February 11, 2025 • 42 mins
On this week’s episode of The Even If Podcast, Sarah and Kenzie talk about their thoughts on Valentine’s Day, share some past v-day stories, and discuss the topic of LOVE. What is love? What does the Bible say about love? How did we learn about love? It’s all in this week’s convo. Enjoy this week’s episode and remember, even if, He is still good.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome back to the Even If podcast. I'm Sarah.
(00:05):
And I'm Kenzie. And today's episode is,
Even If You Hate Valentine's Day, there's a lot to be said about love.
Yeah, there is. Yeah, there is.
Okay, you know, gap session, we've got a yappin' chat.
Tell me about your week. Yeah, we got a yappin' chit chat.
Yappin' and chit chat. Yappin' and chit chat.
(00:26):
Y'all know this in the last week's episode where it was all about the yappin' and chit chat.
Yappin' and chit chat. Okay, tell me how you are, how your week was.
Well, I'll start by saying, clearly my voice sounds weird and you sound hot.
Sound like a change smoker. You sound hot.
I just got over the flu. And as you know, because you guys,
sweet Kenzie Todd, brings soup and crackers to my front door.
(00:50):
When I was sick, you're going to be the best wife.
Your husband is so lucky. I love you.
Oh my gosh, y'all. I had the flu and I was just texting her, sending her voice memos, like talking about the podcast.
She's like, you sound so bad. I was like, I'm so sick.
Which is crazy. And I've been so humbled because I used to always brag about never getting sick.
(01:12):
And I have gotten sick. I've had the flu twice this year.
My first one in my whole entire life. I've never had strep.
You've never really? Never.
You never got COVID? No. Wow.
And then I got the flu twice this year and it got me bad and I'm humbled because I thought sickness was a mindset.
Oh, you got taken out.
Not really. I don't really mean that because I know sickness is truly real.
(01:36):
But I mean, in certain situations, it is like you can push through, but the flu you cannot.
I cannot. So yeah, it's been a rough week. I was out, but I'm better.
I'm just like still not sounding great. So sorry.
My voice is off. I think you sound great. I love a nice raspy voice. You know, thanks girl.
I think you sound great. How's your week? You've had some, you've had some good news.
I've had some really good news. My knee is not torn. Hallelujah.
(02:00):
Literally praise the Lord. No, praise the Lord.
And I was actually talking to my mentor today because she was like, you like, what do you think?
Do you think this was a miracle? Like, do you think God healed you or do you think like it just was never torn?
I was like, no, I know God healed me because I have torn my knee.
I know the feeling. I couldn't even stand on one leg. It felt loose.
The brim was off, which is usually what happens. Like I was just like stumbling all the time.
(02:22):
And it would wake me up in the middle of the night. Like it was throbbing. It was so painful.
I'm, I have a high-pain tolerance too. And then literally like four or five days ago, I was like, wow, my knee.
It doesn't hurt. This is so weird. And then I went into my MRI feeling like I really feel like maybe it's not torn.
But then you also had people like literally like people like me and pray for me. Yeah.
(02:43):
Cause I, I was so, I mean, we talked about this last episode. I was so, it just took me out like mentally too.
I was just so discouraged by this because my part of my livelihood is my job.
It's like, here is my body. And so that's part of why I haven't skied in 10 years because I was, I am too scared to get hurt.
I won't play. I love playing sports. I won't play sports because I'm like, can't get hurt cause I need to be on the bike cause my business,
(03:07):
you know, big part of my business is me and like I'm the face of my own brand. And so I was so anxious.
And I asked, I very rarely asked people to pray for me. I've never fully understood until the last little while.
Honestly, the Lord's like doing a work in me and my heart about prayer specifically and just the power of prayer.
(03:31):
And I think I've taken prayer for granted. And so anyways, yeah, I asked people to pray for me.
I was like, I really needed to pray for my knee. Like I'm anxious. I'm worried. And I had a lot of people pray for me.
And the fact that it just like the pain went away and it wasn't even like, not only was it not torn,
it wasn't partially torn, it wasn't stretched, which is common. You can strain or stretch your ligaments,
(03:54):
especially if you've done it before. And yeah, literally, and I have not had pain since Tuesday.
No way. Yeah, last Tuesday. That's a miracle. Yeah, it's a miracle. I'm like, I was,
and the surgeon himself called me eight hours after my MRI was taken, which is also unheard of.
Like the fact why what's normal? Well, usually you don't get your results that quickly and you don't have like the surgeon himself,
(04:16):
the orthopedic that calls you and wants to talk about your results. Okay. And so when I saw the phone rang,
I my neck immediately got like a red rash on my neck. I was like, Oh my gosh, like this is here's the news, here's the news.
And he was like, everything looks really good. Like your knee looks great. Not a ligament is torn and everything.
You have a little cartilage buildup over your kneecap. That's common after you've been an athlete, but it's a miracle.
(04:40):
And I was like, I got a question. I was like, are you sure? Like, are we sure it's not stretch or partially torn?
Like, and he's like, no, you're, you're good. You can, I can send you some structured rehab.
I can send you PT or you can do it on your own. I was like, I'll do it on my own. So yeah, I had, it was great.
So amazing. It's been a great February for me.
January. Oh my goodness.
(05:04):
It's February. It's February. Okay. So Valentine's Day.
It's coming up. How do you, how do you feel about Valentine's Day? Okay.
I'm really curious to hear what you think too, because we haven't talked about this. No, we haven't, but I love Valentine's Day.
Do you? Yes. I love it. I do. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah.
Okay. I've been talking to so many people and everybody thinks it's a hyped up holiday. Everybody thinks it's such a homeric holiday, which I get it.
(05:28):
Which I think it is a homeric holiday. Yes, it is. And then like people constantly saying that there doesn't need to be one day.
You should be loving your spouse like this every day. I'm like, yes, I agree. But also, I love Valentine's Day.
I have a lot of thoughts on Valentine's Day. My thing is, well, first of all, my mom is the most generous person on the planet.
(05:49):
And growing up, she always would put on Valentine's Day. Well, honestly, just growing up, she always put a note in my lunch pail.
Lunch pail? My lunch pail? Oh, yeah. Oh, is that a Canadian thing? That's cute. Oh my gosh. Is that a lunch box?
Lunch box. No, I call it. That's so funny that that just came out like that. That's the cutest. I don't think it's actually a pail.
(06:10):
What's a pail? Well, no, I think it's just in my lunch box, but we call it lunch pails. Oh my gosh. Why? That's so cute.
You know how you say things? You're like, I haven't said that since I was a kid. But yeah, it's a lunch pail. So she wouldn't have been like a bucket.
Oh, it was kind of like, you know, every, I love school supply shopping and every year we got a new lunch pail.
That's cute. But she would always write us a note every day in our lunch pails. As long as she was back in our lunch, which stopped when I think I was like 12th.
(06:37):
Then she would put like random little like she put a tiny baby in there every once in a while or whatever. But Valentine's Day, she would always make like a special lunch for us.
And I just did a really good job about loving us. And I was raised, thankfully, the Lord gave me a mom that really allowed for me to, and I think this is probably very common for a lot of women,
but she just never put a lot of emphasis ever on my relationship status. So I never felt like Valentine's Day was like this exclusive for couples only to enjoy.
(07:05):
And so I just love Valentine's Day because I think it's a day to love your people really well. And then when you're married or you do have a significant other, great.
Another opportunity to like go celebrate. Okay, I wonder if it stems a lot from childhood. Yeah, maybe it does.
Like what people's thoughts are on it or if it's like hurt in relationships. But I don't know. I don't know.
(07:26):
I mean, I guess I do know a lot of people also who are married and just kind of think it's a waste. But I'm like, I want to be married and still celebrate.
And I don't mean to take me to dinner and get dressed up. Like absolutely not. I don't even mean you have to buy me flowers.
But like literally a fun day to write a handwritten letter and tell each other why you love each other. And sure, if you want to do that in March and April too.
Yes, I'm not something like I think you should be doing that year round all the time. Yes. But I also think it's a fun. It's a holiday.
(07:50):
It's something to get you through February. I agree. But yeah, I mean, I'm the same. I think my dad always would get my mom and me roses and chocolates.
And balloons like he was sweet. All the things right. And I just think I know he loves me all the time and he'll tell me other times too.
But I think to have a day to do that, it's just special. It's great. I agree. I like it. I really I like it too.
(08:18):
And I don't think much like if I don't have anything to do on a Valentine's Day, I'm like, okay, it's another day, but I'm going to like celebrate the people that I love.
And then when I I mean, I've had Valentine I've had boyfriends on Valentine's Day, which is going to bring me to my next question because we were laughing about this earlier.
But talking about Valentine's Day stories stories about Valentine's Day. Okay, yes, we were talking about this and I literally wrote down some because I was trying to think of like, do I have good Valentine's Day stories.
(08:45):
And I'm like, okay, I have one where a guy broke up with me the day before Valentine's Day, only to call me the next day and be like, oh, it's Valentine's Day. I didn't mean that. I'm sorry. Get back together.
And like we got back together and like we're together for like months. Oh boy. And I just was like, that was a weird weird weird weird.
My sister-in-law's and I have done like Gallantines things before on Valentine's Day, which is so fun because we're literally all married to my brothers, but I'm like, spend my time with me.
(09:14):
Yeah. And they're so sweet. And they have there was one year I was living in East Nashville and I lived next to this family and they had like nine kids and I was really close with three of the kids.
And so I took them all out for pizza and I was like, you have to wear a red or pink. So fun. And we're going to get pizza. And that was so fun.
I love that one. One time I remember visiting my grandpa in the retirement home and hanging out with old people and playing like old people Valentine's Day games.
(09:41):
One of my very, very favorite Valentine's memories though is every year around Valentine's Day is night to shine. Do you know what night to shine is?
No. What is that? It's a prom for special needs. Okay. I've heard of this. And so the first time I ever did it was in Haiti and it was incredible.
It's hosted by the Tim Tebow Foundation in Tim Tebow was fair. And it was. Yeah. And it was literally, I think the closest I've ever been to heaven.
(10:05):
Yeah, I'm sure. Because I mean, there's Tim Tebow and a bunch of like other NFL players. So NFL players are there. People who are in Haiti that I've never met in my life.
Black, white, brown, every color, like paralyzed, walking, athletic, you know, just like from every race to every status to every health, like we're all in the same building.
(10:26):
And it's just like all celebrating. Wow. And it's just truly like one of the most incredible things. And now they're national. They're in 50 night to shine is in 50 countries and is in every state.
And so that's so cool. You did that in Haiti. Like that's such a fun way to spend Valentine's Day. But yeah, like one time I ran a 5K, the national hot chocolate.
(10:47):
Oh, is that still a thing? Yeah. Is it really? Yeah, yeah. I have some friends running it. Not that I'm interested because I don't like to run, but.
But you can. You can. I wanted to. Yeah, yeah, 5K. You can do. You can do. But honestly, like nothing. I don't have any Valentine's days that are like what you would typically think of like all of those are fun things.
Like I remember one time I even did a photo shoot for this guy. I was super into and he like he like had a brand and he needed models for the photo shoot. It was on Valentine's Day.
(11:14):
And I was like, are you asking me to be your Valentine? Is there a hidden message? But we have plans. Sure. I'll come.
Oh my God. But no, I never like do not take me out to dinner on Valentine's Day. Like, I just like that sounds like chaos. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's also really busy at the restaurants.
It's like the busiest traffic. I think it's like a statistic where it's like the at least when I lived in LA, you just knew not to get on the free. You need not to get go out if you didn't have dinner plans or really just not to because it was like traffic.
(11:45):
It's the worst day of traffic in LA. It was Valentine's Day. Interesting. Yeah. See, I have no desire to go on the actual day because I just like it's going to be busy. Yeah.
But I just think the intentionality is so sweet. I don't know. Okay. What was your list?
Well, I got broken up too the day before Valentine's Day. What's wrong with me? I don't know. But what's funny is they scared. Maybe they're scared of Valentine's Day.
(12:11):
Yeah, I don't honestly, this guy was so I'm going to be kind. I don't even think you realize Valentine's Day was the next day and I did not see that breakup coming. Although Lord, thank you.
Never talked to him again. Just broke up with me, came over to my apartment, broke up with me. I was like, felt very blindsided.
Years ago, though. But then I was like, okay. And then that was it. So that's that's a story I can remember.
(12:38):
I don't know if I can remember any. I don't really have anything like super memorable. Like I do know my girlfriends and I would always like if we were single, we would get together and do something fun or I'd spend time with my family.
I think I don't have a lot of memorable ones because for me, it's just it's a special day, but it's not like I'm not defined by this day with my relationship status situation.
(13:04):
I've spent Valentine's days with ex-boyfriends before, but obviously none of those were very memorable either. I'm sure they were at the time, but you know, I don't know, it doesn't really nothing really sticks out to me.
But I am going to be spending Valentine's Day with my girlfriends in Austin. So a bunch of us are going to get together and hang out on Friday night, which will be so sweet because I'm going to go to Austin this weekend.
(13:25):
So yes, I'm excited about that. That will probably be my most memorable Valentine's Day. Yeah, there you go. It's coming. It's coming. It's in a few days. So good. So yeah, I'm excited.
Nothing. Nothing. Just like a broken up. 2025. This is the first memorable one. Maybe you just I should hopefully have another niece. Whoa. By then. Yeah. Jonathan and Slayne. Dang. They should be having their first baby. First baby.
(13:48):
I am so excited. This is number eight. Nine. It will be my ninth niece or nephew. Wow. Okay, so in lieu of it be Valentine's Day, we really just want to talk about what the Bible says about love and just kind of talk through verses that Sarah and I both have on our hearts.
So I just want to ask you, Sarah, and let's talk about this because we really want to dive into scripture. Obviously, like we're here to share our hearts and love on you guys, but we really want to also just do an episode where we're like, let's get in the word and what does the word say about love and just hope it encourages you all.
(14:21):
So what does the Bible say about love, Sarah?
Okay, well, I think the whole entire Bible is love. Yeah, baby. You know, like I think it is truly a love letter to us. And if I think I have heard that my whole life and didn't really know what that meant. And it wasn't till last year was the first time in my life.
(14:42):
I was 32. First time in my life that I've ever read through the Bible from Wow, cover to cover. It's amazing. And I think I have realized how it is a seamless story.
And this whole thing is about love, like the story of the Old Testament and then how everybody was, you know, we're searching for this Messiah, the Savior. And then finally he's here. He's born. And then his miracles, stories, teachings, death and resurrection, all the way to Revelation.
(15:08):
It's like this whole entire book is the sweetest, most beautiful love story we will ever have. Yeah. So it's hard to narrow it down when we say like, what does the Bible say about love?
But I did, I know that you and I picked out some verses that we want to talk about today. I picked out Romans 5, 8, but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
(15:31):
Love that. And I think what's so powerful about that is it's saying that God shows his love for us while we were still sinners.
Like we didn't do anything to deserve his love. We were sinners, which means we were actually not living right, doing things that he hates. And he still died for us.
(15:58):
Yeah. Yeah.
It's hard to wrap your mind around honestly.
It is. It's a verse like that that I could read over and over and break down and like continually need to break down to like take in the depth of that. But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Yeah.
Like sinners, we hated him. Like that means we hated him if we weren't walking with him. We weren't, we weren't choosing him and he still died for us. Like that is sacrificial love.
(16:28):
Sacrificial love. Yeah.
That's exactly it. And there's a book I read in my Bible study last fall and there's a whole chapter. I don't know if we've ever talked about this, but there's a whole chapter and the chapter alone is just getting the book is worth getting the book for.
But it basically talks about a doctor literally walks you through the crucifixion of Jesus and what happened to him. You know, when they put the like down to the beating down to the thorn what muscles what bones broke what muscles where the art like the pain.
(16:58):
And it makes you cry. Like it's actually so incredibly horrific to read. I had never read anything like that before where you're like scientifically reading from a doctor's point of view what happened to him on the cross and you're thinking like this.
This is what I'm worth. I'm worth somebody going through this kind of pain. Wow.
(17:20):
And and it completely paints the picture. It's almost like watching, you know, Passion of the Christ. Yeah. But reading it and like the details and like the sign it was it's gory.
It's like you you just cannot imagine anything like that. And I love this verse because it truly just demonstrates like a sacrifice and that love is completely sacrificial in every way.
(17:43):
And it's like nothing that we can do. Yeah, there's nothing that we can do to deserve it. Or to, yeah, you know, I struggle with that a lot in my own personal journey of I like to achieve and I am produce and it's been it's been something that I've had to break in my own walk of just like can see there's
(18:06):
nothing that you have to do to earn it. And it's been it's been a reckoning in my own heart to like make sure that I know that there's nothing that I will do or ever do that will make God not love me, which even saying it that way it's like because that is so often what the
world says that we have to do something to earn something or like we need to earn love in relationships. I think you and I both have past trauma of that like having to do something or having to earn it or having to be good enough for it.
(18:41):
And it's like that's not what God says. No, no.
And I think it's hard to believe in. If you've never experienced that in the human form. So you have it's like it's hard to it's actually my life coach that told me that today.
She's like, you're holding on which is part of what I love about being able to see if we're talking romantic. I think this applies to even friendship love to but I'm able to watch it through certain people in my life.
(19:08):
I'm like, I know it exists because I'm watching that. But when you've never experienced it, it's a lot harder to hold out on hope for that. And so I think that's why you you have to go to what the word says and what God says.
And that because if you've never had it and you felt like you've had to earn it or you've been told that you have to earn it and that's not love and that's not love. Yeah, you know, and how do you reframe and break all those patterns to know that there's nothing that you need to do to earn or then to once you do get the love
(19:37):
like now to upkeep the love make sure that he stays make sure that he wants me still make sure that he's this I mean, yeah, I'm not even gonna go down on that tangent of being with somebody that that would tell me even how I dressed or how I looked was I needed to have a certain look
and do these things and so yeah, I think I think just being able to reconcile that and especially as you know, speaking to women, it's and as women, we are so loved by our father.
(20:01):
And there's there's literally nothing we can do to earn it. It's a hard thing to it's a genuinely hard thing to wrap your brain around. Yeah. But if you live from that place, you you can tell you can tell the you can tell the people that live knowing how much they believe that God says
what's it God says about the mystery and that they love that he loves them. Yeah, it's like an over I mean, it is like overflowing overflowing. Do you think that the Bible standard for love is the same as the world? Not at all. Yeah, no, not not even close.
(20:32):
And I mean, there's been so many times where I've been asked, like, Well, why are you remaining pure until you get married? And I'm like, And, you know, they they might know part of my past or why you're making this decision now and and it's really hard for them to comprehend why I have these answers.
And well, why, you know, people even like dropping off soup for you. It's like, that's how that's just what you do. You just love your friends the way that you like that's love. And a lot of people don't under have a hard time accepting love like that.
(21:07):
So by the world standards, it's it's conditioned. It's something that you have to prove it's it comes and goes it's a feeling.
Love is a feeling. You know, we fell out. How many times you hear we just fell out of love. Yeah, you know, I just my heart changed. It's like, What? Yes, I think that's it's just really it's really scary when the when you're looking to the world for anything, let alone like trying to define what what love is and what love means.
(21:41):
Yeah, I know you probably feel the exact same way. Like, that question like, Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's just it's such a good question. What's like what's what?
First Corinthians, first Corinthians 13. Yeah, four. Yeah, I love it. The title of mine, like the section. I don't know what yours says. Mine says the way of love.
Does it love is indispensable? What version do you have? I have NIV. Okay, I have ESP. Love ESP to okay. Yeah, I used to have an IV and I just switched to ESP. I just switched to NIV.
(22:12):
Oh, this is crazy. No, I just got this. I got my very first study Bible.
Because kind of David bought Kenna one. Yeah. And then I saw it and I was like, wait, I need to get my hands on one of these. So I bought myself one and it's been incredible. Yeah, I got the ESP because this is a study and a note taking one.
(22:34):
And I know your Bible is so beautiful. Watercolor watercolor is like out of a movie. My book, my Bible is out of a movie. Yeah, it looks like it should be in. I don't know why I said but it is.
It's like a love story. It's a magazine. Magazine. Did you mean movie? I think I meant movie, but I'm not sure why I said that. Oh, no, I love it. It's like out of a magazine. It should be. No, it could be a movie. It could be in a movie.
(22:57):
Oh, I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. It's beautiful. Thanks, girl. You know, I got you. Your Bible's cute. Thanks. Okay, first Corinthians 13. You want to read it? First one. Yeah, I got Corinthians.
Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others. It is not self seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs.
(23:25):
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
That is biblical love. That's biblical love. It makes you get literally when I read it, I'm like, it makes me take a deep breath like because it's just so it's just so profound and I find myself honestly coming to this first for the people that are hard to love in my life.
(23:55):
Because I feel guilty that I'm, it's hard for me to love them and I had a mentor tell me once and she reminds me this, Kinsey, are you patient? Are you kind? Is it long suffering? Those are answers that are yes. And it's like, then you love, you love that person.
I'm specifically talking about a family member but yeah, it just, it makes you, it makes me take deep breaths because it's also the love that I know the Lord has for you and I one day and the love that he's given me in friendships as of now.
(24:29):
You know, it's just so, it's so beautiful.
Well, I think it's even that because I think this verse is often read at weddings, right? Or it's red thinking about like, oh, my husband, he's, you know, thinking about these things for that I want to be for him and he's going to be for me and it's like, no, this is just how we're called to love, to love.
But how many people do you feel like are in your life?
(24:51):
Well, probably quite a few because you're like this, but it's hard to meet people or have people in your life that love you like this, you know, that can, can go to the Bible and go, okay, like go to this verse and to not have envy, to not boast, to be patient, to be kind, to not be easily angered.
I mean, that one, like, to not keep records if wrong, like, there's been conversations I've had with friends and they will keep a record. I'm like, hang on a second.
(25:20):
And like, and so, yeah, I think it's one of those things that can be, it's just such a convicting verse.
Yeah.
And how I, how I even act in my own life.
Oh, for sure.
You know, I think it's good for us to look at ourselves of, yeah, like, am I being envious of my boastful? I mean, even literally the first part, first, first Corinthians 13 for love is patient.
(25:46):
Am I always patient?
Absolutely not.
I mean, you know, and it's like, but this is the, this is why this book is so like special and so needed is because we need to come back to it and be reminded of these are the things and like, we know that God is love.
And because God is love, and then God lives in us, we are able to be this way with him.
(26:09):
Exactly.
And when I'm walking with him and when I'm not like, I mean, I'm irritable. I'm jealous. I'm totally not rejoicing.
And your inputs, like they have to be a lot more frequent and a lot stronger than your output.
So it's like, for me, it's, and it's for you two, we're both like this.
We get up really early and we read our Bibles in the morning and it's not perfect and sometimes mine's rushed because I'm running out the door and you're, you know, I got to run to work.
(26:33):
But I notice a massive difference in my day if I just get up and I spend five minutes versus spending 25 minutes and just reading and having it make sure that it, my inputs are stronger and larger.
Then my output, otherwise I'm going to run dry and I have nothing to give.
So yeah, I think something too about walking with the Lord is we are called to love everyone.
(27:02):
And that's just not like those who are easy to love.
It's our enemies.
Yeah, literally, we're supposed to love our enemies.
Yeah, pray for our enemies.
Yeah.
You know, love your neighbor.
There's a few verses that talk about this like John 15 12 through 13 says this is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you greater love has no one than this.
(27:27):
That's someone laid down his life for his friends.
And just thinking about, I mean, that's like that verse in Romans too, just that the love that would lay down his life for everybody.
Yeah.
And that's greater love is that and then proverb 1717 says a friend loves at all times and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
(27:50):
Thinking about like friend friendship love and the importance of that.
Mark 12 31 says, Jesus says, you shall love your neighbor as yourself.
There's no other commandment greater than these.
And I think that's that one specifically that verse is so that's one of those two that you can just pick apart.
(28:12):
Yeah, you shall love your neighbor as yourself.
Because what does that mean to love your neighbor as yourself?
Like, how do you love yourself?
Yeah, it's true.
And don't you find that the people that don't really love themselves are the ones that are unhappy.
And those are the ones like hurt people hurt people.
Right.
So I think, so how do you love yourself?
What does self love me?
Like, how do we know how to love ourselves?
(28:33):
I think it's, I think a lot of it is accepting the love of God.
I feel like if you don't accept or believe what God says about you is true, it's going to be impossible for you to actually understand your worth.
Yeah.
And if you don't understand your worth, you're going to settle.
You're going to treat your body terribly.
You're going to treat your heart terribly.
You're going to accept whatever kind of love you can find.
(28:55):
You're going to stay in the job that you hate because you don't think you're worthy of taking a risk and jumping and trying something else.
So I think a lot of self love comes from what your view of God is and whether you can get on board with the fact that he loves you and died for you.
Yeah.
You know, I feel like you can't, you can't pour out what you don't have.
(29:18):
Yeah.
So if we're not being filled by true love and what is true love God, right?
Yep.
It's if we're not being filled by true love, then we can't pour that out.
Yeah.
How did you learn how to love like as a kid, like, Mike, I'm trying to ask this question, like just off the cuff here, but I know I've obviously not your parents, love your parents, know your family.
(29:47):
You had an incredible example.
And, you know, how did you, how did you look to understand and believe that God loves you?
That's a great question.
What was that journey like for you?
That's a great question.
Like, I don't feel like there's been a time in my life where I haven't felt loved by my family at least, you know, by my parents, like I think from a young age, I knew they loved me.
(30:16):
And I think I grew up in a Christian household.
They would talk about Jesus.
I knew Jesus loved me.
You know, Jesus loves me this I know.
It's like, you know, one of the first little songs you learn as a kid.
And I think just maybe being raised in the church knew that, heard that, but I don't know that it was always, I mean, I think that's part of sanctification.
(30:40):
Yeah.
Oh, that's a good answer.
Yeah.
Walking with the Lord is that I'm still learning it.
Like, I do I doubt him?
Yes.
Still.
Do I question if he sees me still?
Yes.
Yeah.
Do I wonder if he's forgotten about me?
Yes.
But do I also deep down in my heart know that he loves me?
Yes.
Yeah.
(31:01):
You know, and I think part of that is just the journey because I mean, yeah, there have
been times where like, because of what's happened to me, I'm like, does God actually like, how come God's love me?
Like, does he really love me or why would that have happened to me?
Yeah.
Or if he loves me, wouldn't I have been married by now?
Yeah.
Or, you know, like, we can get to those places.
Totally.
But I think it's again, bringing us back to the word.
(31:22):
Yep.
Okay.
That's not what love is.
Yeah.
Because love doesn't mean you get your way.
Love doesn't mean you get to be married young.
Love doesn't mean, you know, like, that's not love.
No.
And I think that's why we have to bring it back to what does the Bible say about love?
And that's, and then that is the process of sanctification and being more like him.
(31:42):
And when we become more like him, I think we can love ourselves because we know that
he has created us.
And then when it goes back to that verse in Mark, you shall love your neighbor as yourself.
And then that is accepting God's love for us and being able to share that love with others.
Yeah.
I love that.
Was that a jib?
(32:02):
Jibber jabber?
I knew you were going to say, is that a jabber jabber?
No, that was that was eloquent and perfect.
Why did you know I was going to say that?
Because I know you say jabber jabber.
Yeah, you've taught me some Southern words before.
I don't think you've said jabber jabber on the podcast, but I know that you have said
jabber jabber before because you're teaching me words.
You're teaching me Southern words and I'm teaching you Northern Canadian words like
(32:25):
a lunch pill lunch.
I don't have to say with an accent.
A lunch pill lunch pill.
Wait, that's about about about I'm going to about to get my lunch.
Not one thing I can't do is accent.
But you got that.
I see Southern draw.
I can't either.
But I just that's funny.
(32:47):
I mean, I'm like, I'm just going to say jabber jabber.
Yeah.
You got any more jabber jabber?
I got some jabber jabber.
No, I love you.
I love your answer.
I think because I think we both come we both love the Lord so much and we both come from
such different families.
Yeah.
So I think it's only about what that's like for you.
For me, so I learned a lot about love through my obviously my mom.
(33:11):
She's my favorite person and she loves people so well.
And I watched her intentionality and her care and her kindness and all that.
And then biblical love.
I really learned.
I mean, the Lord placed me since I was little in the hands of people who showed that to
me.
And then when I became a believer and I'm I'm pretty I'm not super stubborn now, but
(33:34):
I used to be very stubborn and it took me like 10 times for you to tell me to do something.
Like I was always the goody tissue girl.
Like I got good grades and never had a curfew because I didn't need one kind of thing.
But when it came to like rationalizing why people were nice to me, I couldn't quite understand
it.
But when I met believers, I was like, there's something so different about the way that
(33:56):
they live and the way that they treat me.
And there was always I always believed in God since I was little, but the relational
peace and and the acting that out wasn't really until my college years and then after that.
So I just feel like I learned about God's love through people and that's a big part
of why I love to love people because I would not have known about God in that way.
(34:24):
If it weren't for, you know, and there's people I still think about from college that just
were just I mean, huge vessels that put me where I am.
So I just feel like I got to watch and experience and question and be like, why is this person
doing this for me?
This is so wild.
And then I feel like it's that pay it forward kind of thing now where I'm just like, people
(34:48):
are asking me about God and asking me and I'm like, oh my gosh, yeah, I remember when
I was in your shoes.
And so to be able to to be an example and it's just so easy now because I'm filled with
the Holy Spirit and he's my he's my input.
But it was through people.
Yeah, I had a great family, but just not didn't know about the word of God until way later
(35:09):
in life.
So I love that.
Yeah.
That's really cool.
Well, it's cool how he uses, you know, talks about other believers being like the hands
and feet and totally uses other people when like to have his will be done.
Yeah.
(35:30):
For people to meet the right people and plant seeds and grow and how that's all just been
orchestrated.
Mm hmm.
It's wild.
It's so wild.
And I was reading, I think it was last week, I'm reading Draw the Circle.
I know I mentioned that, but I think it was maybe last week or two weeks ago.
But just how there was this example of this grandmother that was praying for, I think she
(35:50):
had like 12 kids or something and she wanted all them to love the Lord.
And I think over time there was like one final one that came to the Lord when he was like
90 on his deathbed.
But it was like way after his mom had passed away.
And so it's just like all these, these prayers that generation might not be seen for generations,
but it's that planting of the seed.
(36:10):
And my grandmother was not a believer until kind of the last 15 years of her life.
And then all she did was pray for everyone that she loved.
And I really think that I came to know the Lord through my grandmother's prayers.
Wow.
And that being fulfilled, she died.
Oh gosh, I don't know about six or seven years ago.
Yeah, she'd been praying for me to know the Lord for a long time.
(36:35):
And we were never super, super close just because she lived in the States and we lived
in Canada, but it's wild.
Yeah.
The seeds that you can plant.
Yeah.
So that's cool.
I know it's really cool.
And then on that topic, kind of a little bit of a segue, but when Sarah and I were talking
about verses, one of the things that I come to a lot, there's nothing that we lack.
(36:58):
And I go back to that verse of like, for the Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
And it's Psalm 23.
And when you think about it, and I don't know who might be listening and you're getting
prepped for Valentine's Day and the hallmark part of it being a holiday that makes you
feel like, oh, I'm single.
I don't have another, another Valentine's goes by and I don't have a significant other.
(37:23):
I just really pray and hope that whoever is listening and needs to hear this, it's like
there's nothing that, there's nothing that you lack when you have the Lord.
Like it, and it's, it's hard to hear when of course Sarah and I have our own stuff and
insecurities and things that we deal with that we've shared about on this podcast, some things
(37:46):
that we just shared between her and I, but we're not sitting here on our high horse being
like, oh, it's fine.
We're single and we're still fine that we don't have a significant other.
All you need is Jesus, but truly like through our stories, we've gotten to a point where
it actually is true and you can't get here.
And I remember somebody stopped me and someone came to my class because she had heard our
(38:07):
podcast and she stopped me after class and she was like, I just want to say that your
podcast like means everything.
I look forward to it every weekend and it's just given me so much hope and the way that
you guys talk about singleness like I'm 29 and I just can't really imagine getting there,
but I'm praying that I can view singleness the way that you guys do.
And I just looked at her and said, you absolutely will just keep at it.
(38:28):
Like it's all, it's a long road.
It's hard.
It's not like we got here and we're like, yeah, we lack nothing because we have the Lord,
but it's actually true.
We lack nothing.
We have the Lord.
Yeah.
You know, I love that verse.
It just comes back to like, I like nothing.
Yes.
And the first part, the Lord is my shepherd.
The Lord is my shepherd.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like nothing where the Lord is my shepherd.
I shall not want and what is needing, you know, like what I don't want anything.
(38:51):
Like I don't, yeah, I have everything I could ever need.
Exactly.
Even when you don't have like, we've talked about that episode where the chapter that
I wanted to skip like kind of failure and all of those things, even when I, there's
things that I'm like, yeah, I would love to, you know, be nice to make more money or it
would be nice.
But it's like my definition, I was telling Sarah this earlier, like my definition of
(39:13):
success has changed so much over the years, especially now where, yes, I'm an entrepreneur.
Yes.
I love to work hard.
my visions and my goals have shifted.
And the more that I know God,
the more that I feel like he's shifting those.
And so, yeah, it's just like your needs.
One of the prayers that I've had is that my needs
(39:34):
and my wants are in alignment.
That I need what I want and I want what I need.
And yeah, you just, it's like a freedom.
You can't even, like you can't put the freedom
that you and I feel into words.
It's like it must be experienced,
but it's such a special place to be.
When you know God's love and you feel,
(39:57):
and you know the depth of his love,
I just think everything else has more depth.
Like, that's so good.
You have eyes to see brokenness
and you have eyes to see grace
and you have strength for purity.
You have ears to hear unheard.
You have eyes to see the unseen.
(40:19):
You have hands more willing to help.
It's like when you're a new creation in Christ
and it's like you have new everything.
And I feel like I remember when I got my,
one of my first Bible that like I was able to pick out.
I remember my dad and I went to a life way
and got like my name on it and everything.
And when a quote I wrote at the very beginning of it
(40:42):
was break my heart for what breaks yours.
And I just thought like,
I think that's part of the sanctification process
is when we know more about love,
our heart is broken in ways that break his.
And we love in ways that he loves.
(41:02):
And like there are things that I know I have done,
not any part of who Sarah Hilton is,
like as only a result of the Lord's love through me
because my flesh would not want to love that person.
Yeah, that's good.
For what they did to me or my flesh would not want to
care to reconcile because that's not what my flesh would want.
But the Lord's love through me
(41:24):
has helped me heal those things or mend those things
or love, forgive, forget, move on.
Wow, I love that.
It's so good.
It is so true.
He can make us do the things that we couldn't even imagine.
I can so relate to that, that peace for sure.
I've just like, that's just all the Lord.
That's not me.
(41:45):
That's not me.
Well, that's all we have for today.
And happy Valentine's Day.
And honestly, you guys,
if you don't have plans on Friday night,
go make plans with somebody that you love.
It's Valentine's Day on a Friday.
Yeah.
Oh.
Right?
Yeah, it's this Friday.
I don't have dates, but I have a girl hang,
(42:07):
which I'm really excited about.
Oh yeah, you're gonna be an Austin for it.
I'll be an Austin.
That'll be fun.
So just go and enjoy your day
or sit home, watch a movie and enjoy that
because life changes quick.
You just never know when God's gonna bring
someone that you can romantically celebrate Valentine's Day with.
It's so true.
You know, but also it's a great friendship holiday too.
Truly, it is what you make it.
(42:28):
Yes, so, yeah.
And remember, even if you hate Valentine's Day,
there's a lot to be said about love.
It's just that whenever you're gonna love them,
you're gonna mess with them.
But I think that it takes a lot of time
to be able to do stuff
like you'll find the perfect balance
(42:50):
and pull out links in your pocket.
Yeah.
Sure.
On Fridays you better know how to do the things
that you love,
do the things that you don't want to love
when it's just with Valentine's Day.
Welcome back to the Even If podcast. I'm Sarah.
(00:05):
And I'm Kenzie. And today's episode is,
Even If You Hate Valentine's Day, there's a lot to be said about love.
Yeah, there is. Yeah, there is.
Okay, you know, gap session, we've got a yappin' chat.
Tell me about your week. Yeah, we got a yappin' chit chat.
Yappin' and chit chat. Yappin' and chit chat.
(00:26):
Y'all know this in the last week's episode where it was all about the yappin' and chit chat.
Yappin' and chit chat. Okay, tell me how you are, how your week was.
Well, I'll start by saying, clearly my voice sounds weird and you sound hot.
Sound like a change smoker. You sound hot.
I just got over the flu. And as you know, because you guys,
sweet Kenzie Todd, brings soup and crackers to my front door.
(00:50):
When I was sick, you're going to be the best wife.
Your husband is so lucky. I love you.
Oh my gosh, y'all. I had the flu and I was just texting her, sending her voice memos, like talking about the podcast.
She's like, you sound so bad. I was like, I'm so sick.
Which is crazy. And I've been so humbled because I used to always brag about never getting sick.
(01:12):
And I have gotten sick. I've had the flu twice this year.
My first one in my whole entire life. I've never had strep.
You've never really? Never.
You never got COVID? No. Wow.
And then I got the flu twice this year and it got me bad and I'm humbled because I thought sickness was a mindset.
Oh, you got taken out.
Not really. I don't really mean that because I know sickness is truly real.
(01:36):
But I mean, in certain situations, it is like you can push through, but the flu you cannot.
I cannot. So yeah, it's been a rough week. I was out, but I'm better.
I'm just like still not sounding great. So sorry.
My voice is off. I think you sound great. I love a nice raspy voice. You know, thanks girl.
I think you sound great. How's your week? You've had some, you've had some good news.
I've had some really good news. My knee is not torn. Hallelujah.
(02:00):
Literally praise the Lord. No, praise the Lord.
And I was actually talking to my mentor today because she was like, you like, what do you think?
Do you think this was a miracle? Like, do you think God healed you or do you think like it just was never torn?
I was like, no, I know God healed me because I have torn my knee.
I know the feeling. I couldn't even stand on one leg. It felt loose.
The brim was off, which is usually what happens. Like I was just like stumbling all the time.
(02:22):
And it would wake me up in the middle of the night. Like it was throbbing. It was so painful.
I'm, I have a high-pain tolerance too. And then literally like four or five days ago, I was like, wow, my knee.
It doesn't hurt. This is so weird. And then I went into my MRI feeling like I really feel like maybe it's not torn.
But then you also had people like literally like people like me and pray for me. Yeah.
(02:43):
Cause I, I was so, I mean, we talked about this last episode. I was so, it just took me out like mentally too.
I was just so discouraged by this because my part of my livelihood is my job.
It's like, here is my body. And so that's part of why I haven't skied in 10 years because I was, I am too scared to get hurt.
I won't play. I love playing sports. I won't play sports because I'm like, can't get hurt cause I need to be on the bike cause my business,
(03:07):
you know, big part of my business is me and like I'm the face of my own brand. And so I was so anxious.
And I asked, I very rarely asked people to pray for me. I've never fully understood until the last little while.
Honestly, the Lord's like doing a work in me and my heart about prayer specifically and just the power of prayer.
(03:31):
And I think I've taken prayer for granted. And so anyways, yeah, I asked people to pray for me.
I was like, I really needed to pray for my knee. Like I'm anxious. I'm worried. And I had a lot of people pray for me.
And the fact that it just like the pain went away and it wasn't even like, not only was it not torn,
it wasn't partially torn, it wasn't stretched, which is common. You can strain or stretch your ligaments,
(03:54):
especially if you've done it before. And yeah, literally, and I have not had pain since Tuesday.
No way. Yeah, last Tuesday. That's a miracle. Yeah, it's a miracle. I'm like, I was,
and the surgeon himself called me eight hours after my MRI was taken, which is also unheard of.
Like the fact why what's normal? Well, usually you don't get your results that quickly and you don't have like the surgeon himself,
(04:16):
the orthopedic that calls you and wants to talk about your results. Okay. And so when I saw the phone rang,
I my neck immediately got like a red rash on my neck. I was like, Oh my gosh, like this is here's the news, here's the news.
And he was like, everything looks really good. Like your knee looks great. Not a ligament is torn and everything.
You have a little cartilage buildup over your kneecap. That's common after you've been an athlete, but it's a miracle.
(04:40):
And I was like, I got a question. I was like, are you sure? Like, are we sure it's not stretch or partially torn?
Like, and he's like, no, you're, you're good. You can, I can send you some structured rehab.
I can send you PT or you can do it on your own. I was like, I'll do it on my own. So yeah, I had, it was great.
So amazing. It's been a great February for me.
January. Oh my goodness.
(05:04):
It's February. It's February. Okay. So Valentine's Day.
It's coming up. How do you, how do you feel about Valentine's Day? Okay.
I'm really curious to hear what you think too, because we haven't talked about this. No, we haven't, but I love Valentine's Day.
Do you? Yes. I love it. I do. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah.
Okay. I've been talking to so many people and everybody thinks it's a hyped up holiday. Everybody thinks it's such a homeric holiday, which I get it.
(05:28):
Which I think it is a homeric holiday. Yes, it is. And then like people constantly saying that there doesn't need to be one day.
You should be loving your spouse like this every day. I'm like, yes, I agree. But also, I love Valentine's Day.
I have a lot of thoughts on Valentine's Day. My thing is, well, first of all, my mom is the most generous person on the planet.
(05:49):
And growing up, she always would put on Valentine's Day. Well, honestly, just growing up, she always put a note in my lunch pail.
Lunch pail? My lunch pail? Oh, yeah. Oh, is that a Canadian thing? That's cute. Oh my gosh. Is that a lunch box?
Lunch box. No, I call it. That's so funny that that just came out like that. That's the cutest. I don't think it's actually a pail.
(06:10):
What's a pail? Well, no, I think it's just in my lunch box, but we call it lunch pails. Oh my gosh. Why? That's so cute.
You know how you say things? You're like, I haven't said that since I was a kid. But yeah, it's a lunch pail. So she wouldn't have been like a bucket.
Oh, it was kind of like, you know, every, I love school supply shopping and every year we got a new lunch pail.
That's cute. But she would always write us a note every day in our lunch pails. As long as she was back in our lunch, which stopped when I think I was like 12th.
(06:37):
Then she would put like random little like she put a tiny baby in there every once in a while or whatever. But Valentine's Day, she would always make like a special lunch for us.
And I just did a really good job about loving us. And I was raised, thankfully, the Lord gave me a mom that really allowed for me to, and I think this is probably very common for a lot of women,
but she just never put a lot of emphasis ever on my relationship status. So I never felt like Valentine's Day was like this exclusive for couples only to enjoy.
(07:05):
And so I just love Valentine's Day because I think it's a day to love your people really well. And then when you're married or you do have a significant other, great.
Another opportunity to like go celebrate. Okay, I wonder if it stems a lot from childhood. Yeah, maybe it does.
Like what people's thoughts are on it or if it's like hurt in relationships. But I don't know. I don't know.
(07:26):
I mean, I guess I do know a lot of people also who are married and just kind of think it's a waste. But I'm like, I want to be married and still celebrate.
And I don't mean to take me to dinner and get dressed up. Like absolutely not. I don't even mean you have to buy me flowers.
But like literally a fun day to write a handwritten letter and tell each other why you love each other. And sure, if you want to do that in March and April too.
Yes, I'm not something like I think you should be doing that year round all the time. Yes. But I also think it's a fun. It's a holiday.
(07:50):
It's something to get you through February. I agree. But yeah, I mean, I'm the same. I think my dad always would get my mom and me roses and chocolates.
And balloons like he was sweet. All the things right. And I just think I know he loves me all the time and he'll tell me other times too.
But I think to have a day to do that, it's just special. It's great. I agree. I like it. I really I like it too.
(08:18):
And I don't think much like if I don't have anything to do on a Valentine's Day, I'm like, okay, it's another day, but I'm going to like celebrate the people that I love.
And then when I I mean, I've had Valentine I've had boyfriends on Valentine's Day, which is going to bring me to my next question because we were laughing about this earlier.
But talking about Valentine's Day stories stories about Valentine's Day. Okay, yes, we were talking about this and I literally wrote down some because I was trying to think of like, do I have good Valentine's Day stories.
(08:45):
And I'm like, okay, I have one where a guy broke up with me the day before Valentine's Day, only to call me the next day and be like, oh, it's Valentine's Day. I didn't mean that. I'm sorry. Get back together.
And like we got back together and like we're together for like months. Oh boy. And I just was like, that was a weird weird weird weird.
My sister-in-law's and I have done like Gallantines things before on Valentine's Day, which is so fun because we're literally all married to my brothers, but I'm like, spend my time with me.
(09:14):
Yeah. And they're so sweet. And they have there was one year I was living in East Nashville and I lived next to this family and they had like nine kids and I was really close with three of the kids.
And so I took them all out for pizza and I was like, you have to wear a red or pink. So fun. And we're going to get pizza. And that was so fun.
I love that one. One time I remember visiting my grandpa in the retirement home and hanging out with old people and playing like old people Valentine's Day games.
(09:41):
One of my very, very favorite Valentine's memories though is every year around Valentine's Day is night to shine. Do you know what night to shine is?
No. What is that? It's a prom for special needs. Okay. I've heard of this. And so the first time I ever did it was in Haiti and it was incredible.
It's hosted by the Tim Tebow Foundation in Tim Tebow was fair. And it was. Yeah. And it was literally, I think the closest I've ever been to heaven.
(10:05):
Yeah, I'm sure. Because I mean, there's Tim Tebow and a bunch of like other NFL players. So NFL players are there. People who are in Haiti that I've never met in my life.
Black, white, brown, every color, like paralyzed, walking, athletic, you know, just like from every race to every status to every health, like we're all in the same building.
(10:26):
And it's just like all celebrating. Wow. And it's just truly like one of the most incredible things. And now they're national. They're in 50 night to shine is in 50 countries and is in every state.
And so that's so cool. You did that in Haiti. Like that's such a fun way to spend Valentine's Day. But yeah, like one time I ran a 5K, the national hot chocolate.
(10:47):
Oh, is that still a thing? Yeah. Is it really? Yeah, yeah. I have some friends running it. Not that I'm interested because I don't like to run, but.
But you can. You can. I wanted to. Yeah, yeah, 5K. You can do. You can do. But honestly, like nothing. I don't have any Valentine's days that are like what you would typically think of like all of those are fun things.
Like I remember one time I even did a photo shoot for this guy. I was super into and he like he like had a brand and he needed models for the photo shoot. It was on Valentine's Day.
(11:14):
And I was like, are you asking me to be your Valentine? Is there a hidden message? But we have plans. Sure. I'll come.
Oh my God. But no, I never like do not take me out to dinner on Valentine's Day. Like, I just like that sounds like chaos. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's also really busy at the restaurants.
It's like the busiest traffic. I think it's like a statistic where it's like the at least when I lived in LA, you just knew not to get on the free. You need not to get go out if you didn't have dinner plans or really just not to because it was like traffic.
(11:45):
It's the worst day of traffic in LA. It was Valentine's Day. Interesting. Yeah. See, I have no desire to go on the actual day because I just like it's going to be busy. Yeah.
But I just think the intentionality is so sweet. I don't know. Okay. What was your list?
Well, I got broken up too the day before Valentine's Day. What's wrong with me? I don't know. But what's funny is they scared. Maybe they're scared of Valentine's Day.
(12:11):
Yeah, I don't honestly, this guy was so I'm going to be kind. I don't even think you realize Valentine's Day was the next day and I did not see that breakup coming. Although Lord, thank you.
Never talked to him again. Just broke up with me, came over to my apartment, broke up with me. I was like, felt very blindsided.
Years ago, though. But then I was like, okay. And then that was it. So that's that's a story I can remember.
(12:38):
I don't know if I can remember any. I don't really have anything like super memorable. Like I do know my girlfriends and I would always like if we were single, we would get together and do something fun or I'd spend time with my family.
I think I don't have a lot of memorable ones because for me, it's just it's a special day, but it's not like I'm not defined by this day with my relationship status situation.
(13:04):
I've spent Valentine's days with ex-boyfriends before, but obviously none of those were very memorable either. I'm sure they were at the time, but you know, I don't know, it doesn't really nothing really sticks out to me.
But I am going to be spending Valentine's Day with my girlfriends in Austin. So a bunch of us are going to get together and hang out on Friday night, which will be so sweet because I'm going to go to Austin this weekend.
(13:25):
So yes, I'm excited about that. That will probably be my most memorable Valentine's Day. Yeah, there you go. It's coming. It's coming. It's in a few days. So good. So yeah, I'm excited.
Nothing. Nothing. Just like a broken up. 2025. This is the first memorable one. Maybe you just I should hopefully have another niece. Whoa. By then. Yeah. Jonathan and Slayne. Dang. They should be having their first baby. First baby.
(13:48):
I am so excited. This is number eight. Nine. It will be my ninth niece or nephew. Wow. Okay, so in lieu of it be Valentine's Day, we really just want to talk about what the Bible says about love and just kind of talk through verses that Sarah and I both have on our hearts.
So I just want to ask you, Sarah, and let's talk about this because we really want to dive into scripture. Obviously, like we're here to share our hearts and love on you guys, but we really want to also just do an episode where we're like, let's get in the word and what does the word say about love and just hope it encourages you all.
(14:21):
So what does the Bible say about love, Sarah?
Okay, well, I think the whole entire Bible is love. Yeah, baby. You know, like I think it is truly a love letter to us. And if I think I have heard that my whole life and didn't really know what that meant. And it wasn't till last year was the first time in my life.
(14:42):
I was 32. First time in my life that I've ever read through the Bible from Wow, cover to cover. It's amazing. And I think I have realized how it is a seamless story.
And this whole thing is about love, like the story of the Old Testament and then how everybody was, you know, we're searching for this Messiah, the Savior. And then finally he's here. He's born. And then his miracles, stories, teachings, death and resurrection, all the way to Revelation.
(15:08):
It's like this whole entire book is the sweetest, most beautiful love story we will ever have. Yeah. So it's hard to narrow it down when we say like, what does the Bible say about love?
But I did, I know that you and I picked out some verses that we want to talk about today. I picked out Romans 5, 8, but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
(15:31):
Love that. And I think what's so powerful about that is it's saying that God shows his love for us while we were still sinners.
Like we didn't do anything to deserve his love. We were sinners, which means we were actually not living right, doing things that he hates. And he still died for us.
(15:58):
Yeah. Yeah.
It's hard to wrap your mind around honestly.
It is. It's a verse like that that I could read over and over and break down and like continually need to break down to like take in the depth of that. But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Yeah.
Like sinners, we hated him. Like that means we hated him if we weren't walking with him. We weren't, we weren't choosing him and he still died for us. Like that is sacrificial love.
(16:28):
Sacrificial love. Yeah.
That's exactly it. And there's a book I read in my Bible study last fall and there's a whole chapter. I don't know if we've ever talked about this, but there's a whole chapter and the chapter alone is just getting the book is worth getting the book for.
But it basically talks about a doctor literally walks you through the crucifixion of Jesus and what happened to him. You know, when they put the like down to the beating down to the thorn what muscles what bones broke what muscles where the art like the pain.
(16:58):
And it makes you cry. Like it's actually so incredibly horrific to read. I had never read anything like that before where you're like scientifically reading from a doctor's point of view what happened to him on the cross and you're thinking like this.
This is what I'm worth. I'm worth somebody going through this kind of pain. Wow.
(17:20):
And and it completely paints the picture. It's almost like watching, you know, Passion of the Christ. Yeah. But reading it and like the details and like the sign it was it's gory.
It's like you you just cannot imagine anything like that. And I love this verse because it truly just demonstrates like a sacrifice and that love is completely sacrificial in every way.
(17:43):
And it's like nothing that we can do. Yeah, there's nothing that we can do to deserve it. Or to, yeah, you know, I struggle with that a lot in my own personal journey of I like to achieve and I am produce and it's been it's been something that I've had to break in my own walk of just like can see there's
(18:06):
nothing that you have to do to earn it. And it's been it's been a reckoning in my own heart to like make sure that I know that there's nothing that I will do or ever do that will make God not love me, which even saying it that way it's like because that is so often what the
world says that we have to do something to earn something or like we need to earn love in relationships. I think you and I both have past trauma of that like having to do something or having to earn it or having to be good enough for it.
(18:41):
And it's like that's not what God says. No, no.
And I think it's hard to believe in. If you've never experienced that in the human form. So you have it's like it's hard to it's actually my life coach that told me that today.
She's like, you're holding on which is part of what I love about being able to see if we're talking romantic. I think this applies to even friendship love to but I'm able to watch it through certain people in my life.
(19:08):
I'm like, I know it exists because I'm watching that. But when you've never experienced it, it's a lot harder to hold out on hope for that. And so I think that's why you you have to go to what the word says and what God says.
And that because if you've never had it and you felt like you've had to earn it or you've been told that you have to earn it and that's not love and that's not love. Yeah, you know, and how do you reframe and break all those patterns to know that there's nothing that you need to do to earn or then to once you do get the love
(19:37):
like now to upkeep the love make sure that he stays make sure that he wants me still make sure that he's this I mean, yeah, I'm not even gonna go down on that tangent of being with somebody that that would tell me even how I dressed or how I looked was I needed to have a certain look
and do these things and so yeah, I think I think just being able to reconcile that and especially as you know, speaking to women, it's and as women, we are so loved by our father.
(20:01):
And there's there's literally nothing we can do to earn it. It's a hard thing to it's a genuinely hard thing to wrap your brain around. Yeah. But if you live from that place, you you can tell you can tell the you can tell the people that live knowing how much they believe that God says
what's it God says about the mystery and that they love that he loves them. Yeah, it's like an over I mean, it is like overflowing overflowing. Do you think that the Bible standard for love is the same as the world? Not at all. Yeah, no, not not even close.
(20:32):
And I mean, there's been so many times where I've been asked, like, Well, why are you remaining pure until you get married? And I'm like, And, you know, they they might know part of my past or why you're making this decision now and and it's really hard for them to comprehend why I have these answers.
And well, why, you know, people even like dropping off soup for you. It's like, that's how that's just what you do. You just love your friends the way that you like that's love. And a lot of people don't under have a hard time accepting love like that.
(21:07):
So by the world standards, it's it's conditioned. It's something that you have to prove it's it comes and goes it's a feeling.
Love is a feeling. You know, we fell out. How many times you hear we just fell out of love. Yeah, you know, I just my heart changed. It's like, What? Yes, I think that's it's just really it's really scary when the when you're looking to the world for anything, let alone like trying to define what what love is and what love means.
(21:41):
Yeah, I know you probably feel the exact same way. Like, that question like, Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's just it's such a good question. What's like what's what?
First Corinthians, first Corinthians 13. Yeah, four. Yeah, I love it. The title of mine, like the section. I don't know what yours says. Mine says the way of love.
Does it love is indispensable? What version do you have? I have NIV. Okay, I have ESP. Love ESP to okay. Yeah, I used to have an IV and I just switched to ESP. I just switched to NIV.
(22:12):
Oh, this is crazy. No, I just got this. I got my very first study Bible.
Because kind of David bought Kenna one. Yeah. And then I saw it and I was like, wait, I need to get my hands on one of these. So I bought myself one and it's been incredible. Yeah, I got the ESP because this is a study and a note taking one.
(22:34):
And I know your Bible is so beautiful. Watercolor watercolor is like out of a movie. My book, my Bible is out of a movie. Yeah, it looks like it should be in. I don't know why I said but it is.
It's like a love story. It's a magazine. Magazine. Did you mean movie? I think I meant movie, but I'm not sure why I said that. Oh, no, I love it. It's like out of a magazine. It should be. No, it could be a movie. It could be in a movie.
(22:57):
Oh, I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. It's beautiful. Thanks, girl. You know, I got you. Your Bible's cute. Thanks. Okay, first Corinthians 13. You want to read it? First one. Yeah, I got Corinthians.
Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others. It is not self seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs.
(23:25):
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
That is biblical love. That's biblical love. It makes you get literally when I read it, I'm like, it makes me take a deep breath like because it's just so it's just so profound and I find myself honestly coming to this first for the people that are hard to love in my life.
(23:55):
Because I feel guilty that I'm, it's hard for me to love them and I had a mentor tell me once and she reminds me this, Kinsey, are you patient? Are you kind? Is it long suffering? Those are answers that are yes. And it's like, then you love, you love that person.
I'm specifically talking about a family member but yeah, it just, it makes you, it makes me take deep breaths because it's also the love that I know the Lord has for you and I one day and the love that he's given me in friendships as of now.
(24:29):
You know, it's just so, it's so beautiful.
Well, I think it's even that because I think this verse is often read at weddings, right? Or it's red thinking about like, oh, my husband, he's, you know, thinking about these things for that I want to be for him and he's going to be for me and it's like, no, this is just how we're called to love, to love.
But how many people do you feel like are in your life?
(24:51):
Well, probably quite a few because you're like this, but it's hard to meet people or have people in your life that love you like this, you know, that can, can go to the Bible and go, okay, like go to this verse and to not have envy, to not boast, to be patient, to be kind, to not be easily angered.
I mean, that one, like, to not keep records if wrong, like, there's been conversations I've had with friends and they will keep a record. I'm like, hang on a second.
(25:20):
And like, and so, yeah, I think it's one of those things that can be, it's just such a convicting verse.
Yeah.
And how I, how I even act in my own life.
Oh, for sure.
You know, I think it's good for us to look at ourselves of, yeah, like, am I being envious of my boastful? I mean, even literally the first part, first, first Corinthians 13 for love is patient.
(25:46):
Am I always patient?
Absolutely not.
I mean, you know, and it's like, but this is the, this is why this book is so like special and so needed is because we need to come back to it and be reminded of these are the things and like, we know that God is love.
And because God is love, and then God lives in us, we are able to be this way with him.
(26:09):
Exactly.
And when I'm walking with him and when I'm not like, I mean, I'm irritable. I'm jealous. I'm totally not rejoicing.
And your inputs, like they have to be a lot more frequent and a lot stronger than your output.
So it's like, for me, it's, and it's for you two, we're both like this.
We get up really early and we read our Bibles in the morning and it's not perfect and sometimes mine's rushed because I'm running out the door and you're, you know, I got to run to work.
(26:33):
But I notice a massive difference in my day if I just get up and I spend five minutes versus spending 25 minutes and just reading and having it make sure that it, my inputs are stronger and larger.
Then my output, otherwise I'm going to run dry and I have nothing to give.
So yeah, I think something too about walking with the Lord is we are called to love everyone.
(27:02):
And that's just not like those who are easy to love.
It's our enemies.
Yeah, literally, we're supposed to love our enemies.
Yeah, pray for our enemies.
Yeah.
You know, love your neighbor.
There's a few verses that talk about this like John 15 12 through 13 says this is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you greater love has no one than this.
(27:27):
That's someone laid down his life for his friends.
And just thinking about, I mean, that's like that verse in Romans too, just that the love that would lay down his life for everybody.
Yeah.
And that's greater love is that and then proverb 1717 says a friend loves at all times and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
(27:50):
Thinking about like friend friendship love and the importance of that.
Mark 12 31 says, Jesus says, you shall love your neighbor as yourself.
There's no other commandment greater than these.
And I think that's that one specifically that verse is so that's one of those two that you can just pick apart.
(28:12):
Yeah, you shall love your neighbor as yourself.
Because what does that mean to love your neighbor as yourself?
Like, how do you love yourself?
Yeah, it's true.
And don't you find that the people that don't really love themselves are the ones that are unhappy.
And those are the ones like hurt people hurt people.
Right.
So I think, so how do you love yourself?
What does self love me?
Like, how do we know how to love ourselves?
(28:33):
I think it's, I think a lot of it is accepting the love of God.
I feel like if you don't accept or believe what God says about you is true, it's going to be impossible for you to actually understand your worth.
Yeah.
And if you don't understand your worth, you're going to settle.
You're going to treat your body terribly.
You're going to treat your heart terribly.
You're going to accept whatever kind of love you can find.
(28:55):
You're going to stay in the job that you hate because you don't think you're worthy of taking a risk and jumping and trying something else.
So I think a lot of self love comes from what your view of God is and whether you can get on board with the fact that he loves you and died for you.
Yeah.
You know, I feel like you can't, you can't pour out what you don't have.
(29:18):
Yeah.
So if we're not being filled by true love and what is true love God, right?
Yep.
It's if we're not being filled by true love, then we can't pour that out.
Yeah.
How did you learn how to love like as a kid, like, Mike, I'm trying to ask this question, like just off the cuff here, but I know I've obviously not your parents, love your parents, know your family.
(29:47):
You had an incredible example.
And, you know, how did you, how did you look to understand and believe that God loves you?
That's a great question.
What was that journey like for you?
That's a great question.
Like, I don't feel like there's been a time in my life where I haven't felt loved by my family at least, you know, by my parents, like I think from a young age, I knew they loved me.
(30:16):
And I think I grew up in a Christian household.
They would talk about Jesus.
I knew Jesus loved me.
You know, Jesus loves me this I know.
It's like, you know, one of the first little songs you learn as a kid.
And I think just maybe being raised in the church knew that, heard that, but I don't know that it was always, I mean, I think that's part of sanctification.
(30:40):
Yeah.
Oh, that's a good answer.
Yeah.
Walking with the Lord is that I'm still learning it.
Like, I do I doubt him?
Yes.
Still.
Do I question if he sees me still?
Yes.
Yeah.
Do I wonder if he's forgotten about me?
Yes.
But do I also deep down in my heart know that he loves me?
Yes.
Yeah.
(31:01):
You know, and I think part of that is just the journey because I mean, yeah, there have
been times where like, because of what's happened to me, I'm like, does God actually like, how come God's love me?
Like, does he really love me or why would that have happened to me?
Yeah.
Or if he loves me, wouldn't I have been married by now?
Yeah.
Or, you know, like, we can get to those places.
Totally.
But I think it's again, bringing us back to the word.
(31:22):
Yep.
Okay.
That's not what love is.
Yeah.
Because love doesn't mean you get your way.
Love doesn't mean you get to be married young.
Love doesn't mean, you know, like, that's not love.
No.
And I think that's why we have to bring it back to what does the Bible say about love?
And that's, and then that is the process of sanctification and being more like him.
(31:42):
And when we become more like him, I think we can love ourselves because we know that
he has created us.
And then when it goes back to that verse in Mark, you shall love your neighbor as yourself.
And then that is accepting God's love for us and being able to share that love with others.
Yeah.
I love that.
Was that a jib?
(32:02):
Jibber jabber?
I knew you were going to say, is that a jabber jabber?
No, that was that was eloquent and perfect.
Why did you know I was going to say that?
Because I know you say jabber jabber.
Yeah, you've taught me some Southern words before.
I don't think you've said jabber jabber on the podcast, but I know that you have said
jabber jabber before because you're teaching me words.
You're teaching me Southern words and I'm teaching you Northern Canadian words like
(32:25):
a lunch pill lunch.
I don't have to say with an accent.
A lunch pill lunch pill.
Wait, that's about about about I'm going to about to get my lunch.
Not one thing I can't do is accent.
But you got that.
I see Southern draw.
I can't either.
But I just that's funny.
(32:47):
I mean, I'm like, I'm just going to say jabber jabber.
Yeah.
You got any more jabber jabber?
I got some jabber jabber.
No, I love you.
I love your answer.
I think because I think we both come we both love the Lord so much and we both come from
such different families.
Yeah.
So I think it's only about what that's like for you.
For me, so I learned a lot about love through my obviously my mom.
(33:11):
She's my favorite person and she loves people so well.
And I watched her intentionality and her care and her kindness and all that.
And then biblical love.
I really learned.
I mean, the Lord placed me since I was little in the hands of people who showed that to
me.
And then when I became a believer and I'm I'm pretty I'm not super stubborn now, but
(33:34):
I used to be very stubborn and it took me like 10 times for you to tell me to do something.
Like I was always the goody tissue girl.
Like I got good grades and never had a curfew because I didn't need one kind of thing.
But when it came to like rationalizing why people were nice to me, I couldn't quite understand
it.
But when I met believers, I was like, there's something so different about the way that
(33:56):
they live and the way that they treat me.
And there was always I always believed in God since I was little, but the relational
peace and and the acting that out wasn't really until my college years and then after that.
So I just feel like I learned about God's love through people and that's a big part
of why I love to love people because I would not have known about God in that way.
(34:24):
If it weren't for, you know, and there's people I still think about from college that just
were just I mean, huge vessels that put me where I am.
So I just feel like I got to watch and experience and question and be like, why is this person
doing this for me?
This is so wild.
And then I feel like it's that pay it forward kind of thing now where I'm just like, people
(34:48):
are asking me about God and asking me and I'm like, oh my gosh, yeah, I remember when
I was in your shoes.
And so to be able to to be an example and it's just so easy now because I'm filled with
the Holy Spirit and he's my he's my input.
But it was through people.
Yeah, I had a great family, but just not didn't know about the word of God until way later
(35:09):
in life.
So I love that.
Yeah.
That's really cool.
Well, it's cool how he uses, you know, talks about other believers being like the hands
and feet and totally uses other people when like to have his will be done.
Yeah.
(35:30):
For people to meet the right people and plant seeds and grow and how that's all just been
orchestrated.
Mm hmm.
It's wild.
It's so wild.
And I was reading, I think it was last week, I'm reading Draw the Circle.
I know I mentioned that, but I think it was maybe last week or two weeks ago.
But just how there was this example of this grandmother that was praying for, I think she
(35:50):
had like 12 kids or something and she wanted all them to love the Lord.
And I think over time there was like one final one that came to the Lord when he was like
90 on his deathbed.
But it was like way after his mom had passed away.
And so it's just like all these, these prayers that generation might not be seen for generations,
but it's that planting of the seed.
(36:10):
And my grandmother was not a believer until kind of the last 15 years of her life.
And then all she did was pray for everyone that she loved.
And I really think that I came to know the Lord through my grandmother's prayers.
Wow.
And that being fulfilled, she died.
Oh gosh, I don't know about six or seven years ago.
Yeah, she'd been praying for me to know the Lord for a long time.
(36:35):
And we were never super, super close just because she lived in the States and we lived
in Canada, but it's wild.
Yeah.
The seeds that you can plant.
Yeah.
So that's cool.
I know it's really cool.
And then on that topic, kind of a little bit of a segue, but when Sarah and I were talking
about verses, one of the things that I come to a lot, there's nothing that we lack.
(36:58):
And I go back to that verse of like, for the Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
And it's Psalm 23.
And when you think about it, and I don't know who might be listening and you're getting
prepped for Valentine's Day and the hallmark part of it being a holiday that makes you
feel like, oh, I'm single.
I don't have another, another Valentine's goes by and I don't have a significant other.
(37:23):
I just really pray and hope that whoever is listening and needs to hear this, it's like
there's nothing that, there's nothing that you lack when you have the Lord.
Like it, and it's, it's hard to hear when of course Sarah and I have our own stuff and
insecurities and things that we deal with that we've shared about on this podcast, some things
(37:46):
that we just shared between her and I, but we're not sitting here on our high horse being
like, oh, it's fine.
We're single and we're still fine that we don't have a significant other.
All you need is Jesus, but truly like through our stories, we've gotten to a point where
it actually is true and you can't get here.
And I remember somebody stopped me and someone came to my class because she had heard our
(38:07):
podcast and she stopped me after class and she was like, I just want to say that your
podcast like means everything.
I look forward to it every weekend and it's just given me so much hope and the way that
you guys talk about singleness like I'm 29 and I just can't really imagine getting there,
but I'm praying that I can view singleness the way that you guys do.
And I just looked at her and said, you absolutely will just keep at it.
(38:28):
Like it's all, it's a long road.
It's hard.
It's not like we got here and we're like, yeah, we lack nothing because we have the Lord,
but it's actually true.
We lack nothing.
We have the Lord.
Yeah.
You know, I love that verse.
It just comes back to like, I like nothing.
Yes.
And the first part, the Lord is my shepherd.
The Lord is my shepherd.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like nothing where the Lord is my shepherd.
I shall not want and what is needing, you know, like what I don't want anything.
(38:51):
Like I don't, yeah, I have everything I could ever need.
Exactly.
Even when you don't have like, we've talked about that episode where the chapter that
I wanted to skip like kind of failure and all of those things, even when I, there's
things that I'm like, yeah, I would love to, you know, be nice to make more money or it
would be nice.
But it's like my definition, I was telling Sarah this earlier, like my definition of
(39:13):
success has changed so much over the years, especially now where, yes, I'm an entrepreneur.
Yes.
I love to work hard.
my visions and my goals have shifted.
And the more that I know God,
the more that I feel like he's shifting those.
And so, yeah, it's just like your needs.
One of the prayers that I've had is that my needs
(39:34):
and my wants are in alignment.
That I need what I want and I want what I need.
And yeah, you just, it's like a freedom.
You can't even, like you can't put the freedom
that you and I feel into words.
It's like it must be experienced,
but it's such a special place to be.
When you know God's love and you feel,
(39:57):
and you know the depth of his love,
I just think everything else has more depth.
Like, that's so good.
You have eyes to see brokenness
and you have eyes to see grace
and you have strength for purity.
You have ears to hear unheard.
You have eyes to see the unseen.
(40:19):
You have hands more willing to help.
It's like when you're a new creation in Christ
and it's like you have new everything.
And I feel like I remember when I got my,
one of my first Bible that like I was able to pick out.
I remember my dad and I went to a life way
and got like my name on it and everything.
And when a quote I wrote at the very beginning of it
(40:42):
was break my heart for what breaks yours.
And I just thought like,
I think that's part of the sanctification process
is when we know more about love,
our heart is broken in ways that break his.
And we love in ways that he loves.
(41:02):
And like there are things that I know I have done,
not any part of who Sarah Hilton is,
like as only a result of the Lord's love through me
because my flesh would not want to love that person.
Yeah, that's good.
For what they did to me or my flesh would not want to
care to reconcile because that's not what my flesh would want.
But the Lord's love through me
(41:24):
has helped me heal those things or mend those things
or love, forgive, forget, move on.
Wow, I love that.
It's so good.
It is so true.
He can make us do the things that we couldn't even imagine.
I can so relate to that, that peace for sure.
I've just like, that's just all the Lord.
That's not me.
(41:45):
That's not me.
Well, that's all we have for today.
And happy Valentine's Day.
And honestly, you guys,
if you don't have plans on Friday night,
go make plans with somebody that you love.
It's Valentine's Day on a Friday.
Yeah.
Oh.
Right?
Yeah, it's this Friday.
I don't have dates, but I have a girl hang,
(42:07):
which I'm really excited about.
Oh yeah, you're gonna be an Austin for it.
I'll be an Austin.
That'll be fun.
So just go and enjoy your day
or sit home, watch a movie and enjoy that
because life changes quick.
You just never know when God's gonna bring
someone that you can romantically celebrate Valentine's Day with.
It's so true.
You know, but also it's a great friendship holiday too.
Truly, it is what you make it.
(42:28):
Yes, so, yeah.
And remember, even if you hate Valentine's Day,
there's a lot to be said about love.
It's just that whenever you're gonna love them,
you're gonna mess with them.
But I think that it takes a lot of time
to be able to do stuff
like you'll find the perfect balance
(42:50):
and pull out links in your pocket.
Yeah.
Sure.
On Fridays you better know how to do the things
that you love,
do the things that you don't want to love
when it's just with Valentine's Day.
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