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March 4, 2025 42 mins

On this week’s episode of The Even If Podcast, we jump back into the topic of what we’d say to “younger me”. Last week’s episode was “PART I: What I’d Tell My Younger Self”, and this week we keep the topic and add real questions from high school girls. Conversations about what to do after college, how to find your people, what to do when you’re lonely, how to be content and so much more. As always, feel free to shoot us a message with any comments, questions or suggestions! Special shout out to you high school girls who asked these questions. We love you girls and are here for you! Enjoy this week’s episode and remember, even if, He is still good.

Connect: theevenifpod@gmail.com

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Sarah: https://www.instagram.com/sarahhelton_/

Kenzie:https://www.instagram.com/kenzietodd/

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome back to the Even If podcast. I'm Sarah and I'm Kenzie and today's episode is part

(00:09):
two of what I tell my younger self. I'm so excited that we get a part two because last
week if y'all don't listen you should. We had so much fun. But the last five minutes
were chaos, which oftentimes they are a true insight to our lives. But you had to go to
your gown times, which I never asked you about. How was that?
It was so sweet. Oh my gosh, it was so fun. We all showed up in pajamas. Yeah, that was so fun.

(00:32):
And the girls had pizza and made these like cocktails, mocktails. I'm not drinking this
year, but I didn't ask if there was alcohol in mine. But I was like, yeah, I shouldn't probably,
like I'm such a lightweight. And so I had like two steps. I was like, yeah, no, I can't drink this
anymore. I'm like, I think there's, I think there's tequila in this. And I didn't ask because I was
just like, that looks really yummy. So fun. And there's some girls that are like, I know trying

(00:54):
for a baby. And so I just didn't want to like, I don't know, I didn't, I didn't know how to, how to
find out if there's alcohol and things. So it was really sweet. And then we did a candle exchange.
So that was really sweet. And it was great. We're reading Practicing the Way by John Mark Comer.
And it is honestly probably one of the best books I have read in years. Like I cannot get enough of

(01:16):
it. So book shout out, it's been so good. So we're reading through that. I'm about to need a new
book. So okay, you have to read it because I want to talk to my book club girls. Oh yeah, tell your
book club girls. Tell your book club girls. I book club girls if you're listening.
I'll tell them. I'll tell them. John Mark Comer shout out. Anywho. Yeah, it was great. I'm good.

(01:40):
Okay, so let's yeah, let's dive into this episode. I can't wait. Okay, yes. So this is so fun. Part two
of what I tell my younger self. I work at a high school with some amazing girls and I asked them
what are things you would want to know? Or I asked them if they know the trend coffee with younger
me and all of them were like, yes, of course you do. So last week, I was like, do you guys know this

(02:05):
like trend? They're like, yeah, everybody does. I was like, okay, well, I found out about last week
literally on the podcast, but just ask them if you were, if you could put yourself in that position
of you're having coffee with your younger self, but you are the younger self, like what are the
questions you're asking now? And so they gave me questions. I love this. And that is what we're
going to do today. We're going to go through all of them and just talk about them and say,

(02:27):
what would we do if this was us asking these questions or if younger me was asking these
questions? So I'm going to read them exactly as they are. I cannot wait. This was just me in the
weight room talking to these girls, you know, asking what are the questions you would have? And
I wrote them down as I heard them. So it could be partially scribe error, but also this is what I

(02:48):
heard when we were talking. We're going to do our best. All right. Also shout out to all my girls.
I love you all so much. And I just love my job. Okay. So number one, what do you do with life
after college if you're not married and stuff? I'm like, I don't know. Here we are.
We're asking two single girls that are not married. That's so precious. I graduated college. I had no

(03:13):
idea what I was going to do. I had a job, which I was blessed to have a job out of college, but
even then it's not a job I do now. So I would tell this sweet girl to say, hey, like, follow what
you feel like the Lord is putting on your heart. Take the next right step. Most likely,
hate to break it to you, whatever you do after college is not going to be what you're doing

(03:34):
when you're in your thirties. Most likely, hopefully not because that's who it would be.
But well, somebody could have an amazing job and still stay in it. That's good for them.
We don't know what that life's like. That's true. That is true. It's just so wild to see how the
times have changed too. Where it's like the world is just not the same as it was when we were in
high school. So I'm really trying to put my, I'm like long windedly answering this question of like,

(03:55):
what would I think if I was hurt right now? Cause options are endless. You can become a
TikTok star and make millions of dollars. You know, like there's just so many things you can do.
But I would, I would, I would say, I would say the goal should never be marriage. The goal should
be to chase Jesus and to find something that you love, that you're passionate about that challenges

(04:17):
you and see where that takes you and enjoy that. I wish I could go back to my younger self and say,
stop taking everything so seriously and, and don't miss college and then don't miss life after
college because there's so much beauty in every season and it's going to change and in your 20s,
it's changes quickly. Like it changes really and you grow really quickly. Yeah. I feel like,

(04:41):
what would you say? I feel like, I probably thought I would get married after college. I mean,
my high school boyfriend and I promise each other we were getting married and if not, if we didn't
find anybody by 25, we'd just get married. I'm like, that's so crazy to think. Isn't that crazy? Now,
I remember probably would have asked the same question in high school. Like, what do I do if
I'm not? Yeah, especially when you grow up in the South in a traditional home where mom is working

(05:04):
or dad is working and mom stays at home. It's like, that's what I saw growing up. That's what
a lot of my friends have. That's what I wanted at that age. And so I was like, what do I do if I'm
not a mom, like married and stuff? What do I do? And so I can relate to this girl feeling that the
weight of that. But also I remember when I was a senior in college and I went to a small Christian

(05:26):
school and everybody was talking about ring by spring. And I was like, I am not trying to get
a ring by spring. I remember just saying, I have so much I want to do. I want to travel. I want to
go see the world. I want to do different things. And I think that was just the Lord changing my
heart. You know, it's like he changes the desires of our hearts. And he did. He changed his desire
of my heart at that time because there wasn't a man that was right for me to marry at that time.

(05:49):
There wasn't, I wasn't, you know, in a place to get married. And so I look back and I'm like, wow,
he changed the desires of my heart to not want that at that time. And thank you Lord for that.
I ended up, that's when I did my 99 day trip around the world. And I traveled and I tell my
clients this all the time in my life coaching sessions, or even my girls at high school, just

(06:10):
try so many different things when you're looking for a job, figure out what works and what doesn't.
Totally. We worked corporate together. It wasn't for us. I've worked in fitness. I worked in the
school system. I worked in special needs. Like I worked as a waitress. I just tried different
things. Why not? It's so powerful. I think you figure out a lot about yourself. You're figuring
out who you are, figuring out what you want to do for work. No, it's so true because it's so funny

(06:33):
that you said that too. Cause I feel like when I read this question, I was trying to put myself
in this high school, but I just, I was never the girl that wanted to get married, like right out of
school. But I didn't grow up again. My home life was so different. I grew up in Canada and my parents
are divorced and you know, I grew up with a, just a very independent, strong-willed mom that could

(06:53):
do everything. So that's like what I saw. Yeah, that makes sense. And was encouraged to go and
build this life. So I, it's so true. Like your desires of your heart, the Lord is going to change
them and he's definitely changed mine. Like obviously I want to get married and I want a family,
but that was not top of mind, not even close in high school or in, or even in college or even
post college. Like I wanted to go experience things and I wanted to work and try. So go do that.

(07:18):
And, and if you meet somebody like we always say, and your dad said this when he was on the podcast,
if you, if you meet somebody that's running the race and you just look over, awesome, you know,
but marriage post college life, uh, should not be the goal. I don't think, if it happens, awesome,
but like go live your life and enjoy it because I personally believe that, uh, the Lord has a

(07:40):
plan for us obviously and everyone's going to get married at different seasons and different ages.
And I think that's beautiful story. Maybe even if you don't, not everybody. It's so true. Not
everyone. We're not promised. Um, but I will say from my own experience, I'm just so grateful
to have had all this experience that if I do get married one day, like I will be such a better
wife because of it. So that should be the hope in, in easing any anxiety about where you should be.

(08:05):
And I will say too, there's a verse in Jeremiah 29, 11, and it says, for, I know the plans I have
for you to clear the Lord plans for welfare and not for evil to give you a future and a hope.
And so the Lord has our plans and we can rest in that and thank the Lord. We're not responsible
for the outcome. Yeah. You know, amen. So, so great question to that sweet girl. Number two,

(08:29):
how do you find your people after school? And this one, I remember she was just talking about,
she was like, you're in school your whole life and you have all these friends and then what happens
after school? Like, how do you find people? I thought that was such a great, such a good question,
such a great question. I think first of all, go to our episode about female friendships. Yes. And

(08:50):
I think just learning what it means to be a friend, what it means to seek godly friendships.
What does that look like? But yeah, I think it is something that comes in waves. It is so crazy
when you grow up in the school system, how like you just automatically have friends, you have
classmates, you have people, you have group projects, you do things with and I, it doesn't negate the

(09:11):
fact that it's still hard to find friends sometimes within the school. I get that. But for this
question specifically, after school is over, it's like, who are your friends? And a lot of times,
my friends have been coworkers, which has been a really sweet blessing. I mean, you were a coworker,
which is crazy. But I think too, I have met a lot of friends through like things you do together,
you know, well, for you, full ride, I can imagine you've met a ton of people through there.

(09:35):
So many of my favorite people from full ride fitness, I think, yeah, I think it's so true.
You're so used to for your entire life making friends at school. Those are your friends,
you know, and then you get out of college and you're like, who are my people? So I would say,
for sure, fitness, it's a great place to meet people where you work is a great place. It's

(09:55):
not definitely, we're not always blessed to like have amazing people that we work with, but
or that we have like similar interest in, but fitness is great, whatever your hobbies are,
obviously church is a great place. Yeah, a small group and also people are meeting on Instagram,
like friends are meeting on Instagram. So if there's a friend that you I've met a couple friends
through Instagram, yeah, and it's been really sweet and we have so many shared interests. And so

(10:18):
I think that's also a great way is like utilizing technology in the same way you would meet a
romantic partner. You can also meet a friend that way too. There's so many ways and being open to
saying yes, you know, get outside your comfort zone. I was asked to go to like a house church
mixer a couple weeks ago at the church. I am a part of and I was so nervous. I'm like, I feel

(10:39):
like the new girl going, I don't want to go. I'm tired. It's dark. But I really I wanted,
I wanted to get to know more people within my church. And I went, I'm so glad I went, but it
was like, I didn't want to go. Yeah, you know, so I think you got to you got to put yourself out there.
You got to put yourself out there. No, I agree. And I think to specifically to that question,
she said, how do you find your people after school? And I think that is so important to find our

(11:03):
people because I will say, you will have friends at jobs. I worked a job one time and
it's just because of proximity, you're close to those people. Yeah, you see them every day.
Totally. I remember getting close with some girls at a job and just feeling like, I don't know that
this is best for me. I don't know that these friendships, it wasn't the girls that it wasn't
the people that I should have been around. I feel like I wasn't the best me. It wasn't my people.

(11:27):
You know, I'm saying that in quotations, my people, because I think my people, they weren't
people who were walking with the Lord. They weren't people who, you know, we weren't similar,
except for we worked the same job. And so I think about that, like that can be hard. But
again, finding those things of what is a shared interest. And I think sometimes it is easy to
say, Oh, well, we work together or Oh, this, but like, yeah, a shared interest is fitness. Okay,

(11:50):
well, sometimes those are my fitness friends. These are my work friends. These are the people
that I do deep intimate life and being able to separate those two and finding which ones are
your people out of those. And maybe it's one from the gym. Like when I moved to Charleston, I worked
at a gym and it was such a great way to meet people. I instantly had a huge community just
because I think fitness like full right. It is such a great, great way to meet people. But being

(12:15):
very careful who you choose. Yes, be your people. And I think, you know, Proverb 1717 says a friend
loves at all times. And a brother is born for a time of adversity. Yeah, that's good. So that is
what a true friend looks like. So how do you find your people? Your people are somebody who is a
true friend loves at all times. And a brother is born for a time of adversity. That's so good.

(12:40):
That's so good. I am so glad you touched on that part about like your people, because I think
that's what people are earnestly wondering, how do I meet my people? And I think just to add on to
that one last thing is just time. Yeah, I think just give it time and like those that write it
for where they do listen to this podcast, like, or if you're in any fitness studio, and you are
looking, you know, don't be afraid to like talk to a stranger. You just never know what that person

(13:05):
needs and where that could go and follow up on Instagram. And if they're not going to be your
people, that's okay, you try, you know, but it takes risking it being vulnerable, which I know
can be difficult. And then just give it time. I also think I remember talking to my mentor one
time about this, just being in a season where it was really hard. I was working as a life coach.
That was my full time job. I didn't have this other job at a school. I wasn't working at the gym.

(13:26):
So full time life coach, which means all I'm doing is working one on one with high school girls,
middle school, high school, college girls. So I'm like, where do I find my people? Yeah. Okay,
so what else can I get involved in? I can do church, like you said, I can find fitness, like
where are these, these other places to get involved and meet people and I have no idea where to do
it. And she was like, well, then create something. If it's not there, then create it. Wow. And that

(13:50):
was like a couple of years ago. And I remember just holding onto that. And funny enough, I obviously
told you about this before and I said, I wasn't going to say anything on the podcast. I'm not
going to say it all, but there's something really exciting I'm about to start. And I'm,
I'm just really looking forward to it. Just I have felt a lack of community at times. I have a lot of
great friends and individual one off friendships and friends in other states, but I just thought

(14:12):
my area in Franklin, Tennessee, I feel like is lacking like a community of strong believers,
like shared a similar interest. And so that the words from my mentor
rang back and she was just like, if there's not something, then you start it.
Wow. And I was like, okay. And so that's a little fun, something coming up, coming soon.
Next question from our sweet high school girls. She said, what do you do when you feel alone?

(14:39):
Wow. That one is good. Because I can relate to my yeah, to the Linus in high school and in
college and post grad life. I was diagnosed with a little bit of depression and anxiety.
Something that I struggled with just through my parents divorce when I was in

(15:01):
high school and high school and into college. And I would say
the thing that I wish I could tell my younger self and tell this girl and I'm not saying that she
struggles with what I struggled with was I kept it in like I didn't talk to anyone about being
lonely. Because I don't even know if I truly identified that I was lonely. But I was. And so

(15:23):
I would just tell my younger self that if you're feeling lonely, first of all, like speak it,
go to people that you trust, you know, your parents or whoever it might be best friends,
mentors, just tell them I feel lonely and acknowledge that and don't be afraid so that
people can then speak truth into that because we know we're not ever alone. It's hard to fully

(15:43):
believe that though when you do feel lonely, it's hard to look at scripture and go, okay, I know
that the Lord is near me and I know he never runs away. He'll never leave or forsake me. But
you can't help but be like, I just feel lonely. I don't have any of these friends. And always,
you know, I would also say that if you are feeling lonely, it's whatever you're feeling is
temporary. There is a there is a truth to loneliness when you leave college and you leave all your

(16:07):
friends. Because when I graduated college, everybody moved away. I was one of the only ones
that stayed in LA and continued to work. I had friends that moved to San Francisco, San Diego,
but that's still like a two hour drive to San Diego. And that's without traffic. So
the reality was I was alone. Or at least I felt alone. And so I would just say to reach out and

(16:29):
then to I would go to honestly, it's wild. I would go to fitness classes. And I would go to
SoulCycle and I would go ride a bike and it made me feel the presence of the Lord and it made me
reignited this fire. And then I created something, you know, years down the line. But I would definitely
just encourage you to speak it into existence and and lean on your people. But also know that

(16:50):
there is going to be an element of loneliness when you graduate college or when you move to a new
city. I mean, you are going to feel lonely, but that's a beautiful opportunity for the Lord to
work. It's a beautiful opportunity for you to get to know yourself. There's I cannot tell you how
truly maybe powerful isn't the right word, but how truly exhilarating it is to be so secure in your

(17:13):
time with yourself. And to I look for I put time with myself on my day in calendar. Yeah.
I have one night a week during the weekday where you will I will not talk to anyone. And that's
not because I don't want it. I'm an introvert. I need it. And I also love being by myself. I love
being with you. So be okay being alone and put that on your and and it's a skill you have to

(17:38):
practice, you know, it's something I'm learning and practicing the way the book that I'm reading,
it's apprenticeship with Jesus. It's a skill. It's it's something that we have to continually
practice. And so being alone with ourselves, being alone with Jesus, it's not something that just
comes naturally. So I think when you are alone, I think the Lord gives you opportunity to really
work on yourself and yeah. And you're right. I think loneliness doesn't just happen in high

(18:02):
school or doesn't just happen in college and post and after and here we are at times still
feeling alone and what does that look like? And I heard an illustration once and it was like,
oftentimes we put our problems are so close to our face, they're right in front of us. It's all we
see. And it's because it's all we're focusing on. But imagine if we moved it back, and it wasn't
the biggest thing we focused on it, and there was other things we could do. It's like, look,

(18:25):
our problem is smaller too. Yeah, just go away. And it's just if it's all I'm thinking about,
all I'm thinking about, I'm so lonely. There's nobody did that. But again, yeah, you say like,
push that problem back. I'm alone. But what's out here? Oh, there's people out here doing fitness
classes. There's other people that need help. There's other people. Oh, that girl sitting alone
at the table too. I'm going to go join her and just taking the focus off yourself. Yeah. Love that.

(18:47):
That's so good. That's so good. I think it's Psalm 3418. And it just says the Lord is near to the
broken hearted and saves the Christian spirit. And, you know, he is near you even when you feel
like he's not and he will never leave nor forsake you. And so I think there's just a beautiful
opportunity to like Sarah said, take that problem, get outside yourself. Take that problem further

(19:08):
away from your mind and then just practice because it's a skill. Honestly, anyone that's
listening, it's just we all know if you're older, you just know how valuable it is to be okay to
be alone. You're going to end up choosing the right relationship a little bit easier. You're
going to choose right friends a little bit easier because you're not coming from this like scarcity
mindset. So I think just it's a good thing if you feel a little bit alone and lean into that.

(19:31):
Alrighty, next question. How to be friends with others different than you when they all want to
go to parties and drink and smoke, but we don't get invited to those parties because we don't do it.
I'm like, that's so real. I think that's such a real thing. And this girl specifically, we,
it was on a little lunch break. She and I were walking around the track together and

(19:54):
she was just talking. She was like, I just feel like they're such a divide. Like there's some
people who they just drink and party and they get invited to all these things and there's other
people who aren't, but we still want to be friends with them. And like, what does that look like?
And, you know, I think love one another, love one another, love each other and love each other
as he has loved us, love each other, like love, what is it? Love your neighbor as yourself.

(20:16):
Nailed it. Nailed it. But yeah, my command is this, love each other as I have loved you and then
love your neighbor as yourself. And just thinking about how, even if we are in different seasons
of life, that the greatest thing is just to love so easy. But what does that look like when you have,
you want to be invited to those things and all that matters in high school is to be cool and to

(20:37):
be accepted. And I think about younger me, it's like, gosh, I knew people were doing this and I
knew people were doing this. And there's all these different groups of friends and, and in this
conversation with this girl specifically, I love your input too. But I just told her, I was like,
that's, that is so hard. Cause I know you want to go to those parties. And then of course,
like big sister side comes out of me, I was like, but do you know that if you get caught drinking,

(20:58):
like the cops can get you in trouble. And do you know that like, what could happen if you ever
drink and drive? And if you're doing this underage, I have to say all these things.
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, which I always tell my girls, I'm like, okay, I hear you
and I have to tell you this. Yeah, honestly. Yeah. But then I was like, I think sometimes people are
just bored and they don't know what to do. And so it's like, Oh, house party, bring all the buzzer.

(21:23):
Why? Let's just drink because we're awkward and we don't know how to talk to each other. Exactly.
And I was like, rise above that. Yeah, people are just not creative anymore. And so drinking is a
lack of creativity, in my opinion. Yep. So what else can we do? And it's like, so good. Okay,
Friday night, you hear there's a party at his house, everybody's going,
well, what are you going to do? You know, if you want something created, I was like, well, then

(21:46):
just if you want something created, and how do we do that? What does it look like? And so why don't
you get a group together and say, we're going skating, we're going have a movie. I was like,
Oh my gosh, that sounds like so much fun. I don't think anybody else would come.
And I'm like, who cares? Who cares? There's a story first. There's three. Yeah. Okay. If there's
people like her, there's more people. Exactly. And I'm like, so many people feel this. And then,

(22:08):
yeah, yeah. So it's like, you have to create this other thing. And back to the original question,
like how to be friends with them, you're still friends with them. You still love them. You still
love as, as you would. But what does that look like to not get invited to parties? That's okay.
It's okay. Jesus was rejected to seriously when you walk the walk. It's hard. It's hard. And I

(22:29):
would just check. I was also, I would also just say, like, do you really want to go to that party?
Or is it because you feel like they're like, you said there's like, there's nothing else to do.
So you're feeling a little bit left out. And I would just say, I remember when I was in high
school, the drinking agent in Canada is 18. So like, oh, yeah, I was turning up at 14.
You've already reconciled that. But yeah, I honestly drank because everyone else drank. And I,

(22:55):
I was like, well, I, but I don't like this. And I remember, I think I was like 15, honestly,
like the first time that I got drunk at a friend, at a party, it was a ski, all my ski friends were
all up in Kenmore. And I got super drunk. And I was miserable. And I was like, why am I doing
like, I don't even enjoy this. And then from then on, I just was like, I felt very outcasted. But

(23:19):
it was because I didn't quite understand. I wasn't like 100% figured out my faith. But I just knew
that wasn't something that I enjoyed or I wanted to do. And so I would just really encourage you
to check like your heart posture of why you're feeling like, well, I don't want to be doing these
things, but I want to go. And is it because you want to go because you want to feel included?
Because like you said, Jesus was rejected. Jesus was misunderstood. It's not like, oh,

(23:43):
you think you're better than them because you don't want to do those things. It's just like
finding things that align more with who you are is really powerful and more rewarding.
And if you're feeling that way, other people are going to feel that way too. And I've never been
a big drinker since. I mean, I've just, I never liked alcohol. I didn't like the taste of it.
I didn't like the way that it made me feel. I still don't. I am not, everyone knows me as the girl

(24:04):
that like, my mom took me to New York for my 21st and bought me like a $30 cocktail and I had two
sips. And I was like, I don't like this. I just don't like it. So yeah, I mean, it's, you don't
have to be somebody that you're not. And I think it really, it really says hi of someone's character
to be able to walk the walk. And it's definitely, it's narrow. The road is narrow, but walk in it

(24:26):
because you will, that's how you're going to change people's lives. Honestly. Next question is,
this is a longer one, how to be strong in your faith when we live in such a wealthy area and
have everything we could ever want and everything is good. And when we are living a comfortable life,
how do we still stay strong in faith? I might have been a run on sentence.

(24:50):
It is, but it's precious. It is precious. Also, I blame that on the scribe. I was the one that
wrote this down when she was talking. You're precious. Thanks, honey. You did so good. Thank you.
It's a run on sentence, but it's fun. That's on me. You know, that was, that was my run on sentence.
I was just trying to capture what she was asking. But yeah, okay, that's good. That's a good one.
How to be strong in your faith. That's so true. We live in a wealthy area. There's,

(25:11):
we have everything we want, especially when we think perspective wise, we are literally the
richest people in the whole entire world. We are so beyond blessed. We were so comfortably,
I mean, these girls at this school are pulling up in cars that are 2024, 2025, Broncos, Porsche.
I mean, every car, I don't even know nice cars. I'm like, they have the nicest clothing. I mean,

(25:32):
obviously I work at a private school and so yeah, yeah, I need to go there. So it's just like,
there's money. They have everything materialistic wise. So how do you, what does that look like
to like stay strong in your faith and to like, I think, I feel like she's asking like, okay,
and not to, not to, not to, I'm not demeaning this by any means, but when you're in high school,

(25:54):
like, and you're going, I remember I went, I went to, I went to a private school. My brother went
to public and I was, I mean, beyond blessed, like my parents, you know, was ski racer, did an expensive
sport, went to a nice school, all the things. I thought I thought I was like, you think your
problems are problems, but I feel like, and I'm not demeaning the problems that exist for high

(26:16):
schoolers, but I'm just saying like a strong faith comes with trials. It comes with, you know, I
believe we really learn about the Lord when it doesn't work out how we want it to. And when,
even if it doesn't, even if it doesn't work out. And so, you know, I think it's so amazing that

(26:38):
she has such a strong faith when life feels comfortable because that's going to set her up
to really work through when life is not comfortable. And that is coming. That's inevitable. It's
inevitable for me as I continue on this earth, like it's, it's inevitable. So I would just say
while she is at home and in high school, though there's still obviously high school, I mean,

(27:03):
you couldn't pay me money to go back to high school. I would not want to do that. It was tough, but
I would just say how to remain strong in your faith is build the foundation as strong as you can
while you have the luxury of being close to your parents and your friends and mentors and having
you involved in her life. And then I would continue to just like, I want things I wish I would have
done was memorize scripture and read the Bible. I still feel convicted of that.

(27:28):
I'm so grateful that the Lord brought me where he brought me, but I just, you know, and I don't do
this for the sake of it's just not, it's not helpful. But I'm like, if I came from a really
strong Christian home, like what would I, what kind of believer would I be? But I don't, I can't do
that because I'm like, no, I am who I am because of where I came from and the path that I've walked.
But I would just say like to remain strong is to build this beautiful foundation and then just

(27:50):
know that the bumps are coming and the storms are coming. It's never a matter of if it's always
going to be a matter of when. And so I think the way that you can continue to build a strong faith
is just deepen that foundation. You want to go higher, you got to dig deep and, and keep digging
deep and utilize your resources and just prepare and don't live in fear. Don't live in anxiety,
but just know like when you do hit those challenges, the Lord is just, he is working in, and it's,

(28:17):
it's a beautiful thing. But I don't know if I'm answering the question, but I, I think it was,
I, yeah, I think that's a great, great one. Even think about, you know, it says in the Bible that
with trials comes perseverance and perseverance develops character and character and develops
hope. And it's like, yes, like that when we go through those trials, when we go through those

(28:38):
things, that is producing our character. And so like, how do we do that if we're not uncomfortable?
But it's also like, I think what I would encourage her in this is like, when you're living a life
like this, like first Timothy 6, 6 says, but godliness with contentment is great gain. I mean,
I think oftentimes when I feel closest to the Lord, it's like in hard things, right? It's like

(29:00):
when I'm weeping and when I'm so angry at him and I'm just like so mad and all I'm doing is
reading my Bible and like crying out and looking for evidence that he's real and like still trying
to believe because I'm so mad. But it's like when life is good, I'm just like, be bop, I've got it,
da, da, da, da. But it's like godliness being like I have strives for holiness, for godliness.

(29:24):
And to have that with contentment. So in the midst of your wealth, in the midst of your
easygoing middle Tennessee bougie life, that is incredible to feel godliness with content.
Yes. Amen. I strive for that. I want that. Seriously. Seriously. I think, I think that's
something that all believers, if they're honest, or like, yeah, it's you feel closer when it's

(29:49):
harder, it's harder to yearn for the Lord when you're getting everything that you want. You know,
that's why it's like the only thing that matters. The only thing that in my life that matters is
the Lord. And that's just like eyes on him constantly. So yeah, it's I really applaud her
faith to have such a strong faith when she and the awareness of knowing how blessed she is.
Yeah. I think a lot of high schoolers, yeah, even anybody, like, you know, I don't think we really

(30:13):
are conscious of how blessed we are. And that's not to minimize anybody's problems. Even, you know,
I think about that my problems, I'm like, can just get it together. You have a great life. Like,
it's not to take away our pain. It's just also to have perspective. And I think we're always going
to see and find what we choose to look for. So we have to be really conscientious about what we're
looking for. So I agree. Well, and then I think this is this was kind of something else. This is

(30:39):
part two of the question, how can we be so content when you have to plan so much for the future,
but you have to plan for college, even though the future is not promised tomorrow.
Wait, what did I write that word? Oh, yeah, when we're not, yeah, yeah. Okay, let me just think
about what she said in person because I remember that better than how I wrote it. But yeah, she
was just saying like, how am I supposed to be so content in the here and now when we're not promised

(31:04):
tomorrow? And so I'm trying to be content in the here and now, but we're not, and we're not promised
tomorrow, but here I'm in high school and everybody's telling me prepare for college, prepare for the
future, prepare for your job. What do you want next? So, but I think it's like, along with that last
question, I'm trying to stay content right now, but we're not promised tomorrow, but I'm also
supposed to be doing a thousand other things. And so how do I, where do I live? Do I live in this

(31:26):
present contentness, contentment, contentment? Do I live in this present contentment or do I
look to the future and plan these things even though it might not happen? And maybe that's
the, even if it doesn't, even if it doesn't, that's, I mean, that's, isn't that like everyone's struggle?
Like how do you be content while also like looking to the future? Well, I feel like you and I talked

(31:48):
about this, you were saying something about like, how do I, yeah, what if in a couple years I'm
married, but also what if in a couple of years I'm still running my business and kind of still
feeling that struggle of we have no idea because we could meet somebody suddenly and my life looks
so different. I think you and I would agree that we would literally drop everything. Yep. And I

(32:09):
would be willing to do whatever for the right man. Me too. And it's just like, okay, so, but I don't
know when that's happening. So how do I continue to plan for the future of future single Sarah,
future working Sarah, future mother, like how do we get, oh, that's literally something that I was
literally processing today. It's that's where I feel like I'm at currently. And that's, I think so

(32:33):
much of that is faith. It's just like faith, right? Like not worrying about tomorrow, not worrying about
what the future may hold, but trusting that we are where we are right now. And like my aunt says,
another one of my mentors, she'll always just say, just do the next right thing. It's all you can do.
It's genuinely all you can do. There's a similar quote and I love it because it's so,

(32:55):
it's so true. And he says, what we believe about the future is one of the best predictions of how
we act today. And so it's so true because it's like that we can only do the next right step. We can
only from here, I'm going to go to my Bible study. And then after Bible study, I'm going to drive home
and get wind down for bed. Like I, I'm just going to do the next right thing. The next right thing

(33:16):
is to go to my Bible study. And the way that I view my life in the future is going to impact
directly how I treat people. If I think my future is doomed, I'm going to be a miserable, miserable
person to be around. But if I am hopeful and excited and curious to the best of my human ability,
because that's not going to be every day, I am going to be the kind of person that is energetic

(33:37):
and magnetic and someone that is encouraging other people. And so it's really difficult to,
to balance being content and also prepare for the future. And I think we, I mean, you're coming
from like a newly discovered, uh, in your room three, where I am very achievement oriented and
very goal driven. And I know you're very goal driven too. So we, we like to work hard. And at

(34:00):
the same time, we got to also just live and be where our feet are. And what we think about our
future, it's just so, it's so convicting and so enlightening. Cause it's like, yeah, regardless
of what happens in the future, whatever I think about it is going to directly impact me today.
It's like what people say, like, if you start giving off this kind of like really awesome, fun
energy, like you can attract. Yeah, you attract that same thing. And so, you know, I just, I,

(34:25):
I think that is so powerful. And for anyone that is feeling, you know, maybe hopeless today, or as
you're listening, or just kind of wondering like, man, where's my future going? It's like, okay,
let's change the way we think about our future so that that will directly impact like how we live
in today, because today is all that matters. Yeah. And you know what's so cool is, you know,
to this girl, if you're planning for college, plan for college, fill out the application,

(34:46):
see what happens. If that's not what the Lord has for you, he's so daggum, powerful, he's going to
close that door and you're not going to go to college. Exactly. He will rerun you. He will help
you do that. And so we do this next right thing when we're walking in the will of God, he will
help guide us in our choices and what we do. And so it's like so good having faith that this is
what I'm supposed to do. And it's like, I have tried things with wholeheartedly believing this is

(35:08):
what I'm doing. This is the next step and it hasn't happened. Okay, I was really planning to marry
this guy. I was really planning to start a future. I mean, I've really was planning for this. And then
God came in and said, no, it's not that it's not him. And I'm like, okay, well, that's what I was
planning because I thought he was guiding me in that I even felt peace about it. I felt like that

(35:29):
was the right thing until he said, no, and then you just switch switch and go whatever he has next.
And so I think it's like, yes, do the next right thing. If you're going for college, go for college
and let him guide you in that and having that balance of planning and being open, being surrendered.

(35:50):
So good. Whatever he has. I love that. All right, our last question for today. How can we learn to
live selflessly and with humility? Like when we have to take care of your own, our own stuff like
homework and things, but also help others with what they're actually going through, it's so easy to
get caught up in looks and all, even when we never actually have it together. Can you break that down?

(36:14):
I blame me again. Okay, so I think it's just like how do we live? Yeah, I also will tell you what I
heard because I'm here better than I write apparently, but this is also what happens when
you're like on a squat rack and you're trying to have heart to heart. So I'm like, hold on,
let me go write this down really quick. Squatting and I'm like, what would you want to tell your

(36:35):
younger self? No, but it's just like, how do I live for myself and take care of my own things?
Like I got to do my homework, I got to take care of these things, whether it's like college
applications and do this stuff, but also like, oh my gosh, I know you're going through so much.
I want to be there for you. But also like, I have to get my track practice in. I have to
get my homework done. I have to get my workout in. So how do I

(36:59):
balance that and do take care of you and take care of me? I think that's part one of the question.
Part one of the question. Well, I mean, right off the top of my head, I would just say,
that's going to be a never ending journey, you know, as you figure out what you're
been with is in different seasons of life. And I would say that everyone's also very different.

(37:21):
And some people like, I remember I was very studious in school because I had to get,
I had to get good grades. I really wanted to get good grades, but I had to study. Like I wasn't,
I was naturally smart, but not like naturally smart when I took tests. I'm more street smart
than book smart. So, you know, I had to, I had to study. There were times where friends needed me
and I just, that's where I wanted to be. And then I would sacrifice, you know, a grade or I'd

(37:44):
sacrifice, like there's been times where friends have needed me and, and I've not got any sleep.
And then I got to get up and teach and get up at five in the morning and that's fine by me.
But then I think it, a lot of it comes to like what your priorities are and really just making sure
that you just have the right posture of heart and really assess like what is, what is priority to

(38:05):
you in that season. And that's something that I, I think people are adjusting constantly. And I think,
you know, there's certain seasons where you might be in school and you might be working and
that just means you don't have as much bandwidth and that's, that's so okay. That's normal. And so,
I would just encourage people to just constantly don't be rigid about your schedule.

(38:29):
Don't be rigid about your, what you said yes to and be flexible with things changing.
And know that that's going to change in the seasons of life that you enter, given what your priorities
are. And I think it's really important to reassess your priorities every quarter, at least, and just
go, okay, what are my priorities? What's going to get my attention? Where am I lacking? Have people

(38:54):
speak into that? And, and just know that that's going, it's just going to change. My dad,
my dad and I did a talk the other day on emotional intelligence and we were giving a couple points
about why do we talk about emotions? What's the point? And one of the points was living emotionally
wise helps us grow in the area of self care and thinking about that's good. There's a spectrum

(39:15):
of one side being selfish and the other side being selfless. And I think some people think,
you know, if you're on the selfish side of me, me, me, all about me. And then if we're on the
selfless side, completely selfless, it's like, Oh, anything you want, I'll do whatever for you.
I'll do, I'll do all of this, like whatever you need. And it's like, not both of those aren't

(39:36):
good. It's somewhere in the middle. Right. So to be emotionally healthy, to live in that
healthy place is in the middle of that line of selfish and selfless. That's good. And Philippians
two, three says, do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility, count others more
significant than yourself. And I think it's that die to self. So to die to yourself, it requires

(39:58):
having a self. So you have to know who you are, you have to know yourself, right? To die to yourself.
And then also to be selfless is the second commandment to love your neighbor. And so finding
out where is that balance in between. And there was this quote that my dad had said this day,
when we were given the talk from Parker Palmer, it says, self care is never a selfish act. It is

(40:20):
simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others.
That is good. It's so true. That is so good. So good. So just thinking about like, it's not
selfish to take care of yourself. We have to prioritize those things. We have to take care
of your homework, your school, your grades. Those are, those are good. And also other people are
really important too. And so finding that again, I think there's so much in life that is that balance

(40:44):
of embracing that paradox of both of those things and walking that line. I love that. I kind of
said it better. So good. Well, this was so fun. I love it. I love these questions. Shout out to
all my girls. They're so cute. Oh my God. I want more. And maybe we can do another
questions with high school girls. Yeah. Submit them. If you have any, my girls are listening.

(41:06):
Let me know. Seriously. I mean, your thoughts, I mean, your questions. Love to hear if I
asked your question wrong based on the way I wrote it down. That's not what I said.
So literally tell me if I did it wrong. But it was fun to chat through and see what the Lord says
about it. And hopefully we had something worth taking. And if not, forget it all. Forget it all.
And ask somebody else.

(41:30):
That's hilarious. Anyways, all right. Well, till next time. Till next time, even if he is.
What happened there? I went ahead first. I was like, okay, we're rapid. Even if he's still good.
True. I meant to say and remember. But I jacked it up. All right. Sorry. I just, I don't know where

(41:51):
my brain is today. We're done. We're done. And remember. Can you keep all this?
This is just hilarious. And remember. And remember. Are you supposed to say even if? No, I'm
supposed to say. And remember. Can you do it? And remember. Oh, even if. I thought you were going

(42:18):
to take the whole thing. I'll do the whole thing. Yeah, just do the whole thing. I need it. I'm out.
And remember, even if he is still good.
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