.
Okay.
So what I'm grateful about this past month is the trials and tribulations.
Like I am thankful for the hard things because, you know, we released a podcast a couple of
weeks ago about the chapter we wanted to skip.
(22:22):
And as awful as that was for both of us, I'm grateful for it because it made me the person
I am and it shaped me and I am passionate about the things I am because of that.
And so I'm so grateful because I would not be where I am today if I didn't go through
that.
I'm grateful for the trials, the hard things.
(22:44):
And I shared, I released a children's book recently, which is so exciting and so fun.
It's amazing.
But then I felt like right after I released it, it was so exciting.
There's all these amazing, fun things that happen being celebrated, but then the enemy
gets in my head and tells me these lies about it's not good enough or you should have done
this or these things.
And it's these trials that just bring me to my knees, but I'm so grateful because they
(23:06):
bring me to my knees.
Yes, amen.
And those trials that bring me to my knees draw me closer to the Lord.
And I am thankful for that 10 times out of 10.
So good.
That's so good.
I know it really is.
I completely relate.
Again, I would not erase any of these hard moments in my life.
I wouldn't be Kinsey.
(23:27):
I wouldn't be this version of me.
And this version of me, like we said a couple of weeks ago, when we were talking about the
chapter we would want to skip is this version is my favorite.
And I'm here because of all these hard things.
And this year has been, I've been thinking about what I would call this year, you know,
some of the things that have happened this year.
And it's been a lot of purging, I guess the Lord's been purging in my life and redeeming
(23:52):
and I've felt so much freedom.
But it's, there's been a few things that has happened this year, one in particular, a couple
in particular that, you know, I will never forget how hard they were.
I still am like, no, but I'm so glad.
And I'm not going to talk about them on this podcast, at least not right now, but I will
say that man, the person that they made me, it's like, that is the purpose.
(24:17):
It was the refinement.
And I can see the fruit of that and just the way that I'm even interacting now.
Like, wow, the Lord has really changed me through this.
So I will say that some of the things I'm most grateful for are some of the hardest things
I've walked through.
And when you do it with somebody, when you go through a trial or hard things with somebody,
(24:38):
y'all grow closer.
My friend Morgan reached out to me recently and we were talking about college and she
had said something about like, it was really hard.
Some of the things that we went through, whether it was between us or friend group or a relationship,
I was in, you know, whatever it was, but it grew us closer because of that.
I'm grateful for what we walked through.
And she literally called me to tell me that she's like, I'm grateful for what we walked
(24:58):
through and how hard it was because I feel like we're closer because of that.
I'm like, yes.
And I remember my best friend, Jacqueline, we were in Hawaii one time just on a girl's
trip and I was in my early twenties and we went to this party.
There's a lot of people there.
When I walked in, I'm just like social butterfly talking to everybody and I knew a couple of
people there already.
(25:19):
And I'm just chit-chatting, talking to everybody and totally left her in the dust.
And I didn't know.
I didn't think I was unaware.
I was just doing me and talking to everybody and having fun and being alive at the party.
And afterwards I remember she was like, Sarah, can I talk to you?
And I said, yeah, like what's up?
I don't know.
And she just kind of said, I feel like when we were there, I didn't get to, you know,
(25:40):
I kind of felt left out and that you chose the guys over me and she called me out on
something that was so real in that season of my life.
I was just seeking attention from guys over being a good friend.
And it wasn't just in that situation.
I'm sure I was doing it in other ones, but she was brave enough to tell me.
And because of those trials, like she is somebody that will do that for me over and over and
over.
(26:00):
And I'm so grateful for those hard things because after that I'm like, I don't go anywhere
without her without, not because she said, but because she made me aware of something
that I needed to work on.
And now it grew our friendship closer and I trust her with my life.
I trust her because she's going to call me out when I'm doing things and help me be
a better person.
So good.
I'm so grateful for those hard times.
Honestly, that is somebody that is a sister that is going to walk through life with you
(26:24):
and call you out and do it with grace and love you regardless.
You know, I'm glad you shared that story because I actually had something very recently with
one of my like, like a sister.
She's just one of my bestest friends and we have, and she has taught me probably, she's
probably the person that's taught me about Jesus the most in her actions.
(26:44):
And we have had, we've walked through some pretty tough stuff.
She is the one that looked across the table from me during that season when I was dating
that person and was like, I'm scared for your safety, like crying, like trying to love me
through it, but also trying to be the friend that's like, this is not okay.
And then I went through another situation this past year.
(27:05):
Um, those really difficult at work and she's never left my side and we both are sharing
how we've hurt each other, um, or how we're hurt, not necessarily in this particular situation
how we've hurt each other, but how she sees that I'm hurting and, uh, and understands
while still holding her position on how she feels about it.
(27:26):
And just to sit across the table and for me to share my grievances and for her to share
hers and us cry together.
And it was so healing for both of us where we just extend this crazy amount of grace
and no matter what decision we make, we trust each other and we love each other no matter
what.
And that moment and a countless others with her have been like, I know she's never going
(27:50):
to turn her back on me and I'm so grateful.
I know that no matter what we walk through together, no matter how ugly I am or how ugly
she is, we are not going anywhere.
And that I can tell you is a friendship that I would take over frivolous surface level
friendships that make, you know, might make you feel good at the current moment.
Like I'm so grateful for a friend that will sit there with me and tell me how she feels
(28:14):
and I feel the safety to do the same closer because of it.
So I totally relate to that too.
That's so good.
All right, let's do one more wrap.
What is one other thing that you are thankful for an area that you're giving yourself grace
and choosing gratitude?
Yeah, this one, I'm, uh, is living with my mom.
I'm living with my mom right now.
(28:35):
And I moved back from Austin and my mom has this gorgeous studio apartment above her garage
and she's graciously let me stay there.
And that is, I moved out when I was 16.
So this is like the first time I'm back at home, 34 moving back home and to the world
and to myself, I was like, okay, it's just going to be temporary.
I'll, I'll stay for a couple months and then a couple months turned into 10 months and
(29:00):
I don't want to leave now.
Like, and it's been so sweet.
And so one, I'm looking at it like I am getting this time with my mom that I haven't had since
I was a child and I'm getting it now as an adult.
And yes, she's my mom, but she's also like my best friend and we are doing life together
and we are learning how to have harder conversations together and live together, which is great
(29:25):
preparation for marriage.
But it's been so fun and redeeming and what the world would tell me is like you're 34
and you live at home.
But I'm just like fighting that with like, yeah, I live at home and I live with my mom
and we have four dogs and we cook dinners together and we watch movies together and we
go for walks together and we sometimes drink our coffee together.
(29:50):
And it's just a time that I know has, it's just changed everything for me.
It's being back in Nashville and realizing like, yep, I got it.
I got to always live close to my mama and there'll be a time one day down the road far
from now that I'll look back on and be like, I know exactly what you're doing here and
I can see it now too.
(30:10):
But I would say like, even though it looks you're 34 and you live at home.
Yeah, I'm 34 and I get to live with my incredible mom and that is one of the greatest, if not
the greatest gifts that I've been given this past year, which is saying a lot because he's
been really good to me this year.
So, well, it's fun because we, when we made our thankful lists, we are just in such similar
(30:31):
seasons, which is really fun.
And I know we talked about that a lot on our very first episode of just our lives have
aligned in so many ways.
But I relate to you on that because you know my story, but I moved home from Charleston
in May.
I always get confused, March or May.
And I think I said on one podcast March, but it's May.
So just to clarify, it's May.
(30:53):
It was maybe May, but I'm got everything.
So when I moved home in May, the house that I was going to move in fell through.
And I would not at that time tell you, I'm so grateful.
I guess I get to live with my parents.
I'm 32 and single.
Yay.
I'm moving back home with my parents because they still live in my childhood home.
So that means I'm going to move back to my childhood home where I was, you know, 10 years
old when I lived there, seven years old, like grew up there.
(31:15):
And now I'm moving back there.
And it has also been the best.
I mean, literally the only part was swallowing my pride and being like, yeah, this house
fell through that I was going to move into back here in Tennessee.
And I guess I have to move back with my parents.
And so when people say, did you move back?
(31:36):
I'm like, yes, back home, but no, you know, and it's just like, oh, yes.
And I remember one of my brothers, he called me out.
He was like, Sarah, who cares?
Nobody cares.
You're making it a bigger deal than anybody else.
And I was like, yeah, but I shouldn't be living at home.
He's like, it's not like you're just like playing video games in the basement.
Exactly.
I think that's the thing that we think about.
And to be like, it's okay.
(31:58):
Like my dad and mom are my favorite people in the world.
My dad is incredible.
He's so wise.
The amount of times we sat on my back porch and just chit-chatted.
We went through a couple months where we would work out every day together in the morning
and go on walks.
And he just has such great wisdom to offer.
And then my mom, she is my favorite person in the world and just my best friend.
(32:18):
And she is so incredible.
I love spending time with her and to see her every single day.
Every morning she is downstairs on the couch reading her Bible, having her coffee.
And I hate when I have to leave early because all I want to do is just sit with her and
we get to do that when I have slow mornings.
But I am so grateful because I am going to move out soon and I have just had to wait
(32:43):
on the right timing with roommates and things happening in my situation.
But finding a house and it's going to happen and I'm going to be somewhere else and I'm
so grateful that I had this time to just be with them.
Giving myself grace and choosing gratitude even if it doesn't come natural.
That is another one of the situations.
Honestly though, that one is not as much hard to be grateful for because I truly am so grateful.
(33:06):
It really is.
And it's a season of life to just be with them.
I know.
It's also time you're just never going to get again and you're going to look back on.
I just know 15 years from now when I watch my mom play with my grandkids and it's for
like a couple of hours on a Sunday or whatever that might look like.
I'll be like, I remember the season where we were in our matching pajamas, making dinner,
(33:28):
watching shows that we love.
And Lord's just given that to me.
I know that if I lived, which eventually I'm going to move out, but if I did, I'd be over
at her house multiple nights a week anyway.
I'm like, it's just makes sense right now, logistically too, which is also wonderful.
Just grateful that we both had a soft place to land when we came back from the thing that
(33:51):
we thought was going to be our forever.
And it wasn't.
And there are parents where and also displaying just this beautiful example to us of no matter
how far we go, we can always come home and how grateful I am that I have a family that
a mom that does that and is there for me and same for you.
And that's kind of parent you're going to be too.
(34:11):
So grateful in the season.
And remember, give yourself grace and choose gratitude, even if it doesn't come naturally
because he is still good.
Welcome back to the Even If podcast.
(00:05):
I'm Kenzie and I'm Sarah.
And today's episode is give yourself grace
and choose gratitude,
even if it doesn't come naturally
because he is still good.
Yes, he is.
Okay.
It's Thanksgiving week.
What are your plants?
Do you want to come over to my house?
I'm inviting everyone.
Wait, what?
Yeah, I'm actually curious.
(00:26):
Well, my mom and I always like just
invite everybody that doesn't have a place to go.
And I know you have a place to go,
but I've got a bunch of my friends.
Are you serious?
My three friends that are not going to go home.
And a couple of those that are like going to go
be with their family in the morning
and they're going to come over.
We are a sweatpants family.
We wear sweatpants.
It's not fancy.
(00:47):
I love that.
It's a bunch of dogs.
We're going to hot tub, watch movies and eat.
Wait, maybe sauna?
We're going to do it all.
Thanksgiving day, like on Thursday.
Yeah.
I'll come over.
Talk to parents.
Let them know.
Wow.
See if they're cool with it.
That's so sweet.
Okay.
So is that typically what y'all do on Thanksgiving?
Yeah.
(01:08):
So is your brother coming in town?
No, sadly.
So my parents are divorced, as you know.
Those of you that don't.
So we kind of, we try to balance the holidays.
To be honest, I just don't like not being with my mom.
So my brother, I think it's going to be with my dad.
This Thanksgiving, I'm always with mom.
And also I always work on Thanksgiving.
I teach like a power hour class in the morning.
Oh, fun.
(01:29):
That's fun.
I want to come to that.
You should come.
Okay.
It's 9.15.
I'm teaching at 9.15.
Listeners, come on.
It's probably going to be.
An hour class.
It's so fun.
It's so fun.
It's so fun.
So you need to come.
So I teach on Thursday and it's kind of been such a get.
Well, it's not kind of been.
It's been a wonderful gift and I'm so grateful because my mom's here.
(01:50):
And a lot of people as natural as such a transplant city, like my,
my whole team is gone.
So I'm the one there to teach and I'm happy to do it.
So for the last like, I don't know, I want to say six years last year.
I wasn't there, but I teach on Thanksgiving.
That's so teach.
And then I run home and help mom in the kitchen.
And my mom is like the best at things.
I mean, she's the best all the time,
(02:11):
but she does the holiday so well.
So then we'll just,
she does parties.
She just party.
She's the host with the mostest.
So yeah.
And it's super just relaxed and cozy and fun.
And my mom is the best cook ever and we'll just cook a bunch and eat
when the food's ready.
Barbie Joe, I'm close to her.
She'll be like, come on Sarah, please.
So, it'd be so fun.
(02:32):
So yeah.
What do you do?
Tell me about your holidays.
What are you doing this year?
So we typically will do just such a classic Thanksgiving of all the family together.
But I will say for me, it looks different because I have three brothers and
they're all married.
And so something my parents have done really well, which I'm so grateful for is
that they have just kind of been like, we would love to be together if possible,
(02:54):
but however that looks.
And so we're always okay just not doing the holiday on the holiday.
That's awesome.
Which has been great.
And I think it took me a while to get used to because I'm the only one that's
single and that doesn't get to do anything on the holiday.
So I mean, I remember my first, maybe that's my first Thanksgiving where my
last brother got married and so it was just mom, dad and me.
(03:17):
And so all of my brothers go to have Thanksgiving with their wives family.
And so it was just mom, dad and me.
Wow.
And they actually took me on a trip.
We went to Savannah, Georgia.
And it was so special and so fun.
And I think I was agreeing it too, but it ended up being no, totally.
Good.
And so now that's just kind of what we do.
So on Thanksgiving, like Thursday, I actually have no plans.
(03:38):
So I like my.
Come on.
Come on.
And then we'll do our Thanksgiving on Friday.
Oh, I love that.
Yeah.
Okay.
But our table is always open too.
It's kind of like, yeah, my cousin, I have a couple of cousins that, uh, my family
spread out all over.
So I have a couple of cousins that live in Indiana, Chicago.
And so sometimes they'll just come in.
I invited a few friends from Charleston.
(04:00):
It's just like our table's open and somebody would need something.
Somebody needs something just come over.
Yeah.
I love that.
I feel like I have this policy that I want to adapt when I'm married one day,
but I want, it's like an open door stocked fridge policy.
Love it.
Yes.
Yeah.
The more the merrier, last minute, someone needs to come over.
Great.
Come on.
We'll pull up a seat.
(04:21):
We can make multiple tables.
We'll have tons of food.
And so my mom's like that.
And I want to do that same thing.
So it sounds like the same with your family.
Yeah.
Well, if you want to come on over, even if you want to come for like a hot tub and a
movie, honestly, I don't want to come to full ride in the morning.
Yeah.
Okay.
Y'all have not been to full ride listeners.
Come, come, come, come, come with us.
It's the best.
It's so much fun.
(04:42):
It's so much fun.
Okay.
Well, we are, we're just going to share some areas of our lives that we are giving ourselves
a lot of grace in and seeing and choosing the gratitude.
And so we're just going all gratitude today.
We're just going to jump right in gratitude, not gratitude only, but just like instead
of going, okay, yeah, this is hard, but we're really grateful.
(05:04):
We're just going to talk about ways in which we're so grateful in areas of our life that
you might be surprised that we are actually really grateful in because I think it is a
pair, a paradox too at times of there are things that are hard and we're still thankful
for it and it can be both of those things.
And that's what this podcast is a lot about of that, even if this happens, he is still
good or even if, and it's true.
(05:25):
And but today it's just, we are going to just dive into the ways that we are grateful.
Are grateful.
Yes, ma'am.
So we want to start with what does Jesus say about gratitude?
And we love this verse, 1 Thessalonians 5, 16 through 18 says, rejoice always, pray continually
and give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you and Christ Jesus.
(05:48):
I love that.
And that's like, you know, what does God say about gratitude?
What does he say about it?
That's a great question to ask this holiday season.
He literally says to give thanks in all circumstances.
Like what?
It's so hard to do.
That's crazy.
Rejoice always.
That's hard.
Yeah.
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances.
(06:10):
That is such a good like memory verse even because it's so simple and it's things I think
we can always work on.
Rejoicing always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will
for you and Christ Jesus.
And I also feel like in that verse, it's like the ways in which I've found to go deeper
in my gratitude are the same ways in which I've gone deeper in my faith.
(06:33):
They have been through hardship and surrendering things.
And so I think like, you know, as we talk through like, you know, this verse rejoice
always pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances.
You're like, how do I do that?
Well, at least for me, I've learned by experience and it's actually is possible to give thanks
in all circumstances.
I think the older you get the and the wiser you become, you kind of start to see that in
(06:57):
my life, at least for me, I've seen it in my own life and I know you, you have to, I
was just talking to somebody the other day.
I was probably my dad.
My dad always has.
He's so wise.
But he was saying that he read something or whoever was was saying that they read something
about how anxiety and gratitude can't coexist.
Yeah.
Have you heard that too?
(07:18):
I've heard this and in seasons of really struggling with anxiety.
That is something that's hard to hear because it's like, oh, just be grateful and it's gone.
It's like true gratitude, truly feeling grateful for things like that anxiety cannot exist.
That is how our brains were created.
That's wild.
It's crazy.
It's actually to sit in my class all the time, but same way that anxiety cannot live in your
(07:43):
brain because you can't ruminate if your body is in motion.
So kind of a similar thing in the sense of like, if you're thinking about gratitude and
you're actually, I don't know, the word meditate, I don't necessarily use that word, but just
I think about like praying or thinking and like focusing on something like I genuinely
will sometimes go, I'm so thankful for this car that drove me to work today.
(08:04):
I'm so grateful for my legs like that they are able to get me through my classes so I
can make money and like do my job.
And I know it sounds so cheesy, but I think when you do lose a lot of things, you find
maybe a sense of ease and really like value things that you probably wouldn't value as
(08:24):
much had you not gone through that hard thing.
And so I just think like in the same way that anxiety can't live in your brain when you're
working out and moving your body because there's no time for your brain to process both.
I think that's probably what you're saying too.
Like those two things can't coexist in your brain.
Just so good.
Okay.
We kick us off.
What's something that you're grateful for?
(08:45):
Okay.
This is so fun because we both brought in a list of things and there are so many that
I think we could both share.
But one that's top of mind right now is just being a business owner.
My own business owner is I am so grateful for that.
I am grateful for the flexibility that it's giving me because we're not allowed to talk
(09:06):
about hard things, right?
I know.
I was gonna say like, but it's hard not to talk because like here's the thing I think
for us, our perspective is the hard things are the good things, you know?
Like I think there's a part of it that's like, yeah, I don't think grad.
Okay.
Go with me for a second.
I'm gonna process this out loud.
This sounds crazy.
Like can you just edit this out?
No, we're keeping it.
Go.
(09:26):
But I feel like I feel like gratitude can't exist without hard things.
I don't think that gratitude really can be as substantial and meaningful if we haven't
walked through and or if there isn't a hard thing to compare it to because otherwise if
we just have all these good things all the time, I must think about like someone really
famous and wealthy when their standard is just getting on a private jet, renting out
(09:48):
this island.
That's it's not their fault that well, I'm not gonna say that because I'm not them.
I don't know if it's their fault or not, but I just think that that's their normalcy and
everything around them is at such ease because money is not a factor for them.
Right.
So it's like they don't understand necessarily the things that we would understand as much
and so I don't even know if I'm making sense right now, but I feel like you are.
(10:10):
Okay.
Hold my mic.
Okay.
For me.
Okay.
I'm gonna hold your mic.
Hold it right here.
This is when we need my sense.
Okay.
I'm gonna hold your mic.
I wish you guys could see us while you walk because we're gonna one day start pushing
more videos.
Okay.
That's true.
Okay.
So like if you only know this much, if you've been given this much, then you're so thankful
this much.
Yeah.
But then you've been given this much and then we're thankful this much.
(10:32):
And if you've been given this much, my hands are spread wide open, right?
Like if I've been given this much, then my knowledge of gratitude is that much.
It was a sermon and it was comparing the same thing of like if my hurt that I've been
through or pain that I've been through is this much, the sin that I've done is this
much, then I know God's grace and forgiveness this much.
But when I have done this much sin and I know this much sin, I've experienced this much
(10:56):
of God's grace and forgiveness and it just extends and extends.
So I do think that there's things.
I do think that there's things.
I'm not gonna lie.
That was a little too messy on my muscles.
I just needed my hands to show you.
The administrator is really struggling.
I needed my hands to show you.
I know girl.
I know.
God's grace is.
I know.
I know.
Yes.
But yes.
I think that's true.
Because I don't know if it's that hard and gratitude have to go together because I think
(11:18):
we can be grateful for things regardless if it was hard.
But I think we know deeper gratitude.
Yes.
Deeper.
That's it.
Yeah.
There we go.
Two minds had to bring that one together.
But yeah.
That's exactly it.
Okay.
So anyways, back to your original thing.
We can talk about hard things.
Being a business owner in our gratitude episode.
So I think I was thinking about that because I'm so grateful for being a business owner
(11:38):
and this episode is about gratitude because it's important to remind myself about how
grateful I am that I have a business where I get to choose the hours that work for me
and I get to do the career that I want to do.
And I'm so grateful for those things because I think there are days where it's like it
is so hard to be a business owner.
(11:58):
It is so hard.
I feel like I cannot constantly like I can't get enough done.
I was talking to my friend summer about this the other day of just when you're a business
owner, you don't know when to shut off because you don't clock out.
Yeah.
And that's so hard.
I'm constantly marketing.
I'm a client and it's all things I love, but then there's the hard side.
And so truly though, to slow down and in the season right now to be like, I am so grateful
(12:20):
for it though.
I'm grateful for being able to have this business and have this office and have my clients and
my clients are everything to me.
Like I feel like I look at all of them, like my little sisters that I just love so much
and I'm so grateful for that.
I love that.
I honestly, I mean, I completely agree.
It's like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(12:40):
I do.
I mean, it's, there's a lot of hard, but the good just completely trumps and outweighs
it.
And I think I can relate totally in the same way of just the flexibility that I have with
my schedule and even on the hardest days, especially when I'm looking at the PNL and
I'm obsessing over the numbers and I'm just like stress financially, which is part of
being a business owner.
You get paid off the bottom line.
(13:01):
There's a lot of times I don't get paid.
And that is the risk that you run, but the lives that are changed through what I feel
like we get to do as business owners.
And I feel like that's another thing that I'm so grateful for.
And I know you are too is that we don't just run businesses, but we're running businesses
that are empowering the lives of other people.
And that's just been a really cool blessing that I've been able to, and I'm so grateful
(13:26):
to have been given.
So I agree.
What would you say you're most thankful for with being a business owner owning full ride?
Cause it's a lot of work.
It is a lot of work.
It is.
Yeah.
What in the season are you most thankful for about it?
In this season, particularly, I'm just so thankful for my day to day.
I love my day to day.
It is the flexibility, the flexibility.
(13:48):
I love the work I get to do.
Like some days I'm teaching all the classes and I'm going from thing to thing to thing.
And I love that.
And then the next day, my day will look like I get to sleep in a little bit and have a
slow morning.
And then I'm doing a shoot and coming here to record with you.
And then I'm teaching a class and then I'm running to a meeting with people.
(14:08):
I love that I get to work with.
So I think one of my favorite things in this season of gratitude and just really reflecting
on that is who I get to work with.
I have the best people in my life.
And at full ride, I'm just so grateful.
And I get to work with my friends and women that I really love.
And I get to just like steward and be a part of their lives in a really unique way.
I would say that's probably my favorite.
(14:30):
And then another one is honestly, full ride feels like it is this vessel, but I've been
able to mentor without even knowing how I'm doing it.
I think the Lord just given me this title and role of leadership and I've watched women
come in that aren't really sure what they're passionate about.
They kind of want to work their front desk because they want to make friends or they
(14:50):
want to make extra money.
And then all of a sudden now they threw forward through people they've met through, you know,
my leadership and other teams leadership, other team members leadership.
They're all of a sudden like they figure out what they love.
They're super passionate about it.
And then they go off to the next thing and they get to go do that.
And I'm like, if that's also all full ride is, that's awesome.
(15:10):
And so you're empowering women.
Yeah, I just love that.
I love that part of being a business owner.
I don't think I would like being a business owner if I didn't get to be a business owner
in the field that I'm in.
You know, I think I just get to see and be a part of something so much bigger than myself.
Yeah.
What about you?
What is your what's on your list of something?
(15:31):
You know, singleness.
And I am really grateful.
I am.
It does not mean that I don't want to date.
Yeah.
I mean, my guy, I definitely do.
We're just choosing again, back to the title, right?
We are giving ourselves grace and choosing.
Choosing gratitude.
Yeah, I just am really grateful.
I love being single.
(15:52):
Maybe a little too much.
I probably should.
No, actually, no, I just love being single.
And I'm really excited to meet my person.
But I have loved the freedom that I get in singleness and not in a selfish way, just
in a way of what the Lord is allowing me to do in this season.
I feel like I am absolutely maximizing my singleness.
(16:12):
Like that's one thing I feel like.
Tell the Kelsey Ballerini story.
Okay, I'll tell the Kelsey Ballerini story.
Okay, so Kelsey Ballerini is my, if you know me, you're like probably rolling your eyes
being like this girl's obsessed.
And I am.
I am obsessed with Kelsey Ballerini.
Oh, dear.
I really am.
I love her.
I love her writing.
I'm just, I've heard, I've heard she's a wonderful person.
I've seen her from a distance.
(16:34):
But honestly, I just really respect her as an artist and the way that she writes.
And I kind of feel like she's written about my life.
And I'm sure everyone feels that way that loves her.
So anyways, my best friend and I love her.
And we just feel like the last few albums that she's put out, we have very much been
able to relate to some of that.
And we told her each other, hey, we've never seen her live.
(16:56):
And we're like, okay, we need to go see her live.
And we're like, we live in Nashville.
This is crazy.
Well, at least I have a live in Nashville.
She's an awesome, but I said, yeah, we'll get to see her at some point.
And she launched that she was playing in Madison Square Garden in New York.
And Ken and I love going to New York.
We go there once a year together as besties.
And so I was like, we have to go to the show.
And meanwhile, this is not a good time for us both financially to make making such a decision.
(17:19):
But you're saying hello.
And so we decided we're like, yeah, we got to go.
And then I was, I happened to be like, I don't know.
I think I was strilling on Instagram and chase rewards.
Like the credit card was offering early access book.
And you had a chase card.
So these, these seats became available.
You were saying you opened up a credit card to do this.
(17:41):
Hey, that's, I don't put that pass me.
No, you know, I will do that.
But no, no, no, we, you're finding deals.
So I was finding deals.
I was like, early.
Well, I don't know if you would say this is a deal, but I got early access to these tickets.
Ken and I flew to New York for less than 48 hours.
And we went to Madison Square Garden and we dressed up in sparkles and so far to see our
favorite artists.
And it was so fun.
(18:02):
And I think a big part of why I'm so thankful for singleness in this season.
And again, ready to meet my guy a hundred percent, but I just got to say, I got to just
be like, I'm going, I didn't have to check with my hubby and make sure that he was good
with it and that the kids were taking care of.
And also like even being a parent, there's a whole other weight of like, I don't want
(18:24):
to miss maybe this person's recital or I don't want to miss morning time because I, there's
all these other factors I would have to think about as a mom that I want to think about.
Yeah.
But right now I don't have to.
There's freedom there.
So it gives me just the ability.
And I feel like that's one thing I'm really excited about to, if I, the Lord gives me
daughters is to just be able to tell them about mom's single season and how I maximize
(18:47):
it.
And I have no regrets in the things that I've done that I feel like are for the Lord, for
the kingdom, having fun, living my life, laughing to light, pee my pants, like, you know, just
all these fun, crazy things that I feel like I am so thankful for.
And I didn't have a ton of freedom in my own spirit in my twenties.
(19:11):
And a big part of me feels like the Lord has just given me this gift in my thirties to
be like, I want you to experience certain things and I want you to get obviously to
a certain point to where you're ready.
But I just can't help but think he's already redeeming time for me by giving me it differently.
You know, he's giving me time with girlfriends and with my mom and time with myself and with
(19:34):
the Lord.
Yeah.
And I just can't help but just sit in that gratitude.
Yeah.
There's a lot to be grateful for in singleness.
And it's funny because if you listen to our first episodes, we talk about how it's hard
to be 30 and single.
Yeah.
And that's so true.
There's so much to be grateful for.
I have the freedom to do what I want and go where I want.
And there are times where I do that and I book a trip or I do something and then I'm
(19:56):
like on a plane being like, nobody knows where I am or what I'm doing.
Or I'll like buy something and I'm like, nobody knows how much money I have.
You know, I've talked about this recently talked about this actually.
Yeah.
It is crazy.
Just the things I'm able to do being single and the friendships I can invest in, the
(20:16):
time I get with girlfriends and there is things to still be grateful for.
Yeah.
Totally.
Totally.
I feel like also too on the singleness topic because you and I are both in our thirties.
I think it's personally, I just think it is easier when you're in your twenties to be
like, yeah, I'm grateful I'm single.
I think it gets harder as you get older to find that gratitude and being single.
(20:38):
And anybody that is in their thirties, I'm 34 and I am fighting that lie by that I'm
too old or I'm, you know, missed it or messed it up or whatever.
That's my personal journey with the Lord and working through a lot of that and remembering
that I'm not too old.
So I kind of say my age, I find myself saying my age more and just kind of fight like, yeah,
(20:59):
I'm 34, you know, but you can be in your thirties.
You can be in your forties.
You can be in your fifties and you're not too old.
You're not too far gone and there is possibility absolutely to still be grateful.
And I actually was sitting in a round table as like a Bible study a couple of weeks ago.
I was like sitting in on one of my friends and they were all kind of 27 and I, I kind
(21:19):
of just asked them the question cause one of them asked me just kind of like, how do
you not stay?
How do you not be bitter about being your age?
And one of the things I looked at them and I said, I think the question I want to ask
you guys is, will you be able to find gratitude seven years from now if you're still single?
And then I looked on myself.
I'm like, okay, seven years from 34.
(21:40):
Will I be okay?
41.
41.
Will I still be grateful?
Yeah.
And I think at 27, I thought there's no way at 34 I'd still be grateful.
So I use that perspective of like, well, if I'm grateful at 34, I'll be grateful at 41.
Got to give me that spirit.
So it's just that choice.
So we just want to encourage you guys.
Yeah.
Choosing gratitude.
Choosing gratitude.
(22:01):
Yes.
What about you?
What's another one that you're grateful for?
Next one.
Okay.
So what I'm grateful about this past month is the trials and tribulations.
Like I am thankful for the hard things because, you know, we released a podcast a couple of
weeks ago about the chapter we wanted to skip.
(22:22):
And as awful as that was for both of us, I'm grateful for it because it made me the person
I am and it shaped me and I am passionate about the things I am because of that.
And so I'm so grateful because I would not be where I am today if I didn't go through
that.
I'm grateful for the trials, the hard things.
(22:44):
And I shared, I released a children's book recently, which is so exciting and so fun.
It's amazing.
But then I felt like right after I released it, it was so exciting.
There's all these amazing, fun things that happen being celebrated, but then the enemy
gets in my head and tells me these lies about it's not good enough or you should have done
this or these things.
And it's these trials that just bring me to my knees, but I'm so grateful because they
(23:06):
bring me to my knees.
Yes, amen.
And those trials that bring me to my knees draw me closer to the Lord.
And I am thankful for that 10 times out of 10.
So good.
That's so good.
I know it really is.
I completely relate.
Again, I would not erase any of these hard moments in my life.
I wouldn't be Kinsey.
(23:27):
I wouldn't be this version of me.
And this version of me, like we said a couple of weeks ago, when we were talking about the
chapter we would want to skip is this version is my favorite.
And I'm here because of all these hard things.
And this year has been, I've been thinking about what I would call this year, you know,
some of the things that have happened this year.
And it's been a lot of purging, I guess the Lord's been purging in my life and redeeming
(23:52):
and I've felt so much freedom.
But it's, there's been a few things that has happened this year, one in particular, a couple
in particular that, you know, I will never forget how hard they were.
I still am like, no, but I'm so glad.
And I'm not going to talk about them on this podcast, at least not right now, but I will
say that man, the person that they made me, it's like, that is the purpose.
(24:17):
It was the refinement.
And I can see the fruit of that and just the way that I'm even interacting now.
Like, wow, the Lord has really changed me through this.
So I will say that some of the things I'm most grateful for are some of the hardest things
I've walked through.
And when you do it with somebody, when you go through a trial or hard things with somebody,
(24:38):
y'all grow closer.
My friend Morgan reached out to me recently and we were talking about college and she
had said something about like, it was really hard.
Some of the things that we went through, whether it was between us or friend group or a relationship,
I was in, you know, whatever it was, but it grew us closer because of that.
I'm grateful for what we walked through.
And she literally called me to tell me that she's like, I'm grateful for what we walked
(24:58):
through and how hard it was because I feel like we're closer because of that.
I'm like, yes.
And I remember my best friend, Jacqueline, we were in Hawaii one time just on a girl's
trip and I was in my early twenties and we went to this party.
There's a lot of people there.
When I walked in, I'm just like social butterfly talking to everybody and I knew a couple of
people there already.
(25:19):
And I'm just chit-chatting, talking to everybody and totally left her in the dust.
And I didn't know.
I didn't think I was unaware.
I was just doing me and talking to everybody and having fun and being alive at the party.
And afterwards I remember she was like, Sarah, can I talk to you?
And I said, yeah, like what's up?
I don't know.
And she just kind of said, I feel like when we were there, I didn't get to, you know,
(25:40):
I kind of felt left out and that you chose the guys over me and she called me out on
something that was so real in that season of my life.
I was just seeking attention from guys over being a good friend.
And it wasn't just in that situation.
I'm sure I was doing it in other ones, but she was brave enough to tell me.
And because of those trials, like she is somebody that will do that for me over and over and
over.
(26:00):
And I'm so grateful for those hard things because after that I'm like, I don't go anywhere
without her without, not because she said, but because she made me aware of something
that I needed to work on.
And now it grew our friendship closer and I trust her with my life.
I trust her because she's going to call me out when I'm doing things and help me be
a better person.
So good.
I'm so grateful for those hard times.
Honestly, that is somebody that is a sister that is going to walk through life with you
(26:24):
and call you out and do it with grace and love you regardless.
You know, I'm glad you shared that story because I actually had something very recently with
one of my like, like a sister.
She's just one of my bestest friends and we have, and she has taught me probably, she's
probably the person that's taught me about Jesus the most in her actions.
(26:44):
And we have had, we've walked through some pretty tough stuff.
She is the one that looked across the table from me during that season when I was dating
that person and was like, I'm scared for your safety, like crying, like trying to love me
through it, but also trying to be the friend that's like, this is not okay.
And then I went through another situation this past year.
(27:05):
Um, those really difficult at work and she's never left my side and we both are sharing
how we've hurt each other, um, or how we're hurt, not necessarily in this particular situation
how we've hurt each other, but how she sees that I'm hurting and, uh, and understands
while still holding her position on how she feels about it.
(27:26):
And just to sit across the table and for me to share my grievances and for her to share
hers and us cry together.
And it was so healing for both of us where we just extend this crazy amount of grace
and no matter what decision we make, we trust each other and we love each other no matter
what.
And that moment and a countless others with her have been like, I know she's never going
(27:50):
to turn her back on me and I'm so grateful.
I know that no matter what we walk through together, no matter how ugly I am or how ugly
she is, we are not going anywhere.
And that I can tell you is a friendship that I would take over frivolous surface level
friendships that make, you know, might make you feel good at the current moment.
Like I'm so grateful for a friend that will sit there with me and tell me how she feels
(28:14):
and I feel the safety to do the same closer because of it.
So I totally relate to that too.
That's so good.
All right, let's do one more wrap.
What is one other thing that you are thankful for an area that you're giving yourself grace
and choosing gratitude?
Yeah, this one, I'm, uh, is living with my mom.
I'm living with my mom right now.
(28:35):
And I moved back from Austin and my mom has this gorgeous studio apartment above her garage
and she's graciously let me stay there.
And that is, I moved out when I was 16.
So this is like the first time I'm back at home, 34 moving back home and to the world
and to myself, I was like, okay, it's just going to be temporary.
I'll, I'll stay for a couple months and then a couple months turned into 10 months and
(29:00):
I don't want to leave now.
Like, and it's been so sweet.
And so one, I'm looking at it like I am getting this time with my mom that I haven't had since
I was a child and I'm getting it now as an adult.
And yes, she's my mom, but she's also like my best friend and we are doing life together
and we are learning how to have harder conversations together and live together, which is great
(29:25):
preparation for marriage.
But it's been so fun and redeeming and what the world would tell me is like you're 34
and you live at home.
But I'm just like fighting that with like, yeah, I live at home and I live with my mom
and we have four dogs and we cook dinners together and we watch movies together and we
go for walks together and we sometimes drink our coffee together.
(29:50):
And it's just a time that I know has, it's just changed everything for me.
It's being back in Nashville and realizing like, yep, I got it.
I got to always live close to my mama and there'll be a time one day down the road far
from now that I'll look back on and be like, I know exactly what you're doing here and
I can see it now too.
(30:10):
But I would say like, even though it looks you're 34 and you live at home.
Yeah, I'm 34 and I get to live with my incredible mom and that is one of the greatest, if not
the greatest gifts that I've been given this past year, which is saying a lot because he's
been really good to me this year.
So, well, it's fun because we, when we made our thankful lists, we are just in such similar
(30:31):
seasons, which is really fun.
And I know we talked about that a lot on our very first episode of just our lives have
aligned in so many ways.
But I relate to you on that because you know my story, but I moved home from Charleston
in May.
I always get confused, March or May.
And I think I said on one podcast March, but it's May.
So just to clarify, it's May.
(30:53):
It was maybe May, but I'm got everything.
So when I moved home in May, the house that I was going to move in fell through.
And I would not at that time tell you, I'm so grateful.
I guess I get to live with my parents.
I'm 32 and single.
Yay.
I'm moving back home with my parents because they still live in my childhood home.
So that means I'm going to move back to my childhood home where I was, you know, 10 years
old when I lived there, seven years old, like grew up there.
(31:15):
And now I'm moving back there.
And it has also been the best.
I mean, literally the only part was swallowing my pride and being like, yeah, this house
fell through that I was going to move into back here in Tennessee.
And I guess I have to move back with my parents.
And so when people say, did you move back?
(31:36):
I'm like, yes, back home, but no, you know, and it's just like, oh, yes.
And I remember one of my brothers, he called me out.
He was like, Sarah, who cares?
Nobody cares.
You're making it a bigger deal than anybody else.
And I was like, yeah, but I shouldn't be living at home.
He's like, it's not like you're just like playing video games in the basement.
Exactly.
I think that's the thing that we think about.
And to be like, it's okay.
(31:58):
Like my dad and mom are my favorite people in the world.
My dad is incredible.
He's so wise.
The amount of times we sat on my back porch and just chit-chatted.
We went through a couple months where we would work out every day together in the morning
and go on walks.
And he just has such great wisdom to offer.
And then my mom, she is my favorite person in the world and just my best friend.
(32:18):
And she is so incredible.
I love spending time with her and to see her every single day.
Every morning she is downstairs on the couch reading her Bible, having her coffee.
And I hate when I have to leave early because all I want to do is just sit with her and
we get to do that when I have slow mornings.
But I am so grateful because I am going to move out soon and I have just had to wait
(32:43):
on the right timing with roommates and things happening in my situation.
But finding a house and it's going to happen and I'm going to be somewhere else and I'm
so grateful that I had this time to just be with them.
Giving myself grace and choosing gratitude even if it doesn't come natural.
That is another one of the situations.
Honestly though, that one is not as much hard to be grateful for because I truly am so grateful.
(33:06):
It really is.
And it's a season of life to just be with them.
I know.
It's also time you're just never going to get again and you're going to look back on.
I just know 15 years from now when I watch my mom play with my grandkids and it's for
like a couple of hours on a Sunday or whatever that might look like.
I'll be like, I remember the season where we were in our matching pajamas, making dinner,
(33:28):
watching shows that we love.
And Lord's just given that to me.
I know that if I lived, which eventually I'm going to move out, but if I did, I'd be over
at her house multiple nights a week anyway.
I'm like, it's just makes sense right now, logistically too, which is also wonderful.
Just grateful that we both had a soft place to land when we came back from the thing that
(33:51):
we thought was going to be our forever.
And it wasn't.
And there are parents where and also displaying just this beautiful example to us of no matter
how far we go, we can always come home and how grateful I am that I have a family that
a mom that does that and is there for me and same for you.
And that's kind of parent you're going to be too.
(34:11):
So grateful in the season.
And remember, give yourself grace and choose gratitude, even if it doesn't come naturally
because he is still good.
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