March 11, 2025 • 33 mins
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The busyness of family life can often overshadow what truly matters—our relationships with our spouse, our children, and our faith. In our latest podcast episode, we unveil a simple yet transformative practice that has the potential to rejuvenate your marriage and create a serene environment for your family. By dedicating just 15 minutes each morning to nurturing your spiritual life, you can spark meaningful shifts in how you interact and bond with your loved ones.
The podcast covers:
• Importance of faith in family and culture
• Personal testimony on making time for spirituality
• Benefits of morning devotionals
• Practical tips for busy parents to incorporate faith
• The impact of faith on family dynamics
• Encouragement to take small steps and connect with the community
Take a moment to share this episode with someone who needs encouragement in their family life today!
The Thriving Family Accelerator provides an easy, 3-step process to lower stress, parent as a united team, and enjoy a true friendship with your spouse & relationship with your kids. Sign up now for this live parent coaching with proven methods for positively engaging your family and redistributing the mental load.
Give $20 to keep the mic on. We're a 501 c(3) non-profit and produce this show for parents around the globe.
Discover the secrets to building a connected + thriving family. All you'll need is a few minutes of your week—it's easy!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey there, welcome back to the podcast, or I guess
I should say for newbies,welcome to the podcast.
We have had so many newlisteners over the past 30 days.
We've actually had 400 moredownloads on our podcast over
(00:20):
the past 30 days than we have inprevious months.
So thank you for tuning in.
Thank you from the bottom of myheart for sharing our podcast
with people in your circles.
This is so wonderful.
You're helping us to reallyspread the message to parents
(00:40):
and grandparents about how toreally strengthen your marriage
and unify your family.
This is such an important thingin society, right?
The family is the backbone ofour culture and if the family
unit is breaking down, so is ourculture.
(01:02):
So our mission here at Familiesof Character is really to save
kids from the pain of divorceand to help married couples who
are raising kids to strengthentheir marriage relationship,
reorder the priorities in theirlives, because oftentimes we put
kids before our spouse, beforeour faith life, and everything
(01:25):
just sort of gets flipped on itshead.
So we really want to help youto reprioritize and be
intentional about your faith,your married life and raising
your kids in that order.
So thank you for sharing ourmessage far and wide in the ways
(01:47):
that you do by texting it topeople, forwarding on our
Tuesday morning emails thatinclude the link to our podcast.
You are doing all the thingsand it's making a huge
difference for the families ofcharacter, community and people
throughout the world.
We have people listening inlike seven different countries.
I think we're up to like 40 outof the 50 states, so this is
(02:12):
really exciting and it's becauseof you.
So thank you and know that youhave a big place in our hearts
here at Families of Characterfor just helping us to get the
message out.
Listen, I am so glad you'rehere today, okay, especially
because this episode I'm aboutto share with you is very near
and dear to my heart, and youknow, if you've been listening
(02:35):
for a long time or even for afew episodes, that I'm all about
sharing my own personaltestimony.
It's all about being vulnerableand authentic and just showing
you what's going on inside thehouse over here at Team Langdon
in Denver, colorado, okay, so Iwant to share with you a little
(02:56):
bit today about something thathas radically changed the way I
approach both my marriage and myfamily life, and that is
prioritizing my faith.
Now you're going to be like oh,jordan, I got to hang up right
now.
I don't have time for that.
Like, what are you talkingabout?
I'm raising kids.
(03:16):
I'm doing, you know, diapers,dinner dishes.
I ain't got time to add.
One more thing Tune in, do notpress pause or stop on this
episode.
It's going to be much easierthan you expect and the benefits
are going to ripple out foryears.
So tune in here.
Okay, I'm going to admit rightoff the bat, it was not always
(03:40):
easy for me to make time for myspiritual life, and maybe
there's some, some guilt or evensome shame around that.
But I'll just be real.
When my kids were young, Iremember back then feeling like
I was already stretched thin andbarely getting enough sleep.
You know, when you've gottoddlers like one year oldold, a
(04:03):
four-year-old and then aneight-year-old or nine-year-old
Like you're running at all timesof the day and night, you're
feeling like two ships passingthe night with your spouse.
It's hard, right, and at thattime in my life I remember the
thought of waking up even 15minutes earlier than I was
(04:24):
already getting up, or 15minutes, you know, before my
kids woke up felt like animpossible task.
But I want to share with youhow that small, seemingly
insignificant adjustment in myday ended up filling me up in
ways I didn't even realize Ineeded.
(04:46):
So the early struggle right.
For those of you who are parents, especially if you've got
little ones running around, I'msure that you can relate to this
.
When you're sleep deprived,there's nothing worse than the
idea of setting the alarm clockearlier than necessary.
I myself was constantly insurvival mode, trying to get a
(05:08):
little extra sleep or squeezingin some me time after the kids
went to bed, which usuallydidn't happen either, because
well, life right.
But something shifted for mewhen I realized that I could not
keep pouring from this emptycup of mine.
(05:29):
I needed a source of strengththat wasn't just physical sleep
or even a good workout.
I needed something more,something deeper, something
spiritual.
So what I did was I just took aleap of faith.
Okay, pun intended.
(05:52):
I decided to set my alarm just15 minutes earlier.
I figured I could tryjournaling, or maybe a short
devotional, you know, somethingthat would sort of like center
me on the day ahead.
What I had been doing isgetting up to the cry of my baby
or, you know, rocketing out ofbed because I'd hit the snooze
(06:17):
button, and then the way I wasstarting my day was, by whatever
crisis had come up, you know,in the early hours of the
morning, and so there was zerolike runway for me to have a
decent takeoff to my day,because what I had been doing
(06:37):
was just kind of starting mymorning in a reactive stance,
right Like oh, somebody's crying.
Oh, in a reactive stance, rightLike, oh, somebody's crying.
Oh, somebody needs their diaperchange.
Oh, somebody had a nightmare,oh, you know.
And then I would.
Once you get the ball rolling,you get your coffee and you're
(07:00):
putting out fires, you justnever return back to that.
Okay, so what I did, by settingmy alarm 15 minutes earlier than
I usually get up, is I decidedto take control of my day.
I decided that something small,by doing a devotional, could
actually become my lifeline.
Now, let's be real, I didn'tfeel like right when I started
(07:23):
doing this, that I was fillingup.
The first few days, or evenweeks, of this new habit, it was
more like I had made thecommitment and I decided I was
going to buckle down and do itfor like 30 days, whether it
felt right or not, whether Iliked it or not, or whether you
know, I could feel the benefitright away, liked it or not, or
(07:47):
whether you know I could feelthe benefit right away.
There was a part of me duringthat first, you know, week to
three weeks, that still wantedto hit the snooze button.
But I tell you, as I kept goingI began to notice something.
I began to notice that my soul,you know, deep down inside sort
of that pit of your stomach,felt more at peace and that my
(08:10):
mind was actually more focusedduring my day and my heart was
actually more connected to thisbigger picture of what my life
was all about.
I wasn't just going through themotions anymore and reacting to
my day.
I was starting my day centeredon what really mattered my faith
(08:33):
, my marriage and my family.
And I got to tell you theripple effect it had on my
marriage was unbelievable.
And you know what?
That change in my spiritualroutine didn't just affect me
and my husband and our marriage,it helped our children as well.
(08:54):
When I started making time,carving out that 15 minutes in
the morning, first thing for myfaith, it filled me with a sense
of purpose and clarity thatallowed me to show up better for
my husband, first and foremost,and then for my kids.
(09:14):
You know those days when thestress of the kids, work and
just like life in general makesyou feel like you're just on the
edge.
Well before I'd let thatfrustration out on really the
person closest to me, right, myhusband Josh.
But when I intentionally filledmyself up with you know,
(09:38):
spiritually, first thing in themorning I was able to show up in
my marriage with more patience,understanding and grace and
guess what?
I found myself admitting mywrongs and apologizing more than
I ever had in my marriage.
It was quite the transformationInstead of reacting, I was
(10:01):
responding in a way thatreflected the love and the
kindness that I had just myselfreceived in my devotional time.
So I really want to underscorethat that by starting my day
with a daily devotional and Ipersonally prefer a book called
(10:23):
Jesus Calling.
I personally prefer a bookcalled Jesus Calling.
It's a one page, you know,calendar devotional where,
whatever date it is, you open tothat page and there's a
scripture verse and a sweetlittle message where Jesus is
speaking to you specifically.
And when I started using thatdevotional and really receiving
(11:10):
that love, received myself bytaking that extra time to
everyone else in my family.
I know 15 minutes a day.
You think Jordan really Did ithave that big of an effect?
Yes, I wouldn't do a wholeepisode about it if it hadn't.
So I want to give you somepractical tips.
Right, you know how I'm alwaysbringing the practical tips, for
how do we take this informationand apply it to our lives today
(11:32):
, as busy parents?
First of all, you're probablythinking this is going to be
really hard to make this happen.
You're going to be thinkingabout all the reasons that it's
not going to work for you.
But I'm here to help with that.
Right, when I sign my emails,always in your corner, that's
because I am.
(11:52):
I really am always in yourcorner.
If you believe that thisinformation is not for you, if
you believe that these toolswon't work for you, if you
believe that these habits won'twork for you, well, the hard
truth is they won't.
But if you have that hope, ifyou've been tuning into our
episodes and you're catchingthis vibe that you know what I
(12:14):
can do some small things thatwill make a difference.
And I am willing to sacrifice15 minutes of sleep in the
morning because I believe whatJordan is saying, what she has
done in her own life, has reallymade a difference.
Then I've got the tips for youright here, okay, and let me
just tell you there's no perfectformula.
(12:35):
Nobody's got it perfect, right.
Some days you're going to feellike you're nailing it and other
days you're feeling like I'mbarely holding it together.
But consistency, even in thesmallest ways, is what's going
to make a world of difference.
So it's not about how greatyou're doing it or how poorly
(12:55):
you're doing it.
It's about just doing it.
Doing it when you're tired,doing it when you're angry,
doing it when you are hungry,during.
Doing it when you're, you know,just feeling like, um, oh yeah,
I'm feeling so good, I'd ratherdo something else.
Right, that's also a time to go.
But wait, that 15 minutes, thatfirst 15 minutes of my day,
(13:18):
makes a difference, all right,so let's jump into it.
Few tips to help you getstarted.
Whether you're a mother or afather, you can do these.
Okay, start small.
Doesn't have to be an hour long.
Bible study Does not have to bean hour at the Adoration Chapel
, right, just start with 10 or15 minutes.
I told you that I began withjournaling or just reading a
(13:40):
verse or two, and then,gradually, I found that I wanted
more time.
But for me and for most people,it all just starts with a few
intentional minutes, right.
Another tip incorporate prayerthroughout your day.
You know, I remember one timeduring the 40 days leading up to
(14:04):
Easter I decided I was going todo this healthy eating plan
Okay, whole 30, right when youjust eat whole foods for 30 or
40 days and you know you cut outsugar and coffee, creamers and
you know all these indulgencesand then you just really eat
natural whole foods.
(14:24):
Well, every time during that 40days that I would have a
craving for something I wasn'tsupposed to have, I just said a
little prayer and it wasn'tsomething you know wrote, it was
just a little conversation.
Lord, thank you for healthyfood.
Thank you for helping me havethe self-control right to keep
(14:49):
this going, the self-controlright to keep this going.
I prayed more during that 40days than I've probably ever
prayed in my life.
Right, because I decided thatevery time I had a physical
sensation for food, I was goingto offer that up and just say a
quick little statement ofgratitude to God for something
that he has given me in my life,right.
(15:10):
So prayer throughout the daycould be attaching it to
something you do several timesevery day.
One is brushing your teeth.
When you're brushing your teethin the morning and at night, if
you just make it a habit to addprayer to brushing your teeth,
that will be transformative.
(15:31):
If, every time you go into therestroom to relieve yourself,
you say a little prayer rightthere on the throne, guess what?
That's going to betransformational, right?
We're not trying to add on anew habit to a totally different
time of day.
Let's work smarter, not harder.
(15:53):
Let's just take what we'realready doing a couple times of
the day and incorporate prayerinto that thing we're already
doing Habit stacking.
There's a great book calledAtomic Habits.
I'd highly recommend it.
It's a great read to justremind yourself.
We can start something new ifwe link it to something we
(16:14):
already have a habit of doing.
So another great way, obviously, is when you eat anytime you
eat food, just take a minute toconnect with God, right?
Say a quick prayer for yourchildren or your spouse, and it
can be 30 seconds, it can bethree minutes, right, but
incorporating prayer throughoutyour day is a great way to go
(16:37):
back to the well and spirituallyget fed, to fill up, so you
have something to pour out.
Another great way is whenyou're driving your kids to
school.
There are so many great littleprayer apps or reflections.
We love the Halo app andspecifically we listen to Jeff
(16:58):
Kaven's Daily Reflection.
The guy is a great storyteller.
Our kids love the stories hetells and he links it to the
gospel message and he links itto the gospel message.
What a great little way tospend your commute as you're
going for errands or a run toschool or to sports practice is
(17:19):
just putting something good onthe radio in your car and just
listening to it together.
That can be more of a routineand a natural habit for you as a
family as well.
Here's another idea If you havea spouse, if you're married, do
a devotional together Right offthe bat in the morning.
(17:41):
Just suggest to your spouse hey, let's do this 10-minute
devotional together.
One of us can read it out loudand then we can have a quick
little discussion about how itresonated with us.
Right, and just getting in thehabit of, you know, doing a
cheers with your coffee mug andreading the devotional and
sitting with it for a fewminutes.
(18:02):
Right, even if you just spendfive minutes reading and
discussing, like a shortdevotional it can bring you
closer as a couple and create aunited front in your marriage
and family life.
Isn't that so important?
To be a united front, to bethis sort of fortified bit of
(18:27):
protection for your family,because you're connected around
and centered around your faithtotally worth it.
Okay, you could also make faithpart of your family routine,
right, like before you go to bedat night.
How about praying around the bedof your youngest child?
I grew up doing this in myhousehold and have fond memories
(18:49):
of us kneeling around my littlesister's bed every night.
She was the first one we put tobed at night because she went
to bed earliest.
So we all just gathered aroundand said some family prayers
together.
And so when we had our kids, wethought, well, that's just what
you do at night, right, that'show you tuck your kids into bed,
because we were shown andmodeled that we were able to
(19:12):
start that with our own kids andwe still do it, and it's a
precious time.
And so if you are, you know,wrestling with the idea of, well
, how do I get prayer started?
We never did that in my family.
Everybody just kind of went tobed and you said goodnight, and
there was no family prayeraround the bed.
Just keep it simple.
Just decide that as a family,when the youngest one goes to
(19:34):
bed, everybody's going to meetin that bedroom, you know.
Say a quick prayer of gratitudeto God.
You know any special intentionsyou have.
Just don't worry about, youknow, being caught up in these
rote prayers, but focus yourefforts on just having a
conversation with God, a naturalconversation, maybe eyes closed
(19:58):
, right, If that's morecomfortable for you, but just
prayer of gratitude, a prayer ofsomething that you would like
help with, and then close it outwith a little family hug right,
it can be that simple.
So that routine for us has justbrought a lot of peace to our
home.
It's helped our kids also, Ibelieve, start the next day in a
(20:22):
more positive way.
Right, how you go to bed atnight really makes an impact on
the mood and the vibe the nextmorning when your alarm clock
goes off.
So another great way to includesomething positive in that
(20:44):
nightly bedtime routine is justsome family prayer.
I want to talk about this interms of, like an analogy, of
maintaining your car, cause thisis something we all have to do,
right, or or our vehicles breakdown.
They don't fix themselves.
You know, I find myself tellingmy 18 year old that, um, you
(21:06):
know, he moved out and he'sliving in Lincoln, nebraska.
And he's like, oh, my car didsuch and such.
And I'm like, remember, dude,the cars don't fix themselves.
If they're making a noise orstalling out, it's time for
maintenance.
Right, it might be past due formaintenance, but you definitely
have to check into it.
So I want you to imagine yourspiritual life is like a car.
(21:28):
If you don't take time tomaintain it right Checking the
oil, filling up the gas, gettingyour tires rotated it's going
to break down eventually.
And your marriage and familylife are the same way.
When you take time to fill upspiritually each day, you're
(21:50):
making sure the engine isrunning and it's running
smoothly.
You're making sure that youhave the energy, patience and
love to pour into your marriageand your children.
Skipping out on thatmaintenance, whether it's
through prayer, devotional or aquick quiet moment, may get you
(22:11):
through the day, but eventuallyyou're going to find yourself
running on empty.
If you're still not convincedthat this habit is for you, I
want to hit you with a few statsto back it up.
Okay, remember, I've been alicensed clinical social worker
for 20 years.
I've been counseling parents,married couples, and statistics
(22:34):
are real depending on who doesthe study, but I like to find
the good studies.
So, according to a study doneby the National Marriage Project
, couples who pray togetherreport higher levels of marital
satisfaction, report higherlevels of marital satisfaction,
(22:54):
and over 70% of couples who makefaith a priority in their
relationship say they experiencedeeper emotional intimacy,
better communication which wecould all use and greater
resilience during tough times.
What is resilience?
It's the ability to bounce backwhen something tough comes at
you.
And let me just tell you it'snot just your marriage, because,
(23:18):
according to research fromFocus on the Family, families
that practice regular spiritualactivities together praying at
night before bedtime, biblestudy together, worship, church
service they tend to havestronger bonds, better
communication and healthierfamily dynamics.
(23:39):
These families are also betterequipped to handle stress and
challenges, which we know areinevitable in marriage and
family life.
Stress and challenges, folks,are part of our story.
It is not something we shouldexpect to be free from.
It is something we have toaccept, and so if we know that
(24:03):
stress and challenges are coming, then we do what it takes to
fortify the foundation of ourmarriage and our family life
through our spiritual connectionthrough going back to that well
of our faith that fills us up.
(24:24):
When you prioritize your faith,you prioritize the foundation
of your home and I want to justmention this.
You know, I hear over the past10, 15 years of helping couples,
I've heard especially with mennot sure why, in particular this
(24:45):
is with men, but they'll say Idon't have another spare minute,
like I'm blasting out the door,I'm trying to get to the office
, like adding one more thing,it's not going to be worth it.
You know, if I can get to theoffice 15 minutes earlier, I can
make 16 more.
You know sales calls or I can,you know, bump up my earning by
(25:09):
$200 a paycheck by doing thisone thing.
That's what I need to focus myefforts on.
I want to encourage you tothink differently.
It has been amazing in mymarriage how more productive and
more fruitful my husband and Ihave been, not because of the
(25:30):
extra thing we did at work orthe specific coaching technique
or tip that we got.
It's because we have decided tocarve out 15 minutes of
intentional time for our faithfirst thing in the morning that
we were actually able to makemore money, to be able to make
(25:53):
more calls to be able to servemore clients.
God makes a way.
He makes a way when youprioritize the things that
matter in your marriage andfamily life.
He knows what your marriage andfamily life looks like.
He gets to see every little bitof it.
So when you put him first, itis amazing the grace that he
(26:16):
gives you during the day.
Right, all of a sudden, trafficisn't quite as bad on the way
to pick up your kids from school.
All of a sudden, that issuethat you had at work, somehow
the knots just untangledthemselves and there's an easier
path.
Right.
But as a parent, when you'rebusy and stressed, it's very
(26:37):
hard to believe that startingsomething new like this really
is going to have those benefitsright away and over time.
That's why I jump on the michere at Families of Character
folks is to share with you thatthis has worked.
This has worked for me andhundreds of other couples.
So part of our faith right isbelieving without seeing it
(27:01):
right and trying to implementthese things, even the small
little steps that I'mencouraging, just one of those
things.
Try to get that going in yourlife tomorrow right, first thing
tomorrow morning, and just see.
I would love to hear from youand how it's working.
(27:22):
I just want to give some closingthoughts about this whole thing
.
I don't want you to get caughtup in the hustle of life and
look back and go man, I wish Iwould have done that five years
ago, right?
Don't forget to prioritize whatmatters most Our faith, our
marriage and our families, inthat order.
(27:43):
So, whether you're a mom or adad, taking that extra 15
minutes in the morning toconnect spiritually will have a
massive ripple effect that willbenefit your marriage, your
family and your own personalwell-being.
Remember, guys, you don't haveto be perfect.
Some days are going to bebetter than others, but don't
(28:05):
give up.
Just like a car needsmaintenance to keep running,
your spiritual life needsregular care to keep you fueled
for all that life is going tothrow your way.
So I hope that this episodeencourages you to start small
and make faith a part of yourdaily routine.
(28:26):
Trust me, okay, it'll make allthe difference.
Thank you for tuning in and forlistening today and, as always,
if you have any questions, wantto share your own experiences,
please reach out to me on socialmedia or send me an email.
Hello at families ofcharactercom.
(28:47):
I love hearing from you all.
I've got to tell you that overthe past few months I've been
hearing from couples that havegone through our Thriving Family
Accelerator coaching program orhave attended one of our
workshops, and you all arecrushing it.
You're writing in saying we'rekeeping up on a weekly family
(29:07):
huddle and, man, I have neverfelt like a more unified team.
Jordan, thank you forencouraging my husband and I to
pray together.
That 90 seconds of prayer timeas a couple in the morning has
totally transformed the way wefeel about each other, even the
way we glance at each other.
(29:28):
It has really drawn us so muchcloser.
You guys are telling me abouthow you're responsive versus
reactive to your kids, becauseyou're taking better care of
your spiritual life.
You're taking better care ofyour mental health, your
physical health.
This is super exciting.
It's so fulfilling to hear onmy end how these messages that
(29:53):
we're putting out, how thecoaching content that we are
putting out there for couplesand delivering in workshops at
churches and parents groups, arereally bearing a lot of fruit.
So please share with me any ofthe successes you're having and
certainly any roadblocks thatare keeping you from
(30:16):
experiencing thesetransformations that you're
hearing about from other couplesin our community because we can
help.
Here at Families of Character, Isigned my emails with a special
signature that says I'm alwaysin your corner.
And that's true, 100% true.
(30:37):
Reach out to me.
Hello at families ofcharactercom, I would love to
help you.
Until next time, please takecare of yourselves and your
families and remember when youprioritize your faith and your
families.
And remember when youprioritize your faith,
everything else falls into place.
(30:57):
Guys, I'll catch you on anotherepisode of our show real soon.
Please share this with yourspouse and anyone in your
circles to help us get themessage out.
Take care and we'll connectreal soon.
Hey there, welcome back to the podcast, or I guess
I should say for newbies,welcome to the podcast.
We have had so many newlisteners over the past 30 days.
We've actually had 400 moredownloads on our podcast over
(00:20):
the past 30 days than we have inprevious months.
So thank you for tuning in.
Thank you from the bottom of myheart for sharing our podcast
with people in your circles.
This is so wonderful.
You're helping us to reallyspread the message to parents
(00:40):
and grandparents about how toreally strengthen your marriage
and unify your family.
This is such an important thingin society, right?
The family is the backbone ofour culture and if the family
unit is breaking down, so is ourculture.
(01:02):
So our mission here at Familiesof Character is really to save
kids from the pain of divorceand to help married couples who
are raising kids to strengthentheir marriage relationship,
reorder the priorities in theirlives, because oftentimes we put
kids before our spouse, beforeour faith life, and everything
(01:25):
just sort of gets flipped on itshead.
So we really want to help youto reprioritize and be
intentional about your faith,your married life and raising
your kids in that order.
So thank you for sharing ourmessage far and wide in the ways
(01:47):
that you do by texting it topeople, forwarding on our
Tuesday morning emails thatinclude the link to our podcast.
You are doing all the thingsand it's making a huge
difference for the families ofcharacter, community and people
throughout the world.
We have people listening inlike seven different countries.
I think we're up to like 40 outof the 50 states, so this is
(02:12):
really exciting and it's becauseof you.
So thank you and know that youhave a big place in our hearts
here at Families of Characterfor just helping us to get the
message out.
Listen, I am so glad you'rehere today, okay, especially
because this episode I'm aboutto share with you is very near
and dear to my heart, and youknow, if you've been listening
(02:35):
for a long time or even for afew episodes, that I'm all about
sharing my own personaltestimony.
It's all about being vulnerableand authentic and just showing
you what's going on inside thehouse over here at Team Langdon
in Denver, colorado, okay, so Iwant to share with you a little
(02:56):
bit today about something thathas radically changed the way I
approach both my marriage and myfamily life, and that is
prioritizing my faith.
Now you're going to be like oh,jordan, I got to hang up right
now.
I don't have time for that.
Like, what are you talkingabout?
I'm raising kids.
(03:16):
I'm doing, you know, diapers,dinner dishes.
I ain't got time to add.
One more thing Tune in, do notpress pause or stop on this
episode.
It's going to be much easierthan you expect and the benefits
are going to ripple out foryears.
So tune in here.
Okay, I'm going to admit rightoff the bat, it was not always
(03:40):
easy for me to make time for myspiritual life, and maybe
there's some, some guilt or evensome shame around that.
But I'll just be real.
When my kids were young, Iremember back then feeling like
I was already stretched thin andbarely getting enough sleep.
You know, when you've gottoddlers like one year oldold, a
(04:03):
four-year-old and then aneight-year-old or nine-year-old
Like you're running at all timesof the day and night, you're
feeling like two ships passingthe night with your spouse.
It's hard, right, and at thattime in my life I remember the
thought of waking up even 15minutes earlier than I was
(04:24):
already getting up, or 15minutes, you know, before my
kids woke up felt like animpossible task.
But I want to share with youhow that small, seemingly
insignificant adjustment in myday ended up filling me up in
ways I didn't even realize Ineeded.
(04:46):
So the early struggle right.
For those of you who are parents, especially if you've got
little ones running around, I'msure that you can relate to this
.
When you're sleep deprived,there's nothing worse than the
idea of setting the alarm clockearlier than necessary.
I myself was constantly insurvival mode, trying to get a
(05:08):
little extra sleep or squeezingin some me time after the kids
went to bed, which usuallydidn't happen either, because
well, life right.
But something shifted for mewhen I realized that I could not
keep pouring from this emptycup of mine.
(05:29):
I needed a source of strengththat wasn't just physical sleep
or even a good workout.
I needed something more,something deeper, something
spiritual.
So what I did was I just took aleap of faith.
Okay, pun intended.
(05:52):
I decided to set my alarm just15 minutes earlier.
I figured I could tryjournaling, or maybe a short
devotional, you know, somethingthat would sort of like center
me on the day ahead.
What I had been doing isgetting up to the cry of my baby
or, you know, rocketing out ofbed because I'd hit the snooze
(06:17):
button, and then the way I wasstarting my day was, by whatever
crisis had come up, you know,in the early hours of the
morning, and so there was zerolike runway for me to have a
decent takeoff to my day,because what I had been doing
(06:37):
was just kind of starting mymorning in a reactive stance,
right Like oh, somebody's crying.
Oh, in a reactive stance, rightLike, oh, somebody's crying.
Oh, somebody needs their diaperchange.
Oh, somebody had a nightmare,oh, you know.
And then I would.
Once you get the ball rolling,you get your coffee and you're
(07:00):
putting out fires, you justnever return back to that.
Okay, so what I did, by settingmy alarm 15 minutes earlier than
I usually get up, is I decidedto take control of my day.
I decided that something small,by doing a devotional, could
actually become my lifeline.
Now, let's be real, I didn'tfeel like right when I started
(07:23):
doing this, that I was fillingup.
The first few days, or evenweeks, of this new habit, it was
more like I had made thecommitment and I decided I was
going to buckle down and do itfor like 30 days, whether it
felt right or not, whether Iliked it or not, or whether you
know, I could feel the benefitright away, liked it or not, or
(07:47):
whether you know I could feelthe benefit right away.
There was a part of me duringthat first, you know, week to
three weeks, that still wantedto hit the snooze button.
But I tell you, as I kept goingI began to notice something.
I began to notice that my soul,you know, deep down inside sort
of that pit of your stomach,felt more at peace and that my
(08:10):
mind was actually more focusedduring my day and my heart was
actually more connected to thisbigger picture of what my life
was all about.
I wasn't just going through themotions anymore and reacting to
my day.
I was starting my day centeredon what really mattered my faith
(08:33):
, my marriage and my family.
And I got to tell you theripple effect it had on my
marriage was unbelievable.
And you know what?
That change in my spiritualroutine didn't just affect me
and my husband and our marriage,it helped our children as well.
(08:54):
When I started making time,carving out that 15 minutes in
the morning, first thing for myfaith, it filled me with a sense
of purpose and clarity thatallowed me to show up better for
my husband, first and foremost,and then for my kids.
(09:14):
You know those days when thestress of the kids, work and
just like life in general makesyou feel like you're just on the
edge.
Well before I'd let thatfrustration out on really the
person closest to me, right, myhusband Josh.
But when I intentionally filledmyself up with you know,
(09:38):
spiritually, first thing in themorning I was able to show up in
my marriage with more patience,understanding and grace and
guess what?
I found myself admitting mywrongs and apologizing more than
I ever had in my marriage.
It was quite the transformationInstead of reacting, I was
(10:01):
responding in a way thatreflected the love and the
kindness that I had just myselfreceived in my devotional time.
So I really want to underscorethat that by starting my day
with a daily devotional and Ipersonally prefer a book called
(10:23):
Jesus Calling.
I personally prefer a bookcalled Jesus Calling.
It's a one page, you know,calendar devotional where,
whatever date it is, you open tothat page and there's a
scripture verse and a sweetlittle message where Jesus is
speaking to you specifically.
And when I started using thatdevotional and really receiving
(11:10):
that love, received myself bytaking that extra time to
everyone else in my family.
I know 15 minutes a day.
You think Jordan really Did ithave that big of an effect?
Yes, I wouldn't do a wholeepisode about it if it hadn't.
So I want to give you somepractical tips.
Right, you know how I'm alwaysbringing the practical tips, for
how do we take this informationand apply it to our lives today
(11:32):
, as busy parents?
First of all, you're probablythinking this is going to be
really hard to make this happen.
You're going to be thinkingabout all the reasons that it's
not going to work for you.
But I'm here to help with that.
Right, when I sign my emails,always in your corner, that's
because I am.
(11:52):
I really am always in yourcorner.
If you believe that thisinformation is not for you, if
you believe that these toolswon't work for you, if you
believe that these habits won'twork for you, well, the hard
truth is they won't.
But if you have that hope, ifyou've been tuning into our
episodes and you're catchingthis vibe that you know what I
(12:14):
can do some small things thatwill make a difference.
And I am willing to sacrifice15 minutes of sleep in the
morning because I believe whatJordan is saying, what she has
done in her own life, has reallymade a difference.
Then I've got the tips for youright here, okay, and let me
just tell you there's no perfectformula.
(12:35):
Nobody's got it perfect, right.
Some days you're going to feellike you're nailing it and other
days you're feeling like I'mbarely holding it together.
But consistency, even in thesmallest ways, is what's going
to make a world of difference.
So it's not about how greatyou're doing it or how poorly
(12:55):
you're doing it.
It's about just doing it.
Doing it when you're tired,doing it when you're angry,
doing it when you are hungry,during.
Doing it when you're, you know,just feeling like, um, oh yeah,
I'm feeling so good, I'd ratherdo something else.
Right, that's also a time to go.
But wait, that 15 minutes, thatfirst 15 minutes of my day,
(13:18):
makes a difference, all right,so let's jump into it.
Few tips to help you getstarted.
Whether you're a mother or afather, you can do these.
Okay, start small.
Doesn't have to be an hour long.
Bible study Does not have to bean hour at the Adoration Chapel
, right, just start with 10 or15 minutes.
I told you that I began withjournaling or just reading a
(13:40):
verse or two, and then,gradually, I found that I wanted
more time.
But for me and for most people,it all just starts with a few
intentional minutes, right.
Another tip incorporate prayerthroughout your day.
You know, I remember one timeduring the 40 days leading up to
(14:04):
Easter I decided I was going todo this healthy eating plan
Okay, whole 30, right when youjust eat whole foods for 30 or
40 days and you know you cut outsugar and coffee, creamers and
you know all these indulgencesand then you just really eat
natural whole foods.
(14:24):
Well, every time during that 40days that I would have a
craving for something I wasn'tsupposed to have, I just said a
little prayer and it wasn'tsomething you know wrote, it was
just a little conversation.
Lord, thank you for healthyfood.
Thank you for helping me havethe self-control right to keep
(14:49):
this going, the self-controlright to keep this going.
I prayed more during that 40days than I've probably ever
prayed in my life.
Right, because I decided thatevery time I had a physical
sensation for food, I was goingto offer that up and just say a
quick little statement ofgratitude to God for something
that he has given me in my life,right.
(15:10):
So prayer throughout the daycould be attaching it to
something you do several timesevery day.
One is brushing your teeth.
When you're brushing your teethin the morning and at night, if
you just make it a habit to addprayer to brushing your teeth,
that will be transformative.
(15:31):
If, every time you go into therestroom to relieve yourself,
you say a little prayer rightthere on the throne, guess what?
That's going to betransformational, right?
We're not trying to add on anew habit to a totally different
time of day.
Let's work smarter, not harder.
(15:53):
Let's just take what we'realready doing a couple times of
the day and incorporate prayerinto that thing we're already
doing Habit stacking.
There's a great book calledAtomic Habits.
I'd highly recommend it.
It's a great read to justremind yourself.
We can start something new ifwe link it to something we
(16:14):
already have a habit of doing.
So another great way, obviously, is when you eat anytime you
eat food, just take a minute toconnect with God, right?
Say a quick prayer for yourchildren or your spouse, and it
can be 30 seconds, it can bethree minutes, right, but
incorporating prayer throughoutyour day is a great way to go
(16:37):
back to the well and spirituallyget fed, to fill up, so you
have something to pour out.
Another great way is whenyou're driving your kids to
school.
There are so many great littleprayer apps or reflections.
We love the Halo app andspecifically we listen to Jeff
(16:58):
Kaven's Daily Reflection.
The guy is a great storyteller.
Our kids love the stories hetells and he links it to the
gospel message and he links itto the gospel message.
What a great little way tospend your commute as you're
going for errands or a run toschool or to sports practice is
(17:19):
just putting something good onthe radio in your car and just
listening to it together.
That can be more of a routineand a natural habit for you as a
family as well.
Here's another idea If you havea spouse, if you're married, do
a devotional together Right offthe bat in the morning.
(17:41):
Just suggest to your spouse hey, let's do this 10-minute
devotional together.
One of us can read it out loudand then we can have a quick
little discussion about how itresonated with us.
Right, and just getting in thehabit of, you know, doing a
cheers with your coffee mug andreading the devotional and
sitting with it for a fewminutes.
(18:02):
Right, even if you just spendfive minutes reading and
discussing, like a shortdevotional it can bring you
closer as a couple and create aunited front in your marriage
and family life.
Isn't that so important?
To be a united front, to bethis sort of fortified bit of
(18:27):
protection for your family,because you're connected around
and centered around your faithtotally worth it.
Okay, you could also make faithpart of your family routine,
right, like before you go to bedat night.
How about praying around the bedof your youngest child?
I grew up doing this in myhousehold and have fond memories
(18:49):
of us kneeling around my littlesister's bed every night.
She was the first one we put tobed at night because she went
to bed earliest.
So we all just gathered aroundand said some family prayers
together.
And so when we had our kids, wethought, well, that's just what
you do at night, right, that'show you tuck your kids into bed,
because we were shown andmodeled that we were able to
(19:12):
start that with our own kids andwe still do it, and it's a
precious time.
And so if you are, you know,wrestling with the idea of, well
, how do I get prayer started?
We never did that in my family.
Everybody just kind of went tobed and you said goodnight, and
there was no family prayeraround the bed.
Just keep it simple.
Just decide that as a family,when the youngest one goes to
(19:34):
bed, everybody's going to meetin that bedroom, you know.
Say a quick prayer of gratitudeto God.
You know any special intentionsyou have.
Just don't worry about, youknow, being caught up in these
rote prayers, but focus yourefforts on just having a
conversation with God, a naturalconversation, maybe eyes closed
(19:58):
, right, If that's morecomfortable for you, but just
prayer of gratitude, a prayer ofsomething that you would like
help with, and then close it outwith a little family hug right,
it can be that simple.
So that routine for us has justbrought a lot of peace to our
home.
It's helped our kids also, Ibelieve, start the next day in a
(20:22):
more positive way.
Right, how you go to bed atnight really makes an impact on
the mood and the vibe the nextmorning when your alarm clock
goes off.
So another great way to includesomething positive in that
(20:44):
nightly bedtime routine is justsome family prayer.
I want to talk about this interms of, like an analogy, of
maintaining your car, cause thisis something we all have to do,
right, or or our vehicles breakdown.
They don't fix themselves.
You know, I find myself tellingmy 18 year old that, um, you
(21:06):
know, he moved out and he'sliving in Lincoln, nebraska.
And he's like, oh, my car didsuch and such.
And I'm like, remember, dude,the cars don't fix themselves.
If they're making a noise orstalling out, it's time for
maintenance.
Right, it might be past due formaintenance, but you definitely
have to check into it.
So I want you to imagine yourspiritual life is like a car.
(21:28):
If you don't take time tomaintain it right Checking the
oil, filling up the gas, gettingyour tires rotated it's going
to break down eventually.
And your marriage and familylife are the same way.
When you take time to fill upspiritually each day, you're
(21:50):
making sure the engine isrunning and it's running
smoothly.
You're making sure that youhave the energy, patience and
love to pour into your marriageand your children.
Skipping out on thatmaintenance, whether it's
through prayer, devotional or aquick quiet moment, may get you
(22:11):
through the day, but eventuallyyou're going to find yourself
running on empty.
If you're still not convincedthat this habit is for you, I
want to hit you with a few statsto back it up.
Okay, remember, I've been alicensed clinical social worker
for 20 years.
I've been counseling parents,married couples, and statistics
(22:34):
are real depending on who doesthe study, but I like to find
the good studies.
So, according to a study doneby the National Marriage Project
, couples who pray togetherreport higher levels of marital
satisfaction, report higherlevels of marital satisfaction,
(22:54):
and over 70% of couples who makefaith a priority in their
relationship say they experiencedeeper emotional intimacy,
better communication which wecould all use and greater
resilience during tough times.
What is resilience?
It's the ability to bounce backwhen something tough comes at
you.
And let me just tell you it'snot just your marriage, because,
(23:18):
according to research fromFocus on the Family, families
that practice regular spiritualactivities together praying at
night before bedtime, biblestudy together, worship, church
service they tend to havestronger bonds, better
communication and healthierfamily dynamics.
(23:39):
These families are also betterequipped to handle stress and
challenges, which we know areinevitable in marriage and
family life.
Stress and challenges, folks,are part of our story.
It is not something we shouldexpect to be free from.
It is something we have toaccept, and so if we know that
(24:03):
stress and challenges are coming, then we do what it takes to
fortify the foundation of ourmarriage and our family life
through our spiritual connectionthrough going back to that well
of our faith that fills us up.
(24:24):
When you prioritize your faith,you prioritize the foundation
of your home and I want to justmention this.
You know, I hear over the past10, 15 years of helping couples,
I've heard especially with mennot sure why, in particular this
(24:45):
is with men, but they'll say Idon't have another spare minute,
like I'm blasting out the door,I'm trying to get to the office
, like adding one more thing,it's not going to be worth it.
You know, if I can get to theoffice 15 minutes earlier, I can
make 16 more.
You know sales calls or I can,you know, bump up my earning by
(25:09):
$200 a paycheck by doing thisone thing.
That's what I need to focus myefforts on.
I want to encourage you tothink differently.
It has been amazing in mymarriage how more productive and
more fruitful my husband and Ihave been, not because of the
(25:30):
extra thing we did at work orthe specific coaching technique
or tip that we got.
It's because we have decided tocarve out 15 minutes of
intentional time for our faithfirst thing in the morning that
we were actually able to makemore money, to be able to make
(25:53):
more calls to be able to servemore clients.
God makes a way.
He makes a way when youprioritize the things that
matter in your marriage andfamily life.
He knows what your marriage andfamily life looks like.
He gets to see every little bitof it.
So when you put him first, itis amazing the grace that he
(26:16):
gives you during the day.
Right, all of a sudden, trafficisn't quite as bad on the way
to pick up your kids from school.
All of a sudden, that issuethat you had at work, somehow
the knots just untangledthemselves and there's an easier
path.
Right.
But as a parent, when you'rebusy and stressed, it's very
(26:37):
hard to believe that startingsomething new like this really
is going to have those benefitsright away and over time.
That's why I jump on the michere at Families of Character
folks is to share with you thatthis has worked.
This has worked for me andhundreds of other couples.
So part of our faith right isbelieving without seeing it
(27:01):
right and trying to implementthese things, even the small
little steps that I'mencouraging, just one of those
things.
Try to get that going in yourlife tomorrow right, first thing
tomorrow morning, and just see.
I would love to hear from youand how it's working.
(27:22):
I just want to give some closingthoughts about this whole thing
.
I don't want you to get caughtup in the hustle of life and
look back and go man, I wish Iwould have done that five years
ago, right?
Don't forget to prioritize whatmatters most Our faith, our
marriage and our families, inthat order.
(27:43):
So, whether you're a mom or adad, taking that extra 15
minutes in the morning toconnect spiritually will have a
massive ripple effect that willbenefit your marriage, your
family and your own personalwell-being.
Remember, guys, you don't haveto be perfect.
Some days are going to bebetter than others, but don't
(28:05):
give up.
Just like a car needsmaintenance to keep running,
your spiritual life needsregular care to keep you fueled
for all that life is going tothrow your way.
So I hope that this episodeencourages you to start small
and make faith a part of yourdaily routine.
(28:26):
Trust me, okay, it'll make allthe difference.
Thank you for tuning in and forlistening today and, as always,
if you have any questions, wantto share your own experiences,
please reach out to me on socialmedia or send me an email.
Hello at families ofcharactercom.
(28:47):
I love hearing from you all.
I've got to tell you that overthe past few months I've been
hearing from couples that havegone through our Thriving Family
Accelerator coaching program orhave attended one of our
workshops, and you all arecrushing it.
You're writing in saying we'rekeeping up on a weekly family
(29:07):
huddle and, man, I have neverfelt like a more unified team.
Jordan, thank you forencouraging my husband and I to
pray together.
That 90 seconds of prayer timeas a couple in the morning has
totally transformed the way wefeel about each other, even the
way we glance at each other.
(29:28):
It has really drawn us so muchcloser.
You guys are telling me abouthow you're responsive versus
reactive to your kids, becauseyou're taking better care of
your spiritual life.
You're taking better care ofyour mental health, your
physical health.
This is super exciting.
It's so fulfilling to hear onmy end how these messages that
(29:53):
we're putting out, how thecoaching content that we are
putting out there for couplesand delivering in workshops at
churches and parents groups, arereally bearing a lot of fruit.
So please share with me any ofthe successes you're having and
certainly any roadblocks thatare keeping you from
(30:16):
experiencing thesetransformations that you're
hearing about from other couplesin our community because we can
help.
Here at Families of Character, Isigned my emails with a special
signature that says I'm alwaysin your corner.
And that's true, 100% true.
(30:37):
Reach out to me.
Hello at families ofcharactercom, I would love to
help you.
Until next time, please takecare of yourselves and your
families and remember when youprioritize your faith and your
families.
And remember when youprioritize your faith,
everything else falls into place.
(30:57):
Guys, I'll catch you on anotherepisode of our show real soon.
Please share this with yourspouse and anyone in your
circles to help us get themessage out.
Take care and we'll connectreal soon.
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