March 18, 2025 • 54 mins
Send us a Text Message and suggest a topic or guest!
When was the last time you felt completely overwhelmed by the endless demands of parenting while also feeling guilty about neglecting your spiritual life? If you're nodding in recognition, this conversation with Fr. Nathan Cromly offers a refreshing perspective that might just change everything.
We dive into practical ways busy parents can prioritize their faith and nurture a personal relationship with Jesus despite the chaos of family life.
• Using St. Paul the Apostle as a model for busy parents since he balanced work, travel, and ministry
• Letting go of "would have, could have, should have" thinking that creates unnecessary guilt
• Understanding that your struggles are not obstacles to faith but the starting point
• Prioritizing faith means making it important, not necessarily time-consuming
• Making Sunday sacred by creating simple family traditions that children will remember
• Praying with your spouse daily to create spiritual connection
• Recognizing that your primary mission as a parent is your family
Did you miss Fr. Cromly's last episode with us? Check out Ep. #114: How to Influence Your Kids so They Keep Their Faith.
Want to connect with Fr. Cromly? Join his free Thursday morning Gospel reflections through saintjohninstitute.org, or check out his book, Coached by Paul the Apostle.
The Thriving Family Accelerator provides an easy, 3-step process to lower stress, parent as a united team, and enjoy a true friendship with your spouse & relationship with your kids. Sign up now for this live parent coaching with proven methods for positively engaging your family and redistributing the mental load.
Give $20 to keep the mic on. We're a 501 c(3) non-profit and produce this show for parents around the globe.
Discover the secrets to building a connected + thriving family. All you'll need is a few minutes of your week—it's easy!
Looking for things to combat boredom and bolster growth in your kids? Check out our Tame the Tech Bundle and the Best Me I Can Be Journal!
our website
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, welcome back parents.
Listen, today we have a returnguest on our show back by
popular demand, and the reasonthat we asked him back is
because we had such a greatdiscussion last time he was on
the show, but we just didn't gettime to dive into another topic
(00:20):
that you all have been askingabout, which is how in the world
, as busy parents, can weprioritize our faith and nurture
a personal relationship withJesus?
Because, let's face it, most ofus parents are running at the
speed of light.
We're dealing with diapersdinner.
(00:41):
We're dealing with diapersdinner dishes, we are the Uber
driver for our teens, like itnever stops, and it can really
feel impossible to make time forour own personal needs as
parents, and that even includesnurturing our souls through
prayer and reflection.
(01:02):
So I am very happy to welcomeback Father Nathan Cromley.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Thank you so much, jordan, glad to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Father Nathan is a Catholic priest, he's an author
and he's the president of the StJohn Institute in Denver,
colorado.
He's got a great passion forleadership.
He's also a speaker, writer,retreat leader and fellow
podcaster.
Father, last time you were onour show you gave a great talk
(01:34):
very practical about what weparents can do to positively
influence our kids while they'reat home, before they leave the
nest, so that they will keeptheir faith when they become
adults and are on their own.
And I've got to tell you somany people were delighted to
hear that your recommendationswere like way more practical
(01:56):
than they imagined coming from apriest.
So you're going to knock it outof the park today again and
give us some practical ideas ofjust how to prioritize our faith
as busy parents.
So, parents, if you have notlistened to that episode already
, please do so.
If you're a grandparentlistening to this, please listen
(02:17):
.
It was episode number 114.
And again, it was called how toPositively Influence your Kids
so that they Will Keep theirFaith when they Leave Home.
You can also just do a searchfor Nathan Cromley, father
Nathan, on our website and it'llpop right up for you.
Okay, let's get into this,father, because I just finished
(02:39):
this book that you wrote and Iknow some of you parents
listening are like Jordan.
That's so sweet you read a bookI don't have time.
I have a stack on my nightstandand have never gotten to him
because I'm busy.
It will be different and thisis a pretty small book and a
very practical and easy read.
So if you're watching onYouTube, here's the book Coached
(03:02):
by Paul the Apostle.
I'm holding it up.
It has a beautiful hand-drawnphoto of St Paul on the front
and it's just such an awesomebook.
What I found in it for parentsis there's these points to
consider regarding leading ourkids and making decisions when
(03:24):
we have no idea if it's theright decision or not, and then
also the fact that you weave inthere that there's going to be
trouble in your life and thetrouble isn't the trouble, but
the trouble is having troublewith having trouble.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
You've already good, good reader Jordan.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I'm telling you that point just just was driven home
in such a sweet way, becauseit's true, we suffer as parents,
we suffer as married couplesand we the boats always rocking,
but if you expect it and acceptit, your life is so much
different.
So this book is just chock fullof great things and, like I
(04:13):
said, a practical read forparents, even if you have young
kids to relate to.
So I just thought, father,maybe we could break up the talk
into like three little sections.
First, I want you to tell uswhy you wrote a book about St
Paul the Apostle, and how weparents can relate to and draw
inspiration from this greatsaint.
And then help us understand,from a priest perspective, why
(04:37):
it's important to develop a lifeof prayer, an interior life
where we come to know and loveJesus, even when we're already
so busy.
And then, finally, let's justtalk about some practical ways
that busy parents can actually,you know, kickstart a life of
prayer and kind of weaving theirfaith in their everyday life.
(04:59):
What do you think?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
I can't wait.
I love family as a character.
I love doing this podcast withyou, jordan.
I've been looking forward tothis, so thanks for having me
back and let's do somethinggreat for God here.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
Why did you write this book,Father, about St Paul the
Apostle?
Why St Paul?
Speaker 2 (05:20):
You know, because I'm trying to constantly solve a
problem, and that is that thefaith for most people is
beautiful and fantastic and notdirectly integrated in their
life.
So we put it in a box it'scalled Sunday Church, christmas
Eve services, maybe a confessionwhen you need it, and we live
(05:41):
the rest of our lives without it, and I'm frustrated with that.
I don't like that, I don'tthink that's the way it should
be, and I'm thinking through howdo we message this differently
so that people can, instead ofus taking you into the faith,
(06:10):
how do we bring the faith intoyou?
And St Paul is perfect for that, because in St Paul's life he
embodied a Christian messagethat became the source of a
culture, so he was able toinject Christianity and the
power of the resurrectiondirectly into the lives of the
Christians.
And so I started studying him,trying to understand, and one of
the things that I saw that wasso important and this is the
point I want to bring toeverybody is that your problems
(06:31):
are the starting point.
Your problems are startingpoint.
So your, your mission is thepurpose, and your mission is to
raise kids.
Yes, and it's to raise kids andstay married.
Okay, that's your mission.
So, as a priest, if I'm like,well, that's on the side, and
your mission is that you shouldbe doing daily holy hour, just
(06:52):
like the nuns.
You know we'll make a nun outof you.
You know I'm not beingrespectful, because to raise a
child, you have to think of allof the forms of development of a
child, their emotionaldevelopment, their emotional
development, their academicdevelopment, their social
development, at every moment ofevery day.
That's why God made mothers.
(07:13):
I mean some fathers can do it,because some fathers are awesome
, but most fathers cannot domotherhood, but mothers can.
And what does that mean?
Like you literally live hour byhour and somehow or other, god
made you guys happy with this.
Like again, for me, I'm likeGod bless you, because this
would be my death, I would notbe able to do this.
But hour by hour, how eachone's doing, as they evolve
(07:36):
through each day, hour and dayand year of their life, you're
watching this incredible thinghappen of their life.
You're watching this incrediblething happen as God, in the
circumstances of every person'sdaily thing, raises a human
being to perfection out of it.
Okay, that requires so manyother things from you.
(07:57):
That is not directly spiritualand that's okay.
First step is for you to sayGod's equipped me for this labor
called labor, and not just moms, but dads too, and the fan, and
then ups and downs of yourspouses and it's like it's just.
(08:17):
You can feel guilty and wepriests are really good at being
like.
We wish you were like us, cometo read spiritual reading and do
these things.
And I want to start off bysaying no, and that's why I
wrote this on St Paul, becauseSt Paul is all about how God
brings the faith, gives yougrace so that you can do your
(08:39):
mission in the world.
His focus on evangelizationmakes him the perfect saint to
talk about the laity, because alay person's very life is
supposed to be evangelization inand through what they do every
day.
Second reason is that st Paulhad a job.
St Paul had to work with hisown hands, so he had no money,
had to go to work every day.
(09:00):
He was a priest but but he waswithout a collar.
So I thought that him coachingus today would be just so
powerful.
Because our Christian laypeople need a saint who's real,
who's behind them and whodoesn't require them to lose
(09:21):
focus of their mission.
So that they can become saints,you need to become a saint in
your mission.
A priest is supposed to bebehind you.
You are supposed to be fightingfor Jesus in the world and the
priest is behind you, supportingyou, not pulling you out of the
battle, saying you should havebeen a priest like me, then
(09:42):
you'd be the perfect Christian.
No, and that's how it works.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Yes, thank you for giving us permission to let go
of the guilt of not doing allthe things at church or all the
holy hours of prayer.
I think was it in this bookthat you wrote about Mother
Teresa and how you know, maybe Iread it somewhere else.
But just like, sometimes, aswomen, we look to these, these
(10:09):
beautiful women that have gonebefore us, and we're like but
Mother Teresa, she took care ofall these very ill, sick,
disabled, hurting people in thestreets, and I'm only raising
three kids, and it's like, butMother Teresa was not called to
be a mother to, you know,through marriage.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Yeah, and you know what else?
St Paul had that opportunity aswell, because he was the gritty
, throwaway apostle.
He even says that the otherones all had their call and they
had their time with Jesus.
I didn't have time with Jesus,you know.
He's like I was called as one,cast away, uh, and and yet he
says I've worked harder than therest of them.
(10:50):
He actually writes this down.
And I've been in prison moreoften, I've been beaten more
often than they have.
But that proves what.
It proves that like saint paul,like you're, you're constantly
moving.
He moved 47 communities arewritten about in the New
Testament.
In 30 years.
That means he went to adifferent city more than once
(11:11):
every year.
You know, for 30 years he spentbetween six and 10 years in
prison.
Try being a monk in prison,like think about what he had to
do Then.
Just, he walked 10, 10 000miles in 30 years.
That's 3 000 miles a year.
If you want to do the math,well, it's three 300 miles a
year.
If you want to do the math,that's incredible amount of
(11:33):
journey every single year,non-stop on boats.
So I love him for that, becauseI mean you.
He was not a monk, he wasspeaking different languages.
He had to figure out hotels.
He had to take care of Timothy,take care of Titus, take care
of Luke, take care of everycommunity.
He writes about this.
He's like I'm like a mother,he's like to these communities,
(11:57):
and then his heart is ripped outby this, disappointed by this.
And in that mess I found aninspiration.
I'm like this is what parentsneed to look to, because the
other ones imagine how Paulcould have looked around.
He's like well, there's Peter,peter's having a great time,
he's with you know, in Jerusalem, the big city, and there goes
this guy and there goes that guy.
(12:17):
And for him to be able to saynone of you have worked as hard
as I have worked means that hishair was on fire.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Yes, his hair was on fire, like many of us mothers
and fathers.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
And so when he then does coaching right, your
mothers and fathers can listento that and be like, how did he
do it?
And that's what I wanted to putdown in that book.
I want to say this is how hedid it, you know, and the game,
and I'll get into this.
I know you got all kinds ofquestions, jordan.
I go on.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
I want you to.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
The game, guys, is inside.
You cannot change bath time andthe fact that your little one
is dyslexia you didn't count onthat and that your older one's
got a personality that clasheswith your husband oh, that's
great, you know, you didn'tcount on that and so now you got
(13:11):
this thing.
That's like taking up tons of.
You can't change that.
What you have to change is onthe inside game.
You saying why is that aproblem for me?
Like, oh, because I think I'msupposed to be this, or my
family should be this.
There's three words that youdon't find in the bible would
have, could have and should have.
Truly amazing, doesn't exist.
Whether.
Why does that exist?
Because it's not the languageof god.
I actually think it's thelanguage of the devil, because
(13:32):
what that does is it messes upyour inner game.
You're like, oh, I, then I?
What can I say?
Paul teaches us.
So what I do in the book andwhat I'm doing right now in your
life is by saying, like, allthat you think is so bad paul
has gone through, and paulteaches that it's the moment in
the weakness that god's going tobe glorified the most.
What you have to do is let goof the thought that you're
(13:56):
supposed to be the perfectfamily and that you're supposed
to be the perfect wife andyou're supposed to be the
perfect.
What does that mean?
Forget about that.
If your name isn't perfect,then you're never gonna be
that's right, that's your nameis bill and it's sally.
All right, so I have to be bill.
I have to be sally, which meansgod's equipped us for this.
Which is what?
And what is what am I supposedto be doing?
Glorifying him, all right.
(14:17):
So how do I do that?
I take the curve balls thatlife throws me and I knock them
out of the ballpark.
Yes, yes.
That's the inner game.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Yes, Okay, Would have , should have and could have
Never been in the Bible, Neverlike no.
Those are the words of theenemy.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Could you imagine if God was up in heaven?
Because this is what we imagine.
I'm going to tell you whatyou're imagining and it's false.
But not you Listen.
We all do this, we're all up.
God's up there in heaven, goinglike, oh my gosh.
Whenever you make god say, ohmy gosh, you know it's wrong.
He's like oh my gosh, don't doit, don't do it.
And then you're like I did it.
(14:55):
I got mad at my six-year-oldand I told them they were fat,
you know.
And so then you're like nowgod's up in heaven, like there's
nothing I can do.
And he turns to the BlessedMother.
The Blessed Mother's like whatdid she do?
She called her fat.
She called her six-year-old fat.
And then the Blessed Mother'slike what are we going to do?
God, our plan was totallydifferent and this lady screwed
(15:18):
it up.
And God's like I don't evenknow, it's out of control.
's I mean the disaster.
Like just give up, because Ican't help this person.
Like that's what we think.
And then we're like oh, stopfor a second.
The catholic doctrine is calledum uh, providence.
The catholic doctor ofprovidence means this god knew
(15:39):
before you were even born whatyou would say to your
six-year-old.
He knew, before you were evenborn, what you would say to your
six-year-old.
He knew, before you were evenborn, all the ways you would
screw up, and he knows all theways you're going to screw up,
because you cannot screw up hisplan.
His plan might be that well,I've allowed you to make a
harder life for yourself andyou've made a way that's going
(16:01):
to cause more suffering.
But I knew that and I meet youat every second with love and
all the grace that you need thatif you embrace me in this
moment, I can lead you forward.
And that's why he doesn't letus undo the past.
Paul had a terrible past,jordan.
(16:21):
If there's one guy who wants toget rid of his past, it's Paul.
You know this because threedifferent times he goes to
confession as he's writing.
So he's haunted over the yearsin his writings.
Three different times I didthese terrible things.
It was on his mind all the time.
Okay, he gives a speech.
He was like I'm a bad sinner.
It's like Paul, let it go.
He's like doesn't God let usundo our pasts, and I think it's
(16:46):
because he wants us to realizewe don't have to and actually,
in our providence he kneweverything and he's got it
figured out.
You cannot screw up his plan.
So what's our point?
Our point is, on the one hand,therefore, to do our very best,
to be humble and to get up everyday and to keep doing our best,
but better than one's best noone can do.
(17:08):
And so there, I then say thislittle phrase, and you can write
this down, take it to the bank.
I love this.
I put my past in God's mercy,my present in his love and my
future in his providence.
Past to his mercy, present tohis love.
Future is providence.
And I don't judge myself again.
(17:30):
I let it go, because God needsyou guys to lead and to be on
the top of your game, and that'swhat St Paul, that's what St
Paul teaches.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
That's why I wrote the book good, so good, and
you're saying do not judgeyourselves, like, move on.
You need to keep moving fromtown to town, from from ball
game to ball game.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
I mean if you look at the number of times paul failed
, and imagine if paul judgedhimself like I shouldn't have
said that in philippi when theythen caned me, dragged me
through the city square andkicked me out of the town.
So where does he go after that?
He goes to thessaloniki.
Guess what happens?
That's leaky.
Oops, he gets people jealous,don't you think even?
Oh no, I'm such an idiot, butthey.
(18:14):
So a mob is formed atthessaloniki and they drive him
to berea.
He goes to berea, does the samething in berea.
They did thessaloniki.
Another mob is formed, ina, andthey kick him out of Berea and
Paul's just like okay, you know,because he actually has this
great line in 1 Corinthians 15,that you can write this down and
put it on the refrigerator.
I am what I am by the grace ofGod and I love that.
(18:38):
That's a man who, of course,you judge yourself in the sense
you know you're weird, but youdon't condemn yourself.
Romans 6 the same saint paul.
There is no condemnation nowfor those who are in christ
jesus.
So stop condemning yourselves,you guys, and that little
condemnation that's in your mindall the time, saying like I
should be praying more, I shouldbe this more, I should well, I
(19:01):
mean like, stop that for asecond and be like my mission
was to raise, get my wife toheaven and to raise these kids.
And I do that with myspirituality.
But the secret is to put yourspirituality as your, your power
pack, and you keep your eyesforward and your hands busy on
(19:22):
what you got to do.
So the Lord gives us that onSundays, and then we're going to
talk about practical things.
I'm going to start already bythrowing this out there you guys
want to do one thing Put theday of the Lord in its place of
honor.
Now you don't have to go crazybecause you're like, well, it's
too much, all right if it's toomuch, but start with something
and let it grow.
Start with something.
Start with Sunday morning.
(19:43):
Do like this no appointments orshopping or anything until noon
.
Start with that, so we willwake up, we will do math.
Then what do we do?
I guess we have an hour and ahalf.
Oh no, you make BLTs for thekids and they're going to
remember that time that dadalways made those BLTs.
You put on some classical music.
Why don't you do some pipe anddrums from the Scottish marching
(20:07):
bands?
Make your kids a memory.
They're like dad made us not beon screens.
He made us listen to that goofydad music.
They love dad music, right.
And then they're listening tothe pipe and drums.
You're making them BLTs.
And it was all because you gavethem that time.
Nothing till noon.
That is suddenly like that.
One day day, those one fourthset of hours will equip you
(20:30):
spiritually for the whole week.
Now, there's more to it thanthat.
I'm just trying to make itreally easy for you, but the
principle is what I want to get,and that is that my, my mission
is my family.
My mission is my kids, kids, mywife, my spouse.
Therefore, jesus wants me to begoing on date nights and
(20:52):
getting my hair done, and Jesuswants me to be visiting with my
stupid hair lady that does myhair and tipping her, and all
these things that you think aresecular and therefore bad are
secular and therefore goodBecause you're infusing them
with God's love.
Let the priest be the priest.
Now again, some of you areextremely well-motivated and you
(21:14):
want to go crazy and pray tons.
Go for it If you can, pray allyou can.
My message is for those who arein the battle right now and who
then feel guilty because theycompare themselves to the others
, who are usually over 70 right,totally.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
there's never an apples to apples comparison.
So why do we do it?
It's craziness, but you'reright, it's the work of the
enemy and we have to torecognize when that hamster gets
on the wheel and kick him offand be like not today, satan, no
, we've got our faith-filledpower pack strapped on our back
here and we are going eyesforward and execute right, like
(21:55):
our mission is our family.
I love how you say that becauseit reminds us, with the buzz
and the craziness of the worldand all the things we can be
doing, we have to remember toprioritize one, our marriage,
and two, our kids, and that thisis our vocation.
We have been called to marriageand family life and that's got
(22:19):
to be our target.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
That means barbecues and barbecue grill cleaning and
propane tank buying and then allof that and that takes up your
time.
You guys, Be realistic aboutthat, but also be realistic that
it's your mission field.
So when you're at the storerunning the propane tank, smile
at the person behind you knowyou're on call and on duty there
(22:42):
and that's where yourspirituality comes in, because
then it feeds that, it gives youthe energy and the knowledge to
be his instrument there, andthat's how it's supposed to work
.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Yes, and prioritizing our faith.
As a busy parent, like you said, it might mean when you've got
four kids hanging off the cartat Costco that you know and
you're swinging around gettingall the samples, that you smile
at the people that are lookingat you, nuts for bringing your
kids in there and just goinglike, isn't this fun?
(23:13):
This is a crazy life, but thisis ours.
You know that you are joyfulabout the fact that you have
brought life into the world andthat you're doing this thing
right, this family living thing.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
You know, Jordan, I think you're absolutely right
and I want to emphasize, kind oflike swing to the other side
there because, on the same wayas I was saying, look, you got
to be into the secular world andgo for it.
It will consume you unless youprioritize your faith.
So if you are going into and ifyou're going in underwater,
(23:46):
right, and you don't have ascuba thing, you will last two
minutes and then you will die.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
In the same way, if you're going into parenthood and
the gym classes and the balletschool and you're driving around
like an Uber driver from oneplace to the next and you have,
you don't have, you don't have arosary, you don't have a book
on tape.
By the way, my book is onaudiobooks, yes.
So if people are like I've goteight books already, I just
laugh.
I'm like this one's not even onyour shelf.
(24:14):
Just get it on audiobooks anddownload it.
But if you don't have thosethings going for you, well, the
secular world will dominate youbecause it's demanding.
It's almost just like anotherchild Feed me, feed me, feed me,
feed me.
And so prioritizing your faithmeans that it is number one, not
in terms of time, but in termsof importance.
(24:44):
But you absolutely have to.
As a priest, do you know that Icould fill up every single
second of every single day withjust doing priestly ministry?
And do you know what wouldhappen if I did that?
I would stop being a priest.
Yes, it's as simple as that.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Recipe for burnout.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Well, if you're a Christian mother, you can fill
up your day with just being amother, but if you don't put in
Christ, then you won't be aChristian mother.
You will fail, you'll just be amom and you'll be someone
else's mom instead of Jesus'smom.
So, prioritizing your faith,remember this, though it's the
(25:15):
importance, meaning it could benot the size, it could be small,
but you must not overlook it.
When you put those together,now you become, it's the recipe
for happiness.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Dynamite.
That's where true joy comes, atthe intersection of your faith
and your vocation, your, yourcall to motherhood or fatherhood
and this married life.
Right, so good, and Iappreciate you saying that, like
you know, the priority shouldbe God, your relationship with
God and your fundamental moralbeliefs.
(25:47):
Like that should be what we oh,I said the word, should I
caught?
Speaker 2 (25:52):
myself.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
That is where we draw strength from, and that is is
just the well that we go to tomake decisions about whether the
nine-year-old gets Snapchat orwhether we support our you know
11-year-old.
In having a girlfriend, right,we have to have a foundation of
faith.
But the amount of time, justbecause it's priority one
(26:16):
doesn't mean that the amount oftime we spend at the church or
in prayer or with the rosary inour hand is greater than the
time we spend with our spouse orour kids.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
It's just, it's got to be the foundation from what
and I want to just say I meanevery couple's different.
There might be some coupleslistening that are like, well,
we do so much prayer and it's sogreat.
Well, good, good for you.
I'm just saying like you shouldalways do as much as you can.
You should always do as much as, but but when you can't or if
your dynamic is not that way,it's also possible to do this,
(26:52):
okay.
So each couple's got to takewhat I'm saying and then apply
it in their circumstances andand that's and those
circumstances are always goingto be different.
So I definitely want to concurwith with what you're saying
there, because it's important,because, at the same time, if
you don't do it and you just say, well, we're going to love God
(27:13):
at Mass on Sundays, I'm going towarrant you that eventually you
won't even be going to Mass onSundays, because what you've
done is you've made your faithlife so irrelevant.
You need, every single day, tofind a way to incarnate the fact
that you are living that dayfor God.
Just like and I'm a big fan ofthis Jordan, and maybe I'm the
(27:35):
only one, maybe I'm eveninappropriate as a priest I
think that a husband and wifeshould kiss each other once a
day.
Yes, and I tell the husbandswhen you come home from work,
first thing you should do iskissing your wife.
Why, if, from work, first thingyou should do is kissing your
wife?
Why, if you work, first thingyou should be doing look for
each other.
Why?
Because it's the reason whyyou're living that day.
It's it's it's it puts youright there.
(27:56):
It's like we're celebratingsomething that's bigger than the
tasks and the stresses.
It's called love, and I'm goingto show you that love once a
day in a way that's over andbeyond a task list.
So you put that on your tasklist.
I must kiss my wife and tellher I'm going to knock this day
(28:17):
out of the ballpark.
Okay, in the same way that youdo that once a day, you need to
kiss your God.
So what does that mean?
It means adore your God.
There's a time in every daywhere you're like you know, in
the Christian tradition, we lookat the day as a lifetime.
You're born.
When you wake up, you gothrough the strengths, your
(28:37):
strength starts to fade and thenyou remit yourself in total
surrender as you sleep again.
It's always been how theChristians have seen their day
as a little microcosm of a life,right?
Well, if that's the case, thenyou only live for today, which
means today I must honor my God.
So of course, you can go todaily mass.
(28:58):
Go to daily mass Absolutely.
If you can do your roads, youdo your roads.
You should, you should try,yeah, absolutely.
But you can also make it assimple as having a crucifix
right next to your light switchin your bedroom and before you
leave that bedroom every morning, you kiss the cross.
I think it's the neatest thing,people, we're not physical
(29:19):
enough, guys.
And so then we're like I'm justkiss the cross.
If you kiss a crucifix once aday, can you imagine what that
would do for your heart?
And then you go, I'm so sorryabout this.
And then, before you know it,you're praying Okay, great, but
you haven't even left the dooryet.
So if the kids come in and wakeyou up and they're like make me
breakfast and they pull youinto the kitchen, you stop, you
(29:39):
go guys.
Mommy hasn't kissed her Jesusyet.
And you lean in there and youkiss that Jesus and you say this
is all for you.
That's prioritizing your faith.
Yes, it's that little thing,but it'll keep everything in
line.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Yes, I have this saying I used to use when I
homeschooled hashtag count it,like that counts Kissing your
cross.
It may take five seconds, butit orients your mind to your
whole purpose.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Your whole purpose.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Kiss your husband, kiss your Jesus, every day, I
love that Father and I have tothank you just publicly on the
air for something that yousuggested at a date night event
that I attended about a year ago.
So you said you know, gentlemen, are you praying with your
wives?
And they were kind of like, uh,of course we are.
(30:33):
You know, yeah, we say prayerswith our kids at night, or
whatever.
Like no, no, are you prayingwith your wife each day?
Just the two of you, like you,gave just a really simple idea,
planted the seed for guys tojust find your wife before you
leave for work that day and justhold her hands, close your eyes
(30:53):
and pray for her in some simpleway.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Both hands.
Yes, why?
Because you can.
I mean, you know yes.
And then you say the Our Fatheryes, and the husband needs to
start it, and so, wives, let him.
All he has to say is two wordsOur Father.
She'll finish the rest.
That's right.
I remember you saying that theyjump in, they're like I don't
know, but you don't add a HailMary, you don't do it in Latin,
(31:21):
you don't even do the sign ofthe cross.
You, you don't even do the signof the cross.
You can go for it, but youdon't have to.
What's important is that thetwo of you are there, and the
reason you say the Our Father isfor your family, not for each
other, because then, when you'refighting, you're like I could
never, how could you pray for me, all this stuff?
Hey, we're doing this for thefamily and I entrust it to the
(31:42):
Father because it's the way Godstructured the thing, and it
gives the man a chance to say Iam the husband and the father
who has a responsibility here.
And, like I say, it's only twowords, but it's so important
that we do it everyone and youget to do this.
Remember, this is a privilege.
(32:03):
This is not even somethingwhere you're supposed to be like
.
I had another thing you have todo.
You get to pray with yourspouse.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
And invite God into your relationship each day, wow.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Huge.
It's huge and it's easy.
I timed it.
It takes 22 seconds, Jordan.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
That's all.
It takes 22 seconds.
Well, we have expanded on thatover here at the Langdon
household.
So what Josh does is he findsme before he leaves in the
morning.
I'll stand up wherever I am andwe hold hands and he prays for
something specific for me thathe knows I'm going through.
That day like that's coming upor something that he's heard me
probably complain about the daybefore.
That's going to be hard, orit's just a little bit of
(32:45):
suffering that I'm going through, and so he'll just pray aloud
about that thing and ask God tojust help help Jordan today as
she navigates this, this andthis.
And I have never, ever, felt sopursued by my husband in my
lifetime.
We've been married 20 years andyou think, oh, he's going to
take me to beautiful restaurantsand we're going to go on these
(33:08):
amazing dates and he's going tobuy me flowers, or maybe it's
going to be.
That one trip that he surprisedme with Praying for your wife
is bigger and better than all ofthat, gentlemen.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
So if you're listening, Men need to hear that
.
Jordan.
So you're saying that the wifeactually wants that?
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Yes, yes, and I tell women because at first I was
like oh, aren't you going to saysuch and such?
And it's like zip it, ladies,Don't say a word, just receive
your husband's prayer for you.
Receive it, because we don't dothat enough.
We're always adding toeverything or criticizing the
way somebody does something.
(33:46):
Or can you just add this?
And it's like no, just whateveryour husband says for you,
consider it a gift and praisehim for doing it.
So he keeps it up.
It's the best way to feelpursued for a woman.
And guys are like 90 seconds aday is all it takes for you to
be that happy.
(34:06):
And I'm like, yeah, you mightbe thinking all kinds of
different things about 90seconds a day, but how about 90
seconds of prayer?
It's like you can do it anytimeand it's going to be a huge
deposit in the love bait Amen,practical way to prioritize your
faith.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
Yes, and see how simple it was.
But it's because it gives youthe perspective of this is what
it's all for.
And that's the danger of beinginvolved in the world is that
you forget what you're evendoing it for.
And that can happen for a day,two days, but if it happens for
two, three months, you're now sodisoriented that other things
(34:47):
fill in those holes and beforeyou know it, you're living a
lifestyle that's not evenChristian.
And that's why you anchor it.
You anchor it your Sunday mass,everyone is not optional.
It's not optional.
And I don't care about thesoccer team, and I played soccer
my whole life.
I'm a soccer kid.
(35:07):
I never missed mass once for asoccer thing, and that was back
in the day when they stillrespected it.
So today, father, we have to.
I want you to like.
You got it.
It's not optional, which means,well then Sonny can't play on
the travel team because thecoach says then you know what
you're doing him a big favorthat's right honestly, in all my
(35:27):
years I've met one professionalsoccer player one.
You know how many millions ofsoccer.
Your kid's not gonna make it tothe professional soccer level
and even if he did, you probablywouldn't want him to be there.
That's right.
But like, what are you doing?
You know you got to.
So Sundays were the key thing.
(35:49):
I started by Sunday morning,sunday anything, sunday rosary,
with the family throw it intheir chest on Sundays, let them
complain, and mom and dad, atleast we're going to do it, but
that's one way.
And then in the typical day.
I love what you said andthere's other tips like that,
but all of it.
The perspective here, guys, isyou have to prioritize it, but
(36:12):
you don't have to spend a hugeamount of time on it.
Then again, if you can, you.
I met some people that they onething men do.
I think this is a neat thing.
Women do it too.
I just know only the men thatdo it.
But what I've heard men do isthey wake up once a week for
holy hour and so they'll go inat four in the morning,
something hard, because they'relike why should we let little
(36:33):
old ladies do the holy hours inthe middle of the night.
That should be a man thing.
And so they're like.
Therefore, they take the hardhour 2 am, 3m.
They love it because it's asacrifice, sure, and yet it's
this time where they're alonewith God.
And then I've heard their wivesbe like I'm just so happy
because that's his time withJesus and it anchors her and it
(36:54):
makes her feel like my husbandknows what he's doing, like he's
with Jesus.
He's got spirituality, you know,and they'll bring their Bible
to bring.
He's got spirituality, you know, and they'll bring their Bible
to bring my book.
They'll bring anything they gotand they'll pick their rosary.
But like, they do it every weekand it becomes this anchor that
now you know what some of themare doing.
They're bringing their kidswith them because their oldest
son wants to be like dad.
(37:16):
That was amazing.
Two AM in the morning he's withdad at that holy hour in the
middle of the night, and thatwill be something that they'll
never forget the rest of theirlife.
And I'll be darn that boy whenhe's grown up he'll be doing it.
And it was all because you dadsdid something simple and moms
you can do it too.
Same thing, but like, do it.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
That's what I'm saying yes, and invite your
child along, because if youleave the house at two in the
morning while they're sleeping,and they never have a clue that
you're at a chapel praying withGod for one hour, they don't
know that that's something thatthey can do.
They don't know that they couldaccess a chapel in the middle
of the night somewhere and havea special little conversation
(37:55):
with God, right?
Speaker 2 (37:57):
I used to do it when I was a teenager.
I met the Lord when I was 13.
And when I was 17, 18, I'd begoing to the adoration chapel,
sometimes in the middle of thenight, because I loved God and I
found him there.
Don't don't think yourteenagers are too, too young to
start praying.
I was going to daily mass mysophomore year, my junior year,
as soon as I could drive, I wasdriving a daily mass and serving
(38:20):
mass before I went to the highschool.
If you got religion in a kid,foster it.
Don't stifle the religiosity ofa teen.
It might seem crazy, it mightbe over the top.
Well, you know temporary, youknow guided.
So it's, you know.
But at this, if it's genuine,that's where you want to put,
you want to allow that, becauseJesus is working in that soul
(38:44):
and great things can happen inthat.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Yes, makes me think of retreats and camps that they
go on with their school, youknow, their classmates or youth
group and things like that, andit's a beautiful thing for them.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
John Paul II said when they asked him, when was
the first time you thought aboutbeing a priest?
And he said it was when I wakeup in the morning as a teenager
and I'd see my dad kneeling inprayer.
When he woke up, that's when herealized I want to be a priest.
Why?
Because he saw his dad doing it.
We have in the archdiocese ofDenver a summer camp called
(39:21):
Annunciation Heights.
Bring your kids up there for aweekend, rent a cabin and be
religious and have fun out inthe wilderness.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
It all happens together.
It's not separate, right.
It's just this beautiful blendof nature and God's beauty and,
you know, some great lessons andall the things together
combined Like.
I just want to underscore thepoint that you know, it's not
just okay, we did our thing, wewent to church on Sunday, and so
(39:52):
everybody, you know, everybodyknows how important God is in
our lives, because every Sundaywe go to mass or we go to church
or we go to you know whereverwe're going but to to bring that
into your natural everyday life.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
That's the beauty of what you get to do as parents.
Priests are different.
I'm like come to the silentretreat where we will be totally
artificial from the normalworld, leave the world behind.
You guys, don't do that, whichis powerful in its own way,
because you're there when that12 year old has to brave the
cold water in the lake and youget to say this is your
(40:31):
coming-of-age ritual, whoevercan swim across?
All that silly stuff.
It's not silly, it's actuallythe truth of that little kid's
life, where he and then who'sright there?
Dad, and who is dad?
A Christian man?
Who's mom?
She's someone who loves Jesusand loves me, and you bring,
(40:52):
like needing, the faith into thefabric of that human being.
That's why it's so beautifuland it'll happen automatically
if you yourselves are anchored.
You anchor yourself in the Lordand then you let it loose and
he will guide you through thatwhole rest of the way.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
Yes, that just makes me think.
You know you can't love whatyou don't know.
You don't know.
And so if you want your kids toknow Christ you want your kids
to be Christian you yourselfhave to fill yourself with the
(41:33):
love of God and you have toallow yourself to be loved by
God.
And that means, as a busy mom,being okay with you know,
getting up 15 minutes beforeyour kids do so that you can
read a special devotional that'smade for mothers in silence, or
joining a Bible study while youstill have little kids, and
actually asking your husband forpermission.
(41:54):
We do this in married life.
Would you mind taking care ofthe kids on Wednesday morning so
that I can go to this Biblestudy?
This is really important for me.
You know what Husband supportyour wives doing that and vice
versa.
Your husband wants to go to,you know, men's retreat.
It's going to be a wholeweekend.
You can't imagine taking careof the kids that long.
Just keep them alive for threedays.
(42:15):
It's going to fill him up somuch and you're going to have
this guy come back and he'sgoing to be changed in some
small or big way, and you mightnot see it at the beginning, but
it's worth investing in thesetypes of things as individuals
right, so that we can come toknow and love God and it will
just overflow out from us intoour kids.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
I want to give you another practical tip, because
you're into practical tips here.
Mirrors are powerful things.
I was just in a home of afamily three days ago and they
had stick it notes with Biblepassages, prayers, things like
Jesus, I love you, lord, havemercy, taped to the the mirror.
(43:00):
They had a big old mirror, waytoo big, I mean.
None of us are that big, sokeep your corner for yourself.
But the rest, put something sothat when you're getting ready I
found myself there was washingmy hands, and I'm sitting there
reading this, uplifting Biblepassages.
And you do that every.
I think how many times you goto the bathroom?
And if every single time it wasan encounter with God, it's
(43:21):
because on those mirrors andthat's such an amazing thing,
also for, like little publicityfor the teens, because they
can't take it down.
Yeah well, you're putting allkinds of things.
God made me beautiful, you know.
Boom, thank you god for makingme beautiful.
You put all those things upthere, and so now you're both
controlling the familyenvironment, but you're also
taking a need to respite,because at the length of time it
(43:43):
takes you to wash your handscould be one Hail Mary or one
Jesus.
I offer you my sufferings, butwe need to help.
That's why, taping prayers tomirrors, I should start a
ministry.
We should sell this Jordan.
We can make the tapable prayersand get them on up there for
people.
Because, guys, it's the littlethings, that's what I'm saying,
(44:05):
but like it's the focus andthat's what we need.
The most?
Speaker 1 (44:09):
Yes, and you're talking about habit stacking.
Take something you already doevery day you wash your hands.
You at least brush your teeth,hopefully once.
So put it right by the mirrorwhere you're brushing your teeth
, right.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
It's one of those, those automatic brushes.
You're in for three or fourminutes, that's right.
Someone gave me one of thosethings and I'm just like this is
crazy.
So now that you put up, youcould put three or four big old
prayers up there and you gothrough your routine as you're
doing your like automatictoothbrush.
Speaker 1 (44:37):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
What else are you doing during that time?
Speaker 1 (44:39):
You know, that's right, that's right.
You mentioned also, just youknow, having a crucifix or
crossing every room.
That is such a visual reminderand, as busy parents, I know
that if you don't see it it'snot on your mind because you're
going and blowing so fast thatit's just you move past things.
Also, in the same vein, I had asign up in our kitchen,
(45:00):
probably for an entire year, andit said what can I do to help?
And it had these little ideasto just draw to mind for our
kids.
Hey, how can I help around here?
What is it that I can do today?
Well, guess what?
After about a month, no one sawit.
Right, you have to like becreative as parents and you have
to take the sign from its usualplace, where everybody stared
(45:23):
at it for 30 days and nowthey're desensitized to it, and
you have to move it to adifferent place in the kitchen
where you have to change up thecolor of the sticky note on
their bathroom mirror becausethey're looking right past it
again.
Right and so.
But visual reminders statues ofJesus, you know, crosses, you
know and move them around in thehouse.
So somebody goes has thatalways been there?
(45:44):
And then it kind of brings up aconversation, a natural
conversation, while you'reeating dinner or cooking or, you
know, playing a game orwhatever.
But those visual reminders arepractical ways that we can
prioritize our faith just by ourenvironment, our home
environment, where we reside,right.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (46:02):
Count it, hashtag, count it.
I love it.
Well, this morning I had theprivilege of sponsoring a
breakfast that Father Nathan puton for men, and it's an awesome
thing.
You're doing it monthly, isthis right?
Speaker 2 (46:17):
Yes, it's called Wake Up, it's Time to Lead.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
Wake Up, it's time to lead.
Wake up, it's time to lead.
This is a men's breakfast atthe crack of dawn and I I heard
him myself tell all these menlisten, a super easy way to just
start your day in prayer is tojust get yourself a prayer book.
Prayer is to just get yourselfa prayer book, tear out the page
(46:45):
with the prayer on it and tapeit to your bathroom mirror.
Okay, so you're hearing thisfrom a priest saying it's okay,
tear up the prayer book.
It's important, you're going touse it.
God's going to be all over thatidea, he's going to be like yes
, it's in front of you, right,but you're.
You're on a mission to reallyhelp men rise up and lead their
families well and be grounded inthe faith as they do that.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
Well, the other day.
So I do a thing every yearcalled the Holy Halftime Show.
So during the Super Bowl Iactually do an alternatives, and
part of what we did is my teammade me watch I don't know six
or seven Super Bowl halftimeshow performances and I was so
sad and angry I couldn't make it.
(47:28):
The Madonna performance I madeit through one minute and 22
seconds before I could no longerwatch.
It was horrible, and most ofthem I didn't make any further
than three minutes.
So that's an example.
So I do on my own.
You can tune in to Bro HalftimeShow.
We should do it together withFamily as a Character, Jordan,
(47:49):
That'd be fun.
My point is that, like guys, ourculture is this is what your
kids are going to get.
Unless you do something.
It is not possible to sit backafter watching that filth.
And I didn't even make it.
I couldn't.
I was so shocked.
I was shocked beyond beliefwhat I saw, and that was super
(48:11):
half them show the wholecountry's watching.
I'm motivated and I want you tobe motivated too.
You guys can do this.
Whenever you don't lead, you'reallowing someone else to lead,
and when you make your faithprivate, you make atheism public
, and we just got to startsaying, no, I'm going to make
Jesus Christ public.
(48:32):
And how do I do that?
I do that with me living it,and then that connection with my
husband and my wife, that goeswith the kids, and as for me and
my house, we shall serve theLord.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
Amen.
That's so, so good.
What a great way to wrap upthis episode.
It's just inspiring to go outand glorify God by living our
married lives with children withjoy.
Folks, your life is not meantjust for you.
It is a life you knowwell-lived to be shared with
(49:08):
others, right and so, whereveryou go, bring your love of God
and your love of your spouse andyour family.
Even in the yucky times and thegnarly, you know, arguments we
have and the dark trenches,people can see it, they can
accept it and they can seethemselves in what you are
(49:31):
showing.
So don't be afraid to live yourlife out loud with your faith
as your power pack.
Right, father.
Speaker 2 (49:39):
Amen with your faith as your power pack right.
Speaker 1 (49:40):
Father Amen.
So good, so good.
Well, guys, check out FatherNathan.
He has all kinds of cool thingsgoing on at the St John
Institute.
I know one thing that Josh andI enjoy doing is Thursday
mornings very early, fatherNathan has a Zoom call that you
can jump on and don't worry, youdon't have to put your camera
on, matter of fact, he doesn'twant you to, because who wants
(50:01):
to be seen at four 30 in themorning?
It's such a distraction, butyou, you give the gospel and a
little reflection on it and it'sjust a beautiful time to
connect, like in person, youfeel like, with father Nathan.
So, if you like what you heardtoday, father, how can they get
signed up for to get that zoomlink?
Speaker 2 (50:23):
oh, uh, you would join our network.
So you go to our, our website,saintjohninstituteorg, that's
s-a-i-n-t.
John instituteorg, and thensign up to be a member.
Uh, it's free, it's just freemembership, and then that gets
you in our database database.
Basically, do whatever yougotta do to give us your email,
your phone number, and then youshould be getting texts from us
(50:45):
in an email and then we give youa link and then you come on to
the call.
That's every thursday at at 630 in every time zone.
So we do it four times.
We do it at 4 30 mountain time,5 30 mountain time, 6 30
mountain time and 7 30 mountain,because that's 630 am as it
goes across the country.
You can tune in to whatever oneyou want.
Speaker 1 (51:05):
It's awesome, such a good way to connect with you and
, like I said, he hostsleadership retreats and all
kinds of things for businesspeople in the local Denver area
and travels to speak and helpbusinesses and factories.
And you've got it going on.
You just you're kind of like StPaul.
You're just roaming around,just helping everybody wherever
(51:27):
you go and persevering throughyour suffering with a smile,
father.
So thank you for suffering welland for leading us very well.
It's been a pleasure to haveyou back on our show.
Speaker 2 (51:40):
God bless you and families of character.
Speaker 1 (51:42):
Thank you so much.
Parents, check out the shownotes.
We have links to our otherepisode with Father Nathan so
that you can figure out moreabout kind of practical ways you
can influence your kids so thatthey keep their faith when they
leave home.
And, like I said, be sure tocheck him out at
stjohninstituteorg.
(52:03):
Okay, we'll catch you onanother episode of the Families
of Character show real soon,take care.
Hey, welcome back parents.
Listen, today we have a returnguest on our show back by
popular demand, and the reasonthat we asked him back is
because we had such a greatdiscussion last time he was on
the show, but we just didn't gettime to dive into another topic
(00:20):
that you all have been askingabout, which is how in the world
, as busy parents, can weprioritize our faith and nurture
a personal relationship withJesus?
Because, let's face it, most ofus parents are running at the
speed of light.
We're dealing with diapersdinner.
(00:41):
We're dealing with diapersdinner dishes, we are the Uber
driver for our teens, like itnever stops, and it can really
feel impossible to make time forour own personal needs as
parents, and that even includesnurturing our souls through
prayer and reflection.
(01:02):
So I am very happy to welcomeback Father Nathan Cromley.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Thank you so much, jordan, glad to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Father Nathan is a Catholic priest, he's an author
and he's the president of the StJohn Institute in Denver,
colorado.
He's got a great passion forleadership.
He's also a speaker, writer,retreat leader and fellow
podcaster.
Father, last time you were onour show you gave a great talk
(01:34):
very practical about what weparents can do to positively
influence our kids while they'reat home, before they leave the
nest, so that they will keeptheir faith when they become
adults and are on their own.
And I've got to tell you somany people were delighted to
hear that your recommendationswere like way more practical
(01:56):
than they imagined coming from apriest.
So you're going to knock it outof the park today again and
give us some practical ideas ofjust how to prioritize our faith
as busy parents.
So, parents, if you have notlistened to that episode already
, please do so.
If you're a grandparentlistening to this, please listen
(02:17):
.
It was episode number 114.
And again, it was called how toPositively Influence your Kids
so that they Will Keep theirFaith when they Leave Home.
You can also just do a searchfor Nathan Cromley, father
Nathan, on our website and it'llpop right up for you.
Okay, let's get into this,father, because I just finished
(02:39):
this book that you wrote and Iknow some of you parents
listening are like Jordan.
That's so sweet you read a bookI don't have time.
I have a stack on my nightstandand have never gotten to him
because I'm busy.
It will be different and thisis a pretty small book and a
very practical and easy read.
So if you're watching onYouTube, here's the book Coached
(03:02):
by Paul the Apostle.
I'm holding it up.
It has a beautiful hand-drawnphoto of St Paul on the front
and it's just such an awesomebook.
What I found in it for parentsis there's these points to
consider regarding leading ourkids and making decisions when
(03:24):
we have no idea if it's theright decision or not, and then
also the fact that you weave inthere that there's going to be
trouble in your life and thetrouble isn't the trouble, but
the trouble is having troublewith having trouble.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
You've already good, good reader Jordan.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I'm telling you that point just just was driven home
in such a sweet way, becauseit's true, we suffer as parents,
we suffer as married couplesand we the boats always rocking,
but if you expect it and acceptit, your life is so much
different.
So this book is just chock fullof great things and, like I
(04:13):
said, a practical read forparents, even if you have young
kids to relate to.
So I just thought, father,maybe we could break up the talk
into like three little sections.
First, I want you to tell uswhy you wrote a book about St
Paul the Apostle, and how weparents can relate to and draw
inspiration from this greatsaint.
And then help us understand,from a priest perspective, why
(04:37):
it's important to develop a lifeof prayer, an interior life
where we come to know and loveJesus, even when we're already
so busy.
And then, finally, let's justtalk about some practical ways
that busy parents can actually,you know, kickstart a life of
prayer and kind of weaving theirfaith in their everyday life.
(04:59):
What do you think?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
I can't wait.
I love family as a character.
I love doing this podcast withyou, jordan.
I've been looking forward tothis, so thanks for having me
back and let's do somethinggreat for God here.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
Why did you write this book,Father, about St Paul the
Apostle?
Why St Paul?
Speaker 2 (05:20):
You know, because I'm trying to constantly solve a
problem, and that is that thefaith for most people is
beautiful and fantastic and notdirectly integrated in their
life.
So we put it in a box it'scalled Sunday Church, christmas
Eve services, maybe a confessionwhen you need it, and we live
(05:41):
the rest of our lives without it, and I'm frustrated with that.
I don't like that, I don'tthink that's the way it should
be, and I'm thinking through howdo we message this differently
so that people can, instead ofus taking you into the faith,
(06:10):
how do we bring the faith intoyou?
And St Paul is perfect for that, because in St Paul's life he
embodied a Christian messagethat became the source of a
culture, so he was able toinject Christianity and the
power of the resurrectiondirectly into the lives of the
Christians.
And so I started studying him,trying to understand, and one of
the things that I saw that wasso important and this is the
point I want to bring toeverybody is that your problems
(06:31):
are the starting point.
Your problems are startingpoint.
So your, your mission is thepurpose, and your mission is to
raise kids.
Yes, and it's to raise kids andstay married.
Okay, that's your mission.
So, as a priest, if I'm like,well, that's on the side, and
your mission is that you shouldbe doing daily holy hour, just
(06:52):
like the nuns.
You know we'll make a nun outof you.
You know I'm not beingrespectful, because to raise a
child, you have to think of allof the forms of development of a
child, their emotionaldevelopment, their emotional
development, their academicdevelopment, their social
development, at every moment ofevery day.
That's why God made mothers.
(07:13):
I mean some fathers can do it,because some fathers are awesome
, but most fathers cannot domotherhood, but mothers can.
And what does that mean?
Like you literally live hour byhour and somehow or other, god
made you guys happy with this.
Like again, for me, I'm likeGod bless you, because this
would be my death, I would notbe able to do this.
But hour by hour, how eachone's doing, as they evolve
(07:36):
through each day, hour and dayand year of their life, you're
watching this incredible thinghappen of their life.
You're watching this incrediblething happen as God, in the
circumstances of every person'sdaily thing, raises a human
being to perfection out of it.
Okay, that requires so manyother things from you.
(07:57):
That is not directly spiritualand that's okay.
First step is for you to sayGod's equipped me for this labor
called labor, and not just moms, but dads too, and the fan, and
then ups and downs of yourspouses and it's like it's just.
(08:17):
You can feel guilty and wepriests are really good at being
like.
We wish you were like us, cometo read spiritual reading and do
these things.
And I want to start off bysaying no, and that's why I
wrote this on St Paul, becauseSt Paul is all about how God
brings the faith, gives yougrace so that you can do your
(08:39):
mission in the world.
His focus on evangelizationmakes him the perfect saint to
talk about the laity, because alay person's very life is
supposed to be evangelization inand through what they do every
day.
Second reason is that st Paulhad a job.
St Paul had to work with hisown hands, so he had no money,
had to go to work every day.
(09:00):
He was a priest but but he waswithout a collar.
So I thought that him coachingus today would be just so
powerful.
Because our Christian laypeople need a saint who's real,
who's behind them and whodoesn't require them to lose
(09:21):
focus of their mission.
So that they can become saints,you need to become a saint in
your mission.
A priest is supposed to bebehind you.
You are supposed to be fightingfor Jesus in the world and the
priest is behind you, supportingyou, not pulling you out of the
battle, saying you should havebeen a priest like me, then
(09:42):
you'd be the perfect Christian.
No, and that's how it works.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Yes, thank you for giving us permission to let go
of the guilt of not doing allthe things at church or all the
holy hours of prayer.
I think was it in this bookthat you wrote about Mother
Teresa and how you know, maybe Iread it somewhere else.
But just like, sometimes, aswomen, we look to these, these
(10:09):
beautiful women that have gonebefore us, and we're like but
Mother Teresa, she took care ofall these very ill, sick,
disabled, hurting people in thestreets, and I'm only raising
three kids, and it's like, butMother Teresa was not called to
be a mother to, you know,through marriage.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Yeah, and you know what else?
St Paul had that opportunity aswell, because he was the gritty
, throwaway apostle.
He even says that the otherones all had their call and they
had their time with Jesus.
I didn't have time with Jesus,you know.
He's like I was called as one,cast away, uh, and and yet he
says I've worked harder than therest of them.
(10:50):
He actually writes this down.
And I've been in prison moreoften, I've been beaten more
often than they have.
But that proves what.
It proves that like saint paul,like you're, you're constantly
moving.
He moved 47 communities arewritten about in the New
Testament.
In 30 years.
That means he went to adifferent city more than once
(11:11):
every year.
You know, for 30 years he spentbetween six and 10 years in
prison.
Try being a monk in prison,like think about what he had to
do Then.
Just, he walked 10, 10 000miles in 30 years.
That's 3 000 miles a year.
If you want to do the math,well, it's three 300 miles a
year.
If you want to do the math,that's incredible amount of
(11:33):
journey every single year,non-stop on boats.
So I love him for that, becauseI mean you.
He was not a monk, he wasspeaking different languages.
He had to figure out hotels.
He had to take care of Timothy,take care of Titus, take care
of Luke, take care of everycommunity.
He writes about this.
He's like I'm like a mother,he's like to these communities,
(11:57):
and then his heart is ripped outby this, disappointed by this.
And in that mess I found aninspiration.
I'm like this is what parentsneed to look to, because the
other ones imagine how Paulcould have looked around.
He's like well, there's Peter,peter's having a great time,
he's with you know, in Jerusalem, the big city, and there goes
this guy and there goes that guy.
(12:17):
And for him to be able to saynone of you have worked as hard
as I have worked means that hishair was on fire.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Yes, his hair was on fire, like many of us mothers
and fathers.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
And so when he then does coaching right, your
mothers and fathers can listento that and be like, how did he
do it?
And that's what I wanted to putdown in that book.
I want to say this is how hedid it, you know, and the game,
and I'll get into this.
I know you got all kinds ofquestions, jordan.
I go on.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
I want you to.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
The game, guys, is inside.
You cannot change bath time andthe fact that your little one
is dyslexia you didn't count onthat and that your older one's
got a personality that clasheswith your husband oh, that's
great, you know, you didn'tcount on that and so now you got
(13:11):
this thing.
That's like taking up tons of.
You can't change that.
What you have to change is onthe inside game.
You saying why is that aproblem for me?
Like, oh, because I think I'msupposed to be this, or my
family should be this.
There's three words that youdon't find in the bible would
have, could have and should have.
Truly amazing, doesn't exist.
Whether.
Why does that exist?
Because it's not the languageof god.
I actually think it's thelanguage of the devil, because
(13:32):
what that does is it messes upyour inner game.
You're like, oh, I, then I?
What can I say?
Paul teaches us.
So what I do in the book andwhat I'm doing right now in your
life is by saying, like, allthat you think is so bad paul
has gone through, and paulteaches that it's the moment in
the weakness that god's going tobe glorified the most.
What you have to do is let goof the thought that you're
(13:56):
supposed to be the perfectfamily and that you're supposed
to be the perfect wife andyou're supposed to be the
perfect.
What does that mean?
Forget about that.
If your name isn't perfect,then you're never gonna be
that's right, that's your nameis bill and it's sally.
All right, so I have to be bill.
I have to be sally, which meansgod's equipped us for this.
Which is what?
And what is what am I supposedto be doing?
Glorifying him, all right.
(14:17):
So how do I do that?
I take the curve balls thatlife throws me and I knock them
out of the ballpark.
Yes, yes.
That's the inner game.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Yes, Okay, Would have , should have and could have
Never been in the Bible, Neverlike no.
Those are the words of theenemy.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Could you imagine if God was up in heaven?
Because this is what we imagine.
I'm going to tell you whatyou're imagining and it's false.
But not you Listen.
We all do this, we're all up.
God's up there in heaven, goinglike, oh my gosh.
Whenever you make god say, ohmy gosh, you know it's wrong.
He's like oh my gosh, don't doit, don't do it.
And then you're like I did it.
(14:55):
I got mad at my six-year-oldand I told them they were fat,
you know.
And so then you're like nowgod's up in heaven, like there's
nothing I can do.
And he turns to the BlessedMother.
The Blessed Mother's like whatdid she do?
She called her fat.
She called her six-year-old fat.
And then the Blessed Mother'slike what are we going to do?
God, our plan was totallydifferent and this lady screwed
(15:18):
it up.
And God's like I don't evenknow, it's out of control.
's I mean the disaster.
Like just give up, because Ican't help this person.
Like that's what we think.
And then we're like oh, stopfor a second.
The catholic doctrine is calledum uh, providence.
The catholic doctor ofprovidence means this god knew
(15:39):
before you were even born whatyou would say to your
six-year-old.
He knew, before you were evenborn, what you would say to your
six-year-old.
He knew, before you were evenborn, all the ways you would
screw up, and he knows all theways you're going to screw up,
because you cannot screw up hisplan.
His plan might be that well,I've allowed you to make a
harder life for yourself andyou've made a way that's going
(16:01):
to cause more suffering.
But I knew that and I meet youat every second with love and
all the grace that you need thatif you embrace me in this
moment, I can lead you forward.
And that's why he doesn't letus undo the past.
Paul had a terrible past,jordan.
(16:21):
If there's one guy who wants toget rid of his past, it's Paul.
You know this because threedifferent times he goes to
confession as he's writing.
So he's haunted over the yearsin his writings.
Three different times I didthese terrible things.
It was on his mind all the time.
Okay, he gives a speech.
He was like I'm a bad sinner.
It's like Paul, let it go.
He's like doesn't God let usundo our pasts, and I think it's
(16:46):
because he wants us to realizewe don't have to and actually,
in our providence he kneweverything and he's got it
figured out.
You cannot screw up his plan.
So what's our point?
Our point is, on the one hand,therefore, to do our very best,
to be humble and to get up everyday and to keep doing our best,
but better than one's best noone can do.
(17:08):
And so there, I then say thislittle phrase, and you can write
this down, take it to the bank.
I love this.
I put my past in God's mercy,my present in his love and my
future in his providence.
Past to his mercy, present tohis love.
Future is providence.
And I don't judge myself again.
(17:30):
I let it go, because God needsyou guys to lead and to be on
the top of your game, and that'swhat St Paul, that's what St
Paul teaches.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
That's why I wrote the book good, so good, and
you're saying do not judgeyourselves, like, move on.
You need to keep moving fromtown to town, from from ball
game to ball game.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
I mean if you look at the number of times paul failed
, and imagine if paul judgedhimself like I shouldn't have
said that in philippi when theythen caned me, dragged me
through the city square andkicked me out of the town.
So where does he go after that?
He goes to thessaloniki.
Guess what happens?
That's leaky.
Oops, he gets people jealous,don't you think even?
Oh no, I'm such an idiot, butthey.
(18:14):
So a mob is formed atthessaloniki and they drive him
to berea.
He goes to berea, does the samething in berea.
They did thessaloniki.
Another mob is formed, ina, andthey kick him out of Berea and
Paul's just like okay, you know,because he actually has this
great line in 1 Corinthians 15,that you can write this down and
put it on the refrigerator.
I am what I am by the grace ofGod and I love that.
(18:38):
That's a man who, of course,you judge yourself in the sense
you know you're weird, but youdon't condemn yourself.
Romans 6 the same saint paul.
There is no condemnation nowfor those who are in christ
jesus.
So stop condemning yourselves,you guys, and that little
condemnation that's in your mindall the time, saying like I
should be praying more, I shouldbe this more, I should well, I
(19:01):
mean like, stop that for asecond and be like my mission
was to raise, get my wife toheaven and to raise these kids.
And I do that with myspirituality.
But the secret is to put yourspirituality as your, your power
pack, and you keep your eyesforward and your hands busy on
(19:22):
what you got to do.
So the Lord gives us that onSundays, and then we're going to
talk about practical things.
I'm going to start already bythrowing this out there you guys
want to do one thing Put theday of the Lord in its place of
honor.
Now you don't have to go crazybecause you're like, well, it's
too much, all right if it's toomuch, but start with something
and let it grow.
Start with something.
Start with Sunday morning.
(19:43):
Do like this no appointments orshopping or anything until noon
.
Start with that, so we willwake up, we will do math.
Then what do we do?
I guess we have an hour and ahalf.
Oh no, you make BLTs for thekids and they're going to
remember that time that dadalways made those BLTs.
You put on some classical music.
Why don't you do some pipe anddrums from the Scottish marching
(20:07):
bands?
Make your kids a memory.
They're like dad made us not beon screens.
He made us listen to that goofydad music.
They love dad music, right.
And then they're listening tothe pipe and drums.
You're making them BLTs.
And it was all because you gavethem that time.
Nothing till noon.
That is suddenly like that.
One day day, those one fourthset of hours will equip you
(20:30):
spiritually for the whole week.
Now, there's more to it thanthat.
I'm just trying to make itreally easy for you, but the
principle is what I want to get,and that is that my, my mission
is my family.
My mission is my kids, kids, mywife, my spouse.
Therefore, jesus wants me to begoing on date nights and
(20:52):
getting my hair done, and Jesuswants me to be visiting with my
stupid hair lady that does myhair and tipping her, and all
these things that you think aresecular and therefore bad are
secular and therefore goodBecause you're infusing them
with God's love.
Let the priest be the priest.
Now again, some of you areextremely well-motivated and you
(21:14):
want to go crazy and pray tons.
Go for it If you can, pray allyou can.
My message is for those who arein the battle right now and who
then feel guilty because theycompare themselves to the others
, who are usually over 70 right,totally.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
there's never an apples to apples comparison.
So why do we do it?
It's craziness, but you'reright, it's the work of the
enemy and we have to torecognize when that hamster gets
on the wheel and kick him offand be like not today, satan, no
, we've got our faith-filledpower pack strapped on our back
here and we are going eyesforward and execute right, like
(21:55):
our mission is our family.
I love how you say that becauseit reminds us, with the buzz
and the craziness of the worldand all the things we can be
doing, we have to remember toprioritize one, our marriage,
and two, our kids, and that thisis our vocation.
We have been called to marriageand family life and that's got
(22:19):
to be our target.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
That means barbecues and barbecue grill cleaning and
propane tank buying and then allof that and that takes up your
time.
You guys, Be realistic aboutthat, but also be realistic that
it's your mission field.
So when you're at the storerunning the propane tank, smile
at the person behind you knowyou're on call and on duty there
(22:42):
and that's where yourspirituality comes in, because
then it feeds that, it gives youthe energy and the knowledge to
be his instrument there, andthat's how it's supposed to work
.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Yes, and prioritizing our faith.
As a busy parent, like you said, it might mean when you've got
four kids hanging off the cartat Costco that you know and
you're swinging around gettingall the samples, that you smile
at the people that are lookingat you, nuts for bringing your
kids in there and just goinglike, isn't this fun?
(23:13):
This is a crazy life, but thisis ours.
You know that you are joyfulabout the fact that you have
brought life into the world andthat you're doing this thing
right, this family living thing.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
You know, Jordan, I think you're absolutely right
and I want to emphasize, kind oflike swing to the other side
there because, on the same wayas I was saying, look, you got
to be into the secular world andgo for it.
It will consume you unless youprioritize your faith.
So if you are going into and ifyou're going in underwater,
(23:46):
right, and you don't have ascuba thing, you will last two
minutes and then you will die.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
In the same way, if you're going into parenthood and
the gym classes and the balletschool and you're driving around
like an Uber driver from oneplace to the next and you have,
you don't have, you don't have arosary, you don't have a book
on tape.
By the way, my book is onaudiobooks, yes.
So if people are like I've goteight books already, I just
laugh.
I'm like this one's not even onyour shelf.
(24:14):
Just get it on audiobooks anddownload it.
But if you don't have thosethings going for you, well, the
secular world will dominate youbecause it's demanding.
It's almost just like anotherchild Feed me, feed me, feed me,
feed me.
And so prioritizing your faithmeans that it is number one, not
in terms of time, but in termsof importance.
(24:44):
But you absolutely have to.
As a priest, do you know that Icould fill up every single
second of every single day withjust doing priestly ministry?
And do you know what wouldhappen if I did that?
I would stop being a priest.
Yes, it's as simple as that.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Recipe for burnout.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Well, if you're a Christian mother, you can fill
up your day with just being amother, but if you don't put in
Christ, then you won't be aChristian mother.
You will fail, you'll just be amom and you'll be someone
else's mom instead of Jesus'smom.
So, prioritizing your faith,remember this, though it's the
(25:15):
importance, meaning it could benot the size, it could be small,
but you must not overlook it.
When you put those together,now you become, it's the recipe
for happiness.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Dynamite.
That's where true joy comes, atthe intersection of your faith
and your vocation, your, yourcall to motherhood or fatherhood
and this married life.
Right, so good, and Iappreciate you saying that, like
you know, the priority shouldbe God, your relationship with
God and your fundamental moralbeliefs.
(25:47):
Like that should be what we oh,I said the word, should I
caught?
Speaker 2 (25:52):
myself.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
That is where we draw strength from, and that is is
just the well that we go to tomake decisions about whether the
nine-year-old gets Snapchat orwhether we support our you know
11-year-old.
In having a girlfriend, right,we have to have a foundation of
faith.
But the amount of time, justbecause it's priority one
(26:16):
doesn't mean that the amount oftime we spend at the church or
in prayer or with the rosary inour hand is greater than the
time we spend with our spouse orour kids.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
It's just, it's got to be the foundation from what
and I want to just say I meanevery couple's different.
There might be some coupleslistening that are like, well,
we do so much prayer and it's sogreat.
Well, good, good for you.
I'm just saying like you shouldalways do as much as you can.
You should always do as much as, but but when you can't or if
your dynamic is not that way,it's also possible to do this,
(26:52):
okay.
So each couple's got to takewhat I'm saying and then apply
it in their circumstances andand that's and those
circumstances are always goingto be different.
So I definitely want to concurwith with what you're saying
there, because it's important,because, at the same time, if
you don't do it and you just say, well, we're going to love God
(27:13):
at Mass on Sundays, I'm going towarrant you that eventually you
won't even be going to Mass onSundays, because what you've
done is you've made your faithlife so irrelevant.
You need, every single day, tofind a way to incarnate the fact
that you are living that dayfor God.
Just like and I'm a big fan ofthis Jordan, and maybe I'm the
(27:35):
only one, maybe I'm eveninappropriate as a priest I
think that a husband and wifeshould kiss each other once a
day.
Yes, and I tell the husbandswhen you come home from work,
first thing you should do iskissing your wife.
Why, if, from work, first thingyou should do is kissing your
wife?
Why, if you work, first thingyou should be doing look for
each other.
Why?
Because it's the reason whyyou're living that day.
It's it's it's it puts youright there.
(27:56):
It's like we're celebratingsomething that's bigger than the
tasks and the stresses.
It's called love, and I'm goingto show you that love once a
day in a way that's over andbeyond a task list.
So you put that on your tasklist.
I must kiss my wife and tellher I'm going to knock this day
(28:17):
out of the ballpark.
Okay, in the same way that youdo that once a day, you need to
kiss your God.
So what does that mean?
It means adore your God.
There's a time in every daywhere you're like you know, in
the Christian tradition, we lookat the day as a lifetime.
You're born.
When you wake up, you gothrough the strengths, your
(28:37):
strength starts to fade and thenyou remit yourself in total
surrender as you sleep again.
It's always been how theChristians have seen their day
as a little microcosm of a life,right?
Well, if that's the case, thenyou only live for today, which
means today I must honor my God.
So of course, you can go todaily mass.
(28:58):
Go to daily mass Absolutely.
If you can do your roads, youdo your roads.
You should, you should try,yeah, absolutely.
But you can also make it assimple as having a crucifix
right next to your light switchin your bedroom and before you
leave that bedroom every morning, you kiss the cross.
I think it's the neatest thing,people, we're not physical
(29:19):
enough, guys.
And so then we're like I'm justkiss the cross.
If you kiss a crucifix once aday, can you imagine what that
would do for your heart?
And then you go, I'm so sorryabout this.
And then, before you know it,you're praying Okay, great, but
you haven't even left the dooryet.
So if the kids come in and wakeyou up and they're like make me
breakfast and they pull youinto the kitchen, you stop, you
(29:39):
go guys.
Mommy hasn't kissed her Jesusyet.
And you lean in there and youkiss that Jesus and you say this
is all for you.
That's prioritizing your faith.
Yes, it's that little thing,but it'll keep everything in
line.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Yes, I have this saying I used to use when I
homeschooled hashtag count it,like that counts Kissing your
cross.
It may take five seconds, butit orients your mind to your
whole purpose.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Your whole purpose.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Kiss your husband, kiss your Jesus, every day, I
love that Father and I have tothank you just publicly on the
air for something that yousuggested at a date night event
that I attended about a year ago.
So you said you know, gentlemen, are you praying with your
wives?
And they were kind of like, uh,of course we are.
(30:33):
You know, yeah, we say prayerswith our kids at night, or
whatever.
Like no, no, are you prayingwith your wife each day?
Just the two of you, like you,gave just a really simple idea,
planted the seed for guys tojust find your wife before you
leave for work that day and justhold her hands, close your eyes
(30:53):
and pray for her in some simpleway.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Both hands.
Yes, why?
Because you can.
I mean, you know yes.
And then you say the Our Fatheryes, and the husband needs to
start it, and so, wives, let him.
All he has to say is two wordsOur Father.
She'll finish the rest.
That's right.
I remember you saying that theyjump in, they're like I don't
know, but you don't add a HailMary, you don't do it in Latin,
(31:21):
you don't even do the sign ofthe cross.
You, you don't even do the signof the cross.
You can go for it, but youdon't have to.
What's important is that thetwo of you are there, and the
reason you say the Our Father isfor your family, not for each
other, because then, when you'refighting, you're like I could
never, how could you pray for me, all this stuff?
Hey, we're doing this for thefamily and I entrust it to the
(31:42):
Father because it's the way Godstructured the thing, and it
gives the man a chance to say Iam the husband and the father
who has a responsibility here.
And, like I say, it's only twowords, but it's so important
that we do it everyone and youget to do this.
Remember, this is a privilege.
(32:03):
This is not even somethingwhere you're supposed to be like
.
I had another thing you have todo.
You get to pray with yourspouse.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
And invite God into your relationship each day, wow.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Huge.
It's huge and it's easy.
I timed it.
It takes 22 seconds, Jordan.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
That's all.
It takes 22 seconds.
Well, we have expanded on thatover here at the Langdon
household.
So what Josh does is he findsme before he leaves in the
morning.
I'll stand up wherever I am andwe hold hands and he prays for
something specific for me thathe knows I'm going through.
That day like that's coming upor something that he's heard me
probably complain about the daybefore.
That's going to be hard, orit's just a little bit of
(32:45):
suffering that I'm going through, and so he'll just pray aloud
about that thing and ask God tojust help help Jordan today as
she navigates this, this andthis.
And I have never, ever, felt sopursued by my husband in my
lifetime.
We've been married 20 years andyou think, oh, he's going to
take me to beautiful restaurantsand we're going to go on these
(33:08):
amazing dates and he's going tobuy me flowers, or maybe it's
going to be.
That one trip that he surprisedme with Praying for your wife
is bigger and better than all ofthat, gentlemen.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
So if you're listening, Men need to hear that
.
Jordan.
So you're saying that the wifeactually wants that?
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Yes, yes, and I tell women because at first I was
like oh, aren't you going to saysuch and such?
And it's like zip it, ladies,Don't say a word, just receive
your husband's prayer for you.
Receive it, because we don't dothat enough.
We're always adding toeverything or criticizing the
way somebody does something.
(33:46):
Or can you just add this?
And it's like no, just whateveryour husband says for you,
consider it a gift and praisehim for doing it.
So he keeps it up.
It's the best way to feelpursued for a woman.
And guys are like 90 seconds aday is all it takes for you to
be that happy.
(34:06):
And I'm like, yeah, you mightbe thinking all kinds of
different things about 90seconds a day, but how about 90
seconds of prayer?
It's like you can do it anytimeand it's going to be a huge
deposit in the love bait Amen,practical way to prioritize your
faith.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
Yes, and see how simple it was.
But it's because it gives youthe perspective of this is what
it's all for.
And that's the danger of beinginvolved in the world is that
you forget what you're evendoing it for.
And that can happen for a day,two days, but if it happens for
two, three months, you're now sodisoriented that other things
(34:47):
fill in those holes and beforeyou know it, you're living a
lifestyle that's not evenChristian.
And that's why you anchor it.
You anchor it your Sunday mass,everyone is not optional.
It's not optional.
And I don't care about thesoccer team, and I played soccer
my whole life.
I'm a soccer kid.
(35:07):
I never missed mass once for asoccer thing, and that was back
in the day when they stillrespected it.
So today, father, we have to.
I want you to like.
You got it.
It's not optional, which means,well then Sonny can't play on
the travel team because thecoach says then you know what
you're doing him a big favorthat's right honestly, in all my
(35:27):
years I've met one professionalsoccer player one.
You know how many millions ofsoccer.
Your kid's not gonna make it tothe professional soccer level
and even if he did, you probablywouldn't want him to be there.
That's right.
But like, what are you doing?
You know you got to.
So Sundays were the key thing.
(35:49):
I started by Sunday morning,sunday anything, sunday rosary,
with the family throw it intheir chest on Sundays, let them
complain, and mom and dad, atleast we're going to do it, but
that's one way.
And then in the typical day.
I love what you said andthere's other tips like that,
but all of it.
The perspective here, guys, isyou have to prioritize it, but
(36:12):
you don't have to spend a hugeamount of time on it.
Then again, if you can, you.
I met some people that they onething men do.
I think this is a neat thing.
Women do it too.
I just know only the men thatdo it.
But what I've heard men do isthey wake up once a week for
holy hour and so they'll go inat four in the morning,
something hard, because they'relike why should we let little
(36:33):
old ladies do the holy hours inthe middle of the night.
That should be a man thing.
And so they're like.
Therefore, they take the hardhour 2 am, 3m.
They love it because it's asacrifice, sure, and yet it's
this time where they're alonewith God.
And then I've heard their wivesbe like I'm just so happy
because that's his time withJesus and it anchors her and it
(36:54):
makes her feel like my husbandknows what he's doing, like he's
with Jesus.
He's got spirituality, you know,and they'll bring their Bible
to bring.
He's got spirituality, you know, and they'll bring their Bible
to bring my book.
They'll bring anything they gotand they'll pick their rosary.
But like, they do it every weekand it becomes this anchor that
now you know what some of themare doing.
They're bringing their kidswith them because their oldest
son wants to be like dad.
(37:16):
That was amazing.
Two AM in the morning he's withdad at that holy hour in the
middle of the night, and thatwill be something that they'll
never forget the rest of theirlife.
And I'll be darn that boy whenhe's grown up he'll be doing it.
And it was all because you dadsdid something simple and moms
you can do it too.
Same thing, but like, do it.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
That's what I'm saying yes, and invite your
child along, because if youleave the house at two in the
morning while they're sleeping,and they never have a clue that
you're at a chapel praying withGod for one hour, they don't
know that that's something thatthey can do.
They don't know that they couldaccess a chapel in the middle
of the night somewhere and havea special little conversation
(37:55):
with God, right?
Speaker 2 (37:57):
I used to do it when I was a teenager.
I met the Lord when I was 13.
And when I was 17, 18, I'd begoing to the adoration chapel,
sometimes in the middle of thenight, because I loved God and I
found him there.
Don't don't think yourteenagers are too, too young to
start praying.
I was going to daily mass mysophomore year, my junior year,
as soon as I could drive, I wasdriving a daily mass and serving
(38:20):
mass before I went to the highschool.
If you got religion in a kid,foster it.
Don't stifle the religiosity ofa teen.
It might seem crazy, it mightbe over the top.
Well, you know temporary, youknow guided.
So it's, you know.
But at this, if it's genuine,that's where you want to put,
you want to allow that, becauseJesus is working in that soul
(38:44):
and great things can happen inthat.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Yes, makes me think of retreats and camps that they
go on with their school, youknow, their classmates or youth
group and things like that, andit's a beautiful thing for them.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
John Paul II said when they asked him, when was
the first time you thought aboutbeing a priest?
And he said it was when I wakeup in the morning as a teenager
and I'd see my dad kneeling inprayer.
When he woke up, that's when herealized I want to be a priest.
Why?
Because he saw his dad doing it.
We have in the archdiocese ofDenver a summer camp called
(39:21):
Annunciation Heights.
Bring your kids up there for aweekend, rent a cabin and be
religious and have fun out inthe wilderness.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
It all happens together.
It's not separate, right.
It's just this beautiful blendof nature and God's beauty and,
you know, some great lessons andall the things together
combined Like.
I just want to underscore thepoint that you know, it's not
just okay, we did our thing, wewent to church on Sunday, and so
(39:52):
everybody, you know, everybodyknows how important God is in
our lives, because every Sundaywe go to mass or we go to church
or we go to you know whereverwe're going but to to bring that
into your natural everyday life.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
That's the beauty of what you get to do as parents.
Priests are different.
I'm like come to the silentretreat where we will be totally
artificial from the normalworld, leave the world behind.
You guys, don't do that, whichis powerful in its own way,
because you're there when that12 year old has to brave the
cold water in the lake and youget to say this is your
(40:31):
coming-of-age ritual, whoevercan swim across?
All that silly stuff.
It's not silly, it's actuallythe truth of that little kid's
life, where he and then who'sright there?
Dad, and who is dad?
A Christian man?
Who's mom?
She's someone who loves Jesusand loves me, and you bring,
(40:52):
like needing, the faith into thefabric of that human being.
That's why it's so beautifuland it'll happen automatically
if you yourselves are anchored.
You anchor yourself in the Lordand then you let it loose and
he will guide you through thatwhole rest of the way.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
Yes, that just makes me think.
You know you can't love whatyou don't know.
You don't know.
And so if you want your kids toknow Christ you want your kids
to be Christian you yourselfhave to fill yourself with the
(41:33):
love of God and you have toallow yourself to be loved by
God.
And that means, as a busy mom,being okay with you know,
getting up 15 minutes beforeyour kids do so that you can
read a special devotional that'smade for mothers in silence, or
joining a Bible study while youstill have little kids, and
actually asking your husband forpermission.
(41:54):
We do this in married life.
Would you mind taking care ofthe kids on Wednesday morning so
that I can go to this Biblestudy?
This is really important for me.
You know what Husband supportyour wives doing that and vice
versa.
Your husband wants to go to,you know, men's retreat.
It's going to be a wholeweekend.
You can't imagine taking careof the kids that long.
Just keep them alive for threedays.
(42:15):
It's going to fill him up somuch and you're going to have
this guy come back and he'sgoing to be changed in some
small or big way, and you mightnot see it at the beginning, but
it's worth investing in thesetypes of things as individuals
right, so that we can come toknow and love God and it will
just overflow out from us intoour kids.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
I want to give you another practical tip, because
you're into practical tips here.
Mirrors are powerful things.
I was just in a home of afamily three days ago and they
had stick it notes with Biblepassages, prayers, things like
Jesus, I love you, lord, havemercy, taped to the the mirror.
(43:00):
They had a big old mirror, waytoo big, I mean.
None of us are that big, sokeep your corner for yourself.
But the rest, put something sothat when you're getting ready I
found myself there was washingmy hands, and I'm sitting there
reading this, uplifting Biblepassages.
And you do that every.
I think how many times you goto the bathroom?
And if every single time it wasan encounter with God, it's
(43:21):
because on those mirrors andthat's such an amazing thing,
also for, like little publicityfor the teens, because they
can't take it down.
Yeah well, you're putting allkinds of things.
God made me beautiful, you know.
Boom, thank you god for makingme beautiful.
You put all those things upthere, and so now you're both
controlling the familyenvironment, but you're also
taking a need to respite,because at the length of time it
(43:43):
takes you to wash your handscould be one Hail Mary or one
Jesus.
I offer you my sufferings, butwe need to help.
That's why, taping prayers tomirrors, I should start a
ministry.
We should sell this Jordan.
We can make the tapable prayersand get them on up there for
people.
Because, guys, it's the littlethings, that's what I'm saying,
(44:05):
but like it's the focus andthat's what we need.
The most?
Speaker 1 (44:09):
Yes, and you're talking about habit stacking.
Take something you already doevery day you wash your hands.
You at least brush your teeth,hopefully once.
So put it right by the mirrorwhere you're brushing your teeth
, right.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
It's one of those, those automatic brushes.
You're in for three or fourminutes, that's right.
Someone gave me one of thosethings and I'm just like this is
crazy.
So now that you put up, youcould put three or four big old
prayers up there and you gothrough your routine as you're
doing your like automatictoothbrush.
Speaker 1 (44:37):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
What else are you doing during that time?
Speaker 1 (44:39):
You know, that's right, that's right.
You mentioned also, just youknow, having a crucifix or
crossing every room.
That is such a visual reminderand, as busy parents, I know
that if you don't see it it'snot on your mind because you're
going and blowing so fast thatit's just you move past things.
Also, in the same vein, I had asign up in our kitchen,
(45:00):
probably for an entire year, andit said what can I do to help?
And it had these little ideasto just draw to mind for our
kids.
Hey, how can I help around here?
What is it that I can do today?
Well, guess what?
After about a month, no one sawit.
Right, you have to like becreative as parents and you have
to take the sign from its usualplace, where everybody stared
(45:23):
at it for 30 days and nowthey're desensitized to it, and
you have to move it to adifferent place in the kitchen
where you have to change up thecolor of the sticky note on
their bathroom mirror becausethey're looking right past it
again.
Right and so.
But visual reminders statues ofJesus, you know, crosses, you
know and move them around in thehouse.
So somebody goes has thatalways been there?
(45:44):
And then it kind of brings up aconversation, a natural
conversation, while you'reeating dinner or cooking or, you
know, playing a game orwhatever.
But those visual reminders arepractical ways that we can
prioritize our faith just by ourenvironment, our home
environment, where we reside,right.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (46:02):
Count it, hashtag, count it.
I love it.
Well, this morning I had theprivilege of sponsoring a
breakfast that Father Nathan puton for men, and it's an awesome
thing.
You're doing it monthly, isthis right?
Speaker 2 (46:17):
Yes, it's called Wake Up, it's Time to Lead.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
Wake Up, it's time to lead.
Wake up, it's time to lead.
This is a men's breakfast atthe crack of dawn and I I heard
him myself tell all these menlisten, a super easy way to just
start your day in prayer is tojust get yourself a prayer book.
Prayer is to just get yourselfa prayer book, tear out the page
(46:45):
with the prayer on it and tapeit to your bathroom mirror.
Okay, so you're hearing thisfrom a priest saying it's okay,
tear up the prayer book.
It's important, you're going touse it.
God's going to be all over thatidea, he's going to be like yes
, it's in front of you, right,but you're.
You're on a mission to reallyhelp men rise up and lead their
families well and be grounded inthe faith as they do that.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
Well, the other day.
So I do a thing every yearcalled the Holy Halftime Show.
So during the Super Bowl Iactually do an alternatives, and
part of what we did is my teammade me watch I don't know six
or seven Super Bowl halftimeshow performances and I was so
sad and angry I couldn't make it.
(47:28):
The Madonna performance I madeit through one minute and 22
seconds before I could no longerwatch.
It was horrible, and most ofthem I didn't make any further
than three minutes.
So that's an example.
So I do on my own.
You can tune in to Bro HalftimeShow.
We should do it together withFamily as a Character, Jordan,
(47:49):
That'd be fun.
My point is that, like guys, ourculture is this is what your
kids are going to get.
Unless you do something.
It is not possible to sit backafter watching that filth.
And I didn't even make it.
I couldn't.
I was so shocked.
I was shocked beyond beliefwhat I saw, and that was super
(48:11):
half them show the wholecountry's watching.
I'm motivated and I want you tobe motivated too.
You guys can do this.
Whenever you don't lead, you'reallowing someone else to lead,
and when you make your faithprivate, you make atheism public
, and we just got to startsaying, no, I'm going to make
Jesus Christ public.
(48:32):
And how do I do that?
I do that with me living it,and then that connection with my
husband and my wife, that goeswith the kids, and as for me and
my house, we shall serve theLord.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
Amen.
That's so, so good.
What a great way to wrap upthis episode.
It's just inspiring to go outand glorify God by living our
married lives with children withjoy.
Folks, your life is not meantjust for you.
It is a life you knowwell-lived to be shared with
(49:08):
others, right and so, whereveryou go, bring your love of God
and your love of your spouse andyour family.
Even in the yucky times and thegnarly, you know, arguments we
have and the dark trenches,people can see it, they can
accept it and they can seethemselves in what you are
(49:31):
showing.
So don't be afraid to live yourlife out loud with your faith
as your power pack.
Right, father.
Speaker 2 (49:39):
Amen with your faith as your power pack right.
Speaker 1 (49:40):
Father Amen.
So good, so good.
Well, guys, check out FatherNathan.
He has all kinds of cool thingsgoing on at the St John
Institute.
I know one thing that Josh andI enjoy doing is Thursday
mornings very early, fatherNathan has a Zoom call that you
can jump on and don't worry, youdon't have to put your camera
on, matter of fact, he doesn'twant you to, because who wants
(50:01):
to be seen at four 30 in themorning?
It's such a distraction, butyou, you give the gospel and a
little reflection on it and it'sjust a beautiful time to
connect, like in person, youfeel like, with father Nathan.
So, if you like what you heardtoday, father, how can they get
signed up for to get that zoomlink?
Speaker 2 (50:23):
oh, uh, you would join our network.
So you go to our, our website,saintjohninstituteorg, that's
s-a-i-n-t.
John instituteorg, and thensign up to be a member.
Uh, it's free, it's just freemembership, and then that gets
you in our database database.
Basically, do whatever yougotta do to give us your email,
your phone number, and then youshould be getting texts from us
(50:45):
in an email and then we give youa link and then you come on to
the call.
That's every thursday at at 630 in every time zone.
So we do it four times.
We do it at 4 30 mountain time,5 30 mountain time, 6 30
mountain time and 7 30 mountain,because that's 630 am as it
goes across the country.
You can tune in to whatever oneyou want.
Speaker 1 (51:05):
It's awesome, such a good way to connect with you and
, like I said, he hostsleadership retreats and all
kinds of things for businesspeople in the local Denver area
and travels to speak and helpbusinesses and factories.
And you've got it going on.
You just you're kind of like StPaul.
You're just roaming around,just helping everybody wherever
(51:27):
you go and persevering throughyour suffering with a smile,
father.
So thank you for suffering welland for leading us very well.
It's been a pleasure to haveyou back on our show.
Speaker 2 (51:40):
God bless you and families of character.
Speaker 1 (51:42):
Thank you so much.
Parents, check out the shownotes.
We have links to our otherepisode with Father Nathan so
that you can figure out moreabout kind of practical ways you
can influence your kids so thatthey keep their faith when they
leave home.
And, like I said, be sure tocheck him out at
stjohninstituteorg.
(52:03):
Okay, we'll catch you onanother episode of the Families
of Character show real soon,take care.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!