March 25, 2025 • 50 mins
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Jordan and a very special guest, her husband Josh, explore the profound impact of a father's spiritual leadership on family faith formation, sharing personal stories of their 20-year journey balancing marriage, parenting, and religious practice.
In this episode you'll hear:
• Surprising research shows father-led spiritual leadership results in 44% of children continuing their faith into adulthood
• Josh's personal definition of manhood centers on leading, protecting, and providing with virtue
• Balancing men's spiritual growth activities with family responsibilities creates initial tension but long-term benefits
• Allowing family to experiment with different church attendance patterns demonstrated flexible leadership
• Both spouses play critical leadership roles, especially when one stumbles
• Consistency in faith practices, not perfection, makes the greatest impact on children
If your husband isn't taking spiritual leadership, don't wait - lead the family in faith while always inviting him to join without pressure or guilt. "I trust that you can lead us" may be the most empowering words a wife can say to activate her husband's leadership potential.
The Thriving Family Accelerator provides an easy, 3-step process to lower stress, parent as a united team, and enjoy a true friendship with your spouse & relationship with your kids. Sign up now for this live parent coaching with proven methods for positively engaging your family and redistributing the mental load.
Give $20 to keep the mic on. We're a 501 c(3) non-profit and produce this show for parents around the globe.
Discover the secrets to building a connected + thriving family. All you'll need is a few minutes of your week—it's easy!
Looking for things to combat boredom and bolster growth in your kids? Check out our Tame the Tech Bundle and the Best Me I Can Be Journal!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey there, welcome back to our show or, if you're
new, welcome to the Families ofCharacter show.
We're so glad to have youtuning in today.
I have a pretty awesome guesthere in studio with me today.
I've known this cat for 25years or so and been married to
him for 20 years and haveparented three children with him
(00:24):
.
So welcome to the show, myhusband, josh Langdon.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Well, thank you very much for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
It's been a minute since we've done an episode
together.
I think the last one werecorded was when we were in
Scotland and our son was incharge of our maybe 16-year-old
son was in charge of our twolittle ones and ripped the door
off of our car.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Yeah, I'm glad that we're home and all cars are
parked, as far as we know rightnow.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Yes.
So if you haven't checked outthat episode, we'll be sure that
that episode is linked in theshow notes.
Quite the story of, you know,just trusting your children and
then rolling with whateverhappens while you're away.
So today we want to talk aboutbeing the spiritual leader of
(01:12):
your family as a man, and sothis is something that I have
found to be.
One of the most attractivetraits about you over the 20
years of our marriage is justwhen you started taking over as
leader of our family in the wayof spiritual direction and just
(01:33):
being the one to kind of get usto church and to share your
faith with us, like I thought,you know, it'd be so many other
things that would attract me toyou, but that hands down has
been the most awesome thing inour marriage, and just for me to
experience, as a mother,witnessing your leadership in
(01:58):
faith to our kids.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
So Well, darn it.
I wish I would have known that20 years ago.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
I know right, they don't tell you when you first
get married, like hey, darn it.
I wish I would have known that20 years ago.
I know Right, they don't tellyou when you first get married,
like hey no manual no manual,you know.
So you just get to bumblingaround when you first get
married and and have kids andand hope for some positive
influences in your life and andtry to listen to the wisdom of
other people, and I think that'show we all get started in all
(02:24):
this right.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
I believe so.
Yeah, it's a discovery processfor sure.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Yes, absolutely, and it's been a journey for us, for
sure.
I remember when we had littleones I think it was two little
ones at the time and we had justmoved from Texas to Colorado,
and we had just moved from Texasto Colorado and we joined a
church and one of the thingsthat you were kind of excited
about was getting involved withmen's groups at the church and
it was a beautiful thing.
I remember thinking, ohwonderful, he wants to be part
(02:59):
of these men's groups.
This is, isn't this, what everywoman wants their, their
husband and the father of theirkids to be, you know, growing in
their faith.
But then the reality hit whenyou would leave early in the
morning to go to the church tomeet these men, and it was like
a school day and I was trying toget the kids ready and feed
(03:20):
them breakfast and get all theirthings ready for school.
And I remember having thisresentment towards you and I was
thinking, okay, I knowrationally that this is a good
idea, that this is a good thing,but I'm also kind of upset that
I'm at home beating my brainsout trying to get the kids
together and get them off toschool.
So is this a good thing?
Is this a good time for him tobe, you know, doing these things
(03:43):
in the morning hours when Icould really use his help.
And so it was a real internalstruggle for me, because I think
what weighed out was, yes, youought to support him in being
part of these groups and growingin his faith and kind of suck
it up, Jordan.
And so that's just what I did,and there's no judgment, you
(04:04):
know, on where you are with withthis in your own home if you're
listening.
But for me I just thought, okay, I guess it's.
I got to kind of grin and bearit and trust that this is going
to, you know, produce fruit downthe road, and so I don't think
I did a great job of it.
Like I probably was a littlebit rude to you in the mornings
before you headed off, because Iwas just thinking of all the
(04:26):
things I was going to have to doon my own, and so I appreciate
you, not just, I don't know,getting upset with me or or or.
You know you were seem to beunderstanding.
But a thing that I wanted toknow is you could tell it was a
struggle for me.
So what made you just pushthrough and continue doing that,
(04:49):
even though you knew I was kindof struggling at home with the
kids while you were away.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Yeah, there's probably a part of me that
should have communicated withyou better about what I was
doing in these men's groups.
I wasn't just going there andhaving coffee although coffee is
a part of any good men's grouphas coffee, especially at six
o'clock in the morning.
So it was probably on me, theonus was on me, to actually
(05:15):
communicate that.
Yeah, you know, I'm going thereand I'm doing spiritual work,
like I'm trying to make myselfbetter.
I'm trying to make myself abetter follower of Christ.
I'm trying to make myself abetter follower of Christ.
I'm trying to make myself abetter spouse, a better dad, you
know, a better friend, allthose other things.
So it was probably it probablyshould have been something that
I really communicated to you.
(05:36):
It wasn't just coffee anddonuts, but it was spiritual,
the spiritual work that I wasgoing to do, which probably made
it easier to push through,because I know, you know, going
there, talking to the guys,having the content presented to
us, it really allowed me to kindof look internally and see how
I could be better.
(05:56):
So it wasn't so much about justgetting out of the house and
make sure that you know, I wasnot here when the kids got up,
but it was more along the linesof hey, I'm, I'm, I'm, working,
you know, not work at work, butI'm still working spiritually to
, to grow.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
and that's probably the easiest part of it was was
getting up and and going to thechurch at six well, and I feel
like I knew in my heart like youwouldn't be telling me you're
going to this men's group justso that you could go get a free
breakfast, like I didn't knowthat you, you know that was
something that had been missingfor you for some years, just
(06:34):
because we were kind of living astray life, you know, after
college, and kind of wanderingaround, kind of trying to find
our place, and and so I knowthat that's what you were doing.
And at the same time I struggled, right.
I was like, man, I hope I getto go to a women's group someday
, you know, like I can't waittill my kids are old enough,
(06:55):
where you know I can participatein something like this myself,
because I could see that it washelping you directly.
And I guess there was a part ofme too, as a mom that was kind
of stressed out and exhaustedall the time, that was also
saying like I don't necessarilysee the fruits of this right now
(07:17):
, you know, and so that made ithard for me to support you
continuing to do it, because Ifelt like it was.
I was so overwhelmed that Iwanted, like a one-to-one, you
know, return on the investment,Like every every Friday.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
It was better on Saturday yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Like you went Friday morning and so we should have a
really awesome Friday evening.
Or you went to a silent retreatone time and you came home and
I was like I can't wait for himto come home, this is going to
be so good.
And then you're like can we goon a walk?
And we walked a mile togetherand fought the whole time and I
thought this is just a joke.
These retreats and this stuffare not bearing fruit right now
(07:57):
for me.
I was kind of in a selfishplace where it was like I don't
see the point of this right now.
But again, I think, maybe withGod's grace and just my I don't
know God's grace allowing me toput aside my own frustration and
you know give you my blessingin doing this that over time
(08:19):
it's definitely produced a lotof fruit in our family.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Oh yeah, 100%.
You know it's the speed atwhich spiritual work comes to
fruition, I believe is.
I mean, there are certain timeswhere there's an awakening in
you and it's real quick, it'sreally fast, but I think most of
the time it's just it's thatslow compound interest that
comes on and it's not, you know,immediately the next day, and
(08:45):
it's over time as you continueto work on it.
That's where that the growthhappens and it's, you know, it's
kind of like people a lot ofthe listeners and watchers, they
have kids and you know theydon't notice them grow and then
all of a sudden, someone thatthey haven't seen for a while.
Oh, they got so big.
It looks like they grew likesix inches in a day and you're
(09:05):
like, well, it was actually overlast year, and so that slow
growth is, I think, part of thespiritual and it's hard.
Spiritual growth is, I think,one of the harder things to
actually grow.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Well, what does it actually mean to you to be the
spiritual leader of our family?
Or, I guess let's back up.
Do you believe that men arecalled to be spiritual leaders
of their family?
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Yeah, yeah.
So I think, as a man, have Iever shared with you the
definition of a man that I'vecome up with?
Speaker 1 (09:40):
No.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
That's cool.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
We're always learning something new about each other,
folks.
I mean, it's been 20 years ofmarriage and 24 years of being
together, so this is just cool.
I would recommend you checkthis new stuff out.
He has a definition of a manthat he made up himself.
Okay, go for it.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
It's all stuff that you've heard, so none of this is
going to surprise you.
But think it's a male right,and that's not a political
statement, that's more of abiblical statement.
When you look in genesis, whenyou look like sirok today, you
look there is the, the male, andwhat our role is right.
So it is a male that leads,that leads, protects and
(10:22):
provides for God, his spouse,his children, his family,
friends, his career and finances, and then his health and
environment, by living life ofvirtue, which is faith, hope and
love, temperance, fortitude,justice and Prudence Prudence
(10:43):
yeah, apparently I don't havethat one.
Still growing in that virtue,yeah, that working on that.
So when you look at that, whenyou look at that definition,
there's always something to beworking on and so, but at the
very beginning of it is to lead.
It is to lead and not just leadyour wife or lead your children
(11:03):
, is to lead in all of thoseareas.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
And you said to be a protector and a provider.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yeah, yeah, 100%.
I think the actual.
I've been messing with this.
I've been working on this forabout six years, seven years, I
think, is how long I've beenworking on this definition.
I think it's actually lead isnumber one.
You have to lead and then youhave to provide.
Now, provide there's the dollarand cents that most people would
(11:30):
hear when they hear provide,but it's also how do I provide
you a time for you to growspiritually?
How do I provide an environmentfor the kids to grow
spiritually?
So how do I provide in that wayalso?
And then, yeah, protect,protect the family, protect.
Now, one of the things that Ihave a problem with is that I'm
not leading God, I'm notproviding for God and I'm not
(11:54):
protecting God.
So there's that one part inthere, at the very beginning.
You know, with the God, spouse,family, friends, like I think
that that's the only part whereit's in burst.
Yes, so I'm, I'm looking atChrist and I'm looking at God
and everything that is theTrinity, and I'm being led by,
I'm being provided by and I ambeing protected by.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Which makes sense, because if you're to be the
spiritual leader of your family,your wife and your children,
then you have to be fed by Godfirst.
So God has to be first in yourown life in order for you to
pour forth that spiritualleadership to me and to the kids
(12:39):
.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Right, well, I mean, it's set up that way, like if I
am truly a child of God, right,well, I mean it's set up that
way, like if I am truly a childof God, well then, he is a
leader because he's the fatherand so, by definition, I should
be led and provided andprotected by him.
So in my earthly situation,that's where I need to do follow
him as the prime example, theexample of everything.
(13:02):
Do what he does, except here onthe earthly side.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
I've been chewing on this idea recently that, you
know, god, the Father, wants togive us the instructions, the
directions of how to live a goodand holy life, but he also
doesn't want us hanging on hisleg for our entire lifetime,
right?
And so he wants to impart thesetruths to us and he wants us to,
(13:36):
you know, be spoon fed thetruth of Christianity.
And then he wants us to, like,go out right, get off my leg and
go live this out in the world.
And I think that's one of thethings that I've really noticed
about you too, that I think atfirst, you know, when we kind of
came back to church and reallywanted to get involved, we like
(13:58):
went all in right, we signed upfor all the ministries at our
church.
We're going to volunteer foreverything, all of them, all of
them Like 13 of them it wascrazy and then just started
really diving into our faith.
And then we sort of backed outof some of those commitments to
things and at first it felt alittle bit bad for me, like we
(14:19):
were letting go of some of ourresponsibilities.
But now that I'm thinking ofthis idea of, you know, clinging
to the father's leg and thengetting out there and living and
growing up in the faith youknow, and living it out.
I think maybe the reason that wepulled back from some of those
commitments at our church orwith groups that we were part of
(14:41):
was because it was time to likegive that faith to our children
in a more practical way in thehome setting.
And so it was.
Maybe we started by servingothers and then went wait, we
really have to take seriouslythis role of leading our family
together as husband and wife,spiritually speaking, in the
(15:05):
home, and then once they grow upand kind of get off of our pant
leg, then we also go back outinto the neighborhood and into
the communities and and shareour faith in those ways.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
So yeah, I think the the pant leg analogy, I think,
falls short, because I stillknow that, uh, I think I've
gotten further away from thepant leg of God, but I'm always
going to run back because I knowthat's where my protection, my
leadership and my providing kindof strike quote unquote strike
(15:50):
out on our own.
But I think we have to reallylook at it from the perspective
of that's the source ofeverything that we're doing.
It's the source of everythingthat we have.
So I don't know that we canever truly let go of the pant
leg, but it is one of thosethings where, yeah, we want to
strike out, we want to do thosethings and taking that next step
, getting a little bit furtherand then coming back.
It's refreshing.
(16:11):
It's refreshing and there areseasons to your life.
Kids were younger and theydidn't have as many activities
back then.
So we could do 13 ministriesnot very well, but we could do
at least some of them, yeah.
And so you know, pulling backin ministries to make it more of
family and what we're doinghere in the house.
(16:33):
I think that was important.
That was an important decisionfor us to make.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Yes, yes, and I agree with you that running back to
the father, right Like I hopethat our kids, you know, know
that we are always a source ofsupport and wisdom and safety
and truth for them as they areout exploring the world and and
adulting, as they say, but alsothat still in our, our later
(17:04):
years of parenting, that we willalso point them gently back to
God, the Father, like that, likethat's, as humans, as husband
and wife and as their parentsare not perfect, we don't have
all the answers, and so pointingthem back to their spiritual
father, their heavenly father, Ithink is is so important.
(17:25):
And that just kind of leads meto another sort of idea about
living out the faith with yourfamily.
Is that, you know, the numberone, I think, most important
thing that we want for our kidsin life is for them to keep
their faith when they leave home.
(17:47):
You know, for them to losetheir faith would grieve us
deeply, and I know of a lot ofparents who have children who
are grown and out of the houseand have left the church.
They're very saddened by thatand I think it's because they
know that that is the truth, thelife, the fountain from which
(18:12):
true joy comes from, and so tobelieve that your child has
denounced that or rejected thatis a hard thing for parents to
accept, and so the beautifulthing about you and I is that we
decided that there were moreimportant things in life after
(18:33):
college than nurturing our faithlife and going to church, and
so we strayed away and did ourown thing, and I think we both
thought that there was a lot ofjoy in that we were having fun,
hanging out with our friends andshopping and buying new cars
and living this adult life wherewe were making money and
thought that that was it.
And it wasn't until we returnedto church and started kind of
(18:59):
being part of a community ofbelievers that it was like wait,
this is real joy.
This is a joy or a level ofconnection and communion with
other people and with God thatwe were missing for a long time.
Did you feel like that?
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Yeah, and I think you know, as the spiritual leader
of the family, that's notexactly the time in our life
when I was leading spiritually.
I mean, I think we were bothjust kind of going down a path
of whatever kind of washappening, you know, and so, as
not being a leader, that createda certain sense of freedom and
(19:39):
confusion, right, not not thegood kind of freedom, not the
healthy kind of freedom, butjust like freedom to do whatever
we wanted.
And then, you know, to touch onsomething that you said that
really triggered in my mind was,you know, going out with
friends and doing this and allthese different things.
It's not like when we went backto church we abandoned those
things, and even more so nowit's how can we integrate all of
(20:03):
this together?
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Because it's just better when you include God in
it Totally, yep, that makes alot of sense in it Totally, yep,
that that makes a lot of senseand that was my experience as
well is that you don't shut offyou know those parts of your
life, but instead you know workto integrate yourself and and
your friends and your activities.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Yeah, absolutely, you can sanctify it all.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Hmm, so good.
Well, what is a memory that youhave, maybe of your own father,
where you could look back andsay that him doing this certain
thing influenced me to be thespiritual leader of our family?
Speaker 2 (20:49):
yeah, I don't.
There wasn't like one thing,like it was on, you know,
tuesday in 1991 that thishappened.
It would be more along thelines of just his continued
persistent faithfulness and hisI mean, he does have his
backstory.
I think he shared that with youin one of the early episodes
here on Families of Character,but it was that story was
(21:13):
impactful, but it was also justhis consistent view on trying to
grow in faith and trying to betrying to be a good man, not in
the good sense of good, as in,like you know, I'm a good person
, but a good man is like aChristly man, someone that is
trying to follow his faith, eventhough he failed Right, and I'm
(21:34):
failing as a leader and I'mfailing as a father.
Yeah, I think it was just thepersistence of what he did.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
So how, like, what persistence did you witness?
Because I think a lot of timesyou know we're growing in our
faith, like and our kids don'tsee it right.
When our kids were babies theydidn't see you going to men of
faith on Fridays and they had noidea that you left the house
(22:01):
and, like, read the Bible, right.
So when you talk about your dad, Did you recognize certain
behaviors that he did or certaingoals that he was trying to
accomplish, or something?
Speaker 2 (22:15):
No, it never was one of those things where it was
like this is what I'm doing.
I want to do this prayer everyday.
It was more along the lines ofjust how he lived his life on a
day-to-day basis.
When he saw someone that neededhelp, he would help them, and
when it like we always went tochurch and that was a thing that
(22:37):
was, there was no optioninvolved in that and it wasn't.
It was just that's what we'regoing to do, and so it's.
I think when you see, over andover and over someone that truly
lives kind of that, that Christcentered, um, uh, joyful life,
that Christ centered way of Ithey, this person needs my help.
(22:59):
I'm going to help them.
I'm going to talk with some.
Sometimes he gets to talking topeople and they can go nuts.
He can be talking for a longtime.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
I remember I love you dad they can go, nuts, he can
be talking for a long time.
I remember I love you dad.
I remember going on a trip withyour parents to New York City
and we were like, oh no, hespotted another guy in a
Nebraska hat.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
We're going to be here for 20 minutes.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
But that really is spiritual leadership.
It's saying that I'm not soconcerned with my own agenda
that I can't leave room for aspiritual nudge, to stop and
like share a conversation with astranger because we have
something in common, we bothlike the Nebraska Huskers, or
something Right.
And so I think that was myexperience as well with my own
father being the spiritualleader of our family is, you
(23:44):
know, I think my mom was morepersistent about like getting us
to catechism, and if therewasn't a teacher to teach, you
know, our religious ed class,she would just step in and
figure it out and do it.
And what I witnessed out of myown dad was like, absolutely,
we're going to go to churchevery Sunday.
(24:05):
And it wasn't again.
We didn't go kicking andscreaming because they didn't
make a big deal of it, it wasjust like, yeah, this is like
what.
This was a routine since wewere babies and so we didn't
know that there was any otherway really on Sundays.
And then there was somethingusually enjoyable afterwards we
would make bacon and eggs andsit down and just share a really
(24:27):
good breakfast together as afamily.
And then my dad and mom both,like, volunteered at the church
and you know were involved inhelping out the priest if they
needed something, and so it'sjust those little things that
you witness and grow up being apart of.
I think that helps also in yourown spiritual formation, right?
And so that's why we're workingso hard to just live out the
(24:50):
faith in natural ways at home,so that you know, hey, this is
appealing.
Our parents are full of joybecause of how they're living
their life and the decisionsthey're making, not because
we're throwing the Bible at themand mandating that they answer
questions about our faith andcan defend everything to the nth
(25:12):
degree or whatever.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Yeah, and I think there's something to that like
just the idea of living yourfaith right.
Um, we had, we had priests overfor dinner every so often.
Uh, I remember father bobrooney.
Uh, he would, every time hecame over we would have um
fondue, and so I was excitedwhen he came over because that
was one of my favorites.
(25:33):
So, yeah, I mean it's just aliving out of the faith and I
mean I've witnessed your daddoing stuff for the church where
nobody else sees him, like it'snot out there.
You know it is.
He went up to the church,something needed fixed or
something had to happen.
And he went up to the church.
Something needed fixed orsomething.
It's something had to happen.
And he went up there with nofanfare, did whatever it was and
(25:55):
then came back and rejoined thefamily, just kind of doing the
thing whatever it was, and it's.
I think that's part of thatspiritual leadership.
You know where's Papa?
No, he had to run up to thechurch and then it triggers.
Then it triggers in me as Ilook at him as a spiritual
leader that I can have.
That's what he's doing, andthen my kids see it too, and all
(26:19):
of his grandkids see it too,and it's like that catching of
what's happening.
I think that's a huge componentof spiritual leadership.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Totally, totally agree.
I found this interesting studyon the influence of fathers on
the family and I think it'sworth sharing.
I found this fromcatholicgentlemancom and it says
a Swiss study found that thereligious practice of the father
is the most important factor inthe future faith of his
(26:49):
children.
The survey found in familieswhere both parents regularly
attend religious services, 33%of children will be regular
churchgoers for life, 41% willattend irregularly and 25% will
stop practicing their faith.
Now this is not a veryimpressive result, giving the
(27:12):
faithfulness of both parentsright, because this study is
saying both parents are going tochurch, both parents are active
in their faith, yet only 33% ofchildren will be regular
churchgoers for life if bothparents are going to church.
It says it's even worse.
The statistics are even worsewhen the father rarely or never
(27:35):
attends church on Sunday, evenif mom attended regularly In
this scenario, only 2%.
So we go from 33% to 2% oftheir children become regular
attendees in adulthood.
37% attended irregularly andover 60% stopped practicing
(27:59):
their faith completely.
Now it gets a little better,because it's as much more
hopeful as the finding that 44%of the children in the study
continued practicing theirreligion when dad was the one
who took the lead in getting thefamily to church on Sunday.
That is 11% higher thanfamilies in which both parents
(28:22):
regularly went to church onSunday.
So when you hear that, how doesthat speak to you?
What do you glean from that?
Speaker 2 (28:33):
This goes to the leadership side of things and
the responsibility of it.
As men, as leaders in thefamily, there is a certain
responsibility that we have toour wives and our children, and
if the goal is to get yourselfand your kids to heaven, that
responsibility is not small andit makes a difference.
(28:56):
What I do makes a difference inthe lives of at least you know,
you and our kids at minimum,and so I to me.
There's a part that, when I waslistening to you read that,
that, yeah, you have aresponsibility and you have to
step up and it's time to step up.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
And the awesome thing about it is it's statistically
proven that when dads lead thefamily to get to church and lead
the family in their faith, thatkids keep their faith at a much
higher rate.
And so it's been proven thatlike, yes, you matter, you
(29:35):
matter, your leadership and yourwillingness to step up and,
ladies, if you're listening,your willingness to step back so
that your husband can step intothe role of leader is very,
very important.
Okay, I have been guilty timeand time again of kind of
(30:01):
sidelining Josh and the kids andtrying to take on everything
myself, and if you've beenlistening to Families of
Character podcast for any amountof time, you'll have heard my
story probably multiple times ofjust this idea of being a team
of one and taking on fullresponsibility for doing
everything for everyone, andthere's a huge mistake in that.
(30:21):
It actually could cause you bethe cause of your children
losing their faith.
If you do not let your spouselead your husband, lead the
family and actually support himin doing that, then you have a
statistically significant lesschance of your kids going on to
(30:43):
live out their faith as adults.
That's a pretty big consequenceof continuing to try to take on
a leadership role as a woman inthe family and so, as someone
who's been there, I feel like Ican nudge you a little bit
harder than maybe someone elsewould, because I know what
you're capable of.
I know what I was capable of,and once I gave the reins to
(31:06):
Josh I was like man, I shouldhave had this over long ago, you
know.
And so it's just been great tosee you step up as spiritual
leader of our family.
But I also wanted to share astory, because this is personal
to our family.
But just a couple years ago,when our oldest was, I think, a
junior in high school orsomething, you know how
teenagers kind of like theyprefer to sleep in or they think
(31:29):
they want to, you know, on theweekends.
Well, we had always been nineo'clock churchgoers on Sundays
for years we have, and both myteenage son and I were like you
know, maybe we ought to just goto church on Saturday nights,
just a blank slate, just a wholeday, to kind of chill and relax
(31:49):
and just rest and not have toget up and get ourselves out the
door and ready for something.
Wouldn't that be nice?
And we pitched this idea to youat the table and I could tell
you were just like no, this isnot right, this is not good.
But you did, like a lovingfather, say father, say, okay,
(32:11):
it looks like I'm outnumbered inthis one.
Because then all four of us thethree kids and myself all said,
yeah, we just want to try this.
And so you said, okay, let'sgive it a try, let's give it a
try, then we'll go, you know, onSaturday night and then let's,
let's see how this plays out.
And quickly we were like thisis, this is not fun, this is not
(32:35):
working out.
But you didn't say anything,you didn't say I told you so or
like so, did that that work outlike you thought it would?
So are you feeling like realgood about your whole Sunday
being off?
You didn't say anything.
You kind of let us, you know,make that decision and then us,
naturally, you know, decide thatthere's something off about
(32:56):
that.
That just doesn't feel right.
And and then you kind ofencouraged, you said, you know,
let's, let's go back to theSunday at nine o'clock and let's
see how that goes.
And it's been great, we were somuch better off.
I'm like, see, we can strayaway from his leadership and try
to, you know, exert our, ourpower and authority and you
(33:18):
gently allowed us to like playthat out.
And then it came back to whatyou knew was best for us and we
all ended up agreeing that thatwas that works best for our
family.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Yeah, we had, as a family unit, we had to discover
what was best, and so that'swhat we did.
We discovered, as a family unit, what was best.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
But that one Sunday we just about killed you.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
It was terrible.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
I knew you were like.
This is against every fiber inmy being.
But the kids didn't notice it.
They just thought okay, dad'sgiven us the free reign to try
something different.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
We were still going to mass.
We were still doing what wewere supposed to be doing.
So we can play within theselines and figure out what's
happening.
And that's part of leadershipis letting other people try to
lead and try to experiencethings and do great.
Maybe it would have worked.
Maybe it would have worked andit would have been awesome yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Well, I appreciated that, that sweet little
experience where you didn't justshut us down but allowed to do
with that, and I think you wereeven more involved at that point
.
When we went back to our nineo'clock routine was like, hey,
let's stack a habit with this,like making brunch together, you
(34:40):
know, and and so then thatroutine of you know going out
and practicing our faith in thechurch was combined with a
family activity that helped usgrow in unity, and so that is
like even better, right thatwe're stacking it on activities
as a family that really help usto learn more about each other,
(35:04):
to rest instead of run off andgo to Costco or, you know, kids
go to sports or something likethat.
But it's helped us to preservethat third commandment, which is
to keep holy the Sabbath.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
You bet, you bet, I like it.
It's good stuff, good, goodstuff.
I just want to say one thingthough, especially for those any
guys listening if you're notthe spiritual leader of your
family right now, it's tough.
It was tough.
I mean, you said earlier thatyou gave me the reins back.
I don't know that.
That's actually how it happened.
I don't think you gave me thereins back.
(35:41):
I think it was kind of you hadthe reins and then we kind of
struggled over who had them.
And I mean it is hard.
It's hard to be the expectationthat leaders should have on
themselves first of all, and theexpectations that they should
have for the family.
It's, you know, it's a dauntingtask, and so I would say to
(36:03):
some of the men that arelistening if you're not there,
it's going to be tough, it'sgoing to be frightening.
There are points in time whereyou're going to not think that
you're doing it right, andyou're probably not.
You really probably aren't.
But that's okay, because that'spart of the learning process.
I'm still not doing it right Now.
I'm doing it significantlybetter than I was.
(36:23):
But I think it's important tojust to give people that grace
to say, hey, you know, thisisn't something that you just
switch the light switch and thenall of a sudden, ta-da, it's
working and it's perfect.
It's one of those things whereit's a process and sometimes it
(36:44):
hurts.
It really, really hurts as aman when you feel disrespected
and you don't feel like thingsare going the way that you want
them to, and then you, if you dosome real reflection on it,
it's because of your leadership,it's not because of your wife
or it's not because of your kids, it's because you failed in
your leadership, and that canthat can be a tough pill to
swallow.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Well, I think humility is such a part of it
too, and that's what I'veexperienced with you.
When you will just come to meand be like you know, Jordan,
I'm, I'm trying my best to bethe leader of this family.
And you know, when you do this,I feel like you kind of pull
the rug out from underneath me,and that's hard, it's hard to
(37:26):
handle when that happens.
And so when you just come to mein that soft way where you're
able to go like, listen, lady,I'm trying and you just keep
like wiping me out here, youknow.
Then I'm like, oh, that's right,he's trying and it's not going
to be perfect.
And, ladies, if you want yourhusband to be the spiritual
leader of your family, you know,give him permission to join
(37:50):
men's groups.
Give him permission to, youknow, protect his time around
reading the Bible, you know.
Ask him if he'd like to be partof something with you, to start
praying together or to startdiscovering something new about
your faith, and then allow himto lead in whatever way feels
(38:10):
natural for him at the time.
And then I always tell womenlike praise your husband for the
small, you know progress thathe's making, the little steps
that he's taking.
Just tell him I noticed this,you know.
Or, since you've been going tothis men's group, I've really
noticed a difference in the waythat you carry yourself, or the
(38:32):
confidence that you seem to havewhen it comes to distressing
decisions about our children orsomething, because that positive
reinforcement, I feel like,helps you too, am I right?
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Oh, 100%.
But that goes back to thebeginning of our conversation.
It's hard sometimes when thefruits of what someone's working
on doesn't appear as quickly asyou would like or sometimes it
doesn't at all internally, Ithink some of the spiritual
growth that I've had for myself,you and the kids will never
(39:04):
understand or never experienceor never see it or know it
because it was internally withme, or never experience it or
never see it or know it becauseit was internally with me.
And that internal growth, whileit's extremely important for
the growth and the leadership ofour family, that's a personal
thing for me.
You know, my growth didn't comein outward, so you don't have
(39:24):
anything to cling on to and say,hey, you know, I'm so glad that
you did X, y or Z and youreally showed your leadership or
something like that.
It's like it's not there andit's tough, it is really tough.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
And it's a journey right.
It's one of those things youjust go okay, am I going to do
this?
I want to be the leader of myfamily and as a woman, you say I
want my man to be the spiritualleader of our family and you
keep that kind of commitment toone another.
That that's the order ofpriorities.
We are going to hold at thehighest rank is first our faith
(39:59):
and then our marriage and thenthe leadership of our children.
Then, if you keep that frontand center in mind, you can
stumble and bumble around andforgive each other and and try
again.
But I think I think that's whatit takes is for a couple to
really say is do we believe this?
Do we believe that you, the man, should be the spiritual leader
(40:22):
of our family and, if so,control the controllables?
As a woman, I have to doeverything I can to support him
in his role as a leader, and youhave to do whatever it takes to
kind of continue to makeprogress in guiding us to church
, guiding us to things that aregood and holy and things that
(40:47):
make us love our neighbors andgo out in community and serve
those people in need.
And then it works together andyou've got an order of priority
that is spoken and lived out inyour family.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
Yeah, I think one of the big things about leadership
in the family and just kind ofin my head when you were saying
that is, this is not just meleading, right, this is not.
I'm the leader and you're thefollower, because there are
going to be times where I tripand I fall, I stumble and I fail
(41:22):
at what I'm doing.
And so when we're talkingleadership, you know it sounds
very hierarchical, hierarchical,hierarchical.
Yeah, look it up, everybody,look it up, but it's not.
It is, but it's not.
I think those times when I failand I come to you and I say
listen, george, I've, I'm atfault here, I'm sorry, like
(41:47):
those are the times where you'realso leading me, so it's not
just me leading, and then youhave to sit back and watch.
I think when we look at thefamily unit, when we look at the
husband and the wife, there isa leadership component that is
on both sides of this.
This is not a dominant malelike you have to do what I tell
you to do.
It's.
(42:08):
This is my leadership at themoment.
And now I've fallen and you'verisen up.
You're the one supporting usright now because I'm down.
It's kind of like the you knowa football analogy where you
know the next man up, you knowyour tight end goes out, then
you have to bring in a new tightend.
It's got to play the game.
You have to play the gamebecause we're all in this
spiritual battle.
We're all in the spiritualbattle in this spiritual battle.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
We're all in the spiritual battle.
So I'm glad you mentioned thatbecause I also, you know, really
firmly believe that you know,as husband and wife, if you are
not in a position where you areleading us spiritually in our
faith, that it is myresponsibility as like a
secondary leader, to do whateverI can to lead our kids to God,
(42:59):
right?
So I know a lot of you who arelistening might be thinking like
my husband isn't there, like hedoesn't even go to church or
he's not sure he believes in Godor whatever.
So am I supposed to just sitback and and not do anything
because I'm I'm waiting for himto do his job?
Oh, my goodness, you would dieinside if you actually did that
Right, because you know thatthat there's a better way.
(43:21):
And so if you know there's abetter way and the other person
isn't taking charge to lead thefamily in the faith, then as a
mother, you absolutely have tostep up and take that role.
However, there's a caveat tothis, because when you do that,
the primary goal should alwaysbe to invite in your husband
(43:44):
into this process.
It shouldn't be about youleading the kids in faith and
taking them to church and takingthem to Sunday school and
allowing him to sit on thesidelines.
Now it's also about not you know, dragging him, kicking and
screaming and say you will go tochurch with us.
No, no, no, no.
But it's saying we would lovefor you to join us.
(44:05):
You know, we learned this newthing.
Can we share it with you?
It's just that sweet way ofsaying I've got this right now
and I feel confident in leadingthe kids in their faith because
I'm grounded in my own faith andI recognize you are where you
are in your own journey of faith, or maybe in your place of just
(44:27):
sort of accepting that youdon't want to move in your faith
right now, but I'm always goingto invite you in.
I'm always going to try toinclude you and then not make
you feel guilty if you don'tparticipate right.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Yeah, there's a component of trust in that too.
Right, so maybe verbalizing Itrust that you can lead us I
mean, that is so empowering fora guy yes, you know, or I can
trust that you can lead us.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
I don't I have not thought this one through, so
don't take these words exactly,but I think there's a component
that's like I, you know, I Itrust in you, and that that
trust that could probablyactivate a lot of guys it can
activate a lot of men to to stepinto their true role of what it
is they're supposed to be doingI can't imagine because the two
(45:20):
become one in marriage that ifI were to tell you you know, I
trust that you you've got this,I trust that you know you can us
that that could truly unlockthat just sort of you know stuck
position.
Speaker 2 (45:39):
Well, it's permission to try.
Yeah, because now it's not.
The risk of failure has gonedown a little bit.
Failure is still a part of it,100%.
Speaker 1 (45:50):
But I think with that trust outwardly expressed, then
someone can move forwardespecially when the trust is
coming from your person, yourclosest person, your neighbor.
Right, we talk about lovingyour neighbor.
Your neighbor is your spouse ifyou're married.
Right, they are the closestperson to you.
So if the closest person to yousays I know where you are right
(46:14):
now and I trust that you canleave, you've got what it takes,
man, that can move mountainsbig time Good stuff.
Well listen, I think it'simportant for us to kind of keep
these conversations going.
So if you think you know thisisn't me or we're just not there
yet, guess what?
(46:34):
We aren't there yet either.
Okay, over here at the Langdonhouse in Denver, colorado, we
have nothing figured outperfectly.
We're just trying.
We're just on the road with adesire to seek the good, the
true, the beautiful and to leadour kids along that path with us
.
There's plenty of stumbling,there's plenty of mistakes and
(46:57):
missteps.
We've got a little therapy fundsaved up for our kids.
I think Parker might already beusing his.
You know like we're going toget this wrong, but we are
committed to trying to adjustand recalibrate the priorities
in our family life to be surethat you know God is at the
forefront of everything in ourlives, that our marriage comes
(47:20):
next and that our family and theunity of the family and what we
abundant life beyond our wallsof this home.
So we trust that you, too, cando this and be on this journey
(47:42):
with our community.
So thank you for tuning in withus, thanks for sharing this with
your spouse.
Thanks for sharing this withpeople in your circles.
Sharing this with your spouse,thanks for sharing this with
people in your circles.
You are helping us to reach somany married couples and
families across the globe.
We have people listening in allkinds of different countries
and I think we're up to like 42out of the 50 states.
(48:05):
So continue to share thispodcast with other people and
just know that that signatureline in my emails I am always in
your corner.
Yeah, josh and I over here,team Langdon, we truly are
always in your corner.
We'll catch you on anotherepisode of the show real soon,
(48:27):
take care.
Hey there, welcome back to our show or, if you're
new, welcome to the Families ofCharacter show.
We're so glad to have youtuning in today.
I have a pretty awesome guesthere in studio with me today.
I've known this cat for 25years or so and been married to
him for 20 years and haveparented three children with him
(00:24):
.
So welcome to the show, myhusband, josh Langdon.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Well, thank you very much for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
It's been a minute since we've done an episode
together.
I think the last one werecorded was when we were in
Scotland and our son was incharge of our maybe 16-year-old
son was in charge of our twolittle ones and ripped the door
off of our car.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Yeah, I'm glad that we're home and all cars are
parked, as far as we know rightnow.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Yes.
So if you haven't checked outthat episode, we'll be sure that
that episode is linked in theshow notes.
Quite the story of, you know,just trusting your children and
then rolling with whateverhappens while you're away.
So today we want to talk aboutbeing the spiritual leader of
(01:12):
your family as a man, and sothis is something that I have
found to be.
One of the most attractivetraits about you over the 20
years of our marriage is justwhen you started taking over as
leader of our family in the wayof spiritual direction and just
(01:33):
being the one to kind of get usto church and to share your
faith with us, like I thought,you know, it'd be so many other
things that would attract me toyou, but that hands down has
been the most awesome thing inour marriage, and just for me to
experience, as a mother,witnessing your leadership in
(01:58):
faith to our kids.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
So Well, darn it.
I wish I would have known that20 years ago.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
I know right, they don't tell you when you first
get married, like hey, darn it.
I wish I would have known that20 years ago.
I know Right, they don't tellyou when you first get married,
like hey no manual no manual,you know.
So you just get to bumblingaround when you first get
married and and have kids andand hope for some positive
influences in your life and andtry to listen to the wisdom of
other people, and I think that'show we all get started in all
(02:24):
this right.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
I believe so.
Yeah, it's a discovery processfor sure.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Yes, absolutely, and it's been a journey for us, for
sure.
I remember when we had littleones I think it was two little
ones at the time and we had justmoved from Texas to Colorado,
and we had just moved from Texasto Colorado and we joined a
church and one of the thingsthat you were kind of excited
about was getting involved withmen's groups at the church and
it was a beautiful thing.
I remember thinking, ohwonderful, he wants to be part
(02:59):
of these men's groups.
This is, isn't this, what everywoman wants their, their
husband and the father of theirkids to be, you know, growing in
their faith.
But then the reality hit whenyou would leave early in the
morning to go to the church tomeet these men, and it was like
a school day and I was trying toget the kids ready and feed
(03:20):
them breakfast and get all theirthings ready for school.
And I remember having thisresentment towards you and I was
thinking, okay, I knowrationally that this is a good
idea, that this is a good thing,but I'm also kind of upset that
I'm at home beating my brainsout trying to get the kids
together and get them off toschool.
So is this a good thing?
Is this a good time for him tobe, you know, doing these things
(03:43):
in the morning hours when Icould really use his help.
And so it was a real internalstruggle for me, because I think
what weighed out was, yes, youought to support him in being
part of these groups and growingin his faith and kind of suck
it up, Jordan.
And so that's just what I did,and there's no judgment, you
(04:04):
know, on where you are with withthis in your own home if you're
listening.
But for me I just thought, okay, I guess it's.
I got to kind of grin and bearit and trust that this is going
to, you know, produce fruit downthe road, and so I don't think
I did a great job of it.
Like I probably was a littlebit rude to you in the mornings
before you headed off, because Iwas just thinking of all the
(04:26):
things I was going to have to doon my own, and so I appreciate
you, not just, I don't know,getting upset with me or or or.
You know you were seem to beunderstanding.
But a thing that I wanted toknow is you could tell it was a
struggle for me.
So what made you just pushthrough and continue doing that,
(04:49):
even though you knew I was kindof struggling at home with the
kids while you were away.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Yeah, there's probably a part of me that
should have communicated withyou better about what I was
doing in these men's groups.
I wasn't just going there andhaving coffee although coffee is
a part of any good men's grouphas coffee, especially at six
o'clock in the morning.
So it was probably on me, theonus was on me, to actually
(05:15):
communicate that.
Yeah, you know, I'm going thereand I'm doing spiritual work,
like I'm trying to make myselfbetter.
I'm trying to make myself abetter follower of Christ.
I'm trying to make myself abetter follower of Christ.
I'm trying to make myself abetter spouse, a better dad, you
know, a better friend, allthose other things.
So it was probably it probablyshould have been something that
I really communicated to you.
(05:36):
It wasn't just coffee anddonuts, but it was spiritual,
the spiritual work that I wasgoing to do, which probably made
it easier to push through,because I know, you know, going
there, talking to the guys,having the content presented to
us, it really allowed me to kindof look internally and see how
I could be better.
(05:56):
So it wasn't so much about justgetting out of the house and
make sure that you know, I wasnot here when the kids got up,
but it was more along the linesof hey, I'm, I'm, I'm, working,
you know, not work at work, butI'm still working spiritually to
, to grow.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
and that's probably the easiest part of it was was
getting up and and going to thechurch at six well, and I feel
like I knew in my heart like youwouldn't be telling me you're
going to this men's group justso that you could go get a free
breakfast, like I didn't knowthat you, you know that was
something that had been missingfor you for some years, just
(06:34):
because we were kind of living astray life, you know, after
college, and kind of wanderingaround, kind of trying to find
our place, and and so I knowthat that's what you were doing.
And at the same time I struggled, right.
I was like, man, I hope I getto go to a women's group someday
, you know, like I can't waittill my kids are old enough,
(06:55):
where you know I can participatein something like this myself,
because I could see that it washelping you directly.
And I guess there was a part ofme too, as a mom that was kind
of stressed out and exhaustedall the time, that was also
saying like I don't necessarilysee the fruits of this right now
(07:17):
, you know, and so that made ithard for me to support you
continuing to do it, because Ifelt like it was.
I was so overwhelmed that Iwanted, like a one-to-one, you
know, return on the investment,Like every every Friday.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
It was better on Saturday yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Like you went Friday morning and so we should have a
really awesome Friday evening.
Or you went to a silent retreatone time and you came home and
I was like I can't wait for himto come home, this is going to
be so good.
And then you're like can we goon a walk?
And we walked a mile togetherand fought the whole time and I
thought this is just a joke.
These retreats and this stuffare not bearing fruit right now
(07:57):
for me.
I was kind of in a selfishplace where it was like I don't
see the point of this right now.
But again, I think, maybe withGod's grace and just my I don't
know God's grace allowing me toput aside my own frustration and
you know give you my blessingin doing this that over time
(08:19):
it's definitely produced a lotof fruit in our family.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Oh yeah, 100%.
You know it's the speed atwhich spiritual work comes to
fruition, I believe is.
I mean, there are certain timeswhere there's an awakening in
you and it's real quick, it'sreally fast, but I think most of
the time it's just it's thatslow compound interest that
comes on and it's not, you know,immediately the next day, and
(08:45):
it's over time as you continueto work on it.
That's where that the growthhappens and it's, you know, it's
kind of like people a lot ofthe listeners and watchers, they
have kids and you know theydon't notice them grow and then
all of a sudden, someone thatthey haven't seen for a while.
Oh, they got so big.
It looks like they grew likesix inches in a day and you're
(09:05):
like, well, it was actually overlast year, and so that slow
growth is, I think, part of thespiritual and it's hard.
Spiritual growth is, I think,one of the harder things to
actually grow.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Well, what does it actually mean to you to be the
spiritual leader of our family?
Or, I guess let's back up.
Do you believe that men arecalled to be spiritual leaders
of their family?
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Yeah, yeah.
So I think, as a man, have Iever shared with you the
definition of a man that I'vecome up with?
Speaker 1 (09:40):
No.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
That's cool.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
We're always learning something new about each other,
folks.
I mean, it's been 20 years ofmarriage and 24 years of being
together, so this is just cool.
I would recommend you checkthis new stuff out.
He has a definition of a manthat he made up himself.
Okay, go for it.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
It's all stuff that you've heard, so none of this is
going to surprise you.
But think it's a male right,and that's not a political
statement, that's more of abiblical statement.
When you look in genesis, whenyou look like sirok today, you
look there is the, the male, andwhat our role is right.
So it is a male that leads,that leads, protects and
(10:22):
provides for God, his spouse,his children, his family,
friends, his career and finances, and then his health and
environment, by living life ofvirtue, which is faith, hope and
love, temperance, fortitude,justice and Prudence Prudence
(10:43):
yeah, apparently I don't havethat one.
Still growing in that virtue,yeah, that working on that.
So when you look at that, whenyou look at that definition,
there's always something to beworking on and so, but at the
very beginning of it is to lead.
It is to lead and not just leadyour wife or lead your children
(11:03):
, is to lead in all of thoseareas.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
And you said to be a protector and a provider.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yeah, yeah, 100%.
I think the actual.
I've been messing with this.
I've been working on this forabout six years, seven years, I
think, is how long I've beenworking on this definition.
I think it's actually lead isnumber one.
You have to lead and then youhave to provide.
Now, provide there's the dollarand cents that most people would
(11:30):
hear when they hear provide,but it's also how do I provide
you a time for you to growspiritually?
How do I provide an environmentfor the kids to grow
spiritually?
So how do I provide in that wayalso?
And then, yeah, protect,protect the family, protect.
Now, one of the things that Ihave a problem with is that I'm
not leading God, I'm notproviding for God and I'm not
(11:54):
protecting God.
So there's that one part inthere, at the very beginning.
You know, with the God, spouse,family, friends, like I think
that that's the only part whereit's in burst.
Yes, so I'm, I'm looking atChrist and I'm looking at God
and everything that is theTrinity, and I'm being led by,
I'm being provided by and I ambeing protected by.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Which makes sense, because if you're to be the
spiritual leader of your family,your wife and your children,
then you have to be fed by Godfirst.
So God has to be first in yourown life in order for you to
pour forth that spiritualleadership to me and to the kids
(12:39):
.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Right, well, I mean, it's set up that way, like if I
am truly a child of God, right,well, I mean it's set up that
way, like if I am truly a childof God, well then, he is a
leader because he's the fatherand so, by definition, I should
be led and provided andprotected by him.
So in my earthly situation,that's where I need to do follow
him as the prime example, theexample of everything.
(13:02):
Do what he does, except here onthe earthly side.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
I've been chewing on this idea recently that, you
know, god, the Father, wants togive us the instructions, the
directions of how to live a goodand holy life, but he also
doesn't want us hanging on hisleg for our entire lifetime,
right?
And so he wants to impart thesetruths to us and he wants us to,
(13:36):
you know, be spoon fed thetruth of Christianity.
And then he wants us to, like,go out right, get off my leg and
go live this out in the world.
And I think that's one of thethings that I've really noticed
about you too, that I think atfirst, you know, when we kind of
came back to church and reallywanted to get involved, we like
(13:58):
went all in right, we signed upfor all the ministries at our
church.
We're going to volunteer foreverything, all of them, all of
them Like 13 of them it wascrazy and then just started
really diving into our faith.
And then we sort of backed outof some of those commitments to
things and at first it felt alittle bit bad for me, like we
(14:19):
were letting go of some of ourresponsibilities.
But now that I'm thinking ofthis idea of, you know, clinging
to the father's leg and thengetting out there and living and
growing up in the faith youknow, and living it out.
I think maybe the reason that wepulled back from some of those
commitments at our church orwith groups that we were part of
(14:41):
was because it was time to likegive that faith to our children
in a more practical way in thehome setting.
And so it was.
Maybe we started by servingothers and then went wait, we
really have to take seriouslythis role of leading our family
together as husband and wife,spiritually speaking, in the
(15:05):
home, and then once they grow upand kind of get off of our pant
leg, then we also go back outinto the neighborhood and into
the communities and and shareour faith in those ways.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
So yeah, I think the the pant leg analogy, I think,
falls short, because I stillknow that, uh, I think I've
gotten further away from thepant leg of God, but I'm always
going to run back because I knowthat's where my protection, my
leadership and my providing kindof strike quote unquote strike
(15:50):
out on our own.
But I think we have to reallylook at it from the perspective
of that's the source ofeverything that we're doing.
It's the source of everythingthat we have.
So I don't know that we canever truly let go of the pant
leg, but it is one of thosethings where, yeah, we want to
strike out, we want to do thosethings and taking that next step
, getting a little bit furtherand then coming back.
It's refreshing.
(16:11):
It's refreshing and there areseasons to your life.
Kids were younger and theydidn't have as many activities
back then.
So we could do 13 ministriesnot very well, but we could do
at least some of them, yeah.
And so you know, pulling backin ministries to make it more of
family and what we're doinghere in the house.
(16:33):
I think that was important.
That was an important decisionfor us to make.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Yes, yes, and I agree with you that running back to
the father, right Like I hopethat our kids, you know, know
that we are always a source ofsupport and wisdom and safety
and truth for them as they areout exploring the world and and
adulting, as they say, but alsothat still in our, our later
(17:04):
years of parenting, that we willalso point them gently back to
God, the Father, like that, likethat's, as humans, as husband
and wife and as their parentsare not perfect, we don't have
all the answers, and so pointingthem back to their spiritual
father, their heavenly father, Ithink is is so important.
(17:25):
And that just kind of leads meto another sort of idea about
living out the faith with yourfamily.
Is that, you know, the numberone, I think, most important
thing that we want for our kidsin life is for them to keep
their faith when they leave home.
(17:47):
You know, for them to losetheir faith would grieve us
deeply, and I know of a lot ofparents who have children who
are grown and out of the houseand have left the church.
They're very saddened by thatand I think it's because they
know that that is the truth, thelife, the fountain from which
(18:12):
true joy comes from, and so tobelieve that your child has
denounced that or rejected thatis a hard thing for parents to
accept, and so the beautifulthing about you and I is that we
decided that there were moreimportant things in life after
(18:33):
college than nurturing our faithlife and going to church, and
so we strayed away and did ourown thing, and I think we both
thought that there was a lot ofjoy in that we were having fun,
hanging out with our friends andshopping and buying new cars
and living this adult life wherewe were making money and
thought that that was it.
And it wasn't until we returnedto church and started kind of
(18:59):
being part of a community ofbelievers that it was like wait,
this is real joy.
This is a joy or a level ofconnection and communion with
other people and with God thatwe were missing for a long time.
Did you feel like that?
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Yeah, and I think you know, as the spiritual leader
of the family, that's notexactly the time in our life
when I was leading spiritually.
I mean, I think we were bothjust kind of going down a path
of whatever kind of washappening, you know, and so, as
not being a leader, that createda certain sense of freedom and
(19:39):
confusion, right, not not thegood kind of freedom, not the
healthy kind of freedom, butjust like freedom to do whatever
we wanted.
And then, you know, to touch onsomething that you said that
really triggered in my mind was,you know, going out with
friends and doing this and allthese different things.
It's not like when we went backto church we abandoned those
things, and even more so nowit's how can we integrate all of
(20:03):
this together?
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Because it's just better when you include God in
it Totally, yep, that makes alot of sense in it Totally, yep,
that that makes a lot of senseand that was my experience as
well is that you don't shut offyou know those parts of your
life, but instead you know workto integrate yourself and and
your friends and your activities.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Yeah, absolutely, you can sanctify it all.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Hmm, so good.
Well, what is a memory that youhave, maybe of your own father,
where you could look back andsay that him doing this certain
thing influenced me to be thespiritual leader of our family?
Speaker 2 (20:49):
yeah, I don't.
There wasn't like one thing,like it was on, you know,
tuesday in 1991 that thishappened.
It would be more along thelines of just his continued
persistent faithfulness and hisI mean, he does have his
backstory.
I think he shared that with youin one of the early episodes
here on Families of Character,but it was that story was
(21:13):
impactful, but it was also justhis consistent view on trying to
grow in faith and trying to betrying to be a good man, not in
the good sense of good, as in,like you know, I'm a good person
, but a good man is like aChristly man, someone that is
trying to follow his faith, eventhough he failed Right, and I'm
(21:34):
failing as a leader and I'mfailing as a father.
Yeah, I think it was just thepersistence of what he did.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
So how, like, what persistence did you witness?
Because I think a lot of timesyou know we're growing in our
faith, like and our kids don'tsee it right.
When our kids were babies theydidn't see you going to men of
faith on Fridays and they had noidea that you left the house
(22:01):
and, like, read the Bible, right.
So when you talk about your dad, Did you recognize certain
behaviors that he did or certaingoals that he was trying to
accomplish, or something?
Speaker 2 (22:15):
No, it never was one of those things where it was
like this is what I'm doing.
I want to do this prayer everyday.
It was more along the lines ofjust how he lived his life on a
day-to-day basis.
When he saw someone that neededhelp, he would help them, and
when it like we always went tochurch and that was a thing that
(22:37):
was, there was no optioninvolved in that and it wasn't.
It was just that's what we'regoing to do, and so it's.
I think when you see, over andover and over someone that truly
lives kind of that, that Christcentered, um, uh, joyful life,
that Christ centered way of Ithey, this person needs my help.
(22:59):
I'm going to help them.
I'm going to talk with some.
Sometimes he gets to talking topeople and they can go nuts.
He can be talking for a longtime.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
I remember I love you dad they can go, nuts, he can
be talking for a long time.
I remember I love you dad.
I remember going on a trip withyour parents to New York City
and we were like, oh no, hespotted another guy in a
Nebraska hat.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
We're going to be here for 20 minutes.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
But that really is spiritual leadership.
It's saying that I'm not soconcerned with my own agenda
that I can't leave room for aspiritual nudge, to stop and
like share a conversation with astranger because we have
something in common, we bothlike the Nebraska Huskers, or
something Right.
And so I think that was myexperience as well with my own
father being the spiritualleader of our family is, you
(23:44):
know, I think my mom was morepersistent about like getting us
to catechism, and if therewasn't a teacher to teach, you
know, our religious ed class,she would just step in and
figure it out and do it.
And what I witnessed out of myown dad was like, absolutely,
we're going to go to churchevery Sunday.
(24:05):
And it wasn't again.
We didn't go kicking andscreaming because they didn't
make a big deal of it, it wasjust like, yeah, this is like
what.
This was a routine since wewere babies and so we didn't
know that there was any otherway really on Sundays.
And then there was somethingusually enjoyable afterwards we
would make bacon and eggs andsit down and just share a really
(24:27):
good breakfast together as afamily.
And then my dad and mom both,like, volunteered at the church
and you know were involved inhelping out the priest if they
needed something, and so it'sjust those little things that
you witness and grow up being apart of.
I think that helps also in yourown spiritual formation, right?
And so that's why we're workingso hard to just live out the
(24:50):
faith in natural ways at home,so that you know, hey, this is
appealing.
Our parents are full of joybecause of how they're living
their life and the decisionsthey're making, not because
we're throwing the Bible at themand mandating that they answer
questions about our faith andcan defend everything to the nth
(25:12):
degree or whatever.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Yeah, and I think there's something to that like
just the idea of living yourfaith right.
Um, we had, we had priests overfor dinner every so often.
Uh, I remember father bobrooney.
Uh, he would, every time hecame over we would have um
fondue, and so I was excitedwhen he came over because that
was one of my favorites.
(25:33):
So, yeah, I mean it's just aliving out of the faith and I
mean I've witnessed your daddoing stuff for the church where
nobody else sees him, like it'snot out there.
You know it is.
He went up to the church,something needed fixed or
something had to happen.
And he went up to the church.
Something needed fixed orsomething.
It's something had to happen.
And he went up there with nofanfare, did whatever it was and
(25:55):
then came back and rejoined thefamily, just kind of doing the
thing whatever it was, and it's.
I think that's part of thatspiritual leadership.
You know where's Papa?
No, he had to run up to thechurch and then it triggers.
Then it triggers in me as Ilook at him as a spiritual
leader that I can have.
That's what he's doing, andthen my kids see it too, and all
(26:19):
of his grandkids see it too,and it's like that catching of
what's happening.
I think that's a huge componentof spiritual leadership.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Totally, totally agree.
I found this interesting studyon the influence of fathers on
the family and I think it'sworth sharing.
I found this fromcatholicgentlemancom and it says
a Swiss study found that thereligious practice of the father
is the most important factor inthe future faith of his
(26:49):
children.
The survey found in familieswhere both parents regularly
attend religious services, 33%of children will be regular
churchgoers for life, 41% willattend irregularly and 25% will
stop practicing their faith.
Now this is not a veryimpressive result, giving the
(27:12):
faithfulness of both parentsright, because this study is
saying both parents are going tochurch, both parents are active
in their faith, yet only 33% ofchildren will be regular
churchgoers for life if bothparents are going to church.
It says it's even worse.
The statistics are even worsewhen the father rarely or never
(27:35):
attends church on Sunday, evenif mom attended regularly In
this scenario, only 2%.
So we go from 33% to 2% oftheir children become regular
attendees in adulthood.
37% attended irregularly andover 60% stopped practicing
(27:59):
their faith completely.
Now it gets a little better,because it's as much more
hopeful as the finding that 44%of the children in the study
continued practicing theirreligion when dad was the one
who took the lead in getting thefamily to church on Sunday.
That is 11% higher thanfamilies in which both parents
(28:22):
regularly went to church onSunday.
So when you hear that, how doesthat speak to you?
What do you glean from that?
Speaker 2 (28:33):
This goes to the leadership side of things and
the responsibility of it.
As men, as leaders in thefamily, there is a certain
responsibility that we have toour wives and our children, and
if the goal is to get yourselfand your kids to heaven, that
responsibility is not small andit makes a difference.
(28:56):
What I do makes a difference inthe lives of at least you know,
you and our kids at minimum,and so I to me.
There's a part that, when I waslistening to you read that,
that, yeah, you have aresponsibility and you have to
step up and it's time to step up.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
And the awesome thing about it is it's statistically
proven that when dads lead thefamily to get to church and lead
the family in their faith, thatkids keep their faith at a much
higher rate.
And so it's been proven thatlike, yes, you matter, you
(29:35):
matter, your leadership and yourwillingness to step up and,
ladies, if you're listening,your willingness to step back so
that your husband can step intothe role of leader is very,
very important.
Okay, I have been guilty timeand time again of kind of
(30:01):
sidelining Josh and the kids andtrying to take on everything
myself, and if you've beenlistening to Families of
Character podcast for any amountof time, you'll have heard my
story probably multiple times ofjust this idea of being a team
of one and taking on fullresponsibility for doing
everything for everyone, andthere's a huge mistake in that.
(30:21):
It actually could cause you bethe cause of your children
losing their faith.
If you do not let your spouselead your husband, lead the
family and actually support himin doing that, then you have a
statistically significant lesschance of your kids going on to
(30:43):
live out their faith as adults.
That's a pretty big consequenceof continuing to try to take on
a leadership role as a woman inthe family and so, as someone
who's been there, I feel like Ican nudge you a little bit
harder than maybe someone elsewould, because I know what
you're capable of.
I know what I was capable of,and once I gave the reins to
(31:06):
Josh I was like man, I shouldhave had this over long ago, you
know.
And so it's just been great tosee you step up as spiritual
leader of our family.
But I also wanted to share astory, because this is personal
to our family.
But just a couple years ago,when our oldest was, I think, a
junior in high school orsomething, you know how
teenagers kind of like theyprefer to sleep in or they think
(31:29):
they want to, you know, on theweekends.
Well, we had always been nineo'clock churchgoers on Sundays
for years we have, and both myteenage son and I were like you
know, maybe we ought to just goto church on Saturday nights,
just a blank slate, just a wholeday, to kind of chill and relax
(31:49):
and just rest and not have toget up and get ourselves out the
door and ready for something.
Wouldn't that be nice?
And we pitched this idea to youat the table and I could tell
you were just like no, this isnot right, this is not good.
But you did, like a lovingfather, say father, say, okay,
(32:11):
it looks like I'm outnumbered inthis one.
Because then all four of us thethree kids and myself all said,
yeah, we just want to try this.
And so you said, okay, let'sgive it a try, let's give it a
try, then we'll go, you know, onSaturday night and then let's,
let's see how this plays out.
And quickly we were like thisis, this is not fun, this is not
(32:35):
working out.
But you didn't say anything,you didn't say I told you so or
like so, did that that work outlike you thought it would?
So are you feeling like realgood about your whole Sunday
being off?
You didn't say anything.
You kind of let us, you know,make that decision and then us,
naturally, you know, decide thatthere's something off about
(32:56):
that.
That just doesn't feel right.
And and then you kind ofencouraged, you said, you know,
let's, let's go back to theSunday at nine o'clock and let's
see how that goes.
And it's been great, we were somuch better off.
I'm like, see, we can strayaway from his leadership and try
to, you know, exert our, ourpower and authority and you
(33:18):
gently allowed us to like playthat out.
And then it came back to whatyou knew was best for us and we
all ended up agreeing that thatwas that works best for our
family.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Yeah, we had, as a family unit, we had to discover
what was best, and so that'swhat we did.
We discovered, as a family unit, what was best.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
But that one Sunday we just about killed you.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
It was terrible.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
I knew you were like.
This is against every fiber inmy being.
But the kids didn't notice it.
They just thought okay, dad'sgiven us the free reign to try
something different.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
We were still going to mass.
We were still doing what wewere supposed to be doing.
So we can play within theselines and figure out what's
happening.
And that's part of leadershipis letting other people try to
lead and try to experiencethings and do great.
Maybe it would have worked.
Maybe it would have worked andit would have been awesome yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Well, I appreciated that, that sweet little
experience where you didn't justshut us down but allowed to do
with that, and I think you wereeven more involved at that point
.
When we went back to our nineo'clock routine was like, hey,
let's stack a habit with this,like making brunch together, you
(34:40):
know, and and so then thatroutine of you know going out
and practicing our faith in thechurch was combined with a
family activity that helped usgrow in unity, and so that is
like even better, right thatwe're stacking it on activities
as a family that really help usto learn more about each other,
(35:04):
to rest instead of run off andgo to Costco or, you know, kids
go to sports or something likethat.
But it's helped us to preservethat third commandment, which is
to keep holy the Sabbath.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
You bet, you bet, I like it.
It's good stuff, good, goodstuff.
I just want to say one thingthough, especially for those any
guys listening if you're notthe spiritual leader of your
family right now, it's tough.
It was tough.
I mean, you said earlier thatyou gave me the reins back.
I don't know that.
That's actually how it happened.
I don't think you gave me thereins back.
(35:41):
I think it was kind of you hadthe reins and then we kind of
struggled over who had them.
And I mean it is hard.
It's hard to be the expectationthat leaders should have on
themselves first of all, and theexpectations that they should
have for the family.
It's, you know, it's a dauntingtask, and so I would say to
(36:03):
some of the men that arelistening if you're not there,
it's going to be tough, it'sgoing to be frightening.
There are points in time whereyou're going to not think that
you're doing it right, andyou're probably not.
You really probably aren't.
But that's okay, because that'spart of the learning process.
I'm still not doing it right Now.
I'm doing it significantlybetter than I was.
(36:23):
But I think it's important tojust to give people that grace
to say, hey, you know, thisisn't something that you just
switch the light switch and thenall of a sudden, ta-da, it's
working and it's perfect.
It's one of those things whereit's a process and sometimes it
(36:44):
hurts.
It really, really hurts as aman when you feel disrespected
and you don't feel like thingsare going the way that you want
them to, and then you, if you dosome real reflection on it,
it's because of your leadership,it's not because of your wife
or it's not because of your kids, it's because you failed in
your leadership, and that canthat can be a tough pill to
swallow.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Well, I think humility is such a part of it
too, and that's what I'veexperienced with you.
When you will just come to meand be like you know, Jordan,
I'm, I'm trying my best to bethe leader of this family.
And you know, when you do this,I feel like you kind of pull
the rug out from underneath me,and that's hard, it's hard to
(37:26):
handle when that happens.
And so when you just come to mein that soft way where you're
able to go like, listen, lady,I'm trying and you just keep
like wiping me out here, youknow.
Then I'm like, oh, that's right,he's trying and it's not going
to be perfect.
And, ladies, if you want yourhusband to be the spiritual
leader of your family, you know,give him permission to join
(37:50):
men's groups.
Give him permission to, youknow, protect his time around
reading the Bible, you know.
Ask him if he'd like to be partof something with you, to start
praying together or to startdiscovering something new about
your faith, and then allow himto lead in whatever way feels
(38:10):
natural for him at the time.
And then I always tell womenlike praise your husband for the
small, you know progress thathe's making, the little steps
that he's taking.
Just tell him I noticed this,you know.
Or, since you've been going tothis men's group, I've really
noticed a difference in the waythat you carry yourself, or the
(38:32):
confidence that you seem to havewhen it comes to distressing
decisions about our children orsomething, because that positive
reinforcement, I feel like,helps you too, am I right?
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Oh, 100%.
But that goes back to thebeginning of our conversation.
It's hard sometimes when thefruits of what someone's working
on doesn't appear as quickly asyou would like or sometimes it
doesn't at all internally, Ithink some of the spiritual
growth that I've had for myself,you and the kids will never
(39:04):
understand or never experienceor never see it or know it
because it was internally withme, or never experience it or
never see it or know it becauseit was internally with me.
And that internal growth, whileit's extremely important for
the growth and the leadership ofour family, that's a personal
thing for me.
You know, my growth didn't comein outward, so you don't have
(39:24):
anything to cling on to and say,hey, you know, I'm so glad that
you did X, y or Z and youreally showed your leadership or
something like that.
It's like it's not there andit's tough, it is really tough.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
And it's a journey right.
It's one of those things youjust go okay, am I going to do
this?
I want to be the leader of myfamily and as a woman, you say I
want my man to be the spiritualleader of our family and you
keep that kind of commitment toone another.
That that's the order ofpriorities.
We are going to hold at thehighest rank is first our faith
(39:59):
and then our marriage and thenthe leadership of our children.
Then, if you keep that frontand center in mind, you can
stumble and bumble around andforgive each other and and try
again.
But I think I think that's whatit takes is for a couple to
really say is do we believe this?
Do we believe that you, the man, should be the spiritual leader
(40:22):
of our family and, if so,control the controllables?
As a woman, I have to doeverything I can to support him
in his role as a leader, and youhave to do whatever it takes to
kind of continue to makeprogress in guiding us to church
, guiding us to things that aregood and holy and things that
(40:47):
make us love our neighbors andgo out in community and serve
those people in need.
And then it works together andyou've got an order of priority
that is spoken and lived out inyour family.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
Yeah, I think one of the big things about leadership
in the family and just kind ofin my head when you were saying
that is, this is not just meleading, right, this is not.
I'm the leader and you're thefollower, because there are
going to be times where I tripand I fall, I stumble and I fail
(41:22):
at what I'm doing.
And so when we're talkingleadership, you know it sounds
very hierarchical, hierarchical,hierarchical.
Yeah, look it up, everybody,look it up, but it's not.
It is, but it's not.
I think those times when I failand I come to you and I say
listen, george, I've, I'm atfault here, I'm sorry, like
(41:47):
those are the times where you'realso leading me, so it's not
just me leading, and then youhave to sit back and watch.
I think when we look at thefamily unit, when we look at the
husband and the wife, there isa leadership component that is
on both sides of this.
This is not a dominant malelike you have to do what I tell
you to do.
It's.
(42:08):
This is my leadership at themoment.
And now I've fallen and you'verisen up.
You're the one supporting usright now because I'm down.
It's kind of like the you knowa football analogy where you
know the next man up, you knowyour tight end goes out, then
you have to bring in a new tightend.
It's got to play the game.
You have to play the gamebecause we're all in this
spiritual battle.
We're all in the spiritualbattle in this spiritual battle.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
We're all in the spiritual battle.
So I'm glad you mentioned thatbecause I also, you know, really
firmly believe that you know,as husband and wife, if you are
not in a position where you areleading us spiritually in our
faith, that it is myresponsibility as like a
secondary leader, to do whateverI can to lead our kids to God,
(42:59):
right?
So I know a lot of you who arelistening might be thinking like
my husband isn't there, like hedoesn't even go to church or
he's not sure he believes in Godor whatever.
So am I supposed to just sitback and and not do anything
because I'm I'm waiting for himto do his job?
Oh, my goodness, you would dieinside if you actually did that
Right, because you know thatthat there's a better way.
(43:21):
And so if you know there's abetter way and the other person
isn't taking charge to lead thefamily in the faith, then as a
mother, you absolutely have tostep up and take that role.
However, there's a caveat tothis, because when you do that,
the primary goal should alwaysbe to invite in your husband
(43:44):
into this process.
It shouldn't be about youleading the kids in faith and
taking them to church and takingthem to Sunday school and
allowing him to sit on thesidelines.
Now it's also about not you know, dragging him, kicking and
screaming and say you will go tochurch with us.
No, no, no, no.
But it's saying we would lovefor you to join us.
(44:05):
You know, we learned this newthing.
Can we share it with you?
It's just that sweet way ofsaying I've got this right now
and I feel confident in leadingthe kids in their faith because
I'm grounded in my own faith andI recognize you are where you
are in your own journey of faith, or maybe in your place of just
(44:27):
sort of accepting that youdon't want to move in your faith
right now, but I'm always goingto invite you in.
I'm always going to try toinclude you and then not make
you feel guilty if you don'tparticipate right.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Yeah, there's a component of trust in that too.
Right, so maybe verbalizing Itrust that you can lead us I
mean, that is so empowering fora guy yes, you know, or I can
trust that you can lead us.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
I don't I have not thought this one through, so
don't take these words exactly,but I think there's a component
that's like I, you know, I Itrust in you, and that that
trust that could probablyactivate a lot of guys it can
activate a lot of men to to stepinto their true role of what it
is they're supposed to be doingI can't imagine because the two
(45:20):
become one in marriage that ifI were to tell you you know, I
trust that you you've got this,I trust that you know you can us
that that could truly unlockthat just sort of you know stuck
position.
Speaker 2 (45:39):
Well, it's permission to try.
Yeah, because now it's not.
The risk of failure has gonedown a little bit.
Failure is still a part of it,100%.
Speaker 1 (45:50):
But I think with that trust outwardly expressed, then
someone can move forwardespecially when the trust is
coming from your person, yourclosest person, your neighbor.
Right, we talk about lovingyour neighbor.
Your neighbor is your spouse ifyou're married.
Right, they are the closestperson to you.
So if the closest person to yousays I know where you are right
(46:14):
now and I trust that you canleave, you've got what it takes,
man, that can move mountainsbig time Good stuff.
Well listen, I think it'simportant for us to kind of keep
these conversations going.
So if you think you know thisisn't me or we're just not there
yet, guess what?
(46:34):
We aren't there yet either.
Okay, over here at the Langdonhouse in Denver, colorado, we
have nothing figured outperfectly.
We're just trying.
We're just on the road with adesire to seek the good, the
true, the beautiful and to leadour kids along that path with us
.
There's plenty of stumbling,there's plenty of mistakes and
(46:57):
missteps.
We've got a little therapy fundsaved up for our kids.
I think Parker might already beusing his.
You know like we're going toget this wrong, but we are
committed to trying to adjustand recalibrate the priorities
in our family life to be surethat you know God is at the
forefront of everything in ourlives, that our marriage comes
(47:20):
next and that our family and theunity of the family and what we
abundant life beyond our wallsof this home.
So we trust that you, too, cando this and be on this journey
(47:42):
with our community.
So thank you for tuning in withus, thanks for sharing this with
your spouse.
Thanks for sharing this withpeople in your circles.
Sharing this with your spouse,thanks for sharing this with
people in your circles.
You are helping us to reach somany married couples and
families across the globe.
We have people listening in allkinds of different countries
and I think we're up to like 42out of the 50 states.
(48:05):
So continue to share thispodcast with other people and
just know that that signatureline in my emails I am always in
your corner.
Yeah, josh and I over here,team Langdon, we truly are
always in your corner.
We'll catch you on anotherepisode of the show real soon,
(48:27):
take care.
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