February 18, 2025 • 21 mins
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Ever wondered if love is more than just a fleeting feeling? Join us as we explore the profound essence of love and challenge its often distorted portrayal in popular culture. Through heartwarming anecdotes and the innocent wisdom of children, we unveil how love is not just a sentiment but a deep commitment involving self-sacrifice and prioritizing others. Discover the art of modeling genuine love for our children, emphasizing that true love thrives on mutual giving and unwavering support.
This episode covers:
• Redefining love beyond feelings and societal portrayals
• Children’s innocent definitions of love highlight key values
• Love as a commitment and daily choice rather than a fleeting emotion
• Examples of successful marriage strategies based on acts of kindness
• Practical suggestions for teaching kids about sacrificial love
• The importance of leading by example in demonstrating love
• Explanation of a guided journal for children focused on love actions
Love is about choosing to serve others; embracing actionable love brings us closer to joy and fulfillment in our relationships.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey parent friends, do you ever wonder if love is
overrated?
Think about how it's portrayedon social media, in movies and
in the music that we listen to.
Whew, our culture has someissues right.
They demonstrate love in waysthat are contributing to broken
marriages and contributing tosexually violent relationships
(00:24):
and selfish relationships thatlend themselves to sex and porn
addictions and, ultimately, afeeling of emptiness and
unhappiness.
So I think it makes sense thatwe get desensitized to the word
love or become kind ofdisenchanted with the word,
because it's just so overusedand definitely misrepresented.
(00:47):
So what's love got to do withit?
Now, I could go into that song,but I'm going to spare you my
voice there.
I'm not the singer and themusical one in my family.
As parents, we want our kids toknow how to love, to love us, to
love their siblings, of course,to love their friends and then
(01:11):
to love a future spouse.
And the way they learn how tolove is through us.
So first I just want to sharesome of the fun ways that kids
define love.
So I found these ondailygoodorg.
They asked the question whatdoes love mean to four through
(01:32):
eight year olds?
And here are their responses.
Tommy, who's six, says love islike a little old woman and a
little old man who are stillfriends even after they know
each other so well, so cute.
Elaine, who's five, says loveis when mommy gives daddy the
best piece of chicken.
Here's another one.
(01:52):
When my grandmother gotarthritis, she couldn't bend
over and paint her toenailsanymore.
So my grandfather does it forher all the time, even when his
hands got arthritis too.
That's love.
Another one love is what's inthe room with you at Christmas,
if you stop opening presents andlisten.
(02:14):
Bobby said that.
Wow, if you want to learn tolove better, you should start
with a friend who you hate.
That was Nika, age six.
Whoa, are you kidding me?
We need a few more Nikas onthis planet.
She's so right.
And Karen, who's seven, sayswhen you love somebody, your
(02:35):
eyelashes go up and down andlittle stars come out of you.
What an image.
It's so sweet.
Love is when mommy sees daddyon the toilet and she doesn't
think it's gross.
Oh, mark, that's classic.
He's six.
Jessica says you reallyshouldn't say I love you unless
you mean it, but if you mean it,you should say it a lot because
(02:56):
people forget.
Here's my favorite one.
So there's an author andlecturer.
His name is Leo Buscaglia andhe talked about a contest that
he was asked to judge and thepurpose of the contest was to
find the most caring and lovingchild.
And the winner was a littlefour-year-old boy whose
next-door neighbor was anelderly gentleman whose wife had
(03:19):
recently died and he noticedthe man crying on his back patio
died.
And he noticed the man cryingon his back patio and the little
boy went into the oldgentleman's yard and climbed up
onto his lap and just sat thereand his mother was watching.
And his mother asked him whenhe came back across the yard and
she said what did you say tothe neighbor?
(03:39):
And the little boy said nothing.
I just helped him cry.
Wow, that four-year-old gets it.
He put his own needs aside tosimply be with his neighbor who
is grieving.
So let's take a deeper dive.
What is love truly?
(04:06):
If we go by the dictionarydefinition, it's a profoundly
tender, passionate affection foranother person, a feeling of
warm personal attachment or deepaffection.
As for a child, parent orfriend.
As a counselor for over 20years working with couples, I
can't tell you how many timesI've asked a married couple do
you love each other?
And here's their response therejust isn't that spark anymore.
(04:29):
The feelings are gone.
Marital commitment is more thanjust sparks.
Friends.
If our love is only based on afeeling, we'll be very
disappointed, and so will ourkids.
So love is not a feeling.
No love, true love, is thedaily act of dying to oneself.
(04:50):
It's dying to and letting go ofwhat we want for the sake of
the other person.
You and I both know love is notthat comfortable, fuzzy feeling
.
You see on the cheesy Hallmarkmovies I mean no offense, I've
watched a couple myself but theyjust go a little over the top.
(05:11):
Like life isn't really likethat.
Love is sacrifice.
Love is actually about becominguncomfortable for the sake of
another's comfortability.
Love is choosing the otherperson's wants above your own.
All within reason, of course.
But stick with me here, becausethis might be making the hair
(05:32):
on the back of your neck standup, and I get that this is
difficult to hear.
But if love means putting asideour own wants and desires in
order to serve someone else, itcould feel like constantly
pouring out into others.
Right, giving your spouse toyour kids, your co-workers and
(05:55):
you're right.
But what if your spouse, yourkids and your co-workers were
pouring into you every day too,and your co-workers were pouring
into you every day too, puttingtheir own passions and desires
aside in order to do somethingfor you.
You see where I'm coming from.
Cultivating a spirit of givingin your home, where everyone is
(06:18):
trying to serve another person,is the exact mindset that
communicates true love.
A friend of mine recently sharedwith me how he and his wife
went to a counselor because theyjust couldn't agree on anything
and they felt like they werealways at odds with each other,
(06:38):
and they had noticed that afterfive kids, they had just
realized they had very little incommon.
And the counselor gave them oneassignment.
She said you know what?
I want you to go home today anddon't say a word to each other
for two weeks.
The only reason you can usewords with each other is if you
need to communicate about yourkids some transactional type of
(07:01):
conversation.
If it's about the kids, goahead, but otherwise, no talking
.
Instead, I want you to do onething every day for the other
person that they would like, andit can't cost any money, and
then, when you come back in twoweeks, we'll reevaluate how
you're doing, but don't breakthe rules.
(07:22):
Whew, that sounds hard, guys.
They took her advice and a fewdays in, they noticed a softness
that had come over them.
When they looked at each other,they began to laugh in the
presence of each other and thenthey felt that distance between
(07:43):
them, that gap, start to shrink.
Well, why is that?
Love isn't words, it isn't afeeling.
Love is a choice and it'ssacrifice.
It means putting the needs ofsomeone else above your own,
(08:05):
maybe for two minutes, maybe forthree hours, and maybe at times
it's for an entire weekend.
But think about it.
When was a time you rememberfeeling loved by someone?
I want you to reflect here whatwas happening there.
Did someone stop on their wayhome from work and pick up
(08:27):
dinner for you and then drop itoff because they knew you were
sick and your family needed toeat?
That's sacrifice.
Maybe your spouse rearrangedtheir schedule so they could
have coffee with you everyWednesday morning.
Maybe your spouse prioritizedintimacy even when they were
tired or busy.
(08:48):
So what was it for you?
It's rarely the dozen roses ortheir ring or the social media
post about how amazing andwonderful you are.
Instead, it's someone doingsomething specifically for you,
without themselves in mind,without themselves in mind.
(09:10):
That's why we say it's dying toself.
It's sacrifice.
Acts of love mean pouring intosomeone else, meeting them where
they are doing something theylike, regardless of whether
that's your thing.
A guy recently told me.
He said I don't get it.
(09:30):
My wife is always disappointedbecause I don't compliment her
when she wears a new dress orshe comes home from the salon
and has just had her hair done.
I just don't notice thesethings and I'm not big on
compliments.
I don't need peoplecomplimenting me to know that
I'm loved.
And I just stopped him rightthere and I said man, your wife
(09:50):
is giving you the blueprint.
She's giving you the answer howshe feels loved.
Do whatever it takes to noticeher in her new dress, to
compliment her hair when she hasa hair appointment, whether it
takes a reminder in your phoneor whatever like this will be a
deposit in her love bank.
(10:11):
She's giving you the answer.
It'll mean even more to her ifyou compliment her because she
knows you, she knows this isn'tyour thing.
It's completely about her.
It's a sacrifice and somethingyou have to work at.
So that counts.
That's love.
(10:32):
You guys, all of us want ourkids to be great spouses and
parents.
So, practically speaking, howcan we condition our kids to
love in this way To have andknow sacrificial love.
Love in this way To have andknow sacrificial love.
The best way is by fostering aspirit of giving right in our
own homes, right underneath ourown roof.
(10:53):
So let's do.
Let's just get practical aboutthis.
You know I love practical waysof implementing behaviors that
lead to healthy habits.
We've all done these in ourhome, my family.
So Team Langdon has been onboard for every single
suggestion I'm giving you rightnow.
Otherwise I wouldn't say it.
Draw names, don't wait forChristmas time.
(11:15):
Draw names in your family anddo what that counselor suggested
Do one thing for your personevery day that doesn't cost
money and it's somethingspecific to that person.
Put up a little checklist onthe wall, a little spreadsheet
that has everybody's names andjust the days of the week, and
then track it.
Put your little checkbox inthere once you've done something
(11:38):
for your secret buddy.
This gets everyone in the habitof thinking outside of
themselves every single day.
It's super fun, it's a goodsurprise.
It's super fun, it's a goodsurprise.
It's good to give and it feelsgood to receive.
Another idea it's Valentine'smonth.
Get the construction paper out,or even some printer paper.
Cut out a couple hearts andthen give somebody in your home
(12:03):
what we call a heart attack.
Okay, on each heart paper heartwrite a compliment that is
specific to the person and thenput it on that heart and tape it
to their bedroom door and thenadd more every day.
So over the course of the month, the 30 days, whatever they see
(12:24):
, more and more specificcompliments on their door.
It's so generous, it's abeautiful act of love.
Here's another idea Schedule 15minutes a day for one-on-one
time with each child.
We do this at our house.
Lincoln loves to ride thehoverboard, so I'll go watch him
do his little hoverboardobstacle course in our
(12:48):
unfinished basement.
Okay, he loves it.
He loves to show me what he'sset up and done and so I spend
that time with him.
Our oldest son, parker.
He has his favorite shows, sowe'll watch his show together
and then visit about it.
And that's not every day.
I don't have 30 or an hour, 30minutes or an hour every single
(13:09):
night, but that's something thatI can do with him, that is
something he enjoys, whether Ilike it or not.
And then with my daughter we'llhave special time after her
gymnastics and it's just she andI, so we may paint our toenails
or do something where we cancommunicate and have one-on-one
time together.
Here's another one Makeintentional time for your spouse
(13:34):
.
You know what they like.
Maybe it's quality time, anhour of coffee every Wednesday
to talk, instead of do what youwould normally do during that
hour on Wednesday.
Intimacy what about intimacy?
We had a member in our parentcommunity who took time out to
(13:56):
write me a personal message andsay Jordan, give everybody this
advice.
She said, the best thing myhusband and I ever did that
improved our marriage.
We had young kids three youngkids, she said, is we decided to
schedule intimacy.
They put it on their calendar,in code of course, so that their
kids didn't know what thatmeant, but they planned for it.
(14:17):
She said, man, knowing when itwas going to happen really
helped me get in the frame ofmind to be fully present.
We like get in the frame ofmind to be fully present.
And then, after months of beingconsistent with this, she
noticed that it led to morespontaneous intimacy.
What an act of love committingto an active connection and
(14:39):
union with your spouse andfollowing through without
excuses, without saying oh, I'mso tired, though no, it's saying
you know what.
This is important to us.
We schedule this and yes, I'mtired, or yes, I'm busy, or yes,
I'm distracted, but this is anact of love.
(15:01):
This is something thatcommunicates love within our
relationship.
Here's another idea, guys, ifyou commit to do something
helpful for your spouse, do it.
Don't be that person that'slike you know what, babe, I'm
going to start?
You know getting up everymorning and cleaning up the
kitchen for you, so that's notan issue for you, and then never
(15:24):
clean up the kitchen.
Like that's a tease, right?
I don't want to say like, don'tsay it at all and don't commit,
but choose your words.
Be reasonable when you offerhelp, making sure you're able to
follow through with it and thatit's something that's helpful.
Which brings me to the next one.
(15:45):
Man, this is a slam dunk.
Just ask how you can help.
Ask your spouse, ask your kids.
They'll give you an open laneto make a slam dunk.
Don't argue with them when theytell you what would be helpful.
You got to trust that they knowthemselves and then try to
fulfill their request andfinally, let your kids see you
(16:09):
love on others.
When you know your neighbor'ssick, go, take them a basket of
tea with some natural honey,some homemade soup, or ask to
bring dinner for their familyand bring your kids along with
you.
You don't even need to tellthem this is an act of
generosity.
(16:29):
We're trying to love on ourneighbor.
No, just go do the thing andbring your kid with you.
When they get used toaccompanying you when you're
doing things for others, theywant to do it too.
It's a domino effect and it'sbeautiful because we are our
best when we are serving others.
(16:51):
When we are making acts ofsacrificial love towards others,
we are the best version ofourselves, absolutely 100%.
So, parents, listen.
Your kid might not be numberone in their class or drive the
most fancy car or whatever, butlisten.
(17:14):
If they're conditioned to love,to truly serve others, they're
gonna be successful in whateverthey do.
Because life is aboutrelationships.
Everything we do includes arelationship, and if your kids
are equipped to see a need andthen fill that need and do this
(17:35):
on autopilot, they're going tobe full of joy.
Loving is serving and servingis fulfilling, and when we feel
fulfilled, we're able to accessthat deep joy.
And deep joy means this for youjoy and deep joy means this for
you Less temper tantrums, lessfighting with their siblings.
(17:57):
More pitching in around thehouse, more family unity, this
team feeling, this cohesive teamfeeling in your family Isn't
that what you want, you guys?
I am thrilled, I'm super excitedto give you a sneak peek at our
(18:18):
newest product that's launchinghere soon.
We've got this awesome guidedjournal for kids coming out and
you got to see it.
It's titled the Best Me I canbe and this journal is all about
learning how to love,developing a giving mindset.
(18:39):
After testing this journal withmany, many families, the moms
have come back and said like,wow, I am so blown away, like,
all of a sudden, my daughterwill just say, mom, I need to
interrupt you from doing thedishes.
And mom's like, okay, for what?
Because I just want to tell youthat I love you, I just want to
(19:01):
give you a hug, just becauseand they're saying, man, there's
less fighting, more pitching in.
I mean, my kids are just seeingwhen something needs to be done
and then doing it without beingasked.
That's right, because we builtin little secret missions for
the kids to do an act ofgenerosity, to put on that
(19:22):
giving mindset and go out intotheir family, into the home, and
find ways they can be helpers,happy little helpers.
So we're super excited to sharethis with you.
If you receive our weekly emailson Tuesday, you're going to be
the first to know when we launch.
And if you're not getting thoseyet, be sure you go to our
(19:43):
website familiesofcharactercomand hit that subscribe button up
top to get put on our emaillist.
These will be awesome birthdaygifts for your kids to give to
their friends, and even forgrandparents to buy grandkids.
And then, best yet, just agreat gift to your own child to
(20:04):
get them in the habit of lovingand serving those closest to
them their family, to them,their family.
All the links to these are inthe show notes for today's
episode.
Give yourself and your familythe gift of true love by
starting something new today,one little act of giving every
(20:30):
single day.
Jordan Langdon, signing off.
I'm going to catch you nextepisode and remember I'm always
in your corner.
Hey parent friends, do you ever wonder if love is
overrated?
Think about how it's portrayedon social media, in movies and
in the music that we listen to.
Whew, our culture has someissues right.
They demonstrate love in waysthat are contributing to broken
marriages and contributing tosexually violent relationships
(00:24):
and selfish relationships thatlend themselves to sex and porn
addictions and, ultimately, afeeling of emptiness and
unhappiness.
So I think it makes sense thatwe get desensitized to the word
love or become kind ofdisenchanted with the word,
because it's just so overusedand definitely misrepresented.
(00:47):
So what's love got to do withit?
Now, I could go into that song,but I'm going to spare you my
voice there.
I'm not the singer and themusical one in my family.
As parents, we want our kids toknow how to love, to love us, to
love their siblings, of course,to love their friends and then
(01:11):
to love a future spouse.
And the way they learn how tolove is through us.
So first I just want to sharesome of the fun ways that kids
define love.
So I found these ondailygoodorg.
They asked the question whatdoes love mean to four through
(01:32):
eight year olds?
And here are their responses.
Tommy, who's six, says love islike a little old woman and a
little old man who are stillfriends even after they know
each other so well, so cute.
Elaine, who's five, says loveis when mommy gives daddy the
best piece of chicken.
Here's another one.
(01:52):
When my grandmother gotarthritis, she couldn't bend
over and paint her toenailsanymore.
So my grandfather does it forher all the time, even when his
hands got arthritis too.
That's love.
Another one love is what's inthe room with you at Christmas,
if you stop opening presents andlisten.
(02:14):
Bobby said that.
Wow, if you want to learn tolove better, you should start
with a friend who you hate.
That was Nika, age six.
Whoa, are you kidding me?
We need a few more Nikas onthis planet.
She's so right.
And Karen, who's seven, sayswhen you love somebody, your
(02:35):
eyelashes go up and down andlittle stars come out of you.
What an image.
It's so sweet.
Love is when mommy sees daddyon the toilet and she doesn't
think it's gross.
Oh, mark, that's classic.
He's six.
Jessica says you reallyshouldn't say I love you unless
you mean it, but if you mean it,you should say it a lot because
(02:56):
people forget.
Here's my favorite one.
So there's an author andlecturer.
His name is Leo Buscaglia andhe talked about a contest that
he was asked to judge and thepurpose of the contest was to
find the most caring and lovingchild.
And the winner was a littlefour-year-old boy whose
next-door neighbor was anelderly gentleman whose wife had
(03:19):
recently died and he noticedthe man crying on his back patio
died.
And he noticed the man cryingon his back patio and the little
boy went into the oldgentleman's yard and climbed up
onto his lap and just sat thereand his mother was watching.
And his mother asked him whenhe came back across the yard and
she said what did you say tothe neighbor?
(03:39):
And the little boy said nothing.
I just helped him cry.
Wow, that four-year-old gets it.
He put his own needs aside tosimply be with his neighbor who
is grieving.
So let's take a deeper dive.
What is love truly?
(04:06):
If we go by the dictionarydefinition, it's a profoundly
tender, passionate affection foranother person, a feeling of
warm personal attachment or deepaffection.
As for a child, parent orfriend.
As a counselor for over 20years working with couples, I
can't tell you how many timesI've asked a married couple do
you love each other?
And here's their response therejust isn't that spark anymore.
(04:29):
The feelings are gone.
Marital commitment is more thanjust sparks.
Friends.
If our love is only based on afeeling, we'll be very
disappointed, and so will ourkids.
So love is not a feeling.
No love, true love, is thedaily act of dying to oneself.
(04:50):
It's dying to and letting go ofwhat we want for the sake of
the other person.
You and I both know love is notthat comfortable, fuzzy feeling
.
You see on the cheesy Hallmarkmovies I mean no offense, I've
watched a couple myself but theyjust go a little over the top.
(05:11):
Like life isn't really likethat.
Love is sacrifice.
Love is actually about becominguncomfortable for the sake of
another's comfortability.
Love is choosing the otherperson's wants above your own.
All within reason, of course.
But stick with me here, becausethis might be making the hair
(05:32):
on the back of your neck standup, and I get that this is
difficult to hear.
But if love means putting asideour own wants and desires in
order to serve someone else, itcould feel like constantly
pouring out into others.
Right, giving your spouse toyour kids, your co-workers and
(05:55):
you're right.
But what if your spouse, yourkids and your co-workers were
pouring into you every day too,and your co-workers were pouring
into you every day too, puttingtheir own passions and desires
aside in order to do somethingfor you.
You see where I'm coming from.
Cultivating a spirit of givingin your home, where everyone is
(06:18):
trying to serve another person,is the exact mindset that
communicates true love.
A friend of mine recently sharedwith me how he and his wife
went to a counselor because theyjust couldn't agree on anything
and they felt like they werealways at odds with each other,
(06:38):
and they had noticed that afterfive kids, they had just
realized they had very little incommon.
And the counselor gave them oneassignment.
She said you know what?
I want you to go home today anddon't say a word to each other
for two weeks.
The only reason you can usewords with each other is if you
need to communicate about yourkids some transactional type of
(07:01):
conversation.
If it's about the kids, goahead, but otherwise, no talking
.
Instead, I want you to do onething every day for the other
person that they would like, andit can't cost any money, and
then, when you come back in twoweeks, we'll reevaluate how
you're doing, but don't breakthe rules.
(07:22):
Whew, that sounds hard, guys.
They took her advice and a fewdays in, they noticed a softness
that had come over them.
When they looked at each other,they began to laugh in the
presence of each other and thenthey felt that distance between
(07:43):
them, that gap, start to shrink.
Well, why is that?
Love isn't words, it isn't afeeling.
Love is a choice and it'ssacrifice.
It means putting the needs ofsomeone else above your own,
(08:05):
maybe for two minutes, maybe forthree hours, and maybe at times
it's for an entire weekend.
But think about it.
When was a time you rememberfeeling loved by someone?
I want you to reflect here whatwas happening there.
Did someone stop on their wayhome from work and pick up
(08:27):
dinner for you and then drop itoff because they knew you were
sick and your family needed toeat?
That's sacrifice.
Maybe your spouse rearrangedtheir schedule so they could
have coffee with you everyWednesday morning.
Maybe your spouse prioritizedintimacy even when they were
tired or busy.
(08:48):
So what was it for you?
It's rarely the dozen roses ortheir ring or the social media
post about how amazing andwonderful you are.
Instead, it's someone doingsomething specifically for you,
without themselves in mind,without themselves in mind.
(09:10):
That's why we say it's dying toself.
It's sacrifice.
Acts of love mean pouring intosomeone else, meeting them where
they are doing something theylike, regardless of whether
that's your thing.
A guy recently told me.
He said I don't get it.
(09:30):
My wife is always disappointedbecause I don't compliment her
when she wears a new dress orshe comes home from the salon
and has just had her hair done.
I just don't notice thesethings and I'm not big on
compliments.
I don't need peoplecomplimenting me to know that
I'm loved.
And I just stopped him rightthere and I said man, your wife
(09:50):
is giving you the blueprint.
She's giving you the answer howshe feels loved.
Do whatever it takes to noticeher in her new dress, to
compliment her hair when she hasa hair appointment, whether it
takes a reminder in your phoneor whatever like this will be a
deposit in her love bank.
(10:11):
She's giving you the answer.
It'll mean even more to her ifyou compliment her because she
knows you, she knows this isn'tyour thing.
It's completely about her.
It's a sacrifice and somethingyou have to work at.
So that counts.
That's love.
(10:32):
You guys, all of us want ourkids to be great spouses and
parents.
So, practically speaking, howcan we condition our kids to
love in this way To have andknow sacrificial love.
Love in this way To have andknow sacrificial love.
The best way is by fostering aspirit of giving right in our
own homes, right underneath ourown roof.
(10:53):
So let's do.
Let's just get practical aboutthis.
You know I love practical waysof implementing behaviors that
lead to healthy habits.
We've all done these in ourhome, my family.
So Team Langdon has been onboard for every single
suggestion I'm giving you rightnow.
Otherwise I wouldn't say it.
Draw names, don't wait forChristmas time.
(11:15):
Draw names in your family anddo what that counselor suggested
Do one thing for your personevery day that doesn't cost
money and it's somethingspecific to that person.
Put up a little checklist onthe wall, a little spreadsheet
that has everybody's names andjust the days of the week, and
then track it.
Put your little checkbox inthere once you've done something
(11:38):
for your secret buddy.
This gets everyone in the habitof thinking outside of
themselves every single day.
It's super fun, it's a goodsurprise.
It's super fun, it's a goodsurprise.
It's good to give and it feelsgood to receive.
Another idea it's Valentine'smonth.
Get the construction paper out,or even some printer paper.
Cut out a couple hearts andthen give somebody in your home
(12:03):
what we call a heart attack.
Okay, on each heart paper heartwrite a compliment that is
specific to the person and thenput it on that heart and tape it
to their bedroom door and thenadd more every day.
So over the course of the month, the 30 days, whatever they see
(12:24):
, more and more specificcompliments on their door.
It's so generous, it's abeautiful act of love.
Here's another idea Schedule 15minutes a day for one-on-one
time with each child.
We do this at our house.
Lincoln loves to ride thehoverboard, so I'll go watch him
do his little hoverboardobstacle course in our
(12:48):
unfinished basement.
Okay, he loves it.
He loves to show me what he'sset up and done and so I spend
that time with him.
Our oldest son, parker.
He has his favorite shows, sowe'll watch his show together
and then visit about it.
And that's not every day.
I don't have 30 or an hour, 30minutes or an hour every single
(13:09):
night, but that's something thatI can do with him, that is
something he enjoys, whether Ilike it or not.
And then with my daughter we'llhave special time after her
gymnastics and it's just she andI, so we may paint our toenails
or do something where we cancommunicate and have one-on-one
time together.
Here's another one Makeintentional time for your spouse
(13:34):
.
You know what they like.
Maybe it's quality time, anhour of coffee every Wednesday
to talk, instead of do what youwould normally do during that
hour on Wednesday.
Intimacy what about intimacy?
We had a member in our parentcommunity who took time out to
(13:56):
write me a personal message andsay Jordan, give everybody this
advice.
She said, the best thing myhusband and I ever did that
improved our marriage.
We had young kids three youngkids, she said, is we decided to
schedule intimacy.
They put it on their calendar,in code of course, so that their
kids didn't know what thatmeant, but they planned for it.
(14:17):
She said, man, knowing when itwas going to happen really
helped me get in the frame ofmind to be fully present.
We like get in the frame ofmind to be fully present.
And then, after months of beingconsistent with this, she
noticed that it led to morespontaneous intimacy.
What an act of love committingto an active connection and
(14:39):
union with your spouse andfollowing through without
excuses, without saying oh, I'mso tired, though no, it's saying
you know what.
This is important to us.
We schedule this and yes, I'mtired, or yes, I'm busy, or yes,
I'm distracted, but this is anact of love.
(15:01):
This is something thatcommunicates love within our
relationship.
Here's another idea, guys, ifyou commit to do something
helpful for your spouse, do it.
Don't be that person that'slike you know what, babe, I'm
going to start?
You know getting up everymorning and cleaning up the
kitchen for you, so that's notan issue for you, and then never
(15:24):
clean up the kitchen.
Like that's a tease, right?
I don't want to say like, don'tsay it at all and don't commit,
but choose your words.
Be reasonable when you offerhelp, making sure you're able to
follow through with it and thatit's something that's helpful.
Which brings me to the next one.
(15:45):
Man, this is a slam dunk.
Just ask how you can help.
Ask your spouse, ask your kids.
They'll give you an open laneto make a slam dunk.
Don't argue with them when theytell you what would be helpful.
You got to trust that they knowthemselves and then try to
fulfill their request andfinally, let your kids see you
(16:09):
love on others.
When you know your neighbor'ssick, go, take them a basket of
tea with some natural honey,some homemade soup, or ask to
bring dinner for their familyand bring your kids along with
you.
You don't even need to tellthem this is an act of
generosity.
(16:29):
We're trying to love on ourneighbor.
No, just go do the thing andbring your kid with you.
When they get used toaccompanying you when you're
doing things for others, theywant to do it too.
It's a domino effect and it'sbeautiful because we are our
best when we are serving others.
(16:51):
When we are making acts ofsacrificial love towards others,
we are the best version ofourselves, absolutely 100%.
So, parents, listen.
Your kid might not be numberone in their class or drive the
most fancy car or whatever, butlisten.
(17:14):
If they're conditioned to love,to truly serve others, they're
gonna be successful in whateverthey do.
Because life is aboutrelationships.
Everything we do includes arelationship, and if your kids
are equipped to see a need andthen fill that need and do this
(17:35):
on autopilot, they're going tobe full of joy.
Loving is serving and servingis fulfilling, and when we feel
fulfilled, we're able to accessthat deep joy.
And deep joy means this for youjoy and deep joy means this for
you Less temper tantrums, lessfighting with their siblings.
(17:57):
More pitching in around thehouse, more family unity, this
team feeling, this cohesive teamfeeling in your family Isn't
that what you want, you guys?
I am thrilled, I'm super excitedto give you a sneak peek at our
(18:18):
newest product that's launchinghere soon.
We've got this awesome guidedjournal for kids coming out and
you got to see it.
It's titled the Best Me I canbe and this journal is all about
learning how to love,developing a giving mindset.
(18:39):
After testing this journal withmany, many families, the moms
have come back and said like,wow, I am so blown away, like,
all of a sudden, my daughterwill just say, mom, I need to
interrupt you from doing thedishes.
And mom's like, okay, for what?
Because I just want to tell youthat I love you, I just want to
(19:01):
give you a hug, just becauseand they're saying, man, there's
less fighting, more pitching in.
I mean, my kids are just seeingwhen something needs to be done
and then doing it without beingasked.
That's right, because we builtin little secret missions for
the kids to do an act ofgenerosity, to put on that
(19:22):
giving mindset and go out intotheir family, into the home, and
find ways they can be helpers,happy little helpers.
So we're super excited to sharethis with you.
If you receive our weekly emailson Tuesday, you're going to be
the first to know when we launch.
And if you're not getting thoseyet, be sure you go to our
(19:43):
website familiesofcharactercomand hit that subscribe button up
top to get put on our emaillist.
These will be awesome birthdaygifts for your kids to give to
their friends, and even forgrandparents to buy grandkids.
And then, best yet, just agreat gift to your own child to
(20:04):
get them in the habit of lovingand serving those closest to
them their family, to them,their family.
All the links to these are inthe show notes for today's
episode.
Give yourself and your familythe gift of true love by
starting something new today,one little act of giving every
(20:30):
single day.
Jordan Langdon, signing off.
I'm going to catch you nextepisode and remember I'm always
in your corner.
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