October 20, 2025 • 37 mins
“They’re not the future church; they’re the church.” That line anchors a candid, practical conversation about leading teens with truth, empathy, and real responsibility. We share how youth ministry becomes alive when we stop performing for students and start partnering with them—listening to their world, handing them the mic, and walking with them through hard questions and honest confession.
We start by reframing relevance: you don’t need to dress young to reach young. What you do need is social awareness. Learn the terms students actually use, understand how meanings shift week to week, and treat that fluency as an act of care. Then we tackle social media with nuance. It’s not the enemy; it’s a tool. We outline how to harness platforms for connection and discipleship while teaching discernment, boundaries, and the difference between attention and formation.
From there, we get specific about sharing ministry with youth—greeting, tech, devotionals, prayer, service projects, and even teaching. We talk about the fear of mistakes and why coaching beats control. When theology needs tuning, turn it into a study lesson: how to use commentaries, compare translations, and build a biblical argument. The result is confidence anchored in Scripture, not stage time.
The heart of the episode is open communication. We urge leaders to stop beating around the bush, tell the truth with kindness, and say “I don’t know” when needed. We model how to welcome challenges during teaching and why your ministry must retire the taboo list: doubts, sexuality, porn, mental health, social issues, and tough doctrines require clear, age‑wise conversations. Finally, we map how to build a culture where confession is safer than concealment—responding without shaming, creating next steps, looping in care, and celebrating growth over perfection.
If you’re ready to see teens serve, think deeply, and trust you with their real lives, this one’s for you. Subscribe, share with a fellow leader, and leave a review with one topic you want us to tackle next.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
It is a harm to your young people to want to do
ministry, but not invite them todo it with you because you don't
feel like teaching them.
I'm going to say that again.
It is a harm to your youngpeople to want to do ministry,
but not invite them to do itwith you because you don't want
or you don't feel like teachingthem.
(00:22):
You must realize that yourministry is twofold in the fact
that you aren't just helping thehurting, you're also teaching
the help.
(00:55):
Sean is not able to be with usthis evening.
We I'm in my uh home office, Iguess, if you call it that,
doing this podcast episode, uhpraying that everything goes
smoothly.
Of course, we know it doesn'talways go smoothly, um and uh
things happen, so just bear withus.
(01:16):
Uh I do say that every episode.
I'm saying it again for probablythe third straight episode, but
bear with me tonight.
If you're having trouble withthe video, um if it's not
displaying correctly, at thevery least, listen to the audio
because um my prayer is that uhI can help an individual tonight
who is struggling, or help anindividual tonight who has
(01:39):
questions that they needanswered.
Tonight I want to discusssomething that is very near and
dear to my heart.
I was asked about two and a halfyears ago to be a youth pastor.
I had no clue what I was doing,and in some aspects, I still
don't know what I'm doing.
I never thought I would be in aposition of a youth pastor, but
(02:00):
God orchestrated it in such away, and it has caused me to
have a passion for youth morethan I've ever had before.
And with that comes challenges,of course, with that comes
different aspects of ministrythat I'm not used to, and maybe
you as a young minister or ayouth pastor, maybe you're not
(02:21):
used to either.
And this episode, it isdesigned, I guess, to help you,
it is designed to challenge you,it is designed uh not to
ridicule or belittle you, um,but maybe to shed light on
different areas that you couldimprove on.
(02:44):
We all could improve on, Ishould say.
And so my title tonight isThey're Not the Future Church,
they are the church.
They're not the future of thechurch, they are the church.
Now we likely won't covereverything in this episode.
It may be a two-parter.
We may finish it this evening.
I don't know how it goes.
I am that type of preacher, andI try, try, try not to be that
(03:07):
says I won't go too long andthen I end up going an hour and
a half.
Please understand me, I'm tryingmy best to stick within 30 to 45
minutes.
But if we can finish this in 45minutes, that'd be great, but
we'll see how it goes.
I wanted to talk to you about afew things that you need to
begin doing if you're going tobe an effective youth leader.
(03:28):
And I mentioned before I've I'vebeen youth pastor for two and a
half years, but I've helpedyouth in different aspects of
ministry most of my um years asa Christian in some way or
another.
But I want to talk to you aboutthings you can do to be an
effective youth leader.
One of the things that you cando is you could have a social
(03:50):
awareness.
Social awareness that means thatyou need to be caught up with
the times, that you need to beable to connect to your young
people.
I fear many of you justmisinterpreted what I said.
I did not say compromise, I didnot say be like the world, I did
(04:12):
not say um do things as theworld does them, but I did say
bring yourself into thiscentury.
The gospel is powerful, the wordof God is powerful, it's just as
powerful today.
The gospel is just as powerfultoday as it was hundreds and
(04:33):
hundreds and hundreds of yearsago.
But that does not mean that Ihave to only be caught up with
times of a hundred years ago.
I need to bring myself to thiscentury.
I fear uh uh, you know, I thinka lot of times we hear that and
(04:54):
we think as youth ministers, andluckily I haven't fallen too far
into this, but we think that wehave to wear certain things as
older people.
I'm not saying you're old, butas older people that make you
look like younger people.
I'm not saying do that.
I'm not saying uh what I amsaying is set the tight jeans
(05:16):
aside, okay?
I don't have to dress like ayoung person.
I don't have to dress like ayoung person to have social
awareness.
But what I am saying is you needto be aware of what is going on
in their social structures, whatis going on in their culture?
You need to be aware of theirlanguage.
(05:38):
What are they saying?
What are they trying tocommunicate to you?
Which, by the way, we are livehere.
Um, if you're listening to thepodcast, you're not live, but if
you are watching it, we arelive.
Please leave a comment, pleaseask a question.
I love, love, love questions.
Please feel free to ask aquestion.
(05:59):
But I am saying that we need tobe aware of social influences
that they have on their lives.
We need to be aware of theirlanguage.
What are they saying?
You might find it silly, youmight find it unappealing, but
languages and meanings of words,languages and meanings of words
(06:21):
are drastically changing rightbefore your very eyes, even more
so than they ever have before.
And I know that that's kind of acliche, you know, that's
happening quicker than it everhas before.
I can tell you firsthandexperience, a word I thought was
cool last Wednesday is not goingto be cool tomorrow when I go
(06:44):
into youth and try to teach themor try to relay the word of God
to them.
I made a post a few months backand I even discussed this at our
HMA conference last year.
It would benefit you to learntheir language and incorporate
it into your messages orconversations with them.
Some of you may disagree withthat, but it will make them
(07:08):
laugh.
It may even embarrass some ofthem.
But you'd be amazed at how manyyoung people love to hear you
use their words, especially ifyou use them properly.
I don't use their words just toget them to like me, but I use
them because I want them toknow, and this is really what
I'm getting at why you shoulduse them, is because you need to
(07:28):
let them know that you careabout where they are in life.
You care about the languagesthat they choose to use.
You need to familiarize yourselfwith their language.
Let me give you give some wordsto you, see if you can um
understand what they mean.
Bet no cap suslay stan.
(08:04):
You know, oh man.
A couple Sunday, not a coupleSundays, a few months ago, it's
probably been like six to eightmonths ago now.
I was in Sunday morning service,and one of my youth group came
up to me and they were talkingabout something.
I can't remember what subject itwas, and they said, bro, it's
gas.
And I'm like, I have no idea ifthat's good or bad.
(08:25):
Apparently it's a good thing.
It's it's gas, bro.
Apparently it's a good thing.
These sound hilarious.
I get it.
But if you want to understandwhat your young people are
saying, it would benefit you tounderstand the meanings of the
words that they are using.
Some of them are hilarious.
I talked to a youth pastor atcamp this past camp season, I
(08:46):
think back in July.
And she was talking about howshe said a word, and all the
kids in her class began to laughbecause the word she was using
while it used to be an everydayword or phrase or something that
was clean has been turned intosomething vulgar.
Now, I'm not saying all look, Ijust gave you a list of words.
I'm not saying all of thosewords are vulgar.
(09:08):
In fact, I don't think any ofthe words I just gave you are
vulgar.
But you need to be aware oflanguage that is changing if you
are going to be an effectiveyouth leader, youth pastor,
youth minister.
You can disagree with me, youcan argue with me all you want,
but I am telling you, if you'regonna reach young people, you've
(09:30):
got to begin to incorporatethose social things into your
life.
You need to have anunderstanding of social media.
There is nothing, I'm gonna saythis, some of you are gonna hate
me, but it makes no sensebecause you're on Facebook
watching or on YouTube watchingor on Instagram watching, but
there is nothing biblicallywrong with social media.
There is nothing biblicallywrong with social media.
(09:54):
Sean just commented.
It also doesn't mean that youshouldn't utilize social media
(10:17):
to connect to your group, youryoung people.
On average, 51% of young peoplespend almost five hours a day.
I think it's like 4.8 on socialmedia.
You need to understand how tocombat that in a way that does
not paint social media as thedevil, but that also shows the
(10:38):
danger of misusing it.
It's important to understandwhat your young people are
socially going through, whattheir languages are, what their
culture says.
Social media can be a hammer.
I think someone put it best whenthey said that it can be a
hammer.
You can build up with socialmedia or you can tear down.
(11:02):
You need to be aware of thesethings.
The second thing that you needto understand is that young
people can help in ministry.
Now, I'm gonna be honest, Igotta be honest with you.
Sometimes I struggle with this.
Sometimes it's difficult to geta teen to want to wake up in the
morning to go provide lunches tothe hungry families, or to want
(11:25):
to go and help a ministry in themiddle of a weekday.
I get that.
But just because it can bedifficult at times does not mean
that you shouldn't try or thatyou shouldn't push them to help.
If they're old enough to learn,they're old enough to help.
The disciples of Jesus werelikely between the ages.
Listen to this.
(11:47):
We don't know exact ages, butconsidering different factors,
the disciples of the disciplesof Jesus were likely between the
ages of late teenage years tolate 20s.
17, 18, 19, all the way to 29,late 20s.
(12:08):
But Jesus took those individualsand showed them true ministry.
They helped with true ministry.
They made mistakes, they gotlost, they didn't know what to
do at times, but Jesus had themhelping anyway.
(12:33):
It is a harm to your youngpeople to want to do ministry,
but not invite them to do itwith you because you don't want
or you don't feel like teachingthem.
You must realize that yourministry is twofold in the fact
that you aren't just helping thehurting, you are also teaching
the help.
(12:53):
You're not just helping thehurting, you're also teaching
the help at the same time.
It's okay to ask your youngpeople to lead youth service.
It's okay to ask your youngpeople to teach or preach.
Like, well, what did they saysomething wrong?
What if they say somethingthat's you know not quite
(13:16):
biblically biblically accurate?
Teach them.
Teach them how to study the wordof God.
Teach them how to becomescholars of the Bible.
Give them resources to help themlearn.
Don't just, you know, I think itwas uh it was Timothy, you know,
(13:38):
Paul's writing to Timothy, letno man despise your youth.
We see age and we think limit.
We see age and we pushlimitations.
Your young people are betterthan that.
I have seen young people afteryoung person after young person
(14:02):
do ministry and some of it evenmore effective than I could ever
do it.
Or they would speak toindividuals and young people and
other uh, you know, people intheir class or people their age,
whatever.
I've seen them speak to thoseindividuals and help them more
than I ever could.
(14:23):
But you don't want to teach theministry because of the
inconvenience that it causesyou.
They can help with ministry.
Now, I'm I'm getting to thefinal section of this.
This will probably take me thelongest.
It's the bread and butter ofthis episode when it comes to
(14:43):
helping young people in yourministry.
You've got to help them sociallyunderstand where they're at
socially, understand theirlanguages.
You've got to help them realizethat they can help in ministry.
And finally, biggest thing ever,if you want to grow your
ministry, you know, I'm notgiving you a um, you know,
(15:06):
here's a prayer cloth, and ifyou uh take this prayer cloth
and whatever, like your ministryis gonna explode.
I'm not giving you a uh quickfix to building your ministry,
but I am saying if you want toreach young people in a way that
you never had before, this lastpoint is is probably one of, if
(15:28):
not the most important, aspect.
And that is you need to haveopen doors of communication with
your young people.
You need to have open doors ofcommunication with your young
people.
Teens are very interestingcreatures in the fact that they
love to be listened to, theylove to tell you about their
(15:50):
day, they love to tell you aboutwhat happened last week, they
love to tell you a joke, or theylove being made to feel
comfortable with themselves andbeing themselves.
It is not a one-way road.
It is not a one-way line ofcommunication.
(16:12):
When you're talking with youngpeople, it's not your way or the
highway.
They get that from everywhereelse, and they get that enough
everywhere else.
Many of them, I know there'sindividuals in my youth group
currently that have parents thatwon't listen to them.
Many of them have friends thatare using them.
(16:33):
Many of them have struggles thatthey will not share with anyone
because they are either A, notlistened to, or B, made to feel
bad or made to feel as thoughthey have to walk on glass when
they're speaking to others.
But not you.
Not you as their leader, not youas their youth pastor, not you
(16:53):
as their helper.
I'm not asking you to be theirparent.
That's the parent's job, butwhat happens when the parent
isn't doing their job?
Do you realize how many youngpeople have come up to me and
said, Thank you for listening tome?
(17:14):
Thank you for talking to me.
You made me feel like a human.
I can't tell you how many timesI've been at a youth camp, youth
services, youth retreat, um,youth revivals, youth rallies,
where the minister will get upand preach a message trying to
(17:37):
draw young people to an altar,and then afterwards has nothing
to do with the young people,doesn't talk with them, doesn't
share with them, doesn't givethem insight, doesn't disciple
them, but instead talks to theadults, eats with the adults,
and then leaves.
I'm gonna tell you right now ifyou're a minister preaching at
(17:58):
those kind of congregations, youare never going to connect with
young people by shutting themout and only having an open line
of communication with them whenyou're preaching, that is one
way.
We often see them for their ageand look down on them, even
(18:20):
though they're humans.
They have emotions, they havehurt, they care, and they just
want someone to talk to.
And opening doors forcommunication with young people,
there are a few key points inkeeping those doors and lines
open.
Number one, you need to stopbeating around the bush.
(18:41):
You need to stop beating aroundthe bush.
The the first year I was saved,saved in February, and February
of 07.
And that July we went to a youthcamp.
I felt the call to preach evenbefore I was saved.
I felt just that drawing, Ican't explain it, don't ask.
(19:04):
But we were at this youth camp,one of the very first ones I
went to, in fact, it may havebeen the first one I ever went
to.
And I attended, and after thealtar service was getting close
to being finished, I asked theleader of that camp if I could
stand and testify in the middleof the altar service.
I had zeal, I had passion, Iwanted to share what I was
(19:25):
thinking or what I thought Godwas speaking to me and through
me.
And I was told by the head ofthe lead uh pastor that there
would be a time for testimonieslater on, and that I could share
them then, only to find out thatthere wasn't a time for
testimonies.
I couldn't share what was on myheart.
(19:46):
Now look, understand somethingreal quick.
I don't fault that leader atall.
I believe he handled it as thebest that he knew how, but the
reality is that I should havebeen simply told no.
I know that shocks you.
You might think that I wouldhave said, he should have let me
up there to testify.
No.
I was young, I was zealous, Ihad no idea what I was doing, no
(20:08):
idea what I was saying, no ideathe timing issue.
I didn't know or think about anyof that.
So he should have said no, notat this moment, but maybe later
on.
No, not at this moment, but ifthere's an opportunity later, we
will make it happen.
Because I needed that bluntnessand I needed that truth.
And unfortunately, as leaders,we become so afraid of truth,
(20:32):
not because we don't believe it,but because we don't want to
hurt someone.
And sometimes it's a little bitof both.
While I understand the sentimentand reasoning behind that
mindset, I want you to know thatbeating around the bush does
more hurt than the truth does.
Beating around the bush doesmore hurt than the truth does.
(20:54):
If someone tells me the truthabout a situation, it hurts me
for a little bit.
But eventually I get over it.
I become mature enough to handleit.
I change my mind, I have anunderstanding.
But if someone tells me a lieabout that situation, it hurts
for a very long time.
And even if I do get over it, ittakes me a long time to trust
(21:18):
that individual again, if I everdo.
Young people are hungry fortruth.
They're seeking truth.
They want truth.
When you're asked a question andyou give some made-up answer
because you want to feelscholarly, and it turns out to
be a dumb answer, or one thatyou can't take back, you are
(21:38):
beating around the bush when asimple I don't know, but I'll
find out would suffice.
Your young people need to knowthat you don't know everything,
or that you don't have all ofthe answers.
I get it.
Well, I'm pastor, I should haveall the answers.
You don't.
(21:59):
That's reality.
The problem is we like to livein fairy tale land instead of
living in reality.
Fairy tale land says I knoweverything about the Bible and
no one can come against me.
But reality is I'm still 15, 16,17 years into my salvation,
still learning things about theBible, still learning biblical
(22:22):
truths and biblical principles.
Fairy tale land says it is myway or the highway, but reality
says, my way may be one way, butit may not always be the right
way.
Your young people need to knowthat you don't know everything.
Stop pretending that they aretoo young to learn truth, no
(22:43):
matter how hard it is, because Iguarantee that they have heard
and are hearing worse daily.
Young people are starving fortruth while some in my
generation and the generationsbefore me fear conversation.
Oh, fear it, don't want to talkabout it.
(23:05):
Feel as though if I haveconversation or if I have a
little bit of an argument or alittle bit of a disagreement,
then for like somehow I'm notbeing Christ-like.
Go through your Bible and tellme if Christ ever had a
disagreement that he vocallytold someone.
You're gonna find it.
(23:27):
Stop believing and thinking thatif I have difficult
conversations, even with myyoung people, that that
automatically means that I'm notbeing Christ-like.
In fact, it's being moreChrist-like to have those
conversations.
We can't beat around the bush.
There is a way to speak as theBible says, seasoned with salt,
(23:47):
a way that is truthful and maybeat times hurtful, a way that is
proper to handle, or a properway to handle things.
Don't be mean.
Not saying you should yell or belittle.
I'm not saying that you shouldtreat your young people as lowly
peasants, but I am saying thatyou need to speak the truth to
them in boldness, even if theanswer is I don't know.
(24:10):
I had a young, um, a couple ofyoung guys a couple weeks ago.
I was preaching, I was teaching,I was telling, you know, truths
about um different social thingsthat were going on and what the
Bible said about them.
And I had a young man come up tome after I was teaching.
Look, I'm not bragging, um, thisis my own testimony, and he
(24:34):
said, Thank you for saying that.
And I'm talking about things itwas rather hard, it was rather
harsh.
I questioned whether I shouldsay it, I'll be honest, but it
was truth.
And I said it in a way thatwasn't harmful, and he said,
Thank you for saying that.
No one has ever said that kindof stuff to us before, and man,
(24:57):
did that just smite me, right,smote me right in the heart.
It hurt.
Because this guy, 17 years old,maybe fixing to turn 18, had
never heard, he's been to churchseveral times throughout his
life, had never heard anotherminister tell him the truth in
that way.
(25:18):
You need to speak the truth inboldness, even if the answer is
I don't know, or the answer isI'll find out later, or the
answer is somewhat hurtful.
Another key, and this issomewhat hand in hand with the
blunt or boldness aspect, andthat is as far as open door of
communication, is we don't allowquestions.
(25:39):
We do not allow questions.
And when I say this, I need youto know that I'm not talking
about elementary biblicalquestions.
Some of you are saying, Well, Ialways allow people to ask me
questions in regards to umwhether or not Noah built the
ark or whether, you know, I'mjust throwing stuff out there.
But I'm talking about the timeswhen you preach or teach
(26:00):
something that you feel God haslaid on your heart, and a
student or a young personchallenges that.
Not that they are being defiant,but that they are challenging or
questioning or wondering.
We have this mindset, and it's areally strange mindset that for
some reason, because we'recalled to be youth pastors,
(26:21):
because God laid something onour heart, because God has
anointed us, that thatautomatically negates people
asking questions about somethingthat we study for.
Well, I studied for seven hourson this sermon.
I can't believe this personwould ask a question about that.
Yeah, but you're human.
Maybe you made a mistake, maybeyou didn't clarify it good
enough, maybe you need to domore.
(26:44):
If I stand up and teach orpreach against abortion, and one
of my students either during orafterwards raises their hand or
approaches me after service andplays the devil's advocate or
ask a question that is askquestions that is contradiction
to what I taught or preached,and they are doing it with a
genuine attitude and desire tolearn.
I don't turn that individualaway.
(27:04):
I don't say it's my way or thehighway.
I don't say you aren't supposedto ask those kinds of questions.
I don't say you need to study alittle bit more or go ask
someone else.
I listen.
I listen.
I have an open ear, I have anopen heart, I have an open mind.
Not because my heart and mindwill be changed necessarily,
though it could cause me tostudy or search more, but
(27:26):
because I want to get a grasp onhow a young person thinks.
Because I want to grasp themindset that asks or causes that
question.
The fact is that most of you areafraid of particular questions
being asked because you don'thave the answer, or you are not
as firm in your belief of youranswer.
(27:49):
This thought.
Get a firm foundational beliefsurrounding subjects that are
tough, surrounding subjects thatare hush hush.
(28:11):
And that brings me to my nextpoint as far as keeping doors of
communication open.
And that is we need to stoptreating certain subjects like
they are taboo just becausewe're in a church.
Say that again.
You're gonna get hurt, you'regonna hate me.
I'm telling you how to reach andhelp young people.
(28:33):
We need to stop treating certainsubjects like they are taboo
just because we are in thechurch.
I'm gonna go down a list reallyfast, a brief list.
There's may way more than this.
Of things that you think aretaboo but are actually needed
within church and needed withinthis discussions to your young
(28:55):
people.
Doubts and questions.
Is it okay to question God?
That's not taboo.
That's something you need totalk about.
Relationships, relationships andsexuality.
That's not taboo.
That's those are those arethings you need to discuss and
you need to address.
(29:17):
Men are struggling with porn andlust.
Women are struggling with um howto properly attract someone.
Um a subject you think is taboothat really isn't and should be
discussed is mental andemotional health.
Every time you hear the wordsmental and emotional health, you
(29:37):
roll your eyes and you turn offthis podcast.
But I am telling you, there arereasons why young people are
mentally hurting.
There could be a physical aspectto it, but they are mentally and
emotionally hurting.
You think that social issues aretaboo, like gun control and
(29:57):
abortion, and immigration.
You think global issues aretaboo, like Israel and
Palestine.
You think doctrines, certaindoctrines, are taboo, like the
Book of Revelation.
The list goes on and on and on.
There are things in questionthat your young people have
about subjects that they aredealing with on a daily basis.
(30:20):
And I'm sorry, but if you arenot if you are not addressing
issues that young people aredealing with on a daily basis,
you might want to find anotherprofession.
They are facing it on a dailybasis, but they're afraid to ask
or talk about it.
Because you have created aculture and an environment that
(30:41):
says, if it's not something Idealt with when I was younger,
then it isn't relevant.
Or if it's not something we canpreach from behind the pulpit,
it isn't right to talk aboutanywhere else.
Or if brother or sisterso-and-so were here, what would
they think or what would theysay?
You can be strategic.
I'm not saying go and talk aboutpornography in front of people
(31:02):
of the opposite sex.
But your young men need to knowhow to break free from that
addiction.
I'm not saying be vulgar.
Vulgarity comes from a mind thatis immature spiritually and
physically, but there aresubjects that young people are
facing that they need to knowyou have their backs about.
(31:23):
That you'll find an answer.
That you'll do everything youcan to help them, which again
brings me to my final pointregarding the open door
communication.
And then I'll close.
And that is you are notfostering, or you need to be
fostering, a culture ofcommunication from them to you.
(31:45):
A culture of communication fromthem to you.
I want to ask you this question.
If one of your young ladies inyour church came up to you and
said, I made a mistake, I smokedpot with my friends, and I've
been trying to quit, but I had arelapse.
What if she did that and youranswer was something along the
(32:07):
lines of, What were youthinking?
Like, how could you do that?
Are you stupid?
When are you gonna grow up?
When are you gonna change?
Why would you make a mistakeagain after knowing all these
things?
If you just sit there andbelittle and ridicule and hurt.
What if that same young ladythat went came up to you and
(32:30):
said that and I belittled themand I said any amount or or any
of those things I justmentioned, and that same young
lady was ridiculed for somethingsmall like this, and I call it
small in the grand scheme ofthings, why would she approach
you or your wife or someonewithin the church leadership if
she later got pregnant out ofwedlock?
(32:51):
I ask that because these thingsare serious and they're
happening.
You need to have a viewpointthat is not so boxed in that
when people who are human commitsin that is transgression
against God's word, that youlook at them less than human.
(33:14):
They are human just like you arehuman.
I have told our young peoplemany, many a time that if you
ever do anything that is amistake, if you ever do anything
that hurts you or someone else,if you ever do anything that you
don't feel like you'recomfortable to talk to anyone
else about, I want you to knowthat I'm here for you, that I
(33:36):
love you, that I care about you,and that I will not, I've told
them this many times, I will notbelittle you.
You need to have such an opendoor and such a love in your
heart that when a young personconfides in you about a huge
mistake that they made, theyknow they are confiding in
someone who is not there tobelittle, who is not there to
(33:57):
hurt, who is not there to yell,but they are confiding in
someone, confiding in someonewho can help.
Be careful with what you believeis helping, it could actually be
hurting.
Be careful with what you believeis helping, it could actually be
hurting.
Open door of communication opendoor of communication.
(34:23):
You've got to have socialawareness, understand their
language, understand socialmedia, understand that the music
that they listen to today isgoing to be different than what
you listened to back in the 60s,and it's probably going to be
more doctrinally correct thanwhat you listened to in the 60s
too.
I said it.
Ask me about it later if youneed to.
(34:46):
And most importantly, you've gotto have an open door of
communication.
Not a one-way street, not justyou preaching, not just you
yelling, not just you teaching,but you listening.
One of the key aspects incoaching is having an open ear
to listen.
Because you could have adifferent understanding after
(35:09):
you listen.
But even more important thanthat, those young people that
you're pastoring are talking andnobody else is listening.
Those young people that you'repastoring are saying stuff that
no one else is hearing.
You need to be that listeningear.
(35:31):
You need to be those open arms.
You need to be that individualthat helps instead of hurts.
They are not the future church,they are the church.
And as their minister, pastor,leader, it is your job to help.
I want to thank everybody who umis listening to this episode.
(35:53):
I pray that it helped you insome way, form, or fashion.
Please, if you have anyquestions, the comment box is
right there.
You can leave a comment onYouTube, Twitch.
I know we're on um Facebook onour podcast and Facebook on HMA.
So please, please, please leaveus a comment in there or
question or message us directly.
Of course, if you're listeningto this um over Buzz Sprout or
(36:14):
over Apple or any other podcastplatform, you can find us on the
social media platform of yourchurch by choice by searching at
podcast the number four him.
That's at podcast the numberfour him.
And if you're watching thisvideo and you want to know how
to find our audio version, youcan search us at the everyday
Christian Podcast.
(36:34):
It's up there on the screen.
The Every and Day are twoseparate words.
Don't put them together oryou're not going to be able to
find us.
The Everyday Christian Podcast.
Two separate words there.
You will be able to find us onthe podcast platform of your
choice.
I wanted to again say God bless.
Thank you all for listening in.
We will be back.
Hopefully, we plan on nextTuesday to do a really
(36:55):
controversial episode and lessonthere.
Please join us there as well.
And God bless you, and you allhave a good night.
It is a harm to your young people to want to do
ministry, but not invite them todo it with you because you don't
feel like teaching them.
I'm going to say that again.
It is a harm to your youngpeople to want to do ministry,
but not invite them to do itwith you because you don't want
or you don't feel like teachingthem.
(00:22):
You must realize that yourministry is twofold in the fact
that you aren't just helping thehurting, you're also teaching
the help.
(00:55):
Sean is not able to be with usthis evening.
We I'm in my uh home office, Iguess, if you call it that,
doing this podcast episode, uhpraying that everything goes
smoothly.
Of course, we know it doesn'talways go smoothly, um and uh
things happen, so just bear withus.
(01:16):
Uh I do say that every episode.
I'm saying it again for probablythe third straight episode, but
bear with me tonight.
If you're having trouble withthe video, um if it's not
displaying correctly, at thevery least, listen to the audio
because um my prayer is that uhI can help an individual tonight
who is struggling, or help anindividual tonight who has
(01:39):
questions that they needanswered.
Tonight I want to discusssomething that is very near and
dear to my heart.
I was asked about two and a halfyears ago to be a youth pastor.
I had no clue what I was doing,and in some aspects, I still
don't know what I'm doing.
I never thought I would be in aposition of a youth pastor, but
(02:00):
God orchestrated it in such away, and it has caused me to
have a passion for youth morethan I've ever had before.
And with that comes challenges,of course, with that comes
different aspects of ministrythat I'm not used to, and maybe
you as a young minister or ayouth pastor, maybe you're not
(02:21):
used to either.
And this episode, it isdesigned, I guess, to help you,
it is designed to challenge you,it is designed uh not to
ridicule or belittle you, um,but maybe to shed light on
different areas that you couldimprove on.
(02:44):
We all could improve on, Ishould say.
And so my title tonight isThey're Not the Future Church,
they are the church.
They're not the future of thechurch, they are the church.
Now we likely won't covereverything in this episode.
It may be a two-parter.
We may finish it this evening.
I don't know how it goes.
I am that type of preacher, andI try, try, try not to be that
(03:07):
says I won't go too long andthen I end up going an hour and
a half.
Please understand me, I'm tryingmy best to stick within 30 to 45
minutes.
But if we can finish this in 45minutes, that'd be great, but
we'll see how it goes.
I wanted to talk to you about afew things that you need to
begin doing if you're going tobe an effective youth leader.
(03:28):
And I mentioned before I've I'vebeen youth pastor for two and a
half years, but I've helpedyouth in different aspects of
ministry most of my um years asa Christian in some way or
another.
But I want to talk to you aboutthings you can do to be an
effective youth leader.
One of the things that you cando is you could have a social
(03:50):
awareness.
Social awareness that means thatyou need to be caught up with
the times, that you need to beable to connect to your young
people.
I fear many of you justmisinterpreted what I said.
I did not say compromise, I didnot say be like the world, I did
(04:12):
not say um do things as theworld does them, but I did say
bring yourself into thiscentury.
The gospel is powerful, the wordof God is powerful, it's just as
powerful today.
The gospel is just as powerfultoday as it was hundreds and
(04:33):
hundreds and hundreds of yearsago.
But that does not mean that Ihave to only be caught up with
times of a hundred years ago.
I need to bring myself to thiscentury.
I fear uh uh, you know, I thinka lot of times we hear that and
(04:54):
we think as youth ministers, andluckily I haven't fallen too far
into this, but we think that wehave to wear certain things as
older people.
I'm not saying you're old, butas older people that make you
look like younger people.
I'm not saying do that.
I'm not saying uh what I amsaying is set the tight jeans
(05:16):
aside, okay?
I don't have to dress like ayoung person.
I don't have to dress like ayoung person to have social
awareness.
But what I am saying is you needto be aware of what is going on
in their social structures, whatis going on in their culture?
You need to be aware of theirlanguage.
(05:38):
What are they saying?
What are they trying tocommunicate to you?
Which, by the way, we are livehere.
Um, if you're listening to thepodcast, you're not live, but if
you are watching it, we arelive.
Please leave a comment, pleaseask a question.
I love, love, love questions.
Please feel free to ask aquestion.
(05:59):
But I am saying that we need tobe aware of social influences
that they have on their lives.
We need to be aware of theirlanguage.
What are they saying?
You might find it silly, youmight find it unappealing, but
languages and meanings of words,languages and meanings of words
(06:21):
are drastically changing rightbefore your very eyes, even more
so than they ever have before.
And I know that that's kind of acliche, you know, that's
happening quicker than it everhas before.
I can tell you firsthandexperience, a word I thought was
cool last Wednesday is not goingto be cool tomorrow when I go
(06:44):
into youth and try to teach themor try to relay the word of God
to them.
I made a post a few months backand I even discussed this at our
HMA conference last year.
It would benefit you to learntheir language and incorporate
it into your messages orconversations with them.
Some of you may disagree withthat, but it will make them
(07:08):
laugh.
It may even embarrass some ofthem.
But you'd be amazed at how manyyoung people love to hear you
use their words, especially ifyou use them properly.
I don't use their words just toget them to like me, but I use
them because I want them toknow, and this is really what
I'm getting at why you shoulduse them, is because you need to
(07:28):
let them know that you careabout where they are in life.
You care about the languagesthat they choose to use.
You need to familiarize yourselfwith their language.
Let me give you give some wordsto you, see if you can um
understand what they mean.
Bet no cap suslay stan.
(08:04):
You know, oh man.
A couple Sunday, not a coupleSundays, a few months ago, it's
probably been like six to eightmonths ago now.
I was in Sunday morning service,and one of my youth group came
up to me and they were talkingabout something.
I can't remember what subject itwas, and they said, bro, it's
gas.
And I'm like, I have no idea ifthat's good or bad.
(08:25):
Apparently it's a good thing.
It's it's gas, bro.
Apparently it's a good thing.
These sound hilarious.
I get it.
But if you want to understandwhat your young people are
saying, it would benefit you tounderstand the meanings of the
words that they are using.
Some of them are hilarious.
I talked to a youth pastor atcamp this past camp season, I
(08:46):
think back in July.
And she was talking about howshe said a word, and all the
kids in her class began to laughbecause the word she was using
while it used to be an everydayword or phrase or something that
was clean has been turned intosomething vulgar.
Now, I'm not saying all look, Ijust gave you a list of words.
I'm not saying all of thosewords are vulgar.
(09:08):
In fact, I don't think any ofthe words I just gave you are
vulgar.
But you need to be aware oflanguage that is changing if you
are going to be an effectiveyouth leader, youth pastor,
youth minister.
You can disagree with me, youcan argue with me all you want,
but I am telling you, if you'regonna reach young people, you've
(09:30):
got to begin to incorporatethose social things into your
life.
You need to have anunderstanding of social media.
There is nothing, I'm gonna saythis, some of you are gonna hate
me, but it makes no sensebecause you're on Facebook
watching or on YouTube watchingor on Instagram watching, but
there is nothing biblicallywrong with social media.
There is nothing biblicallywrong with social media.
(09:54):
Sean just commented.
It also doesn't mean that youshouldn't utilize social media
(10:17):
to connect to your group, youryoung people.
On average, 51% of young peoplespend almost five hours a day.
I think it's like 4.8 on socialmedia.
You need to understand how tocombat that in a way that does
not paint social media as thedevil, but that also shows the
(10:38):
danger of misusing it.
It's important to understandwhat your young people are
socially going through, whattheir languages are, what their
culture says.
Social media can be a hammer.
I think someone put it best whenthey said that it can be a
hammer.
You can build up with socialmedia or you can tear down.
(11:02):
You need to be aware of thesethings.
The second thing that you needto understand is that young
people can help in ministry.
Now, I'm gonna be honest, Igotta be honest with you.
Sometimes I struggle with this.
Sometimes it's difficult to geta teen to want to wake up in the
morning to go provide lunches tothe hungry families, or to want
(11:25):
to go and help a ministry in themiddle of a weekday.
I get that.
But just because it can bedifficult at times does not mean
that you shouldn't try or thatyou shouldn't push them to help.
If they're old enough to learn,they're old enough to help.
The disciples of Jesus werelikely between the ages.
Listen to this.
(11:47):
We don't know exact ages, butconsidering different factors,
the disciples of the disciplesof Jesus were likely between the
ages of late teenage years tolate 20s.
17, 18, 19, all the way to 29,late 20s.
(12:08):
But Jesus took those individualsand showed them true ministry.
They helped with true ministry.
They made mistakes, they gotlost, they didn't know what to
do at times, but Jesus had themhelping anyway.
(12:33):
It is a harm to your youngpeople to want to do ministry,
but not invite them to do itwith you because you don't want
or you don't feel like teachingthem.
You must realize that yourministry is twofold in the fact
that you aren't just helping thehurting, you are also teaching
the help.
(12:53):
You're not just helping thehurting, you're also teaching
the help at the same time.
It's okay to ask your youngpeople to lead youth service.
It's okay to ask your youngpeople to teach or preach.
Like, well, what did they saysomething wrong?
What if they say somethingthat's you know not quite
(13:16):
biblically biblically accurate?
Teach them.
Teach them how to study the wordof God.
Teach them how to becomescholars of the Bible.
Give them resources to help themlearn.
Don't just, you know, I think itwas uh it was Timothy, you know,
(13:38):
Paul's writing to Timothy, letno man despise your youth.
We see age and we think limit.
We see age and we pushlimitations.
Your young people are betterthan that.
I have seen young people afteryoung person after young person
(14:02):
do ministry and some of it evenmore effective than I could ever
do it.
Or they would speak toindividuals and young people and
other uh, you know, people intheir class or people their age,
whatever.
I've seen them speak to thoseindividuals and help them more
than I ever could.
(14:23):
But you don't want to teach theministry because of the
inconvenience that it causesyou.
They can help with ministry.
Now, I'm I'm getting to thefinal section of this.
This will probably take me thelongest.
It's the bread and butter ofthis episode when it comes to
(14:43):
helping young people in yourministry.
You've got to help them sociallyunderstand where they're at
socially, understand theirlanguages.
You've got to help them realizethat they can help in ministry.
And finally, biggest thing ever,if you want to grow your
ministry, you know, I'm notgiving you a um, you know,
(15:06):
here's a prayer cloth, and ifyou uh take this prayer cloth
and whatever, like your ministryis gonna explode.
I'm not giving you a uh quickfix to building your ministry,
but I am saying if you want toreach young people in a way that
you never had before, this lastpoint is is probably one of, if
(15:28):
not the most important, aspect.
And that is you need to haveopen doors of communication with
your young people.
You need to have open doors ofcommunication with your young
people.
Teens are very interestingcreatures in the fact that they
love to be listened to, theylove to tell you about their
(15:50):
day, they love to tell you aboutwhat happened last week, they
love to tell you a joke, or theylove being made to feel
comfortable with themselves andbeing themselves.
It is not a one-way road.
It is not a one-way line ofcommunication.
(16:12):
When you're talking with youngpeople, it's not your way or the
highway.
They get that from everywhereelse, and they get that enough
everywhere else.
Many of them, I know there'sindividuals in my youth group
currently that have parents thatwon't listen to them.
Many of them have friends thatare using them.
(16:33):
Many of them have struggles thatthey will not share with anyone
because they are either A, notlistened to, or B, made to feel
bad or made to feel as thoughthey have to walk on glass when
they're speaking to others.
But not you.
Not you as their leader, not youas their youth pastor, not you
(16:53):
as their helper.
I'm not asking you to be theirparent.
That's the parent's job, butwhat happens when the parent
isn't doing their job?
Do you realize how many youngpeople have come up to me and
said, Thank you for listening tome?
(17:14):
Thank you for talking to me.
You made me feel like a human.
I can't tell you how many timesI've been at a youth camp, youth
services, youth retreat, um,youth revivals, youth rallies,
where the minister will get upand preach a message trying to
(17:37):
draw young people to an altar,and then afterwards has nothing
to do with the young people,doesn't talk with them, doesn't
share with them, doesn't givethem insight, doesn't disciple
them, but instead talks to theadults, eats with the adults,
and then leaves.
I'm gonna tell you right now ifyou're a minister preaching at
(17:58):
those kind of congregations, youare never going to connect with
young people by shutting themout and only having an open line
of communication with them whenyou're preaching, that is one
way.
We often see them for their ageand look down on them, even
(18:20):
though they're humans.
They have emotions, they havehurt, they care, and they just
want someone to talk to.
And opening doors forcommunication with young people,
there are a few key points inkeeping those doors and lines
open.
Number one, you need to stopbeating around the bush.
(18:41):
You need to stop beating aroundthe bush.
The the first year I was saved,saved in February, and February
of 07.
And that July we went to a youthcamp.
I felt the call to preach evenbefore I was saved.
I felt just that drawing, Ican't explain it, don't ask.
(19:04):
But we were at this youth camp,one of the very first ones I
went to, in fact, it may havebeen the first one I ever went
to.
And I attended, and after thealtar service was getting close
to being finished, I asked theleader of that camp if I could
stand and testify in the middleof the altar service.
I had zeal, I had passion, Iwanted to share what I was
(19:25):
thinking or what I thought Godwas speaking to me and through
me.
And I was told by the head ofthe lead uh pastor that there
would be a time for testimonieslater on, and that I could share
them then, only to find out thatthere wasn't a time for
testimonies.
I couldn't share what was on myheart.
(19:46):
Now look, understand somethingreal quick.
I don't fault that leader atall.
I believe he handled it as thebest that he knew how, but the
reality is that I should havebeen simply told no.
I know that shocks you.
You might think that I wouldhave said, he should have let me
up there to testify.
No.
I was young, I was zealous, Ihad no idea what I was doing, no
(20:08):
idea what I was saying, no ideathe timing issue.
I didn't know or think about anyof that.
So he should have said no, notat this moment, but maybe later
on.
No, not at this moment, but ifthere's an opportunity later, we
will make it happen.
Because I needed that bluntnessand I needed that truth.
And unfortunately, as leaders,we become so afraid of truth,
(20:32):
not because we don't believe it,but because we don't want to
hurt someone.
And sometimes it's a little bitof both.
While I understand the sentimentand reasoning behind that
mindset, I want you to know thatbeating around the bush does
more hurt than the truth does.
Beating around the bush doesmore hurt than the truth does.
(20:54):
If someone tells me the truthabout a situation, it hurts me
for a little bit.
But eventually I get over it.
I become mature enough to handleit.
I change my mind, I have anunderstanding.
But if someone tells me a lieabout that situation, it hurts
for a very long time.
And even if I do get over it, ittakes me a long time to trust
(21:18):
that individual again, if I everdo.
Young people are hungry fortruth.
They're seeking truth.
They want truth.
When you're asked a question andyou give some made-up answer
because you want to feelscholarly, and it turns out to
be a dumb answer, or one thatyou can't take back, you are
(21:38):
beating around the bush when asimple I don't know, but I'll
find out would suffice.
Your young people need to knowthat you don't know everything,
or that you don't have all ofthe answers.
I get it.
Well, I'm pastor, I should haveall the answers.
You don't.
(21:59):
That's reality.
The problem is we like to livein fairy tale land instead of
living in reality.
Fairy tale land says I knoweverything about the Bible and
no one can come against me.
But reality is I'm still 15, 16,17 years into my salvation,
still learning things about theBible, still learning biblical
(22:22):
truths and biblical principles.
Fairy tale land says it is myway or the highway, but reality
says, my way may be one way, butit may not always be the right
way.
Your young people need to knowthat you don't know everything.
Stop pretending that they aretoo young to learn truth, no
(22:43):
matter how hard it is, because Iguarantee that they have heard
and are hearing worse daily.
Young people are starving fortruth while some in my
generation and the generationsbefore me fear conversation.
Oh, fear it, don't want to talkabout it.
(23:05):
Feel as though if I haveconversation or if I have a
little bit of an argument or alittle bit of a disagreement,
then for like somehow I'm notbeing Christ-like.
Go through your Bible and tellme if Christ ever had a
disagreement that he vocallytold someone.
You're gonna find it.
(23:27):
Stop believing and thinking thatif I have difficult
conversations, even with myyoung people, that that
automatically means that I'm notbeing Christ-like.
In fact, it's being moreChrist-like to have those
conversations.
We can't beat around the bush.
There is a way to speak as theBible says, seasoned with salt,
(23:47):
a way that is truthful and maybeat times hurtful, a way that is
proper to handle, or a properway to handle things.
Don't be mean.
Not saying you should yell or belittle.
I'm not saying that you shouldtreat your young people as lowly
peasants, but I am saying thatyou need to speak the truth to
them in boldness, even if theanswer is I don't know.
(24:10):
I had a young, um, a couple ofyoung guys a couple weeks ago.
I was preaching, I was teaching,I was telling, you know, truths
about um different social thingsthat were going on and what the
Bible said about them.
And I had a young man come up tome after I was teaching.
Look, I'm not bragging, um, thisis my own testimony, and he
(24:34):
said, Thank you for saying that.
And I'm talking about things itwas rather hard, it was rather
harsh.
I questioned whether I shouldsay it, I'll be honest, but it
was truth.
And I said it in a way thatwasn't harmful, and he said,
Thank you for saying that.
No one has ever said that kindof stuff to us before, and man,
(24:57):
did that just smite me, right,smote me right in the heart.
It hurt.
Because this guy, 17 years old,maybe fixing to turn 18, had
never heard, he's been to churchseveral times throughout his
life, had never heard anotherminister tell him the truth in
that way.
(25:18):
You need to speak the truth inboldness, even if the answer is
I don't know, or the answer isI'll find out later, or the
answer is somewhat hurtful.
Another key, and this issomewhat hand in hand with the
blunt or boldness aspect, andthat is as far as open door of
communication, is we don't allowquestions.
(25:39):
We do not allow questions.
And when I say this, I need youto know that I'm not talking
about elementary biblicalquestions.
Some of you are saying, Well, Ialways allow people to ask me
questions in regards to umwhether or not Noah built the
ark or whether, you know, I'mjust throwing stuff out there.
But I'm talking about the timeswhen you preach or teach
(26:00):
something that you feel God haslaid on your heart, and a
student or a young personchallenges that.
Not that they are being defiant,but that they are challenging or
questioning or wondering.
We have this mindset, and it's areally strange mindset that for
some reason, because we'recalled to be youth pastors,
(26:21):
because God laid something onour heart, because God has
anointed us, that thatautomatically negates people
asking questions about somethingthat we study for.
Well, I studied for seven hourson this sermon.
I can't believe this personwould ask a question about that.
Yeah, but you're human.
Maybe you made a mistake, maybeyou didn't clarify it good
enough, maybe you need to domore.
(26:44):
If I stand up and teach orpreach against abortion, and one
of my students either during orafterwards raises their hand or
approaches me after service andplays the devil's advocate or
ask a question that is askquestions that is contradiction
to what I taught or preached,and they are doing it with a
genuine attitude and desire tolearn.
I don't turn that individualaway.
(27:04):
I don't say it's my way or thehighway.
I don't say you aren't supposedto ask those kinds of questions.
I don't say you need to study alittle bit more or go ask
someone else.
I listen.
I listen.
I have an open ear, I have anopen heart, I have an open mind.
Not because my heart and mindwill be changed necessarily,
though it could cause me tostudy or search more, but
(27:26):
because I want to get a grasp onhow a young person thinks.
Because I want to grasp themindset that asks or causes that
question.
The fact is that most of you areafraid of particular questions
being asked because you don'thave the answer, or you are not
as firm in your belief of youranswer.
(27:49):
This thought.
Get a firm foundational beliefsurrounding subjects that are
tough, surrounding subjects thatare hush hush.
(28:11):
And that brings me to my nextpoint as far as keeping doors of
communication open.
And that is we need to stoptreating certain subjects like
they are taboo just becausewe're in a church.
Say that again.
You're gonna get hurt, you'regonna hate me.
I'm telling you how to reach andhelp young people.
(28:33):
We need to stop treating certainsubjects like they are taboo
just because we are in thechurch.
I'm gonna go down a list reallyfast, a brief list.
There's may way more than this.
Of things that you think aretaboo but are actually needed
within church and needed withinthis discussions to your young
(28:55):
people.
Doubts and questions.
Is it okay to question God?
That's not taboo.
That's something you need totalk about.
Relationships, relationships andsexuality.
That's not taboo.
That's those are those arethings you need to discuss and
you need to address.
(29:17):
Men are struggling with porn andlust.
Women are struggling with um howto properly attract someone.
Um a subject you think is taboothat really isn't and should be
discussed is mental andemotional health.
Every time you hear the wordsmental and emotional health, you
(29:37):
roll your eyes and you turn offthis podcast.
But I am telling you, there arereasons why young people are
mentally hurting.
There could be a physical aspectto it, but they are mentally and
emotionally hurting.
You think that social issues aretaboo, like gun control and
(29:57):
abortion, and immigration.
You think global issues aretaboo, like Israel and
Palestine.
You think doctrines, certaindoctrines, are taboo, like the
Book of Revelation.
The list goes on and on and on.
There are things in questionthat your young people have
about subjects that they aredealing with on a daily basis.
(30:20):
And I'm sorry, but if you arenot if you are not addressing
issues that young people aredealing with on a daily basis,
you might want to find anotherprofession.
They are facing it on a dailybasis, but they're afraid to ask
or talk about it.
Because you have created aculture and an environment that
(30:41):
says, if it's not something Idealt with when I was younger,
then it isn't relevant.
Or if it's not something we canpreach from behind the pulpit,
it isn't right to talk aboutanywhere else.
Or if brother or sisterso-and-so were here, what would
they think or what would theysay?
You can be strategic.
I'm not saying go and talk aboutpornography in front of people
(31:02):
of the opposite sex.
But your young men need to knowhow to break free from that
addiction.
I'm not saying be vulgar.
Vulgarity comes from a mind thatis immature spiritually and
physically, but there aresubjects that young people are
facing that they need to knowyou have their backs about.
(31:23):
That you'll find an answer.
That you'll do everything youcan to help them, which again
brings me to my final pointregarding the open door
communication.
And then I'll close.
And that is you are notfostering, or you need to be
fostering, a culture ofcommunication from them to you.
(31:45):
A culture of communication fromthem to you.
I want to ask you this question.
If one of your young ladies inyour church came up to you and
said, I made a mistake, I smokedpot with my friends, and I've
been trying to quit, but I had arelapse.
What if she did that and youranswer was something along the
(32:07):
lines of, What were youthinking?
Like, how could you do that?
Are you stupid?
When are you gonna grow up?
When are you gonna change?
Why would you make a mistakeagain after knowing all these
things?
If you just sit there andbelittle and ridicule and hurt.
What if that same young ladythat went came up to you and
(32:30):
said that and I belittled themand I said any amount or or any
of those things I justmentioned, and that same young
lady was ridiculed for somethingsmall like this, and I call it
small in the grand scheme ofthings, why would she approach
you or your wife or someonewithin the church leadership if
she later got pregnant out ofwedlock?
(32:51):
I ask that because these thingsare serious and they're
happening.
You need to have a viewpointthat is not so boxed in that
when people who are human commitsin that is transgression
against God's word, that youlook at them less than human.
(33:14):
They are human just like you arehuman.
I have told our young peoplemany, many a time that if you
ever do anything that is amistake, if you ever do anything
that hurts you or someone else,if you ever do anything that you
don't feel like you'recomfortable to talk to anyone
else about, I want you to knowthat I'm here for you, that I
(33:36):
love you, that I care about you,and that I will not, I've told
them this many times, I will notbelittle you.
You need to have such an opendoor and such a love in your
heart that when a young personconfides in you about a huge
mistake that they made, theyknow they are confiding in
someone who is not there tobelittle, who is not there to
(33:57):
hurt, who is not there to yell,but they are confiding in
someone, confiding in someonewho can help.
Be careful with what you believeis helping, it could actually be
hurting.
Be careful with what you believeis helping, it could actually be
hurting.
Open door of communication opendoor of communication.
(34:23):
You've got to have socialawareness, understand their
language, understand socialmedia, understand that the music
that they listen to today isgoing to be different than what
you listened to back in the 60s,and it's probably going to be
more doctrinally correct thanwhat you listened to in the 60s
too.
I said it.
Ask me about it later if youneed to.
(34:46):
And most importantly, you've gotto have an open door of
communication.
Not a one-way street, not justyou preaching, not just you
yelling, not just you teaching,but you listening.
One of the key aspects incoaching is having an open ear
to listen.
Because you could have adifferent understanding after
(35:09):
you listen.
But even more important thanthat, those young people that
you're pastoring are talking andnobody else is listening.
Those young people that you'repastoring are saying stuff that
no one else is hearing.
You need to be that listeningear.
(35:31):
You need to be those open arms.
You need to be that individualthat helps instead of hurts.
They are not the future church,they are the church.
And as their minister, pastor,leader, it is your job to help.
I want to thank everybody who umis listening to this episode.
(35:53):
I pray that it helped you insome way, form, or fashion.
Please, if you have anyquestions, the comment box is
right there.
You can leave a comment onYouTube, Twitch.
I know we're on um Facebook onour podcast and Facebook on HMA.
So please, please, please leaveus a comment in there or
question or message us directly.
Of course, if you're listeningto this um over Buzz Sprout or
(36:14):
over Apple or any other podcastplatform, you can find us on the
social media platform of yourchurch by choice by searching at
podcast the number four him.
That's at podcast the numberfour him.
And if you're watching thisvideo and you want to know how
to find our audio version, youcan search us at the everyday
Christian Podcast.
(36:34):
It's up there on the screen.
The Every and Day are twoseparate words.
Don't put them together oryou're not going to be able to
find us.
The Everyday Christian Podcast.
Two separate words there.
You will be able to find us onthe podcast platform of your
choice.
I wanted to again say God bless.
Thank you all for listening in.
We will be back.
Hopefully, we plan on nextTuesday to do a really
(36:55):
controversial episode and lessonthere.
Please join us there as well.
And God bless you, and you allhave a good night.
Popular Podcasts
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
The Brothers Ortiz
The Brothers Ortiz is the story of two brothers–both successful, but in very different ways. Gabe Ortiz becomes a third-highest ranking officer in all of Texas while his younger brother Larry climbs the ranks in Puro Tango Blast, a notorious Texas Prison gang. Gabe doesn’t know all the details of his brother’s nefarious dealings, and he’s made a point not to ask, to protect their relationship. But when Larry is murdered during a home invasion in a rented beach house, Gabe has no choice but to look into what happened that night. To solve Larry’s murder, Gabe, and the whole Ortiz family, must ask each other tough questions.