February 18, 2025 • 52 mins
On this week’s episode of The Even If Podcast, we hit the topic of female friendships! As Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another”. We discuss how friendships can shape our faith, what accountability in Godly female friendships looks like, and how to cultivate deeper, God-centered friendships. We chat about how to overcome struggles us girlies have within friendships and our thoughts on having friends that are non-believers. Friendships are such a gift and so important to invest in. We are not meant to do life alone. Lets be intentional in our friendships and invest deeply. Enjoy this week’s episode and remember, even if, He is still good.
Connect: theevenifpod@gmail.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theevenifpod
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome back to the Even If Podcast. I'm Kenzie and I'm Sarah and today's episode is all about
(00:08):
female friendships. So we are going to dive right in. Yeah girl and talk about female friendships.
And we wanted to start with what does a Bible say about friendships? And so we wanted to open up with
Proverbs 2717 which says as iron sharpens iron so one person sharpens another. I love that verse. I love that verse too.
(00:31):
And I think there's a lot about friendship and stories about friends within the Bible but that's such a great verse
and thinking about what good godly friendships are like and I think you are that for me. You're that for me.
I'm just like sharpening me like I think about our friendship and how it's first of all changed so much throughout the years.
(00:52):
Yeah. Of knowing each other and how you have been somebody who has truly sharpened me in so many ways in business and life and my
relationship with the Lord and how I have relationships with men. And I think that's so cool how the Lord gives us people to do that with.
Oh yeah. Yeah. I think female friendships is and for me my female friendships are outside of my relationship with Jesus like the most
(01:24):
important thing in my life. And I don't know what I did. I know I don't deserve it but I would say I have the best the best female
friendships. And you are you are right there like top of that list because I am just also just so grateful for the way that the Lord
(01:45):
has. We're just talking about this before we started recording just our friendship over the years we met when we were what 2625 I was 26 you were 25.
Yeah. 26. So it's been eight years of friendship and now we're and we've gone through just like working together. Which that's yeah I think our
(02:06):
story is even yeah we shared a little bit about it on episode one but of we started as co-workers. And I mean I remember were you part of my
interview process. I think so. I think I like I remember Olivia and Michelle yeah which is hilarious that the girls who interviewed me became some of my best friends.
Yeah it's so wild. But yeah I think you were part of it. I remember emailing you to like set up my interview. Yeah. So yeah we started as just kind of
(02:36):
formal co-workers. I don't know as formals you and I get. Yeah. Once upon a time in the corporate world. And yeah what did that
friendship like that friendship started as yeah co-workers doing we were both assistants serving team lead leader and so I think we did like work
emails back and forth and then it turned into how are you. Yeah. I do want to hang out outside of work and sharing books and fun things with each
(03:05):
other talking about boys giggling under our desks. Literally. Yeah. And then our friendship honestly kind of changed after that. I mean we got
I think we did we were close for a while like I remember going and laying out at the pool with you and doing dinners and things in groups. But I feel
like our friendship when you left that job I left shortly after a couple months after. Yeah I think we both were about the same time. Yeah.
(03:34):
And we kind of stopped talking. Yeah. I think it's interesting when you do daily life with people and you see them every day and then you
don't. It's really easy to well it's just probably also pretty common to just not talk every day unless you're making like an exuberant effort. Yeah you have to be
(03:58):
intentional and you have to be really intentional and we were in our what late 20s at that point or like mid 20s. So yeah we kind of we just
nothing bad happened. We just kind of stopped talking. You moved to Colorado. Yeah. I moved I left that job and moved to Colorado and you had just
started full ride. Yeah. And so I think we were kind of just both doing our yeah and it's not like anything happened. We just moved on. Yeah. And we're
(04:24):
doing other things and our attention was elsewhere. I remember still like obviously we would message back and forth occasionally like
social media. But I don't think we kept up a ton in that season. Right. No I don't think so. And then I don't know. I see a lot of all I see is
really black. I think I blacked out a couple years of my life. COVID. What happened there starting a business. But I do remember we both
(04:51):
I moved to Austin. You moved to Charleston and we would DM each other. We would text each other sometimes about like honestly our relationships. Yeah.
That we were in at the time. Yeah. Which is so funny that so interesting. We wanted to do that. Yeah. Probably because when we were working together we talked so
much about relationships that if you ever saw me post something. Yeah. You would text me and be like is this guy. Yeah. Or what's this about. Yeah. And I think we would always talk about how
(05:16):
we're praying for each other. Yeah. On our single girls list. Yep. Yes. And I was like you're on my list and I would just do that. Yeah. I need to do it again.
It's been a little while but I would write a list of the single girls I'm praying for. And you were always on that list for years. Which is funny. Yeah. I think we just sweet. Yeah. Yeah.
And then it wasn't till we started texting about me moving back to Nashville and starting a podcast together that our friendship took another turn. Yep.
(05:45):
And we got closer. Yeah. So close. And honestly I told Sarah this last week but truly one of if not the best gift God gave me in twenty twenty four with Sarah because not only having her back but also just having her in a season that is so similar.
Like we're both walking in singleness in our 30s loving the Lord deeply chasing after him. We love our lives. We were close with our family now we both live close to our families. So and we have both friends that are married with kids and friends that are married and we're we have women that we're leading in singleness and yeah it's just it's so just I feel so held to have you and to walk through things with you.
(06:30):
And it's been such a gift like and to know that God is that good and that kind to be like here's someone that you already trust. You already love. You're going to do this podcast together where you're going to use the things that I've walked through with you to help other women.
And then in the process this is going to hold you through your singleness because we don't it's very rare to have women that have the same values that love the same things that you do to have the same like humor have so much fun together love Jesus.
(07:05):
We do and we're both single still I know because it does look very different when your friends are married because it just does their lives are just different. Yeah you know what I have somebody to that's like you're not 28 and singling.
I know that is hard because I was 28 and it was hard to be in your 30s and still feel this is such a gift that our lives are parallel right now. And it's like I also think we found each other. You know it didn't just like happen. No I think because of probably our circumstances is what led us to
(07:38):
together and then to and then we just became closer because of where we're at and our intentionality. Yes and wanting that but it's like yeah there are times where I have longed for this friendship or something like that like I remember when I first moved to Charleston I knew nobody
there and I prayed on my prayer list I was like my number one thing is that I want one girlfriend to be close with and within my first couple months there I met a girl we're at a concert she was the exact same age as me Wow both 30 both single she talked about the church she went to
(08:16):
we talked about surfing skating we're both wearing vans we both like we're at this like indie concert which is honestly so not me I was like wait what yeah I don't know but we were there and just like had so much in common and hit it off it was Logan Logan
I already know okay yeah yeah yeah sorry but this is Logan and she and I just hit it off and instantly became friends and funny how the Lord used our story a year later I was her roommate and we were living together and going through a relationship together and break up and it was just like she was the biggest answer
(08:47):
that I had in Charleston I was like I want one close really really close godly single girlfriend and she was that and it's like then I came back here and I was literally praying that same prayer and I didn't even have you in mind like I didn't even have anybody in mind I just was like Lord I want this I want this I want this and then you came out of nowhere
and I was like that is the answer prayer yeah of having that and so how cool that in his timing he orchestrates that to bring people together for that I love that and I think honestly I will say to all the ladies listening you guys prioritize your female friendships
(09:23):
whether you're single whether you're dating whether you're engaged or married like you need your girls you need your girls and so having Sarah has been the greatest gift being back in Nashville and walking through primarily singleness and just where our hearts are at and our longs to be we both want to be
moms so badly and so we get to hold each other in that and encourage each other in that it's been such a freaking gift such a gift how would you say female friendships have shaped your faith
(09:52):
hmm well I mean honestly my female friendships in college led me to faith and then and then have sustained me and just have taught me like truly the hands and feet of Jesus have been the women in my life and they've they've not only led me to faith but they've they've shaped me in every single way
(10:14):
I have never I mean I just can't I can't imagine my life without my girlfriends and I have been so blessed to have godly women in my life that are I have a I don't know how old she is I swear she's like Benjamin but she doesn't age she's like maybe late 60s maybe 70 by now but she looks the same every time I see her
(10:37):
but she was the one that kind of led me to talk to me about Jesus when I was really really young and then I have like a spiritual mentor right now I call her my spiritual mentor but she's like my life coach she's in her 40s and then I have friends that are you know married with three kids and those friendships look very different than like my friendship with you or my best friend in Austin
(11:00):
and I'm kind of because they have husbands and kids and all those things but in the ways that they've shaped me they've just shown me Jesus and and I will forever like honestly owe my salvation to to the way that they were that vessel for the Lord and they continue to be that and they can I continue to want to dive deeper with those people and I find myself really attracted to those kinds of friendships like that's what I want
(11:26):
because I want to surround myself with people that I want to become like yes you know yes well it's the old thing you know your product of the five people you surround yourself with yep yep yep so they they've just helped me become like Jesus and it's been really cool to like the friends that are married I get to watch them be wives and learn from them the friends that are our mothers I get to there's
(11:50):
one of my close girlfriends in Austin Brogan she's like in all of us like to her she's in Lawrence yeah I'm like I know her she's the best she's the best but I look at her and I'm like I want to be that kind of wife and I want to be that kind of mother yeah and so I think like as hard as as hard as it can be when you are single and be in a different season of life than the friends that are married because you just have to have different expectations on those friends they
(12:15):
don't have capacity to to love you and to be for there for you in the ways that you're single girls and that's why you have the singles but you keep got to have to level out those expectations because it's just not fair to put anything on them but I am so blessed to look at that so yeah I guess the way that they've that my
friendships have shaped my faith is they led me to faith and then they continue to make me want to be more like Jesus in every way it's my friends it's my girlfriends I feel so blessed yeah um how is it okay I have a question for you because this is something that I do I wouldn't say I struggle with but it's
(12:51):
top of mine and things that I kind of wonder but how is it for you with your friends who are not believers I'm just staring at your bracelet that is so pretty oh you want to know the story behind this yeah the butterfly yeah okay so I'm sorry no beautiful she has this beautiful gold dainty bracelet with
a butterfly okay so when I actually last February I wonder if it's around this time I think it was end of February so I flew back to get my car from Austin and it was like maybe a month after my brutal breakup yeah and I was going back to
(13:27):
awesome for the first time I was like just pretty fragile still and like China I was just really anxious to go back and I was packing up my car and I had a couple hours can it was I think it was at the hospital or something so I was just like kind of going around the city doing some errands
picking up some things and I was like I want to go treat myself to this bracelet at this store that I loved and so I went by myself and I went and got this bracelet and the butterfly was just I was truly like a little caterpillar at the time like so broken and healing and lost and just kind of like okay
(14:03):
Lord I'm packing up my car and driving back to Nashville having no idea yeah where my life is going yeah and so I just like remember going in and put this bracelet on and then walked out and I just felt so like okay Lord I have no idea what is in store for me in anyway but I'm trusting you and
and then the next day Ken and I got in my car and drove back to Nashville from Austin with my car full of my belongings and look how you're flying now you little butterfly now literally never been that's literally never been happier so so sweet okay it's so beautiful thank you
(14:41):
no no it's a great question thank you for you it's a good reminder okay yeah great question so you were saying how does like how are my friends with yeah how is it for you with friends who are not believers and how do you navigate moments when your values or beliefs differ from those of your friends who are maintaining a strong relationship with the Lord
I think it's so oh my gosh I mean I have so much to say about this but I think my childhood friends were all raised very similarly to me Christians those girls I'm literally still friends with today we have this group we called ourselves the core for
(15:17):
I love that Anna and Jacqueline and there's still three of my best friends today which is sweet and you know each other since elementary middle school it's precious so sweet and so I think those girls have always kind of been like the core for like they're my staple girls
they've known me since I was a child and so to have that is really really special and they're kind of girls I can fall back to I can always go to they're always there they know my family they know my brothers they know everything they know every guy I've ever dated you know they just
(15:46):
know and then I think high school yeah I had a lot of great Christian friends I think the first time I remember being like wow I don't have really any believers in my life I had one moving to Colorado
I knew nobody and I feel like I was just trying to make community anywhere I got involved in a church which was great because I had believers there but just like out and about the friends that I would meet not necessarily yeah Christians and then when I moved back to Nashville I was working at a
(16:18):
at a school and I feel like the people in my community in that season of life were not walking with the Lord and funny enough it's like that was the people I was surrounding myself with and that's kind of what I started doing and I wouldn't say I walked away from faith but I mean I was out on Broadway that was that season of life like early 20s I was just going downtown a lot I was you know drinking more than I should I was looking for attention from guys and I just was not living holy
(16:47):
I was not striving for holiness I was not it was not living right so I think it depends I think it's so important it depends on where you are and who you're surrounding yourself with to be in that kind of place I was not in a place at that point to only have non believer friends and not that I didn't I mean I still had my
I mean I still had my core for I still had other believers in my life but it's like I was not investing the same amount of time in them it was just like they were there and I was really investing in these friends who did not know the Lord as a result it brought me down yeah and so it's like I think there is a time and a place to be with people who have different beliefs and values absolutely
(17:23):
yeah but you also have to still be pouring in pour into others like you still have to have that core that foundation or else you can become a part of the world so easily and like that yeah that is part of it for me and so I remember I just was like I have to get out of this season I was living in
in East Nashville just in a not great place so I moved down to Franklin I was around my family who are believers I was back with my high school girlfriends just like surrounded in this godly community it's when I started working at Ramsey a Christian organization and I was like I just got to get back on my feet
(17:57):
yeah I got to know who I am and be surrounded by people who can pour into me and remind me of that so I felt like I went through the season where the only people I was surrounded by were Christian and I was like this is great I feel better this is good and then I'm like but this is not what I'm
called to I'm called to be around people who are not believers so I can show them the love of Jesus I can tell them who God is yep and so it's like how do I find that balance of being in the world but not of the world and so I think it's I think it's really important to be in
(18:31):
the community with people who are not believers so we can be a light to them so we can show them God's love so we can invest and do ministry and whatever that looks like and also we have got to be involved in the church we've got to have our community our friends who are believers are female
friendships that know the Lord like that's so so important so kind of tangent but I think that's just my story of times where I've been around people who are believers and not and yeah I think navigating I was the second part of Christian you're really talking about navigating
(19:03):
like moments like moments like for example let's say you have a friend that I'm this all hypothetical let's say you have a friend that chooses to date somebody who doesn't love Jesus and they're now sleeping with them and and you're watching them go down a path this is where I think it gets tricky because as believers and as godly people we you know you see somebody slip away from the Lord one moment at a time it doesn't happen all at once
(19:31):
so how I struggle right now in a season of really craving you know I've got my my pillars my people my godly people my inputs are really strong and prioritizing my inputs because I'm giving out so much with my job and stuff but when you see somebody who is experiencing a moment where you differ in beliefs and values
(19:55):
that can become a pretty big pain point in a friendship and I think we're called to tell them truth I speak the truth the truth not a truth speak the truth the Bible but still loving them you know and so I am curious like how do you navigate that and I know you agree with me and like speaking the truth but also like have you had instances where it's just been
(20:21):
it's just been difficult for you to differ in your values and beliefs and moments and yeah with your girlfriends and yeah do you see a separation in your friendship like do you see a lack of intimacy with those friends versus the friends that no one loved Jesus oh yeah yeah
I think one thing is I do have friends who are dating somebody who does not know the Lord and they are sleeping together but they are also not claiming to be a Christian and so if you're not a Christian you're not called to necessarily live the like walk the walk yeah
(20:55):
so I have friends who I adore and they're finding their satisfaction in their joy I mean not real joy but fake joy their temporary happiness yeah in sleeping around yeah and it's not necessarily my job they're not my sister in Christ right it's not my job to really call her out and be like hey you know we're not supposed to do that or like the Lord calls us to a higher standard like that's
(21:19):
not my role to her if she's not choosing to walk with the Lord but because I do because I know the reason we're not supposed to do those things is not because it's like a you know angry fiery God who's gonna like strike you down but it's because he knows what's best for us
is giving our body to one man within the bounds of marriage and so because of that I can share what I know about Jesus and what Jesus says good about love but to her again if she's not a Christian then she's not called that way I can still share what my beliefs are and I have amazing friends who are not Christian
(21:57):
and I can and they let me talk about my faith and I talk about my faith and I'll be like yeah I'm not doing this because I feel like the Lord has called me to this or yeah I feel like this is really important in what I'm looking for in a man and I know that that's not what she's doing
yeah and that's okay but I think like I hope to plant seeds and let her hear why I have so much joy why I'm strong in purity because I haven't always been strong in purity but like I am because the Lord is helping me do that
(22:21):
but I think it's a whole nother story when it is somebody who I know is a believer and who is not making choices that were called to yeah because I've been there and I have needed girlfriends to look at me and be like Sarah
like those times I was living in Nashville Sarah like this is not who you are or Sarah you're not we're not called to this or hey it seems like you're you're looking for temporary pleasures like that's not that's not going to satisfy like you're looking in all the wrong places and so I think for those for friends who are believers it is kind of a different call out of of how to do that though with grace
(22:59):
love and understanding but I do think it's our job as sisters in Christ to call each other out and you've done that for me yeah and I've confessed to you at times of things I've done being like can see
SOS I have to tell you something I did like I literally remember doing that this summer and just being like I need to confess something and I need to tell I already told God I've cried to him I've journaled but I need to tell somebody else and I told you and you literally looked at me and smiled and said I love you
(23:28):
I was like what?
And you're like yeah that's not great but I love you thank you for telling me you're fine you're forgiven you're loved I was like okay and then just like and I know and you've done that for me and like I just feel there's just a different I guess I could say the word yeah intimacy like different level of intimacy with your godly women who know God like yeah and I've had to really adjust my expectations honestly with my friends that don't because I can't express
(23:59):
I can't expect them to love me the way that my godly girlfriends love me yeah and I cannot be upset at them for not being able to do that yeah because they don't have they're not connected to the vine they're not they're not going to understand forgiveness or grace or you know all the things that I feel like I obviously get to see an experience with my godly girlfriends so I feel
(24:25):
so yeah so blessed with the women that I have what would you say like what does accountability look like accountability specifically and godly female friendships and then how can that be done with grace and not judgment that's such a good question
I think accountability I think it looks in a godly female friendship accountability looks like calling each other up and and speaking the truth I think our world just lives on the latest and greatest and what's the newest and well I feel like this or I'm going to try this and you're just we just like flop around like the wind and it's like well this guy you know he's really great and he's really good to me but if he doesn't know
(25:09):
Jesus and you do I'm going to tell you that that's not okay how do you do that how do you say that well oh it's hard because I'm also like I'm not afraid of conflict by any means but I am a very gentle human I would say like I just don't come guns a blazing I really try to listen I think what's hard for me is because there's been situations like this one specifically where it's like back in my 20s well he's
(25:37):
really good guy yeah he like you know he has faith yes so it's hard for me specifically when I watch friends or people make mistakes that I've made because I know how that ends and then I'm like oh I just don't want you to have to walk down the path that I that I walked you know yeah
but what I try to do is always just be an observer and I always try to listen so that's a great way to start of like just hear what they have to say hear about the guy be supportive in a way of like hear your friend she's excited she's met a guy awesome
(26:08):
and then I tried to it's actually funny that we're talking about this I I I've been in this situation very recently where I just spoke of the things that I noticed that I really liked about this gentleman he was really sweet to her and really good to her and she's really excited and I want to be someone I want to always be that person that she comes to
you for the good and for the bad and then I also just got to say you know how I really feel because he's not a believer he's not a believer and she is and she is okay and I he doesn't know Jesus he just doesn't know Jesus and I don't understand how with you knowing Jesus
(26:46):
and him not but nonetheless it's her decision and I thought that's your decision and and it's hard because yeah like I've walked on that path before I've had somebody say that to me and I'm just like but he you know and I was young and he's great he's great he's so cute and he's so good to me and I've never felt so
and that those are all wonderful things you can meet wonderful people there are wonderful people out there that don't know Jesus but I think accountability is key I think accountability in purity is really important you know I
(27:17):
really I'm my best friend and I are very she's in a relationship right now I'm single so it's not really concerned for me but for her we just we have very open dialogue about it and we pray for each I pray for her specifically for for her
relationship and for them to continue to walk obedient to the Lord when it comes to their purity and I think it's really important to have an accountability partner like in a direct accountability partner and so maybe even talk about yeah what does that look like
(27:46):
what what what what is accountability look like in female friendships how do y'all specifically do that
well we're very honest and open like I tell canna and I tell you like everything yeah and canna tells mom's calling her out but she tells me everything yeah and I know she's got godly women in Austin to that she talks to
so I think again it goes back to having those godly people and again you when you are open and honest with each other it's how iron will continue to sharpen iron if I want to become a better person I just can't tell my friends all the good stuff
(28:21):
I also am a terrible liar I can't fake it I'm very honest and authentic and I want to be able to share like I've been sharing some fears with you specifically about just like my struggle with continuing to have courage to hope and the fears that I have and just being able to tell you these things that may feel
silly but then for you to speak truth into that so I think accountability literally has to start with like raw honesty and and never make somebody ever feel shameful about that you know if they come to you and they're like hey I messed up here
(28:57):
physically or I had this really ugly thought or this is what I'm believing right now and I know I told you the other day that I'm like feeling this way and then now I'm like man the enemies I think really got in hold and then that way when you can go to your sister in that and she can come back and say here's what I know is true
it's fighting the enemy and it's like covering it's double down and covering each other in prayer and that's why I just think like what to your point I think we are called to be no not I think I know we are called to be disciples of all nations and love people that don't love the Lord
(29:30):
but the thing that I've learned over the course of my life is to be very intentional about who I share what with yeah yeah and yet to hold the friendships that don't have the same beliefs and values very loosely because a lot of times like things could go away and you just I've had friends walk away from me and I didn't understand it
(29:54):
but they didn't know the Lord they didn't want to fight for that friendship or walk through it or talk through it so I think accountability just comes down to being honest and being open and being raw with each other and loving each other no matter what
and something you just said made me think about this like an accounting part and accountability partner who is morally aligned with yes like values.
(30:18):
Faith because I can go to some girlfriends I know the girlfriends I can get to and tell them things and they're like that's awesome how was it like oh my gosh you're gonna go out with him again like he's so cute he has this he has that
and I know that they will encourage me in this and I'm like yeah yeah yeah I'm gonna go another day it was so fun he did this we went to you know and then I know that I can go to you and tell you the exact same story and you're like Sarah.
(30:41):
Why are you going out with him he doesn't treat you right he doesn't love the Lord he's not your guy you know and it's just like so who your accountability partner is yeah I think really matters because we can find the right people to tell us what we want to hear
and I have certain people that I'm like I know I can tell and they will just hype me up no matter what I'm doing yeah and support me but I'm like that's not accountability no like I need somebody to look at me and be like Sarah that's not it that's not who the Lord has for you.
(31:12):
That's the easy life that's like the easy road and I've done that I've literally I know exactly who to go to when I knew in my gut that what I was doing wasn't right or but he's such a good guy again back in my 20s where I was just like he's a really good person.
Yeah, like you can date a really good person. Yeah, if you want to follow Jesus and you claim to be a follower of Jesus it is your responsibility to surround yourself and invest and cling to the people that are going to tell you things you don't want to hear.
(31:42):
We can manipulate it till we're blue in the face but like I don't want a life like that. Yeah, and you can always tell in your gut when you're justifying it like I can tell when my friends like they know I'm going to tell them what I think.
And so a lot of times they just don't really start they stop telling me stuff and I'm like okay I know and like I can't force them to tell me anything they know I'll be there for them when it falls and fails and they get hurt.
(32:09):
But until then it's like okay I can't force you but you know like in your gut you're like I'm justifying this and yeah I just think I think also it comes with life experience you and I both just being at our age now and walking through things that we've walked through we're just like yeah we just know how we want to do it.
We want to do it the Jesus way. The only way. The only way. The only way. Yeah. Yeah and on this topic too it's so wild I got a text I've always been moved from a friend.
(32:38):
And she's asking for some prayer and it was on female friendships while we were driving I was driving down to record with you and I was like okay Lord.
We are on the right track and so this is actually something I told her in my voice mail back was that I that I have experienced and so she basically was just saying hey like I feel like I need to step back or away from this one friendship she doesn't know the word the way that I do and she's really negative and I feel like I
(33:04):
always feel really bad when I leave time with her and you know what do I do and I just feel like it's time to end the friendship and and I listened and I know both of these people so I I was like oh gosh this is so on point because I understand what she's going through.
So some of the things I just told her were like first and foremost there is going to be a different level of intimacy like I've said earlier in this podcast of friendship and like with somebody that loves the Lord and somebody that doesn't love the Lord.
(33:34):
Yeah.
And I told her we're called to and this is a friend that is like so on fire for Jesus she's new to faith and and so I just said we're called to make disciples of all nations so I want you to guard your heart and just know that there are certain things kind of like what I said earlier that you just you can't tell or you can't
(33:59):
tell but know that you can't expect godly biblical wisdom back and so the way that I've had to adjust my expectations is just adjusting what I tell people and that's hard for me because I like to share everything I wear my heart in my
sleeve but I've had to learn okay using discernment on who you share what with and not holding bitterness or frustration or anger towards the people that you can't share that with that you once could because it's not fair to them that they can't
(34:28):
hold that space for you they don't know how they were never taught they don't know the Lord and if they do kind of know the Lord but they're not in a place where you want to be that's okay but I do think that we have different types of friendships and I think
different friendships have different strengths and different weaknesses but I do think we're called to not cut people out just because they don't love the Lord but I think you can guard your heart from them and the way that you do that is just be selective in what you share
(34:56):
absolutely and don't expect them and don't be mad at them because they don't tell you something that you want to hear or you feel like worse when you leave them than when you were when you were with them I would say that's probably an indicator that you spend less time with them
but they probably also an indicator that they need you in their life they need your life they need your love they need so kind of knowing hey when you go in with that friendship maybe you're the one that's giving the advice maybe you're the one that's pouring out and that's exhausting so make sure that you protect your heart in that
(35:30):
have very loose expectations love them like the Lord would and then make sure that you're going to people where you can have really solid inputs and you're being poured back in yeah if you're not doing that you're going to feel very depleted and then you're going to have nothing to give and you're going to be frustrated and I can say because I've been there
and I think I use this a lot with my life coaching clients it's like okay think about your circles like we have we have circles of friends and this is something I had to learn to it's like when I was in college I played soccer I had I was in nursing school so I had that whole community and I was in a sorority and I had that
(36:06):
whole group of girls I had so many friends and I still was keeping up with friends in high school and my middle school friends and I just like felt like my world was so big so my circle was so big and I was like I'm trying to be a good friend to all these people and I'm trying to keep up with all these people and do all these things and know everything about their life but then I'm missing everybody's
birthdays because it's everybody's birthday every day yeah I don't know how to be a good friend yeah and I realized the big circle so like think about there's three layers of circles and this outer circle is all these people that I know it's the people that I see at work at school
(36:38):
it's sorority whatever it was all those is that big circle of friends and I'm nice to them I know their name and they know my name and ask how their week was and I'm going to be intentional when I'm with them in that moment but outside of that like that's exhausting and depleting I can't do that with everybody no then I have this
middle circle this middle circle they know who I'm dating they know what's going on they know the highs and lows they know me fairly well but then this inner circle and it's like this inner and I think in that middle circle to oftentimes is we can have friends who are non believers as well but it's like in that inner circle like you said that's where the
(37:16):
intimacy happens the accountability the deep deep friendship that's the ones that I'm telling you the details of what happened on the day I'm telling you the details of what the enemy is lying to me about in my head I'm telling you the hopes the dreams the failures and everything to detail that way you can look at me
and say like hey Sarah that's not true or hey Sarah let me remind you of who you are and if I were to do that and tell all of those things to that massive group one I'm exhausted to they don't need to know all of that and it's just like it's spreading
(37:50):
I think myself so thin and so it's like an exercise I'll do with girls is like put your people in your circles and say who is in the front row who is in the inner circle and honestly sometimes it's three people it yeah it's it's three people like you know and I think the middle circle it can be you know five to seven
and then that big circle is everybody else yeah and knowing where people go and so it's like yeah maybe your girlfriend who sent you that voice memo had somebody in her inner circle who maybe just needs to go a row back yeah and that's okay and that's okay that's such I love that visualization is so good because I think
(38:22):
we as women can be so hard on ourselves about not being able to keep up with all these people and like we're not meant to and to know the vulnerability intimacy of my heart is not only a privilege but it's also something that I hold very sacred and I don't want to just give it out freely and I used to and I like you said I used to feel really exhausted and so I think I have
there's three maybe three or four women that know the intimate details of my heart it's like you my mom I'm into our kind of you know and maybe like one or two others that like but again they don't really hear everything because I'm a big believer and it's not because I don't love them
(39:00):
any less I just it's a different type of love and it's a different type of expectation and I think for me the women that I am telling everything to it's like I look to them and I go okay I want to be more like you you know and I want we have the same values and beliefs and and that doesn't make me
any better than anybody that I don't share those things with it just makes me different and it makes me wanting a different type of life and so I think holding that with a lot of grace for the people that aren't there yet because I think also remembering like I was once twenty six and living
(39:37):
worldly in a relationship or doing this and that and and I want to be able to be somebody that women can come to on the other side of whatever they're walking through and being like I wish I would have done it for you it's like yeah me too at the time yeah but now I'm here
yeah so let's walk through that together so that's good it's it's navigating that those is it's hard yeah I want to like with girls there can always be girl drama.
(40:00):
Like I think what what are hard things that you hear or have experienced that are hard and friendships because I know I think jealousy yeah comparison yeah.
Miss communication competition like those are things I think of top of mind what makes friendships hard yeah and how do we ever come that and what do we do in that have you experienced that yeah yeah no definitely.
(40:25):
So I experienced a lot of like jealousy and competition a lot younger I feel like like in high school I was bullied in high school I was bullied in middle school but girls.
Oh yeah girls are mean yeah it was mostly because I mean you learn it kind of my mom would always be like it's because they're jealous and it was usually like the boy that they liked liked me and so I remember I can remember the it's funny how I can remember the person's like first and last name and what they were doing because the boy that she liked like me and they were like throwing tar at me.
(40:54):
At the playground and like tar yeah it was the principal's daughter to and I got our our playground instead of gravel was like bits of tar terrible.
Oh my gosh I experienced a lot of that younger and I think nowadays I watch it I think the okay I know the Lord has given me a heart of just like pure joy from my friends who are getting the thing I desire the most.
(41:20):
Oh my gosh I see that in you it's just been such a sweet sweet thing that he's given me and I then have to make sure that I have a heart for the people that are experiencing jealousy but it is hard for me because I'm like how can we be jealous of this of our friend getting the thing that we love that or that she's been praying for and
(41:43):
I'm just so sorry so I think I see a lot of jealousy and women that are watching their friends meet people and meet their people that they're dating that turns into their and fiance and their husband and they go well what about me and I want to like shake them and be like your turns coming but let's
celebrate them you know so I haven't experienced jealousy in my like my heart has not been jealous for my friends that are getting engaged and getting married which is truly from the Lord because it makes no sense for me to not have jealousy for that I have a joy.
(42:15):
But you're such a celebrator of people. Yeah I think that is who you are. Yeah but yeah it's the Lord. It is the Lord and I think the way that to combat the jealousy is just to go man like it will be your turn one day and like don't you want those people to clap for you when it's your turn like it will be
your turn and we can't all get the same thing at the same time. Yeah but I think I think unfortunately women are so competitive with each other based on look and boys and what they do for a living I don't think it's as much about money I think guys are maybe
(42:49):
more competitive with you know money and who makes more money I think girls it's like who's dating who and what you physically look like and it's really sad and I've lost friends over it because I think jealousy can just eat away at your heart and it can destroy the
thief of joy yeah and it's been hard for sure but I do know it's possible to combat that jealousy with just like taking your eyes off yourself and going like oh my gosh praise God that she's found that person.
(43:21):
That's it right there that's the key. Just take your eyes off yourself and see. See. And be able to celebrate where they are. Yeah. Don't take that moment from them because you're still focused on the fact that like well there's another friend that's now not going to be single with me
it's like well guess what you're if you have the Lord like you should never feel lonely in my opinion like you're gonna have moments of loneliness I have moments of loneliness where I'm very aware that I'm single but it is possible to have a posture where you're like
(43:49):
okay Lord I know you've got you're saving someone extra special for me and you have to think that even when you don't feel it a lot of the time yeah because the worst thing I think could happen is you regret not having more joy for your friend who is deserves to be celebrated
because you're so focused on your focus on yourself and yeah it's a terrible it's a terrible way to live and it's only going to affect you and it's only gonna affect your days yeah you know and like wouldn't you rather be so overjoyed for your friend and like it's
(44:22):
gonna make your life better if you're loving on them and then again like wait it's gonna be your turn one day and don't you want to be like love how you would want to be loved like how you would want to be celebrated and like go to the end of the earth for that person for their bachelorette their bridal shower all the wedding festivities like they get to do this one time so
yeah in your turns coming but you know God sees that to like and he will honor that you know so yeah jealousy can eat away but we can combat that very easily just by the posture of our hearts I believe that's good it's a great question so question because we're talking about
(45:01):
the relationships and friendships how do we cultivate deeper God-centered friendships which you say I mean I think so much of what you said the intimacy and vulnerability openness finding that community I mean I guess I think about the friends I have who are my deepest closest
friends they're all believers wanting to be more like Jesus striving for holiness and the same arena as each other with fighting for the same things whether single or married because some of my very best friends like Jacqueline is one of my very best friends and she's married and doesn't
(45:38):
change you know Brittany Anna like all those core four girls I was talking about they're all some of my very best friends and they're married with a couple of them have kids but I think the reason we're so close is because we get together and it's just like what's Lord teaching you like what's going on in your life and I think when we talk about what the Lord is doing there I don't know I guess it's just there's that that intimacy
(46:00):
intimacy I talked about the Lord praying I feel like praying together yeah you've been so amazing just like I know you've been covering me in prayer and and vice versa and I think that's a huge thing that I'm also learning in this season of like okay I'm just gonna cover them in prayer and like
Ken and I are also into we're in different not only different cities but she's in a serious relationship and like you said it's just it doesn't have to it doesn't have to change it's the Lord and like what we're what we're actually talking about and what God's teaching us and prayers like been such a great way to but I love what you said about just like having that
(46:38):
intimacy and going deeper and asking biblical godly questions and creating the space to be intentional because like yes I think about Brittany she's somebody I see every single week because we're in a Bible study together and so we get to go deeper but like if we didn't do that and didn't have the time like we you have to create time
she's three kids yeah she has to be intentional about is her husband home can he watch them sometimes she and I will meet up before to have some time before we meet with group you know it's just like having to find that time and then I'll tell her things and then she's not afraid to push the button and ask one more deeper
(47:12):
question good I got say something she's like okay so what are the actual details what happened yeah I'm like I just told you she's like like how far did you go yeah and I'm like oh you know like oh but she's going to ask and I'm so comfortable telling her that you know and and then I'll tell her like I'm not going to talk to this guy again and she's like okay and then next week so we talk to him
and I'm like well yes she's like Sarah you know like she's just not afraid of those things something that happened last month we were talking about word of the month and we were encouraging each other and she's like I've never really done that I need accountability with it I was like okay well let's think right now what are you going through
(47:44):
love what is the Lord teaching you so good sir and so it's like in that moment we're like okay well let's call each other out what is it and she's like you need to follow up with me like I need to I need to find a verse that you know to put with my word to like really be praying and like like studying that scripture I'm like okay two days later a texture so Brett what's your verse
she's like okay and she says me what she's been reading in the Bible and it's like we have to push that button yes dig deeper and I will dig dig dig and I know she'll dig with me to have people like that in our lives that we're intentional about and she's somebody that's close in my life proximity so I'm able to do that with like you I see you all the time I do that with you and then I have friends who I don't see all the time but Jacqueline summer those are two of my girlfriends in other states you know Logan I'm able to call up
(48:28):
yeah or send a video message or have that intentional to say what's really going on yeah I love that because it is possible even if your best friend doesn't live in the same city or the ones that you're feeling really close to don't live here it's like well then you just have to be extra intentional
yeah you know there's a way to do it there's there's always a way to keep those friendships close even if it looks a little bit different you know but I really feel like if there are godly women in your life and you're blessed to have them like just dive deeper
(48:56):
yeah make the effort it's so worth it and if you're looking for that church is a great place to start yeah get involved in a house church or a Bible study or small group or such good advice you know reach out to somebody and get one on one time with them I mean there's just there's so many ways to do it and women we love to talk so just take a coffee and like go on a friend date you know I think that's such a good that's so good and I remember when I moved back here I like I said you came out of nowhere
(49:22):
I'm pretty sure thank goodness like I had you but it's like I remember I also found my friend Madeline who I've shared about like I found her on social media on Instagram and I knew she loves fitness she has the Lord she was single I could tell she was dating a guy but not married and I was like I want to be her friend and I'm like I literally asked her out I was like I love it literally
literally do you want to go on a walk or get coffee and we get together bam we're like instantly talking about healthy eating no seed oils just like all this in common and it was so fun and it's it's kind of like we laugh talking about our first hangout was like a first date of just
(49:55):
yeah the way it is but it is and sometimes you you do you kind of find who are these people that are walking the walk and I want to get to know and reach out be intentional and vest and somebody has to be the first one to be vulnerable to share really what's going on and then I think time and experience
strengthens those relationships yeah no I love that well I think female friendships are so important and I'm glad we talked about this today because I think it's there's so much to female friendships and they can be hard and they can also be one of the great they are one of the greatest gifts
(50:28):
yeah the Lord they were fighting for worth fighting for yeah so good remember proverbs 2717 as iron sharpens iron one person sharpens another so good friendships are such a gift so important to invest in we're not meant to do life alone
let's be intentional our friendships invest deeply and as always remember even if he is still good
(51:15):
you
(51:45):
you
(52:15):
you
(52:45):
you
Welcome back to the Even If Podcast. I'm Kenzie and I'm Sarah and today's episode is all about
(00:08):
female friendships. So we are going to dive right in. Yeah girl and talk about female friendships.
And we wanted to start with what does a Bible say about friendships? And so we wanted to open up with
Proverbs 2717 which says as iron sharpens iron so one person sharpens another. I love that verse. I love that verse too.
(00:31):
And I think there's a lot about friendship and stories about friends within the Bible but that's such a great verse
and thinking about what good godly friendships are like and I think you are that for me. You're that for me.
I'm just like sharpening me like I think about our friendship and how it's first of all changed so much throughout the years.
(00:52):
Yeah. Of knowing each other and how you have been somebody who has truly sharpened me in so many ways in business and life and my
relationship with the Lord and how I have relationships with men. And I think that's so cool how the Lord gives us people to do that with.
Oh yeah. Yeah. I think female friendships is and for me my female friendships are outside of my relationship with Jesus like the most
(01:24):
important thing in my life. And I don't know what I did. I know I don't deserve it but I would say I have the best the best female
friendships. And you are you are right there like top of that list because I am just also just so grateful for the way that the Lord
(01:45):
has. We're just talking about this before we started recording just our friendship over the years we met when we were what 2625 I was 26 you were 25.
Yeah. 26. So it's been eight years of friendship and now we're and we've gone through just like working together. Which that's yeah I think our
(02:06):
story is even yeah we shared a little bit about it on episode one but of we started as co-workers. And I mean I remember were you part of my
interview process. I think so. I think I like I remember Olivia and Michelle yeah which is hilarious that the girls who interviewed me became some of my best friends.
Yeah it's so wild. But yeah I think you were part of it. I remember emailing you to like set up my interview. Yeah. So yeah we started as just kind of
(02:36):
formal co-workers. I don't know as formals you and I get. Yeah. Once upon a time in the corporate world. And yeah what did that
friendship like that friendship started as yeah co-workers doing we were both assistants serving team lead leader and so I think we did like work
emails back and forth and then it turned into how are you. Yeah. I do want to hang out outside of work and sharing books and fun things with each
(03:05):
other talking about boys giggling under our desks. Literally. Yeah. And then our friendship honestly kind of changed after that. I mean we got
I think we did we were close for a while like I remember going and laying out at the pool with you and doing dinners and things in groups. But I feel
like our friendship when you left that job I left shortly after a couple months after. Yeah I think we both were about the same time. Yeah.
(03:34):
And we kind of stopped talking. Yeah. I think it's interesting when you do daily life with people and you see them every day and then you
don't. It's really easy to well it's just probably also pretty common to just not talk every day unless you're making like an exuberant effort. Yeah you have to be
(03:58):
intentional and you have to be really intentional and we were in our what late 20s at that point or like mid 20s. So yeah we kind of we just
nothing bad happened. We just kind of stopped talking. You moved to Colorado. Yeah. I moved I left that job and moved to Colorado and you had just
started full ride. Yeah. And so I think we were kind of just both doing our yeah and it's not like anything happened. We just moved on. Yeah. And we're
(04:24):
doing other things and our attention was elsewhere. I remember still like obviously we would message back and forth occasionally like
social media. But I don't think we kept up a ton in that season. Right. No I don't think so. And then I don't know. I see a lot of all I see is
really black. I think I blacked out a couple years of my life. COVID. What happened there starting a business. But I do remember we both
(04:51):
I moved to Austin. You moved to Charleston and we would DM each other. We would text each other sometimes about like honestly our relationships. Yeah.
That we were in at the time. Yeah. Which is so funny that so interesting. We wanted to do that. Yeah. Probably because when we were working together we talked so
much about relationships that if you ever saw me post something. Yeah. You would text me and be like is this guy. Yeah. Or what's this about. Yeah. And I think we would always talk about how
(05:16):
we're praying for each other. Yeah. On our single girls list. Yep. Yes. And I was like you're on my list and I would just do that. Yeah. I need to do it again.
It's been a little while but I would write a list of the single girls I'm praying for. And you were always on that list for years. Which is funny. Yeah. I think we just sweet. Yeah. Yeah.
And then it wasn't till we started texting about me moving back to Nashville and starting a podcast together that our friendship took another turn. Yep.
(05:45):
And we got closer. Yeah. So close. And honestly I told Sarah this last week but truly one of if not the best gift God gave me in twenty twenty four with Sarah because not only having her back but also just having her in a season that is so similar.
Like we're both walking in singleness in our 30s loving the Lord deeply chasing after him. We love our lives. We were close with our family now we both live close to our families. So and we have both friends that are married with kids and friends that are married and we're we have women that we're leading in singleness and yeah it's just it's so just I feel so held to have you and to walk through things with you.
(06:30):
And it's been such a gift like and to know that God is that good and that kind to be like here's someone that you already trust. You already love. You're going to do this podcast together where you're going to use the things that I've walked through with you to help other women.
And then in the process this is going to hold you through your singleness because we don't it's very rare to have women that have the same values that love the same things that you do to have the same like humor have so much fun together love Jesus.
(07:05):
We do and we're both single still I know because it does look very different when your friends are married because it just does their lives are just different. Yeah you know what I have somebody to that's like you're not 28 and singling.
I know that is hard because I was 28 and it was hard to be in your 30s and still feel this is such a gift that our lives are parallel right now. And it's like I also think we found each other. You know it didn't just like happen. No I think because of probably our circumstances is what led us to
(07:38):
together and then to and then we just became closer because of where we're at and our intentionality. Yes and wanting that but it's like yeah there are times where I have longed for this friendship or something like that like I remember when I first moved to Charleston I knew nobody
there and I prayed on my prayer list I was like my number one thing is that I want one girlfriend to be close with and within my first couple months there I met a girl we're at a concert she was the exact same age as me Wow both 30 both single she talked about the church she went to
(08:16):
we talked about surfing skating we're both wearing vans we both like we're at this like indie concert which is honestly so not me I was like wait what yeah I don't know but we were there and just like had so much in common and hit it off it was Logan Logan
I already know okay yeah yeah yeah sorry but this is Logan and she and I just hit it off and instantly became friends and funny how the Lord used our story a year later I was her roommate and we were living together and going through a relationship together and break up and it was just like she was the biggest answer
(08:47):
that I had in Charleston I was like I want one close really really close godly single girlfriend and she was that and it's like then I came back here and I was literally praying that same prayer and I didn't even have you in mind like I didn't even have anybody in mind I just was like Lord I want this I want this I want this and then you came out of nowhere
and I was like that is the answer prayer yeah of having that and so how cool that in his timing he orchestrates that to bring people together for that I love that and I think honestly I will say to all the ladies listening you guys prioritize your female friendships
(09:23):
whether you're single whether you're dating whether you're engaged or married like you need your girls you need your girls and so having Sarah has been the greatest gift being back in Nashville and walking through primarily singleness and just where our hearts are at and our longs to be we both want to be
moms so badly and so we get to hold each other in that and encourage each other in that it's been such a freaking gift such a gift how would you say female friendships have shaped your faith
(09:52):
hmm well I mean honestly my female friendships in college led me to faith and then and then have sustained me and just have taught me like truly the hands and feet of Jesus have been the women in my life and they've they've not only led me to faith but they've they've shaped me in every single way
(10:14):
I have never I mean I just can't I can't imagine my life without my girlfriends and I have been so blessed to have godly women in my life that are I have a I don't know how old she is I swear she's like Benjamin but she doesn't age she's like maybe late 60s maybe 70 by now but she looks the same every time I see her
(10:37):
but she was the one that kind of led me to talk to me about Jesus when I was really really young and then I have like a spiritual mentor right now I call her my spiritual mentor but she's like my life coach she's in her 40s and then I have friends that are you know married with three kids and those friendships look very different than like my friendship with you or my best friend in Austin
(11:00):
and I'm kind of because they have husbands and kids and all those things but in the ways that they've shaped me they've just shown me Jesus and and I will forever like honestly owe my salvation to to the way that they were that vessel for the Lord and they continue to be that and they can I continue to want to dive deeper with those people and I find myself really attracted to those kinds of friendships like that's what I want
(11:26):
because I want to surround myself with people that I want to become like yes you know yes well it's the old thing you know your product of the five people you surround yourself with yep yep yep so they they've just helped me become like Jesus and it's been really cool to like the friends that are married I get to watch them be wives and learn from them the friends that are our mothers I get to there's
(11:50):
one of my close girlfriends in Austin Brogan she's like in all of us like to her she's in Lawrence yeah I'm like I know her she's the best she's the best but I look at her and I'm like I want to be that kind of wife and I want to be that kind of mother yeah and so I think like as hard as as hard as it can be when you are single and be in a different season of life than the friends that are married because you just have to have different expectations on those friends they
(12:15):
don't have capacity to to love you and to be for there for you in the ways that you're single girls and that's why you have the singles but you keep got to have to level out those expectations because it's just not fair to put anything on them but I am so blessed to look at that so yeah I guess the way that they've that my
friendships have shaped my faith is they led me to faith and then they continue to make me want to be more like Jesus in every way it's my friends it's my girlfriends I feel so blessed yeah um how is it okay I have a question for you because this is something that I do I wouldn't say I struggle with but it's
(12:51):
top of mine and things that I kind of wonder but how is it for you with your friends who are not believers I'm just staring at your bracelet that is so pretty oh you want to know the story behind this yeah the butterfly yeah okay so I'm sorry no beautiful she has this beautiful gold dainty bracelet with
a butterfly okay so when I actually last February I wonder if it's around this time I think it was end of February so I flew back to get my car from Austin and it was like maybe a month after my brutal breakup yeah and I was going back to
(13:27):
awesome for the first time I was like just pretty fragile still and like China I was just really anxious to go back and I was packing up my car and I had a couple hours can it was I think it was at the hospital or something so I was just like kind of going around the city doing some errands
picking up some things and I was like I want to go treat myself to this bracelet at this store that I loved and so I went by myself and I went and got this bracelet and the butterfly was just I was truly like a little caterpillar at the time like so broken and healing and lost and just kind of like okay
(14:03):
Lord I'm packing up my car and driving back to Nashville having no idea yeah where my life is going yeah and so I just like remember going in and put this bracelet on and then walked out and I just felt so like okay Lord I have no idea what is in store for me in anyway but I'm trusting you and
and then the next day Ken and I got in my car and drove back to Nashville from Austin with my car full of my belongings and look how you're flying now you little butterfly now literally never been that's literally never been happier so so sweet okay it's so beautiful thank you
(14:41):
no no it's a great question thank you for you it's a good reminder okay yeah great question so you were saying how does like how are my friends with yeah how is it for you with friends who are not believers and how do you navigate moments when your values or beliefs differ from those of your friends who are maintaining a strong relationship with the Lord
I think it's so oh my gosh I mean I have so much to say about this but I think my childhood friends were all raised very similarly to me Christians those girls I'm literally still friends with today we have this group we called ourselves the core for
(15:17):
I love that Anna and Jacqueline and there's still three of my best friends today which is sweet and you know each other since elementary middle school it's precious so sweet and so I think those girls have always kind of been like the core for like they're my staple girls
they've known me since I was a child and so to have that is really really special and they're kind of girls I can fall back to I can always go to they're always there they know my family they know my brothers they know everything they know every guy I've ever dated you know they just
(15:46):
know and then I think high school yeah I had a lot of great Christian friends I think the first time I remember being like wow I don't have really any believers in my life I had one moving to Colorado
I knew nobody and I feel like I was just trying to make community anywhere I got involved in a church which was great because I had believers there but just like out and about the friends that I would meet not necessarily yeah Christians and then when I moved back to Nashville I was working at a
(16:18):
at a school and I feel like the people in my community in that season of life were not walking with the Lord and funny enough it's like that was the people I was surrounding myself with and that's kind of what I started doing and I wouldn't say I walked away from faith but I mean I was out on Broadway that was that season of life like early 20s I was just going downtown a lot I was you know drinking more than I should I was looking for attention from guys and I just was not living holy
(16:47):
I was not striving for holiness I was not it was not living right so I think it depends I think it's so important it depends on where you are and who you're surrounding yourself with to be in that kind of place I was not in a place at that point to only have non believer friends and not that I didn't I mean I still had my
I mean I still had my core for I still had other believers in my life but it's like I was not investing the same amount of time in them it was just like they were there and I was really investing in these friends who did not know the Lord as a result it brought me down yeah and so it's like I think there is a time and a place to be with people who have different beliefs and values absolutely
(17:23):
yeah but you also have to still be pouring in pour into others like you still have to have that core that foundation or else you can become a part of the world so easily and like that yeah that is part of it for me and so I remember I just was like I have to get out of this season I was living in
in East Nashville just in a not great place so I moved down to Franklin I was around my family who are believers I was back with my high school girlfriends just like surrounded in this godly community it's when I started working at Ramsey a Christian organization and I was like I just got to get back on my feet
(17:57):
yeah I got to know who I am and be surrounded by people who can pour into me and remind me of that so I felt like I went through the season where the only people I was surrounded by were Christian and I was like this is great I feel better this is good and then I'm like but this is not what I'm
called to I'm called to be around people who are not believers so I can show them the love of Jesus I can tell them who God is yep and so it's like how do I find that balance of being in the world but not of the world and so I think it's I think it's really important to be in
(18:31):
the community with people who are not believers so we can be a light to them so we can show them God's love so we can invest and do ministry and whatever that looks like and also we have got to be involved in the church we've got to have our community our friends who are believers are female
friendships that know the Lord like that's so so important so kind of tangent but I think that's just my story of times where I've been around people who are believers and not and yeah I think navigating I was the second part of Christian you're really talking about navigating
(19:03):
like moments like moments like for example let's say you have a friend that I'm this all hypothetical let's say you have a friend that chooses to date somebody who doesn't love Jesus and they're now sleeping with them and and you're watching them go down a path this is where I think it gets tricky because as believers and as godly people we you know you see somebody slip away from the Lord one moment at a time it doesn't happen all at once
(19:31):
so how I struggle right now in a season of really craving you know I've got my my pillars my people my godly people my inputs are really strong and prioritizing my inputs because I'm giving out so much with my job and stuff but when you see somebody who is experiencing a moment where you differ in beliefs and values
(19:55):
that can become a pretty big pain point in a friendship and I think we're called to tell them truth I speak the truth the truth not a truth speak the truth the Bible but still loving them you know and so I am curious like how do you navigate that and I know you agree with me and like speaking the truth but also like have you had instances where it's just been
(20:21):
it's just been difficult for you to differ in your values and beliefs and moments and yeah with your girlfriends and yeah do you see a separation in your friendship like do you see a lack of intimacy with those friends versus the friends that no one loved Jesus oh yeah yeah
I think one thing is I do have friends who are dating somebody who does not know the Lord and they are sleeping together but they are also not claiming to be a Christian and so if you're not a Christian you're not called to necessarily live the like walk the walk yeah
(20:55):
so I have friends who I adore and they're finding their satisfaction in their joy I mean not real joy but fake joy their temporary happiness yeah in sleeping around yeah and it's not necessarily my job they're not my sister in Christ right it's not my job to really call her out and be like hey you know we're not supposed to do that or like the Lord calls us to a higher standard like that's
(21:19):
not my role to her if she's not choosing to walk with the Lord but because I do because I know the reason we're not supposed to do those things is not because it's like a you know angry fiery God who's gonna like strike you down but it's because he knows what's best for us
is giving our body to one man within the bounds of marriage and so because of that I can share what I know about Jesus and what Jesus says good about love but to her again if she's not a Christian then she's not called that way I can still share what my beliefs are and I have amazing friends who are not Christian
(21:57):
and I can and they let me talk about my faith and I talk about my faith and I'll be like yeah I'm not doing this because I feel like the Lord has called me to this or yeah I feel like this is really important in what I'm looking for in a man and I know that that's not what she's doing
yeah and that's okay but I think like I hope to plant seeds and let her hear why I have so much joy why I'm strong in purity because I haven't always been strong in purity but like I am because the Lord is helping me do that
(22:21):
but I think it's a whole nother story when it is somebody who I know is a believer and who is not making choices that were called to yeah because I've been there and I have needed girlfriends to look at me and be like Sarah
like those times I was living in Nashville Sarah like this is not who you are or Sarah you're not we're not called to this or hey it seems like you're you're looking for temporary pleasures like that's not that's not going to satisfy like you're looking in all the wrong places and so I think for those for friends who are believers it is kind of a different call out of of how to do that though with grace
(22:59):
love and understanding but I do think it's our job as sisters in Christ to call each other out and you've done that for me yeah and I've confessed to you at times of things I've done being like can see
SOS I have to tell you something I did like I literally remember doing that this summer and just being like I need to confess something and I need to tell I already told God I've cried to him I've journaled but I need to tell somebody else and I told you and you literally looked at me and smiled and said I love you
(23:28):
I was like what?
And you're like yeah that's not great but I love you thank you for telling me you're fine you're forgiven you're loved I was like okay and then just like and I know and you've done that for me and like I just feel there's just a different I guess I could say the word yeah intimacy like different level of intimacy with your godly women who know God like yeah and I've had to really adjust my expectations honestly with my friends that don't because I can't express
(23:59):
I can't expect them to love me the way that my godly girlfriends love me yeah and I cannot be upset at them for not being able to do that yeah because they don't have they're not connected to the vine they're not they're not going to understand forgiveness or grace or you know all the things that I feel like I obviously get to see an experience with my godly girlfriends so I feel
(24:25):
so yeah so blessed with the women that I have what would you say like what does accountability look like accountability specifically and godly female friendships and then how can that be done with grace and not judgment that's such a good question
I think accountability I think it looks in a godly female friendship accountability looks like calling each other up and and speaking the truth I think our world just lives on the latest and greatest and what's the newest and well I feel like this or I'm going to try this and you're just we just like flop around like the wind and it's like well this guy you know he's really great and he's really good to me but if he doesn't know
(25:09):
Jesus and you do I'm going to tell you that that's not okay how do you do that how do you say that well oh it's hard because I'm also like I'm not afraid of conflict by any means but I am a very gentle human I would say like I just don't come guns a blazing I really try to listen I think what's hard for me is because there's been situations like this one specifically where it's like back in my 20s well he's
(25:37):
really good guy yeah he like you know he has faith yes so it's hard for me specifically when I watch friends or people make mistakes that I've made because I know how that ends and then I'm like oh I just don't want you to have to walk down the path that I that I walked you know yeah
but what I try to do is always just be an observer and I always try to listen so that's a great way to start of like just hear what they have to say hear about the guy be supportive in a way of like hear your friend she's excited she's met a guy awesome
(26:08):
and then I tried to it's actually funny that we're talking about this I I I've been in this situation very recently where I just spoke of the things that I noticed that I really liked about this gentleman he was really sweet to her and really good to her and she's really excited and I want to be someone I want to always be that person that she comes to
you for the good and for the bad and then I also just got to say you know how I really feel because he's not a believer he's not a believer and she is and she is okay and I he doesn't know Jesus he just doesn't know Jesus and I don't understand how with you knowing Jesus
(26:46):
and him not but nonetheless it's her decision and I thought that's your decision and and it's hard because yeah like I've walked on that path before I've had somebody say that to me and I'm just like but he you know and I was young and he's great he's great he's so cute and he's so good to me and I've never felt so
and that those are all wonderful things you can meet wonderful people there are wonderful people out there that don't know Jesus but I think accountability is key I think accountability in purity is really important you know I
(27:17):
really I'm my best friend and I are very she's in a relationship right now I'm single so it's not really concerned for me but for her we just we have very open dialogue about it and we pray for each I pray for her specifically for for her
relationship and for them to continue to walk obedient to the Lord when it comes to their purity and I think it's really important to have an accountability partner like in a direct accountability partner and so maybe even talk about yeah what does that look like
(27:46):
what what what what is accountability look like in female friendships how do y'all specifically do that
well we're very honest and open like I tell canna and I tell you like everything yeah and canna tells mom's calling her out but she tells me everything yeah and I know she's got godly women in Austin to that she talks to
so I think again it goes back to having those godly people and again you when you are open and honest with each other it's how iron will continue to sharpen iron if I want to become a better person I just can't tell my friends all the good stuff
(28:21):
I also am a terrible liar I can't fake it I'm very honest and authentic and I want to be able to share like I've been sharing some fears with you specifically about just like my struggle with continuing to have courage to hope and the fears that I have and just being able to tell you these things that may feel
silly but then for you to speak truth into that so I think accountability literally has to start with like raw honesty and and never make somebody ever feel shameful about that you know if they come to you and they're like hey I messed up here
(28:57):
physically or I had this really ugly thought or this is what I'm believing right now and I know I told you the other day that I'm like feeling this way and then now I'm like man the enemies I think really got in hold and then that way when you can go to your sister in that and she can come back and say here's what I know is true
it's fighting the enemy and it's like covering it's double down and covering each other in prayer and that's why I just think like what to your point I think we are called to be no not I think I know we are called to be disciples of all nations and love people that don't love the Lord
(29:30):
but the thing that I've learned over the course of my life is to be very intentional about who I share what with yeah yeah and yet to hold the friendships that don't have the same beliefs and values very loosely because a lot of times like things could go away and you just I've had friends walk away from me and I didn't understand it
(29:54):
but they didn't know the Lord they didn't want to fight for that friendship or walk through it or talk through it so I think accountability just comes down to being honest and being open and being raw with each other and loving each other no matter what
and something you just said made me think about this like an accounting part and accountability partner who is morally aligned with yes like values.
(30:18):
Faith because I can go to some girlfriends I know the girlfriends I can get to and tell them things and they're like that's awesome how was it like oh my gosh you're gonna go out with him again like he's so cute he has this he has that
and I know that they will encourage me in this and I'm like yeah yeah yeah I'm gonna go another day it was so fun he did this we went to you know and then I know that I can go to you and tell you the exact same story and you're like Sarah.
(30:41):
Why are you going out with him he doesn't treat you right he doesn't love the Lord he's not your guy you know and it's just like so who your accountability partner is yeah I think really matters because we can find the right people to tell us what we want to hear
and I have certain people that I'm like I know I can tell and they will just hype me up no matter what I'm doing yeah and support me but I'm like that's not accountability no like I need somebody to look at me and be like Sarah that's not it that's not who the Lord has for you.
(31:12):
That's the easy life that's like the easy road and I've done that I've literally I know exactly who to go to when I knew in my gut that what I was doing wasn't right or but he's such a good guy again back in my 20s where I was just like he's a really good person.
Yeah, like you can date a really good person. Yeah, if you want to follow Jesus and you claim to be a follower of Jesus it is your responsibility to surround yourself and invest and cling to the people that are going to tell you things you don't want to hear.
(31:42):
We can manipulate it till we're blue in the face but like I don't want a life like that. Yeah, and you can always tell in your gut when you're justifying it like I can tell when my friends like they know I'm going to tell them what I think.
And so a lot of times they just don't really start they stop telling me stuff and I'm like okay I know and like I can't force them to tell me anything they know I'll be there for them when it falls and fails and they get hurt.
(32:09):
But until then it's like okay I can't force you but you know like in your gut you're like I'm justifying this and yeah I just think I think also it comes with life experience you and I both just being at our age now and walking through things that we've walked through we're just like yeah we just know how we want to do it.
We want to do it the Jesus way. The only way. The only way. The only way. Yeah. Yeah and on this topic too it's so wild I got a text I've always been moved from a friend.
(32:38):
And she's asking for some prayer and it was on female friendships while we were driving I was driving down to record with you and I was like okay Lord.
We are on the right track and so this is actually something I told her in my voice mail back was that I that I have experienced and so she basically was just saying hey like I feel like I need to step back or away from this one friendship she doesn't know the word the way that I do and she's really negative and I feel like I
(33:04):
always feel really bad when I leave time with her and you know what do I do and I just feel like it's time to end the friendship and and I listened and I know both of these people so I I was like oh gosh this is so on point because I understand what she's going through.
So some of the things I just told her were like first and foremost there is going to be a different level of intimacy like I've said earlier in this podcast of friendship and like with somebody that loves the Lord and somebody that doesn't love the Lord.
(33:34):
Yeah.
And I told her we're called to and this is a friend that is like so on fire for Jesus she's new to faith and and so I just said we're called to make disciples of all nations so I want you to guard your heart and just know that there are certain things kind of like what I said earlier that you just you can't tell or you can't
(33:59):
tell but know that you can't expect godly biblical wisdom back and so the way that I've had to adjust my expectations is just adjusting what I tell people and that's hard for me because I like to share everything I wear my heart in my
sleeve but I've had to learn okay using discernment on who you share what with and not holding bitterness or frustration or anger towards the people that you can't share that with that you once could because it's not fair to them that they can't
(34:28):
hold that space for you they don't know how they were never taught they don't know the Lord and if they do kind of know the Lord but they're not in a place where you want to be that's okay but I do think that we have different types of friendships and I think
different friendships have different strengths and different weaknesses but I do think we're called to not cut people out just because they don't love the Lord but I think you can guard your heart from them and the way that you do that is just be selective in what you share
(34:56):
absolutely and don't expect them and don't be mad at them because they don't tell you something that you want to hear or you feel like worse when you leave them than when you were when you were with them I would say that's probably an indicator that you spend less time with them
but they probably also an indicator that they need you in their life they need your life they need your love they need so kind of knowing hey when you go in with that friendship maybe you're the one that's giving the advice maybe you're the one that's pouring out and that's exhausting so make sure that you protect your heart in that
(35:30):
have very loose expectations love them like the Lord would and then make sure that you're going to people where you can have really solid inputs and you're being poured back in yeah if you're not doing that you're going to feel very depleted and then you're going to have nothing to give and you're going to be frustrated and I can say because I've been there
and I think I use this a lot with my life coaching clients it's like okay think about your circles like we have we have circles of friends and this is something I had to learn to it's like when I was in college I played soccer I had I was in nursing school so I had that whole community and I was in a sorority and I had that
(36:06):
whole group of girls I had so many friends and I still was keeping up with friends in high school and my middle school friends and I just like felt like my world was so big so my circle was so big and I was like I'm trying to be a good friend to all these people and I'm trying to keep up with all these people and do all these things and know everything about their life but then I'm missing everybody's
birthdays because it's everybody's birthday every day yeah I don't know how to be a good friend yeah and I realized the big circle so like think about there's three layers of circles and this outer circle is all these people that I know it's the people that I see at work at school
(36:38):
it's sorority whatever it was all those is that big circle of friends and I'm nice to them I know their name and they know my name and ask how their week was and I'm going to be intentional when I'm with them in that moment but outside of that like that's exhausting and depleting I can't do that with everybody no then I have this
middle circle this middle circle they know who I'm dating they know what's going on they know the highs and lows they know me fairly well but then this inner circle and it's like this inner and I think in that middle circle to oftentimes is we can have friends who are non believers as well but it's like in that inner circle like you said that's where the
(37:16):
intimacy happens the accountability the deep deep friendship that's the ones that I'm telling you the details of what happened on the day I'm telling you the details of what the enemy is lying to me about in my head I'm telling you the hopes the dreams the failures and everything to detail that way you can look at me
and say like hey Sarah that's not true or hey Sarah let me remind you of who you are and if I were to do that and tell all of those things to that massive group one I'm exhausted to they don't need to know all of that and it's just like it's spreading
(37:50):
I think myself so thin and so it's like an exercise I'll do with girls is like put your people in your circles and say who is in the front row who is in the inner circle and honestly sometimes it's three people it yeah it's it's three people like you know and I think the middle circle it can be you know five to seven
and then that big circle is everybody else yeah and knowing where people go and so it's like yeah maybe your girlfriend who sent you that voice memo had somebody in her inner circle who maybe just needs to go a row back yeah and that's okay and that's okay that's such I love that visualization is so good because I think
(38:22):
we as women can be so hard on ourselves about not being able to keep up with all these people and like we're not meant to and to know the vulnerability intimacy of my heart is not only a privilege but it's also something that I hold very sacred and I don't want to just give it out freely and I used to and I like you said I used to feel really exhausted and so I think I have
there's three maybe three or four women that know the intimate details of my heart it's like you my mom I'm into our kind of you know and maybe like one or two others that like but again they don't really hear everything because I'm a big believer and it's not because I don't love them
(39:00):
any less I just it's a different type of love and it's a different type of expectation and I think for me the women that I am telling everything to it's like I look to them and I go okay I want to be more like you you know and I want we have the same values and beliefs and and that doesn't make me
any better than anybody that I don't share those things with it just makes me different and it makes me wanting a different type of life and so I think holding that with a lot of grace for the people that aren't there yet because I think also remembering like I was once twenty six and living
(39:37):
worldly in a relationship or doing this and that and and I want to be able to be somebody that women can come to on the other side of whatever they're walking through and being like I wish I would have done it for you it's like yeah me too at the time yeah but now I'm here
yeah so let's walk through that together so that's good it's it's navigating that those is it's hard yeah I want to like with girls there can always be girl drama.
(40:00):
Like I think what what are hard things that you hear or have experienced that are hard and friendships because I know I think jealousy yeah comparison yeah.
Miss communication competition like those are things I think of top of mind what makes friendships hard yeah and how do we ever come that and what do we do in that have you experienced that yeah yeah no definitely.
(40:25):
So I experienced a lot of like jealousy and competition a lot younger I feel like like in high school I was bullied in high school I was bullied in middle school but girls.
Oh yeah girls are mean yeah it was mostly because I mean you learn it kind of my mom would always be like it's because they're jealous and it was usually like the boy that they liked liked me and so I remember I can remember the it's funny how I can remember the person's like first and last name and what they were doing because the boy that she liked like me and they were like throwing tar at me.
(40:54):
At the playground and like tar yeah it was the principal's daughter to and I got our our playground instead of gravel was like bits of tar terrible.
Oh my gosh I experienced a lot of that younger and I think nowadays I watch it I think the okay I know the Lord has given me a heart of just like pure joy from my friends who are getting the thing I desire the most.
(41:20):
Oh my gosh I see that in you it's just been such a sweet sweet thing that he's given me and I then have to make sure that I have a heart for the people that are experiencing jealousy but it is hard for me because I'm like how can we be jealous of this of our friend getting the thing that we love that or that she's been praying for and
(41:43):
I'm just so sorry so I think I see a lot of jealousy and women that are watching their friends meet people and meet their people that they're dating that turns into their and fiance and their husband and they go well what about me and I want to like shake them and be like your turns coming but let's
celebrate them you know so I haven't experienced jealousy in my like my heart has not been jealous for my friends that are getting engaged and getting married which is truly from the Lord because it makes no sense for me to not have jealousy for that I have a joy.
(42:15):
But you're such a celebrator of people. Yeah I think that is who you are. Yeah but yeah it's the Lord. It is the Lord and I think the way that to combat the jealousy is just to go man like it will be your turn one day and like don't you want those people to clap for you when it's your turn like it will be
your turn and we can't all get the same thing at the same time. Yeah but I think I think unfortunately women are so competitive with each other based on look and boys and what they do for a living I don't think it's as much about money I think guys are maybe
(42:49):
more competitive with you know money and who makes more money I think girls it's like who's dating who and what you physically look like and it's really sad and I've lost friends over it because I think jealousy can just eat away at your heart and it can destroy the
thief of joy yeah and it's been hard for sure but I do know it's possible to combat that jealousy with just like taking your eyes off yourself and going like oh my gosh praise God that she's found that person.
(43:21):
That's it right there that's the key. Just take your eyes off yourself and see. See. And be able to celebrate where they are. Yeah. Don't take that moment from them because you're still focused on the fact that like well there's another friend that's now not going to be single with me
it's like well guess what you're if you have the Lord like you should never feel lonely in my opinion like you're gonna have moments of loneliness I have moments of loneliness where I'm very aware that I'm single but it is possible to have a posture where you're like
(43:49):
okay Lord I know you've got you're saving someone extra special for me and you have to think that even when you don't feel it a lot of the time yeah because the worst thing I think could happen is you regret not having more joy for your friend who is deserves to be celebrated
because you're so focused on your focus on yourself and yeah it's a terrible it's a terrible way to live and it's only going to affect you and it's only gonna affect your days yeah you know and like wouldn't you rather be so overjoyed for your friend and like it's
(44:22):
gonna make your life better if you're loving on them and then again like wait it's gonna be your turn one day and don't you want to be like love how you would want to be loved like how you would want to be celebrated and like go to the end of the earth for that person for their bachelorette their bridal shower all the wedding festivities like they get to do this one time so
yeah in your turns coming but you know God sees that to like and he will honor that you know so yeah jealousy can eat away but we can combat that very easily just by the posture of our hearts I believe that's good it's a great question so question because we're talking about
(45:01):
the relationships and friendships how do we cultivate deeper God-centered friendships which you say I mean I think so much of what you said the intimacy and vulnerability openness finding that community I mean I guess I think about the friends I have who are my deepest closest
friends they're all believers wanting to be more like Jesus striving for holiness and the same arena as each other with fighting for the same things whether single or married because some of my very best friends like Jacqueline is one of my very best friends and she's married and doesn't
(45:38):
change you know Brittany Anna like all those core four girls I was talking about they're all some of my very best friends and they're married with a couple of them have kids but I think the reason we're so close is because we get together and it's just like what's Lord teaching you like what's going on in your life and I think when we talk about what the Lord is doing there I don't know I guess it's just there's that that intimacy
(46:00):
intimacy I talked about the Lord praying I feel like praying together yeah you've been so amazing just like I know you've been covering me in prayer and and vice versa and I think that's a huge thing that I'm also learning in this season of like okay I'm just gonna cover them in prayer and like
Ken and I are also into we're in different not only different cities but she's in a serious relationship and like you said it's just it doesn't have to it doesn't have to change it's the Lord and like what we're what we're actually talking about and what God's teaching us and prayers like been such a great way to but I love what you said about just like having that
(46:38):
intimacy and going deeper and asking biblical godly questions and creating the space to be intentional because like yes I think about Brittany she's somebody I see every single week because we're in a Bible study together and so we get to go deeper but like if we didn't do that and didn't have the time like we you have to create time
she's three kids yeah she has to be intentional about is her husband home can he watch them sometimes she and I will meet up before to have some time before we meet with group you know it's just like having to find that time and then I'll tell her things and then she's not afraid to push the button and ask one more deeper
(47:12):
question good I got say something she's like okay so what are the actual details what happened yeah I'm like I just told you she's like like how far did you go yeah and I'm like oh you know like oh but she's going to ask and I'm so comfortable telling her that you know and and then I'll tell her like I'm not going to talk to this guy again and she's like okay and then next week so we talk to him
and I'm like well yes she's like Sarah you know like she's just not afraid of those things something that happened last month we were talking about word of the month and we were encouraging each other and she's like I've never really done that I need accountability with it I was like okay well let's think right now what are you going through
(47:44):
love what is the Lord teaching you so good sir and so it's like in that moment we're like okay well let's call each other out what is it and she's like you need to follow up with me like I need to I need to find a verse that you know to put with my word to like really be praying and like like studying that scripture I'm like okay two days later a texture so Brett what's your verse
she's like okay and she says me what she's been reading in the Bible and it's like we have to push that button yes dig deeper and I will dig dig dig and I know she'll dig with me to have people like that in our lives that we're intentional about and she's somebody that's close in my life proximity so I'm able to do that with like you I see you all the time I do that with you and then I have friends who I don't see all the time but Jacqueline summer those are two of my girlfriends in other states you know Logan I'm able to call up
(48:28):
yeah or send a video message or have that intentional to say what's really going on yeah I love that because it is possible even if your best friend doesn't live in the same city or the ones that you're feeling really close to don't live here it's like well then you just have to be extra intentional
yeah you know there's a way to do it there's there's always a way to keep those friendships close even if it looks a little bit different you know but I really feel like if there are godly women in your life and you're blessed to have them like just dive deeper
(48:56):
yeah make the effort it's so worth it and if you're looking for that church is a great place to start yeah get involved in a house church or a Bible study or small group or such good advice you know reach out to somebody and get one on one time with them I mean there's just there's so many ways to do it and women we love to talk so just take a coffee and like go on a friend date you know I think that's such a good that's so good and I remember when I moved back here I like I said you came out of nowhere
(49:22):
I'm pretty sure thank goodness like I had you but it's like I remember I also found my friend Madeline who I've shared about like I found her on social media on Instagram and I knew she loves fitness she has the Lord she was single I could tell she was dating a guy but not married and I was like I want to be her friend and I'm like I literally asked her out I was like I love it literally
literally do you want to go on a walk or get coffee and we get together bam we're like instantly talking about healthy eating no seed oils just like all this in common and it was so fun and it's it's kind of like we laugh talking about our first hangout was like a first date of just
(49:55):
yeah the way it is but it is and sometimes you you do you kind of find who are these people that are walking the walk and I want to get to know and reach out be intentional and vest and somebody has to be the first one to be vulnerable to share really what's going on and then I think time and experience
strengthens those relationships yeah no I love that well I think female friendships are so important and I'm glad we talked about this today because I think it's there's so much to female friendships and they can be hard and they can also be one of the great they are one of the greatest gifts
(50:28):
yeah the Lord they were fighting for worth fighting for yeah so good remember proverbs 2717 as iron sharpens iron one person sharpens another so good friendships are such a gift so important to invest in we're not meant to do life alone
let's be intentional our friendships invest deeply and as always remember even if he is still good
(51:15):
you
(51:45):
you
(52:15):
you
(52:45):
you
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.