January 28, 2025 • 46 mins
On this week’s episode of The Even If Podcast, we have part 2 with David Taylor. He gives us a peak behind the curtain and a backstage pass into a man’s mind. We ask him questions about what qualities are important to Godly men when they’re looking for a wife, thoughts on “dropping the hankie”, being on dating apps, and more. Enjoy this week’s episode and remember, even if, He is still good.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome back to the Even If podcast. I'm Kenzie and I'm Sarah and we have part two with David Taylor, my new friend who I just met last week.
(00:13):
That's right. Excited to be back.
Welcome back. So last week, if y'all didn't listen, we had an awesome conversation with David just learning about him. It was my first time meeting him. David is dating McKenna, which is one of Kinsey's best friends.
And David told us a little bit about himself and then their relationship. So today we are going to get a little bit deeper on his past, his dating relationships and then just kind of picking into the man's mind even more.
(00:41):
Great. Let's do it.
Man's mind.
All right. So first question, I guess you told last week again about how you and kind of dated friends, that whole story, which is incredible if y'all haven't listened, go back and listen last week.
So what was it like before you met her? What were your, had you dated a lot? Had you been pursuing girls? What was that like for you?
(01:02):
Yeah, I can just give you the full history of my dating because it hasn't been too much when I was in college, went almost all four years not dating anyone before that, even like high school, didn't really date post college or I guess right around end of college had started dating this girl.
And it was like two months before we graduated. She was a believer. I had always, I guess for context, had thought that dating a believer was paramount. It was like super important to me.
(01:31):
Just because I grew up in a Christian household and faith became really important to be in high school and then carry that to college. So that was kind of like a staple.
She did young life. I thought, you know, again, being like one of my first relationships, I was like, Hey, that's great.
She does young life kind of more of a check the box. And not to say she like wasn't a real believer or anything like that.
I think that I certainly was more, I think I was a little more intentional with my pursuit of my faith than she was, but that was okay at that time. Cause again, I was still kind of learning like what this whole dating thing dating a believer was like.
(02:03):
Sure. She was a year below me. I graduated and it went long distance and after that didn't last very long. So I think it was like five months and I was super, super crushed by the fact that it ended because being that it had been one of my first real relationships.
I had always thought like, Hey, I'm not going to be the one to like be the cause of something ending. Like I'm in it to win it. Let's reckon do this. And she just wasn't in the same boat and that was okay.
(02:30):
And I learned and recovered from all that and Lord healed it and it was great, but still really hard during the time after that. I don't even want to say a handful of dates.
I really didn't like, I didn't date for probably a year or two after that, not even like trying to not and not trying to like, it just like happened to work out that way. I moved to San Diego and there when I moved there started dating a little bit more frequently.
(02:56):
I met girls, met a few girls through church and nothing really lasted that long. I think part of that was because of like logistical reasons. Like one girl like moved away and like, so it's okay. That's not going to really work out.
Didn't want to repeat a last time. I guess the other side of it was like at that point when I had moved to San Diego and got involved in church.
(03:17):
I leveled up my meaning or the intentionality behind like the type of girl I wanted to date. Not only did they have to like just be Christian, but it was more of like, okay, what are they actively involved in now?
Like they weren't just part of like something in the past. Like they are really pursuing whether they're in a group or leading girls or whatever it is.
I would get made fun of a lot from some of my guy friends in a joking way, but like somewhat serious of like your bar is so high.
(03:44):
And for me, that was like a compliment, but also like began to wear on me because I was like, dang.
Eventually, like after years and years past, it was like, maybe these guys are right. So that was like a mind like our thought that went through my mind.
Yeah. Yeah.
But then at the same time, I always had a pretty strong conviction from the Lord of like, no, like don't settle, especially don't settle on someone who's like not very strong in their faith.
(04:07):
And I had always felt led from like college onwards to get involved in leadership, whether that was leading just men's groups, whether it was just like mentoring guys or like discipling guys on the side.
And I always saw that my partner would be doing something similar.
(04:30):
And so when the girl that I was dating wasn't fitting that it was like this little needle like prodding me during the dating process of like, is she really the one?
And so I didn't know in those moments, truthfully, I was like, is that me just being super critical and like not wanting to commit or not wanting this or that?
Or is it the Lord kind of like gently nudging me to like remind me like this? Like, I don't know if this is the one for you.
(04:54):
Because I was gonna say it because that's so hard because I think we can have all these expectations. He's going to do this. He's going to do that for you.
You know, she's going to do this. She's going to be involved. And there comes to a point where it's like, okay, sacrifice. She doesn't do this, but she does this or write these things that we haven't in our minds of what they're going to our person is going to be doing.
And so I can imagine that was hard of was I just too picky on this one or was this something I thought that wasn't?
(05:17):
And so like, how do you feel like you were able to discern am I being too picky or is this really from the Lord?
I mean, was it just that nudge that you felt like this was the Holy Spirit?
It was such a feel thing. I wish it was like more obvious. But I guess to that point, I guess with my general history, I always like wasn't really a rule, but I think a like a good chunk of people will say like, Oh, I'll know after like three dates or something like that after like going to see someone.
(05:40):
That was a general rule of mind. But I don't think it was that specifically. I think it was just the fact that like the Lord made it pretty clear really early on for me with the different girls that I was dating.
She's not the one. She's not the one. She's not the one. Now, the inverse side of that was like people would see that and they'd be like critical towards me again, not even just like my close friends, it would be like even like other girls in a community group or something would be like,
(06:04):
David doesn't give it enough of a chance or even worse. There was a girl that was crushing. We had a good relationship. Like it was like kind of like a fun relationship, kind of a flirty relationship, but it was never in my mind going to be something that like I was going to pursue that girl.
But she eventually got feelings and then, but she was very, she eventually got very hurt that like I wasn't going to choose her or date her because she wasn't a believer and she knew that was like such an important thing.
(06:32):
And so she felt very like rejected in that moment. And I, that was like kind of a wake up for me in that moment of like, I think I need to kind of keep this little closer to the chest.
And it was also like a, okay, the like flirty relationships you have with girls like probably need to stop. Like they're not really a healthy mature way to like carry myself as like a man of the Lord, because I just hurt this girl in the, in the process of like having my own fun, you know,
(07:03):
Oh yeah, I get that for sure. So then you're, you've been picky. You've had high standards. So what was it about McKenna that was different and that what did you see in her that you realized this is different?
Yeah, when I had around the time I asked her out, I had done some recon and talk to some people that knew her. So I knew going into the date that she was a believer. That's a whole topic. I think of its own of like, do you not even know long topic?
(07:35):
I think honestly the answers. Well, yeah, I'm pretty clear on the answer. I think that I don't know if it makes sense for a believer to even try to date a non believer.
Yeah, totally. So I'll just say that. But like going back to McKenna, I think that it gave me instant peace, even though I didn't know really anything about her. I was like, okay, she's a believer. That's great.
That's like the cornerstone of our relationships going to look like anyway. So that's just like something that's going to be nice to start with. I also knew that this was funny. I knew that she had maybe been a Mormon in the past or like part of like
(08:08):
Mormonism or whatever. And the same person that like told me she was a believer said that. And then when I got on the first date, this is like a funny tangent, but like got on the first date.
For some reason I like couldn't remember if she really was a Mormon now or she's like a Protestant Christian now. And anyway, like she ended up sharing like, no, I'm like Protestant Christian now. And I was like, okay, good.
(08:32):
Because I was like scared for a second because that wouldn't have flown. But anyway, that was something that was a cornerstone for us. And then I think as I got to know her, I saw her desire and the appetite to want to know the Lord more.
And as someone who, as I said earlier, was always and has always looked for a partner that was going to be someone that could like keep up. That sounds like so it sounds so bad to say. No, it doesn't. It doesn't.
(09:03):
Maybe. Yeah, it's honest. Thank you for saying that. It's honest. And I think we're called to that right somebody who's equally yoked and who's going to run the race. And a couple episodes ago, we had my dad on.
And we were talking about that and he gave this illustration of a triangle and it's like, you are running and your spouse, he was talking to us, right? So your husband is running and y'all are running towards God. And it's like, yeah, somebody who can keep up and who is running that race.
(09:25):
I think that's a great way to say it. Yeah, I just know that I've gotten in trouble kind of saying that using that kind of language from girls who like weren't quite there from other pursuits.
And like, I don't want to like have that come off prideful or like judgmental or anything like that. You know, so anyway, that's all.
No, it doesn't. Cause the other thing too, we have to remember is like, we're choosing the person we're going to tire life to. So like, and I actually gave this advice to my brother who, who is saved but is not actively pursuing the Lord by any means.
(09:55):
But I just said, look, like I want you to always be honest with women and how they were and you owe that to women and you owe that to yourself and how they receive that as long as you're honest and kind is that's, that's, that's their, that's their stuff.
Right. And so I just feel like when you're able to be so discerning and know what you want and have high standards and not compromise and, you know, maybe it takes two days for you to figure that out.
(10:19):
Like that's just, that's your story and that's just true to who you are and in rejection is not fun for anyone, but you're serving them in the long run too. So this is a massive choice and you have every right to be honest about it, you know, and have this high standard.
So yeah.
Yeah. And the other thing I wanted to say is that when we were in the early parts of dating, I felt this like inherent desire. I mean, it was from the Lord, but like to want to treat her and lead her and like guide the whole.
(10:48):
Dating experience very well to the point where I was more than more than normal, like wanting to pursue the Lord, like hear his voice and get and get his word to like know what to do and what steps taken, what words to say.
It was so dialed to like pressing in with him, which I think is a sign. And to this day, she inspired, she truly inspires me to be the best man I can because she's so up here as far as her caliber.
(11:17):
As far as her caliber goes. Yeah. And so I'm like, I don't have room to slit this girl's up here. Like I need to be constantly chugging along. Like I can't stop putting coal on the fire.
Like I need to keep going and going and going. So truly mean and feel that so much, which is incredible because it just it gives me encouragement even more so to know like, yeah, there's no stopping.
(11:40):
Like we're going to keep growing individually together. And anyway, the Lord has shown up a lot. And I guess, of course, I'm sharing a lot about like faith and stuff like that.
But like, that's not the only thing. I mean, I'm sure people are like, well, yeah, the like the faith and all that stuff is there too.
But like, what about the other stuff? And it's like, no, like that stuff was important for me too with her. I mean, she is extremely hardworking.
(12:04):
She's so smart. When I met her, she was and she still is in school and studies hard and like make sure I mean, she's getting like straight A's and like all that stuff is attractive.
The way she cares for people, the way she cares for me, the way she loves and continues to pursue her parents in different ways, like with all the stuff that like she grew up with with the two of them and all of those are just like constant reminders and just like reinforcement to why she's so
(12:33):
easy to pursue. So it's so good. Let's just sit over here like yeah.
Yes. Okay, so also too, I feel like as again, as you're talking, I just love that the ladies that are listening are being able to hear that you are you love the things about Kena that make Kena who she is.
And I think it's so true. Like, I feel like a lot of times even I'm told in my singleness in my 30s, it's like, okay, well, he's godly and I'm like, yeah, he's godly, but there's also other things that I really desire and I, and I don't want God wants to give us the full hundred.
(13:08):
Like he doesn't want to give us 90%. And just because someone's godly and amazing doesn't make that person my person, you know.
And so I love being able to hear that and for you to speak that from a man's perspective of like, yeah, the faith obviously is the cornerstone of y'all's relationship.
And also I just want to speak to like the fact that you're like, she's up here and she's making me go here. She has told me so many times, she's like, I literally can't mess this up because like he's up here and like I got to go and I got to work and I don't, you know, and I'm like, this is so cool to be able to be again in my position to hear you both say that.
(13:39):
So it's so cool because again, people that are listening, that's what we are waiting for if you are single.
It just sounds like, yeah, y'all challenge each other and you are better together and you met a woman who pushes you and challenges you to be the man that God has fully created you to be and not that she's your other half, right?
Like, I think I've heard that a lot that you look for your other half to complete you know y'all were both complete, but you just challenge each other and you're growing and you're on mission for the same thing, which is what's most important.
(14:08):
It is. I, not that like I say this in a fearful way, it's a challenging way. It's like a, it's a healthy challenging way like where they're like, I want to do something to excellence because I'm like, okay, if she knows about this or sees this or whatever, it's like, it's got to be great.
Like no, like just good or it's okay. It's like, no, like I got to impress. And I think that's great. And also like just one thing I forgot to say about just her that you reminded me of when you were speaking was she's a nurse.
(14:37):
Like she's studied nursing and she's going down that path right now specifically with what works with kids. And like that is so attractive because like ultimately I'm, I'm a family man.
I am so excited to have a family and raise kids and love on them well. And she does that to perfection. Like as far as what I hear. And then also we were just on a mission trip in the DR.
(15:00):
And I saw her with kids that are not even her own and she's loving on them so well. And I'm like, gosh, that girl, she's going to be such an awesome wife.
And, and mom and gosh, like that is as a guy that is like so attractive. So that's a perfect segue into what do godly men desire and find attractive in women.
(15:23):
Because we always like, I feel like we're always, you know, girls are always talking the tea. We always talk about the boys, da, da, da, da, like girls are like that. I know guys are not necessarily like that.
But I do feel like guys, especially with you living, I have had the pleasure and the privilege to know the guys that you live with and they're incredible men.
So like what goes on at Piedmont? Like what kind of conversations?
(15:44):
I want to peek behind the curtain, but I am just really curious and I think a lot of our listeners are. And again, I get the blessing of being in close proximity to you now.
So I get to be able to ask you questions specifically on like my life and you can speak into that. But I do think it's powerful for women and Sarah has three brothers.
So she's had a window and incredible dad. You know, I don't have a great relationship with my dad. I love my brother to death.
(16:08):
He's my younger brother, not Godly and you know, love him to death again. But I just, I soak up like a sponge, the things that you say and the things that you stand behind.
And so I guess I am just curious, like what do Godly men look for in women and Godly women and what is attractive to them and like what goes on at basically tell me what goes on at Piedmont and what do you guys talk about as men?
(16:33):
We'll take this, this and then you take the one as well. That's your backstage pass.
I love it.
No, but I was good.
I'll speak for myself. The one thing that's coming to mind right away is respect and a lot of guys will talk about like, oh, like guys want respect, but at the same time, I don't know if it's just my personality or what, but I respect.
(17:02):
I respect the heck out of McKenna and like always have. I think part of that is because like, she just is like so put together and it's almost like a, okay, like I like again going at like the standard thing.
I'm like, all right, like she's so put together. I can't, this can't be a flop like yeah, and she knows what she's talking about and she's not afraid to challenge me as you mentioned.
(17:24):
And like she, she will press in and she'll dig like she is not, she's the opposite of surface level.
Oh yeah.
She will, she first of all, she like doesn't even really ask any surface level questions.
No, the question she asks are so deep and then you're like, oh my gosh, that was so deep and then she'll be like, so why are like, and what made this happen there and like, she just keeps going and going and like the point of that is she really makes you think like there's no BSing around like at all.
(17:53):
And I love that. And gosh, there's so many other things, but that one specifically shines as a standout.
So would that be like a woman who asks deep questions or a woman who is intentional?
I think it's a mix. I think intentionality is massive, like 100% that's that's that's part of it.
There's part that's like hard to even explain like in her being like put together like to me, I guess it's not that hard to explain like she's intelligent.
(18:21):
Like she has a great job and like, I don't want to say all these things and be like, okay, a girl doesn't have that.
Then like they're gone or they're out. Like that's not true.
Those just happen to me like the way she carries herself that the profession she's in things like that.
What made McKenna, Kenty to your point, what made McKenna McKenna like those things were attractive to me, David, but there might be other professions in other ways that girls carry themselves that are attractive to other guys.
(18:46):
So like that's not some like crazy specific thing.
But so maybe it's like the she was confident in who she was and where she was headed. Yes, she was confident.
She knew what she was doing. Yep. How she carried herself. She respected herself. Yes. Yes.
Those are all like very tangible things to me.
Confident carries herself. Well, is that would you say that's pretty universal for Godly men?
(19:09):
Like the guys are they looking for a woman that does respect herself and does carry herself in a certain way and she herself has high standards.
Like, are you, is that kind of like, yeah, kind of what you're saying? Yeah.
I think I knew that she was the real deal very early on because on some of our initial dates, she was talking about marriage, not with me specifically.
(19:31):
But you're like, oh, like what do you think? Like how many kids do you want? Like do you want kids?
I just knew she was the real deal and some people might hear that and be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, way too early.
And like maybe for you it is and that's like totally fine. But I was wanting that.
I knew I wanted that so badly and like it was so important that her to bring it up and ask those questions.
(19:54):
Was it immediate? Like, whoa, I love that because I feel like a lot of times girls are like, we don't want to show our cards too soon.
And I love that you're saying that Godly men want girls that are willing to ask the hard questions and not really what I'm hearing you say is,
like, don't be strategic and when you're going to bring that up. It doesn't matter if it's day two, day three, like ask the real stuff.
So that sounds like that is something that Godly men are craving in Godly women.
(20:17):
Totally, totally. As a guy when I met her in my late 20s and now 30, like that was 100% in play and like encouraged.
I think to that point, something that we totally talk about and can sniff out very quickly is like when there are when there's mature immaturity involved with girls who like don't know what they want.
(20:43):
Don't respect themselves aren't holding those like family and relation relational things at the level that they should be or at the level that the guy currently does.
And so if it's like it's just very easy to sniff out. And honestly, I mean, there's been conversations I've had with some of these guys like where it's like when we collectively talk about it and there's a particular girl that like is giving that off.
(21:10):
It's like, it's a teeth clencher. Yeah, it's like it's just unattractive. Yeah. And anyway, I don't want to harp on those girls.
I think they're like summer. There's everyone's gone through their own journey growing at a different pace. But when you're really chasing after Lord and like making that your number one, those things follow and then it all falls into place at that point.
(21:32):
I love that. I love that. Okay, I do want to ask you about like the pursuit and Godly men hanging out, you know, what happens when a Godly guy sees a woman and what do you think that process should look like versus do you feel like there's some apathy with men in our culture right now?
In our generation, I feel like that's what I'm hearing a lot from women is like they're not being asked out. They're not being pursued. And then I am really curious to get the guys take on that.
(21:59):
Like, why is their hesitancy? Are they fear of rejection? Or is it grass is greener? Is there a plethora of options? What do you feel like that is for guys?
Because I know what the girls are saying, but I'm curious what the guys say in terms of like what does that pursuit looking like and why is there a discrepancy in action?
I think when it comes to pursuit, I'm very traditional and like have never really flip flopped on this. I think that as the guy as the man, you should 100% be the one pursuing.
(22:31):
And it's funny that the way like our story turned out, like because neither of us would have really done that. But I think that's just like a God having a sense of humor kind of thing at the end of the day. But like, yeah, as far as just like initial dating process, you've never gone out with this person before, and you're interested as a guy.
And it's like, yeah, make the ask happen. I think we I've talked about this so many so many times with with different guys, but it's like, okay, what are the forms of asking out that make the most sense or like come off the best.
(23:01):
And the first, in my opinion, would be like, okay, yeah, ask a mountain person like get maybe get to know him a little bit like don't. I don't think it's off limits to randomly go up to a girl.
I just think it helps your chances if they like know who you are a little bit. But again, that's not to say like, don't do it. Like if you have a like one chance to make it happen. And otherwise you'll never see the girl again or whatever.
Ask them out like what do you have to lose. That's kind of my mentality there. And then if you can't be in person, I think like, you know, do the do the call or like the voice message or whatever else there's there's other ways to do it.
(23:33):
But guys got to do it.
Okay, so with that, do you know the phrase drop a hanky.
Yes.
Thanks to Kenzie.
Did I teach you that?
Is this a me thing? Does anybody else know?
I had no idea what she meant by that.
No, it's not anything. I remember it was like a it's a Victorian era thing like these women like proper.
(23:55):
I know it's a me proper.
It's like women in their ball gowns. I actually don't know if this is all true. So somebody fact check me. But what I imagine when I first heard about drop the hanky, it's like, are you laughing at me?
No, you are.
Okay, anyways, so it's like when women would like dress up in ball gown dresses and like go to balls and events and then she would see a man that she's interested in and she'd walk by and you know, they have their little handkerchief and she would drop a hanky in front of him and then walk by and pick up the hanky in front of him.
(24:24):
So it's basically just saying like, I'm here. Do you see me or like, I'm going to show you I'm here without being like, hello, would you like a dance? You know, so it's not the total pursuit, but it's the I'm dropping this hanky to say I'm here.
So in our culture, what does that look like? Whether it's the text, the call that go up to him, like, what do you think about that? The drop the hanky?
Yeah, I think that it's in play. And I don't think it hurts. I don't want it to be. I mean, I don't like, how do I say this? I don't want it to be a crutch for guys, though, if girls like do that all the time and like that's that becomes the norm.
(25:00):
Not that it really would, but like, I mean, just in theory, like, I don't think it's the girl's job to be doing that left and right to try to get the attention to like, to, to, you know, not force to guy, but like lead the guy to ask them out because at the end of the day, I'm a strong believer that's like, because I believe this for myself.
If I'm interested in a girl, I will ask them out whether they do that for me or not. Yeah. And so that doesn't though take away from the fact that there are some guys out there that do need those little hints and like, I'm not going to like diss it or something totally.
(25:35):
It's not, it's not like bad. It's just, I think that guys, when you mentioned culture and society now, I think there is truth behind the fact that like guys have gotten like softer and like more intimidated in their head about like asking women out.
And I think that's just like, I think it's a fail. Like, I think it's like guys got to like, they've got to just take more ownership in authority and just take the leap. And like, I'm not going to use the phrase man up, but like, I will say that take the leap.
(26:09):
Like what's the worst that can happen? Like if you really are into this girl, whoever it is, and you want to take them on a date and get to know them better than just ask. And like the worst that can happen is they say no.
And then you move on. You mentioned at one point, you had said something about how rejection like hits home for a lot of guys. It totally does. I think it's too much of a crush though, like to use that as like, yeah, I'm just so afraid of getting rejected.
(26:36):
It's like, who the heck cares? Like, yeah, it's either at the end of the day, if you're like a believer, that person that you're considering asking out is either going to be your wife or she's not.
So like, let's just cut to the chase. Like ask me out. And so I always use that as confidence when asking out someone is like, great, like deny me. Like, okay, I know. Yeah, like I know that it's not the case.
(27:01):
And that's happened plenty of times, like getting denied and me being like, okay, and some of them stung more than others. I'm not going to say it never heard. And I was like emotionless and like, I could ask anyone out.
It's like, no, I still like got nervous and like was, you know, not wanting to get rejected or whatever. But it didn't stop me from asking girls out.
(27:23):
And I think too, like as a woman, it's so attractive when a man takes that quote unquote risk and asking us out because I think I just want to speak to the girls too.
Like, I think it's so it should be so attractive to a man that a woman is going to let him pursue her. And that doesn't mean that she's stone cold and she's not approachable or you know, anything like that.
(27:46):
I think the drop in the hanky can be like a smile or like I had asked you this question in the DR. I was like, David, tell me what your thoughts are on the hanky because I had learned that from you, Sarah.
And because I was asking him all these questions, picking his brain and it's so true of like, you made this great comment of like, if it's like a quick 15 minute conversation, you know, and she's being really friendly that in your eyes is dropping the handgames like, yes, okay, so it's not girls don't need to slide into the DM and get the guys attention.
(28:11):
Like, you don't need to be liking his Instagram stories to get his attention. Like, your man will have eyes for you because the Lord told him to. And I think it's just encouraging for us as women to know that there's nothing that we need to go and do.
I think women get really caught up. I know I have in the past until, you know, the last probably six months or so where I'm just like so surrendered in that in that season of my life and dating of like, I know my man's going to be like, I want to get to know this girl.
(28:36):
Again, we're not committing to marriage. We're just getting to know each other. And if it doesn't work out, doesn't work out. But I think it's just so refreshing to hear you talk about this. And for women to hold their standard high and that a man's going to pursue them initially,
especially initially, you know, and to I think it's like, I'm a very traditional girl, like I want to be like, Kenzie said, I have three brothers, a dad, I love a gentleman, I want to be pursued.
(29:01):
And I think at times that has felt hard and it's like, Oh my gosh, do I need to get a guy's attention or how do I do that? And I think I've tried that in the past. It's like, well, should I, you know, should I? Yeah, slide in his DMs.
Should I let him know I'm here? And it's like, I'm walking with the Lord and I, I trust that my husband is too. And if that's what God has for me, if God has a husband for me, then I pray that he'll put me on his heart and he will pursue me.
(29:25):
And I don't have to, like, what is that like for you? If, like, do you, if a girl's messaging you or sliding your DMs when you were single, you know, if that's happening? It's like, does that spark anything new? And you have like, Oh, this girl, or it's like, if you liked her, you would have already messaged her.
Or if you were interested, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Does that do anything?
To speak to that last part real quick, I would get like flack from guys too of, because I'm pretty quick to act. So if there's someone, if they're in the past with someone that I was interested in, I would like try to act on it very almost immediately of like, you know, not within five seconds, but, you know, within the next week, like, falling up or like, you know,
(30:05):
sliding into the DMs or like whatever. I don't think the girl to answer your question, like, I don't, I don't think they need to do that. Like I don't think it gives any sort of advantage.
For me, I think for other guys, like the reality is it does. Like, so that's tough to say. I'm not going to like say a blanket statement there.
I think some guys were where they're at, like, might need that extra boost. Like, oh, like, I think she like really is like, I think she's like showing me something here and like, even them getting a DM like wouldn't even fully let them know like, oh, this girl's into me, like, they're kind of like, maybe a little
(30:36):
clueless or like be like, like, they don't maybe have the confidence enough to know or realize like, oh, this this girl's into me. But yeah, I mean, to speak to another part of that just real quick.
This is only happened like twice for the record. But I have gotten asked out by these two girls. And it, it's just like, it's kind of like a little awkward, right? Like, it's just not, it's almost like it's not meant to be.
(31:06):
It's not meant to be that a girl asked out the guy. Like, it's just not. And like, I think that just manifested itself in the awkwardness of both these situations. I'm not an awkward person. And I, and it like, it got diffused both of them pretty quick.
But one of them, we were like at a party and she came up to me like while we were in the hallway and it was like just very all of a sudden like, Hey, like, just like, was really mean to ask you out.
(31:29):
Or I was really mean to ask you this. Like, I would love to, you know, go out and like maybe we could grab dinner and it was again, just like, no, like, I knew her for months.
And so like, yeah, if I was into it, I would have asked her out. And so it was kind of this like, I was buying time because I was like, so on the spot. And she was like, Oh, like, if you're like, it was so bad.
(31:51):
She was like, if you're, if you're scared, like you don't have like, and it was like, she got really defensive and it was like, Oh, like just super cringe.
And we ended up like diffusing and talking about some other topic, but it was nightmare status for that situation. Anyway, there was another one that was way lower key.
Same thing asking out. And then it was, I had been a little bit prepared at that point. And I was like, Hey, I just immediately was like, Hey, like, I actually just like see us as friends.
(32:19):
I did say that with the other girl too, but it was not as quick or like off the off the drop. And I wish I'd said it quicker. That's where I was going with it. But like, she, anyway, all that said, not something that the lady should do.
Yeah.
And expect like success, I guess, like, yeah.
I think too, what you realize is if I as a woman and the one pursuing or initiating, I think it's just setting a foundation for what the relationship is going to be like, and I'm like, I want to lead.
(32:46):
I want him and if I'm starting it with that, then what I have seen, because I have done that I have message guys and I've never asked a guy out, but I think I have tried to get his attention and realizing if I'm doing that one, it's probably the wrong reasons that he's even interested or yeah, it's just,
it's me already trying to lead. And I really want to, I think I've had to learn to really surrender that and just be like, I trust that if the Lord has somebody for me, then I will do my part to become the woman that he has created me to be and pray that the Lord will put me on some man's heart for when
(33:18):
then the timing is right and whatever that looks like.
Totally.
Yeah, like, I just, I think so many times women act out of fear because they get worried. Oh, it's been so long since I've had a day, maybe I need to put myself out there more.
Maybe I'm not doing the right things. And I think that's something that, you know, when the enemy creeps into my mind, it's like, Hey, Ken, it's like, what are you actually doing?
I'm like, well, I love my life. And just because I am single right now does not mean that I'm doing anything wrong with my life or I need to start extending myself in this way or open up this new area in my life in this way.
(33:49):
I'm just like, no, I'm going to keep living my life. I'm going to keep chasing the Lord as fast as I can. And exactly the way that you and Ken have met, you're going to look like what Jeff, Mr.
Mr. Hilton advised us and we've heard this, you know, and how many sermons have we heard like chase the kingdom, you'll look to your right or to your left and then you'll see your person.
And no, that actually is the reality. And so I think for women, it's like, no, you don't have to go and make yourself something that you're not because then, well, one, if you do that, you're going to attract somebody that is not meant for you because they're attracted to this person.
(34:18):
And that's because they're attracted to this false perception that you're giving them. But also too, I just don't want women to get caught up in the fact that they need to make it happen.
I just, it's so refreshing to hear your perspective and to just know that we're doing all that we need to be doing, which is loving Jesus and loving on our community and working hard in our jobs and, you know, just furthering like the progress in our hearts to prepare us for wives because we're preparing to be a wife so much as we're single.
(34:46):
And when we're in our singleness, we are not just waiting, but we're serving. I'm certain I talk about this all the time and it's just so cool to hear a guy's perspective on that of like, no, ladies, you don't have to drop the hand if you don't want to.
You shouldn't have to. And then like Sarah said, it's so brilliant. If you do that on the front end, you're going to be doing that the rest of the relationship.
Okay, so with that, what are your thoughts on dating apps?
(35:09):
That is a great question. And I guess I'll start it off by saying it totally depends. I think I'm not just a straight up like I'm not like a dating app suck. No one should use them by any means.
I think everyone at this point in life knows at least one couple that probably has gotten married, let alone is like in a really great relationship. So clearly they work for some people.
(35:34):
So I think ultimately comes down to how do you personally feel about them? What's your personal conviction? I don't think there's any blanket like for this set of people dating apps can't work.
It's like go internally, go vertical to the Lord. Like what is what does he say for for you on that? And for me, it was very, it was very clear pretty early on when I first started using the dating apps that they
(36:03):
just like to call space, they like made me like lustful. I just became all about the looks and not say looks aren't important, but like it was over dramatic size. So that's that wasn't healthy.
And there was just other things too. And I came to the conclusion after that first experience using them. I don't really like these and I just don't see myself meeting my future spouse on a dating app.
(36:29):
And that was like what years ago, I mean, when they whenever they first came out seven, eight, whatever year amount of years ago and classic human being human, like I didn't like get off them and stay off them.
I would go back and be like during times of like uncertainty of like maybe the Lord like hasn't been super clear on it for me and I would like try him again and download him and every single time.
(36:51):
It was like three more times after that first one, but like every time was a quick like month or less of like this is not for me. Like it just gives me anxiety.
Also, like I didn't have really any success. So it was it was draining and I just the Lord confirmed like this is not for you. This is not for you. This is for you. And so it was just a matter of listening to that.
(37:18):
Yeah, no, I love that. And I think that's live getting your perspective, especially as a as a godly man, what your perspective is on dating apps, because Sarah and I both have our perspective.
We've talked about it at length. Obviously, Sarah and I are single and we live in a generation where it's just accessible on our phone and I have a very strong conviction.
Now I've been on dating apps before, but I have a very strong conviction just from the Lord like that's just not how I'm going to meet my husband.
(37:43):
And a big part of that is like what you said going vertically like I really if I have an extra 15 minutes in my day, I am not desiring to look at my phone and start swiping and messaging with guys.
I want to read my Bible, go for a walk with my dog spend some time with my friends. Like I just want to be able to lean more into my life instead of feeling like I need to do that.
And it's not that it's not tempting because there are times where it's like, I could get a quick fix of validation and feel desired and and oh, someone's interested in me.
(38:13):
Someone thinks that I'm pretty whatever the case may be. But I think even more, even more so when we're not going to those lengths, I think if you have that conviction and not do that, there's a reason and maybe there's something that the Lord wants to work in you or into your point.
Like, that's not how you were going to meet your wife, you know, so with that a question for you, David, what what do you see when you look at a woman and does it matter if she has community and what her friends are like and what is she doing in her spare time?
(38:40):
Like, do you notice those things? What is what are you looking for? And I guess specifically to if there's a way you can speak to us single women, what are guys looking at in single women that are pursuing a relationship to lead to marriage?
Yep, totally. It is one of the first things that that I look at and I know my roommates and lots of guys, solid Christian guys will look at is like, Okay, number one, are they a believer? Number two, are they actively involved in their faith? And that includes a lot of things.
(39:12):
And that includes are they going to church consistently? What does their Christian community look like? And so if you don't have that, like if women don't have that or they share that they don't have that, when I've heard that in the past, it's a little it's it's a flag.
It actually is in that it's not like just like a oh, that's unfortunate. It's like a yellow flag of like, Why do you not have that? Yeah, why is that not a priority for you?
(39:38):
Because the Bible is very clear about doing life in community. And so it's a testament not only to maybe you're not in the word as much as you should be, but like you're not obeying it. And so obedience to the word is super important.
So like seeing that's one way that you see obedience in a woman's action or or guy, of course, to like in this case, as a guy seeking out a godly woman, are they obedient to the Lord in that because the reality is like, if you're not obedient to Lord and something like that,
(40:10):
that's actually like kind of simple. Some people might disagree with that. But like for me, it's been simple to find Christian community because it's like, go to church and like put yourself out there and like get some it's uncomfortable, but it's just kind of simple.
Maybe that's not blanket, but like still say that again, why that's so important is like if you can't do that, then like, how am I going to trust that like you actually like want to like not have sex before marriage or like all those really like other really important things that are going to not just affect you,
(40:39):
they're going to affect both of us. So, you know, that's really good.
I feel like we could can we could talk to David for hours and hours, but I do want to kind of wrap with this particular question of just what advice as someone who loves the Lord and you know, you're dating my best friend in the world.
And I adore you so much. What advice would you give to obviously Sarah and I are both single girls, but just single girls in general that love the Lord that maybe are feeling hidden or unseen and are desiring what you guys have and desiring a godly man.
(41:14):
What advice would you give us?
I think that just to give my like two cents on the thought of the desires that the Lord gives us, like I think both of you clearly for myself to like the Lord clearly gave me a desire to be married and I battled the thought of like, is that like really from him?
(41:35):
Is that just me?
I was like, no, like I really generally think that's from him.
And like, why would he hold out on me?
Like he's only come through.
That's good.
So I leaned on that, but then the other, the key verse that like really got hammered in was Matthew 633 and seeking first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these other things will be given to you as well.
(41:57):
And I was like, even the desire for marriage is like, even the desire for marriage.
And I was like, okay, great.
So what does that look like?
What is seeking first the kingdom of God look like?
It meant like again, surrendering this like, I got to do this or I got to stand out in this way as you were mentioning.
And it's like, wipe that all off the table.
And like, what are the things that the word says to pursue the Lord and build his kingdom?
(42:23):
And we are familiar with spiritual disciplines and like as simple as it is to say, like, I mean, there's like the, these are all critical though.
They're simple, but they're critical.
Like how often are you reading the Bible? Like, are you making that an actual priority?
Or are you just talking about it a lot?
Like for me, that was a real conviction this past summer of like, I was leading this Bible study and I wasn't actively daily in the word.
(42:47):
And I got pissed.
Like the Lord gave me like a righteous anger at myself to like clean up my act and stop making excuses and wait and stop the like I was waking up for run clubs.
And I don't even, I still to this day, six months later, don't even love running.
And here I am waking up at 515 to go on a 6am run for four miles.
(43:10):
But I can't wake up to read the Bible.
Like even though that's the most important thing to me in my life and running is like at the bottom.
Like, so that was, he really used that to convict me and it hit home.
So yeah, like what's the priority level on reading the word?
How often are you praying?
Like what does your prayer life even look like?
Are you flexing that muscle?
(43:33):
Are you pressing into other spiritual disciplines?
Like do you do you spend time in solitude and silence or similar to like a Sabbath?
Or do you again make excuses because like you're so busy?
It's like, we all know that like that's kind of BS too.
Like we, you can make time for anything that's a priority.
So where are the priorities actually at?
(43:56):
Fasting even like do like what?
What is their fasting like background look?
I don't even know. That sounds so weird, but like, I mean, have you explored fasting?
Have you read about it?
Like what are your thoughts on like, are they familiar with those are the spiritual disciplines?
Like that shows a real sign of maturity.
And like I didn't even learn about the spiritual disciplines until like a few years ago and what they truly meant.
(44:19):
So I mean, they're all just funnels into spiritual maturity.
And at any given time, any believer's like level of execution on any of those things is always like fluctuating.
But like, I mean, in general, like, is there consistency there?
Like that's the that's one of the biggest things.
That's like my keyword when it comes to pursuing a woman.
(44:41):
Like when people ask that classic question, like, what do you look for?
What's like the most important thing thing you look for in a woman?
It's like, it's consistent because you can apply it to so much.
Like, are they consistent in their relationship with the Lord?
Like, do they press in and then it can also relate to like actual personality and like your relationship itself?
And do they like give you 100% of their like the real self or do they fake it?
(45:02):
Like, what I, you know, I can go on forever for that.
But yeah,
No, I love that.
I feel like it's just so good for us women to hear that like be consistent in your life,
in your pursuit of Jesus, in how you shop for your work and your family and your friends.
And like you said, Matthew 633, I will be added to you like seek versus kingdom.
And so ladies spoken from David Taylor, it's just, it's so powerful, at least for me.
(45:26):
And I know if it's powerful me for me, I know it's powerful for others to hear just your, your take on it and how you've pursued Kena.
And just as someone who has been a bystander in this entire love story and will continue to be a part of it.
It's just been one of the greatest gifts.
My family actually did a dinner right before Christmas.
And I just asked my family, like what was the best thing kind of what it got teach you wins and losses of the year.
(45:52):
And then I said, what are you most excited about in 2025?
And my family asked me in returning.
I was like, honestly, David and Kena, like, I can't wait.
It's just been so amazing.
So thank you for being here with us and sharing your story and just being you.
Just, I love you and I adore you and I'm just excited and it's been such a gift to have you here.
(46:15):
Yes. So fun to hear more about who you are and just the encouragement for us as single women who are pursuing the Lord,
who really, really deeply desire to be married, but God is doing something else right now.
And so for us to even just hear what it looks like from a brother in Christ to share that to us as a gift.
So thank you.
Absolutely. Thanks for having me on. This is so fun.
(46:38):
So fun.
And remember, even if he is still good.
Welcome back to the Even If podcast. I'm Kenzie and I'm Sarah and we have part two with David Taylor, my new friend who I just met last week.
(00:13):
That's right. Excited to be back.
Welcome back. So last week, if y'all didn't listen, we had an awesome conversation with David just learning about him. It was my first time meeting him. David is dating McKenna, which is one of Kinsey's best friends.
And David told us a little bit about himself and then their relationship. So today we are going to get a little bit deeper on his past, his dating relationships and then just kind of picking into the man's mind even more.
(00:41):
Great. Let's do it.
Man's mind.
All right. So first question, I guess you told last week again about how you and kind of dated friends, that whole story, which is incredible if y'all haven't listened, go back and listen last week.
So what was it like before you met her? What were your, had you dated a lot? Had you been pursuing girls? What was that like for you?
(01:02):
Yeah, I can just give you the full history of my dating because it hasn't been too much when I was in college, went almost all four years not dating anyone before that, even like high school, didn't really date post college or I guess right around end of college had started dating this girl.
And it was like two months before we graduated. She was a believer. I had always, I guess for context, had thought that dating a believer was paramount. It was like super important to me.
(01:31):
Just because I grew up in a Christian household and faith became really important to be in high school and then carry that to college. So that was kind of like a staple.
She did young life. I thought, you know, again, being like one of my first relationships, I was like, Hey, that's great.
She does young life kind of more of a check the box. And not to say she like wasn't a real believer or anything like that.
I think that I certainly was more, I think I was a little more intentional with my pursuit of my faith than she was, but that was okay at that time. Cause again, I was still kind of learning like what this whole dating thing dating a believer was like.
(02:03):
Sure. She was a year below me. I graduated and it went long distance and after that didn't last very long. So I think it was like five months and I was super, super crushed by the fact that it ended because being that it had been one of my first real relationships.
I had always thought like, Hey, I'm not going to be the one to like be the cause of something ending. Like I'm in it to win it. Let's reckon do this. And she just wasn't in the same boat and that was okay.
(02:30):
And I learned and recovered from all that and Lord healed it and it was great, but still really hard during the time after that. I don't even want to say a handful of dates.
I really didn't like, I didn't date for probably a year or two after that, not even like trying to not and not trying to like, it just like happened to work out that way. I moved to San Diego and there when I moved there started dating a little bit more frequently.
(02:56):
I met girls, met a few girls through church and nothing really lasted that long. I think part of that was because of like logistical reasons. Like one girl like moved away and like, so it's okay. That's not going to really work out.
Didn't want to repeat a last time. I guess the other side of it was like at that point when I had moved to San Diego and got involved in church.
(03:17):
I leveled up my meaning or the intentionality behind like the type of girl I wanted to date. Not only did they have to like just be Christian, but it was more of like, okay, what are they actively involved in now?
Like they weren't just part of like something in the past. Like they are really pursuing whether they're in a group or leading girls or whatever it is.
I would get made fun of a lot from some of my guy friends in a joking way, but like somewhat serious of like your bar is so high.
(03:44):
And for me, that was like a compliment, but also like began to wear on me because I was like, dang.
Eventually, like after years and years past, it was like, maybe these guys are right. So that was like a mind like our thought that went through my mind.
Yeah. Yeah.
But then at the same time, I always had a pretty strong conviction from the Lord of like, no, like don't settle, especially don't settle on someone who's like not very strong in their faith.
(04:07):
And I had always felt led from like college onwards to get involved in leadership, whether that was leading just men's groups, whether it was just like mentoring guys or like discipling guys on the side.
And I always saw that my partner would be doing something similar.
(04:30):
And so when the girl that I was dating wasn't fitting that it was like this little needle like prodding me during the dating process of like, is she really the one?
And so I didn't know in those moments, truthfully, I was like, is that me just being super critical and like not wanting to commit or not wanting this or that?
Or is it the Lord kind of like gently nudging me to like remind me like this? Like, I don't know if this is the one for you.
(04:54):
Because I was gonna say it because that's so hard because I think we can have all these expectations. He's going to do this. He's going to do that for you.
You know, she's going to do this. She's going to be involved. And there comes to a point where it's like, okay, sacrifice. She doesn't do this, but she does this or write these things that we haven't in our minds of what they're going to our person is going to be doing.
And so I can imagine that was hard of was I just too picky on this one or was this something I thought that wasn't?
(05:17):
And so like, how do you feel like you were able to discern am I being too picky or is this really from the Lord?
I mean, was it just that nudge that you felt like this was the Holy Spirit?
It was such a feel thing. I wish it was like more obvious. But I guess to that point, I guess with my general history, I always like wasn't really a rule, but I think a like a good chunk of people will say like, Oh, I'll know after like three dates or something like that after like going to see someone.
(05:40):
That was a general rule of mind. But I don't think it was that specifically. I think it was just the fact that like the Lord made it pretty clear really early on for me with the different girls that I was dating.
She's not the one. She's not the one. She's not the one. Now, the inverse side of that was like people would see that and they'd be like critical towards me again, not even just like my close friends, it would be like even like other girls in a community group or something would be like,
(06:04):
David doesn't give it enough of a chance or even worse. There was a girl that was crushing. We had a good relationship. Like it was like kind of like a fun relationship, kind of a flirty relationship, but it was never in my mind going to be something that like I was going to pursue that girl.
But she eventually got feelings and then, but she was very, she eventually got very hurt that like I wasn't going to choose her or date her because she wasn't a believer and she knew that was like such an important thing.
(06:32):
And so she felt very like rejected in that moment. And I, that was like kind of a wake up for me in that moment of like, I think I need to kind of keep this little closer to the chest.
And it was also like a, okay, the like flirty relationships you have with girls like probably need to stop. Like they're not really a healthy mature way to like carry myself as like a man of the Lord, because I just hurt this girl in the, in the process of like having my own fun, you know,
(07:03):
Oh yeah, I get that for sure. So then you're, you've been picky. You've had high standards. So what was it about McKenna that was different and that what did you see in her that you realized this is different?
Yeah, when I had around the time I asked her out, I had done some recon and talk to some people that knew her. So I knew going into the date that she was a believer. That's a whole topic. I think of its own of like, do you not even know long topic?
(07:35):
I think honestly the answers. Well, yeah, I'm pretty clear on the answer. I think that I don't know if it makes sense for a believer to even try to date a non believer.
Yeah, totally. So I'll just say that. But like going back to McKenna, I think that it gave me instant peace, even though I didn't know really anything about her. I was like, okay, she's a believer. That's great.
That's like the cornerstone of our relationships going to look like anyway. So that's just like something that's going to be nice to start with. I also knew that this was funny. I knew that she had maybe been a Mormon in the past or like part of like
(08:08):
Mormonism or whatever. And the same person that like told me she was a believer said that. And then when I got on the first date, this is like a funny tangent, but like got on the first date.
For some reason I like couldn't remember if she really was a Mormon now or she's like a Protestant Christian now. And anyway, like she ended up sharing like, no, I'm like Protestant Christian now. And I was like, okay, good.
(08:32):
Because I was like scared for a second because that wouldn't have flown. But anyway, that was something that was a cornerstone for us. And then I think as I got to know her, I saw her desire and the appetite to want to know the Lord more.
And as someone who, as I said earlier, was always and has always looked for a partner that was going to be someone that could like keep up. That sounds like so it sounds so bad to say. No, it doesn't. It doesn't.
(09:03):
Maybe. Yeah, it's honest. Thank you for saying that. It's honest. And I think we're called to that right somebody who's equally yoked and who's going to run the race. And a couple episodes ago, we had my dad on.
And we were talking about that and he gave this illustration of a triangle and it's like, you are running and your spouse, he was talking to us, right? So your husband is running and y'all are running towards God. And it's like, yeah, somebody who can keep up and who is running that race.
(09:25):
I think that's a great way to say it. Yeah, I just know that I've gotten in trouble kind of saying that using that kind of language from girls who like weren't quite there from other pursuits.
And like, I don't want to like have that come off prideful or like judgmental or anything like that. You know, so anyway, that's all.
No, it doesn't. Cause the other thing too, we have to remember is like, we're choosing the person we're going to tire life to. So like, and I actually gave this advice to my brother who, who is saved but is not actively pursuing the Lord by any means.
(09:55):
But I just said, look, like I want you to always be honest with women and how they were and you owe that to women and you owe that to yourself and how they receive that as long as you're honest and kind is that's, that's, that's their, that's their stuff.
Right. And so I just feel like when you're able to be so discerning and know what you want and have high standards and not compromise and, you know, maybe it takes two days for you to figure that out.
(10:19):
Like that's just, that's your story and that's just true to who you are and in rejection is not fun for anyone, but you're serving them in the long run too. So this is a massive choice and you have every right to be honest about it, you know, and have this high standard.
So yeah.
Yeah. And the other thing I wanted to say is that when we were in the early parts of dating, I felt this like inherent desire. I mean, it was from the Lord, but like to want to treat her and lead her and like guide the whole.
(10:48):
Dating experience very well to the point where I was more than more than normal, like wanting to pursue the Lord, like hear his voice and get and get his word to like know what to do and what steps taken, what words to say.
It was so dialed to like pressing in with him, which I think is a sign. And to this day, she inspired, she truly inspires me to be the best man I can because she's so up here as far as her caliber.
(11:17):
As far as her caliber goes. Yeah. And so I'm like, I don't have room to slit this girl's up here. Like I need to be constantly chugging along. Like I can't stop putting coal on the fire.
Like I need to keep going and going and going. So truly mean and feel that so much, which is incredible because it just it gives me encouragement even more so to know like, yeah, there's no stopping.
(11:40):
Like we're going to keep growing individually together. And anyway, the Lord has shown up a lot. And I guess, of course, I'm sharing a lot about like faith and stuff like that.
But like, that's not the only thing. I mean, I'm sure people are like, well, yeah, the like the faith and all that stuff is there too.
But like, what about the other stuff? And it's like, no, like that stuff was important for me too with her. I mean, she is extremely hardworking.
(12:04):
She's so smart. When I met her, she was and she still is in school and studies hard and like make sure I mean, she's getting like straight A's and like all that stuff is attractive.
The way she cares for people, the way she cares for me, the way she loves and continues to pursue her parents in different ways, like with all the stuff that like she grew up with with the two of them and all of those are just like constant reminders and just like reinforcement to why she's so
(12:33):
easy to pursue. So it's so good. Let's just sit over here like yeah.
Yes. Okay, so also too, I feel like as again, as you're talking, I just love that the ladies that are listening are being able to hear that you are you love the things about Kena that make Kena who she is.
And I think it's so true. Like, I feel like a lot of times even I'm told in my singleness in my 30s, it's like, okay, well, he's godly and I'm like, yeah, he's godly, but there's also other things that I really desire and I, and I don't want God wants to give us the full hundred.
(13:08):
Like he doesn't want to give us 90%. And just because someone's godly and amazing doesn't make that person my person, you know.
And so I love being able to hear that and for you to speak that from a man's perspective of like, yeah, the faith obviously is the cornerstone of y'all's relationship.
And also I just want to speak to like the fact that you're like, she's up here and she's making me go here. She has told me so many times, she's like, I literally can't mess this up because like he's up here and like I got to go and I got to work and I don't, you know, and I'm like, this is so cool to be able to be again in my position to hear you both say that.
(13:39):
So it's so cool because again, people that are listening, that's what we are waiting for if you are single.
It just sounds like, yeah, y'all challenge each other and you are better together and you met a woman who pushes you and challenges you to be the man that God has fully created you to be and not that she's your other half, right?
Like, I think I've heard that a lot that you look for your other half to complete you know y'all were both complete, but you just challenge each other and you're growing and you're on mission for the same thing, which is what's most important.
(14:08):
It is. I, not that like I say this in a fearful way, it's a challenging way. It's like a, it's a healthy challenging way like where they're like, I want to do something to excellence because I'm like, okay, if she knows about this or sees this or whatever, it's like, it's got to be great.
Like no, like just good or it's okay. It's like, no, like I got to impress. And I think that's great. And also like just one thing I forgot to say about just her that you reminded me of when you were speaking was she's a nurse.
(14:37):
Like she's studied nursing and she's going down that path right now specifically with what works with kids. And like that is so attractive because like ultimately I'm, I'm a family man.
I am so excited to have a family and raise kids and love on them well. And she does that to perfection. Like as far as what I hear. And then also we were just on a mission trip in the DR.
(15:00):
And I saw her with kids that are not even her own and she's loving on them so well. And I'm like, gosh, that girl, she's going to be such an awesome wife.
And, and mom and gosh, like that is as a guy that is like so attractive. So that's a perfect segue into what do godly men desire and find attractive in women.
(15:23):
Because we always like, I feel like we're always, you know, girls are always talking the tea. We always talk about the boys, da, da, da, da, like girls are like that. I know guys are not necessarily like that.
But I do feel like guys, especially with you living, I have had the pleasure and the privilege to know the guys that you live with and they're incredible men.
So like what goes on at Piedmont? Like what kind of conversations?
(15:44):
I want to peek behind the curtain, but I am just really curious and I think a lot of our listeners are. And again, I get the blessing of being in close proximity to you now.
So I get to be able to ask you questions specifically on like my life and you can speak into that. But I do think it's powerful for women and Sarah has three brothers.
So she's had a window and incredible dad. You know, I don't have a great relationship with my dad. I love my brother to death.
(16:08):
He's my younger brother, not Godly and you know, love him to death again. But I just, I soak up like a sponge, the things that you say and the things that you stand behind.
And so I guess I am just curious, like what do Godly men look for in women and Godly women and what is attractive to them and like what goes on at basically tell me what goes on at Piedmont and what do you guys talk about as men?
(16:33):
We'll take this, this and then you take the one as well. That's your backstage pass.
I love it.
No, but I was good.
I'll speak for myself. The one thing that's coming to mind right away is respect and a lot of guys will talk about like, oh, like guys want respect, but at the same time, I don't know if it's just my personality or what, but I respect.
(17:02):
I respect the heck out of McKenna and like always have. I think part of that is because like, she just is like so put together and it's almost like a, okay, like I like again going at like the standard thing.
I'm like, all right, like she's so put together. I can't, this can't be a flop like yeah, and she knows what she's talking about and she's not afraid to challenge me as you mentioned.
(17:24):
And like she, she will press in and she'll dig like she is not, she's the opposite of surface level.
Oh yeah.
She will, she first of all, she like doesn't even really ask any surface level questions.
No, the question she asks are so deep and then you're like, oh my gosh, that was so deep and then she'll be like, so why are like, and what made this happen there and like, she just keeps going and going and like the point of that is she really makes you think like there's no BSing around like at all.
(17:53):
And I love that. And gosh, there's so many other things, but that one specifically shines as a standout.
So would that be like a woman who asks deep questions or a woman who is intentional?
I think it's a mix. I think intentionality is massive, like 100% that's that's that's part of it.
There's part that's like hard to even explain like in her being like put together like to me, I guess it's not that hard to explain like she's intelligent.
(18:21):
Like she has a great job and like, I don't want to say all these things and be like, okay, a girl doesn't have that.
Then like they're gone or they're out. Like that's not true.
Those just happen to me like the way she carries herself that the profession she's in things like that.
What made McKenna, Kenty to your point, what made McKenna McKenna like those things were attractive to me, David, but there might be other professions in other ways that girls carry themselves that are attractive to other guys.
(18:46):
So like that's not some like crazy specific thing.
But so maybe it's like the she was confident in who she was and where she was headed. Yes, she was confident.
She knew what she was doing. Yep. How she carried herself. She respected herself. Yes. Yes.
Those are all like very tangible things to me.
Confident carries herself. Well, is that would you say that's pretty universal for Godly men?
(19:09):
Like the guys are they looking for a woman that does respect herself and does carry herself in a certain way and she herself has high standards.
Like, are you, is that kind of like, yeah, kind of what you're saying? Yeah.
I think I knew that she was the real deal very early on because on some of our initial dates, she was talking about marriage, not with me specifically.
(19:31):
But you're like, oh, like what do you think? Like how many kids do you want? Like do you want kids?
I just knew she was the real deal and some people might hear that and be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, way too early.
And like maybe for you it is and that's like totally fine. But I was wanting that.
I knew I wanted that so badly and like it was so important that her to bring it up and ask those questions.
(19:54):
Was it immediate? Like, whoa, I love that because I feel like a lot of times girls are like, we don't want to show our cards too soon.
And I love that you're saying that Godly men want girls that are willing to ask the hard questions and not really what I'm hearing you say is,
like, don't be strategic and when you're going to bring that up. It doesn't matter if it's day two, day three, like ask the real stuff.
So that sounds like that is something that Godly men are craving in Godly women.
(20:17):
Totally, totally. As a guy when I met her in my late 20s and now 30, like that was 100% in play and like encouraged.
I think to that point, something that we totally talk about and can sniff out very quickly is like when there are when there's mature immaturity involved with girls who like don't know what they want.
(20:43):
Don't respect themselves aren't holding those like family and relation relational things at the level that they should be or at the level that the guy currently does.
And so if it's like it's just very easy to sniff out. And honestly, I mean, there's been conversations I've had with some of these guys like where it's like when we collectively talk about it and there's a particular girl that like is giving that off.
(21:10):
It's like, it's a teeth clencher. Yeah, it's like it's just unattractive. Yeah. And anyway, I don't want to harp on those girls.
I think they're like summer. There's everyone's gone through their own journey growing at a different pace. But when you're really chasing after Lord and like making that your number one, those things follow and then it all falls into place at that point.
(21:32):
I love that. I love that. Okay, I do want to ask you about like the pursuit and Godly men hanging out, you know, what happens when a Godly guy sees a woman and what do you think that process should look like versus do you feel like there's some apathy with men in our culture right now?
In our generation, I feel like that's what I'm hearing a lot from women is like they're not being asked out. They're not being pursued. And then I am really curious to get the guys take on that.
(21:59):
Like, why is their hesitancy? Are they fear of rejection? Or is it grass is greener? Is there a plethora of options? What do you feel like that is for guys?
Because I know what the girls are saying, but I'm curious what the guys say in terms of like what does that pursuit looking like and why is there a discrepancy in action?
I think when it comes to pursuit, I'm very traditional and like have never really flip flopped on this. I think that as the guy as the man, you should 100% be the one pursuing.
(22:31):
And it's funny that the way like our story turned out, like because neither of us would have really done that. But I think that's just like a God having a sense of humor kind of thing at the end of the day. But like, yeah, as far as just like initial dating process, you've never gone out with this person before, and you're interested as a guy.
And it's like, yeah, make the ask happen. I think we I've talked about this so many so many times with with different guys, but it's like, okay, what are the forms of asking out that make the most sense or like come off the best.
(23:01):
And the first, in my opinion, would be like, okay, yeah, ask a mountain person like get maybe get to know him a little bit like don't. I don't think it's off limits to randomly go up to a girl.
I just think it helps your chances if they like know who you are a little bit. But again, that's not to say like, don't do it. Like if you have a like one chance to make it happen. And otherwise you'll never see the girl again or whatever.
Ask them out like what do you have to lose. That's kind of my mentality there. And then if you can't be in person, I think like, you know, do the do the call or like the voice message or whatever else there's there's other ways to do it.
(23:33):
But guys got to do it.
Okay, so with that, do you know the phrase drop a hanky.
Yes.
Thanks to Kenzie.
Did I teach you that?
Is this a me thing? Does anybody else know?
I had no idea what she meant by that.
No, it's not anything. I remember it was like a it's a Victorian era thing like these women like proper.
(23:55):
I know it's a me proper.
It's like women in their ball gowns. I actually don't know if this is all true. So somebody fact check me. But what I imagine when I first heard about drop the hanky, it's like, are you laughing at me?
No, you are.
Okay, anyways, so it's like when women would like dress up in ball gown dresses and like go to balls and events and then she would see a man that she's interested in and she'd walk by and you know, they have their little handkerchief and she would drop a hanky in front of him and then walk by and pick up the hanky in front of him.
(24:24):
So it's basically just saying like, I'm here. Do you see me or like, I'm going to show you I'm here without being like, hello, would you like a dance? You know, so it's not the total pursuit, but it's the I'm dropping this hanky to say I'm here.
So in our culture, what does that look like? Whether it's the text, the call that go up to him, like, what do you think about that? The drop the hanky?
Yeah, I think that it's in play. And I don't think it hurts. I don't want it to be. I mean, I don't like, how do I say this? I don't want it to be a crutch for guys, though, if girls like do that all the time and like that's that becomes the norm.
(25:00):
Not that it really would, but like, I mean, just in theory, like, I don't think it's the girl's job to be doing that left and right to try to get the attention to like, to, to, you know, not force to guy, but like lead the guy to ask them out because at the end of the day, I'm a strong believer that's like, because I believe this for myself.
If I'm interested in a girl, I will ask them out whether they do that for me or not. Yeah. And so that doesn't though take away from the fact that there are some guys out there that do need those little hints and like, I'm not going to like diss it or something totally.
(25:35):
It's not, it's not like bad. It's just, I think that guys, when you mentioned culture and society now, I think there is truth behind the fact that like guys have gotten like softer and like more intimidated in their head about like asking women out.
And I think that's just like, I think it's a fail. Like, I think it's like guys got to like, they've got to just take more ownership in authority and just take the leap. And like, I'm not going to use the phrase man up, but like, I will say that take the leap.
(26:09):
Like what's the worst that can happen? Like if you really are into this girl, whoever it is, and you want to take them on a date and get to know them better than just ask. And like the worst that can happen is they say no.
And then you move on. You mentioned at one point, you had said something about how rejection like hits home for a lot of guys. It totally does. I think it's too much of a crush though, like to use that as like, yeah, I'm just so afraid of getting rejected.
(26:36):
It's like, who the heck cares? Like, yeah, it's either at the end of the day, if you're like a believer, that person that you're considering asking out is either going to be your wife or she's not.
So like, let's just cut to the chase. Like ask me out. And so I always use that as confidence when asking out someone is like, great, like deny me. Like, okay, I know. Yeah, like I know that it's not the case.
(27:01):
And that's happened plenty of times, like getting denied and me being like, okay, and some of them stung more than others. I'm not going to say it never heard. And I was like emotionless and like, I could ask anyone out.
It's like, no, I still like got nervous and like was, you know, not wanting to get rejected or whatever. But it didn't stop me from asking girls out.
(27:23):
And I think too, like as a woman, it's so attractive when a man takes that quote unquote risk and asking us out because I think I just want to speak to the girls too.
Like, I think it's so it should be so attractive to a man that a woman is going to let him pursue her. And that doesn't mean that she's stone cold and she's not approachable or you know, anything like that.
(27:46):
I think the drop in the hanky can be like a smile or like I had asked you this question in the DR. I was like, David, tell me what your thoughts are on the hanky because I had learned that from you, Sarah.
And because I was asking him all these questions, picking his brain and it's so true of like, you made this great comment of like, if it's like a quick 15 minute conversation, you know, and she's being really friendly that in your eyes is dropping the handgames like, yes, okay, so it's not girls don't need to slide into the DM and get the guys attention.
(28:11):
Like, you don't need to be liking his Instagram stories to get his attention. Like, your man will have eyes for you because the Lord told him to. And I think it's just encouraging for us as women to know that there's nothing that we need to go and do.
I think women get really caught up. I know I have in the past until, you know, the last probably six months or so where I'm just like so surrendered in that in that season of my life and dating of like, I know my man's going to be like, I want to get to know this girl.
(28:36):
Again, we're not committing to marriage. We're just getting to know each other. And if it doesn't work out, doesn't work out. But I think it's just so refreshing to hear you talk about this. And for women to hold their standard high and that a man's going to pursue them initially,
especially initially, you know, and to I think it's like, I'm a very traditional girl, like I want to be like, Kenzie said, I have three brothers, a dad, I love a gentleman, I want to be pursued.
(29:01):
And I think at times that has felt hard and it's like, Oh my gosh, do I need to get a guy's attention or how do I do that? And I think I've tried that in the past. It's like, well, should I, you know, should I? Yeah, slide in his DMs.
Should I let him know I'm here? And it's like, I'm walking with the Lord and I, I trust that my husband is too. And if that's what God has for me, if God has a husband for me, then I pray that he'll put me on his heart and he will pursue me.
(29:25):
And I don't have to, like, what is that like for you? If, like, do you, if a girl's messaging you or sliding your DMs when you were single, you know, if that's happening? It's like, does that spark anything new? And you have like, Oh, this girl, or it's like, if you liked her, you would have already messaged her.
Or if you were interested, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Does that do anything?
To speak to that last part real quick, I would get like flack from guys too of, because I'm pretty quick to act. So if there's someone, if they're in the past with someone that I was interested in, I would like try to act on it very almost immediately of like, you know, not within five seconds, but, you know, within the next week, like, falling up or like, you know,
(30:05):
sliding into the DMs or like whatever. I don't think the girl to answer your question, like, I don't, I don't think they need to do that. Like I don't think it gives any sort of advantage.
For me, I think for other guys, like the reality is it does. Like, so that's tough to say. I'm not going to like say a blanket statement there.
I think some guys were where they're at, like, might need that extra boost. Like, oh, like, I think she like really is like, I think she's like showing me something here and like, even them getting a DM like wouldn't even fully let them know like, oh, this girl's into me, like, they're kind of like, maybe a little
(30:36):
clueless or like be like, like, they don't maybe have the confidence enough to know or realize like, oh, this this girl's into me. But yeah, I mean, to speak to another part of that just real quick.
This is only happened like twice for the record. But I have gotten asked out by these two girls. And it, it's just like, it's kind of like a little awkward, right? Like, it's just not, it's almost like it's not meant to be.
(31:06):
It's not meant to be that a girl asked out the guy. Like, it's just not. And like, I think that just manifested itself in the awkwardness of both these situations. I'm not an awkward person. And I, and it like, it got diffused both of them pretty quick.
But one of them, we were like at a party and she came up to me like while we were in the hallway and it was like just very all of a sudden like, Hey, like, just like, was really mean to ask you out.
(31:29):
Or I was really mean to ask you this. Like, I would love to, you know, go out and like maybe we could grab dinner and it was again, just like, no, like, I knew her for months.
And so like, yeah, if I was into it, I would have asked her out. And so it was kind of this like, I was buying time because I was like, so on the spot. And she was like, Oh, like, if you're like, it was so bad.
(31:51):
She was like, if you're, if you're scared, like you don't have like, and it was like, she got really defensive and it was like, Oh, like just super cringe.
And we ended up like diffusing and talking about some other topic, but it was nightmare status for that situation. Anyway, there was another one that was way lower key.
Same thing asking out. And then it was, I had been a little bit prepared at that point. And I was like, Hey, I just immediately was like, Hey, like, I actually just like see us as friends.
(32:19):
I did say that with the other girl too, but it was not as quick or like off the off the drop. And I wish I'd said it quicker. That's where I was going with it. But like, she, anyway, all that said, not something that the lady should do.
Yeah.
And expect like success, I guess, like, yeah.
I think too, what you realize is if I as a woman and the one pursuing or initiating, I think it's just setting a foundation for what the relationship is going to be like, and I'm like, I want to lead.
(32:46):
I want him and if I'm starting it with that, then what I have seen, because I have done that I have message guys and I've never asked a guy out, but I think I have tried to get his attention and realizing if I'm doing that one, it's probably the wrong reasons that he's even interested or yeah, it's just,
it's me already trying to lead. And I really want to, I think I've had to learn to really surrender that and just be like, I trust that if the Lord has somebody for me, then I will do my part to become the woman that he has created me to be and pray that the Lord will put me on some man's heart for when
(33:18):
then the timing is right and whatever that looks like.
Totally.
Yeah, like, I just, I think so many times women act out of fear because they get worried. Oh, it's been so long since I've had a day, maybe I need to put myself out there more.
Maybe I'm not doing the right things. And I think that's something that, you know, when the enemy creeps into my mind, it's like, Hey, Ken, it's like, what are you actually doing?
I'm like, well, I love my life. And just because I am single right now does not mean that I'm doing anything wrong with my life or I need to start extending myself in this way or open up this new area in my life in this way.
(33:49):
I'm just like, no, I'm going to keep living my life. I'm going to keep chasing the Lord as fast as I can. And exactly the way that you and Ken have met, you're going to look like what Jeff, Mr.
Mr. Hilton advised us and we've heard this, you know, and how many sermons have we heard like chase the kingdom, you'll look to your right or to your left and then you'll see your person.
And no, that actually is the reality. And so I think for women, it's like, no, you don't have to go and make yourself something that you're not because then, well, one, if you do that, you're going to attract somebody that is not meant for you because they're attracted to this person.
(34:18):
And that's because they're attracted to this false perception that you're giving them. But also too, I just don't want women to get caught up in the fact that they need to make it happen.
I just, it's so refreshing to hear your perspective and to just know that we're doing all that we need to be doing, which is loving Jesus and loving on our community and working hard in our jobs and, you know, just furthering like the progress in our hearts to prepare us for wives because we're preparing to be a wife so much as we're single.
(34:46):
And when we're in our singleness, we are not just waiting, but we're serving. I'm certain I talk about this all the time and it's just so cool to hear a guy's perspective on that of like, no, ladies, you don't have to drop the hand if you don't want to.
You shouldn't have to. And then like Sarah said, it's so brilliant. If you do that on the front end, you're going to be doing that the rest of the relationship.
Okay, so with that, what are your thoughts on dating apps?
(35:09):
That is a great question. And I guess I'll start it off by saying it totally depends. I think I'm not just a straight up like I'm not like a dating app suck. No one should use them by any means.
I think everyone at this point in life knows at least one couple that probably has gotten married, let alone is like in a really great relationship. So clearly they work for some people.
(35:34):
So I think ultimately comes down to how do you personally feel about them? What's your personal conviction? I don't think there's any blanket like for this set of people dating apps can't work.
It's like go internally, go vertical to the Lord. Like what is what does he say for for you on that? And for me, it was very, it was very clear pretty early on when I first started using the dating apps that they
(36:03):
just like to call space, they like made me like lustful. I just became all about the looks and not say looks aren't important, but like it was over dramatic size. So that's that wasn't healthy.
And there was just other things too. And I came to the conclusion after that first experience using them. I don't really like these and I just don't see myself meeting my future spouse on a dating app.
(36:29):
And that was like what years ago, I mean, when they whenever they first came out seven, eight, whatever year amount of years ago and classic human being human, like I didn't like get off them and stay off them.
I would go back and be like during times of like uncertainty of like maybe the Lord like hasn't been super clear on it for me and I would like try him again and download him and every single time.
(36:51):
It was like three more times after that first one, but like every time was a quick like month or less of like this is not for me. Like it just gives me anxiety.
Also, like I didn't have really any success. So it was it was draining and I just the Lord confirmed like this is not for you. This is not for you. This is for you. And so it was just a matter of listening to that.
(37:18):
Yeah, no, I love that. And I think that's live getting your perspective, especially as a as a godly man, what your perspective is on dating apps, because Sarah and I both have our perspective.
We've talked about it at length. Obviously, Sarah and I are single and we live in a generation where it's just accessible on our phone and I have a very strong conviction.
Now I've been on dating apps before, but I have a very strong conviction just from the Lord like that's just not how I'm going to meet my husband.
(37:43):
And a big part of that is like what you said going vertically like I really if I have an extra 15 minutes in my day, I am not desiring to look at my phone and start swiping and messaging with guys.
I want to read my Bible, go for a walk with my dog spend some time with my friends. Like I just want to be able to lean more into my life instead of feeling like I need to do that.
And it's not that it's not tempting because there are times where it's like, I could get a quick fix of validation and feel desired and and oh, someone's interested in me.
(38:13):
Someone thinks that I'm pretty whatever the case may be. But I think even more, even more so when we're not going to those lengths, I think if you have that conviction and not do that, there's a reason and maybe there's something that the Lord wants to work in you or into your point.
Like, that's not how you were going to meet your wife, you know, so with that a question for you, David, what what do you see when you look at a woman and does it matter if she has community and what her friends are like and what is she doing in her spare time?
(38:40):
Like, do you notice those things? What is what are you looking for? And I guess specifically to if there's a way you can speak to us single women, what are guys looking at in single women that are pursuing a relationship to lead to marriage?
Yep, totally. It is one of the first things that that I look at and I know my roommates and lots of guys, solid Christian guys will look at is like, Okay, number one, are they a believer? Number two, are they actively involved in their faith? And that includes a lot of things.
(39:12):
And that includes are they going to church consistently? What does their Christian community look like? And so if you don't have that, like if women don't have that or they share that they don't have that, when I've heard that in the past, it's a little it's it's a flag.
It actually is in that it's not like just like a oh, that's unfortunate. It's like a yellow flag of like, Why do you not have that? Yeah, why is that not a priority for you?
(39:38):
Because the Bible is very clear about doing life in community. And so it's a testament not only to maybe you're not in the word as much as you should be, but like you're not obeying it. And so obedience to the word is super important.
So like seeing that's one way that you see obedience in a woman's action or or guy, of course, to like in this case, as a guy seeking out a godly woman, are they obedient to the Lord in that because the reality is like, if you're not obedient to Lord and something like that,
(40:10):
that's actually like kind of simple. Some people might disagree with that. But like for me, it's been simple to find Christian community because it's like, go to church and like put yourself out there and like get some it's uncomfortable, but it's just kind of simple.
Maybe that's not blanket, but like still say that again, why that's so important is like if you can't do that, then like, how am I going to trust that like you actually like want to like not have sex before marriage or like all those really like other really important things that are going to not just affect you,
(40:39):
they're going to affect both of us. So, you know, that's really good.
I feel like we could can we could talk to David for hours and hours, but I do want to kind of wrap with this particular question of just what advice as someone who loves the Lord and you know, you're dating my best friend in the world.
And I adore you so much. What advice would you give to obviously Sarah and I are both single girls, but just single girls in general that love the Lord that maybe are feeling hidden or unseen and are desiring what you guys have and desiring a godly man.
(41:14):
What advice would you give us?
I think that just to give my like two cents on the thought of the desires that the Lord gives us, like I think both of you clearly for myself to like the Lord clearly gave me a desire to be married and I battled the thought of like, is that like really from him?
(41:35):
Is that just me?
I was like, no, like I really generally think that's from him.
And like, why would he hold out on me?
Like he's only come through.
That's good.
So I leaned on that, but then the other, the key verse that like really got hammered in was Matthew 633 and seeking first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these other things will be given to you as well.
(41:57):
And I was like, even the desire for marriage is like, even the desire for marriage.
And I was like, okay, great.
So what does that look like?
What is seeking first the kingdom of God look like?
It meant like again, surrendering this like, I got to do this or I got to stand out in this way as you were mentioning.
And it's like, wipe that all off the table.
And like, what are the things that the word says to pursue the Lord and build his kingdom?
(42:23):
And we are familiar with spiritual disciplines and like as simple as it is to say, like, I mean, there's like the, these are all critical though.
They're simple, but they're critical.
Like how often are you reading the Bible? Like, are you making that an actual priority?
Or are you just talking about it a lot?
Like for me, that was a real conviction this past summer of like, I was leading this Bible study and I wasn't actively daily in the word.
(42:47):
And I got pissed.
Like the Lord gave me like a righteous anger at myself to like clean up my act and stop making excuses and wait and stop the like I was waking up for run clubs.
And I don't even, I still to this day, six months later, don't even love running.
And here I am waking up at 515 to go on a 6am run for four miles.
(43:10):
But I can't wake up to read the Bible.
Like even though that's the most important thing to me in my life and running is like at the bottom.
Like, so that was, he really used that to convict me and it hit home.
So yeah, like what's the priority level on reading the word?
How often are you praying?
Like what does your prayer life even look like?
Are you flexing that muscle?
(43:33):
Are you pressing into other spiritual disciplines?
Like do you do you spend time in solitude and silence or similar to like a Sabbath?
Or do you again make excuses because like you're so busy?
It's like, we all know that like that's kind of BS too.
Like we, you can make time for anything that's a priority.
So where are the priorities actually at?
(43:56):
Fasting even like do like what?
What is their fasting like background look?
I don't even know. That sounds so weird, but like, I mean, have you explored fasting?
Have you read about it?
Like what are your thoughts on like, are they familiar with those are the spiritual disciplines?
Like that shows a real sign of maturity.
And like I didn't even learn about the spiritual disciplines until like a few years ago and what they truly meant.
(44:19):
So I mean, they're all just funnels into spiritual maturity.
And at any given time, any believer's like level of execution on any of those things is always like fluctuating.
But like, I mean, in general, like, is there consistency there?
Like that's the that's one of the biggest things.
That's like my keyword when it comes to pursuing a woman.
(44:41):
Like when people ask that classic question, like, what do you look for?
What's like the most important thing thing you look for in a woman?
It's like, it's consistent because you can apply it to so much.
Like, are they consistent in their relationship with the Lord?
Like, do they press in and then it can also relate to like actual personality and like your relationship itself?
And do they like give you 100% of their like the real self or do they fake it?
(45:02):
Like, what I, you know, I can go on forever for that.
But yeah,
No, I love that.
I feel like it's just so good for us women to hear that like be consistent in your life,
in your pursuit of Jesus, in how you shop for your work and your family and your friends.
And like you said, Matthew 633, I will be added to you like seek versus kingdom.
And so ladies spoken from David Taylor, it's just, it's so powerful, at least for me.
(45:26):
And I know if it's powerful me for me, I know it's powerful for others to hear just your, your take on it and how you've pursued Kena.
And just as someone who has been a bystander in this entire love story and will continue to be a part of it.
It's just been one of the greatest gifts.
My family actually did a dinner right before Christmas.
And I just asked my family, like what was the best thing kind of what it got teach you wins and losses of the year.
(45:52):
And then I said, what are you most excited about in 2025?
And my family asked me in returning.
I was like, honestly, David and Kena, like, I can't wait.
It's just been so amazing.
So thank you for being here with us and sharing your story and just being you.
Just, I love you and I adore you and I'm just excited and it's been such a gift to have you here.
(46:15):
Yes. So fun to hear more about who you are and just the encouragement for us as single women who are pursuing the Lord,
who really, really deeply desire to be married, but God is doing something else right now.
And so for us to even just hear what it looks like from a brother in Christ to share that to us as a gift.
So thank you.
Absolutely. Thanks for having me on. This is so fun.
(46:38):
So fun.
And remember, even if he is still good.
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